If you’ve ever explored the transcendental field of spirituality, you would have discovered that the ego is often spoken about with contempt.
Many people carry the belief that the ego needs to be destroyed, muzzled or even killed. But do we need to destroy the ego? What is the ego, really? And furthermore, what can you learn about your own ego?
What is the Ego?
The ego is basically your identity, or who you think you are.
Your ego is usually constructed of a name, a personality, and a story. Within this personal story is a collection of memories, beliefs, impressions and sensations about who “you are,” where “you came from,” what “you’re good and bad at,” what “you’ve experienced,” and on, and on, and on, ad infinitum.
The Ego and Duality
The ego is a veil between what you think you are and what you actually are. You live under the illusion of the mind, totally unaware that you are directed by a great big load of stories! — Isira Sananda
Your ego was created, and is currently maintained, by the belief that you are “separate” from others and life itself. In other words, your ego believes that you are firmly HERE, and other people are firmly THERE. You have a body, life, and personality that is distinctly different from others. Therefore, according to the ego, you are not like other people. You are different. Or that’s what your thoughts tell you anyway.
As a result of being taught (or conditioned) to believe that you are a separate individual, you experience fear and suffering. Instead of simply experiencing life in its purity and wholeness, you filter life through your mind. You are taught to live life in duality. Duality is essentially the state of separation — it is the opposite of reality. It is the product of the mind. In duality, we essentially “split” or divide life.
Examples of duality include filtering life through the lenses of “right/wrong,” “good/bad,” “pretty/ugly,” “holy/sinful,” “love/hate” etc. As a product of living in duality, we create untold amounts of suffering for ourselves because we are no longer open to life. Instead, our lives become centered around judgment, condemnation, and fear. As a result, we alienate and destroy others who we perceive of as being “bad,” “wrong,” and “sinful” to protect our ideas of what is “right” and “holy.”
The more deeply we are entrenched in duality, the more we experience problems such as hatred, anger, depression, paranoia, anxiety, and perversion. Not only do we sever ourselves from others, but we are cut off from ourselves as well. Anything within us that we perceive as being “evil/bad/wrong/sinful” we suppress, repress and deny the existence of. As a result of this repressed energy, our Shadow Selves grow more and more twisted, destructive and depraved. Unless cleansed through shadow work, this intense suffering is ultimately expressed in our relationships and the world at large.
Our physical world is an expression of our collective internal torment. Our lives are an expression of our inner emptiness. Simply looking at the violence, murder, poverty, greed, bigotry, mental illness and environmental degradation shows us how profoundly lost we are as a race. We are lost because we have lost touch with the truth of who we are.
The Folly of Demonizing the Ego
In light of this discovery, it is very easy to start believing that the ego is bad. In fact, some spiritual teachers teach that the ego needs to be “destroyed.” But here’s the thing: this is just another trick of the mind! I’ve heard so many people in the spiritual community condemn the ego and speak of it with such great resentment. However, the belief that our egos are “evil” or need to be “killed/destroyed” is just a reflection of the mind stuck in duality!
The ego isn’t “good” or “bad,” it simply IS. We need to realize that the ego is simply a tool. The ego exists as a biological survival mechanism. The ego also exists as a vehicle for our spiritual growth; for us to become conscious of our own strength, love, and oneness. The ego is a doorway through which we can return to our True Nature.
Why the Ego Isn’t You
You may have heard before the expression: “the ego is an illusion.” What does this mean?
The ego is an illusion, and therefore isn’t really “you,” because it is always changing. In other words, how can anything within you that is subject to birth, change, and decay really be you?
Let’s try an experiment. Write down on a notepad or word document who “you” think you are. You can always stop reading and return back to reading this article after you’ve finished.
Take a break. Really. Do the experiment now.
Now that you’ve done the experiment, read over your words. Likely, you would have written something along the lines of, “I am Jane Doe. I’m a wife, mother, and friend. I’m a fighter, a dreamer, and a spiritual seeker. I am 38 years old, have three children and am a skilled artist.”
See this description of you? This is your main personal story; the backdrop of your life, of what you think you are.
The ego is an illusion because it is simply that: a story — a story created in the mind.
Let’s use some self-inquiry and apply these questions to your statement:
- How can you be a name if it can easily be changed? You could have very well been born into a different family that named you something else.
- How can you be a body if it is constantly aging, changing, disintegrating and can be replaced with other parts? Your red blood cells live for four months, your white blood cells live for more than a year, your skin cells live for 2-3 weeks … all cells within you are constantly dying and being renewed. How can you really be your body or looks?
- How can you be a personality when it is constantly fluctuating and transforming? Think back to your personality 5 years ago, then 15 years ago. Did you have the exact same personality that you do now?
- How can you be your emotions when they are constantly coming and going, ebbing and flowing? Not only that but do you really control your emotions? Where do they come from? Do you really control them?
- How can you be your thoughts when they always changing? Not only that but do you really control your thoughts? Where do they come from? Do you really control them?
- How can you be your beliefs when what you believed 10-30 years ago isn’t what you believe today? Your beliefs are influenced by your conditioning, upbringing, and society … how can they be “you” or “yours”?
- How can you be your memories when they come, go and even alter? Did you know that there is such a thing as “false memory”? When remembering the past, the mind has a tenuous and colored perception that is subject to change and alteration. How can your memory be you?
As we can see, everything that we unquestionably believe we are isn’t really us. So what really is us? What has been there all along?
What is That Presence?
What has been there to witness everything that has happened in your life? What never changes? What is the most fundamental core of who we are?
Explore this question for a few moments and you’ll realize that it’s:
Consciousness.
Consciousness is the fabric of all things. In fact, even science has shown that everything at its core is energy vibrating at different levels. In our human experience, Presence, Consciousness or Spirit manifests itself as the energy that composes every form.
It is hard to really put a word to this experience, as language is so limited. The easiest way to experience this Presence that is you, and always has been you, is through meditation. Meditation, or quieting the mind, helps you to become simply aware of your thoughts, and the space beneath those thoughts. That space is You.
Another common way humankind since the dawn of time has used to experience this Truth of Being, this ego death, is through psychedelic shamanic plants and brews, such as Ayahuasca, Psilocybin Mushrooms, and Peyote. Although it is helpful to take such herbs, it isn’t compulsory. These plants are simply doorways into the Universal Experience or Spirit that we are.
How to Untangle Yourself From the Web of Illusion
It can take a while to truly realize that you are not the Ego, and sometimes much more to integrate this discovery on a deep level. Discovering that everything you believed you were is false can be hard to accept. In fact, don’t be surprised if you experience a lot of resistance to this article. It’s normal.
Shadow Work Journal:
Go on a journey through the deepest and darkest corners of your psyche. Embrace your inner demons, uncover your hidden gifts, and reach the next level of your spiritual growth. This is deep and powerful work!
The ego’s job is to protect itself and the belief that you are separate from other people and life itself. Experiencing the state of no-ego, or no-self, that is “enlightenment” can appear to be extremely depressing or disturbing at first. How can having no “me” or “you” really be something desirable? This is a common question.
The answer is that in order to understand, you must experience Consciousness itself. Without experiencing the Truth that you are, the spiritual search becomes purely intellectual and prone to sabotaging fears. However, once you do experience even a single moment of Consciousness, you will discover for yourself that it is the most liberating, pure, peaceful, compassionate, expansive and loving state possible. In fact, Consciousness itself is the very embodiment of love, peace, and freedom. You are this embodiment. You are the Truth that you have been seeking for.
Untangling yourself from the web of illusion is a process that requires patience, self-discipline, and dedication. This process isn’t for trendy “spirit junkies,” it is for sincere spiritual seekers.
Here are some helpful spiritual practices that will help you reconnect with the truth of who you are:
- Read through the self-inquiry questions above regularly. Ask yourself, “Is this (that I think is me) really me?” Although emotions, thoughts, personality, and body are experienced by you, they are not truly you because they are subject to birth, death, and change.
- Practice dynamic meditation to release any repressed energy within you. Do this before traditional meditation to make it easier.
- Meditate each day. Try 15 minutes first, then move on to 30+ minutes. Remember: the purpose of meditation isn’t to “get” anywhere or “achieve” anything. It is simply the practice of sitting with whatever arises in you.
- Regularly affirm to yourself, “I am Consciousness” throughout the day. Feel that truth seep into your bones and very core with each breath.
- Explore the way your ego influences your life with compassion. You can do that by reading our articles and taking our free tests. I know you’ll find something that resonates!
- Read into the experience of The Spiritual Awakening Process to get further guidance. We created this book to help support you on the spiritual path.
- Practice mindfulness on a daily basis. Mindfulness is a vital practice that will help to ground you in the present moment.
The spiritual awakening journey is one that requires courage, radical honesty and the willingness to let go of all that you are not. What is the ego? The ego is a teacher, one that you carry with you each day. When seen in this light, the ego is the most powerful and persistent teacher we have to wake us up to the Truth that has always been here, and will always be here.
You did great work. You have a deep knowledge of the subject. I am from India and I have a passion for spirituality. I have been engaged with various spiritual institutions.
The Five Aspects of the I in the Me
I have no desire to be right or wrong, I just want to understand.
I guess this is a ripple from the ‘Sunday Morning Moment’ back in 2016. I was there physically, but that was it. All around me, life was happening without my involvement and seemingly all by itself. The course had been set yet I had no idea that I was about to undertake the most amazing, frustrating, wonderful and downright confusing, times in my life. In putting this pen to paper so to speak, the journey continues – only this time, it is in the form of reflection. This point-in-time destination was never my goal, and that in itself, is part of the wonder of life. It has grown and been nurtured, unbeknown to me, by my thoughts and actions – and in some cases, inactions.
The question of ‘Who am I’ was never a conscious consideration for me – until I began to see seemingly random pieces fall into place and show me an interconnected reality that for me, was both hard to ignore, and a true blessing. To me this offers some level of understanding of what we are, why we are like we are, and what we can do to change that – if we so wish. I guess that this is the point of all of this – it is completely optional, the only person to make a decision is you. The only person to change because of this, is you. And primarily, the only person to benefit from this, is you. The ironic paradox of this seemingly egocentric view point is not lost on me. I sought only to be a better person, to play my part in humanity, and in my mind that meant the world around me. I have come to realise that whatever I could offer the world would not be complete, or true, or genuine until I myself, first felt those things.
I have reached the point that I realise my opinions have not been my own, that my subsequent thoughts and actions have not been my own, and that I have been living a life that was not my own. It is time for my own, spiritual, Tabularasa. At this point in time, I have no idea where this will take me, but wherever it is, it is mine. Of my creation. Of my understanding. Of my choice – that in itself is an amazing thing.
To appreciate the sum, we must first understand the parts and be aware of what each plays in putting the ‘I in Me’ There is an interconnectedness and solitude within each – alone and yet dependant on one another. Yet another paradox. Having been a product of my environment, programming and dictated reality, I now see just how important the mind is, and why we should take the time to do whatever we can to re-program, re-charge and re-align to our true selves and take back the ownership of our everyday reality.
I guess the ultimate question is that of ‘who am I?’ The following offers my philosophical understanding to date, of the question we all ponder so much.
The conscious mind.
The sub-conscious mind.
The Ego.
The Spirit.
The Soul.
That constant voice in your and my heads is a combination and reflection of, all of the above. All play a part, to a greater or lesser degree, depending upon our perception of life and what it is showing us. In the main, the order above, is what drives us, shapes us, makes us aware – but in a somewhat limited way, but in a way that the majority of people come to accept as an everyday reality.
The sub-conscious mind is the tape recorder that plays for 95% of our waking day and provides the framework on which we build our reality. The conscious mind only gets to play, for 5% of our day – whenever we are in the here and now, or in the moment. The Ego, the mightily destructive ego has nurtured itself, very quietly, unobtrusively, alongside and in conjunction with, the tape recordings.
The Spirit, with all of it’s hopes dreams and desires, inspirational ideas and a limitless number of possibilities in life. It sees with eyes that have no boundaries and offers you a glimpse of the potential you can attain. Then we have the soul, in its warm, comfortable, cup of cocoa and slippers kind of way. It resonates with security, familiarity, good times, happy times and laughter.
In this order of understanding, the five aspects of the I in Me, offer at best, stagnation, and at worst, a backwards movement within our lives. This is due to one reason, and one reason alone – the Ego. It does everything it can to maintain the I in itself and doesn’t care how it does this, so long as it does. Ultimately this severs the connection to the Spirit and Soul – self.
If, in understanding of the detremental role the Ego plays, we can reverse the list, for as soon as we shine the spotlight of awareness on it, it’s power and influence decreases and our lives take on new meaning, with the inclusion of all the five aspects. This in turn allows us to start making new recordings that are not ego centered, and are for the benefit for both ourselves, and all of those around us : –
Soul, Spirit, Ego, Sub-conscious, Conscious.
A Conscious – “A Being – For – Itself”
A Sub-conscious – “A Being – In – itself”
“The Being – For – Itself can take control of it’s own life and use it’s conscious thought to direct it’s own purpose. Whereas, the Being – In – Itself, can only be what it is, and what others use it for. ”
Sartre.
So, again, in a reality according to Freud, there are three parts to the Sub-conscious mind. The ID, the Superego, and the Ego. He equated the ID to a primal function that evokes life and death instincts. The Superego, which developed as a result of the ID’s growing awareness – albeit at a primal level, to create a concurrent awareness that would be defined, in it’s entirety, by the first seven years of it’s life. The last, and by no means least, is the Ego. Every other thing, that life has thrown , or indeed shown, this person, has gone into the mixture that makes up the Ego. So there should only be two areas of focus for all of us – the Superego and the Ego.
The Superego is created in the first seven years of your life – your brains are operating on a different frequency to the one you are using now – Theta Waves. Have you ever heard the saying,
“ahhh……just look at ’em, taking it all in”
That is exactly what is happening, taking it all in, recording, recording the rules of life’s game – possibly so that the ID can get a little satisfaction. The most bizzare thing there is, is that we programme our children to conform, right from the get-go. The first 7 years of any sphere of influence you may have of the child, will help/or hinder, to create their own reality. The Jesuit priests are well accredited with the saying,
“Give me the child until it is seven years of age, and I will show you the man. ”
The Ego is next. So when you think about it, this little puppy is built entirely of sand. Sand that was put there by someone else, and not nesessarly with the best of intentions. People dissapointments, perpetuating self doubts and an increasing sence of ‘what’s it all about?’ Moments of joy, wonder and gladness, tinged with tears of remorse, regret and self-recrimination. But, as I say, this reality has it’s foundations in sand and therefore should be viewed somewhat objectively. There should be no power struggle with the Ego – just understanding, acceptance, and a wry smile.
If anything is to change in your life, then look at the first seven years of life with reality and objectivity – knowing at all times that the best intentions were on display that day, for where that person was at, on that day. This offers the beginnings of a new, individual understanding – it doesn’t have to be a massive thing, it may seem quite insignificant – but it may be significant enough to keep the balance out of your life. It’s at this point that you either allow your past to control and define you, or you allow your past to console and re-define you – the choice is yours.
I guess the only way you could judge something to be good or bad, would be in remembering how it made you feel. But that in itself may be tainted with the external protocal responses that the Ego has picked up along the merry way. Any which way, this is the starting point of, well, anything you want really – with an acceptance of any toxic human conditioning, for what it was. This will then open up the doors to the hall of the mighty Ego. Knowing that there is a reason why you feel the way you do, or live the life you lead, or worse still, dont lead.
“You cannot achieve a positive change unless your Ego is also directing this, as it is the organising principle of the ordinary mind. If the Ego has become fully involved in gradual misaligned confusion, it will not permit positive change but only persue affirmation of ingrained belief.”
Domo Gesha Rinpoche.
The only way to change your reality is to start with the conscious mind. This little bad boy needs to be converted from a connector, to a creator. As a connector, the conscious mind facilitates the perpetual, everyday and seemingly everlasting, mental roundabout that you find yourself on. It knows no better, because thats always how it’s been done. Simply re-inforcing the tape recordings that are keeping you where you are, spinning and spinning and not knowing the reasons why. As a creator, however, it is in a league of it’s own. The conscious mind now has to undertake the most bizzare period of, what can only be described as, unusual, unusual and maybe a little bit delusional. Repetition from the conscious mind will gradually start to erase the old recordings, and lay down bright, shiny, new digitally remastered ones. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change – so true, all day long, so true.
The information about yourself, being fed by the conscious, to the sub conscious needs to reflect the real you, the who you are, what you see your contribution to be, and as much positive self talk as you can muster. I found I was encouraging myself and my subconscious was like, “you what, you really just said that you are going to write a book” and then hear the internal laughter – it will happen. Persistance, belief in yourself, and an acceptance that you may feel a bit weird from time to time. This, after an amount of time, the universal shifting begins – your sub-consciousness buys into all that the conscious has been telling it. It buys into it and sets about, doing everything in it’s collective conscious, to facilitate it.
For me, the next step has been very illuminating – that of the synchronicities, synchronicities and their perfectly orchestrated little nuggets of joy, that guide us along the way. The first job of the day for me was to move some medical equipment from the maternity block to Interventional. My next job was to collect eight units of blood from the blood bank,and to take them to Interventional – there was a ladies name on the blood. The third job was to collect a patient from the maternity block, and take them to interventional – it was the same lady as I had previously collected the blood and moved the equipment for. These things are all around us and are there to be seen, appreciated, and maybe even acted upon. It is in taking time to stop, breathe and observe, that we allow ourselves to see them.
In having an Ego, that is an imposter from the ground up, we somehow block the flow with the Spirit and Soul parts to ourselves. I guess this could be why there may be a sence of emptyness, devoid of any tangeable meaning or purpose. But stop the flow it does, and in shining a light of understanding, acceptance, and with a wry smile, we can help it to work in our favour. It is then, and only then, does the Spirt and the Soul, have the room to manouvre, space to influence, and, at last, a chance to participate. You have been firing on three cylinders, when in actual fact, you have five – it’s just the blockage in the Sub-conscious Ego, was stopping them from working. Clear the blockage, and you’ll be firing on five, all day, every day – and that will make such a difference in your life.
I see, hear, touch taste and smell things differently. The reality that is looking at me, and I, still in my amazement, I am gleefully staring back at – safe in the knowledge that it is of me, by me, and for me – is truely incredible. You never seem to be answering life’s questions on your own anymore. A great big ginormous, ever so tiny, life-sync will blip. The blip will pulsate the waves, the waves will pulsate your life. I never really truely understood what it meant to ‘let go’ and to ’embrace the new you’ , but I do now. Humility – not by thinking less of yourself, but by thinking of yourself less. Servitutde. Unchained and Unconditional – from Soul to Soul, with a contract written in eternity. In remembering that everything starts with you. Take the time to look after your Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual well-being. In that moment that you undertake to look after your Physical, Emotional and Spiritual well-being, you do it not only for yourself, but for Source, and for Humanity.
The connection between the Soul and Subconscious mind is a tangeable pathway that is prone to blockage. If the connection pathway between the two has been blocked (by the Ego), then the pre-determined lifestyle recordings, are free to keep playing as they wish. Once the Ego is accepted, evaluated and integrated, then the blockage is removed and an environment for change has happened. You need your Souls help reprogramming your Subconscious mind. The Consciousness is the voicebox of the Ego – assimilate the Ego on your terms, and the conversation via the Consciousness changes. Whilst you continue to be directed by the Ego-realised Consciousness, you will remain unchanged and unaware – save that little voice from time to time as your Soul tries to re-establish contact. Your personality is an accumulation of an eternity of Consciousness and is the purest, truest reflection, of yourself that there is. This is why the connection with it – ie, the Soul, is so important.
So important – it is your Eternal Consciousness, an acumulation of the very essence of you. The personality, the long established likes and dislikes, the comfortable, snugly fitting you – the always looking out for the best for you. The importance of it’s symbiotic, solitary, connectedness is massive, and serves no other purpose, when not connected, to detract from you – the real you. There is ia very definate link between all 5 aspects of the I in Me, yet it is in isolating, identifying and assimilating each one individually, do we begin to see all gears moving in unison. We start the car off in first gear, and as momentum builds we move to second.
And as momentum builds, we move to third – and so on. How we live our lives, what we project into the world, and, indeed, our own mental imput, provides the momentum, it is by moving through, and in understanding of, our five gears – Conscious, Subconscious, Ego, Spirit, and Soul, do we elevate our existance, experience, and reality in this world.
If there is any reason for all that you have just read then it is this, I genuinely believed that Freud underestimated the role that the ID plays in the percepted reality we experience. He postulates that the ID and the SuperEgo must form an alliance, and ideally, an equilibrium, in order to facilitate the Ego. I would suggest that the ID should be considered an entity in it’s own right – despite being viewed as a non-programmable part of the brain. Something, an essance, that is just there, that is. This is where your Soul resides, your Soul and intuition. Your personality, and therefore Soul, is an accumulation of an eternity of Consciousness and is the purest, truest reflection of yourself that there is. It holds your past life memories and the blueprint for this one. How can this be a sub plot in the creation of ones life?
‘It starts in the Mind, and starts in the Spirit, and starts in the Soul.
Life must change, and in doing so, opens up new, unexplored, undreamed avenues to a new reality of what lies beyond.
There is no comprehension, dreams are limited, and yet exceeded.’
Paul Tomkinson
The Sub-conscious mind however, really is, the Person within the person – or at least one part of it is. According to Freud, there are two distinct, individual parts to every human beings sub-conscious mind. The Descriptive and the Dynamic. This is where you map out your life, your very thoughts shape the world you live in, your good days and bad, are all created here. The descriptive is the totally submissive – being culpable only by default – Programme Storage and Manifestation. A personal library that simply provides the shelves, nothing more, no input, no opinion – it has been your life so far, that is responsible for filling the said shelves. The Dynamic however, tells you who you are, what to belive, what is right, what is wrong. This is where we come unstuck – none of it’s actually ours. Did I mention the fact that this is where the Ego also lives – all three parts to her.
just so you know. Look up Dissociative Identity Disorder. Consciousness is NOT always there. there IS separation in reality, in life. I am NOT another person and thus have my own beliefs and personality. I understand we are all energy. The idea that I have NO identity is a fucking mind fuck when you’ve lived in bondage
I know that I am making decisions because of my ego and ‘self centeredness’ for a lack of a better word because I my current situation I’m not ‘happy’ it would be wise to recognize that I am not ‘separate’ and that I am consciousness.. but if I didn’t have my ego what would drive me to live the life that ‘ I’ want to live or does that not even matter because that’s not the spiritual goal and I should force myself l stay in my situation because if I don’t I’m letting the ego get the best of me?
It’s what Buddhists call Emptiness. Using a chariot to illustrate how there is nothing established as a truly existing self. “The chariot is not its parts, it is not something separate from its parts, the chariot does not exist dependent on its parts, the chariot does not possess its parts, the chariot is not identical with the collection of its parts, the chariot is not its shape”. -taken from Emptiness by Geshe T Tsering. (The foundation of Buddhist thought. Vol 5)
Anyway it is a concept that took me a while to grasp and will take a lifetime to incorporate into my life. I don’t have much of any ego with rampant anxiety and insecurities, but studying Buddhist philosophy and teachings has helped in learning about myself.
Sorry Bill but I find your analogy of the chariot fatuous and misleading. No chariot that I know of has cognition, consiousness and may be aware of itself. We might disagree on the details of what actually constitutes the ego but it is there for the sole purpose of enabling us to make our way in the real world of thoughts and deeds. (Not so much a chariot as the charioteer). So it is not an illusion at all but that part of us that gives us agency and therefore matters most of all to us. The rest – our spirituality, our ‘life heritage’ (good and bad stuff alike) and our fates are there to inspire it, inform it and challenge it.
Denying the essential role of the ego in a life well-lived is, to me, an example of ‘existential bypassing’ and I can see no value in it outside temporary spiritual practices.
I just recently found this site, & I absolutely love the down to earth spirituality I am finding here. I have long believed spirituality includes the body, the earth, the practical, and the shadow, but couldn”t find a niche to share that with like-minded people. Very grateful and happy to have found all of you.
I admit I did not do well with the ‘tests’ in this article, where I ‘forget’ everything about my past and that has happened to me. I do see the value in it. I have found that it’s not so much my past that has shaped me, but my interpretation of those events that stand out in the past. I have learned things over time that, when a memory surfaces, the entire meaning of the events in the memory changed. I feel I have lived many lives and been many people in this lifetime so far. Partly because what I learn and how I grow changes me over time, and also in part because I learned not to let the past define me. We are meant to learn from this chaotic beautiful world, and what we learn is truly up to us, and I learn best when I am connected to my Soul as well as the physical.
Example–I was in an abusive relationship long, long ago, when times were different. I suppose I could have learned I am a victim, but instead I learned that I am actually quite strong and I knew what to look for to avoid that situation again. This is a bit of a simplistic example so I hope it was clear.
I’ve heard people say ‘I’ve given up on having a better past.’ Well, I have changed my past several times in that I have looked back with a different perspective, and learned something I need to know.
And still, the past is no longer ‘real’, only now is real. The past is a tool that I must be careful not to misuse. I am reading some beautiful stuff about Shadow Work via this site’s authors that is giving me alternatives to blaming the past in re parents, upbringing, society, how things are done….etc. I wish to be whole.
I am wishing everyone the best that ‘now’ has to offer!
I have a negative ego which creates lots of destructive emotions for me. I am trying to build a strong personality using positive affirmations. Can negative alter ego destroy my positive beliefs?
Depending on it’s strength, yes it can. The longer way around this but often the more long lasting, is to approach the ego’s negative beliefs through shadow work.
Thank you for this beautiful article. I’m on a spiritual journey at early stages having abandoned it for years. It’s like trying to traverse Mount Everest in bare feet.
I’ve been in a weird place since my brother-in-law passed away from a brain tumour. I had to be strong for the whole family so I stepped in and stayed by his hospice bedside for the final two weeks of his life… a move that cost me my job but I would still make that decision if I had to do that all over again. During his long illness, my husband and I became Christians… my husband was always one as his family are incredibly devout. I tried it for about six months but I was getting increasingly angry and bitter. I hid it for a while but I turned my back on religion completely. I’d seen the most judgemental people in those circles and praying did nothingfor my brother-in-law.
Since then, I found myself reading Brian Weiss’ book, Many Lives, Many Masters for the second time in my life and it brought me right to a purely spiritual path where everything made sense.
It’s had me questioning myself and why I’ve been stuck in this weird place for so long. I was abused as a child so my ego was never nurtured. I was also bullied at school and nowhere was safe. I feel like I developed a hugely overinflated ego that tried to give me what I never got at home or with friends.
I feel like I’m waking up from a coma and everything hurts and is a mess. My ego feels like a monster who has lost its disguise, has built a solid wall around me that I didn’t even notice was keeping me trapped rather than protecting me, and the monster is stomping around my soul because it wants its own way all the time… it pushes me to gossip at work, snap at my poor husband, feel bitter, twisted and toxic. I hate how I feel now I’m aware and I feel so alone because I just spend too much time talking about myself with others… nobody is gonna want to hear this.
Shockingly enough, I used to be as quiet as a mouse and wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Then I started having counselling at 23 (been in and out of counselling ever since… I’m 39 now), and it gave me a sense of self which helped me to end my relationship with my abusive boyfriend at the time but my sense of self feels like a curse… it made me outspoken and passionate to the point where I’m very hard to handle… how has my husband put up with me for so long?!
Anyway, I really, really love your site and your ethos about being a lone wolf… I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I am one.
Much love, light and blessings to you. Thank you for helping on my long journey xx
This doesnt make much sense..because something is changing this doesnt mean that is not exist…the same brain is there and can change throught neuroplasticity…ego is not separate form “us”, its the result of consciousness..yes there is a story but consiousness is expressing this story..is like saying words are not us, of course we are not words we are the consious beings that is telling or writing these words
Sounds fishy. “We can’t describe “Consciousness” in definite terms, so we will use vagueness at maximum, and if you want to know how it really is, try it yourself. And remember to repeat “I am Consciousness” time to time!”
Also, “The ego is an illusion, and therefore isn’t really “you,” because it is always changing. ” – what does it even mean? Why something that changes is illusion? You can’t just drop a statement like that and not back it up with anything. And no, experiment does not count. You just created a convenient fictional story on behalf of a reader, refuted it, and called it proof.
Conscious can be described though to really know it must be experienced through practices such as meditation. Everything that arises within your conscious awareness (thoughts, sounds, physical sensations,) are all part of what we could call “Consciousness”.
The ego is an illusion because it’s a concept and construct of the mind, if you look for it you can’t find it. If you close your eyes and look for a ‘self’, a thinker, is there anything there? Or is it a conscious space in which thoughts arise out of nowhere? Can you look within your mind and identify the ‘ego’ and say “yes, that’s the ego right there!”?
You describe “Consciousness” as “Everything that arises within your conscious awareness (thoughts, sounds, physical sensations,)”, but you aslo describe ego similarly in the article: “…is a collection of memories, beliefs, impressions and sensations…”(I think you wouldn’t disagree that perceived physically is a part of memories, and so our thoughts are shaped by our experience). So, I don’t really understand how you seperate both terms. I hope you can go more in depth, or link some articles.
And to my general point, everything we experience is stored in our brain. So my take on this, when you go “Conscious”, you just create an entity that is seperate from your ego, however that entity is a product of your ego, of what you think would happen if you would lack any judgmental abilities and personal experiences. I don’t believe that there is a hidden puppet master that controls what you think, of which you can take control of.
Consciousness can only happen in the present moment, you’re only consciously aware in the present (so thoughts, feelings, sensations etc that arise in this very moment). But the sense of self or the ego, is a collection of both past memories and events (traumas, fears, ideologies, beliefs, social conditioning, etc) and future ideas (expectations, dreams, and so forth). The ego appears within the conscious awareness, but the conscious awareness is independent of the ego.
You can’t go ‘conscious’ because it’s something that’s always happening, that’s always there, the basis of all experience. As you say, if ‘being conscious’ was to become a new identity, then it would be part of the ego/self. A baby is conscious but has no ego or sense of self till about 6 months, when they can recognize themselves in the mirror. Up to that point, they see their reflection as a separate individual.
I never said there’s a puppet master, but there’s definitely no objective free will as neuroscience has proven (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroscience_of_free_will) and the sense of self/ego is a way this lack of free will manifests itself.
We are Consciousness, unified with Universal Consciousness, “God.” And unified with each other. We are not our bodies or persona’s (mask). Our individual sense of personal self is a delusion, an image in human mind. Ego is a biological part of us for survival, our personal stories are myths, changeable at any time, self-created. We are Spiritual/Soul Consciousness made of Eternal Light Energy, unconditional Love. ONE.
But as the construct of ‘personality’ is the global cultural norm, if we choose to do away with the personality-interface, would this not prevent others from interacting with us? Should we think of our ego / sense of self as a garment we put on, to enable communication with others? That can be modified or removed depending on the way we are interacting with our environment?