Dreams are like enchanted doorways to the mind, revealing our deepest needs, desires, feelings and fears. In the most whimsical, bizarre and sometimes terrifying ways, our dreams present to us symbols, metaphors and allegories that are rich in personal meaning and significance.
Our dreams can teach us a lot about ourselves, there is no denying that. And while they are extremely invaluable tools of self-discovery, the art of “dream interpretation” has been greatly muddied, monetized and complicated to unnecessary extents.
Have you ever had a dream that you were curious to discover the meaning of, but felt the need to consult some kind of “A-Z dream dictionary,” online dream meaning website, or even “dream consultant” such as a psychic or intuitive? If you are like most people, you will feel as though this is a natural and necessary step in order for you to understand the meaning of your dreams. But it isn’t.
I’ve bought dream dictionaries and have consulted with all types of people in the past, trying to desperately understand the meaning of dreams which I felt had great significance to me. But eventually I realized that the entire confusing process was completely unnecessary.
Understanding the meaning of your dreams doesn’t need to be something cryptic or complex. It never needed to be in the first place. And today you will discover why.
The Answers Are Within You – Not Without
Since birth we have been conditioned to listen to everyone but ourselves. We have been heavily indoctrinated into the belief that “any true and worthy answer” comes from without ourselves – from figures of authority, from religion, from educational institutions and from family members. We are taught not only to second-guess our thoughts, judgments and intuitions, but to completely ignore and discount them.
Therefore, it’s no wonder that when it comes to understanding the meaning of our dreams, we immediately scour the outer world for answers, believing deep down that our answers aren’t truly trustworthy, satisfying or worthwhile enough. Strangely, this seems to be the norm.
And while it can help to consult websites, books, forums, and even other people for guidance and assistance, we seem to harbor a very imbalanced perspective towards understanding the meaning of our dreams that prevents us from truly learning from them.
While there are some widely accepted interpretations for the different objects, people and occurrences in our dreams (which shouldn’t be completely discredited), our dreams are highly personal in nature meaning that only really we can understand their true meanings and messages.
Your life context; your experiences, your feelings, your beliefs, your values, your fears, your desires, your dreams, your perspectives will be uniquely different from others. Your dreams are finely tuned to you. And therefore, your answers will also be finely tuned to you.
Uncover the Hidden Meaning of Your Dreams with One Simple Technique
Personally, dream interpretation has been one of the most powerful tools of self-insight in my life. No matter how pleasant, embarrassing or horrific my dreams have been, I’ve always been able to learn lessons from them.
One technique I use that never leaves me lacking answers, vaguely confused, or under a cloak of skepticism and distrust, is called “free association.”
Free association is basically the process of spitting out as many thoughts or feelings as you can onto a piece of paper, and making connections between them.
Author Doreen Valiente, defines free association eloquently:
A method of interpreting dreams which is often recommended by psychologists, is that of free association. This means that you think over the symbolism of the dream, and record whatever your mind spontaneously associates with it, however irrelevant such an association may at first appear.
Originally created by Freud in the late 1800’s, free association is often used in psychoanalysis to uncover hidden thoughts and feelings that have been repressed. These thoughts and feelings often appear as stories, places, experiences, objects and feelings within dreams.
But … you might be wondering, “How do I go about free associating by myself?” “Do I need anything in particular?” “Is it difficult?”
The answer is that free association is just as easy and simple as making a cup of tea. All you really need is a pen and paper. But to effectively free associate you will need to keep a few things in mind:
1. Make sure you have an attitude of non-judgement and curiosity.
Free association is about letting thoughts and words come to you, completely unfiltered. This could mean that you might write down seemingly irrelevant, embarrassing, strange, shocking or even “crazy” things. Resist the temptation to judge yourself and hold back: you will only withhold potentially important and revealing information. The more open you are, the more you will understand the meaning of your dreams.
2. Write down anything and everything that comes to mind.
This is the essence of free association: spew out anything you think or feel in relation to your dream. It’s a sort of mental diarrhea. For instance, if you’ve had a dream about being chased to the edge of a cliff, you might free associate words such as “fear of failure, threat, hiding from something, demanding parents, responsibilities, stressed, lost, scared, fed up, walking on eggshells” and so forth.
Free association tends to look something like this:
3. Feel free to pause.
The difference between free association and free writing, is that free association is done thoughtfully, while free writing is done as an act of mentally purging all thoughts that come into your mind. When you start to free associate, take time to pause, think, introspect, and dig for a word or feeling – but not for too long (or, not for more than a few seconds)! Free association is about getting into a gentle flow.
4. Reflect and draw connections.
After you have finished free associating every word that comes to mind, take a few minutes to reflect on what you have written. What connections can you find? For example, you might have free associated a dream about traveling to a foreign land with words like “adventure, change, desire for more, want to do something, excitement, big world, explore.” Reflecting on these words, it could be concluded that you want to expand your world and that you are ready for change to occur in your life. You might also be tired of your old ways, and you might desire the adventure of new ways of life.
5. The frequency of a dream greatly impacts its significance.
Ideally free association should be applied to dreams that frequently emerge each night. The more often a certain type of dream appears in your life, the more likely it is of great significance to you. But then, if a dream pops out of the blue which just happens to stun or confound you, by all means free associate!
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While it might be easier and more convenient to quickly search up the meaning of your dreams online or in a book, true self-discovery is about looking inside for the answers and realizing that often the most authentic discoveries actually come from within you.
Remember that your dreams have unique and highly personal meanings that only you can uncover.
What have your experiences been with trying to understand the meaning of your dreams?
I have had maybe one dream I remembered over the past several months. I do not seem to remember any of my dreams. I am not sure what that says about me.
I agree that dreaming is a
highly individual and unique experience. My own dream types are rather
simple and easily distinguished. I either get meaningless nightmares,
meaningless brainfarts as my system processes past experiences, or
messages from my spirit guides. I can ignore all but the last, and those
are either blatantly obvious and non-symbolic, or carry strong
symbolism designed for my current state of mind. With the obvious
messages it is a no-brainer, I just follow the advice I’m given. With
the symbolic messages I usually write down keywords after waking up, go
back to sleep. Then in the morning I
write down the whole dream, isolate each symbol and work to interpret
its meaning. Some symbols are personal and I just have to think about it
for a while to find the meaning. Other symbols are more archetypal such
as animal totems or numerology, those I look up online, sift through
the information and discern what resonates with me, discarding the rest.
Then I work to find if there is any additional meaning with the
combination of present symbols.
I find myself having the same dream over and over again, with the same characters. In the dream, while I am asleep, I can feel and hear myself asking the other person questions in the dream and able to respond to their answers. It feels so real, and I’m not quite able to understand what the dream is really saying to me.
I used to use the dream explaining books, but now I know the origine of my dreams are very different and that makes it difficult to decipher the meaning or message. My dreams contain elements of everything I thought, experienced, saw or felt that day. I once read people have rarely a nightmare, for I have a nightmare every week of every other week. Most of the times I am being chased or shut at or there are dangerous animals nearby. I can now link it to the stress niveau of my life at that time. When I am experiencing stress during the day, I get chased by night. I still find it difficult to figure out if there is a deeper message in my dreams, because I can not tell if it is mear a reflection of a movie I saw (for exemple) or if it is an uncounsious message trying to get through to me. How can you tell the difference?
Aletheia, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for this article. <3
I've had vivid dreams for as long as I can remember, but only first stumbled across Freud's concept of free association here today. Over the last several months, I have been graced with the recurring dream theme of a significant earthquake in the Pacific Northwest… which, on occasion, is accompanied by an ensuing tsunami. These dreams are very profound and powerful. Experiencing a recurring theme is a first for me and I'm excited to interpret the meaning of these dreams further using this concept.
I began dream interpretation 26 years ago after reading about Jung’s archetypes. I also wrote a 3 part article for a magazine once, on how to use archetypes in dreams. I found using this method with a good dose of intuition, I was successfully able to interpret dreams for others, even without ever meeting them.
Dream symbols are a language unique to each person that will build up over our life. A house or abode will tend to have the same meaning for everyone, as its a universal symbol, but it will show up in the dream in a way unique to the dreamer. The best way to most accurately interpret your own dreams is to build up your own dream dictionary, which can only be done over time.
Another thing to be aware of, if you have a fear of something in your daily life, if it turns up in a dream, it usually is pointing to something you are afraid to face in your waking life. That’s why the standard definitions given to things in dream dictionaries can’t be trusted. They will tell you things like high places or heights are a symbol for rising or progressing in your career, as an example. Not with me. I have a severe fear of heights and every time high places show up in dreams, it signals I am ignoring something in my waking life.
The only way to understand your dreams is to take time to learn your unique language. Free association is a great tool for that :)
Thank you for offering your expertise here Michelle. :)
I like Jung’s idea that dreams are not just hidden suppressed stuff like Freud taught but reveal more than they conceal. Pardon my French but Freud was a prick.
I was jumping from a high bridge through a hatch. For me it meant I made a decision as opposed to being pushed. I was scared to go near cliffs as a child and when I saw my brothers near cliffs it terrified me. Death and the unknown.
I read the Freud´s book when I was 19 and learnt to interpret my own dreams after that with the free association method. I could add to your list, that it is important to pay attention to the atmosphere of the dream or the emotions that arise during the dream. They may be the key to the right interpretation. I also found out that dreams often play with words and metaphors used in language and therefore the interpretation is partially dependent on your mother language. There are pretty universal dream symbols as well, but I woudn´t use a dream dictionary for understanding my own dreams. Sometimes a common universal symbol (like house is usually a symbol of the dreamer him/herself) can´t be interpreted in a larger meaning, if it actually has some personal meaning and refers to an actual event which is relevant her/his life.
I´m 47 now, so I have 28 years of practice from dream interpretation and it has been one of the most important methods of self-discovery and one of the most important skills what I´ve learnt in my whole life.
28 years of practice, wow Lady! Thank you for sharing these insights, especially about nuances such as paying attention to the atmosphere and the emotions. Such subtleties can change the entire meaning of the dream. It’s a fine art!
Yes, I agree! The emotion around what is happening is so important. Thanks for your wonderful web site, Luna and Sol!!
I dread my sleep times whether day or night.My dreams always involve tears.They always involve my breakups and brushes with people,friends and relatives.I know without a shadow of doubt that my dreams are reminding me that I have to brush on my relationship-maintaining skills which also involve communication skills.In each of my dream,i have met every single person with whom I had some unpleasant brush or breakup.I know its guilt,my shadow self,my lack of coping skills that is beng reflected in my dreams.But I simply cant understand what to do with all these self destroying temperments that I have.It is driving me to suicidal tendencies.Its so important to adjust and adapt to the society we live in to simply be able to get along and survive. I need help before Im found hanging by the ceiling.
The voice you hear in the conscious/unconscious state is your Shadow, Uma — although it is hard to accept, this is a normal part of all of us that we tend to disown and fear because it is where all of our repressed feelings and thoughts lie. Rather than perceiving this as a terrible thing (which indeed it feels that way), try to see it as a lesson, as an interesting opportunity to see where you can improve in life. None of us are perfect, and it is that voice within us that tells us we “have to be perfect” that creates so much suffering. I am on this path as well and many times it can be so difficult. But I’ve learned that approaching these parts of ourselves that cause us pain with love, with an acceptance that we have hurt ourselves and others, helps to open us rather than close us with remorse, guilt and self-hatred. Don’t avoid your fears, sit in them. Welcome them for the lessons they bring, feel the pain but resolve to use it as a teacher for the refinement of your being. I am with you — so are countless others who experience the same strife. I hope these thoughts help you. If you truly are feeling suicidal, please do seek out professional support.
I hope you are OK, Uma. I just want to put this out here. I find the Loving-kindness or Metta meditation extremely helpful when I am trying to forgive myself and/or others. It really helps bring peace to a situation. I have gotten to the point where if there is some self-critism or I have a brush with someone I do this meditation immediately. For me, it helps so much.
I like this one. I am a very vivid dreamer and I learnt quickly not to trust those dream dictionaries when I first started noting them (lol) I feel they use general symbolism that can be agreed on internationally and thus help sales, as opposed to what the imagery may mean to the dreamer in that moment of their life.
Good Job =)
Yes, that is a good point Rook! Not all of the symbolism in dream guides and dictionaries can be applied cross-culturally. Very true — and another reason why it is better to sit down and look within for the answers.
Thank you for reading and sharing. :)
ThankYou Aletheia…Awsome Article… Blessings…
My pleasure Anja. I’m happy you benefited from it! :)
My dreams has always seemed meaningful to me – and I relate deeply to how this article inspires to look inside of yourself, rather than on external guiding. I have, for a long time, tried to understand the underlying meaning of my dreams, especially three different dreams that has completely changed my life. I think the truth lies within yourself. Your emotions, experiences, who you are… Dreams can help you understand who you are.
The way I try to understand my dreams is by writing them down. I almost always remember my dreams several days after. After writing down my dreams, I try to go back to the feelings I felt in the dream. The main feeling is usually what is stuck with me, sometimes several days after dreaming about it.
I’m glad that you could relate to this article Draumande. :) One thing I neglected to mention in this article is recalling dreams, which many people seem to struggle with. For some reason your comment reminded me of something I read and tried ages ago; that of using feelings and sensations to anchor yourself back into the memory of dreams first thing in the morning. This helps especially if you’re a kinesthetic person.
Thank you for commenting and reading!
I find when I follow the feeling of the dream it’s like a magician pulling out the handkerchief from his sleeve and one follows the next. Eventually they tell a story.
An agent advised me writing a movie is like a dream. You write 100 scenes all unconnected and figure out how they connect after, as the day goes on.
A very interesting article indeed.
When I dream, it is strange because I am almost always aware of being in a dream-like state, but regardless of this, I continue with it anyway.
Another odd thing I have also experienced is this: in the middle of a dream, I began to look back to another I had a the previous month and replay it. I even said to myself in the dream: “I remember that from another a while back”. After which, my normal dream continued and I remained asleep until it turned into a nightmare.
Although my dreams sometimes reference others, never before has it happened to such an extent.
For answers, I find looking within rather than seeking an external conclusion works best. But so far, that dream I mentioned above still continues to baffle me.
You would find something called lucid dreaming quite simple Francesca (especially if you are able to be aware without effort in your dream!). Not everything within our dreams has meaning — like your ability to reference other dreams. I experience this as well time to time, but to me it doesn’t reflect anything overly meaningful, just my mind’s ability to recall other dreams. On the other hand, in your instance you might be recalling a specific dream because that dream has particular meaning to you which you haven’t yet uncovered.
Good luck!
Do you have methods you use for lucid dreaming?