LonerWolf

menu icon
go to homepage
  • Start Here
  • Shop
  • Subscribe
  • Free Tests
  • Contact
  • Membership
  • Course
  • Freebies
subscribe
search icon
Homepage link
  • Start Here
  • Shop
  • Subscribe
  • Free Tests
  • Contact
  • Membership
  • Course
  • Freebies
×
» Home » Turning Inwards

12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are ‘Selling Out’

by Aletheia Luna · Updated: Jul 13, 2024 · 22 Comments

Image of a woman burning a flower symbolic of losing authenticity and becoming a sell out
Authenticity image

Authenticity is a big buzzword these days.

“Be more authentic,” “honor your authenticity,” “find your authentic self” – we hear these phrases scattered all over the internet and spoken about everywhere.

But what does being authentic mean? And most importantly, how can we tell when we’re being inauthentic – also known as “selling out”?


Spiritual Wanderer Course image

Spiritual Wanderer Course:

Find your deepest path and purpose in life as a spiritual wanderer. In this immersive course, you get 3+ hours of content, workbooks, meditations, a premium test, and more!


Table of contents

  • What is Authenticity?
  • What is Inauthenticity (i.e. Selling Out)?
  • Examples of Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity
  • 12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are Selling Out
  • How to Stop Selling Out

What is Authenticity?

Authenticity is the state of simply being yourself, listening to who you really are, and making decisions that align with your beliefs and values. Authenticity at its core is about deeply accepting all that is ‘you’ and honoring it above ALL else.

What is Inauthenticity (i.e. Selling Out)?

Inauthenticity, on the other hand, is about placing external things above your genuine values, needs, dreams, and artistic vision. When we ‘sell ourselves out’ we are essentially placing all of the most important parts of ourselves up for auction. Instead of making decisions based on our genuine beliefs, values, and personal style, we make decisions based on how much money, attention, fame, or acceptance we will gain from other people.

Examples of Authenticity vs. Inauthenticity

Sometimes reading examples helps to flesh out abstract concepts like authenticity. Here are a few examples taken from real life:

An artist has been contacted by a large publishing agency. They would like to mass produce her art but on the one condition that she change the titles and descriptions. Deep down, the artist knows that the titles and descriptions of her art are intrinsic to her work. She refuses the publishing agencies offer. She has made an authentic choice.

A father sees how gifted at writing his teenage son is. But instead of encouraging his son to pursue a career in writing, the father pressures his son to study business and accounting because it is the “safe” choice. The son then dutifully studies business and accounting in university. Both father and son have made inauthentic decisions.

A life coach who specializes in online mentoring wants to grow her business. In order to get more clients, she focuses solely on what is trendy and popular and writes/talks about those topics. She begins to lose touch with her original vision. She has become inauthentic.

A company is pressured by investors and shareholders to change its philosophy in order to be more “hip,” appeal to the new generation and make more profit. The company refuses to compromise their philosophy. They have made an authentic decision.


Image of an eclipse

Shadow & Light Membership:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "Straight from the very first weekly email, this has been mind-blowingly powerful, the synchronicity and the on-vibe contents resonate uncannily with my soul’s current challenges." – Marie


12 Signs You’ve Lost Your Authenticity and Are Selling Out

We are not perfect people. Perfection is an illusion. Therefore, it is guaranteed that at some point in your life, you will make an inauthentic decision that compromises your values, vision, or beliefs. It’s just part of being human!

Although we can’t be perfect, we can strive to be more conscious. Self-awareness and honesty are the two key qualities we need to prevent ourselves from slipping into bad choices.

If you’re concerned that you might be “selling out,” read the signs below. They will help to either confirm or challenge your feelings:

  • Your top priority is making bucket loads of money
  • You’re obsessed with getting new followers, fans or subscribers (e.g. on social media)
  • You let others make decisions for you
  • You let others dictate who you are + who you ‘should’ be
  • You follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing
  • You always follow trends even if they don’t make sense to you
  • You reveal only what makes you look good
  • You copy other people and their style/lifestyle
  • You ignore your gut feelings and intuition
  • You wear a mask around others
  • You’re scared to be vulnerable and express your true feelings, thoughts, or values (which may be unpopular)
  • You make decisions based on how much attention, fame, money or acceptance you’ll receive rather than your genuine beliefs, values, or vision

Take a few thoughtful moments to make a serious assessment of the list above. Evaluate each point with an honest heart. How many can you relate to?

How to Stop Selling Out

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.

– B. Brown

I want to make a clear distinction here. There is a difference between selling yourself and selling out.

Selling yourself, in business and career fields, is about highlighting your genuine strengths and gifts, and offering those to the world. Selling out, on the other hand, is about compromising your personal integrity and letting external things drive you instead of internal qualities.

Also, not everyone has the liberty of making authentic decisions – but I want to emphasize that these situations are literally survival situations. For example, if a small business owner from an impoverished country was approached by a wealthy businessman who wanted to invest in and change his company, do you think it would be smart to decline? In certain environments and situations, making choices that go against our creative vision is essential in order to survive. But if you’re blessed to live in more fortunate circumstances where you’re not literally faced with starvation or anything else equally serious, then making authentic decisions is an intelligent way to live life.

Why is being authentic intelligent? Because you are listening to your heart and nurturing your soul. Money, fame, adoration, and approval from others will quench your ego’s need for safety and control – but that only lasts for so long. Soon, you will be left with a big, empty, gaping hole inside. The true joy, inner peace, and fulfillment come when you are living your truth and putting your essence out into the world.

So how do you let your essence – your passions, perspectives, and values – guide you? Here are some ideas; many of which I have discovered across my own authenticity journey:

1. Pay attention to how the decisions you make feel physically. Do you feel uncomfortable, heavy or dark sensations? Or does your body feel light and energized? Unlike the mind, the body cannot lie. Your body is the best lie detector out there. If you are about to make a decision that does not align with your values, your body will immediately feel and express that. Pay attention to warning signs such as heaviness in the heart area, tensed muscles, lightheadedness, cold shivers, and even physical cringing. Your physical warning signs will be unique to you (and can’t all be listed here), so search for them diligently.

Would you like to save this?

We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!

Your information will never be shared.


2. Get your priorities straight. At the end of the day, what will TRULY fulfill you? Think about this question very carefully. Will you ultimately be happy with truckloads of followers, clients, money, or a lavish lifestyle, without feeling like you’ve stayed true to yourself? Money is important, don’t get me wrong. But how much money do you actually need in order to be happy and feel fulfilled? You might also like to explore what your main driving forces are: are you driven by power, success, fame, wealth or your individual and unique style, talents, passions, visions, and desires to make an impact? Focus on nailing down your main motivating force and ask yourself, “Is this healthy? Is this aligned with who I truly am?”


3. Explore inauthentic areas in your life. Intentionally carve out time and space to assess your life – that might even mean just sitting here as you’re reading this article and doing a bit of quiet reflecting. Think about areas in your life that you’re unhappy with. Have you lost your authentic voice in that area … or is the issue something else altogether? This process takes honesty. Write down every choice, commitment, and behavior that feels out of alignment with your deepest passions, perspectives, and values.


4. Make the hard choices. Once you’ve identified the inauthentic areas of your life, it’s time to act. You will need to carve out a plan – possibly multiple plans – to regain a sense of personal integrity. Ask yourself questions such as, “What must absolutely go and what can stay?” “What is true to me and what is false?” “What options do I have?” “What is the potential loss and gain in this situation?” “What is the best scenario and worst scenario?” “What is my plan A and plan B?” “What am I clinging to for dear life?” Use a tool like journaling to help you get out your thoughts, feelings, and plans in a coherent, organized, and structured way.


5. Integrate the experience with self-compassion. Once you have made the necessary change, it’s time for reflection. How did it feel to make such big (or small) changes? What parts of you felt threatened? What did you find it easy to let go of and difficult to surrender? How does it feel to walk your own genuine path? How can you avoid making inauthentic decisions in the future? These are all the kind of vital questions you’ll benefit from asking and exploring. Most importantly, integration is about accepting our humanness and all the frailty that comes along with it. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself, and let your hard-earned lessons make you stronger and wiser.

If you’re interested in reading more about authenticity and getting extra guidance, I recommend reading these articles on the topic:

  • How to Be Your True Self in a Society That Worships Fakeness

***

In this loud, confusing, and overwhelming world, it can be easy to slip into the role of selling out your integrity and authenticity to gain power, fame, or money. We are bombarded with messages from the media, social media, our colleagues, and even our friends and family members to be anything other than what we are. But in order to live fulfilled and soul-driven lives, we need to put a firm foot down. We need to learn when to say “no” and forcefully draw the line and protect our integrity.

I hope this article has inspired you to preserve your artistic vision, inner values, or deeply held passions. What makes life beautiful is how unique and varied it is. I hope you share your own unique flavor of authenticity with the world!

What is your experience with selling out? Do you have any tips to share surrounding integrity and authenticity?

Finally, I’ll leave you with a final quote. Tell me in the comments, do you agree or disagree with this statement below?

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

– Andre Gide
If you need more help, we offer 3 powerful ways to guide you on your inner journey:

1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Feeling lost or uncertain about your path and purpose in life? Gain clarity and focus by learning about the five archetypes of awakening within you. Discover your deeper path and purpose using our in-depth psychospiritual map. Includes 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, and a premium test.

2. Shadow & Light Membership: Seeking ongoing support for your spiritual journey? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Deepen your self-love and receive personal support from us.

3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Ready to soul search and dive deep? Access our complete "essentials" collection of beloved journals and eBooks. Includes five enlightening eBooks and seven guided journals, plus two special bonuses to further illuminate your path.

More Turning Inwards

  • Ai generated image of a grim reaper in a whimsical forest looking pensive and wanting to offer intentional living advice
    Memento Mori: 3 Ways to Use Death As a Life Compass 
  • Ai generated image of a family standing in front of a mountain range symbolic of attachment styles
    How Your Attachment Style Influences Your Spiritual Path
  • Ai generated image of a mystical shamanic wolf that represents the wounded healer archetype
    5 Signs You’re a Wounded Healer
  • Ai generated image of a sad child sitting alone under a tree experiencing abandonment trauma
    What is Abandonment Trauma? Causes, Symptoms & How to Heal
1.6K shares
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • WhatsApp
  • Print

About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

(22) Comments

    Want to share your thoughts? Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Your email address will remain 100% private.

  1. AnonymousPerson says

    June 26, 2023 at 7:51 am

    I think another essential point of view to consider here is that sometimes you’re going to genuinely like the popular things, whether in something minor like what your past times are (Ex. Liking sports, liking make up, liking pop music etc.) or something major, like you actually wanting to follow the family business and take a safer path in life. I’m the opposite type of person myself considering security is not really my number one priority in life, but I do recognize that sometimes, people genuinely put security first, not because they’re pressured to, but that’s one of their own personal values as well. Sometimes some people just want an average life to get by, and people do the opposite of pressuring people to take a more “original,” “exciting,” or “less traditional” path to do things. I say this because there’s an equal pressure nowadays, especially with the young, to just like things that are “unique,” and if you like popular things or make popular decisions, then you’re a loser. But as long as that popular thing is harmless, something being popular in of itself doesn’t make it wrong. You can be the other extreme of wanting to be overly traditional than you’re comfortable with, but others also just feel too pressured to just “stand out” all the time, when the process of always trying to be “more unique” than other people, whether in fashion, business, relationships, leisure/travel, and so on is an exhausting thing. Sometimes you want to go common tourist spots most people go to, and not less well known spots in a place. Sometimes you really like movies and books everyone else knows about. If that makes you happy, why not? Whether it’s trying to keep up with the appearance of being traditional or “unique,” both are focused on appearances. Just focus on you then, hahaha.

    Reply
  2. James says

    October 21, 2022 at 4:14 am

    A quote that I picked up recently that really resonates with me was this…
    “The greatest human fear is the fear of being out of control”
    David Allen in ‘Getting control and creating space’
    The greatest paradox of all is perhaps that we have to let go of control in order to find it. “That is to say, that which we are seeking we already have.” A quote from the wisdom of Alan Watts.
    In stark contrast is an unnatural state of being that is detail-orientated before the vision.

    Reply
  3. Zack says

    November 19, 2021 at 6:12 pm

    So far everything I’ve read on here is beautifully true to me inside… I love it. And I’m very grateful you call out the ones using the external trappings of power. May have been a different article but was about wearing others power like a crown. Sometimes I do believe that that power could be a massive medicated bandage to keep their soul calm. It’s like woah you really need all of that? Yeah they’re pretty broken lol. I’ve been on of those. I try to never hold onto anything tho including surrender but I have felt those medicated wraps a few times. I love you. I love all of this. Absolutely wonderful. I’m very grateful I found this in time. I was beginning to fall even with a parachute lol. Have a lovely day and thank you again!

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      January 21, 2022 at 2:36 pm

      I’m glad this has helped you Zack. :)

      Reply
  4. Julia Strawn says

    September 18, 2021 at 8:26 am

    Currently in the beginning stages of creating a blog, and I do want it to be profitable. How do I balance out that without selling out?
    I won’t write about something that I don’t want to write about, I’ve made that clear to myself.

    Reply
« Older Comments

Popular Guides

  • Spiritual Awakening
  • Inner Child Work
  • Shadow Work
  • Dark Night of the Soul

Popular Tests

  • What Type of Spiritual Wanderer Are You?
  • What Is Your Subconscious Mind Hiding?
  • How Dominant is Your Shadow Self?
  • What Type of Inner Work Suits You?

Popular Offerings

  • Spiritual Wanderer Course
  • Shadow & Light Membership
  • The Spiritual Awakening Bundle
  • Inner Work Bundle

Stages of the Journey

  • Spiritual Calling
  • Resisting The Path
  • Finding Guidance
  • Starting The Journey
  • Turning Inwards
  • Facing The Darkness
  • Illumination
  • Traps & Pitfalls
  • Rebirth
  • Integration

Footer

↑ back to top

This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases, this means whenever you buy a book on Amazon from a link on this website, we receive a small percentage of its price at no extra cost to you.

 

Walk the path less traveled

Image of aletheia luna and mateo sol

Welcome! Our names are Aletheia Luna & Mateo Sol and we’re spiritual educators currently living in Perth, Western Australia. What's this website about? For spiritual rebels and outsiders, our mission is to help you dissolve the shadows that obscure your inner Light and find peace, love, and happiness. Unlike other spiritual spaces, lonerwolf focuses on approaching the spiritual awakening journey in a discerning and down-to-earth-way. Start here »

 

Let The Universe Choose My Message!

About

  • About us
  • Our Principles
  • Reposting Our Work?
  • Moon Phase Spiritual Meaning Calculator

Newsletter

  • Are you a spiritual wanderer or outsider? Feeling lost, confused, or alone? Sign Up for our weekly LonerWolf Howl newsletter for Soul-centered guidance – it’s free!

Whadjuk Noongar

  • We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land, the Whadjuk people of Noongar Boodjar. We recognize their continued connection to the land and waters of this beautiful place and acknowledge that they never ceded sovereignty. We respect all Whadjuk Elders both past and present, and any First Nations people.

 

Luna & Sol Pty Ltd © 2012 - 2025 LonerWolf.com. All Rights Reserved.

Privacy & Terms

1.6K shares