The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.
The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence itself.
Out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
How Dominant is Your Shadow Self?
The human shadow contains every thought, feeling, desire, and personality trait that we have rejected or suppressed. How dominant is yours?
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society.
We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are.
For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual wanderer’s journey toward self-actualization, spiritual illumination (or enlightenment), and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions.
It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave solitude and quiet, comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience, and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth – periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night, we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. This is known as the ‘Illumination‘ stage on the spiritual wanderer’s journey. In this period, we have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves thanks to the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing symptoms of loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Does it feel as though you’re cut off or totally disconnected from the Divine?
If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
What result did you get? Feel free to share your results in the comments as well as any reflections.
If you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear from you below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
This has happened to me throughout my life several times. It’s happening again. I never seem to get anywhere with it. Maybe I’m just depressed? I try to remain calm, ordered for those around me. I’m tired. In the past I have come out of these situations with an incredible artistic abilities. Woodwork, drawing, painting, playing guitar. Yet in the midst if this shit, seeking some sort of solace, nothing eases this deep pain and sorrow I feel.
All the questions on the test were spot on on how my Life is now. I am so relieved that I am not alone and that there is actually an end to THIS. The Dark Night of the Soul, huh? So that’s what THIS is… I just told a friend of mine some hours ago that I don’t recognize myself anymore and on this test is loss of identity! I was shocked! I just said those words! Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone indeed they is no coincidence’s in life
All the questions on the test were spot on on how my Life is now. I am so relieved that I am not alone and that there is actually an end to THIS. The Dark Night of the Soul, huh? So that’s what THIS is… I just told a friend of mine 15 minutes ago that I don’t recognize myself anymore and on this test is loss of identity! I was shocked! I just said those words! Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone in this and This too shall pass ❤️
Are you Anthony or Marsha… or the content creator trying to puff up comments? 😡
I am slowly coming out of my dark night. It hit me last year in August 2021. I was thinking to myself wow, I have a fiance, house, good paying job, friends and family and a sense of loving life. I was very comfortable. I was in the gym working out when it hit. Mid work out out of no where I thought to myself, what happens when we die? what’s the point of doing this if I’m going to die, nothing matters anymore, my life I built my friends and family will be all gone. All of my original meaning in life disappeared. I felt cold and cheated that this happened to me. I was crying lots and wasn’t in the best head space. I sat there for 3 months in that mindset and was miserable. I felt that I was missing something and started thinking to myself that maybe there is a higher power. I actually felt opened to it which before I thought people were fools for believing God. I got a Bible and started to read it and to me it just feels right. I feel like this was the start of my climb out of the hole I was in. After that I realized I was friends with people that I no longer agree with and I dropped them. I realized that my perfect life before wasn’t actually perfect and not what I actually wanted to do. I am now selling my house leaving my job in pursuit of the career that I actually want. And I now feel like I’m actually on a awakened path. I still haven’t felt happy like before and I get times of despair and meaningless but I no longer view it as negative as i now have a direction of where i need to put my life. I actually had never heard of a dark night of the soul until today. I found this by accident. And reading the symptoms I’ve had every single one of them. Thank you for showing up in my life when you did!
How are you doing now brother?
I have been disconnected from God for a while now. Not truly knowing what I believe. I feel lost and not sure who I am. Not sure if I’m going through the dark night. My Aunt died two weeks ago and ever since I’ve seen 11:11 on the clock daily. I’m hoping it’s her telling me something. I’m not even sure what a spiritual awakening would do for me because I don’t even know what I believe in. I’m very angry with my life, disconnected, and sad
I also had a dream of my mothers death before my Aunts death. What is happening?
Well I scored a 95.
Last night is when I realized I don’t know who I am anymore. I repress a lot cause I’m a single mother of 4 and I’m barley making it. I don’t like for my children to see me so angry all the time and sad and in pain. So I push it down. I’m at my braking point. I found y’all this morning cause I couldn’t sleep. As I’m reading through my tears I have learned a lot already and can’t wait to start my journey. I want to find me again.
I am a Virgo (August 25th.) I gave birth to boy/girl twins. My son died at 5 mos old from vax. My daughter died at 29 years old after husband strangled her but is a CI for cops so he’s protected. I have been struggling with so much loss throughout my life, but stayed positive, active and social. Until last night. I realized that the 11 11 I have been seeing since 1990 when my son died and picked up in frequency when daughter died in 2019. She 29 forever. She died 29 years after he died. 2+9= 11. She represents 11 and the time distance= 11. I am lost… I don’t understand anything. I have lost joy, peace, creativity, love and absolutely, me.
I have visions (Cherokee bloodline, I am told) I see the world humanity is creating and the beauty of it. I have been so excited about the future after these times. Now! Why encourage anyone about the future. I couldn’t even decipher 11 for 29 years. Why couldn’t I? Who am I?
I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m tired
I have been going through the Dark Night of the Soul for at least a decade and it is really painful. Nothing is going right for me. I am completely lost. I tried finding a mental health practitioner but no one in my insurance network is taking on new clients, so I have no choice but to try and cope on my own, which I’m not doing well at all. I have PTSD and severe depression, which is disabling. And now, after being on our state’s rent relief we are finally being evicted. I don’t think I’m going to recover.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough period Fenris. Sometimes it seems like everything comes at us at once. I’d recommend finding local spiritual communities, often they provide support groups or volunteers and don’t charge very much or at all. We have a local Buddhist sangha not too far away. Just make sure they’re trauma-informed if you decide to do some of their meditation practices. All the best, just remember no suffering lasts forever.
I’m not sure if I really going through” dark night of the soul ” moment right now, cause I am experiencing this type of feeling quiet a long time in the past and messed up my life. I even homeless for a while.Then I got diagnosed schizophrenia. After 4 years,I getting stable compare to past time, have job and living at parent home, but I still change jobs cause of sensitive human problem, and I will occasionally feeling lost from my “stable” life after watching some type of TV shows fiction and past family probems, feel want to go out being alone instead of be with family or stay safe at home at night. I often try to avoid staying in this state for too long or else I won’t be able to attend day to day work life and my goals, but the feeling of wanting to escape will emerge time to time.
I’m sorry to hear that Shien, I hope you find the inner peace that you’re after. Sometimes it’s a long journey of self-discovery, sometimes it’s an immediate insight into the nature of things.
All the best.
For me is a long walk since I was a child tough I ve been into so much trauma with severe depression harming hating myself I ve gone from darkness to rebirth I reinvented myself so many times.the past years for me were full of numbers,connections,deja vu ,an euphoric condition in which I felt part of all that it is.3 years ago I falled into a severe agitation depression,agony where my worst fears were exposed to me as a torture,my days were filled with horror same as the nights full of horrid nightmares sleep paralysis and crying full in blood faces,I ve been to the doctors but their meds revealed for what they are criminal mass killers and I wouldn’t recommend it to no one in my life…fast forward I get it slow by myself ,I faced my fears I ve beard my nightmares I hugged my darkness and it dissolved not into light but into nothingness I m that amazing nothing without any exist…I understand that all is temporary and impermanent and nothing will last forever,that our internal states may change from dark to light from calmness to restlessness we are indeed yang and yang …I do miss home that place where I belong and I miss that place since I came into this world….all became meaningless for me ,pleasure,career,relationship,all became nothing and everything life itself is nothing more than Maya the illusion of living
Hello, Over the years, I’ve appreciated many of your articles; you write excellent material. However, I’m having trouble with “The Dark Night of the Soul’s” terminology.
As a healer, I believe that a person’s “Soul” is linked to higher dimensional consciousness. This is the location of one’s higher self, which is surrounded by heavenly white/golden light and love. There isn’t any darkness here because everything is pure consciousness. A soul never becomes dark; people who have grown dark (evil) have separated themselves from their souls. As a result, they are frequently regarded as soulless.
When a person goes through the following scenarios, I believe it is more of an ego death. This, I believe, occurs when we let go of old programming that no longer resonates with us. We haven’t yet established a solid foundation for our new ideological system. In fact, we may not be aware of our true beliefs during this process.
Kind regards
Sherry
Hi Sherry, I think you might be misunderstanding “dark night of the soul.” This term isn’t referring to souls becoming darkened, but an experience in life that we go through. These two articles may help to clear things up: https://lonerwolf.com/the-dark-night-of-the-soul/ + https://lonerwolf.com/what-is-a-soul/ <3
I was under the impression it was called that because the “dark night” is brought about by a longing to reconnect with one’s soul. Forgive me if that isn’t correct.
I have been in this state since 2008. It was from years of religious abuse, a divorce and betrayal en masse by people I once believed were close friends. I am not the same person but more cynical and observant. I am more critical and sensitive to hypocrisy and class thought and sycophantic mobs. The anger and zeal I once had has now metastasized into begrudging apathy. I STOPPED singing. I have not prayed in a heartfelt manner in years. I am eerily content and patiently await some type of transformational experience in my son’s life that will allow me to hope whimsically once again.