The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.
The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence itself.
Out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society.
We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are.
For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual wanderer’s journey toward self-actualization, spiritual illumination (or enlightenment), and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions.
It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave solitude and quiet, comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience, and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth – periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night, we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. This is known as the ‘Illumination‘ stage on the spiritual wanderer’s journey. In this period, we have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves thanks to the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing symptoms of loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Does it feel as though you’re cut off or totally disconnected from the Divine?
If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
What result did you get? Feel free to share your results in the comments as well as any reflections.
If you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear from you below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
I got 50%. Does that mean I am in the process of the transformation and I have more work to do on myself. In the last year I have had many changes. Had to move because we could not afford the country home we were living in. Returned to the city in May. We moved in with my daughter and grandson He died of a drug overdose on June 22,2023. He was only 21. His mother and I found him the person who gave him the drug left him to die. Then August 26, 2023 my 94 year old Mother died, We were expecting it she had been ill for a few year. On August 30,2023 we welcomed a new baby girl my first great granddaughter. I have been questioning many things about live for the pas year. I have been reading and keep hearing in my head clean out or get rid of what no longer serves me. I know i am an empath have been listening to spiritual music . I do not watch the news any more all it is about war and very angry people. Personally I have never understood war, or peoples hatred for those… Read more »
My experience has been devastating to my life. I’ve cut off all friendships unwillingly not knowing that I’ve done so. I stopped using Facebook what made me lose touch with the on goings with friends and family. I started sleeping on the sofa and have been doing so for a year plus. This has effected my relationship with my partner. I was a keen musician now playing my guitar makes me upset for no reason at all. I can stay in a state of sadness for days after this. I lost interest in my job what I use to love. I used to be a stone Mason for Memorials and statues and preservation technician for historical buildings. Due to health reasons I can not continue this work anymore what has only added to this experience. Drugs have started to make it’s way into my life what has become a financial burden on me. I’ve kept all of this hidden from love ones except for my health issue. It is a spiritual death and it’s been hard and devastating for my soul. One night just recently I was laying in the dark with my eyes closed when all of a sudden… Read more »
I scored 90. I thought, with all the spiritual work and growth I have done the last 5 years, that this was impossible. Being a Heyoka Empath, this is even more profound! Well I suppose there is more work to be done then hey 🙂
My closest friends dog died recently and I’m HSP and it has been having a really big impact on me. I loved that dog. My friend has not even acknowledged this. I lashed out against my friend and resulted in him crying. I never meant to do that. I also have potentially severe anxiety and I have been dealing with it much more frequently and having more anxiety attacks. And suprisingly I got not DNOTS
I got most unlikely. I was surprised because this is the darkest moment in my life so far. I haave been dealing with so much
I scored 100%, and was not at all surprised. My life changed drastically starting in 2018, with separating then divorcing from then husband, youngest kiddo leaving the nest to go to college, quitting a career I’d had for 30+ years, starting my own business, relapsing from almost 10 years of sobriety, the pandemic, getting sober again (3 1/2 years again), moving to a new city from the home city I’d ever known, losing both parents within 2 months of each other, a dog with cancer and having to put her to sleep, and recently my ex husband passing away from acute alcoholism. Many other events in between. I am exhausted, and feel quite hopeless. Questioning all of my former ways of thinking, beliefs. Watching as our world deconstructs, and feeling helpless, lost, lonely, misunderstood, and a sadness that is palpable. I’m trying to change my thinking and understand that I am in a season of change. Really trying to embrace the dark within me, and understand its presence, befriend it, and know that I won’t feel like this forever. No small feat. Going through a dark night of the soul is not for the faint of heart.
Scored 85, but as prissy as it might sound, the test wasn’t necessary to confirm the experience. I do have a question, though. If you (Aletheia) were to state, say, the 8 most common characteristics of an individual post-Dark Night of the Soul, making their way into a more spiritually accurate, Self and Soul aligned from within and without, etc., what would those characteristics be? Maybe I haven’t poked around this website enough and there’s already an article on the same topic, but I figured to ask. Another question-if the Dark Night of the Soul works (in many ways) as an illuminating light on just how inaccurately most folks will behave, just how f’ed up the world is, what would you say is the “expected” opposite, after at least the first Dark Night of the Soul? I mean, I get the whole retreat-and-recluse idea-sounds kind of enticing-but (forgive me for the provocativeness of this statement now) what’s the point of seeing the world for what it is if all we’re going to do is hide from it? What’s the point of doing all of this work-and it is work, and it takes real energy, and it is easily misunderstood and… Read more »
I scored quite high, but with what I have gone through over the last four years, I have almost resigned to the fact that I will be doing dark soul for the rest of my life in some way or another. I am almost 60, so there is a lot to go through. I know for sure I will be dealing with my shadow for ever more. I have always been a person who has helped others whenever asked when I met my, now ex, wife she required a lot of attention. It wasn’t until 20 years later that I found out she was a Grandiose Narcissist. She was so good at it I never saw it. We were separated when I had a terrible accident, in which I died. It still took almost 9 more months for me to figure it out. That was the beginning of my DNOTS (Dark Night of the Soul). Hmmm, that almost spells donuts or maybe do nots. Lol Anyway, my life changed dramatically after the accident. My wife divorced me, she kept all of my stuff. Even stuff I had before we even met. Some very sentimental at that. That certainly makes one… Read more »
Help!!!!
I feel awful and getting really tired of life. Can anyone help?
all this negativity and bullshit in this society. The political and social situation…the overpopulation,destruction of this planet. I am getting sick and tired. I hate the matrix. I hate work it is a waste of time. Getting older is freaking me out. My mom getting old is scaring and depressing me. I am starting to feel disgusted by the masses/sheep. I wish i could live in nature (forest,mountains etc) without any human contact. Recently i started to have suicidal thoughts and that is alarming. I am getting tired of life and i am only in my 30s.
can anyone relate at least to some extent? Has anyone advice for me?
I’ve scored very high. I’ve been going through this for a few years now post separation. I’m currently not working and living a very simple existence. Im grateful that I moved out of the city to a rural spot in Northern California one month before Covid and also gave up alcohol at the same time. I was very blessed to be close to nature and started making art and spending extensive time in nature. While I loved living in California the cost was prohibited so I recently moved to New Mexico and happy to again be living close to nature in the desert and still making art and spending time outdoors. I try to focus on the positives although money is tight but it’s taught me to radically simplify and treasuring the solitude and reflection but also a very lost about what is next but staying positive that the universe will provide!