The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, isolating, and destabilizing experiences in life. Yet it is also a tremendous blessing in disguise.
As a primordial process of death and rebirth, the Dark Night of the Soul is a period in life where we are stripped of everything that is false.
The veils of illusion are torn from our eyes. We suddenly see the fragility of ourselves, other people, and existence itself.
Out of nowhere, we start asking big questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens after death?” and “Why was I born?”
The more we start to question our lives, the more deception we come across. We see the lies perpetuated by society.
We see the ways we have become wounded and behave dysfunctionally. And we may even notice a sense of emptiness inherent in our lives. Something feels missing. But what?
For many people, the Dark Night of the Soul heralds big life shifts. We may quit our jobs, leave our marriage, and seek out something more meaningful and aligned with who we truly are.
For some, the Dark Night is a call to begin the spiritual wanderer’s journey toward self-actualization, spiritual illumination (or enlightenment), and reconnecting with the Soul.
Dark Night of the Soul Questions
When people first enter this dark period of life, they often have many questions.
It can feel scary to lose interest in what you once valued and have your life turned upside down. Due to its destabilizing effect on our lives, the Dark Night is synonymous with what is known as the spiritual emergency.
Here are some commonly asked questions which might help to relax your mind a bit:
Most people who go through the Dark Night feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, anxiety, and depression. It’s common to crave solitude and quiet, comforting environments. While some describe the experience as a death and rebirth, others describe it as the feeling of disintegrating or falling through a void.
The Dark Night of the Soul is an experience that is unique to everyone (although it does share many common characteristics). For one person it may last a few months, for others, it may last a year or many years. Most importantly, please understand that this is a temporary experience, and many people can relate to what you’re experiencing. You’re not alone, although it might feel that way.
There are many ways to answer this question, but it’s crucial to understand first and foremost that the Dark Night is a natural and organic process. Just as trees go through a period of losing their leaves in Autumn/Winter, so too do we as humans (metaphorically speaking). We all go through cycles of death and rebirth – periods where we are full of life and energy and then periods where we need to slow down and go within. The Dark Night helps us to stop and tune into our inner selves. It is a process that goes hand-in-hand with the spiritual awakening process and finding our true life purpose.
Good question! Think of the Dark Night of the Soul as entering a prolonged Winter period. What comes after Winter? Spring! After the Dark Night, we emerge refreshed, renewed, and ready to walk our true life paths. This is known as the ‘Illumination‘ stage on the spiritual wanderer’s journey. In this period, we have gained clarity, wisdom, tenderness, and the ability to tune into ourselves thanks to the Dark Night period. These qualities we then bring into our lives. It’s quite common to start big projects, make powerful life changes, and explore our newly found gifts after the Dark Night of the Soul. It’s a blessing in disguise.
Dark Night of the Soul Test
Are you experiencing symptoms of loneliness, isolation, depression, and soul loss? Does it feel as though you’re cut off or totally disconnected from the Divine?
If so, you may be experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul. Take our free Dark Night of the Soul Test to confirm (or challenge) your suspicions below:
What result did you get? Feel free to share your results in the comments as well as any reflections.
If you need more in-depth guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for more help.
What has your experience during the Dark Night been like so far? I’d love to hear from you below. Your words might inspire or support someone else on this difficult journey.
I believe that my dark night began a long time ago as I experienced the loss of my father at 4 years old and am now 24. After this and growing up I always felt connected to something deeper and had extremely vivid dreams as a child up until I started taking birth control pills when I was 18. I went through an intense depression in high school where I felt confused by the expectations of this life and a desire to create art and learn at my own pace without restrictions. I believe I was went through an intense part of the dark night during college as I never felt like I belonged in the environment and fell into the trap of an abusive relationship. I believed I could heal his trauma but it only caused more for me, and I lost my spiritual connection at this point due to my confusion with why I could never find happiness in this world even though I did everything I was supposed to (go to college, get a boyfriend, get a job). I then got a job working a for an abusive boss but met an amazing individual who helped me… Read more »
Dear friend,
My Dark Night of the Soul is horrible. Distance from friends and family, from everything I ever loved. Disappointment – the worst kind. Feeling like I’ve lost everything I ever valued. Feeling evil. Feeling like everything I do has negative consequences, which I hope is not true. People shun me. I’m freefalling. I hope I’ll land safely.
But I’m piecing myself back together. Hoping for the best for the whole world.
My Dark Night has been very very hard. I’m lost. I felt this coming on for about 7 years, but now I’m right deep down in the middle of it. It’s quite painful and disturbing. I am constantly in “run away” mode. I don’t want my life the way it is, and I constantly feel like something huge is going to happen, I just have to listen really carefully so I don’t miss it. My husband is hurt and confused because I don’t want anything to do with him. My grown daughters are hurt and confused because I can barely focus on anything outside of the pain inside my soul. My whole life that I created up until now is nothing that interests me anymore. I walk miles on the weekends, I drive miles, I look constantly for escape, and never find it. My husband won’t let me do anything without making me feel like I am doing something wrong. I like my job because it gets me away from my life at home, but it also doesn’t feel like the right fit, even though I worked very hard toward this position for the last 10 years. Can’t run, can’t… Read more »
For something that I just started learning about, these articles help ease the thought that I was losing my mind. Not sure if I brought this on or it was time. I did start asking the big questions and actually questioned almost every decision I have ever made. Yes my memory is almost annoying. Yeah I have endured pain throughout my life but nothing compared to this experience. A voice kept saying it’s going to be great. Haven’t gotten to the great yet but my mind has calmed enough to function ok. In deep search for assistance at this time. Seen my family Dr. and of course diagnosed with ptsd, bipolar with episodes of multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia. That has passed but now high anxiety and low depression. Still a lot of unanswered questions but moving forward. Thank you for your tests and insight. For anyone else going through this it does get better and you do get answers. Tread lightly on the amount of information to give others, some, well most people don’t know how to explain or help. For me the universe reconnected me to my oldest sister that is experiencing the same thing so she has… Read more »
For something that I just started learning about, these articles help ease the thought that I was losing my mind. Not sure if I brought this on or it was time. I did start asking the big questions and actually questioned almost every decision I have ever made. Yes my memory is almost annoying. Yeah I have endured pain throughout my life but nothing compared to this experience. A voice kept saying it’s going to be great. Haven’t gotten to the great yet but my mind has calmed enough to function ok. In deep search for assistance at this time. Seen my family Dr. and of course diagnosed with ptsd, bipolar with episodes of multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia. That has passed but now high anxiety and low depression. Still a lot of unanswered questions but moving forward. Thank you for your tests and insight.
Thank you so much for all the valuable information and tests to identify things.
I like reading lots of your articles, I hope you will continue writing these.
Is it possible that you experience this or spiritual awakening more than once?
I’m curious whether the current pandemic situation caused way more people to experience the dark night of the soul?
great, i am a 100% going through The Dark Night of the Soul, i am not even surprised.