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» Home » Starting The Journey

What’s the Difference Between Fate and Destiny? (Don’t Get Them Confused!)

by Aletheia Luna · Updated: Sep 3, 2021 · 31 Comments

Image of a woman walking towards her destiny and leaving behind fate
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Are you living out your fate or creating your destiny?

Fate and destiny are both terms that tend to be used interchangeably in conversations. We hear people saying “He met his fate” and “It must be her destiny” – but have you ever wondered that the actual differences between fate and destiny are?

If you’re wanting to discover what path you’re on, I want to help you find a clear answer by the end of this article.


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Table of contents

  • What is Fate?
  • What is Destiny?
  • What’s the Difference Between Fate and Destiny? (Summarized)
  • Do We Have Control?
  • How to Fulfill Your Destiny

What is Fate?

“Fate” comes from the Latin word Fatum meaning “that which has been spoken.” Therefore, through the ages, fate has come to be associated with that which has been predetermined for our lives. Fate is based on the notion that there is a natural order in the Universe which cannot be changed, no matter how hard we try. The ancient Greeks and Romans even believed that three goddesses called Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos (or the “Three Fates”) had the role of determining a person’s ultimate life path.

Overall, fate tends to have pretty negative connotations. For example, people who experience misfortune often tend to believe that fate is the cause. Pessimistic terms such as “to seal one’s fate” and “a fate worse than death” all suggest that fate is something undesirable and negative.

Spiritually, fate is what occurs when we ignore our life calling and don’t actively work to reconnect with our souls or True Nature. When we leave our lives up to fate, we are basically handing over the reigns of control to other people and outside circumstances. When we don’t put any effort into consciously changing and evolving, what happens is fate.

What is Destiny?

Destiny has much more positive connotations than fate. Deriving from the Latin word Destinare, destiny means “that which has been firmly established.” While this definition also refers to the idea of predetermined events, destiny is something we can actively shape and alter. Unlike fate, there is an element of choice in destiny. Qualities such as courage, compassion, willpower, and patience can all help to change your destiny.

Spiritually, destiny is intimately connected to our ultimate life path. When we choose to step up and take responsibility for our lives, then we are actively shaping our destiny instead of leaving our lives to fate. Fulfilling our destiny involves consciously developing a connection to our deepest inner selves and maturing on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level.

What’s the Difference Between Fate and Destiny? (Summarized)

Fate is that which you cannot change. Destiny is that which you’re meant to do. While fate is what happens when you don’t take responsibility for your life, destiny is what happens when you commit to growing, learning, and taking chances. Being “destined for greatness” only comes through active and conscious decisions. But fate is what happens when you let other people and external circumstance dictate your life.

Do We Have Control?

Fate and destiny can be perceived as two sides of the same coin: both are predetermined. But the important thing to remember is that there are infinite possibilities in life. Fulfilling our destiny means consciously directing the stream of our lives in a certain direction. While subjectively (to the ego) this means that we have control and choice, objectively, there is no such thing as control or choice because the concept of “me” and “you” don’t exist (except in the mind).


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So the answer to the question “do we have control” is paradoxical: we do and we do not have control. However, while we are still operating on the level of having a sense of self (ego), it is vital that we proactively work to step up and take responsibility for our destiny.

How to Fulfill Your Destiny

As long as you are consciously seeking to learn, grow, and spiritually evolve, you are fulfilling your destiny. However, if you’re wanting to achieve your highest potential, you might benefit from the following tips:

  • Develop self-understanding. There are so many free resources out there (including this website) which can help you understand who you are better. Our free tests section is a great place to start.
  • Find out what you’re passionate about. What sets your soul on fire? What excites and thrills you? What do you admire and deeply enjoy doing? Make sure you keep doing whatever fulfills you.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people who inspire you. Critics and judgmental people often trigger huge amounts of self-doubt within us. Sometimes we actually listen to these unsupportive people who tell us how to “live our lives,” resulting in us choosing the wrong life path. Identify people in your life who are negative influences and remove them or reduce contact. Seek out kind, inspiring, and empathetic friends.
  • Permit yourself to move out of your comfort zone. Often, the biggest life changes occur when we make bold decisions. Sometimes fulfilling your destiny means getting a little bit uncomfortable or even making a terrifying leap of faith. Whatever the case, make sure you listen to your intuition and also use logic where necessary.
  • Identify limiting beliefs. When we believe our thoughts, we experience anger, insecurity, sadness, shame, and anxiety. The number one greatest block most people experience when trying to fulfill their destiny are core beliefs. Core beliefs are the main ideas we carry about ourselves which we were conditioned to believe since birth. Common core beliefs include “I am unworthy,” “I am stupid,” “I am a bad person,” and “I don’t deserve happiness.” Read more about core beliefs.
  • Ask other people for support. You don’t need to travel your journey alone. If you need some guidance, seek out help from a loved one, counselor or spiritual teacher. People who have walked this path before you can share a lot of wisdom which will benefit you greatly. I like to say a simple prayer asking for guidance when I need help. Prayer doesn’t have to be religious – you can pray to Life, the Universe, Spirit, the Mystery, or whatever moves you.
  • Make a list of all your strengths. This simple practice can help to direct your energy in a more sustainable and beneficial way.
  • Remember that setbacks are normal. There is no such thing as failure, only learning opportunities. If something doesn’t go your way, take a deep breath and realize that sometimes life wants us to move in a different direction.
  • Create goals. Goals are clearly defined milestones which can help you to get organized and prioritize what is most important to you.
  • Show kindness towards yourself. The more love and compassion you show towards yourself, the more you are naturally moving towards your ultimate destiny. Be mindful of negative and critical thoughts and let them pass without attaching to them.
  • Be yourself. There has never been a person exactly like you on the face of this planet, ever. Instead of imitating other people, explore what comes most naturally to you. There are too many people out there copycatting others. Be yourself. Explore your own style. Enjoy the peace that comes with not having to be someone you’re not.
  • Ask yourself, “What do I want the most in life?” and direct all of your attention towards fulfilling that goal. Do you want freedom, peace of mind, love? When all’s said and done, everything returns back to the desire for happiness. However, remember that chasing happiness actually creates suffering. Happiness can never be found in the past or future: it can only ever be found now, in the present moment. Therefore, to further refine the question, you might like to ask yourself “How can I enjoy life right now, in the present moment?”

Has this article helped you to discover the difference between fate and destiny? I hope the tips here have inspired you to actively shape your life path, rather than leaving it down to the forces of fate.

What are your thoughts about fate and destiny?

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

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  1. Enceladus says

    December 07, 2024 at 1:09 am

    Yep – did everything mentioned (and more) to get destiny moving and fate just slammed the door at every turn. Decades of it. Meanwhile, watched people with almost no effort or engagement somehow get destinies fulfilled. It’ll take a lot more than claims of ‘take charge’ to convince me that destiny is a choice.

    Reply
  2. Orville says

    July 14, 2023 at 4:39 pm

    It’s a mindset thing. Fate is when you feel you don’t shouldn’t or cannot do anything about something because things are meant to be a certain way. We alone are responsible for our mindset. Fate can be a result of passive mindset while destiny happens when we consciously take control of things. It’s the result of aggressive mindset. Change our mindset and we change the outcome. It’s the same thing, LIFE, seen differently because our perspectives are different because of our different vantage points. We need advice and guidance when we are stuck so that we do not get stuck in fatalistic thinking.. I pray that whoever reads this gets a different mindset. Let us always remember that God helps those who help themselves.. Fate and destiny is all about how our beliefs are placed…

    Reply
  3. AnonymousPerson says

    July 12, 2023 at 5:46 am

    The whole conversation of fate and destiny reminds me of one of the first episodes of the Owl House, a cartoon about a girl accidentally ending up in a magical spooky themed world. Trying to parody Harry Potter a bit (as a lot of the jokes on the cartoon is just poking fun at Harry Potter) is that there was an episode where Luz, the main character, got caught up into a journey where she was meant to become a chosen one, a legendary heroine by the prophecy, and about to go into an adventure. Eda, the witch she ended up living with while stuck in this world, and King, a mini 8 year old dragon, tried to tell her it was just another scam in this spooky and cynical magical world. But she didn’t listen, and got caught into a short magical adventure where she was about to be eaten by a monster, only for Eda and King to come to save her. Luz then, was very disappointed she didn’t become the chosen one like all the magical books she read growing up then. And I don’t remember what Eda said to her exactly, but it went like this. “Oh Luz. You don’t have to be the chosen one. You can choose yourself to be the hero, and forge your own destiny. You don’t need some crazy prophecy or scam to be the chosen one. Just choose yourself.” And that was one of the great introductions to the subversion tropes of fantasy tropes in the Owl House.

    Reply
  4. Ehuwa Jesutofunmi says

    June 12, 2023 at 1:46 am

    It’s help allot, after reading this passage I started crying

    Reply
  5. Lily the Estrella Johnson says

    June 01, 2023 at 2:00 am

    Hi there my fellow stargazers,

    I need guidance from fate on what direction my life is taking. I am trying to take control of my destiny, but it feels like fate is blocking me on every path. I turned to the stars, but didn’t find any answers. What should I do next?

    -Love to every creature,
    Lily the Estrella

    Reply
  6. Kitty says

    January 28, 2023 at 11:48 pm

    I really enjoyed this article love from 🇲🇾

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      May 24, 2023 at 3:41 pm

      Thanks Kitty!

      Reply
  7. Jamiel says

    December 25, 2020 at 5:18 am

    Dear Luna & Sol,
    After reading this article I am still unclear. I am still doubtful there is any way to turn around to create my destiny. I just feel stuck. This article does a great job explaining what they are, but I am still left unsure to pinpoint where I am currently.

    Is there any way I can pinpoint if fate is close and if so, can I change direction towards destiny?

    Maybe I don’t understand the article well?

    Some clarification would be nice. Thank you! :)

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      September 17, 2021 at 11:32 am

      “Is there any way I can pinpoint if fate is close and if so, can I change direction towards destiny?” – I’m not sure I quite understand this question. Perhaps you could explain a little more Jamiel? Maybe then I can be of assistance.

      Reply
      • Jamiel says

        May 24, 2023 at 5:26 am

        Hey Aletheia!

        Yes, I can. I am really asking that if I am living my fate and I realized it and its negative, can I change direction at any time? Is there still time for me to live my highest and best destiny? That is my question.

        I am hoping that God will give me more chances to get back on track. I just do not want to be a lost cause. I am a lost soul most of the time. Loosing touch with my path and purpose is scary and I feel like maybe I missed my chances.

        Does that make sense?

        Reply
        • Aletheia Luna says

          May 24, 2023 at 3:47 pm

          Hi Jamiel,

          Thanks for clarifying.
          What you’ve written here reminds me of the famous quote by Carl Jung who writes:

          “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.

          It’s normal for life to have its ups and downs. I’ve recently gone through a big ‘down’ period myself, and I try to see it as a natural part of life. But if life feels like a non-stop chaotic experience, with very few highs or plateau periods, I’d say that the shadow (the hidden inner blockages) is quite strong and active. What needs to be done, then, is self-love, inner child work, and shadow work.

          Working with a therapist to help you understand certain unhelpful mental patterns (called ‘cognitive distortions’) will be important as well.

          I hope this helps. Please remember that you’ve never lost your chance because the beauty and magic of life always happens right here, right now 💜

          Reply
          • Jamiel says

            May 24, 2023 at 6:07 pm

            Thanks Luna! This helps and feels empowering.

            I am really struggling and I think I can do a little bit of shadow work now since it feels like its a good time. Inner child healing for sure!

            💚

    • Muffy says

      February 15, 2023 at 1:26 am

      Let me break this down in a simple and Biblical narrative.
      Destiny is what you don’t have power of choice over. It was predetermined as you are coming to planet earth. So Destiny is Divine. No wonder the Bible says everything He created was good.

      Fate on the other hand is what you met/become as you are living on planet earth. But it’s not fix nor constant. You have the power of choice either to let it be or change the situation. For example someone is poor and he said it is his fate because his parent are poor. You can choose to do things differently from the way your parent lived their lives and be better off.
      Destiny is beyond us while Fate can be corrected if we make a move and push further.

      Muffy.

      Reply
  8. Carla says

    September 05, 2019 at 10:07 am

    Thank-you, i enjoyed this article very much; quite helpful.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      September 17, 2021 at 11:32 am

      ♡

      Reply
    • Atiya Rasheed says

      July 07, 2022 at 9:38 pm

      Yeah I would love to tell you that the article is Good Whatever it might be fate or destiny Everything happens with God’s wish and We canno change anything. Reason is nothing is in our hands . Be it Fate or Destiny , we have to accept the reality of Life whatever it might be .

      Reply
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