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ยป Home ยป Turning Inwards

Crying Therapy: How to Stop Being an Emotionally Repressed Person

by Aletheia Luna ยท Updated: Dec 24, 2020 ยท 43 Comments

Crying Therapy image

Growing up, I rarely saw my parents cry.

I’ve never once seen my father cry, and have only ever seen my mother cry a handful of times.ย  But you know, I’m not alone in these observations.ย  Many of you would have grown up with very stoic parents like myself, rarely seeing tears of joy or happiness emerge from their eyes.

But of what consequence is all of this?ย  I’m writing this article because I’m on a quest, a quest to make crying something normal, commonplace and acceptable in my life.


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Whether because of parental, cultural or societal influence, crying has become something swept deftly “underneath the mat”.ย  Crying, to many of us is uncomfortable, awkward and even embarrassing.ย  It signifies physical weakness in men, and emotional fragility in women.

But what is the true weakness here?ย  True weakness isn’t acknowledging your emotions by crying: it’s hiding from them.

Are You Emotionally Repressed?

“The saddest thing is that when you cry, I can hear that you’re still trying to repress your emotions”.ย  These were the words of Sol, after a quiet, turbulent struggle with my emotions, resulting in hot tears and repressed sobs recently.

“Crying is what makes you human.ย  But you’re building all of these emotions up until you explode … Promise me that you’ll cry more”.ย  Feeling immensely relieved from the inner weight I was carrying in me, I agreed to try, every day.ย  So what now?ย  Now I’m trying to relearn how to cry.ย  Now I’m trying to let my emotions flow freely, unrepressed and unhindered, because there’s nothing admirable about being an emotionally repressed person.

If anything, emotionally repressed people create the most strife in the world.ย  Think of the effects that sexual repression has on people and society, and you’ll be given some idea of the havoc that unacknowledged feelings wreak.ย  Even in my own relationships emotional repression has built many mounds out of molehills.ย  Think: emotional and physical disconnection, moodiness, jealousy, and unnecessary drama over the smallest things.

But how can you tell whether you’re an emotionally repressed person who is out of touch with their feelings?ย  Here are some clues:

  • Difficulty in crying freely and easily.
  • Difficulty in laughing heartily.
  • Difficulty identifying emotions.
  • Difficulty expressing how one feels.
  • Difficulty opening up to people emotionally.
  • Secrecy.ย  Not sharing very much about your thoughts, opinions or feelings with others.
  • Unexplainable moodiness, melancholy or glumness.
  • Inability to express strong emotions like anger or sadness.
  • Bottling emotions up inside and imploding.

If you share more than a couple of these traits, chances are that you’ve lost touch with your emotions by burying them away.


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The Importance of Letting it All Out

Question: Why are (most) Latino’s so vibrant and charismatic?

Answer:ย  because they’re in touch with their emotions.

Whether it’s joy, gratitude, anger, sadness, love or lust, Latino cultures in particular know how to express themselves.ย  Their raw, rustic and untamed connection with their bodies and hearts is exactly why I respect them so much.

Even the meek and respectful Japanese have their way of “letting it all out”.ย  According to a recent article published in the UK Independent, Japanese businessmen and women have taken to attending sad, weepy movies just to shed a few tears.ย  The Japanese call it the “crying boom”, signifying the rise in popularity of expressing emotions.

Trend or not, to acknowledge our feelings through crying is an intelligent way of living life.ย  After all, why on earth would we have the ability to shed tears if it served no purpose?ย  Crying, just like laughing, is essential for our well being.ย  But how can we laugh when we’re so jam-packed full of dark and miserable emotions?

We need to learn how to cry before we learn how to laugh.ย  You can’t laugh away your negative emotions.ย  They’re still going to be there, underneath, even if they are diluted.

Crying is natures way of relieving our ‘tensions’ and our burdens.ย  It doesn’t make our problems disappear, no.ย  But it helps us to deal with our problems in a more level-headed way.ย  In essence, crying helps us to live more lively and self-understanding lives.

It’s essential to acknowledge and express our emotions whenย learning how to reconnect with our souls.

Whether you’re male or female, young or old, I encourage you to put on a sad movie today … and let it all out.

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

(43) Comments

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  1. Kizzy Barlow says

    January 15, 2016 at 4:10 am

    Btw, how can you teach yourself to cry? Is it possible to forget how to cry? If so, how can I cry? People say I don’t cry like I should/enough? Or get angry enough or even talk about my pain. How can I do that sfter I’ve practically trained myself not to? Also how can I retrain my thinking after finding out my entire belief system was a lie?? I can see colors, mirrors shake and clear like vibrations? But I can’t involve. Why can’t I be a dreamer and why can’t I see them fully or join them in involvement??

    Reply
  2. Kizzy Barlow says

    January 15, 2016 at 4:01 am

    I really appreciate you guys for helping me. I really wish I knew who I was but I have a feeling if I uttered a word of what was happening, no one would believe me. I feel energy/essence?? But I can’t see anyone. There is a person/people who are helping me, but I don’t really know him/them like I want to. This is pretty much all me, but I don’t exactly want to repress anything anymore. I have a feeling if I can open myeelf up more and get over my insecurities and fear of the past ( whatever it might be ) I can understand this person ( and people ) and possibly fix a broken heart and a person who says they love me, but shouldn’t. Can you tell me how to open up to this person more? I want to know more about them, but I feel that I’m being left in the dsrk and treated like a child all the damn time. How can I get them to open up so I can understand how to handle being an empath now that I know exactly why I am the way I am and why I always avoid confrontation, or become aggressive or moody for no damn reason whatsoever and why I don’t exactly like gigantic crowds ect ect ect? How can I become a good listener and understand this person more so that I can feel their pain as well?

    Reply
  3. Tash says

    December 04, 2015 at 6:04 am

    Rock music, intense concerts, screaming and jumping, singing at the top of your lungs to your favorite songs works too ;)

    Reply
    • valentine says

      July 31, 2016 at 2:41 am

      I have been going to concerts like every weekend because of this same reason! It does wonders and you get to see your favorite bands!

      Reply
  4. Nathan Krebs says

    November 26, 2015 at 3:16 am

    I don’t know if this article is still being watched by the author’s or not, but I do have something I need help with. *sighs* I was physically, mentally, and emotionally abused by my father from when I was 5, up until I was 15. My parents had shared custody, and I stayed with my dad because my mom couldn’t afford to keep me while trying to pay for housing for her and my grandma (who now lives with us again). She was allowed to come and see me on the weekends, and often times could take me out to dinner on Wednesdays.
    My life with my dad was much like hell… if hell has 7 layers, I was on the 14th. When it came to physical abuse, it was anywhere from punching me in the stomach then kicking me when I was down (fracturing a rib in the process, which went untreated), to holding me off the ground by my throat, to just normal spankings, only using a wooden plank about two feet long, about 4 inches wide(maybe longer, it was a long time ago), and about 1.5 inches thick.
    The mental abuse, while some might say is normal…. was stuff like making me put all of my toys in a garbage bag, going outside, then throwing them in the large garbage can outside. Taking away my books (I’m an avid reader, and even was back then), he even burned a few. I loved playing games, watching tv, and going outside back then… he would put me on restriction and wouldn’t let me do any of those things, so I often had no social life outside of the house… (not even in school, since I was probably one of the most made-fun-of kids there).
    Being diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar, Asperger’s Syndrome (minor case), social anxiety, and asthma, has me on a lot of meds.. sometimes he would even not let me take my meds.. The emotional abuse was of course the worst, resulting in my inability to cry and genuinely laugh. He’s called me any name he could think of, and often times called me worthless, and that I would never amount to anything, that nobody would want me, along with crybaby, spineless, wimp, etc. He used to time me on how fast it took for me to get ready for school, and said that if I didn’t get ready fast enough, I’d have to just go in whatever I was wearing at the time… a couple times I was literally in only my underwear, sitting in class during middle school, no shoes, no socks, just underwear.
    I’m a strange mix of both a physically and emotionally receptive empath, with being a precognitive empath being the main part of it, since I often have dreams of events that happen anywhere between a week, a month, a few months, and sometimes up to about 9 years, which is my longest recorded dream.. I still find it odd how the dreams seem to predict my actions before I decide to do them, even with the information the dream gave me. Though I have noticed that as of late, I have been having these dreams more and more often. I used to only get them maybe once every few months, but over the past couple years, they’ve become more and more often… sometimes the dreams only being a week or two apart from each other. The events IN the dreams aren’t becoming closer, just the dreams themselves. I don’t know if that just means that I’m beginning to subconsciously accept my being an empath, or something like that… but now I’m rambling and should stop, lol. Thanks for reading this ridiculously long and obviously incomplete life story of mine, and I hope somebody will at least try to understand what I’m trying to ask for..

    Reply
  5. Stephanie Beaton says

    November 15, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    I have been through a lot of psychical and sexual trauma growing up when I was 12-13. I am now 26 and have held all my emotions and pain in for so long where I have come to the point where I can’t cry anymore 13 years later after all the abuse & trauma I still can’t cry. Anyone who has any ideas or ways to help me let out my emotions so I can cry again and let all this pain finally go.

    Reply
  6. Deb says

    November 03, 2015 at 6:08 am

    Crying is good for headaches too.

    Reply
  7. mrblack says

    November 03, 2015 at 5:10 am

    I like your articles, but can’t help but feel they seem to focus on negative things, rather than positive. My 2 cents. I just prefer happy, positively focused things. I.e., “How to Be an Emotionally Whole Person” instead of how to stop feeling like this picture of the girl, which I most certainly do not. My two cents.

    Reply
  8. Emily Hunt says

    October 27, 2015 at 7:05 am

    I thought I already cried a lot before I found this article. Now that I think about it I only cry maybe three times a month. I never see anyone else in my family cry, except for when it’s socially acceptable like at funerals or celebrations. Any time I do cry, it feels like I’m unleashing an angry beast. I will work on letting my feelings out more.

    Reply
  9. Emily .. says

    September 24, 2015 at 4:18 am

    Recently I’ve been told that I’ve cried too much. it really hurts because I’ve been through a lot of stuff in my life that the people I’m around know about but yet they still judge me. It’s even gone so far that one of my friends mother and father talked behind my back to my friend about me crying and said how it wasn’t right. I don’t think I’m really sure what I should do. should I embrace my crying , or just run to the bathroom hide my self and cry.

    Reply
    • looney luna says

      February 16, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      just embrace the crying. i have problems with crying and letting out my emotions. it is much better for you to release everything from crying. don’t worry about what people say because the only people worth getting upset over are the ones who take the time to get to know and care for you.

      Reply
  10. Evangeline says

    May 30, 2015 at 7:48 am

    magnificent post, very informative. I ponder why the opposite specialists of
    this sector don’t notice this. You should continue your writing.
    I am sure, you have a great readers’ base already!

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      June 01, 2015 at 12:01 pm

      That means a lot to me, thank you Evangeline. “Crying therapy” is not very popular because it’s not feel-good. … Who wants to deliberately cry? The thought can seem absurd to some people, but the truth is that it is such a profoundly transformative practice.

      Reply
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