If you have felt depressed for a long period of time you know precisely what it feels like; it is as though life has slowed down, lost its vibrancy and color and sense of expansiveness. If you are depressed you might feel spiritless as if you are numb, hollow and empty inside and each waking moment makes you feel more and more diminished rather than expanded.
Feeling depressed makes us lose touch with the joy of living and throughout our lives we all, to some extent, experience this loss. While some of us get back in touch with the vibrancy of living, others of us continue to struggle – mostly against ourselves.
When I went through my own heavy bout of depression I was completely unaware at the time that the reason why I felt so oppressed was not because of other people victimizing me or life punishing me, but rather the endless barrage of toxic self-talk, festering core beliefs and deep unresolved core wounds inside that were making my life a living hell.
I had created a prison within my mind full of limiting beliefs about myself (“I am bad,” “I deserve to be punished,” “I’m worthless”), endless self-put-downs (“You can’t do anything right,” “You are such a mess,” “You’re a loser”) and perpetual judgments about others (“People can’t be trusted,” “People are out to get me,” “No one else is like me or can understand me”).
Before I knew it, life truly felt like a jail cell. But even despite the overwhelming oppressive weight of everyday life I knew, deep down, that there was something “much more” to life. Slowly, as I began to explore this elusive “something else” I came to discover different ways of expanding my very limited, constricted and narrow sense of self, and with these discoveries came my ultimate conclusion: what “we” think “we” are is such a lie and delusion. We are so much bigger than what we ever imagined.
But I will leave you to discover the details of this realization for yourself.
In the meantime, you may, or may not find the following practices helpful – but I hope they are. Even if they aren’t I hope they expand your sense of possibility:
1. Reflect on the Sky
The trap that the depressed person falls into is living a very insular life. When you go outside and stare up at the endless blue expanse above, a part of your mind expands as well. Suddenly your problems don’t seem so big or end-of-the-world. There is something particularly mystical about the sky which I have always loved and continue to admire. So the next time there is a clear (or partly cloudy) day, go and sit in a chair, on a bench or simply lie down somewhere comfortable and let yourself be lost in the world above.
2. Go “Forest Bathing” (Shinrin Yoku)
I have written about this topic before. The Japanese believe that taking a regular stroll in the forest is very beneficial for ones well-being. Forest bathing is said to increase feelings of calmness and joy while decreasing depression, anxiety and blood pressure. It is also said to increase mental concentration while lowering blood sugar levels. Personally, I don’t live near a woodland or forest, but I do live near a big park that helps me to shake off any stuffy, constricted feelings inside. Give it a try, even if it means pacing outside in your backyard.
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3. Watch a Documentary About Other People/Places/Times
Depression tends to trick us into feeling that we are at the center of everything. An interesting way to break through this illusion is to watch documentaries about completely alien people and places. Some of the best ever documentaries that I have watched include Samsara (2011), Baraka (1992), Life in a Day (2011) and Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey (2014). There are so many free documentaries out there about different places, people, cultures and outer space, so take your pick. You might notice your sense of self expanding during and after watching them.
4. Listen to Ambient, “Trippy” Music
In my darker years I would listen to a lot of heavy metal and darkwave music. Although it was an outlet for the unhappiness I felt and made me feel “almost understood,” it nevertheless contributed to my melancholy and inner angst, paradoxically releasing it but building it up at the same time. Eventually, as I began to explore different ways of expanding my mind and sense of self, I stumbled across the ambient genre of music. I’ve gone through a number of different styles of ambient music throughout the years, but I would recommend listening to any type of nature sound (forest, ocean, rain, fire) or any instrument used in music therapy (take a look at this article for inspiration). Other artists I love listening to include Deuter, Enya, Balmorhea, Deep Forest and Lisa Gerrard.
5. Try Holotropic Breathwork
Originally developed by psychiatrist Stanislav Grof, holotropic breathwork is a natural way of inducing an altered state of conscious, utilizing rhythmic and accelerated breathing with evocative music (usually drums beating). First developed in the 1970’s, holotropic breathwork is said to help your psyche repair itself through a profound state of consciousness that can usually be reached through deep meditation or psychedelic drugs. As Grof explains in his book Psychology of the Future, ” … in holotropic states, we can transcend the narrow boundaries of the body ego and reclaim our full identity.” Even if you don’t opt to explore holotropic breathwork, focusing on your breathing is another simple technique I have found to effectively ground yourself in the present moment, helping to release you from the confines of your mind.
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There are so many ways to expand your consciousness when feeling depressed, and this article lists only a few of the main techniques I used to interrupt my cycles of misery. It is likely that on your own path of healing you will stumble across many other techniques. I hope that you can take the time to share any of your own discoveries with us below!
You are a real and valued discovery and I try to practice the principles taught in your lessons even if they are painful and difficult. Your articles are anything but ‘feel good’. This suits me fine because I find feel good shallow and superficial and ultimately ineffective. I have been receiving your mailings for about a year and at time of writing I feel I am being ripped apart. For the past four months I have had the same headache , feelings of nausea and dizziness though medical tests (blood test and head scan )have revealed nothing physically amiss. This has not been a comfortable state of living to be in but I am wondering if I have connected to long standing deep rooted received abuse and suppressed negative memories which your lessons have helped me to connect to and possibly shift. Does this sound likely to you?
I feel your teachings are leading me to my soul’s longing. Thank you.
Dear Aletheia,
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Gazing at the sky and taking a walk in the nature always lift me up. However what got me out of a recent bout of depression was the ” Laughing Meditation “, though it seemed so artificial at the beginning. After 10 days of forceful laughing, I came out of the depression laughing at myself !! It was truly amazing !!!
Laughing meditation is an excellent recommendation and I’m so glad it has worked for you. Thank you for recommending it Inusha!
My pleasure dear Luna !! You inspire me a lot !! Thank you <3
Hi Luna.
You mentioned you used to listen to a lot of heavy metal and darkwave music. I am particularly interested in the part about using it as an outlet, but having it contribute to your inner angst at the same time.
I am wondering if you would be able to write up an article that expands on this, as I feel I am currently going through a similar phase. Over the past couple of years I’ve been listening to an increasing amount of metal music. As a HSP I still can’t stand the heavier stuff like death metal, but am okay with the lower end stuff like folk metal or metal music that is mostly instrumental.
To a lesser extent I have also started listening to some Darkwave bands for the past year, although I didn’t understand what the Darkwave genre actually was until about a month ago.
I thought it was serving as a positive outlet for some of my more depressive thoughts, but the above article and some of the other comments here have opened my eyes to the possibility that it might actually be having a detrimental effect instead.
Any help would be very much appreciated.
Thanks.
Dan.
Interesting idea Dan. I’d recommend finding other outlets, such as writing down your thoughts and feelings, or creatively expressing them somehow. Dark music can be a great outlet, but it does tend to reinforce depression. I hope to explore this more in the future.
I have property next to a mountain forestforest in Colorado where I regularly walk with my wife and dogs. It’s like ctrl, at, delete… It completely resets my soul.
Was just holding my dog and giving her hugs and kisses and telling her I love her when I realized that I’d been doing this for so long that I’d forgotten how much she’s helped me over the years. I got her 6 years ago when I was seriously depressed and in so much pain that I almost ended up in a wheel chair. I’m healed now and my dog was a big part of that. I can actually feel positive energy firing off in my head when I hold her and just love on her. It’s kind of like getting high. :)
Animals are a brilliant suggestion Andi! Animals, dogs especially, open the heart to giving and receiving love. The most beautiful thing is that a dog’s love is unconditional.
Thank you for sharing this experience with us here — you are both fortunate to have each other!
Excellent article. I noticed what heavy metal was doing to my head as well. I love listening to rain and thunder with wolf howls. The beach totally centers me; love going there early in the morning. And the bit about documentaries is right on. Whenever you take your attention off yourself and see what other people deal with it really gives you some perspective. Never heard of Holotropic Breathwork however I will definitely check it out. Thank you.
Another pleasantly executed article, Luna. Thank you for writing this one. I was hoping you and Sol would touch more on depression, seeing as it’s such a commonly widespread issue with today’s society. :)
It’s funny how you mention listening to ambient music, because as of 2 weeks ago I started listening to this genre, and I’ve definitely felt better because of it. I really like Reiki Zen meditation and nature/ocean wave type mixes, they really recharge my batteries after a long, noisy day. I can also very much relate to you about the metal music paradox; it’s like, I love it, but at the same time I know it sort of stirs up depressive feelings in me. I don’t think it’s the music itself that depresses me, I think it’s just the current mental state I’m in when listening to it that brings those feelings back to surface. I’m always thinking to myself; “what’s the soundtrack to my life going to be like today? or in the next 5 years?”. It’s almost as if i’m worried that I can never listen to enough music in a given day, haha. I’m the type of person who almost always has their headphones on. The sound isolating ear cup kind too, so I can block out the noise pollution of reality as much as possible. It’s also one of the best ways to avoid talking to strange people on my daily public transit commute (because lord knows there’s just dozens of weirdos around me at all times), haha.
Reflecting on the sky and forest bathing are also two very underrated practices of stress relief. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that people (including myself) live in these big bustling cities and have little to no access to quiet nature. Even the local beach is a poor option, with all the boats and planes constantly roving by.
One day I really want to move to a place where I can call the forest my backyard again, like when I was a kid. Things were so simple back then..
Thank you Adrian. :)
I hope the ambient music recommendations I made can widen your music taste/experience. One thing I love doing the most (like the granny I am) is sitting back on my couch, blanket covering me, listening to rain and storm recordings reading a book. It lifts the weight of a heavy day off you (although some would raise an eyebrow at the music choice).
We’ve written a number of articles on depression before, so this article didn’t mean to go into much depth. Others include: https://lonerwolf.com/anxiety-and-depression/ https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-relieve-depression/ https://lonerwolf.com/smiling-depression/ and https://lonerwolf.com/suicide/ So take your pick.
Thanks for the comment.
Thank you for this wonderful post.
My pleasure Earl — I’m glad you could benefit from it!
Thank you dear Aletheia!
– soak into a bubble bath
– affirmation slideshow
– dance away
– journaling
ChristinaW
Christina, thanks for the ideas!
Loreena McKennitt is another brilliant artist I would recommend for such things- the best way to describe her would probably be a mix of ‘world’ and ‘new age’ music. She combines sounds from all over the globe- from the fairy tale sounds of her native celtic culture to the melancholic yet mystical sounds of the middle east, her music will fill you with awe and longing at the same time. Give it a try!
(PS- A good word for this sort of longing is ‘saudade’- it’s a Portuguese word without a direct translation into English, because it encompasses so many types of feelings… ‘longing’, ‘yearning’ and ‘nostalgia’ are all probably the closest interpretations, but actually ‘saudade’ can be for something you’ve never even experienced or met before! It can be for people/ places/ feelings/ concepts, hence why it captures what expanding your consciousness like this must feel like- it’s that sense of awe at what you’ve missed in life, but also what is ahead of you too) :)
Thank you for the recommendation! I have listened to Loreena before, especially in my younger years, and I especially love her song “The Mystic’s Dream.” Forgot to mention her though in this article.
Beautiful word as well. It is fascinating how words from other cultures can capture such delicate emotions and concepts that aren’t expressed in the English language!