21 Signs You’re a Lightworker on This Planet

couldn’t agree more.

The relativistic nature of perception and reality is pointing to “something”. The question is do we want to see what it is saying? Do you ever feel that great current running below everything?

I had a dream when I was child, and staying at camp in the mountains, and it will always stay with me. I found myself looking at a man and woman, they were in the form of my aunt and uncle, and initially I felt very comfortable about them. They stood at the entrance to their house just inside the doorway, somewhat glued to the spot it seemed. The air seemed different around them though, as if it was sharper and yet there was a type of unreality about them. They asked me if I would go with them, I hesitated, there was something peculiar about them and their smiles and eyes and yet I could not place it and the thought became confused in my mind after a moment, mind you i was around 10 at this time. So they asked me again and I said “yes”.

With no break in the continuity I found myself in a cartoonishly strange version of a hot air balloon, we were rising, rising into thinner and thinner air. I felt every moment that as we rose higher the world became more unreal. I became absolutely terrified, frozen really, I believed the balloon would never stop rising, that we would end up in space, or that I would disappear into unreality…Now the visages of my aunt and uncle changed, they became absolutely sinister, I realized in a moment of terrible recognition that they were “not” my aunt and uncle, but something else entirely. Their eyes looked hungry and they laughed in a way that still gives me chills to think about. They appeared stuck in time, but glowed and effervesced “POWER”. I told them I was scared, to please stop it and let me go home, but they simply stared at me and smiled. I had the sense that they spoke to me in my mind and told me “Little boy this balloon will never land”.

At this point I had a strange vision of a heaven like place, and people were concerned I was leaving, they told me how easy it is too get lost where I wanted to go, that it would change everything, that it would be HARD, and I might never find my way back, I smiled and said goodbye and leaped.

I was back in the balloon (Rather I never left, as in a dream, I had the sense that although time passed, some of the events occurred occupying seemingly the same time-space. Sometimes time seemed to stop, not just stop, but as if there was no before and would be no after, time itself was the dream, the memory of it dim and only with effort recalled;
Other times it was charged with speed/intensity, a shattering compaction of time and thought cycles into something thoroughly alien, very humbling. Dual States.) I thought of my family, friends, and the world itself, and how much I would miss them and how worried they would be about me, and how much I would miss the feeling of being in the world. In a moment i had a dual feeling, the world, my very perception became diffuse, cloud like, and I felt as if I had a monolith of incalculable size resting on my head. I saw a elephant balancing on a pin on my finger and felt his weight. Everything began to go extremely fast and I screamed a scream that started out a sound but became a visceral sensation of my body exploding, and then there was nothing. It seemed my perception simply shut off and I felt a dual sensation, totally separate but occupying the same space and moment. Absolute love and warmth and security, the sense that I was immortal, but always changing, a never ending fountain of being of no size, no time, and no distinction. It simply WAS. The other sensation I had, and i could look at both sensations simultaneously but separately, like 2 boxes side by side but yet joined, of absolute TERROR, like a animal being chased by a predator, whose object is not to catch you, but simply to pursue you into “something”? Not evil, but not good, only powerful and my experience of that power.

Finally I felt as if something began to regurgitate from the inside, much bigger than the cavity it was contained within, it hurt, like throwing up an avocado pit. I awoke, drenched in sweat, and screaming with the kids in the cabin all out of their beds around me, some crying, some looking scared, some in the corner just staring, and the counselors trying to rouse me awake. I screamed for a good 5 mins hysterically before they brought me to the nurse and let me call my parents, to whom I babbled incoherently about hot air balloons disappearing into nothing and sinister uncle impostors. And no in this instance I did not have a fever or sickness, although these states can also trigger experiences, in this case no.

Whatever they are ( I suppose they simply are what they are, any name we can call them is incidental, I have some guesses but in the end, its not what matters, what matters is how they affect me), and since then I have encountered them in various forms and guises a few times (at least that I can remember, I also have intuitions of experiences that are not readily accessible to my memory). It leaves a powerful impression on me, it is quite terrifying actually, the bad moments are akin to finding yourself in a horror movie, stark-naked (not literally), hopeless-terror. Terror, alarm and all-encompassing fear, there is no room for anything else. There is however the deep allure of witnessing something remarkable and incredibly powerful. The good moments, as described, the breaking through of duality and the clear non-distinct bliss of that. Nothing however since then has had the same impression as that one did, perhaps because I was so young. Just to clarify, they are not some aspect of me, or human I think, they are fully strange and outside myself and my mundane experience, even the very strange mundane. They are startling to the point of suspending your ability to act or think clearly, they are very much real.

Finally after a bit I became extremely tired and they put me to bed in the infirmary were I slept a black deep sleep. I had many other experiences in the mountains (others place as well from groves to my house), I was both attracted to them and repelled.

What does all this have to do with the topic of non-duality? I could state a bunch of philosophical and metaphysical analysis of relativity, subjectivity, perception, the chain of cause and effect, the inability for us as humans to understand the context, meaning and “Absolute” nature of our existence, and these things are interesting and helpful as well as a trap (like all things, they are facets of our totality and the parts are more than their sum, much more).

I am in the stage now, of trying to learn to reconcile my sensitivity to such things with leading a life which is in tune with my spiritual understanding (especially in being concerned with the well being of those around me and how I affect them. Not that I must change my inherent self, but that I must change the way I interact with them, to some extent sensitive to their understanding and fears). To discard the slightly selfish, indulgent, decadent adventurer for the immaculateness of the warrior.
-Z

Perhaps, murderers, rapists, etc, were blind-sided by their dark side-not to excuse their behavior. To use an old cliché, “the devil you know is better than the one you don’t.” One can’t rectify what is not recognized. In our society, who could I trust to help me, if I had those kinds of thoughts and feelings? We are taught to “eshew the very presence of evil.”. Meanwhile, the world and its people never change or heal.