Waking up is an endless losing what you think you know, like a wave of destruction that leaves nothing but what is true.
โ Unmani
Death is a word that we humans usually associate with darkness, mourning, decay, and general creepiness.
We spend our entire lives running away from, avoiding, and denying the fact that we will someday physically die.
However, the death that I’m talking about in this article isnโt the typical kind of death we fear.
Spiritual Wanderer Course:
Being a lone wolf and a spiritual wanderer is a sacred calling in life โ a unique and alchemical path of awakening. You donโt need to feel lost, alone, or stuck on your journey any more. Itโs time to meet your soulโs deep needs for clarity, self-acceptance, and empowerment. Let us show you how โฆ
The death Iโll be referring to is the most beautiful, illuminating, awe-inspiring, expansive, enlightening, and paradigm-shattering experience you could ever go through.
This experience is known as โego death,โ and for every serious spiritual seeker, it is a pivotal part of the spiritual awakening journey.
What is the Ego?
In order to understand what ego death is, we must first understand what the ego is.
As I explored in my article โWhat is the Ego?โ the ego is basically our sense of self or our identity.
The ego is a biological and spiritual tool that defends the belief that we are all separate โindividualโ entities.
As a result of believing that we are separate and isolated in this life, we suffer immensely.
The Ego and Duality
The ego โ our sense of self โ perceives life through the lens of duality.
Shadow & Light Membership:
โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ "Shadow and Lightโs weekly guidance always rings true to my heart. Thanks for acknowledging my shadows and inviting my inner light. I always get excited to open the Shadow and Light emails on Sunday!" โ Angela M.
Duality is the opposite of reality โ it is the division of life into opposing forces such as love/hate, good/bad, right/wrong, and holy/sinful.
When we divide life, we suffer.
The result of the dualistic ego is judgment, hatred, condemnation, and alienation. While we accept some things, we reject other things. While we love some people, we hate other people.
Instead of unconditionally accepting life in its wholeness, we slice it into โacceptableโ and โunacceptableโ experiences, people, beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. Thus, we suffer.
As a result of our feelings of being separate from the Whole (which gives birth to duality), we also begin to reject ourselves.
Any thought, feeling, sensation, experience, or belief we have that is judged to be โbad,โ โunacceptableโ or โwrongโ we suppress, avoid, and deny.
As a result of this repression, we fuel our Shadow Selvesย which become more twisted and monstrous the longer we keep them buried under shame.
Living through the ego can be observed in our world very clearly.
The depression, anxiety, mental illness, murder, hatred, greed, poverty, war, and environmental destruction we experience is all a reflection of our internal suffering. It is a loss of Soul.
And why do we suffer?
Would you like to save this?
We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!
Your information will never be shared.
We suffer because of the separate self we carry (i.e., the ego) that believes it’s a little isolated speck cut off from existence.
What is Ego Death?
I’ve used the term “ego death” in this article because it’s the most popular phrase out there used for such an experience.
But the truth is that the ego can never really “die”; instead, it can be made conscious so that it’s no longer running our lives.
So how can we define “ego death”?
Ego death is the experience of temporarily transcending the ego, self, or personal identity.
This experience is the most mind-bending, awakening, awe-inspiring, peaceful, and unconditionally loving experience you could ever have.
Why?
Ego death is essentially an experience of embodying your True Nature (or returning back to who you really are), temporarily.
However, while the experience of ego death is indescribably beautiful, it can also be indescribably horrific for those who are not aware of the spiritual path, and for those who resist the actual experience.
Those who report ego death generally fall into two groups: those who found the experience illuminating, and those who found the experience tormenting.
I have experienced both states of pure ecstasy and pure horror โ and let me tell you, it can turn your life upside down and inside out. (Whether that is a good thing is up to you decide!)
Brotherhood of the Screaming Abyss
If you’re familiar with the psychonaut community (a collection of people who use psychedelic substances to access higher states of being), you would have heard of many โego deathโ experiences.
Why? The answer is that shamanic plants such as ayahuasca, DMT, and psilocybin mushrooms are powerful gateways to the Divine experience.
Psychedelic explorers Dennis and Terence McKenna (who referred to themselves as the โBrotherhood of the Screaming Abyssโ) often mentioned the state of pure awe and also terror experienced in the face of ego death.
However, as Terence McKenna once said, the abyss must be approached with courage, because only then can you discover that the fear is an illusion:
Spiritual Awakening Bundle:
โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ "Luna & Sol, your words have been like salve to my soul. I have been searching for a way to heal and reconnect to my true self for so long (20 years) but have never found anything that truly made a differenceโฆ Until I read your books." โ Stac
Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering its a feather bed.
Ego death can feel scary because it is the ultimate threat to the ego: to die. To cease to exist, even for just a minute.
The ego creates intense fear as a defense mechanism to try and hold onto a sense of control and power.
However, to progress on our spiritual paths, we must understand the role of this fear, be mindful of it, and not permit it to limit us.
7 Stages of Ego Death
Ego death happens in stages, and if courageously pursued, eventually results in the experience of Self-Realization, Nirvana, Oneness, spiritual ascension, or Spiritual Enlightenment.
While ego death is not formulaic or necessarily predictable, it does tend to follow a pattern:
Stage 1 โ Spiritual Awakening
In the first stage of ego death, we begin to โwake upโ to life.
Our process of spiritual awakening might be triggered by an existential crisis, a tragedy, a chronic illness, or simply the natural process of soulful maturing.
When we experience a spiritual awakening, we begin to search for more depth in life. Often, we ask big questions such as โwhat is my purpose?โ โwhat is the meaning of life?โ and โwhat happens after death?โย
Spiritual awakenings are triggered by the sensation that something profound is missing in life and they’re accompanied by feelings of depression and anxiety.
Read more: You can learn more about the spiritual awakening process in our book ยป
Stage 2 โ The Dark Night of the Soul
The Dark Night of the Soul is inseparable from the spiritual awakening process.
When we experience the Dark Night, we become extremely conscious of our separation from ourselves, other people, and the Divine.
How does the Dark Night often lead to ego death?
The Dark Night of the Soul is a period when we feel utterly lost, lonely and isolated from others. It is the accumulation or culmination of our suffering.
Deep down, we know something has to drastically change in our life, but we donโt know what or where to look.
Often, this experience culminates in a sudden ‘pop’ of the ego bubble โ like the cork from a wine bottle suddenly releasing pressure.
Read more: 7 Omens That Herald the Dark Night of the Soul ยป
Stage 3 โ The Spiritual Seeker
Eventually, after experiencing a spiritual awakening and Dark Night of the Soul, we stumble into the field of spirituality. We start experimenting with different spiritual practices and find that some alleviate our suffering.
We become obsessed with reducing the suffering we have been carrying and explore many different fields such as energy healing, zen, yoga, astrology, mysticism, etc.
Stage 4 โ Satori
The word โSatoriโ is a Zen Buddhist word that means โmomentary enlightenment.โ Satori is a small glimpse into your True Nature, or Consciousness itself; a moment when your ego completely dissolves.
For some, this experience is scary, and spiritual growth stagnates. But for others, the Satori experience is deeply life-changing, and spiritual growth continues.
Many describe Satori as being the result of a kundalini awakening.
Read more: What is Kundalini Awakening? (19 Intense Symptoms) ยป
Stage 5 โ Spiritual Discernment
After a certain period of time, we begin to develop spiritual discernment. We discover the gimmicks and spiritual bypassing practices that keep us trapped in the cycle of pain, fear, and separation, and learn practices that open us to the Divine. As we begin to experience more maturity and reconnect with our True Nature, we learn the virtues of self-discipline, patience, and focus.
Read more: Higher Self: 11 Ways to Connect With Your Soul ยป
Stage 6 โ Dissolution and Deconstruction
In this stage, we begin to surrender all that we are not.
This stage is not just about identifying our destructive and limiting beliefs and behavior patterns but actually letting go of them and letting the light in.
Grace, discipline, trust, courage, non-attachment, humility, and love all play an important role in this process.
Stage 7 โ The End of the Search
Finally, we come to a stop. We realize that all that we are, and all that we need, can be found right Now.
The search to become something, to lose something, to find something, and to accomplish something perishes.
For over a decade, we've strived to make this website a haven of free, valuable information. Imagine a world where this knowledge wasn't readily available. If this post sparked a meaningful insight or helped you in any way, please consider a donation as a heartfelt "thank you" for keeping this resource free. Every contribution, big or small, allows us to keep giving back.
$3We see through the illusion of looking for truth, joy, peace, and love in any place outside of ourselves.
We see the truth that we are mirrored in all beings and all things.
We experience interconnectedness and Oneness.
While the ego still exists, we become aware of the ego as simply a tool; not the Truth of Who We Are.
Transcending duality and the grip of the ego, we develop the capacity to give unconditional love and acceptance.
This is the state of ultimate inner peace, freedom, and what people refer to as “enlightenment,” yet those who experience this know that no possible label or mental construct can describe such an experience.ย
The end is the beginning, and the beginning is the end.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
โ T. S. Eliot
FAQ About Ego Death
If you needed more clarity, here are some answers to common questions:
Ego death is an intense experience that can alternate between feelings of horror and ecstatic bliss. While one person may experience nothing but terror, another may experience only cosmic Oneness. But often, most people experience both extremes while undergoing ego death.
Usually, ego death is such a paradigm-shifting and mind-blowing experience that a person’s life will change forever. What happens after ego death often involves a lot of soul searching. The person will be inspired to seek a deeper sense of meaning and purpose and will embark on a spiritual quest for answers. Most people forget about the importance of spiritual integration after this experience โ which is crucial to make the most of it!
Some people deliberately seek out ego death to try and achieve a mystical experience. However, a word of caution: this experience can be extremely dangerous for those unprepared (see: spiritual emergency). Once you’ve checked your intentions, you’ll be pleased to know that there are quite a few paths to ego death. Some examples include attending long meditation retreats, entering altered states of consciousness through mystical paths like dancing or chanting, and ingesting psychedelic substances. For serious spiritual seekers, almost every mystical tradition offers pathways to ego death.
***
Ego death is a serious, purging, profound, and shattering experience.
It is so deep and so beyond anything we have experienced in this life, that it changes our perception of existence in a single moment.
I hope these “stages” have helped you to understand it better.
Finally, Iโll leave you with a beautiful quote to ponder about death itself:
Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die โ and find that there is no death.
โ Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)
Ruminate on this process, and let me know what you think.
Whenever you feel the call, there are 3 ways I can help you:
1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Need "big picture" direction, clarity, and focus? Our Spiritual Wanderer course is a crystallization of 10+ years of inner work, and it can help you find your deeper path and purpose in life as a spiritual wanderer. You get 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, a premium test, and more!.
2. Shadow & Light Membership: Want weekly intuitive guidance to support you on your awakening path? This affordable membership can help you to befriend your dark side, rediscover more self-love, and reclaim inner wholeness.
3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Looking for a collection of all our essential transformative resources? You get five enlightening ebooks, seven in-depth journals, plus two empowering bonuses to help you soul search, heal, and awaken.
I have gone through this process. And it was from finding how gravity works, holographic cosmic horizons conserve energy, information and entropy. Which are all the same thing in a way. Here is what I found.
What is the purpose of life, the universe and everything? I can show at a minimum it’s to entangle every particle with every other particle in the universe in order to resolve uncertainty, in other words, to gain knowledge. I can show that it’s a conserving function which is equivalent to a “purpose”. This not merely philosophical, this is mathematical and logical. The function of the heart is to pump blood. That function is also its “purpose”. The universe has a conserving function of eternally gaining knowledge by entangling every particle with every other particle. It has no other more fundamental function and that is a precise definition of purpose. The greater the level of entanglement with higher order emergent properties, like intelligence, the richer the data experience.
Morals naturally fall out of this framework. Imagine the data richness in a collaborative, flat hierarchy network of cultivated diversity and depth whose purpose is to resolve uncertainty and spread knowledge instead of building towers. That instead of the destructive status-seeking, greed-driven, celebrity-caste-system approach that rewards bad behavior and entrenches the the merit-less oligarchy. And this applies to almost any system, academic, political or economic. The universe is showing us a better way when we need it most and if we fail to pay attention, I am afraid we will pay the price.
My awakening was abrupt once I saw entropy conserve, change in entropy cosmic + change in entropy local = 0. A distant particle crosses out of our observable universe itโs encode as horizon area, +1 cosmic and the local particle is now gone, -1 local. Gravity emits from entangled spin pairs, the horizon shrinks one unit to resolve spins between A and V and B emits a Hawking photon upon measurement to conserve the now slightly smaller universe. Basically I came to this understanding by math and paying attention to how the universe operates. I now realize I am an entangler and uncertainty resolver, a knowledge acquirer and therefore my role is to be a steward and enhance the experiences of all stakeholders on this planet. If anyone wants a math way to ego death search Google for โConservation of Entropy and Landauer Limit Approach to Gravity Using a Relative Holographic Principle Frameworkโ. Itโs not as much math as youโd think, only enough to show how these ideas have a physical basis. Also a playlist on Gravity for the Masses has several presentations that will help make sense of this incredibly beautiful universe. There are no words to describe this. It has to be experienced. Thanks for letting me share!
I had some pain in my heart when I was driving from work, it was strong pain, I started crying, but all that was with joy, I felt like my heart opened to something new. Since then Iโm totally different person. It was the best feeling ever, even though I have no idea what it was ๐ณ
I wonder how one can discern between something coming from ego or from true self. Is there a way of knowing? I notice the harder I try to figure it out, the harder it becomes to make this discernment. But then I a not sure what to chose anymore….
Thanks Sandra, it’s a common problem, we’ve explored distinguishing intuition from fearful thoughts (generally how the ego communicates) here: https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-trust-your-intuition/#h-how-to-distinguish-fearful-thoughts-from-intuition
Hi! I understand your difficulty with this. Ego death is very profound and not to sound like a flowery guru, one you see it, it canโt be unseen. I am glad that you are seeking a deeper understanding. Here is a way that may help. First ask yourself if you are doing something based on status. Ask yourself, are you attaching yourself to the outcomes of your work? If you are, then itโs likely from a place of desiring status. Once I realized I am a patterned quantum spin network fully integrated into the entire universe as are all life forms and all atoms and particles. There is no caste system in the universe. We are all entanglers, connecting, sharing information to resolve uncertainty and gain knowledge. Knowledge is the path to peace. Truly, I am you and you are me. I think adopting a stewardโs mindset may be helpful. That you are here to serve the entire system, not just people, but all life. And by crating a more verdant environment everyoneโs experience will be improved. There is still pain but fear and anxiety have all but vanished. And without fear or anxiety pain doesnโt seem as horrible. Lastly try to remember that emotions are a signal and not a truth. If you find a negative emotion, do not summarily dismiss it. Look at it, turn it round and look at the emotion from other perspectives, then decide whether you will act on the signal or dismiss it. Problems arise when people wallow in emotion. Emotion was never meant to be a permanent state, any emotion. Even happiness. If you cling to happiness too hard, it can cause problems as happiness was only designed to be a temporary state of bliss as a reward to encourage that behavior. I am somewhat new to this, I awoke several months ago, but I hope this provides some value for you. Lastly. A person with an ego can be a fantastic human being. So you can find it at your own pace and still be a remarkable person even if you never achieve it.
Ego death often has the common misconception in that it takes away your individuality, personality, and uniqueness, but that’s not true. Often ego death allows you to be your true self, however that is defined. For one person, it could be in turning into a stereotypical spiritual master, someone calm, poised, and serious. For others, it means staying as their loud, extroverted, and gregarious self, but in a way that is kinder, more humble, and gentler. Enlightened people come in all forms, whether it’s someone wearing traditional monk clothes, or a man/woman with multiple tattoos and piercings who is actually fairly experienced in life, accepting of others, and non-judgmental. The ego in a way, is often seen less as your “personality,” and more of what is called your “false personality.” As in, it’s the death of the self in you that is not truly you. What your true self is, it can differ, but the more ego deaths you experience (More often than not, one is not enough), the closer you are to your true self, which can come in very unique flavors from person to person.
Well said, Anonymousperson ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ
And I suddenly lost my spiritual path and just became me again. All those experiences, some beautiful, many intense, evaporated and it was just me again.
Same here! It was weird, like I had so much knowledge and wisdom and then I woke up and was like okayyyy now I just feel like me, like I had came home.
Beautiful โค๏ธ
kinda like my experience, but I now have severe anxiety and have a fear of being judged… that wasn’t like me before. I’m currently back on my spiritual journey right now tho.