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ยป Home ยป Finding Guidance

Soul Ties: 5 Types and How to Break Negative Ones

by Aletheia Luna ยท Updated: Apr 2, 2025 ยท 34 Comments

Ai generated image of a woman and a wolf in a forest with golden soul ties connecting her to the environment
Soul ties soul mate image

You feel a deep kinship with this person, but you have no idea why. It feels as though youโ€™re resonating on the same wavelength.ย 

The energy between the two of you feels harmonic, like two perfectly matched instruments playing in a symphony. ย 

You havenโ€™t known them for long, but it feels like youโ€™ve met before โ€ฆย 


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Can you relate to this strange feeling and experience? If so, you may have come in contact with a soul tie.

There are many types of soul ties. Some of them are healthy, and others are unhealthy.

But the trickiest part is when a connection feels positive but actually begins to drain your lifeforce energy without you knowing it until youโ€™re too deeply invested in the relationship.

You may then start feeling stuck, trapped, and suffocated in this connection, not knowing how to find freedom.

How can you tell whether youโ€™re in a healthy or unhealthy soul ties friendship/relationship?

Iโ€™ll explore that in this article, as well as the five types of soul ties out there.

Table of contents

  • What Are Soul Ties?
  • 5 Types of Soul Ties
    • 1. Karmic Relationships
    • 2. Soul Friend
    • 3. Soul Teacher
    • 4. Soul Mate
    • 5. Soul Mirror
  • 7 Signs You Have a Soul Tie Connection
  • Soul Ties: 8 Negative Signs to Watch Out Forย 
  • How to Break Negative Soul Tie Connections
    • 1. Determine where the problems dwell: within yourself, within the other, or within the relationship in general.
    • 2. Define what needs of yours are being ignored or violated
    • 3. Breaking the connection: the head-on approach
    • 4. Breaking the connection: the indirect approach
    • 5. Breaking the connection: the energy-based approach

What Are Soul Ties?

Ai generated image of two women connecting deeply in nature

Soul ties are said to be the deep spiritual connections that exist between two or more people. These deep inner bonds are said to exist for a number of reasons.ย 

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Firstly, some believe that soul ties are the result of past life connections. You may, for instance, need to work out certain karmic patterns with such a person. Or perhaps that personโ€™s soul agreed to help you learn something specific in this lifetime.

Secondly, others believe that soul ties unite us with those in our soul family โ€“ or the collection of souls that came to this earth to learn similar lessons and fulfill certain destinies.ย 

Whether you believe in soul ties or not is a personal preference and decision to make yourself, as theyโ€™re obviously impossible to โ€˜proveโ€™ scientifically.

5 Types of Soul Ties

Ai generated image of two people in a soul ties relationship beneath an enchanted tree in the forest

There are numerous types of soul ties. Here are the five main types:

1. Karmic Relationships

As I wrote in my article on karmic relationships:

โ€ฆ karmic relationships are bonds created between the Souls of individuals who, before being born into this world, agreed to work their shit out. (Also known as creating a โ€˜Soul Contract.โ€™) Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, karmic relationships, at the very least, can be seen as opportunities to learn major life lessons.

Karmic relationships are typically complex, dramatic, addictive, and painful because theyโ€™re designed to teach us essential life lessons and help us spiritually mature.

This is a type of soul tie that generally stands in a category of its own, although sometimes, karmic relationships can overlap with the other soul tie types discussed below.

2. Soul Friend

This is a person with whom you get along almost immediately. You may share the same values, goals, and dreams in life with this person with very little friction.ย 

Typically appearing in the form of a platonic relationship, Soul Friends are excellent companions on our life paths. This is the type of person who will stay by your side through thick and thin โ€“ they are true friends.

3. Soul Teacher

A Soul Teacher is someone you look up to โ€“ typically someone in a position of authority or in a helping role like a therapist, spiritual teacher, older family member, and so on.

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Youโ€™ll be drawn to this personโ€™s insight, compassion, and wisdom because it mirrors your own deeper potential that hasnโ€™t been fully actualized yet.ย 

While Soul Teachers are generally positive influences, they can be negative, as in the case of those who join cults or get fooled by toxic spiritual guidance.

4. Soul Mate

When someone is trying to find their โ€œone true love,โ€ typically, theyโ€™re on the lookout for their soul mate. But keep in mind that Soul Mates come in many forms, and thereโ€™s no necessary โ€œone personโ€ out there who can meet all your needs (this is a setup for codependency, by the way!).

Soul Mates can be platonic or romantic in nature, and we can have more than one, although most people will only find one in this lifetime (if theyโ€™re lucky). This may actually be a good thing because a connection with a Soul Mate is profound and transforms us on a core level โ€“ and this often takes tremendous psychospiritual openness, time, and energy.

5. Soul Mirror

A Soul Mirror is someone who is deeply involved in your soulโ€™s evolution and has an irrevocably powerful impact on your whole life.

Soul Mirrors can be platonic or romantic and have been sometimes referred to as โ€œtwin flameโ€ relationships. For reasons Iโ€™ve discussed here, I dislike using that term as it has been negatively tainted by modern misuse (and cult-like scandals among its proponents).

I prefer to see Soul Mirror connections as a yin-yang relationship, where the other person will mirror the exact mental, emotional, and spiritual qualities you need to learn how to cultivate within yourself.ย 

There is a strong element of anima/animus and divine feminine and divine masculine integration that occurs within Soul Mirror relationships โ€“ which is incidentally present in opposing and same-sex connections as this energy is present within all of us regardless of gender.

This type of soul tie connection is generally uncommon and, while complex and challenging, is typically healthy and life-changing in a positive way.

7 Signs You Have a Soul Tie Connection

Ai generated image of golden soul ties on the floor of a forest linking one tree to another

So, do you have a soul tie connection? See how many of these signs you can relate to:

  • You feel like youโ€™ve known this person for years, maybe lifetimes
  • You both โ€˜vibeโ€™ with each other effortlesslyย 
  • You often think or say the same thing at the same time (โ€œfreaky mind connectionโ€!)
  • You sense that you have something important to learn from each other
  • You share similar meaningful interests, goals, and dreams that go beyond surface likes
  • You feel irresistibly drawn to this person for reasons beyond your logical mind
  • Youโ€™ve opened up to this person and changed in ways youโ€™ve never experienced before with others

Soul Ties: 8 Negative Signs to Watch Out Forย 

Ai generated image of two people facing each other with wolves behind them in a toxic soul ties relationship

As youโ€™ve seen, there are five types of soul ties. Some are generally healthy, others are neutral, and some veer on the more dysfunctional side.

But how do you know that you have a toxic attachment when such a connection can feel so alluring?

Watch out for these negative signs:

  1. You feel drained after being around them โ€“ As drawn to this person as you are, you often leave their presence feeling sucked dry of energy. Instead of feeling energized and revitalized, you feel exhausted or worn out. This is often the first and easiest sign to identify when it comes to determining whether your soul ties connection is beneficial or not.
  2. You canโ€™t seem to separate your emotions from their emotions โ€“ While this may just be a sign that you lack a clear sense of self, it may also be a sign of mutually present dysfunctional codependent or enmeshment patterns. Ask yourself, โ€œDoes my happiness depend on how happy they are?โ€ and โ€œDo I base my self-worth on how they treat me?โ€ If so, you have a problem on your hands.
  3. Your connection feels chaotic and dramatic, quickly swinging from positive to negative โ€“ If there are many big highs and lows in your connection that occur quite frequently, this is a clear sign that the connection is unhealthy and you need to take a step back. Itโ€™s normal to experience disagreements and arguments occasionally, but if you feel like youโ€™re on an emotional rollercoaster ride with them, jump off and take care of your sanity!
  4. You feel guilty setting boundaries with them, and when you do, they disregard them โ€“ Intense connections can be beautiful. But without boundaries, they can become depleting and destructive. Boundary violations can come in many shapes and sizes, and not all of them are obvious. For instance, if you say that you canโ€™t do something like go out somewhere but then get a call with a melodramatic plea to do the very thing you donโ€™t want to do, thatโ€™s a boundary violation. Iโ€™ve written about creating personal boundaries in the past. But the essential thing to ask yourself is, โ€œDo they respect me when I assert my needs? Or do they often find a way of overstepping and only put themselves first?โ€
  5. You feel as though youโ€™re not allowed other relationships or connections โ€“ Jealousy and possessiveness are signs of an insecure and controlling person, which of course, is unhealthy, so beware! Remember that you have the right to be friends with other people and to enjoy other enriching connections too.ย 
  6. You feel anxious and empty when not around them โ€“ Similar to โ€œattachment anxietyโ€ in animals, feeling strong negative feelings when not in the otherโ€™s presence is a sign of (a) codependent tendencies you need to deal with in yourself, or (b) an unhealthy relational connection that needs to either be restructured or released (let it go). All healthy adult relationships should encourage a feeling of inner wholeness, not inner dependency.
  7. You donโ€™t know who you are without them โ€“ Similar to #2, this is a sign of a poorly defined sense of self and a potential sign of codependency. Remember that solitude and time spent by yourself is healthy. Donโ€™t rely on them to tell you who you are, and if they seem resistant to you gaining more self-knowledge because it goes against how they want you to be, take that as a big blazing red flag.
  8. You feel unhappy with yourself after spending time with them โ€“ Whether due to toxic comparison or because they have an insidious way of undermining your sense of self-worth, feeling bad about yourself makes the relationship unsustainable. Healthy connections may challenge you, yes, but they also build you up and remind you of your inherent worth. Any connection that makes you feel weak, unworthy, or incapable is not worth keeping.

How to Break Negative Soul Tie Connections

Ai generated image of a person holding a sword and cutting through some golden soul ties

As someone who has experienced the beauty of soul ties, I know how special these connections can feel โ€“ especially in this age of increasing disconnection and the โ€œloneliness epidemic.โ€

On the spiritual wandererโ€™s journey, we often come across soul ties in the Apprentice stage of the journey, where we meet allies, guides, and kindred souls who support us on our paths.


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Not all of these kindred souls, however, are necessarily healthy or beneficial to our well-being in the long run.

In fact, some of these soul ties teach us the hard but valuable lesson of trusting ourselves, respecting our own needs and boundaries, and developing healthy self-respect and self-love by asserting our needs and walking away.

If you think you may be in a negative soul tie connection based on what Iโ€™ve shared above, hereโ€™s how to break it off before it devours you:

1. Determine where the problems dwell: within yourself, within the other, or within the relationship in general.

Sometimes, it is our codependent tendencies that get triggered and flare up when weโ€™re in a soul tie connection. Like a moth to the flame, we become obsessed with the other person, wanting them to meet all our needs. This, of course, is an issue we need to learn to resolve.

Other times, it is the other person who is responsible for fostering an unhealthy connection and emotional environment. Perhaps they are controlling, jealous, have narcissistic tendencies, or chisel away at our self-worth until we feel like husks of our former selves.

Finally, at times the issues come from both sides, where both of you are responsible for creating a toxic bond.

Whatever the case, you need to pinpoint where the problems dwell, and that will give you enough information as to how to proceed.ย 

2. Define what needs of yours are being ignored or violated

Breaking a negative soul ties connection can bring feelings of guilt and shame, especially if youโ€™ve been closely connected for a while. This is why having a clear reason why youโ€™re doing it can give you more peace of mind.

Defining what needs of yours have been ignored, dismissed, or violated by the other person on a consistent basis can give you the motivation to go ahead and walk away.

For instance, perhaps you have the need to feel seen or heard but frequently feel ignored and talked over in conversations. Or maybe whenever youโ€™ve set a boundary surrounding your availability at certain times, youโ€™ve been bulldozed or had your space invaded by calls, surprise visits, or emotional manipulation.

Consider how you feel unseen, unheard, or undervalued, and youโ€™ll find what needs of yours are being dismissed. This will light an inner fire to stand up for yourself and reclaim a greater feeling of self-respect.

3. Breaking the connection: the head-on approach

Like ripping off a bandaid, breaking a negative soul ties connection head-on can feel painful and sting, but itโ€™s also a quick route and can help you find peace of mind more swiftly.

A head-on approach involves preparing (this is important) a โ€œgoodbye speechโ€ that is clear, confident, and calm (or as much as is reasonably possible).

I recommend looking into “non-violent communication” methods to help you craft something that fits your situation. You can also do a quick search online for more support.

Some very basic examples or โ€œtemplatesโ€ may include:

Subconscious Mind Test image
  • Iโ€™ve appreciated these years/days/months, but I feel like weโ€™re in different places โ€ฆย 
  • Youโ€™ve taught me so much, but Iโ€™m ready to spread my wings and move on โ€ฆ
  • Iโ€™ve sensed for a while that weโ€™re moving in different directions, and I think itโ€™s time to go our separate ways โ€ฆ
  • Iโ€™ve been so grateful for your presence in my life, but I need my own space from now on โ€ฆ

Be prepared for some pushback and hurt feelings โ€“ it comes with the territory. But this approach can give you a quick and clean break if you stay calm, clear, and confident.

4. Breaking the connection: the indirect approach

I realize that most people reading this may prefer an indirect approach. We humans tend to avoid hurting others if we can. And often, a quieter approach can be the way to go.

But I want to make it clear that if youโ€™re in a highly toxic situation (aka., narcissistic abuse), itโ€™s better to break the connection head-on and go no-contact, yes, even without an explanation if the situation warrants this approach.

The indirect approach is more suited to connections that are dysfunctional but not crippling. For instance, maybe you have a Soul Friend who is a constant energy drain, and you want to move on, but you donโ€™t want to hurt their feelings too directly or brutally.

To begin with this approach, slowly lessen your contact โ€“ and thatโ€™s it. Find excuses to not be around this person, respond less to their messages, set clear boundaries, and emotionally disengage with their drama.

Often, this approach works best with those you donโ€™t live with. If you live with a soul tie, youโ€™ll need to take a more direct and swift approach as a form of mercy to both yourself and the other.ย 

5. Breaking the connection: the energy-based approach

I recommend doing this after either the direct or indirect approach โ€“ it shouldnโ€™t be used alone as youโ€™ll need solid in-this-world action to break a negative soul tie clearly.

Energy-based soul tie disconnection often involves simple rituals that can help your mind and heart move on from the experience.

Some examples include:

  • Write the personโ€™s name on a piece of paper, burn it, and let the wind carry the ashes away to symbolize release.ย 
  • Visualize spiritual light washing over your entire being and clearing every cell within you of negative attachment to the other person.
  • Imagine a cord of energy connecting you to the other person, then clap your hands together and imagine cutting or breaking the cord.
  • Meditate on forgiveness, as this quality will truly help you to move on and break the connection on a deep inner level.
  • Cultivate self-love as it will help you to find a sense of inner peace, self-trust, and groundedness again โ€“ I recommend The Self-Love Journal as a brilliant resource.ย 

***

Soul ties can be beautiful companions, guides, and mirrors on our paths to spiritual awakening and evolution.

But, sometimes, they can keep us stuck, trapped, and burned out in limiting patterns that starve us of well-being and the ability to expand and grow.

I hope youโ€™ve found more clarity through this article.

Tell me, what does a negative soul tie connection feel like to you? What would you recommend to others struggling with this issue? Iโ€™d love to hear from you below.

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

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  1. grace says

    October 22, 2024 at 2:45 am

    Great read re: soul ties

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 29, 2024 at 9:23 am

      Thank you Grace ๏ปฟ๐Ÿ’œ๏ปฟ

      Reply
  2. Shimmy says

    October 20, 2024 at 9:27 pm

    I agree, with how the connection makes the sense of familiarity, but i also believe people meet before hand. Not just on the past life of reincarnation or soul contracts. Souls/people also meet through Lucid dreaming were they are in contact with their soul,mind and emotions. The feelings of familiarity becomes high and feels like you’ve met before, for at times when it happens its like dejavu like it has happened before, even when you are meeting for the first time. although you guys have met before in your dreams / through lucid dreams. whats your take on meeting people before hand and soul ties how would you say they link?

    Reply
  3. kumarason says

    October 06, 2024 at 7:42 pm

    It’s time for all these beautiful loner wolves to become plural wolves. An incubation period under the Loner Wolf banner was needed. However, that’s life imprisonment.
    Each individual loner wolf has tremendous potential to be free here and now. Alethia and their partner have done wonderful service in healing all the loner wolves.

    Personally, my mind voice received great solace and peace reading all their articles for the past several years since coming to know this group. However, we are here in this group for a reason.

    For example, today’s topic was breaking ties. We don’t need to break any ties because ties do not exist. we can show a physical rope tie knot. Ask the writer to show me a subtle spiritual tie or knot. they cannot, because it does not exist. It’s only a concept in their mind.

    We are born free and die free, spiritual tie is a mind-conceived concept. Advaita Vedanta calls it mithya maya.

    Reply
  4. Erica says

    October 03, 2024 at 4:22 am

    Hi! Great article!! This was really eye opening for me. I have a friend who I met in 2016. We were instantly friends and connected in multiple ways. She was my best friend. I became unhealthy in my life and she had to end our friendship. I missed her so much. About 2-3 months ago we became friends again and we were both really happy about this and grateful. Within the last few weeks I have noticed areas where she has become codependent and overly needy and draining. I appreciate your insight in this article because I have been looking at where I have to put distance and wasn’t sure I could. I love her and still think of her as one of my best friends and the relationship is draining. I actually caught myself thinking a couple of days ago that I did not want to go to her house. I thought that was odd.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 04, 2024 at 12:07 pm

      Hey Erica, thanks for sharing. People are composed of light and dark traits, and I’m glad you can still maintain the friendship while also setting boundaries. That’s the only way we can co-learn in relationships with others. Many people jump to extremes when setting boundaries and become overly confrontational or else completely cut the other off. Of course, if the connection is mostly negative, then these may be good tactics. But more often than not, simple boundary setting is all that’s needed.
      Thanks for being here :)

      Reply
  5. Heike says

    October 03, 2024 at 1:45 am

    for me personally, the biggest red flag as Iโ€™ve experienced twice is manipulative behaviour. Itโ€™s especially hard to get out of when the person has a narcissistic personality. Iโ€™ve lived with both of these people and because I learned from, and reflected on the first one, I was quite quick to remove myself from the second one. What was really helpful for me were the insights from my healthy relationships, and I truly wish for anyone to have a healthy relationship in their life who can give you a clear view of whatโ€™s really happening in this toxic soul-tie energy exchange.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 04, 2024 at 12:08 pm

      The juxtaposition is extremely helpful. I’m glad you’ve experienced healthy relationships to know the difference Heike. Much love <3

      Reply
  6. Haytam says

    October 02, 2024 at 5:37 pm

    Hi Aletheia, I enjoyed reading this article, and it made me reflect on some relationships I have had. I prayed to God that if the development of such a relationship is unhealthy, may I feel undrawn to it, may I undesire it, if healthy, then may I love it. By God’s mercy, I got a clear undesire, a deep one without clear reasoning, especially after a dream or a vision I have had. Thanks to God.

    The relationship between souls is a fascinating subjects, and I recalled a saying of the Prophet Muhammed (The prophet of Islam, may peace be upon him), who said, based on authentic hadith collection book,
    “Souls are like in different legions, those that know each other get along, and those that don’t know each other don’t get along.”

    Although in Islam, the concept of reincarnation is not recognized, since we believe that we only live and get tested once before the greater life, the eternal one. But the explanation of that saying is that souls met each other before being created in flesh and bones.

    It seems that we are destined for many of us to know each other before ever being born.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 04, 2024 at 12:11 pm

      I like this prayer, Haytam. It’s wise to ask for guidance from the Divine, whatever that looks like to each person. I do this each morning and prayer has become essential on my spiritual path. Thank you for this reminder. :)

      Reply
  7. Am M says

    October 01, 2024 at 7:13 pm

    Thank you so much for this article. Both of you really understand the progression of needs of people and the articles are so well flowing from one issue to the next. Thank you so much for helping me find words for what I feel and thus understand my own experiences better.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 02, 2024 at 9:42 am

      Thank you for your kind words, Am. It’s a pleasure to be of service ๏ปฟ๐Ÿ’œ๏ปฟ

      Reply
  8. a jones says

    October 01, 2024 at 12:41 am

    great article, thank you, the solutions aren’t so clear cut when the relationship is really long and there are kids involved… this in itself becomes exhausting, i wonder how to come back from the negative connection and restore what was once healthy and positive? without breaking up the relationship, or it past that once the toxicity has become habitual. So hard to give up when so much is invested.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 01, 2024 at 10:31 am

      I hear you, A. It’s hard for me to say whether keeping such a connection is worth it. The context is everything here. For instance, is there physical/emotional/mental abuse (if so, run for the hills asap), or is it just emotional disconnection? If so, that can be potentially remedied via relationship counseling, open communication, inner work, and other methods. Other than using this article as a guide, you may like to look up ‘signs of a toxic relationship’ on your search engine and see whether you can relate to many of them. If so, it may be worth making some changes where possible. Much love ๐Ÿ’œ

      Reply
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