Arenโt you sick and tired of running?
As a species, weโre always running and hiding from everything, whether we know it or not. We run from love, forgiveness, mental ideas, other people, beliefs, inner fears โฆ but above all else, we run from ourselves.
We are always running AWAY from something and running TOWARDS something else. But what happens when we manage to catch up to that thing weโve been running towards? Usually, the โfinish lineโ that weโve been working so hard to reach is a mirage. This โmagicalโ special place weโve wanted to reach ends up disintegrating before us, leaving us empty again.
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As we progress through life, we always feel restless. How often have you sat down and just felt needlessly happy โฆ not because you finished a goal, were complemented by another or bought something cool โฆ but for no reason whatsoever? Just for the joy and honor of being alive?
Blaise Pascal once said, โAll of humanityโs problems stem from manโs inability to sit quietly in a room.โ Pay attention to this sentence; it is overflowing with wisdom. This simple, but unspeakably powerful observation, points to the heart of our problem: restlessness that comes from a fear of meeting ourselves.
Why are we so afraid to meet ourselves as we are? Why are we terrified to sit down with the thoughts and emotions that cause us great pain?
We are forever aiming for something else. We are forever trying to BE someone else. We can never quite be happy with us, as we are, right now.
How long do you think it would take for you to get restless by just sitting down, and embracing it all as it is โย all the messiness of you and your life? I know that for me it doesnโt take very long. I frequently feel the urge to pace up and down, to run, to fill the empty space inside with some form of addiction.
Why are we so restless? And what can we do? Or not do?
How Everything Around You Triggers Your Inner Restlessness
Society is built on running.
By running, I mean emotional, psychological, and spiritual running. Without movement, society would collapse. Without consumers, there would be no one to buy, and consequently, no one to sell. With no one to sell, everything crumbles. Do we need a new social structure? I donโt know โย that is not the scope of this article.
What I do want to point out โย or remind you of โย is how the surrounding world perpetuates the desire to run and hide. This is not a โbadโ thing or a โgoodโ thing; it simply is the way life is right now.
We have social media, magazines, TV shows, movies, education systems, legal structures, and even social reinforcement which constantly instills within us the desire to run. We are told that weโre not attractive enough, young enough, thin enough, smart enough, healthy enough, respected enough, educated enough โย and in the spiritual society, healed enough, โtranscendentโ enough, and even good enough.
We are constantly striving to be โenoughโ according to OTHER peopleโs standards. Innocently, we forget that other people profit from our vulnerability, our confusion, and our insecurities. But they wouldnโt be able to profit from us if we firmly believed, within ourselves, that we are enough.
I will repeat that again: society cannot make us feel lacking or in โneedโ of something if we already feel enough unto ourselves.
But why is it so hard for us to simply feel enough? Why do so few of us truly feel โenoughโ?
How All of Us Are Addicted to Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual Escapism
Running is a form of escapism.
It feels good to run away from things that scare us โย thatโs a simple fact. When we run, we fool ourselves into believing that we have somehow โlostโ whatever was disturbing us.
Not only that, but running is a great distraction. All of the effort put into running exhausts us so that we donโt have time to face what is truly causing us fear or pain.
Running also makes us feel “productive.” Since childhood, we are conditioned by society to believe that life is about โproductivityโ and getting things done. Being a โgood member of societyโ is really only about using your time and energy to run towards some kind of ideal. That ideal might be a nice job, big paychecks, fancy status, good house, sexy partner, or even something as seemingly benign as finding your soulmate or having a big family.
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There is nothing wrong with ideals in and of themselves. The problems arise when we invest all of our hope and happiness into these ideals. Anything that can be taken away from you that you attach to, is a source of pain. Anything outside of yourself that is a source of โhappinessโ will soon perish. Yet many of us donโt stop to realize that. We are too tired from running.
Even the spiritual path is a form of escapism, especially when it is used to bypassย painful elements of life and sugar coat them with fanciful ideas.
In the traditional spiritual path, there is the spiritual seeker who is constantly chasing after spiritual enlightenment. But the moment he/she thinks he/she has obtained enlightenment is the moment self-realization dissolves. Inner emptiness emerges again, and the chase starts all over from square one.
Chasing for more happiness, fulfillment, love, transcendence, is still chasing. And I must stress, there is nothing wrong with chasing. Running is a natural part of life. But if you are exhausted and sick of running from and to something like me, listen up:
There is deep and immense wisdom in your exhaustion.
Your exhaustion is trying to tell you something.
Your exhaustion is teaching you a lesson that perhaps you cannot grasp right now.
Itโs time to slow down and listen.
How to Embrace Your Inner Emptiness and Restlessness
We are so used to running that the moment we stop โฆ we are restless, agitated, and irritable.
The deep conditioning within us to pursue, pursue, pursue, scrapes against our minds. An urge within us arises to find something, run towards something, become someone, or even, lapse back into one of our addictions.
What is restlessness?
Restlessness is the feeling that arises when your Heart and Soul has awakened, but your mind and body are still trying to slow down. In this way, restlessness is kind of like jet lag. The mind and body are still trying to acclimatize to the new reality.
Another analogy is drug withdrawal. You are so used to feeling a certain way, that when you are taken off that drug, you crave to get back on it immediately. Or perhaps, think of a treadmill. Youโve been running for so long, that when you power down the treadmill and stop, your body is still full of adrenaline, and youโre still breathing heavily. It takes a while for you to readjust to a slower, more natural way of living.
If you are feeling restless and exhausted, you are almost certainly experiencing what I have just explained. Your Soul has awakened, but your mental body is trying to slow down and acclimatize.
Not only that, but everything you have been running from is starting to emerge again โย and this can be an extremely difficult and disturbing experience. Once you realize how easy it will be for you, in this period of your life, to become addicted to the โsearch for happinessโ again, you will see how important meeting this restlessness is.
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Restlessness and emptiness, while unnerving and disturbing, are great gifts. Many of the greatest โenlightenedโ souls have gone through this experience. Take three living teachers today: Gangaji, Unmani, and Adyashanti. For a large period of her life Gangaji had been seeking for awakening, until one day, her teacher told her to simply โSTOP.โ This single word awoke her. Unmani, on the other hand, was an intense seeker who broke her leg during a fierce catharsis session. Recovering in hospital for weeks, she became extremely depressed and restless, until she had her moment of ultimate awakening. Adyashanti also experienced intense restlessness and defeat after trying to meditate for many years. Once he accepted defeat and the ensuing emptiness, a whole new world opened.
As we can see, restlessness was a catalyst or precursor of a deeper spiritual awakening. The moment we begin to get tired by the search to become someone special, attain some special state or get more things is the moment a sacred DOOR opens.
If you have the courage to walk through this doorway, or even just the willingness to face this pain, here are some ways to approach it:
1. Ask yourself, โWhat am I running away from?โ
Beneath your discomfort, what are you running away from? What is triggering your desire to escape? What have you not faced? Spend time sincerely asking this question. Write down your thoughts and observations. Pay attention to your feelings.
2. Explore the question, โWhat am I running towards?โ
What is the proposed โsolutionโ to your inner feelings or fears? What form of escapism or addiction do you usually fall into to get away from your emptiness? What feeling, behind the name, object or experience are you pursuing?
3. Spend time alone
Solitude and silence are essential for this time of deep inner work. This is a time of withdrawing from the world and finding out what you are trying to escape from. If you can manage to figure out what you are hiding from and avoiding, you can begin to disassemble it so that the Light can break through again.
4. Openly express any emotions that arise
What feelings accompany this restlessness? Do you feel angry, frustrated, grieved, terrified, depressed or sick? Express these emotions and get them out of your body. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream, even silently. If you need to punch, kick, laugh or moan, do so in a healthy way in private. If you need to express yourself through art, song or dance, do so.
5. Say a Soul Prayer
Your Soul is the ultimate source of wisdom, love, and guidance. In each moment, your Soul is present and watching carefully. Pray to your Soul for guidance through this tough time. Ask for strength, inner clarity, courage, support, and the willingness to face the truth.
6. Practice unconditional presence
Yes, this is hard. Harder than I can possibly express through words. But sitting down, and allowing the sensation to envelop you will help you to process what youโre running from. Not only that, but meeting your fears allows them to be honored, seen, heard, and surrendered.
Asking for the strength of your Soul and the Love of your Heart to support you, sit down and close your eyes. Become aware of all sensations coming and going through your body through mindful attention. What and how do you feel? Become curious. Locate the pressure, tingling, itching, heaviness, hollowness, and other sensations emerge in your body. Breathe deeply and gently, allowing these feelings to be felt. Allow these sensations to stay as long as they like. This openness to experience is known as unconditional presence.
7. Go slowly and get lots of rest
Become aware of the urge to go quickly. In whatever ways you can, slow down. We are so used to rushing everything: our eating, our sleeping, our walking, our speech, our presence with others, our work. Tune into your body and ask it what it needs, and how quickly it can go. You will feel the response.
You also need a lot of rest at this time. Your body, mind, and heart are all processing this shift in your consciousness.
8. Reward yourย willpower
Once you are committed to stopping and facing whatever youโve been running from, youโll realize that willpower plays a big role. It takes a lot of self-restraint, or abstinence, to get past the addiction to running. At times, such abstinence can make life feel dry, heavy, and difficult. Removing the source of empty transient pleasure in place of the eternal ecstasy of the Soul to emerge can sometimes be a long process.
Donโt forget to reward yourself. Take care of yourself and find healthy ways to enjoy life (that wonโt feed the addiction to escapism). Learning how to find balanced pleasure again is paramount to rediscovering your wholeness.
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Tell me, are you a runner? Are you struggling with mental, emotional or spiritual escapism? I know how difficult this addiction can be. Please feel welcome to share your story, or advice, below.
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I don’t remember where I heard this question in meditation circles, but I do remember being asked to meditate on this question. “What are the times in your life when you achieved something, and you soon were looking for something else to fulfill you?” Or something that were in the lines of that. I mean, I knew intellectually, that we are on this “hedonic treadmill,” the formal term in psychology for having an endless unfulfilled desire (look the term up if you wish), but I didn’t understand it practically or emotionally, until I just reflected how throughout my entire life, I actually experienced this idea myself. I just forgot about old things I always wanted, yet when I’ve gotten them, I wanted something else. It feels like there’s a different part of your brain that lights up with more of a response, when you can think of practical examples from your own life and experience, not just thinking in the abstract. So when I hear of any lesson in life these days, I try to think of examples from my own life or at least those I know from their stories, so I can put more abstract ideas into concrete form into my own head. I also recommend Naikan exercises, a Japanese practice from meditation circles. Essentially you ask these three questions daily everyday, at the start of the day and/or the end of the day. It’s just three simple questions, yet asking them everyday to yourself thinking in your head or writing short thoughts down seem to change your whole perspective on life over time. Here are the three questions. 1. What have I received from others? 2. What have I done to give to others? 3. What troubles or difficulties have I caused?
My name is Christy .. I been alone my whole life. So all I do is run. I knew that from a very young age that I would run. I would run because I didn’t want to live somewhere that treated me bad. I run because I never wanted people pick in choose me or them so I count my self out first. I run because I felt out cask. I ran so much from things it became normal. I even self sabotage my own happiness. It wasn’t until I had my third daughter that I realized I just wanted freedom. Freedom of systems rules that went against my rights as a human being. Just to be free from judgement attachments the list goes on. Not being perfect. I also was able to do self Reflection. Never able to give self compassion. So when I show up for me and bet on myself I realized that I was good enough to stop running start healing. My walls was not put up in a day. They won’t come down in one also . I am here to do the work. Thank you for your article . I usually don’t leave a comment on pages. Something told me it was ok to do so. Thank you for reading my short little story of why I ran and stop running and am doing the healing now.
Im most definitely addicted to drugs and spiritual escapism. reading this article Ive realised I need help, thanks heaps
I’m glad to hear the article helped Leem, just be sure not to use the addiction to escapism as something to beat yourself up over, I see many people who do but it’s such a deeply programmed neurological pattern it requires conscious intention and time to reorient toward healthier patterns. :)
This morning I let the universe choose my message and this article is what came up and I am still shaking, this is what I needed so urgently, to be slapped in the face with the truth. I’m such a runner, running from myself trying to make it to “holy healing” since years. Being scared to the bone of stopping the journey even though it felt deeply disturbing whenever I did reach some kind of evolutionary goalpost of experienced inner growth that it suddenly appeared to be meaningless, then continuing restlessly toward the next “achievement” on the road to becoming the very best version of myself. I am so tired, exhausted and frustrated from all this senseless hustle. I will let this truth sink in and take it from there. Right now I’m confused and overwhelmed yet grateful beyond words for your inspiration, like always. Thank you.
This post is so amazing and exactly what I desired to put into words about my core purpose for being of service to the collective. I am here to support people in healing from mental, emotional, physical & spiritual addiction, and you couldn’t have put it into any better words. Am I able to share bits of this information on my Youtube channel if I give credit to you for inspiring me? Thank you so much, truly a blessing to find this. <3
Thank you Vanessa, it’s always beautiful to know these articles touch on insights others share. Feel free to use bits of it, we appreciate links in the description back to this article to help others find us as well :)
When I was 12, I was terrified of the dark in and around our house, for many reasons. One night I was determined to finally face down the darkness that I had run from all my life. I strode down the hill alone as the sun set, shaking with fear. I walked a mile in deepening darkness until I came to the river then retraced my steps, walking, not running uphill to safety. I was terrified but triumphant. I repeated process every night, until I no longer had to walk backwards to see behind or give in to the overriding desire to run. I felt dark presences in many areas but gained control of my fear, by facing it, proving to my self it wouldn’t harm or kill me. I became strong, gaining a willingness of facing down my fears. Come to find out this area I grew up in was once an indigenous peace village, destroyed by the invaders. The local construction company decided to conceal the skeletons they were unearthing in their sandpits by burying them under the roadbeds being built through town, telling no one. So my instincts brought me to learn more than I realized. My life path had brought to my leading many through the paths of healing and this early training helped me tremendously. Blessings to you both for all you share. I lead many seek your wisdoms because it is crucial to survival to know one’s self.
My higher self led me here, I have been asking what it is that I need to see right now? You guys are amazing and I thank you abundantly for putting these resources readily available for the collective. You are appreciated <3
Thank you Ji โค
I have a very invasive habit of discouraging myself it’s impulsive and i usually just give up in a lot of circumstances unless i have no other choice or my pride comes in and says hellya i can do that. I have a weird inferiority superiority complex. I’m not nice to myself at all but I feel superior to a lot of people I’m around. I’m chronically pessimistic and i have a lot of negative feelings towards my family and the depositions i have. Then i tell that thing that i have a wonderful life with people that love my and plenty of “support” but it’s like i cam never really accept that support or its really not what i need. I feel like a child raging inside and just try to maintain aspects of my ego in attempt to “hold onto myself”- as I’ve felt lost from myself since i went through psychosis in june 2018 – i haven’t felt the same since and it made me realise how asleep I’ve been my whole life, and i blame myself for that because I’ve felt like i have always been better or had higher standards tham everyone else. Now i have no self confidence and dwindling self worth, with a very small but hopfully growing will to be vulnurable in front of people, i just feel lost in my own questioning and don’t know where i should start to get better. As if I’m gonna know the solution when i see it; i have a hard time trusting myself with anything at all, even when it comes down to that intuition I’ve subconsciously listened to before in my life. I have a really bad memory which i unconsciously blame for pretty much all my problems – if i could remember the events and feelings and thoughts, i could work through them. But i pretty much live day to day in perceptual hoplessness to my own inability to remember my life. I have a hard time praying because i get these thoughts like “am i doing it right? Am i offending the gods? Can they hear me this way and are they just laughing at me because i would be”
I cry a lot but haven’t been so much lately because i feel like it encourages self pity.
I hope that’s enough information to decipher something from because i don’t like talking about myself because i feel like theres much more important things to worry about since most of the time it doesn’t do anything but reinforce the feelings and insecurities.
Ps I really heard it when it said ‘your soul and heart have woken up but your body and mind want to idle into their usual process’
I have been looking into different philosophies and religions and universal ideas to understand or think more about what this world/experience/life is. Lately I’ve been wanting to learn a lot but the state my brain is currently in is more focused on Soemthing else, perhaps the “get better” factor and reading and thinking more about different things might not help as much as i hope but like you said in this article giving yourself the space you need.
It’s just difficult when w live in a dumbed down society that doesn’t want to improve on anything in a real sense or even thinks through things but rather is sleep walking in this survival-mode psychosis everyone is in. I am very susceptible to this but don’t want to believe so because I’m aware that nothing seems right and nobody else cares. It’s just maddening. I know i have a lot of blocks i need to attend to but am unsure of any approach to actually get better. This article helped me point out that there’s a lot of methods of self improvment that are distracting and I’m gullible and vulnerable because I’m desperate amd at the same time very lazy amd unmotivated. I dont have a job and just lay on my floor all day and think and read for the most part. I’m tired of hearing the same advice that doesnt sound concrete from people who dont understand what I’m going through or what I’m feeling. So here’s my first comment on your website.
Annika you are not alone, I have experienced many of the things you described in your post. In fact there was a stage I could have written it myself but I wasn’t as brave as you. What started to change things for me was when I got tired enough to stop and surrender. Like this article so beautifully described it is very very difficult to stop the searching and start the process of just being, being what you are just the way you are. It’s difficult but not impossible. Start by being whatever it is you want to describe yourself as in this moment and learn to love yourself anyway. Start with one thing…anything and love that. You don’t go away, you are always there following yourself around… So might as well you spend your effort making the relationship work for you, no matter what the end result looks like…May you walk in beauty.
Hi, thanks for the topic, was really enlightening!
I could say that for all my life I had a degree in Escapism, procrastination was my daily lot. Even thought I found some purpose with a great partner, she helped changed my focus from video games to something better but I learned that I had bipolar and ADHD and so thats how I didnt manage to do things as easily as others in some areas.
Keeping battling with depression was very exhausting for me and my partner and wasnt easy and before my partner I managed to go get a job and earn a paycheck so I can feed myself and pay the bills like everyone else.
But in my thirties, I started to slowly think differently, my partner helped see thru beliefs that I didnt needed from charisma christian cult and be more open spiritually. Its been a while now that I feel huge restlessness in me and I tried meditation but couldnt, I kept watching tv shows from internet to keep me busy.
I even thought life had no meaning but the problem is you pointed it: society is built to be constantly on the run and when I tell some that the 40 hours mandatory work week is damaging, most would say but we have to pay the bills.
I got into a situation now that I have lots of debts (from not wanting to search a work for 4 months last time and buying things over the years) and now im jobless again because last job found im too slow for them. So each time I know I have to earn money to feed myself or else im going on the street as my partner wont take the hit for me but deep inside im constantly fed up of participating in the rat race and doing what I cant stand at all: slaving for a system that couldnt care less for the welfare of its citizens but money is everything.
I even paid for computer science college courses but now I feel anxious that I need to work while studying and on top of that the crushing debt.
Seriously with all the stuff going on right now I would prefer to be doing a very simple job and no debt , where I dont have 40 hours to work for and to stop caring about the rest because it is exhausting.
I’ve just realised that yin yang perfectly represents a hug.