Twin flame relationships are among some of the most potent connections of life – and it is said that they are increasing at an unprecedented rate.
Gone are the days of mating for power, royal influence, practicality and religious jurisdiction. Now, more than ever, we are free to meet and greet who we like, comb through thousands of possible suitors on the internet, and commit when we are ready. When else in history have we been granted such freedom?
But with this newfound freedom also comes the potential for immense growth both psychologically and also spiritually. This is where twin flames – also known as “twin souls”—come into the picture. What is so striking about twin flame relationships is that they are cataclysmic in their ability to revolutionize our lives, just as an earthquake is cataclysmic in its potential to transform any landscape.
Because of their sheer power and breath-taking catalytic nature, twin flame relationships are often romanticized, idealized and worshiped in unnecessary and misguided ways just as the false idol is lauded for its imaginary divinity. While the connections that twin flames have are indeed divine, they are also intensely unsettling. And in this article you’ll discover why.
7 Misconceptions About Twin Flame Relationships
If you want comfort, pray for a soul mate. That is my piece of advice. Why? Because soul mate relationships, although challenging at times, are essentially places in which we can feel at ease. Also soul mates (soul + mates) are not always necessarily romantic, and can range from kindred spirits found in friendships, family connections, and even work relationships. On the other hand, it is said that we only have one twin flame that we may or may not reunite with during our lifetimes (hence the binary word “twin”).
Also, the goal of a soul mate is to bridge the separation between “self” and “other.” The goal of the twin flame, however, is much different. In my experience, the role of the twin flame is to aid you in the development of inner wholeness, harmony and self-realization (Oneness) – but this journey certainly isn’t full of sunshine and roses. In fact, the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water: both partners mirror precisely what the other lacks. Understandably this can create divine harmony, but also intense conflict within a relationship.
So what are the most common myths and misconceptions about twin flame relationships? And furthermore, what can you expect if you have truly met your soul’s twin?
Myth 1 – Your twin flame completes you.
Reality – Your twin flame helps you to become more complete. They do not complete you.
It sounds so beautiful to “be completed” by another person, and on one level this is true of twin flames. Twin flames complete us in the sense that they serve as the catalysts to our wholeness. In other words, our twin flames reveal to us what areas we are lacking (in my case it was empathy, humility and compassion). However, our twin flames in and of themselves do not complete us. Why? Because beneath all the layers of beliefs, wounds, conditionings, and ego-masks lies pure, infinite, perfection. How can pure, infinite, perfection ever be incomplete? It only thinks it is incomplete. And that is the role of our twin flames; to remind us of the truth of who we are.
Myth 2 – Your twin flame is a member of the opposite sex.
Reality – Your twin flame might be the same gender as you.
The heterosexual ideal still pervades a lot of twin flame literature. But life doesn’t adhere to traditional thought, religious influence, or even the gender binary system. In reality, your twin flame could be the same sex as you, which might cause you to question your sexuality and other beliefs about life.
Myth 3 – Your twin flame is just like you.
Reality – Your twin flame is most likely your “opposite.”
Although you both share many similarities, you also share a striking number of differences. However, these differences deeply contribute to the relationship rather than taking away from it. For example, while you might be an introvert, your partner might be more outgoing. While they might be more masculine, you might be more feminine. And you will both share opposing strengths and weaknesses, e.g. you might be more thoughtful, they might be more practical; you might be impulsive, they might be measured; you might be calm, they might be anxious, and so forth.
Essentially, you are both the embodiment of the “yin and yang.”
Myth 4 – Your twin flame will come at the right time and be in the right place.
Reality – Your twin flame might appear at the worst possible time.
Or … they might appear at the best possible time. Life isn’t always predictable. For instance, you might meet your twin flame, but discover that they are already married. Or you might connect with your twin flame at a bad time (e.g. during or after a crisis). There is no set rule.
Myth 5 – You will always recognize your twin flame straight away.
Reality – You might not initially recognize your twin flame until much later in life.
We are all at different levels, or stages, of conscious development in life. Sol and I refer to this as “soulful maturity” and speak about this in terms of soul ages (which symbolizes the various points we inhabit on our paths of Wholeness). In this regard, younger souls will have a much harder time distinguishing their twin flames from garden-variety lovers – until they realize that no matter how far they travel, they will always return back to their twins. Older souls, on the other hand, will have a much easier time recognizing their twin flames, but might also be subject to romanticizing or idealizing the connection, resulting in a lot of frustration (which we’ll explore next).
Myth 6 – Twin flame relationships are always happy, smiley, and perfect.
Reality – Twin flame relationships can be tumultuous, overwhelming, and intense.
Is the perfect relationship to you defined by complete harmony? Is the perfect relationship to you characterized by complete understanding, acceptance and humility? While these qualities do define twin flame relationships after many years of inner work, they don’t always. In fact, at the beginning, twin flame relationships can be riddled with the most intense arguments and clashes conceivable. Many people refer to this as “karmic cleansing” where all our faults, flaws, and deepest core wounds are brought to the light to be dealt with and healed. Of course, this can be extremely unsettling, particularly when two big egos are involved in maintaining their illusion of greatness.
The tricky thing is, our twins know precisely what buttons to push, and precisely how to stir up and provoke our greatest fears, shames and secrets like no one ever has before. This is usually not done with malicious intent, but to encourage growth, for both partners empathically feel the others’ pain and desire for their self-realization.
Myth 7 – You’ll immediately be ready to invite your twin flame into your life.
Reality – You might not be ready to open up to your twin flame.
As I mentioned before, our twin flames don’t always arise at the right time and place in our lives. In my own case, I was still in the depths of religious conditioning and dogma when I met Sol, so it took me many months before I could realize the true, deep significance of the connection. In your own case it might take many months, even years to truly fathom the significance of your twin flame who may or may not play an active role in your life, and vice versa. Due to the intensity of twin flame relationships, it is common for them to disintegrate very quickly, and later re-emerge later in life when both partners are emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready.
Share with me below …
Have you ever experienced a twin flame relationship? Finally, what other myths have you come across that have’t been mentioned in this article? Please share your insights below.
Hello, my twin flame is my best friend of 20 years. We met when we were 14, have had babies together, trained together and now have our own salon together. We have always felt there was something different about our friendship often refering to ourselves as being one. It is only the last 6 months that we have been introduced to the term twin flame/soul and it just all makes sense. We have slight telepathic abilities and often shocks our clients when I answer a question she hasn’t even asked yet and we feel each others emotions even when we are apart. This article has helped clarify a few points especially the male/female aspect as we are both female and i am happily married…..although he does accept that she comes part of the package. Our salon is a place full of love and high vibrations and as an empath we attract many people needing compassion and upliftment and we now feel this is our path and with our new self awareness we are excited about our future of healing whether its a haircut helping someone feel better about themselves or a non judgmental ear to talk to…..we have begun our journey and and i am so grateful for everything i have and am xxx
Hello I just learned tonight of of the twin flame and was totally blown away. For years now I’ve always thought of the love of my life as my soulmate. Now learning of a twin flame I realizes how wrong I have been all these years. My story goes back to my teens as I had become friends with my twin flame. She was and still is the most beautiful girl/woman I have ever gazed upon. We spent hours upon hours on the telephone so much so my mom had installed a seperate line in my room so she could have use of her phone when she wanted to use it. We talked about everything and anything and she was the one person who I knew i could be completely open to. I was invited to spend christmas eve with her, her mom and sister for a few years while in high school. I was the only one that her mom left her to go on a car date before she was sixteen. Although we only ever went on one date I was too shy to confess my real feelings for her. We still remained the closest of friends until one Christmas eve. She was dating another guy at the time and her mom invited me to Christmas eve like she had in the past. However this put her in a spot when I showed up. She was furious with her mother and her boyfriend who was the jealous type which made her say that we couldn’t be friends any more. Although this broke my heart and i was to scared to tell her i loved her but still wanted her to be happy so we stopped talking. We lost contact she married that guy I married someone and we both had later divorced. She moved to Michigan from our hometown in PA and many years had passed. Thanks to social media about 20 years later we had reconnected. She and I had started talking again on the phone and picked up right where we had left off. This time I wasnt shy and had proclaimed my love for her then and that I still loved her. We reconnected when she came home to PA for a visit and when hugged each other it was like magic. We made plans to have me move up to Michigan. Due to my situation of having back issues I am not able to work a regular job I didnt have the money to pick up and leave right then and there so time was not on my side. Days became weeks weeks became months and unfortunately for me months became years. This is the time that I also became the runner as you explained in the twin flame relationship. As all my fears came to light. Fear of moving to a place where I only would know her fear of getting there and not being able to support myself since my back is too damaged to work in construction anymore but not damaged enough to get disability. So fear that I wouldn’t be able to support myself and becoming a burden on her. As she also was going through her own stuff. Losing a house to loan ballooning from the housing crash 2008. She could no longer wait. She could no longer be the chaser. She broke it off with me but we are still the closest of friends. Some more time has passed and I am now better physically and no longer fear moving away I have nothing holding me here in PA but I have also have not been loving myself I havent grown I’ve regressed and when I talked to her of trying again she became the runner as she now expressing how our differences would now be an issue and that she doesn’t see how we could make it work. Her fears have surfaced and she thinks that I will resent her for wanting different things. She still loves me she always will as I will always love her. However she feel crap like she is hurting me because she can no longer feel enthusiastic about me coming there. I know I need to grow and love myself again before I can give her a reason to want to be with me as she needs grow to realize that our differences aren’t reason to not be together but can be beneficial to her and my growth
Wow,i am totally blown away..I am gonna start dwelling on this page,cause what you sharing just makes perfect sense and resonates well with me.I love the authenticity and truth on this page..Thank you so much
Hi Aletheia Id just like to thankyou for making this site. This has helped me so much.
Yes I know I am young I am 18 myself and Daniel who is also 18 believed we have found one anothers twin flame. Yes we are young to think this. Yet we truly believe it. Everything described makes perfect sense to us. We click and feel so comfortable like no one else. We feel like we have known each other for years. I wont go into specifics but everything about twin flames I have read only proves to me more the fact that we are made for each other. We broke up 6 months ago, we both having been diagnosed with depressin and anxiety long ago. Just being with one another for long periods brought this back up again as we brought up our deepest insecurities ad wounds that we needed healing from. Unfortunately being as young as we are we are emotionally immature. We both have so many lessons to learn. We have decided to have some space. Both of us not wanting to go but knowing we have individual development to make. WE both tried to move on but couldnt. We can hear each other in our heads, feel one anothers emotions. WE just know where the other is . This journey is so hard at the moment, one day it will get rewarding. We are not talking to one another as we both know we need individual development. This is the hardest thing Ive ever done, knowing I can feel him, knowing we want one another yet not able to physically see one another. Feel one anothers energy. Our egos continuously battle. Its like exactly what described we are twin flames. Thankyou for this article. I have faith that we will snap back together again its just hard as I dont know when, its hard to have faith sometimes. Does anyone have any advice to share on developing yourself and healing….the reunion with a twin flame?
I was dating my soul mate/twin flame for four and a half months a year ago . We grew up together and had the same best friend (girl) . Both of us were always attracted to each other . It has been tumultuous to say the least . Our chemistry is second to none – and I’ve dated dozens of women over the years . She pushed me away because she thought I was too serious , but all I wanted was to date her – not live with or marry . I think she is just scared of being abandoned so she bailed first . We were still talking on the phone and really close after the dates stopped – also we live 75 miles apart . I feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my life and have been breaking down over her since February . I swear we are “made for each other” , it just feels so damn right and relaxed and easy when we’re near each other . Michael H.
I am loving with my twin flame right now. We met when we were both homeless. There was a spark of recognition the first moment we met. But we argue. And everything I hate about myself or haven’t dealt with, he brings up in our fights. We are both hardheaded and stubborn. But there is so much love. So much passion. This is the most difficult relationship I have ever been on, but I want no one else. I can see how I can learn and grow from him. And I how he can do the same. I want that growth. And I want to experience it with him. I have felt, since meeting this man, the greatest sadness, happiness, anger, and love I have ever felt in my life. We are fire in every conceivable way.
I use to feel more in-sync with whom I think is my twin as of 3.5 years ago more than I do now. We have been off and on during the past 3,5 years with the chaser-runner phase and very “turbulent” relationship. What I do not understand is that my TF will cancel dates/rendezvous or not even extend a courteous call that we need to reschedule. I never heard of TF until I met him within the first 5 minutes of our first meeting. Sometimes I wonder if we are more soulmates as we never have in-depth conversations rather they are superficial. He also has the double standards mentality and gets upset when I do what he has done or said in the past. His mental telepathy towards me has “always” blown me away as he is “Very” in-tune to me but for me I seem to be disconnected from that. My lucid dreams no longer have him in them. This past year I have been focusing more on my spiritual oneness during our separation. Now that we are trying again for the 4th time, I have no spiritual support from him and again he is always too busy to make time for us. For example, in the past 4 months we have only seen each other once. I thought TF were inseparable. We mostly talk on a daily basis whether via phone or text. Is there such a thing as “false Twin Flames?” Completely confused and hurt once again! Writing this note has been helpful to the point I believe I have answered my own question. Thank you in advance for your help and input. Loretta
Very accurate writings and observations. Thank you.
My twin flame is my best friend. We are not romantically involved. Both married, live on the opposite coasts of the US. The article above explains a lot. Especially, the part about having the qualities that the other lacks, being opposites in our temperaments, personality type, yet totally alike in how we view the Universe and the abilities of humans to create our own reality, and our limitlessness. We meet on Skype once in a while to talk about spiritual development. Deep deep conversations about such topics that no one we know understands. We have an amazing connection. I feel him from across the continent. I know his mood, I know his concerns, he knows mine. We are brutal with each other when our humanness is limiting us and we are denying our own power. We don’t let the other get away with being less than we are. Sometimes I wish we had met when we were both single because the connection is so profound, but it is sometimes painful. For two people with an undeniable psychic connection we misunderstand one another and get into arguments. Sometimes I feel like this friendship is too hard, too much emotional turmoil. I eliminated that from my life years ago, and this guy comes along in my “golden years” and topples all that peace, yet fulfills my life in ways I can’t begin to explain.
(Partially in response to JeyW – but mostly, I’m feeling lost) “how any living human being is equipped to even find this other person in all of the planet Earth”.
I would have questioned this too when I was younger – and I would have tried to fantasize that one or another person I had been infatuated with was the “one”… But then it happened. I had given up looking for a nice person, given up on love and was going to just look for supportive, nonsexual communication online – since I was a single mother, with no time for anything but work and family. Well, the LEAST likely to be my type of person showed up online, not on a dating site, but in “strictly platonic” on c’list. Which at the time was not riddled with sickos pretending to be normal… or so I thought. His post was simple and short, something about – is it possible to be ‘half’ normal or sane…and it caught my eye. Anyway, after months of scant emails – containing nothing more than our current day events… we decided to IM. He went from a mildly creepy but harmless (from a distance) pen pal… to a funny, thoughtful, supportive conversationalist – who had me laughing and looking forward to chatting with him nightly. My kids would hear me laughing from the other room and admitted being thrilled to hear it, as I guess I’d been mildly depressed for a while. He told me a lot of things that should have turned me away, like doing time for OUI’s and admitted he was still driving illegally…I definitely didn’t condone it, but it also didn’t change anything…. I wasn’t feeling like I was falling in love, but oddly comforted by this total stranger. The IM turned to texting, with a big leap of trust for me, to give him my phone number. One day I mentioned I was getting therapy for a broken finger, at a local hospital. He said he was close by and maybe we could meet each other, finally? I said, ok. So after the session, I waited till a black (sketchy looking) truck pulled up and I opened the door. An equally as sketchy looking person was at the wheel, but I “knew” him in an instant, enough to jump in and give him a hug. From the hug, we even kissed – and as we did, a car driving by caught us in it’s headlights and beeped!! We cracked up and he called me “a sight for sore eyes”. We only chatted for a short time, as I had to get home. But I found it strange how familiar he felt to me and how comfortable I felt with the whole thing. Fast forward a few years, after tumultuous times and we were no longer romantically involved. He began drinking again, after we had been taking time off from each other. I felt a draw to spend time with him – and before I went over one day, I stopped at the grocery store to get him something to eat. As I passed a shelf with books, I noticed one who’s author shared his birth name (he’s adopted). Knowing he needed something to read, I grabbed it. It was called “The Poet Prince”. I have never been a reader and hadn’t heard of the book, but it was only $7 so I bought it. He began to read it and the next time I was there he said – “hey, there’s a part in the book you got me, that I want you to read”…he got the book and struggled for a while to find the page. When he did, he showed me what to read. It said something about twin souls and I said “yea, so??” I wasn’t religious at all and he wasn’t the spiritual type, though he said he read the bible twice in jail! But he said “that sounds like us”. Well that was pretty much all he ever had to say about it, from that point on – but of course, it intrigued me enough to research it…since there were so many things that stopped us in our tracks, from telepathy, to dreams and too often, saying what the other was thinking. Anyway – troublesome as well as pleasant time has passed and now we live and work together. We’re not romantically involved, since he had a dark side (along with drinking) in that respect, that caused me to run a couple times previously. I personally don’t have a problem with drinking, but I’ve given four years ago, when he did. We both have become abstinent as well, since we don’t have those feelings for each other – but can’t imagine having them with anyone else either. I know he self-satisfies, but he used to be into porn – which I haven’t seen any sign of for the past 4 years. It seems like, as with the alcohol – I’ve given up anything that may be a trigger for him. I don’t intellectualize any of it, but have realized over time what occurred. We still think the same thoughts, at the same time. It’s NOT pleasant, I want to run – I want to have a normal, romantic relationship – with passion and mutual attraction… then again, be by myself too. How do I do it? That’s why I came to this place… I don’t want to be his positive image – while giving up my true self. Can I break free?
Aletheia, this is extremely helpful and timely for me. Thank You Rickie
is there anywhere where you cover the issue of the false tf? thanks
Not yet Rina. But this twin flame test might help with this issue: https://lonerwolf.com/twin-flame-test/ Hope that helps. :)
As lovely as all this sounds, I cannot think of a single twin flame “couple” in recorded human history. Twin flame couple of WHAT? Lovers? Parent/child? Siblings? Friends? Who even decided this union mimics any earthbound relationship principle?
Every single internet site extolling twin flame relationships is painting it as a divine lover/partner, which is understandable. However, that is a more of a high level soulmate connection where both partners MEET and forge a parallel/mutual life path. But a twin flame, by definition, is a connection based on ORIGIN. And how any living human being is equipped to even find this other person in all of the planet Earth (assuming that other half is even incarnated at the same time) would be about as likely as winning the lottery 3 times.
Bottom line: anyone claiming to be in physical union with a twin flame is most certainly mistaken.
Thank-you: All your writings explain this for me. I am an educated thinker and in all my deliberations/thoughts/theories I just couldn’t work us out… You’re writings explain it completely. Not sure he would buy into it though. Last time we were intimately together another explosion happened and I remember blurting “oh we’re not ready to be together yet…” I was due so went back to the other end of the Earth (where I currently live) for 16months and suffered. From all your writings, in that time, I believe I evolved from mature to old soul… We met up recently and I was going to introduce this idea but I didn’t believe he was ready. I believe more time and realisations have to pass/happen … time will tell. Thank-you Luna & Sol.
I am very certain that I’ve meet my twin flame but unfortunately I feel like we are in the turmoil stage. I’ve been with many people before and have been in love but this feels different than anything else and i feel we both are in need of healing but it’s hard to know and say. What do you say?
I thought I was okay with the separation , my understanding was if separated it meant we both had something to work on . So i got busy working on me . Then last night I had an upsetting dream that my twin was dying , not in the physical sense but in the way a person dies a little everyday that is not leading a happy life . This made me sad and want to reach out but I have found it better to not be impulsive . Now I have to figure out if it is me projecting . Maybe I’m not had cool with it like o thought . Or it is a contact of his subconscious . I have noticed sincerity the separation I have not been so self assured . That I’m sure is my old baggage and nothing to do with my twin. I guess time will tell ..if it’s what I believe it to be than time is irrealavant .
Wow. What a painful life to live. Analyzing, comparing, judging, doubting. It looks like you don’t listen to your intuition. The first little nudge you had to reach out, then the ego kicked in. “Don’t do it. You’ve been hurt before. Let’s be safe and do nothing. At least we are in predictable situation “ . Ego (conscious mind) has its purpose. But, is it a life to stay in a comfort zone and feel miserable for the rest of it? Personally, I came to this earth to experience wide spectrum of human emotions. If I wanted to be in bliss all the time I would stay at the source chilling being lazy. The beauty of coming here is being able to feel: love, pain, dispair, excitement….. Ray Bradbury said it the best “If we listened to our intellect we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical: “It’s gonna go wrong.” Or “She’s going to hurt me.” Or,”I’ve had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore . . .” Well, that’s nonsense. You’re going to miss life. You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.” I choose love over fear
I just felt I had to share it with you. Interpretation of dreams is never literal. And what I felt reading your message was that either that persons interest in you is dying or that person is going through spiritual transformation shedding old self becoming true self. Your interpretation I feel was a projection of your own feelings. That’s just my take on it.
After reading this very intriguing article, I find myself at a cross roads.. Two years ago I met a woman who introduced me to spirituality and the synchronicity was out of this world. Signs and symbols where showing up at a mind boggling rate. My spiritual journey and soul work started after meeting her. She; however, was and still is in a relationship. Which seemed to be a normal occurrence with twins. After reading this and doing some deeper soul searching i have also become aware that a woman I formerly dated for two years would actually fit the bill in a more profound way. My current “friend” and I have many things in common, and we have a very close, honest and open connection. But she is more like me, than not. My former partner and i have remained friends following the relationship and there is still some romantic tension between us. Good tension that is. She is more my opposite and can be infuriating to be around at times because she points out things that I should be working on. eg. disciplining my son. Waiting for things to happen, etc..We still enjoy each others company very much but sometimes I just want her to back off. So. Who would be the better fit in the twin process. Part of me believes it’s the friend who’s in a relationship, and part of me thinks it’s the one who drives me nuts. (Oddly enough I think I just answered my own question.) Any helpful advice or input would be greatly appreciated.
My name is Michelle and i’m currently with my twin flame and until I started reading these articles online which I happened across at random when doing research for a friend on her horoscope…im so glad I saw this because I’ve always known it in my heart but with all the heartache we’ve been through up until now from my depression and anxiety to the insane amount of conflict and hardship because of my issues. I resisted it so much that I pushed him towards someone else at one point but some how we managed to surpass it all. We were in the surrender and dissolution stage these past few months until last night. When I discovered this while laying in bed together i decided to read it out to him. we’ve both moved into the stage of openness as of last night because after reading these articles we looked at each other with tears in our eyes and smiled. I knew exactly what he was thinking because I also felt it “holy shit we almost lost each other but some how without even knowing this info we pulled through”. We were destined to make it to this point and with this new knowledge we are going to grow even more and stay together we just know it. This has also made me realize that my best friend who’s relationship with her boyfriend has always been so much the same they’ve been at the same stages as us just shortly behind us which makes sense we both found our twin flames just 6 months appart from each other…i shared this with her just now and she to passed the twin flame test and says she 100% sees what stage her and her partner are in and she’s going to keep trying despite almost giving up she says she’s still going to keep chasing her runner as they’re just getting passed their runner and chaser stage…we’re two best friends of 10 years and we found our twin flames together. THANK YOU Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol for this life changing realization as we were both doubting if this was truely the one and almost gave up.
I believe I met my twin flame at an early age, in high school. She was 2 years older than me and was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen so there was no way I was asking her out.
3 years later we were working in the same place and we became friends/ flirted but I was still too intimidated to ask her out. She bravely asked me out and we travelled through Europe together and moved in with each other. I come from a poor family and was always ashamed of not having “enough”, especially for her.
She decided to try other things after about 3 years and was fairly up front about it so she moved out to an apartment in the same town. I had no contact with her during that time as it would have been too painful for me. 6 months later she knocked on my door and asked to come back. Of course I said yes as I never wanted her to leave.
3 years later she was lurking in the front room where the lights were off. I asked her what she was doing and she tried to deflect attention. Turns out she was waiting for the mail to arrive be cause she had applied to a “university” out of state and 1000 miles away completely behind my back.
I felt really disrespected but didn’t argue. I just asked her when she was leaving. Instead of just letting me go she tried to convince me that I was included so I let my love for her top my instincts that told me to let her go. I told her that the degree she was looking at wouldn’t pan out and that she just wanted me as a guaranteed room mate.
Well, the degree was VERY expensive and didn’t help to get her a better job so I felt doubly betrayed.
Eventually I found a Polaroid of her naked hidden in a drawer along with a photo of her high school boyfriend. I was chrushed. My mom cheated on my dad which ruined their marriage and now I felt the same was happening to me.
Years later I asked her about the photo and she said it was meant as bait to get me more interested in our sex life, or lack there of.
Ouch.
Well, I broke up with her and moved back home. She moved to Colorado. 3 years later I was at a concert near my home when I ran across her. I approached her but she had no idea who I was. I thought she was joking so I told her that we did, in fact know each other. She still stared at me with a blank face so I shrugged my shoulders and turned to leave. She then quickly remembered me and tried to apologize. We had some small talk and then I wished her well and went into the show. Thankfully I didn’t meet the guy she was with as that would have been to painful. It turns out her boyfriend was into hard drugs so she was out of it on pills because 6 weeks later the guy died of an overdose.
She still couldn’t wake up and was pregnant from a different guy 2 months later.
We had no contact for many years as I just wanted her to be happy with her new life but I thought about her everyday. I have had no relationships since breaking up with her as I feel I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.
After 16 years I tried to contact her and we were able to communicate on some levels but she has chosen to embody everything she knows I disagree with. Politically, socially, etc. so it feels like we can’t be together anymore.
I truly wish I could stop thinking about her but I currently am unable to.
Gregory, it’s hard to write it down, isn’t it? It’s hard to make it sound like it makes sense. I’m sorry for your experience, mine is weird too. I think you need to accept a soul mate into your life – to help you stop thinking about her… Don’t block the next possibility and just go with the flow. You deserve happiness too. (maybe you have, since I just noticed it’s been a year. I wish you luck)