Twin flame relationships are among some of the most potent connections of life – and it is said that they are increasing at an unprecedented rate.
Gone are the days of mating for power, royal influence, practicality and religious jurisdiction. Now, more than ever, we are free to meet and greet who we like, comb through thousands of possible suitors on the internet, and commit when we are ready. When else in history have we been granted such freedom?
But with this newfound freedom also comes the potential for immense growth both psychologically and also spiritually. This is where twin flames – also known as “twin souls”—come into the picture.
What is so striking about twin flame relationships is that they are cataclysmic in their ability to revolutionize our lives, just as an earthquake is cataclysmic in its potential to transform any landscape.
Because of their sheer power and breath-taking catalytic nature, twin flame relationships are often romanticized, idealized and worshiped in unnecessary and misguided ways just as the false idol is lauded for its imaginary divinity.
While the connections that twin flames have are indeed divine, they are also intensely unsettling. And in this article you’ll discover why.
PLEASE NOTE:
Although the idea of having a Twin Flame can be helpful, especially as spiritual partnerships are a beautiful avenue of growth, please keep in mind the following when reading this article:
- Firstly, “twin flame” is a theoretical mental idea meaning that it isn’t objectively true, but is instead a helpful label that can describe a unique relationship we might experience in life – as such, please try not to attach too strongly to it, otherwise it can cause you suffering (aka. take it all with a grain of salt!)
- Secondly, twin flames don’t “complete” you, instead, they help to support your spiritual evolution – no one and nothing “completes” you and you don’t need a twin flame in your life as a prerequisite to evolve or feel happy
- Thirdly, please try to avoid misusing the concept of having a twin flame to (1) dream of a “better” and “more spiritual” partner, (2) sabotage your current relationship, (3) pressure your pre-existing partner to fit into the twin flame role – this is all an unnecessary mind game, so please love and cherish what you have already (provided it’s a relatively healthy relationship)
With that said, enjoy. :)
7 Misconceptions About Twin Flame Relationships
If you want comfort, pray for a soul mate. That is my piece of advice. Why? Because soul mate relationships, although challenging at times, are essentially places in which we can feel at ease. Also soul mates (soul + mates) are not always necessarily romantic, and can range from kindred spirits found in friendships, family connections, and even work relationships. On the other hand, it is said that we only have one twin flame that we may or may not reunite with during our lifetimes (hence the binary word “twin”).
Also, the goal of a soul mate is to bridge the separation between “self” and “other.” The goal of the twin flame, however, is much different. In my experience, the role of the twin flame is to aid you in the development of inner wholeness, harmony and self-realization (Oneness) – but this journey certainly isn’t full of sunshine and roses. In fact, the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water: both partners mirror precisely what the other lacks. Understandably this can create divine harmony, but also intense conflict within a relationship.
So what are the most common myths and misconceptions about twin flame relationships? And furthermore, what can you expect if you have truly met your soul’s twin?
Myth 1 – Your twin flame completes you.
Reality – Your twin flame helps you to become more complete. They do not complete you.
It sounds so beautiful to “be completed” by another person, and on one level this is true of twin flames. Twin flames complete us in the sense that they serve as the catalysts to our wholeness. In other words, our twin flames reveal to us what areas we are lacking (in my case it was empathy, humility, and compassion). However, our twin flames in and of themselves do not complete us. Why? Because beneath all the layers of beliefs, wounds, conditionings, and ego-masks lies pure, infinite, perfection. How can pure, infinite, perfection ever be incomplete? It only thinks it is incomplete. And that is the role of our twin flames; to remind us of the truth of who we are. I explore this concept more in my Twin Flame book.
Myth 2 – Your twin flame is a member of the opposite sex.
Reality – Your twin flame might be the same gender as you.
The heterosexual ideal still pervades a lot of twin flame literature. But life doesn’t adhere to traditional thought, religious influence, or even the gender binary system. In reality, your twin flame could be the same sex as you, which might cause you to question your sexuality and other beliefs about life.
Myth 3 – Your twin flame is just like you.
Reality – Your twin flame is most likely your “opposite.”
Although you both share many similarities, you also share a striking number of differences. However, these differences deeply contribute to the relationship rather than taking away from it. For example, while you might be an introvert, your partner might be more outgoing. While they might be more masculine, you might be more feminine. And you will both share opposing strengths and weaknesses, e.g. you might be more thoughtful, they might be more practical; you might be impulsive, they might be measured; you might be calm, they might be anxious, and so forth.
Essentially, you are both the embodiment of the “yin and yang.”
Myth 4 – Your twin flame will come at the right time and be in the right place.
Reality – Your twin flame might appear at the worst possible time.
Or … they might appear at the best possible time. Life isn’t always predictable. For instance, you might meet your twin flame, but discover that they are already married. Or you might connect with your twin flame at a bad time (e.g. during or after a crisis). There is no set rule.
Myth 5 – You will always recognize your twin flame straight away.
Reality – You might not initially recognize your twin flame until much later in life.
We are all at different levels, or stages, of conscious development in life. Sol and I refer to this as “soulful maturity” and speak about this in terms of soul ages (which symbolizes the various points we inhabit on our paths of Wholeness). In this regard, younger souls will have a much harder time distinguishing their twin flames from garden-variety lovers – until they realize that no matter how far they travel, they will always return back to their twins. Older souls, on the other hand, will have a much easier time recognizing their twin flames, but might also be subject to romanticizing or idealizing the connection, resulting in a lot of frustration (which we’ll explore next).
Twin Flames & Soul Mates:
Learn how to forge true, deep, and enduring twin flame and soul mate love – no matter what stage you’re at, starting right now. This book is for anyone seeking to find and create an authentic, fulfilling, and awakened relationship.
Myth 6 – Twin flame relationships are always happy, smiley, and perfect.
Reality – Twin flame relationships can be tumultuous, overwhelming, and intense.
Is the perfect relationship to you defined by complete harmony? Is the perfect relationship to you characterized by complete understanding, acceptance and humility? While these qualities do define twin flame relationships after many years of inner work, they don’t always. In fact, at the beginning, twin flame relationships can be riddled with the most intense arguments and clashes conceivable. Many people refer to this as “karmic cleansing” where all our faults, flaws, and deepest core wounds are brought to the light to be dealt with and healed. Of course, this can be extremely unsettling, particularly when two big egos are involved in maintaining their illusion of greatness.
The tricky thing is, our twins know precisely what buttons to push, and precisely how to stir up and provoke our greatest fears, shames and secrets like no one ever has before. This is usually not done with malicious intent, but to encourage growth, for both partners empathically feel the others’ pain and desire for their self-realization.
Myth 7 – You’ll immediately be ready to invite your twin flame into your life.
Reality – You might not be ready to open up to your twin flame.
As I mentioned before, our twin flames don’t always arise at the right time and place in our lives. In my own case, I was still in the depths of religious conditioning and dogma when I met Sol, so it took me many months before I could realize the true, deep significance of the connection. In your own case it might take many months, even years to truly fathom the significance of your twin flame who may or may not play an active role in your life, and vice versa. Due to the intensity of twin flame relationships, it is common for them to disintegrate very quickly, and later re-emerge later in life when both partners are emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready.
Have you ever experienced a twin flame relationship? Finally, what other myths have you come across that have’t been mentioned in this article? Please share your insights below.
Thank you so much for this! Here is my story. I met my twin flame while flying in to another city to visit a mutual friend. He introduced me to his friend (my TF) and I knew my whole life was about to catapult into another universe. I was newly married when my TF and I met, to an abusive man I didn’t love. We spent the week we met in awe of the instant connection, the burning chemistry, the way we couldn’t even link eyes without losing all composure. The first night they came back to my hotel, we thought we were going to hook up. We spent the whole night talking. We couldn’t get enough of each other. When we finally were intimate the next night, it was explosive. That whole week we alternated between hours of sex, and then talking, and then more sex. We knew so much about each other before we ever told each other. I read them in ways that terrified them. I guessed things about them that they had never told anyone. We told each other all the reasons why we’d never work in the long run. All of our flaws. We tried… Read more »
Warning: This a long story that spans 4 years in great detail and English isn’t my first lanbguage so sorry for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. I’m turning 19 in a few months so i’m still very young butI do believe i have found my twin flame. She went to the same school as me but a year lower than me. I met her in the 2017-2018 school year. At first i just thought that she was weird and said a lor of random things that i didn’t care about at the time cause i didn’t know her well enough. Later on we went to trip to the natural-historic museum and she sat at the back of the bus with me and my friend, that’s where i felt a real connection and where i first felt her energy. She first dated my friend for about a month wich to me was like ‘damn missed oppurtunity but im happy for my friend.’ They broke up and had a lot of fights afterwards but i still really liked her and enjoyed her vibe, we were also chatting more on social media and just getting closer in general. During summerbrake we made… Read more »
I met my TF almost 18 years ago. It has been a long, strange, hard, confusing road. I’m more of a mystic than he, and when I first looked in his eyes, I *KNEW* he has a significant role to play. My exact thought was, “Oh, there you are. I am SO not ready for this.” Very intense. I was dealing with a lot and just not ready for that type of commitment and connection. We would d up jumping in too fast and round 1 did not work out. A few years later, after the death of my soul mate, round 2. I guess you could say I wasn’t emotionally available either of those times. We kept in touch in a friendly way for the next 2 years… Until I told him I was engaged. He showed up at my door professing his love, but having trust issues, I saw it as a game he was playing and walked away. A few years later after we were both married, we confessed our feelings. The connection remains as strong as ever. We will now go years without speaking, but I’ve recently learned he is as haunted by the missed opportunities… Read more »
I was on my twin flame journey for about 5 years. I remember reading this very article and how it did not resonate with my experience at all. Let’s just say things have changed a lot in a short amount of time! The connection was INTENSE for a long time. We had some physical similarities, I was born in Europe and he was born in South America, yet we both kind of look like we originated from the same place. I tried to push it away/ignore the connection, as I didn’t believe in the term twin flames at the time.I gave up though when his name started popping up everywhere I went and all the signs became very loud! Every time our eyes met it felt like my whole body was on fire and our 5d connection was extremely strong, even in the so-called “separation” phase. Our connection in the 3d was rather short lived. As I worked through all my shadows and finally after 5 years came into inner union with myself, I felt somewhat strained by the connection. That feeling just grew the more I came into inner union. A very physical thing that happened as evidence of… Read more »
100%. This is probably the only twin flame resource I’ve found that doesn’t romanticize nor reject the twin flame experience. I caused myself so much harm and pain when I bought into all the gurus selling twin flames as some sort of ideal, the perfect fairytale love story, a life goal, and the treasure at the end of the maze that is “the universe’s energetic tests.” In reality, it’s none of those things, and all that’s left is an incredibly beautiful experience… One that I always joke I would never wish upon my worst enemies (which is a joke in itself, because, no, I actually really wouldn’t wish it upon anyone , but also because all this spiritual growth means I no longer have enemies.) The twin flame experience is neither part of me nor outside of me, it feels integral to my experience yet meaningless all at the same time. How do you explain to people that it (the twin flame experience on steroids) is what got you here but that, when you bask in your own completeness and all the growth you’ve achieved on your own accord, it admittedly means very little in the grand scheme of the… Read more »
After reading this and the other article , everything makes sense about how I’ve been feeling, i met this dark and mysterious man 9 years ago he worked with my brother-in-law , it never went anywhere besides just meeting afew times but every time there was this strong pull towards him, we re-met in may this year the moment he walked in my door i had this strong yank on my soul i wanted to be right beside him but anxiousness was at play because i don’t let any man into my home but with him it scared the living daylights out of me because it was all like deja vu , like I’ve known him all my life and in an past life we we’re lovers or something, I could trust him I was safe with him , he pulled the pin before it could be an relationship due to health issues which I’m fine with I only want the best for him. this has been hard because I fell hard for him so this trying to let go of him has been killing me, he definitely has changed my life, My dreams that surfaced a week before we… Read more »
I’ve been in a relationship with my twin flame for about 23 years. I’ve often run away and so has he in disgust and anger swearing I would never ever have anything to do with him again. And I’m a male and he’s a male and I don’t like that. He thinks he’s bisexual or gay and I’m absolutely not. We have analyzed our relationship and and tried to find it for many years but it is only this morning that I happen to come across the idea of a twin flame which is odd as I am a researcher a reader a history major in fact. Having read different definitions of the twin flame I was both relieved should be able to put a name on it and and at the same time angered by the fact that this person who I have loved and hated but I’ve come to except unconditionally ( I still get bothered by him and I still think he has Flaws, Although I am aware that projection would say that tha I see are the flaws that I see in myself… I am a big follower of a course in miracles) This entire webpage… Read more »
I’ve always thought my husband was my soulmate. When we first met it was this insane, intense attraction. And it was indeed the worst time for me to have met him. The attraction, the needing, the inseparable feeling we still have after 14 years, even with much turbulence. This connection sometimes feels like torture. It’s so heavy. We are exact opposites. He is a critical, introverted Virgo. A “No” man. And I’m an outgoing, overly positive Gemini, yes to everything. He teaches me structure and discipline, and I teach him joy and compassion. We drive each other crazy! I want my own house. I want to paint on the walls and let racoons in the house. He wants sterile, pristine perfection. More than anything though, we want each other.
Thank you for making this, I have been trying to find good sources for this, and this is one of the few of them that I trust. I get mine 10 years ago, and I have been throw hellfire over this person. He wasn’t even supposed to technically be at my college where we first met because he wasn’t a student. I also liked how you mentioned the heteronormative view of Twin Flames because Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine get used to describe each flame and I’m non-binary, who leans more towards masculine ways of expression. So it always made me uncomfortable to hear those terms used in that manner, because it seemed like people use them as another word for “man” and “woman”. I also have to mention how I definitely approved of how you mentioned the romanticization of Twin Flames, since even in literature it seems like people understand the level of love and devotion but never truly understand what it feels like when that person is kept away from you. It’s like people are unwilling to explore this darker aspect of the relationship, and tbh it’s almost borderline offensive and as a writer I am going to… Read more »
Just yesterday I realized that the waiting is overwhelming me. I am getting thinner and thinner everyday with no sickness.
So I decided to walk away despite all the inspiration and intuition I had. But the greatest thing about it is that I have discovered myself. I have realized where I am so wrong in my life journey. The career I chooses,the relationship and life paths. So when I was telling his friend yesterday I told him that the only one thin I am grateful for is my Alignment. And now I feel peace and relaxed. Now reading this through has helped me to understand things so we’ll.