Twin flame relationships are among some of the most potent connections of life – and it is said that they are increasing at an unprecedented rate.
Gone are the days of mating for power, royal influence, practicality and religious jurisdiction. Now, more than ever, we are free to meet and greet who we like, comb through thousands of possible suitors on the internet, and commit when we are ready. When else in history have we been granted such freedom?
But with this newfound freedom also comes the potential for immense growth both psychologically and also spiritually. This is where twin flames – also known as “twin souls”—come into the picture. What is so striking about twin flame relationships is that they are cataclysmic in their ability to revolutionize our lives, just as an earthquake is cataclysmic in its potential to transform any landscape.
Because of their sheer power and breath-taking catalytic nature, twin flame relationships are often romanticized, idealized and worshiped in unnecessary and misguided ways just as the false idol is lauded for its imaginary divinity. While the connections that twin flames have are indeed divine, they are also intensely unsettling. And in this article you’ll discover why.
7 Misconceptions About Twin Flame Relationships
If you want comfort, pray for a soul mate. That is my piece of advice. Why? Because soul mate relationships, although challenging at times, are essentially places in which we can feel at ease. Also soul mates (soul + mates) are not always necessarily romantic, and can range from kindred spirits found in friendships, family connections, and even work relationships. On the other hand, it is said that we only have one twin flame that we may or may not reunite with during our lifetimes (hence the binary word “twin”).
Also, the goal of a soul mate is to bridge the separation between “self” and “other.” The goal of the twin flame, however, is much different. In my experience, the role of the twin flame is to aid you in the development of inner wholeness, harmony and self-realization (Oneness) – but this journey certainly isn’t full of sunshine and roses. In fact, the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water: both partners mirror precisely what the other lacks. Understandably this can create divine harmony, but also intense conflict within a relationship.
So what are the most common myths and misconceptions about twin flame relationships? And furthermore, what can you expect if you have truly met your soul’s twin?
Myth 1 – Your twin flame completes you.
Reality – Your twin flame helps you to become more complete. They do not complete you.
It sounds so beautiful to “be completed” by another person, and on one level this is true of twin flames. Twin flames complete us in the sense that they serve as the catalysts to our wholeness. In other words, our twin flames reveal to us what areas we are lacking (in my case it was empathy, humility, and compassion). However, our twin flames in and of themselves do not complete us. Why? Because beneath all the layers of beliefs, wounds, conditionings, and ego-masks lies pure, infinite, perfection. How can pure, infinite, perfection ever be incomplete? It only thinks it is incomplete. And that is the role of our twin flames; to remind us of the truth of who we are. I explore this concept more in my Twin Flame book.
Myth 2 – Your twin flame is a member of the opposite sex.
Reality – Your twin flame might be the same gender as you.
The heterosexual ideal still pervades a lot of twin flame literature. But life doesn’t adhere to traditional thought, religious influence, or even the gender binary system. In reality, your twin flame could be the same sex as you, which might cause you to question your sexuality and other beliefs about life.
Myth 3 – Your twin flame is just like you.
Reality – Your twin flame is most likely your “opposite.”
Although you both share many similarities, you also share a striking number of differences. However, these differences deeply contribute to the relationship rather than taking away from it. For example, while you might be an introvert, your partner might be more outgoing. While they might be more masculine, you might be more feminine. And you will both share opposing strengths and weaknesses, e.g. you might be more thoughtful, they might be more practical; you might be impulsive, they might be measured; you might be calm, they might be anxious, and so forth.
Essentially, you are both the embodiment of the “yin and yang.”
Myth 4 – Your twin flame will come at the right time and be in the right place.
Reality – Your twin flame might appear at the worst possible time.
Or … they might appear at the best possible time. Life isn’t always predictable. For instance, you might meet your twin flame, but discover that they are already married. Or you might connect with your twin flame at a bad time (e.g. during or after a crisis). There is no set rule.
Myth 5 – You will always recognize your twin flame straight away.
Reality – You might not initially recognize your twin flame until much later in life.
We are all at different levels, or stages, of conscious development in life. Sol and I refer to this as “soulful maturity” and speak about this in terms of soul ages (which symbolizes the various points we inhabit on our paths of Wholeness). In this regard, younger souls will have a much harder time distinguishing their twin flames from garden-variety lovers – until they realize that no matter how far they travel, they will always return back to their twins. Older souls, on the other hand, will have a much easier time recognizing their twin flames, but might also be subject to romanticizing or idealizing the connection, resulting in a lot of frustration (which we’ll explore next).
Myth 6 – Twin flame relationships are always happy, smiley, and perfect.
Reality – Twin flame relationships can be tumultuous, overwhelming, and intense.
Is the perfect relationship to you defined by complete harmony? Is the perfect relationship to you characterized by complete understanding, acceptance and humility? While these qualities do define twin flame relationships after many years of inner work, they don’t always. In fact, at the beginning, twin flame relationships can be riddled with the most intense arguments and clashes conceivable. Many people refer to this as “karmic cleansing” where all our faults, flaws, and deepest core wounds are brought to the light to be dealt with and healed. Of course, this can be extremely unsettling, particularly when two big egos are involved in maintaining their illusion of greatness.
The tricky thing is, our twins know precisely what buttons to push, and precisely how to stir up and provoke our greatest fears, shames and secrets like no one ever has before. This is usually not done with malicious intent, but to encourage growth, for both partners empathically feel the others’ pain and desire for their self-realization.
Myth 7 – You’ll immediately be ready to invite your twin flame into your life.
Reality – You might not be ready to open up to your twin flame.
As I mentioned before, our twin flames don’t always arise at the right time and place in our lives. In my own case, I was still in the depths of religious conditioning and dogma when I met Sol, so it took me many months before I could realize the true, deep significance of the connection. In your own case it might take many months, even years to truly fathom the significance of your twin flame who may or may not play an active role in your life, and vice versa. Due to the intensity of twin flame relationships, it is common for them to disintegrate very quickly, and later re-emerge later in life when both partners are emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready.
Have you ever experienced a twin flame relationship? Finally, what other myths have you come across that have’t been mentioned in this article? Please share your insights below.