Twin flame relationships are among some of the most potent connections of life – and it is said that they are increasing at an unprecedented rate.
Gone are the days of mating for power, royal influence, practicality and religious jurisdiction. Now, more than ever, we are free to meet and greet who we like, comb through thousands of possible suitors on the internet, and commit when we are ready. When else in history have we been granted such freedom?
But with this newfound freedom also comes the potential for immense growth both psychologically and also spiritually. This is where twin flames – also known as “twin souls”—come into the picture. What is so striking about twin flame relationships is that they are cataclysmic in their ability to revolutionize our lives, just as an earthquake is cataclysmic in its potential to transform any landscape.
Because of their sheer power and breath-taking catalytic nature, twin flame relationships are often romanticized, idealized and worshiped in unnecessary and misguided ways just as the false idol is lauded for its imaginary divinity. While the connections that twin flames have are indeed divine, they are also intensely unsettling. And in this article you’ll discover why.
7 Misconceptions About Twin Flame Relationships
If you want comfort, pray for a soul mate. That is my piece of advice. Why? Because soul mate relationships, although challenging at times, are essentially places in which we can feel at ease. Also soul mates (soul + mates) are not always necessarily romantic, and can range from kindred spirits found in friendships, family connections, and even work relationships. On the other hand, it is said that we only have one twin flame that we may or may not reunite with during our lifetimes (hence the binary word “twin”).
Also, the goal of a soul mate is to bridge the separation between “self” and “other.” The goal of the twin flame, however, is much different. In my experience, the role of the twin flame is to aid you in the development of inner wholeness, harmony and self-realization (Oneness) – but this journey certainly isn’t full of sunshine and roses. In fact, the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water: both partners mirror precisely what the other lacks. Understandably this can create divine harmony, but also intense conflict within a relationship.
So what are the most common myths and misconceptions about twin flame relationships? And furthermore, what can you expect if you have truly met your soul’s twin?
Myth 1 – Your twin flame completes you.
Reality – Your twin flame helps you to become more complete. They do not complete you.
It sounds so beautiful to “be completed” by another person, and on one level this is true of twin flames. Twin flames complete us in the sense that they serve as the catalysts to our wholeness. In other words, our twin flames reveal to us what areas we are lacking (in my case it was empathy, humility and compassion). However, our twin flames in and of themselves do not complete us. Why? Because beneath all the layers of beliefs, wounds, conditionings, and ego-masks lies pure, infinite, perfection. How can pure, infinite, perfection ever be incomplete? It only thinks it is incomplete. And that is the role of our twin flames; to remind us of the truth of who we are.
Myth 2 – Your twin flame is a member of the opposite sex.
Reality – Your twin flame might be the same gender as you.
The heterosexual ideal still pervades a lot of twin flame literature. But life doesn’t adhere to traditional thought, religious influence, or even the gender binary system. In reality, your twin flame could be the same sex as you, which might cause you to question your sexuality and other beliefs about life.
Myth 3 – Your twin flame is just like you.
Reality – Your twin flame is most likely your “opposite.”
Although you both share many similarities, you also share a striking number of differences. However, these differences deeply contribute to the relationship rather than taking away from it. For example, while you might be an introvert, your partner might be more outgoing. While they might be more masculine, you might be more feminine. And you will both share opposing strengths and weaknesses, e.g. you might be more thoughtful, they might be more practical; you might be impulsive, they might be measured; you might be calm, they might be anxious, and so forth.
Essentially, you are both the embodiment of the “yin and yang.”
Myth 4 – Your twin flame will come at the right time and be in the right place.
Reality – Your twin flame might appear at the worst possible time.
Or … they might appear at the best possible time. Life isn’t always predictable. For instance, you might meet your twin flame, but discover that they are already married. Or you might connect with your twin flame at a bad time (e.g. during or after a crisis). There is no set rule.
Myth 5 – You will always recognize your twin flame straight away.
Reality – You might not initially recognize your twin flame until much later in life.
We are all at different levels, or stages, of conscious development in life. Sol and I refer to this as “soulful maturity” and speak about this in terms of soul ages (which symbolizes the various points we inhabit on our paths of Wholeness). In this regard, younger souls will have a much harder time distinguishing their twin flames from garden-variety lovers – until they realize that no matter how far they travel, they will always return back to their twins. Older souls, on the other hand, will have a much easier time recognizing their twin flames, but might also be subject to romanticizing or idealizing the connection, resulting in a lot of frustration (which we’ll explore next).
Myth 6 – Twin flame relationships are always happy, smiley, and perfect.
Reality – Twin flame relationships can be tumultuous, overwhelming, and intense.
Is the perfect relationship to you defined by complete harmony? Is the perfect relationship to you characterized by complete understanding, acceptance and humility? While these qualities do define twin flame relationships after many years of inner work, they don’t always. In fact, at the beginning, twin flame relationships can be riddled with the most intense arguments and clashes conceivable. Many people refer to this as “karmic cleansing” where all our faults, flaws, and deepest core wounds are brought to the light to be dealt with and healed. Of course, this can be extremely unsettling, particularly when two big egos are involved in maintaining their illusion of greatness.
Shadow Work Journal:
Go on a journey through the deepest and darkest corners of your psyche. Embrace your inner demons, uncover your hidden gifts, and reach the next level of your spiritual growth. This is deep and powerful work!
The tricky thing is, our twins know precisely what buttons to push, and precisely how to stir up and provoke our greatest fears, shames and secrets like no one ever has before. This is usually not done with malicious intent, but to encourage growth, for both partners empathically feel the others’ pain and desire for their self-realization.
Myth 7 – You’ll immediately be ready to invite your twin flame into your life.
Reality – You might not be ready to open up to your twin flame.
As I mentioned before, our twin flames don’t always arise at the right time and place in our lives. In my own case, I was still in the depths of religious conditioning and dogma when I met Sol, so it took me many months before I could realize the true, deep significance of the connection. In your own case it might take many months, even years to truly fathom the significance of your twin flame who may or may not play an active role in your life, and vice versa. Due to the intensity of twin flame relationships, it is common for them to disintegrate very quickly, and later re-emerge later in life when both partners are emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready.
Share with me below …
Have you ever experienced a twin flame relationship? Finally, what other myths have you come across that have’t been mentioned in this article? Please share your insights below.
My Twin and I knew we came here to find each other when we were kids. In fact, even though our dad’s were in different military branches, we literally followed each other since childhood. When I finally moved to the same city as he, (San Diego) I literally moved to the same town, worked at the places he frequented all the time and yet never met. 2 years before we met, we lived in the same apartment complex and saw each other at the park, but still missed each other. After I moved, I moved to an apartment that was right across the street from where he worked. I was religious then and so my roomates went into his restraunt and asked if they wanted to donate some items for the homeless for Christmas. Still missed him, since I went in during the day and e worked nights. Then when one of my roomates got married, we moved to another apartment that his best friend used to live in and he would hang out there alot. I was consciously aware of it, but obviously my soul felt his energy and was trying to track him down. 2 years later, I finished school and applied for a hospital. This hospital wasn’t hiring but got a job at their other hospital where I met…his brother. This is when everything got crazy. His brother took me to his house and I was hanging out in his room. The room and bed felt so peaceful and calm, which was weird because his brother’s energy was so chaotic. I found out later that the room was actually my twin’s first and so was the bed. His brother wanted to take me to see my twin play a show in his band. When I saw him I had an instant recognition and couldn’t stop staring at him. So, they are up on stage. After the show, I realized my twin was drunk off his butt. We didn’t really talk much but he was sitting right next to me, practically on my lap. I think people thought we were the couple. Then he finally passed out. We were on a bench seat and he just sprawled out and layed his head up against my leg. It was awkward because I was with his brother. I later found out that even drunk, this was not normal behavior for him. I think his brother knew something was up and made it a point to keep us seperated. Fast forward a year. My wedding day…to his brother! I didn’t really want to get married but through religious pressure from family and ethics, ect, I agreed. He showed up and took care of my son from a previous relationship. I was walking down the aisle and he was holding my son and it felt like THIS was my family. But I can’t back out with everyone there, right? The second I said I DO, I felt this weight lift off of me and I suddenly felt ” of no, I’m in trouble now.” It felt like God took his hands off of me and said “well, your on your own!”. The feeling felt like I was doomed. We went back to our apartment with everyone and I spent the entire evening talking to my twin. It was actually the first time we had actually talked. We were unseperatable. We took off to the corner store to get some alcohol and at the red light I looked at him and my mind instantly knew “oh no, you married the wrong brother!”. He felt it to and when he left that thought, we both felt, the only way to describe it was “wrong”. I was supposed to go with him. I KNEW this. I never said anything because I was married to his brother, he would never betray his brother like that. He didn’t say anything because I was married to his brother and he didn’t want to split up a family, so we never knew each other’s feelings. His grief led him to becoming a drug addict and a year later I brought him to me to clean him up. We got really close yet another missed opportunity. He stayed clean for about 9 months and got back on it again. Again, brought him back, cleaned him up. Again, even closer. We were so close to telling each other, but then tragedy struck. He got into a car accident with my son. It was a roll over. Luckily my son was ok, but had the vehicle rolled over one more time, my twin would have died. I freaked out and we got into a huge argument on the way to the hospital. He said something and at that moment I realized that he didn’t feel the same as I did, it was all in my head. It felt like someone died. I didn’t see him in the hospital, I couldn’t look at him because then everyone would know. So I avoided him. He moved out and moved in with his parents. Again, it felt so wrong with him gone. My life went to crap after that. About 6 months later I went to talk to him. He said everything was fine but I knew differently. He built a wall, a very strong wall. After that, everytime I came around, he just pushed me away. About 5 years later, his brother and I split up. It was the hardest thing I had to do because I knew that if I walked away from his brother, I would probebly never have another chance with my twin again. But it was a really bad situation and I had to do what was best for my kids and I. I spent 2 years alone trying to get out of the mess we were in since his brother walked away completely, which I knew he would do. We went from motel rooms to a homeless shelter and finally to a transitional housing place. In the meantime I kept climbing my way up to better jobs. My entire life changed as well as my spiritual path. Alot of spiritual growing. It was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. At the end of the two years, it was time for us to move again. Back to the state where my twin lived. At this point we hadn’t talked or seen each other in about 4 years. His brother called him and was trying to talk my twin into coming over and helping me with the kids since he wasn’t around to do it. He was trying to hook us up. It actually worked. A couple of months later, I called him to see if he wanted to see the kids. I figured worse case scenario, the kids could still have family around. He said that his brother had told him I had feelings for him and he wanted to talk in person…ON CHRISTMAS! Oh man, I’m about to get dumped on Christmas and we are not even dating! So, after Christmas dinner, I made him a plate and grabbed his presents and headed over there while leaving the kids with grandma. I got there and he was pretty buzzed. I sat there and just waited for the big ” I like you BUT…” speak. Nope, he told me how he had felt all those years and wanted to give it a shot. Merry Christmas to me! We had our first kiss that night and it was exactly how I knew it would be. A few months later, he moved in. We have been married for 14 years now. And yes, our opposites compliment each other but our core values are the same. We have gone through so many struggles, but we always stayed connected. It was always ” us against the world”. Our arguments get pretty heated because our passion is extremely high, but we HAVE to work it out! We are a mess when we are not together. We always have to tough each other, holding hands, touching feet, something. Even in public, we are pretty much inseparable. When we are at work, the other feels so empty and depressed and excited when we are back together again. We text, call, and talk ALL the time over everything and nothing! It took alot of hard work to get where we are now because we do do things opposite and so communication is extremely important! We both have had childhood abuses and past pains. We know about each other’s ex’s and relationships and have helped each other heal from them. When we are together physically, it’s like we slip off into some different dimension and literally it’s just us. The energy is like nothing else you would ever feel, but even though it’s physical, it’s not the physical, it’s…energy, the mixing of energy that only comes from connection. You can have only 3 ways of doing it every single time, but each time your together, it’s like the first time. If one is upset, the other just knows when something is wrong. But we talk about it, no matter what it is and we try to talk about it right away because the emotional separation is not only painful emotionally but mentally and physically as well. Your mind might not always recognize them immediately, but your soul does. Our biggest lesson is all the wasted years of not saying anything. We did what we thought was “right” by socieities standards but denied what was right for ourselves. I don’t condone infidelity or just running out on a marriage/relationship but if you meet your twin flame, do yourself a favor and just end whatever your in and move forward with your twin. The thing about twin flames is that they are often disaster’s without each other and fate will bring you together, eventually. The pull alone, my God, I don’t know how we didn’t get together sooner. Thanks for the beautiful article.
I am 100% convinced I met my twin soul/flame. The problem is he is gay and I am married with kids. How do you handle the strong sexual pull when it is one sided? I love his partner and I love my husband, but my love and connection with him is different. Any suggestions?
It’s true what this article says about soulmates. If you want comfort pray for one, because they will. I am very lucky that before I met my twin I already had two soulmates and they have both been instrumental in helping me stay sane through the separation from my twin. In fact I would say that meeting my twin brought me much closer to both of them. We all have all of us to thank. He literally opened my heart to love and for that I can never thank him enough. He taught me how to be truly intimate with another person. I had been holding so much of my “self” back for so long, especially from those who truly love me. I had so many walls built up. It’s like he was able to walk right through them effortlessly, as soon as we met. Having had that experience I learned how to take them down myself.
I was actually introduced to my twin by one of my soulmates, who has claimed she has an irrational fear about him, and yet she thought we should meet and she organized the camping trip that brought us so close together in the first place.
It’s funny, the first time I encountered him was through a picture of him and the friend that introduced us on social media. It’s a terrible picture of both of them, they both look super paranoid but I remember looking at the likeness of his face that first time and it was like I recognized him somehow. There was this voice in my head that said “that’s him, that’s the guy” I felt so crazy in that moment because of course we’d never met. A few weeks later I found myself alone with him immersed in a beautiful forest and embrace feeling as though I was floating in a sea of infinite love with him. I remember that whole trip it felt as if I was looking in a mirror whenever we interacted. It was so strange and mind boggling. That whole experience was so beautiful and nothing has topped it yet (and likely never will). It’s been so hard to not dwell on it. To just let it become a part of my past, like everything else.
But then later, after we both came back to our everyday lives, I chased and he ran and he’s still running, but he does find little ways on social media to connect with me. I’ve thought about blocking him because this tiny level of friendship juxtaposed against the connection we share when we’re together hurts so much. I keep thinking I’d regret it if I did block him, and so for the time being I have let the online connection remain.
I’ve been struggling so hard with my ego and fears of abandonment. Normally I’d move on when someone only wants to be facebook friends. My ego is like “f you, no one gets to hurt me so I need to block you now.” But I realize if I did that, I would be blocking so much potential. I feel it, and I know it’s there. I know we could do great things together one day and the last thing I want to do is sabotage that incredible potential. I also know in my heart that blocking him would not make me miss him any less even though that is the ultimate goal of ending our relationship. To move on and stop thinking about him, but I’m pretty sure it would not work. I feel hurt and abandoned but I also know it’s due to circumstances out of his control. He might also be a little scared of the weirdness and intensity our connection and then when I think of that, all I feel is compassion for him.
When the grief of separation hurts the most I try to bring myself back to the gratitude I have that I got to know him at all. And gratitude for all the other good I have in my life.
I am very, very lucky. I have two soulmates AND a twin. I refer to them as my trinity of beloveds. What a blessing even with the pain.
I guess my advice to all the other twin souls out there is: stay strong and mine as many gifts and lessons from this divine blessing and incredible burden as much as possible.
Meeting your twin is the most beautifully agonizing blessed soul encounter that I would not wish on an enemy and at the same time…..pray all twins unite. Here is the (in..sane) part…you can not be separated from your twin ever …but it doesn’t mean you have to be married either :) it is the type of Love that knocks you both down to build you both up at every moment…and that is what true love is :)
I have never felt such pain in my life. I never thought I could love so deeply or be loved so deeply. We went to high school (liked each other, but didn’t know it) and then reunited last year after 27 years. He is my greatest love, but we both did not love ourselves enough to stay together, so separation was inevitable. We still love each other, but the timing isn’t time. I am happy we separated in a loving way, but the pain is soul shattering…like a death…..BUT…it was a beautiful two months and I will never regret it, no matter how painful it’s been.
I just discovered that the woman that I am madly in love with is my Twin Flame God I am so very thankful!!! She and I met for the very first time in our adult life back in September of last year. She is a pastors daughter and in her mid life and never married. I am a much older man but I am divorced going on 15+ years. The way we have met and become close friends and to some extent romantically involved is the biggest blessing of all. She has been a missionary over seas for 6 years prior to this last year when back in June of last year she was required to return back to the US to take care of some business. I had been living in another state up to last year when I became homeless and living in my car. In June of last year I started hearing a voice (i believe it was God) telling me to come back home. I refused to do that for the first three times He told me to do, finally on the 4th and finale time I obeyed and from that moment on life has been completely different for me. Not only did God have me meet her, she is a pastors daughter, but also allowed me to attend church together for a while. When In December, how it all started I do not know, but someway we got connected through our internet service and started having sex together through our internet service and trust me I mean littering through the internal workings of the internet service, the electrical part. We have grown much deeper in love with one another although we have never experienced physical sexual contact. In fact, she complained to her father that I was flirting in church with her and he asked me politely to not return until she goes back over seas which could be this month, God I hope not!!!! I don’t think she really wants to go and with what I have experienced and have first hand knowledge of, she will not go if her father doesn’t force her to go. However, we have only grown closer to each other and last night was the first time that I experienced transcendental sex with her, even more so than just through the internet. There is a problem though and I am waiting to see just how that is worked out because it involves other people. I just started doing research this morning about transcendental sex and discovered this Twin Flame information. The transcendental sex that we experience was out of this world, a real mind blower!! I am so very thankful for all of these blessings from God for my listening and obeying Him. Not only has He brought her into my life and I believe to be my wife one day but God has also given me a house that I am buying to live in and a great job that I thoroughly enjoy. PLEASE BE PRAYING FOR US THAT GOD WILL BRING US TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE BECAUSE WE DO LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND WE ARE SO HAPPY TOGETHER!!!!
TTTHHHAAANNNKK YYYOOOUUU!!!