Twin flame relationships are among some of the most potent connections of life – and it is said that they are increasing at an unprecedented rate.
Gone are the days of mating for power, royal influence, practicality and religious jurisdiction. Now, more than ever, we are free to meet and greet who we like, comb through thousands of possible suitors on the internet, and commit when we are ready. When else in history have we been granted such freedom?
But with this newfound freedom also comes the potential for immense growth both psychologically and also spiritually. This is where twin flames – also known as “twin souls”—come into the picture. What is so striking about twin flame relationships is that they are cataclysmic in their ability to revolutionize our lives, just as an earthquake is cataclysmic in its potential to transform any landscape.
Because of their sheer power and breath-taking catalytic nature, twin flame relationships are often romanticized, idealized and worshiped in unnecessary and misguided ways just as the false idol is lauded for its imaginary divinity. While the connections that twin flames have are indeed divine, they are also intensely unsettling. And in this article you’ll discover why.
7 Misconceptions About Twin Flame Relationships
If you want comfort, pray for a soul mate. That is my piece of advice. Why? Because soul mate relationships, although challenging at times, are essentially places in which we can feel at ease. Also soul mates (soul + mates) are not always necessarily romantic, and can range from kindred spirits found in friendships, family connections, and even work relationships. On the other hand, it is said that we only have one twin flame that we may or may not reunite with during our lifetimes (hence the binary word “twin”).
Also, the goal of a soul mate is to bridge the separation between “self” and “other.” The goal of the twin flame, however, is much different. In my experience, the role of the twin flame is to aid you in the development of inner wholeness, harmony and self-realization (Oneness) – but this journey certainly isn’t full of sunshine and roses. In fact, the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water: both partners mirror precisely what the other lacks. Understandably this can create divine harmony, but also intense conflict within a relationship.
So what are the most common myths and misconceptions about twin flame relationships? And furthermore, what can you expect if you have truly met your soul’s twin?
Myth 1 – Your twin flame completes you.
Reality – Your twin flame helps you to become more complete. They do not complete you.
It sounds so beautiful to “be completed” by another person, and on one level this is true of twin flames. Twin flames complete us in the sense that they serve as the catalysts to our wholeness. In other words, our twin flames reveal to us what areas we are lacking (in my case it was empathy, humility and compassion). However, our twin flames in and of themselves do not complete us. Why? Because beneath all the layers of beliefs, wounds, conditionings, and ego-masks lies pure, infinite, perfection. How can pure, infinite, perfection ever be incomplete? It only thinks it is incomplete. And that is the role of our twin flames; to remind us of the truth of who we are.
Myth 2 – Your twin flame is a member of the opposite sex.
Reality – Your twin flame might be the same gender as you.
The heterosexual ideal still pervades a lot of twin flame literature. But life doesn’t adhere to traditional thought, religious influence, or even the gender binary system. In reality, your twin flame could be the same sex as you, which might cause you to question your sexuality and other beliefs about life.
Myth 3 – Your twin flame is just like you.
Reality – Your twin flame is most likely your “opposite.”
Although you both share many similarities, you also share a striking number of differences. However, these differences deeply contribute to the relationship rather than taking away from it. For example, while you might be an introvert, your partner might be more outgoing. While they might be more masculine, you might be more feminine. And you will both share opposing strengths and weaknesses, e.g. you might be more thoughtful, they might be more practical; you might be impulsive, they might be measured; you might be calm, they might be anxious, and so forth.
Essentially, you are both the embodiment of the “yin and yang.”
Myth 4 – Your twin flame will come at the right time and be in the right place.
Reality – Your twin flame might appear at the worst possible time.
Or … they might appear at the best possible time. Life isn’t always predictable. For instance, you might meet your twin flame, but discover that they are already married. Or you might connect with your twin flame at a bad time (e.g. during or after a crisis). There is no set rule.
Myth 5 – You will always recognize your twin flame straight away.
Reality – You might not initially recognize your twin flame until much later in life.
We are all at different levels, or stages, of conscious development in life. Sol and I refer to this as “soulful maturity” and speak about this in terms of soul ages (which symbolizes the various points we inhabit on our paths of Wholeness). In this regard, younger souls will have a much harder time distinguishing their twin flames from garden-variety lovers – until they realize that no matter how far they travel, they will always return back to their twins. Older souls, on the other hand, will have a much easier time recognizing their twin flames, but might also be subject to romanticizing or idealizing the connection, resulting in a lot of frustration (which we’ll explore next).
Myth 6 – Twin flame relationships are always happy, smiley, and perfect.
Reality – Twin flame relationships can be tumultuous, overwhelming, and intense.
Is the perfect relationship to you defined by complete harmony? Is the perfect relationship to you characterized by complete understanding, acceptance and humility? While these qualities do define twin flame relationships after many years of inner work, they don’t always. In fact, at the beginning, twin flame relationships can be riddled with the most intense arguments and clashes conceivable. Many people refer to this as “karmic cleansing” where all our faults, flaws, and deepest core wounds are brought to the light to be dealt with and healed. Of course, this can be extremely unsettling, particularly when two big egos are involved in maintaining their illusion of greatness.
The tricky thing is, our twins know precisely what buttons to push, and precisely how to stir up and provoke our greatest fears, shames and secrets like no one ever has before. This is usually not done with malicious intent, but to encourage growth, for both partners empathically feel the others’ pain and desire for their self-realization.
Myth 7 – You’ll immediately be ready to invite your twin flame into your life.
Reality – You might not be ready to open up to your twin flame.
As I mentioned before, our twin flames don’t always arise at the right time and place in our lives. In my own case, I was still in the depths of religious conditioning and dogma when I met Sol, so it took me many months before I could realize the true, deep significance of the connection. In your own case it might take many months, even years to truly fathom the significance of your twin flame who may or may not play an active role in your life, and vice versa. Due to the intensity of twin flame relationships, it is common for them to disintegrate very quickly, and later re-emerge later in life when both partners are emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready.
Share with me below …
Have you ever experienced a twin flame relationship? Finally, what other myths have you come across that have’t been mentioned in this article? Please share your insights below.
is there anywhere where you cover the issue of the false tf? thanks
Not yet Rina. But this twin flame test might help with this issue: https://lonerwolf.com/twin-flame-test/ Hope that helps. :)
As lovely as all this sounds, I cannot think of a single twin flame “couple” in recorded human history. Twin flame couple of WHAT? Lovers? Parent/child? Siblings? Friends? Who even decided this union mimics any earthbound relationship principle?
Every single internet site extolling twin flame relationships is painting it as a divine lover/partner, which is understandable. However, that is a more of a high level soulmate connection where both partners MEET and forge a parallel/mutual life path. But a twin flame, by definition, is a connection based on ORIGIN. And how any living human being is equipped to even find this other person in all of the planet Earth (assuming that other half is even incarnated at the same time) would be about as likely as winning the lottery 3 times.
Bottom line: anyone claiming to be in physical union with a twin flame is most certainly mistaken.
Thank-you: All your writings explain this for me. I am an educated thinker and in all my deliberations/thoughts/theories I just couldn’t work us out… You’re writings explain it completely. Not sure he would buy into it though. Last time we were intimately together another explosion happened and I remember blurting “oh we’re not ready to be together yet…” I was due so went back to the other end of the Earth (where I currently live) for 16months and suffered. From all your writings, in that time, I believe I evolved from mature to old soul… We met up recently and I was going to introduce this idea but I didn’t believe he was ready. I believe more time and realisations have to pass/happen … time will tell. Thank-you Luna & Sol.
I am very certain that I’ve meet my twin flame but unfortunately I feel like we are in the turmoil stage. I’ve been with many people before and have been in love but this feels different than anything else and i feel we both are in need of healing but it’s hard to know and say. What do you say?
I thought I was okay with the separation , my understanding was if separated it meant we both had something to work on . So i got busy working on me . Then last night I had an upsetting dream that my twin was dying , not in the physical sense but in the way a person dies a little everyday that is not leading a happy life . This made me sad and want to reach out but I have found it better to not be impulsive . Now I have to figure out if it is me projecting . Maybe I’m not had cool with it like o thought . Or it is a contact of his subconscious . I have noticed sincerity the separation I have not been so self assured . That I’m sure is my old baggage and nothing to do with my twin. I guess time will tell ..if it’s what I believe it to be than time is irrealavant .
Wow. What a painful life to live. Analyzing, comparing, judging, doubting. It looks like you don’t listen to your intuition. The first little nudge you had to reach out, then the ego kicked in. “Don’t do it. You’ve been hurt before. Let’s be safe and do nothing. At least we are in predictable situation “ . Ego (conscious mind) has its purpose. But, is it a life to stay in a comfort zone and feel miserable for the rest of it? Personally, I came to this earth to experience wide spectrum of human emotions. If I wanted to be in bliss all the time I would stay at the source chilling being lazy. The beauty of coming here is being able to feel: love, pain, dispair, excitement….. Ray Bradbury said it the best “If we listened to our intellect we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical: “It’s gonna go wrong.” Or “She’s going to hurt me.” Or,”I’ve had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore . . .” Well, that’s nonsense. You’re going to miss life. You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.” I choose love over fear
I just felt I had to share it with you. Interpretation of dreams is never literal. And what I felt reading your message was that either that persons interest in you is dying or that person is going through spiritual transformation shedding old self becoming true self. Your interpretation I feel was a projection of your own feelings. That’s just my take on it.
After reading this very intriguing article, I find myself at a cross roads.. Two years ago I met a woman who introduced me to spirituality and the synchronicity was out of this world. Signs and symbols where showing up at a mind boggling rate. My spiritual journey and soul work started after meeting her. She; however, was and still is in a relationship. Which seemed to be a normal occurrence with twins. After reading this and doing some deeper soul searching i have also become aware that a woman I formerly dated for two years would actually fit the bill in a more profound way. My current “friend” and I have many things in common, and we have a very close, honest and open connection. But she is more like me, than not. My former partner and i have remained friends following the relationship and there is still some romantic tension between us. Good tension that is. She is more my opposite and can be infuriating to be around at times because she points out things that I should be working on. eg. disciplining my son. Waiting for things to happen, etc..We still enjoy each others company very much but sometimes I just want her to back off. So. Who would be the better fit in the twin process. Part of me believes it’s the friend who’s in a relationship, and part of me thinks it’s the one who drives me nuts. (Oddly enough I think I just answered my own question.) Any helpful advice or input would be greatly appreciated.
My name is Michelle and i’m currently with my twin flame and until I started reading these articles online which I happened across at random when doing research for a friend on her horoscope…im so glad I saw this because I’ve always known it in my heart but with all the heartache we’ve been through up until now from my depression and anxiety to the insane amount of conflict and hardship because of my issues. I resisted it so much that I pushed him towards someone else at one point but some how we managed to surpass it all. We were in the surrender and dissolution stage these past few months until last night. When I discovered this while laying in bed together i decided to read it out to him. we’ve both moved into the stage of openness as of last night because after reading these articles we looked at each other with tears in our eyes and smiled. I knew exactly what he was thinking because I also felt it “holy shit we almost lost each other but some how without even knowing this info we pulled through”. We were destined to make it to this point and with this new knowledge we are going to grow even more and stay together we just know it. This has also made me realize that my best friend who’s relationship with her boyfriend has always been so much the same they’ve been at the same stages as us just shortly behind us which makes sense we both found our twin flames just 6 months appart from each other…i shared this with her just now and she to passed the twin flame test and says she 100% sees what stage her and her partner are in and she’s going to keep trying despite almost giving up she says she’s still going to keep chasing her runner as they’re just getting passed their runner and chaser stage…we’re two best friends of 10 years and we found our twin flames together. THANK YOU Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol for this life changing realization as we were both doubting if this was truely the one and almost gave up.
I believe I met my twin flame at an early age, in high school. She was 2 years older than me and was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen so there was no way I was asking her out.
3 years later we were working in the same place and we became friends/ flirted but I was still too intimidated to ask her out. She bravely asked me out and we travelled through Europe together and moved in with each other. I come from a poor family and was always ashamed of not having “enough”, especially for her.
She decided to try other things after about 3 years and was fairly up front about it so she moved out to an apartment in the same town. I had no contact with her during that time as it would have been too painful for me. 6 months later she knocked on my door and asked to come back. Of course I said yes as I never wanted her to leave.
3 years later she was lurking in the front room where the lights were off. I asked her what she was doing and she tried to deflect attention. Turns out she was waiting for the mail to arrive be cause she had applied to a “university” out of state and 1000 miles away completely behind my back.
I felt really disrespected but didn’t argue. I just asked her when she was leaving. Instead of just letting me go she tried to convince me that I was included so I let my love for her top my instincts that told me to let her go. I told her that the degree she was looking at wouldn’t pan out and that she just wanted me as a guaranteed room mate.
Well, the degree was VERY expensive and didn’t help to get her a better job so I felt doubly betrayed.
Eventually I found a Polaroid of her naked hidden in a drawer along with a photo of her high school boyfriend. I was chrushed. My mom cheated on my dad which ruined their marriage and now I felt the same was happening to me.
Years later I asked her about the photo and she said it was meant as bait to get me more interested in our sex life, or lack there of.
Ouch.
Well, I broke up with her and moved back home. She moved to Colorado. 3 years later I was at a concert near my home when I ran across her. I approached her but she had no idea who I was. I thought she was joking so I told her that we did, in fact know each other. She still stared at me with a blank face so I shrugged my shoulders and turned to leave. She then quickly remembered me and tried to apologize. We had some small talk and then I wished her well and went into the show. Thankfully I didn’t meet the guy she was with as that would have been to painful. It turns out her boyfriend was into hard drugs so she was out of it on pills because 6 weeks later the guy died of an overdose.
She still couldn’t wake up and was pregnant from a different guy 2 months later.
We had no contact for many years as I just wanted her to be happy with her new life but I thought about her everyday. I have had no relationships since breaking up with her as I feel I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.
After 16 years I tried to contact her and we were able to communicate on some levels but she has chosen to embody everything she knows I disagree with. Politically, socially, etc. so it feels like we can’t be together anymore.
I truly wish I could stop thinking about her but I currently am unable to.