Twin flame separation is not like typical relationship breakdown.
When we separate from our flames it’s as though our entire lives have been shattered. The deep and intense love that we feel towards our twin flames makes any form of split agonizing and almost unbearable.
Having received so many stories from lost souls over the years about twin flame separation, I thought I’d finally write about this topic. Being in a twin flame relationship myself, I’ve experienced how overwhelming, intimidating and terrifying it can get, and how insufferable it is to separate – even just temporarily.
Before you read on, please ensure that you aren’t in a co-dependent or unhealthy relationship. The difference between twin flame relationships and co-dependent relationships, is that twin flames relationships are defined by respect, equality, negotiation, and healthy boundaries. On the other hand, co-dependent relationships are characterized by feeling trapped, unequal, devalued and reliant on the other for a sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, it is possible to confuse co-dependency with twin flame love. Please be careful about confusing the two.
5 Causes of Twin Flame Separation
One of the most painful stages is the twin flame relationship that of the “Runner and Chaser.” After the initial stages of ecstatic union and fairy-tale partnership, things start to heat up. Egos begin to clash. Core wounds, insecurities, and traumas are rubbed raw. Shadow Selves lash out.
As a result, it’s inevitable that almost every twin flame relationship battles through drama and dysfunction at first. Understandably, this comes as a devastating shock. What happened to the perfect, rosy relationship paradise where everything was kisses and cuddles? At this point, many twin flame couples wind up confused and disorientated. Was it all a lie? Was it all an illusion?
The answer is “no.” The intensity you experienced was not a figment of your imagination. The sense of familiarity and déjà vu you felt wasn’t a mystical apparition. It was real. Don’t doubt it. It’s simply buried under the layers of your damaged egos.
It could be said that the sole purpose of twin flame relationships is to help us soulfully mature and become the best versions of ourselves possible. In fact, despite how difficult they can be, twin flame relationships are so powerful because they are catalysts of growth. Our twin flames help to ruthlessly expose the dark, disowned, fractured parts of ourselves that we’ve hidden away. Not only that, but our twin flames provoke our inner growth by unintentionally (or intentionally) irking us. The anger we feel towards them is only really a reflection of the anger we feel towards ourselves.
Sometimes one, or both partners in a twin flame relationship become so infuriated and incapable of co-existing that they separate. What is the cause of twin flame separation? We’ll see below:
1. Psychological and spiritual immaturity
Life is a process of growth. Not only do our physical bodies grow, but our inner selves grow as well. One of the primary causes of twin flame separation is immaturity. When we’re immature, we have low emotional intelligence meaning that we struggle to identify, manage and cope with our emotions and those of others. Not only that, but spiritual immaturity thrives in proportion to the stubbornness and magnitude of the ego. In other words, the bigger the ego self, the less harmony there is. The ego wants to believe itself to be charming, magnificent, all-knowing, and perfect. But when it is challenged in any way, shape, or form, there is hell to pay.
Almost all of us are ruled by the ego-self – if we weren’t, we’d be enlightened. But not all egos are the same. There are strong egos, and there are weak egos. The stronger an ego is, the more likely it is to run away from a person or situation which makes it feel impotent. Twin flame relationships are one such place. In fact, twin flame relationships are essentially made to dissolve the ego … and the ego despises that.
2. Lack of self-love and respect
The major requirement necessary for functioning smoothly in a twin flame relationship seems to be self-love. For example, before Sol and I met, we both worked on loving and accepting the people we were. This is also true for other successful twin flame partnerships.
Without learning how to love yourself first, there can be no genuine love for others. Instead, the love is tainted with neediness, co-dependency and “conditions.” We can never give unconditional love to our partners without first showing fierce unconditional love towards ourselves. As a result of this, some twin flame relationships unfortunately crumble under the weight of insecurity and self-hatred.
3. More life lessons need to be learned
Life needs to prepare you before you enter a twin flame relationship. Sometimes this means that you need to enter other relationships, establish new friendships, or expand your life experience (travel, volunteer, get a new job) before you’re ready. This is all a matter of trial and error. Some circumstances will bestow you with gentle insight, and others will leave you crushed and fighting for air. Whatever the case, don’t shut yourself off from the world. The more you test your boundaries, the more you learn.
4. Healing needs to occur
Sometimes our twin flames show up at a point in life when we are suffering immensely. Our suffering may come from a tragedy, death, form of abuse or even another relationship breakup. We may not emotionally be in a place to open up yet. Therefore, a process of healing may be necessary first.
5. It’s just not the time yet
Life can be mysterious. Sometimes twin flame separation occurs because the moment in time isn’t right. Sometimes other journeys need to be completed, and other people need to be met. Sometimes we don’t even know the reason why. The best thing to do in this situation is to surrender. This can be extremely hard, but trust that the experience will help you grow stronger and wiser. Who knows what the future brings?
Losing your twin flame is one of the hardest things you will ever experience.
Whether through death, circumstance or the inability to coexist together, twin flame separation is a nightmare.
The absence you feel is profoundly incapacitating.
The loss you struggle with is like black quicksand.
Your crushed hopes and dreams cling to you like shrapnel.
You walk through life feeling empty, numb, lost.
There is nothing in life that can quite compare to the deep and intense grief of losing your beloved.
More In-Depth Help
Want to learn more about twin flame relationships? In our book Twin Flames & Soulmates, we give more in-depth guidance:
How to Recover From Twin Flame Separation
Grief is an important part of the healing process. My intention isn’t to wave a magic wand and make your pain go away. Instead, my intention is to help expand your perspective and facilitate your recovery.
You are a strong, worthy and spiritual being. You deserve to pick up the pieces, heal and move on with your life. Open your heart and take in these words for a moment. When we experience immense loss it can be hard to remember these truths.
Before you read this list, I want you to know that although it felt as though your twin flame was your universe, you are capable of finding wholeness by yourself.
Recovering from twin flame separation can take months, often years, and sometimes decades. For this reason, always be gentle and patient with yourself:
1. Understand why the separation occurred
Often in order to find peace of mind, we need to understand why something in our lives occurred. If your separation was deliberate, you might like to explore the underlying reasons and causes. In understanding why you’ll be able to learn important lessons about yourself that will help you to mature as a person.
2. Realize that twin flame separation makes you stronger
At first, this almost sounds like a sick joke. Stronger? How could that possibly be true?
While losing your beloved temporarily causes immense sadness and distress, in the long term it can forge you into the person you were meant to become. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, twin flame separation burns you so fiercely that you feel like useless, futile ash. But after a time, if you allow it to, this process of burning can give birth to strength, fortitude, and courage.
3. Allow yourself to mourn through self-expression
Intense emotions are scary. For this reason, most of us tend to hide, suppress or distract ourselves from honoring them. If you’re experiencing extremely uncomfortable emotions such as depression, anger, and grief, slow down. Make space in your life to mourn. This isn’t about self-pity, it’s about actively experiencing your emotions.
One of the best ways to actively experience emotions is through self-expression such as journaling, painting, playing an instrument, dancing, running, hiking, gardening, etc. Find what feels good, and go to that place. Don’t remain static. Get moving. This is a powerful way to heal.
Learn more about how to journal.
4. You are not your pain
When we are in a great amount of suffering it’s very easy for us to get strung up in victim roles. Melancholy is comfortable when it protects us from vulnerability. But remember this: pain is a passing sensation. It may be a very persistent emotion, but you are not your pain. You are so much more than your suffering.
Making friends with pain, opening to it, and allowing it to teach you, shows you that pain is transient. Pain reveals to you the parts within yourself that haven’t healed yet. Pain strips away the pretense and illusions and reveals to you the truth of what is there: your wounds, your insecurities, your beliefs, your attachments.
Pain shows you that you have loved deeply and fully. It reveals to you your own beauty, your own tender heart. Finally, when pain is fully accepted in the moment, it reveals a deeper truth: that you are limitless. You are not bound by any identity or story of pain.
Pain is only a passing cloud on the sky that is You.
5. Our twin flames are not responsible for our happiness
Twin flames facilitate our growth in a powerful way, but they are not required for us to be happy. Wholeness and fulfillment can be achieved without the presence of our twin flames. Unfortunately, a common myth about twin flames is that we somehow need them to be complete. This is false. We explore this more in-depth in our twin flame book.
Twin Flames & Soul Mates:
Learn how to forge true, deep, and enduring twin flame and soul mate love – no matter what stage you’re at, starting right now. This book is for anyone seeking to find and create an authentic, fulfilling, and awakened relationship.
6. Integration
Integration is about taking your discoveries and actively applying them to your life. When you whole-heartedly surrender without resistance to what life is presenting to you now, suffering ceases. Of course, this is easier in theory than it actually is in real life. So be kind towards yourself. Go at your own pace. This takes time. And most importantly: be open to letting go of anything that no longer serves you.
One Last Thing …
Unconditionally loving yourself including all of your flaws, mistakes and shadow parts is vital for healing. Often the main reason why we experience heartbreak in the first place is because of our own self-loathing and lack of self-understanding.
***
Be open to the reality that life is a mystery. You don’t know what the future holds. You never know who may appear or re-appear in your life. Take comfort in this.
For the time being, I’d love for you to spill your heart in the comments area. What’s your story? Have you separated from your twin flame? What was it like for you, and how did you manage to cope? Let’s support each other.
Related articles:
- 21 Authentic Twin Flame Signs (+ Free In-Depth Guidance)
- Twin Flame Runner: 6 Ways to Reunite With Your Twin Soul
Hello, There.
This article has been immensely helpful and extremely painful to read.
My twin flame and I met about 5 and a half years ago. I knew her before we had even met. I had done a past life regression a year before we met, and in all of those past lives I saw she was with me, and in every one she was ripped away from me by death. In that his life however it was very different, but the same.
We met and we’re together for about a year. I had not been long out of a long term relationship when we met, but we got through that together. As our relationship grew I started noticing some mental illness in her that she only started to tell me about shortly before the relationship ended. No amount of love I had for her could help her heal. She was so full of self loathing and hatred. So days she was a completely different woman. As you can imagine the relationship fell apart, and I understand why completely from reading this article, on both mine and her lack of letting egos go.
After some time I had gotten into another relationship. Love was there, but nothing like it was with my “Babe”. Even now nothing come close to the bond I had with her. Relationships now are just a coexistence, it feels.
In the spring of 2020 I had reconnected with my twin, while being in another relationship. I could tell she felt rejected by me, but that wasn’t the case. I was just still very wounded and happy with my current partner. We talked back and forth and apologized to each other for how things went and still very much loved each other. I could certainly feel that. My current partner hated that we were friends again and made me feel that I should disconnect with here, which I did. More out of fear and still the hurt I felt from when we broke up.
Six months pass, and I receive a message from a mutual friend of ours. “Something has happened to A——“ my heart sank into a pit that it has not even yet come out of and I know never will. She had committed suicide the night before. Yet again she has been torn away from this life. I alway felt we would reunite in this life, which we did one evening before I severed the friendship. I took everything in me not to kiss her forehead. That was the last time I saw her. She had given me one of her paintings. We both loved art.
To this day she is always in my thoughts. I can feel her always, and I do talk to her often. She is my twin and always will be. My love will never go away for her. Not in this life or the next. Most days I do just wish my heart would stop, just so I can find her again, but I carry on until my time comes and I can find my beloved again.
Thank you again for writing that article. It has helped me so much.
I met my twin flame Shortly after a friend of mine died in June 2019. We met on Instagram, funny thing too his birthday 3 days after my friend passed away. Anywho he asked for my number and it lead to us meeting for the first time. He was very shy, quiet and sweet. Mysterious to me because I knew there was more to discover. It was like love at first sight I don’t even really know how to explain the feeling it just felt.. exhilarating. Like something just lit up within me. Over time this connection because somewhat toxic to the point we were hurting each other.. in many ways. Emotionally, physically.. just draining each other. But we couldn’t seem to let each other. Recently I made a mistake, a bad one and since he’s been distant. All the way, not seeing each other talking to each other, nothing. He’s just gone and it feels like I’m dying.. literally. I think about him alll day allll night and I cannot seem to accept the fact that yes, this twin flame might be done. So much guilt so much pain. But I know I have to go through the emotions in order to grow and move on.. how I’m coping right now? Just putting my focus more on other things and myself. Indulging in work, doing more self care, meditating, anything to keep my mind off.. Him. Wish me luck!
I met my twin flame shortly after I started a new job in March 2021. We met shortly after clocking out for the day on our way out of the building. He happened to be walking/talking with a co-worker I worked closely with(my twin worked in a different department I hadn’t seen him before), who called for my attention to discuss something as we walked. I immediately felt his presence and gaze just before my co-worker had called for my attention. It gave me chills/butterflies, and such a sense of excitement that when I turned around and our eyes met I almost couldn’t catch my breath or speak. As soon as I pulled myself back together after momentarily getting lost in his eyes for the first time, we talked to each other the for the rest of our slow walk to the parking lot having totally forgotten that my co-worker had originally tried to get my attention, as if no one/nothing else existed but him and I. I later learned that there had been countless times over the last decade that we easily should have met but fate just wasn’t having it until the time was right I suppose. Within days of that first meeting, we started talking through social media. We would text each other for hours everyday until it was time for bed. Conversation came so naturally always. Within a week we had our first date. Within the week following that date, we became inseparable. Every chance we got to have break-time at work together, we did. Every day after work I’d find him waiting for me outside. We would walk to my car where we would spend at least half an hour kissing and telling each other about how our day had been. Then we would each head to our separate homes to do whatever we needed to on any given day after work, and he would usually get to my house about 2 hours after that. We spent the weekends at his house. But no matter what or where, we shared a bed and held each other all night, every night. We never controlled one another nor did we ever try, and we never had an argument. The few times we didn’t see eye to eye we simply explained our points of view to each other a little better until we were on the same page. It was all so perfect, love at first sight if you will. I had found the love of my life, and he always showed me without a doubt that he loved me just as much. So quickly we had found love, but tragedy stole him from me(physically speaking) as quickly as our love had begun. After almost 6 miraculously amazing, joy filled months with the man I love more than life itself; he took his own life without any warning at all. His entire family even told me so many times afterwards that during those 6 months he was the happiest they had ever seen him in his whole life, we just couldn’t make it make sense. Our lives and the future we had planned together shattered in the blink of an eye. It’s been 3 months since his passing and I still can’t seem to put any of the pieces back together. It still feels like it isn’t real, like I’m stuck in a horrible dream I just can’t wake up from. But even through all of the grief and pain of losing him, I can still feel his presence every day, and he continuously sends me signs that he is always with me no matter how much it hurts. I only manage to find the the smallest bit of relief in knowing that he no longer has to live in pain, he can finally find peace, and we will be together again someday, somewhere, someway. Until we meet again my love, I’ll carry you in my heart always, our souls forever entwined.
I had a bad 7 year old marriage that was on the rocks for half of those years. It was 1983 and I was 27 years old then when I started a new job in security. I met my supervisor for the first time and the moment I looked at her, I felt like I never felt before in my entire life. It was as though we already knew each other and she told me the same thing. It was as though we had been waiting for the day we met! She was 13 years older than me but the age difference made no matter whatsoever! We fell deeply in love. Unfortunately, my being married complicated our relationship. She resigned and moved to California while I stayed behind in Connecticut. Months went by and we could not resist staying in continuous contact with each other. I eventually divorced and headed out to California to be with her! The magnetism of our relationship was so intense that we knew we were destined to be together. We married and built a beautiful life together! We were so much a spiritual part of each other that we actually felt each other when we were apart and knew our thoughts as well as emotions. We both took turns completing each others sentences on many occasions. We supported each other in every way with passion and consideration. When we argued or faulted each other it was immediately forgiven and forgotten without ever a begrudging attitude. Our love and our deep down intensity for each other actually compounded more and more TIMES a thousand as the years went by. I was very involved with her career as a Private Investigator while she was very involved with my being a Freelance Illustrator. Now, in 2021, speaking for us both, it has been the most incredible 38 years of my life! She was sitting right next to me when her spirit transitioned to the next realm 3 months ago. It was the hardest thing I ever experienced in my life. I stopped eating, lost 25 pounds in a few weeks and felt sick to my stomach everyday during that first month. Here I am 3 months later. My Twin Flame took half of me with her. I am learning that I can deal with a small portion of the physical and emotional pain by creating illustrations for my website of her with very passionate and spiritual intensity. I believe this will keep a part of her with me and pull a part of me back into myself as I struggle with the day after day grief I experience. I don’t know my future but I know I have to survive in this life. It’s a slow process but I know that as I wake up and thank God for another day, I also thank Him with the knowledge that each day that passes becomes another day closer to that day when I will be with my Twin Flame again!
This was a beautiful, heart-rending read, thank you for sharing Paul. I can’t imagine the pain you must be experiencing, but I can sense your strong and resilient spirit. Sending prayers for your mental and emotional recovery. ♥
I found my TF when we were teenagers I was 3 years older. We spent a year together in intense passionate love. Then, his mom died suddenly and his family wisk him away and dumped him in an orphanage. I had been adopted by a family member earlier. So we literally lost each other. 40 years later he found me and it is the same as when we first met. It is as if we have always known each other. Both of us driven to succeed and with hyperactive energy. We are reflections of the other. Unfortunately, we are both unhappily married with strong family ties and other circumstances that make us being together mostly in doable. Still we text daily for over a year and feel each other’s thoughts, cravings and pain. It is never going to end because we are not whole apart. It is bizarre but we are two and the same. We both hope we can be together eventually.
I don’t want this anymore. I hate all of it. The emotions, confusion, all of it. I’m exhausted. I hate normal but I just want that blissful ignorance, normal boring life of no extra knowledge, no awaking none of it. It can all just f off. The signs, numbers, songs, people, all.off.it. I just want a real life again.
I’m sorry…I literally have no one I trust to say this to and I just need to say it and it’s not totally tf related except if I had him still I could say it to him but I don’t…have you ever been so stressed about not being sure you’re doing something right because the instructions aren’t clear but you think you’re good but you’re not sure but asking might end up screwing stuff up more and it gives you anxiety that you have to ask and if the answer isn’t good then itll start a meltdown on someone elses part but if you screw the thing up it will do the same and now you’re sitting on your couch crying because you literally don’t know what’s best but you just want it to work without yelling and you feel like a stupid gutless wuss and you really just want someone to hug you and be calm and help but you know it’s not gonna happen and you really miss how safe you felt with your twin even though he’s probably just as tempermental even though he’s never acted like that to you…yeah, probably not huh? I really wish I didn’t either. God I miss feeling safe like that…like there wasn’t a meltdown around every corner…sad thing is, my TF actually is prone to meltdowns but his never bothered me like this persons, but he probably would be just as bad, or at least I need to believe that I guess…please continue with your regularly scheduled program now, I’m gonna mentally escape to a fake life of peace now because I am a gutless wuss and I need a hug even if it’s just in my own imagination
The job we were set up by the universe to do together was done.
I was content to live in the same village, knowing he was only 0.5 miles away. After all, I still got to see him around.
Then, he moved. He and his Linda moved an hour away.
I can’t wait to move, now, either.
Four years later, the triggering is intense. I still ‘see’ him, everywhere.
Yes, currently separated from him for 6 years, although we’ve been talking lately about getting together and making it work. There’s so much conflicting info on this subject. I cannot imagine loving anyone else.
Well today was it. The end of this journey with my TF. We were both married at the time, but ended up being best friends. Our spouses did not like our friendship, so we snuck around and texted. He ended up leaving his wife for me and I left my husband for him. It was intense, we were compatible on every level, we even fought beautifully. We even astral traveled together. But his separation was weighing on him and feelings for his wife returned. After a beautiful year and a half, he broke it off with me. Said that he needed to figure things out and I am just miserable over it.
Oh honey. Hugs. I’ve been friends only with my TF for years and you’re living my greatest fear if I ever gave in to anything more with him. Sending you all the very best positive vibes for peace and healing.
When I met her, the attraction was instantly. And yes it didnt took long and we had the first kiss. She then told me she is in a longterm relationship and will marry soon. But they have an arrangement that they can meet other partners. Well at first It wasnt a big problem, I just wanted to be with her. But our relationship went on and on and it got better and better with each visit. The bond grew stronger and stronger. The sex was unbelievable, we had such a good feeling for each other. The conversations were incredible aswell, we both have just so much to tell each other, its never boring. We always go out and do things, visit other cities and have thousands of ideas what we will do together, in bed, in the kitchen(we cook together its one of our passions) or in the world. One and a half years this is going on now. Just pure bliss.
Just one problem and this may destroy us forever. She now wants a baby. She said if she doesnt do it now she will never do it. Shes 5 years older than me.
And I am not in the financial situation to support her and a baby right now, because I broke up my last degree out of depression, and now I am back, but this would take me atleast 3-4 more years before I will be a real earner. But she now just goes for the baby with her man thinking I will stay with her as her lover. But I cannot do this to myself, watch a baby from another man grow in the women I love so much by now.
Well I wrote her a letter that I wanted to be the father of her child and her partner. She acted totally defensive and told me she doesnt love me, she loves her man, but we have a very deep unique and special bond. (what the hell is this women talking about? No love but a very deep special very rare bond?) I think shes scared to face her real feelings, because everything we did and all her actions in the last year was proof enough for me that she deeply loves me. The way she looks at me is proof for me, but I think she is financially trapped and also she just married that man so she cannot face the social consequences of leaving just now.
I have no choice but to force her to make a choice. And my guts say me she will not be true to her feelings, but I know If I leave (for my own sanity) she will fall into a deep abyss, and i would want to help her, but I cannot do it. I think I am the more mentally resilient and can handle the seperation, but I am still scared of it. But I feel I cannot stay in a triangle, It would give her no reason to move or grow because she just can have it all. It really pains me to leave her alone to fight her battles all alone. I would like to protect her and help her become her best self, but I feel the best help now is for her to confront her feelings! But my fear is that she will break as a person and I wont be there for her…..
Never been in such a tricky situation.
For me its now all about standing my ground and beeing not scared to show my deepest feelings towards her and face the consequences even if that means seperation, for now atleast. But with a growing child it probably will be years or decades of seperation, and this scares me.
everyone have a nice one!
My twin and I separated two years ago. A year ago I finally said yes to a dinner date, and
who did we happen to run into? My date and I were driving to a restaurant at the edge of town.
My twin was at a corner gas station loading firewood into the back of his truck. He was facing me.
He was very focused on his task and didn’t see me. I am feeling like I have a balloon lifting my
heart as I write this. He didn’t look happy. His new woman was walking towards him. I rolled
down the window of the pick up I was in. The sun was shining, it was sunset. The breeze was mild.
We were breathing the same air, the same sunlight was shining on us and we were just 20 feet apart
from each other. I felt no
pain. Nothing. Just loved looking at him and wishing he would look up. He was about 50 miles
from his own neighborhood and realized him and his new woman were headed to join his family
at his favorite camping spot that they all went to only once a year. And here we were. What was
the chances? I mean, come on! We both just happened to be at the same place at the exact same
and not by planning. The restaurant was about 100 feet away. When I got out of the truck, I thought
to myself, ha i didn’t feel a thing. My knees buckled at about that time. My date chose the table
with view of the street. I could see my twin’s truck from where I was sitting. I noticed it had gotten
dark all of a sudden. A storm was brewing. In moments rain was coming down in buckets and I thought of
their wood for their cozy campfire in front of his camper would be all wet! I saw his truck leave. Then I saw
my date look quickly out the window at a truck that has screeched to a halt right in front of our window.
My date looked back at me, but I didn’t turn to look. I have always wondered if he had slammed on his
brakes when he saw me clearly inside sitting with my date. I mailed him a card soon after just to say Merry
Christmas and please forgive me for contacting you but I hadn’t found anyone that I wanted a second date
with. I was leaving the door open and now the ball was in his court. But they became engaged and I have to
wish him well and now and then when I feel him thinking of me, to simply enjoy the feelings of joy and bliss
and happiness and the balloon in my heart I would feel whenever he was beside me and send the love back.
If it’s meant to be again, it will happen. But, I know him. He wouldn’t do anything to rock the boat. She, his
new woman, knew how to make things happen and I’m sure knows how to keep him. She looked like the type,
the short, fat cow. Our connection will always be there. I dreamed of his face, years before we met. There were
two faces in that dream. The second one was my false twin that I met and married and separated from a year later.
Always wondered what that dream meant, exactly. First face was my twin’s, then my false twin’s face, then my
twin’s again. The two men had many things in common, but were opposites in matters of the heart. My twin was
a truthful man, the false twin was deceptive and lied to me constantly. I will always love him, my twin. He used
to text me, I can feel your love. We could communicate without it. After we broke up I would see vehicles just
like his all day long and it got old so I would say, God bless him, each time I saw one. Then it became, God bless
our love. I started saying this to myself each night before I went to sleep. One night after saying it, I heard him in
my mind. He said, stop saying that! I can never be with you again, I’ve been with someone else. I fell asleep
wondering if it wasn’t me imaging him saying that. Until the next morning. I got a text from him saying the same
and telling me he would be blocking my number. I hardly ever texted him at that
point, but whatever. I was grateful tho, because I knew. I knew for sure. We could communicate with our thoughts.
It was painful those first 6 months. I’m much stronger now. Every once in a while I would regress. I finally had
enough of the memories and asked to be rid of them. That night I dreamed I was swimming in the ocean and
a shark swam up to me and grabbed what I suppose was the memory of us out of my arms. That was healing for me.
Now when I think of him, it’s in the future tense. I will go on. I still don’t feel like I want anyone in my life, but if
someone comes along and the fit is right, I won’t pass it by. But still, I’m sure you can guess that I would want my
twin back with me. Because, I do.
I met my TF 3 years ago but I had a glimpse of him maybe a year or two before when I was doing meditation and calling for my other half because my ex…I knew he wasn’t right for me. I was in an established 4 year relationship at the time. He was a co worker of my then partner. He was down on his luck an my ex asked if he could hang out with us. I said yes even though I’d never met him before it felt right. The first time I saw him he looked so wounded and broken and when I saw his eyes it was like the world shifted and all I saw was him. I also knew that we would end up in bed together in one year. Lo and behold. A year later my ex put his hands on me. My TF carried me out of the room that night. I remember coming around and kicking the door down to get to my son then kicking my ex out of the apartment. My TF and I got together but he was definitely the runner and I was the chaser until I became tired of chasing and I told him that we were either going to be together or we weren’t but I wasn’t going to chase him every time he had a meltdown. We used to fight so much and it got so bad a lot of times. Didn’t help that I was pregnant with our son. Fast forward to 2020 and we went through a really traumatic legal issue and we finally in 2021 are coming to the end of it. Throughout this past year we have learned to fight less, communicate more. He has learned to let me love him like he deserves and I have learned to be vulnerable and trust him to handle things. We have our moments and our moments can be just as bad and intense as they used to be but for the most part it’s just worked and posturing and we quickly forgive and get over whatever it is together. It’s funny because I always thought that the whole romance thing was boring but I didn’t realize my TF would be so intense.
I met my twin flame when I was 14 . It was at a friends house in a swimming pool he’s was dating one of my close friends at the time and they was hugging in the pool an I on the other end of the pool . He looked at me an we locked eyes , it was intense but back then I had no idea what it meant .
Over the years he kept popping back up into my life . Friends of mutual friends and etc.
Eventually after I got out of a toxic relationship was really was just looking to feel loved or wanted at least I reached out to him on social media . We began talking an instantly it felt natural an easy , we saw each other a few times an had some very intense kisses , but something felt off for me almost like it was happening to fast so I ended it an went back to my ex.
I still thought about my twin an how the kisses felt for the years following . Fast forward I met the man in with now an turns out he’s close friends with my twin they grew up together .
So my twin starts to come around here an there a couple times .
Well fast forward again some months or yrs later , it’s been so long I’ve lost Track .
But anyways so the man I’m with now turns out he was cheating on me quite a bit an it all comes out .
I leave him for a little while but eventually went back home as we shared a house an had a blended family together.
I slept in another room for a few weeks an had decided that I was leaving for good .
Something in me told me to contact my twin so I did .
We began to talk an we quickly picked up where we left off the years before an again it was very natural an easy .
Also very intense very quickly .
We stayed talking for a few weeks an started to met up .
The kisses omg I can’t even explain the feeling . It was like our souls was merging into one , dancing with one another . It was magic . We could make love from just our lips touching . It was very very intense . We both felt it .
He was very vocal about how he felt for me .
The first time we said I love you we both cried .
At this time I had every plan to move completely out of the house with my current partner an be with my twin .
But again something felt off .
I felt wrong for leaving the Children I raised as my own for years an I didn’t want to split up the family that had grown together , I know I know even after the man I was with cheated I still felt this way .
It was a intense feeling if I had to put others before me . I felt stupid for staying. Especially when I felt the way I did about my twin .
Fast forward some time an my twin and I go back an forth from having communication to no communication.
We went back an forth to me wanting to leave to be with my twin to me changing my mind again an running.
I’ve been running from my twin for about 6 years now . We don’t have much communication but every once in a while we check on one another . We both feel the same about the connection an both agree it’s a bond that is unbreakable.
The journey through it all has been the most painful experience for us both.
I’m taking yrs of grieving an crying an crying .
Im still with the man who cheated on me multiple times an even thought he has changed an earned my forgiveness . I can’t help the way I feel for my twin . I cannot let go though I have tried many many times . The memories of our kisses still haunt me . I long to feel that feeling of our souls dancing together . I can only hope that after years of growing an healing wounds that we both are close to being healed enough and my life lessions and journey with my karmatic parter are coming to a end.
I’d love to hear some feedback on our TF connection.
I met my TF three years ago but, he was married at the time. We would chat when we saw each other. Then his marriage ended and we became friends. That lasted a month and then we started the most passionate, soul connecting yet turbulent relationship I have ever been in. At the 6 month mark, he proposed, I said yes. We planned our wedding three times and three times we had to put it on hold due to circumstances beyond our control. Unfortunately his ex wife and children (mainly adult children), did everything in their power to ruin our relationship and in the end, they succeeded. We had two temporary separations, as the stress uncovered my shadow and I couldn’t control the darkness that showed itself. His family in the beginning adored me but, ended up despising me and pushed him to move back into his house, the house of horrors (so much abuse on every level has happened in that house). I had to end our relationship. We’re friends, secretly spending time with each other but, the connection is broken and there’s too much opposition to our union. I desperately want to be patient and believe that we can reunite for good but, reality is speaking. I cannot live without him. He is my mirror, my best friend, my love. It hurts. A pain never experienced before. I’m not prepared to walk this earth with my TF by my side.
This is hard stuff. I’m in what might be a unique situation with separation. My TF and I share mutual friends, so even though he won’t speak to me we still see each other on social media, and occasionally in person (he’s distant then). After many months I saw him at a friend’s house. I was feeling like I was ok with not having him in my life, and potentially never seeing him. And now. I am better than I ever have been, but so help me, those eyes. He usually avoids looking me in the eyes. It took a couple hours and some alcohol (for him) this time but he finally made eye contact with me. Bruh. I couldn’t look away but I couldn’t think straight. Like I had planned to mentally talk to him if it happened and instead, duhhhhhh. I really really wanted to at least say I miss you. Idk about anyone else, but we can be near each other without too much electricity, but if we make eye contact, it’s over. That’s when our connection kicks in. I literally dream about those eyes. I could just get lost in them. They are the most intense blue. I end up feeling like a silly high school kid with a crush. It’s ridiculous. I can’t help myself, I just want to stare into his eyes, lean in and kiss him with all my soul. I have finally begun to understand that the physical craving is a want for my soul to be with his, and since we are in human form the only way to do that that my human self knows is physical connection. I’m still working hard to be ok with not having that in this life. And I’m a lot more ok than I’ve ever been with it. But man, those eyes still destroy me. I’ve seen fire in a man’s eyes before and yes I’ll admit it’s a turn on, but this is different. It’s not fire. It’s…hell, I honestly don’t know words for it. But it’s like an irresistible force. And it makes me feel weak. I feel like until I can look into his eyes and still think clearly reunion is impossible. The thought of a relationship with him both terrifies me (because I know I would be putty) and exhilarates me (because we’d be fire together). So I know it can’t happen yet. He’s strong willed and I can’t be putty. Not only is that unhealthy but it can’t last. He’d get bored and I’d get worn out. Universe give me strength, cuz I can’t help but think about that connection and the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen….
This whole journey had been so…weird. I am literally questioning everything. What is love, what brings people together, do you need common interests, why do we stay with someone…what’s toxic what’s not. Can you love someone with your whole soul and still not want a relationship with them. How is that possible. How can tf signs just keep being there. Can the new person I met that shares interests, communication style, goals be a planted distraction or something as my TF journey meant to bring me to him instead of my TF. What about my so. Can I ever truly let go of my TF. Will I ever be able to sleep, really sleep, again…ugh…
Welp. This is just so incredibly weird. I try to move on from my TF. Talking to a new friend. Like deep stuff. Between convo moments look at insta pix and blam. My tfs last name in some rando pic. Like ok yeah I can’t possibly forget his existence. But thnx for throwing it in my face.
I met my Twin for the first time in these bodies in my first year of university. We attended the same lecture. I felt her energy, a force greater than I had ever known, from over 20 feet away. At the time, I was so insecure that I had no courage to go up to her – but to my shock, after the lecture ended, she was standing in front of me, looking into my eyes. We exited time. I was awakened to my eternal Self.
I did not even learn her name for the first few weeks. We would connect in lecture, and she implicitly made it clear that she wanted to have a relationship with me. I was far too insecure to accept that much love. I was unable to share my feelings with her, with words at least.
A few months into this, I mustered the courage to suggest we study together, since I was far too scared to open up any deeper. She was furious. I will never forget the look of anger and disgust on her face.
The next and final time that I saw her was one month later in the exam hall. She came in on the opposite side of the room, carrying a guitar. She didn’t look around the room – but knowing how intuitive she is, she would have known where I sat.
We texted for a bit. She told me that she went across the world, and that she felt me in the woods once.
This was 1.5 years ago. She now lives somewhere else, has a boyfriend, and seems very happy with the life she has created for herself. I know all of this from social media – we have not texted at all since then.
This past week, I have been unable to get her off of my mind. I did ceremonies and opened up to the knowledge contained within my own soul. I saw how we are the same soul in higher dimensions, but chose to incarnate into different causal, astral and physical bodies. I saw infinite lifetimes of pain, suffering, and torture, unconsciously directed towards each other. We have each been both the persecutor and the persecuted, endlessly running through the universe, chasing our own tail.
Now, we have chosen to incarnate on Earth as human beings at the same time, with uncanny synchronicities between us. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that she has free will and that the most I can do is send her love and respect her individuality. The deeper I go into my own soul, the more I see that our separateness is an illusion anyway, and that I don’t need her to do anything in order to feel complete in the knowledge that I (aka We) are One.
Y’all omg I can’t even. I finally surrendered to seperation. Like felt at peace. My tf and I haven’t spoke to each other in a while, it’s ok. I told the universe it could kick sand and stop bombarding me with signs cuz IDGAF Then. Last night. Had another dream like two others. Some sort of movie or something, but in a group. We were sitting next to each other. And he held me, like to comfort me unlike my so where it always feels like I’m his security blanket. Then we kissed. Close mouthed but lips pressed to each other’s. F bomb. Like an awaking while asleep. I can’t even explain the feeling. Still hits me in the gut to think about. Whhyyyy. I was feeling ok finally. This was like the other two, I feel like it wasn’t just a dream but it was shared. Ugghhh
I don’t know if this is relevant but it’s odd. I keep seeing references to the ascended symbol for his astrological sign (there’s only one that has this so if you know astrology you know what I mean. Bird on fire). Tbh he’s been a pretty toxic nasty person, not to me ever aside from lying and not talking to me, but in relationships. A lot like my so sadly. One reason I could never ever even consider a relationship with him was that. But now I keep seeing that bird. Or the name. Idk maybe it means he’s ascending to a higher state too. I desperately want to be a better person myself, and persue a life that makes me happy. Now I can’t stop wondering if we’re getting close to reunion in a more than friends way. Wow. That kiss y’all. Still hittin me hardddd. Efffffnnnaaaa. Oh. He always wishes me a happy birthday but didn’t this year. But day before I knew he wasn’t going to. Heard a song…didn’t mean to miss your birthday baby wish was there to see you blow those candles out…I really just want to be happy. That dream…I can’t shake it now. I was at peace… Whyyyyyyy. Lol also had to laugh cuz I don’t know what else to do but right after I posted the first message I got in my car an it was 11:11. Smh. Twisted. That’s what the universe is. Efing twisted.
So all this. And meeting a couple new people that treat me like a person. I think I understand separation and surrender now. I would have done just about anything to keep my TF in my life. Even accepted toxic behavior. I’m slowly getting to a point where I won’t. Its difficult because I understand his why he is how he is and have great sympathy for it but it isn’t a reason to accept it. I have to think more of myself. Love myself more. And I’m on a path to maybe fulfilling my own dreams for once. Maybe my purpose. Ah, peace. Not always and I crave him sometimes and effffffffff that kiss still rocks me but…peace.
Omg laughing. In a bar and out of no where no music…then… everything I do comes on. That’s it. Ends again. For real. Smh.
I realized something about the night of the dream. It was either the after or the night that he read a message I sent him asking him not to do something dangerous he kept saying he was gonna do. He didn’t reply but I saw the time stamp. Universal give me strength to try not to crave him in my life and keep pulling at his energy. Because I can’t seem to keep him out of my head.
I met my twin flame when I was 12 ,but at the time I didn’t know it. We were in the daycare line and I remember us being so little ,but the intensity in his eyes when he first saw me was unforgettable. I smiled and he asked my little brother “who’s that?” and my brother responded “my sister”. We were getting ready to go back to the daycare facility and after that day we were inseparable. He was my first kiss and I was his, we spent all summer together and it was our first and last because he would no longer be able to go to daycare since he was going to be to old and was moving to a different school across town. A year passes and I’m now 13, I’m walking the halls of my new middle school because I had moved across town too and I see him……..I couldn’t believe it was him ,but there he was….looking down at his schedule, I ran up to him and gave him a hug and he was just as surprised as I was when I first noticed him and once again we became inseparable. Another year passes and I’m now 14. We’re now in high school and conversations start getting a little heavy, they’re different and it’s no longer just about kissing ,but about other things we’re both curious about like loosing our virginities to one another. All we did was talk about it because the biggest separation of all was coming. I wasn’t just moving across town again I was moving to a completely different city. We said our goodbyes and kept the line of communication open through social media. He had a couple serious girlfriends, moved out of our home town. I got married, had a baby then got divorced. Im now 25 and a few months after my separation I had a very casual dream about me and him and when I woke up I checked to see if I still had him on social media, I did. We reconnected and started texting morning, noon, and night. Still living in different cities we kept the texting going and a few months into us reconnecting I finally started to feel something other then all the negativity and heartache that came with my separation. He moved back home and I visited family in our home town and finally hung out with him for the first time in 10 years and 7 months of texting, calling and FaceTime. We got wrapped up in the energy and still had an undeniable connection. We went back to his place and it finally happened. In that moment and after I felt unconditional love, mutual respect, safe, peaceful, calm…..I felt like I was home. We said goodbye and I go back home 500 miles away ,but a couple months later life was pulling me to come back to my hometown. I made the move, not for him but for lots of other pros and he was just the sugar on top. Once I made the move he could no longer use our distance as an excuse but then he started to become distance himself. Would make excuses to not hang out and would disappear for days without any explanation which he didn’t owe me one but he use to give me one when he thought I needed one before. More time passes and I’m at a point where I can no longer respect his decision to want to be alone so I let him know how I’m feeling for him for the 3rd time since we reconnected last year and he still doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship, so of course I’m hurt because it wasn’t the response I wanted I then took a month to lick my wounds and also needed that time to decide if I could move forward being his friend and friend only so when I did come around he didn’t respond which was so unlike him ,but thought maybe he’s just busy. I gave him a few days….still nothing. Asked him if he was okay didn’t get a reply. It’s been 2 months since we had a conversation and I haven’t heard anything. I’ve let him know that I love him and care for him and I’m here if he needs anything ,but have decided to leave him alone and has been the worst battle I’ve had to fight internally. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this. I’m so confused, sad, hurt ,but I’m just gonna continue to leave him alone and pray he comes around and focus on myself.