Jane from the United States asks:
Do people deserve to be (or are naturally) cursed? I’m actually a Christian, but I delved into black magic because of a spiteful teacher and abuse in the past, but I feel as though this black magic has followed me into adulthood.
She goes on to explain:
Ever since then bad things have occurred. For example, recently I’ve had black cats stare at me, and when I turn my head to look back, they’re gone. After that, I’ve either had completely bad or good things happen. Maybe I’m nuts … but I’m just tired of these coincidences, and I feel as though I’ve paid my due. I just want peace and healing.
Is There Such a Thing as Bad Luck or Cursed People?
My answer to this question is yes, and no. But stay with me, I’ll explain to you why I have given such an ambiguous answer.
One of our greatest issues as a species is believing that anything outside of ourselves has power over us; power to control us, power to hurt us, and power to curse us with bad luck. Unfortunately we’re raised since childhood believing that this is the case, particularly with the teaching that there is an external God up in the sky waiting to punish us, or that there are outside ghosts, fairies, witches and other beings who can put spells on us, or somehow possess us to do evil, or to suffer.
The problem with these indoctrinated perceptions is that they are completely false, and perpetuate the myth that the world is divided: that we are all separate beings, when in fact, we are all One and finely interconnected. This is known as the divine web of life, a web that you can easily see and experience if you learn not to trust your thoughts, beliefs, judgments, assumptions and other mental conditionings for long enough. But this firstly requires you to cultivate self-awareness.
Do you have enough self-awareness? If you do, you would realize that you are actually responsible for your bad luck – or at least, your perception of what bad luck is.
If you unconsciously believe that you deserve to suffer, you will find any way to confirm this belief and to bring it about.
You might like to call this the law of attraction; that what you think is reflected in your reality. Or perhaps you might like to diagnose this with a more scientific term: confirmation bias.
What is Confirmation Bias?
Confirmation bias is a form of mental trickery which often gives birth to irrational and fearful behavior. It is basically our tendency to filter the world through the eyes of our preconceptions. So for example, if I believed that the government was out to get me, I would look for any way to confirm that belief by getting paranoid of businessmen on the street, or looking quickly over my shoulder at a woman with a briefcase who makes eye contact with me, or any number of other means.
Confirmation bias is also common in religion, where our tendency to believe in a god of some kind makes us more susceptible to focus on, interpret, and look for any signs that this god exists, e.g. miracles, coincidences, successes, symbols, dreams, and other phenomena. However, our bias, and the clues that this bias is “real” often have no place in reality.
Therefore, if you believe in black magic, and if you believe that something outside of yourself can control or predict your fate, you are much more susceptible to a confirmation bias that believes in bad luck, or being “cursed.” Furthermore, if you feel guilty about dabbling in black magic as a result of your religious beliefs, you might develop the unconscious core belief that “you deserve to suffer” as a result of your wrongdoing. Thus, fueled with guilt, you seek to unconsciously punish yourself by seeking out any proof you can that reveals you are “cursed” or have “bad luck.”
The reality is that the only bad luck you have is the kind that you have unknowingly created for yourself as a result of your belief that you are separate from everything else, your belief that you are powerless, and your belief that you deserve to be punished.
In truth, bad things always happen, no matter whether you have good or bad luck. But your underlying perception, beliefs, and worldview all contribute to how you deal with these bad situations, and whether you choose to learn from them, or let them torment you.
Finding Peace When You Believe the World is Out to Get You
For a long time I struggled with the sensation that other people were out to get me. Through time, however, I have come to learn that this is a very childlike and limited way of perceiving life. The truth is that life is much bigger than my tiny fragmented sense of self, and it is bigger than your tiny fragmented sense of self as well.
One of the best ways to grow past a self-centric perception of the world is to go on the path of inner evolution. Starting with cultivating self-awareness is a vital step in this growth and healing process, so I encourage you to read this article to help you begin, and to also consider other practices like meditation, mindfulness and ecotherapy.
You will also benefit from exploring your core beliefs and the ways in which they influence your perception of the world. Read this article to learn more about how to discover your core beliefs.
Lastly, I encourage you to experiment with your perspective. Try going just 1 day deliberately looking for all the good, beautiful and fortunate things you have in your life. Alter your routine, try a new path, and be spontaneous. See the beauty inherent in you, in others, and in the outer world, and how it is always present around you, no matter what darkness is there.
Taking self-responsibility and realizing that the only bad luck is the kind you create for yourself liberates you from the illusion of being a victim. Remember: you are the creator of your reality.