Out of suffering have emerged the strongest Souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
โย Khalil Gibran
At some point, most of us spiritual wanderers, seekers, and lone wolves go through a phenomenon known as the Dark Night of the Soul.
Although we try to run from it, it is still there. Although we try to cover it up and smother it, it is still there. Although we try to put on a happy, smiley face and pretend it away, it’s still there.
While some of us seek reprieve in religious thought, others of us seek respite in spiritual philosophy or psychology, and still, others seek relief through addiction and mind-numbing external pursuits.
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The truth is that although we are all born with Souls, not all of us know how to fully embody and integrate them into our human experience. The reality is that in our modern world, we live ego-centrically rather than Soul-centrically.
Mystics, saints, and shamans throughout history have all referred to this ego-centric human struggle in different ways. But the one thing they all had in common was their tendency to point to the need for us to consciously grow into our Divine potential.
One of these people was Saint John of the Cross, a Spanish monk who coined the term “Dark Night of the Soul” (“Noche Oscura” the name of one of his poems) based on his own mystical experience.
These days, the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul has come to be used in a much broader way. What was once a term reserved for people actively going through a Spiritual Journey, has now come to easily label anything ranging from a few bad days and a period of depression to the death of a loved one.
But what really is the Dark Night of the Soul?
(Note: if you feel the need for further gentle guidance after reading this article, I recommend checking out our Dark Night of the Soul Journal which is a wonderfully supportive way of finding a continued sense of direction and healing.)
Table of contents
- What is the Dark Night of the Soul?
- Dark Night and Depression โ Is it the Same Thing?
- 7 Omens That Herald the Dark Night of the Soul
- Why Suffering is Necessary
- What is the Point of Living?
- Happiness Isnโt This or That, Happiness IS
- The Dark Night and The Spiritual Awakening Process
- Dark Night of the Soul Meditation
- Time to Go Into the Dark
First, we’ll start with a basic definition:
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What is the Dark Night of the Soul?
The Dark Night of the Soul is a period of utter spiritual desolation, disconnection, and emptiness in which one feels totally separated from the Divine.
Those who experience the Dark Night feel completely lost, hopeless, and consumed with melancholy.
The Dark Night of the Soul can be likened to severe spiritual depression (it’s a type of spiritual emergency.)
The concept of having a Dark Night of the Soul has existed for a long time, and spans back to the 16th century when poet and Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem entitled, โLa noche oscura del alma (The Dark Night of the Soul).โ
Wrote Saint John:
If a man wishes to be sure of the road heโs traveling on, then he must close his eyes and travel in the dark.
Traditionally, the Dark Night of the Soul refers to the experience of losing touch with God/Creator and being plunged into the abyss of godless emptiness.
The modern understanding of having a Dark Night of the Soul, however, is not exclusively a religious one, but can often mean losing all meaning in life, feeling out-of-touch with the Divine, feeling betrayed or forsaken by Life, and having no solid or stable ground to stand on.
Some of the heaviest questions we ask during this period include for example, โWhy am I alive?โ โWhy do good people suffer?โ โWhat is truth?โ โIs there a god or afterlife?โ and โWhat is the point of living?โ
Download FREE Dark Night Journaling Prompts!
These introspective journaling prompts teach you how to explore and move through your Dark Night of the Soul!
Dark Night and Depression โ Is it the Same Thing?
The Dark Night of the Soul is not the same as depression.
Although depression shares many of its characteristics with the experience of having a Dark Night of the Soul, it can often be treated and sometimes cured with medications, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, lifestyle changes, and so forth.
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Furthermore, depression often has its roots in biological chemical imbalances and/or unhealthy thought patterns, and often comes as a result of personal loss, mental illness, physical illness, abuse, genetics, and so on.
However, while the Dark Night of the Soul isn’t the same as regular depression, it can be thought of as spiritual depression.
One of the biggest differences between the Dark Night of the Soul’s depression and regular depression is that the Dark Night is primarily a spiritual and existential form of crisis that canโt be treated or cured with therapy or psychiatry.
Therefore, those of us going through the Dark Night can often feel an increasing sense of hopelessness, unease, and despair as we discover that no one can save us but ourselves.
Inevitably, this makes us feel even more alone, frustrated, and confused about the world and about ourselves.
I am intensely aware of what it is like to experience complete psychological and spiritual desolation and although the feeling seems endless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you just know where to look.
7 Omens That Herald the Dark Night of the Soul
I am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses.ย
โ Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra
“What’s the difference between the dark night and depression?” you may still wonder.
Even back in the 16th century, Saint John of the Cross himself was at great pains to distinguish the Dark Night from mere melancholia (depression).
After all, the symptoms of the Dark Night of the Soul are not that different from depression.
But while depression is psychological/neurological/biological, the Dark Night heralds deep-seated changes occurring within us known as spiritual transformation.
Here are 7 “omens” that you might be going through a Dark Night of the Soul:
- You feel a deep sense of sadness, which oftenย verges on despair (this sadness is often triggered by the state of your life, humanity, and/or the world as a whole)
- You feel an acute sense of unworthiness
- You have the constant feeling of being lost or “condemned” to a life of suffering or emptiness
- You possess a painful feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness
- Your will and self-control is weakened, making it difficult for you to act
- You lack interest and find no joy in things that once excited you
- You crave for the loss of something intangible; a longing for a distant place or to “return home” again
(You can also take our free Dark Night of the Soul test to help you discover whether you’re going through this experience or not.)
The ultimate difference between regular depression and the Dark Night of the Soul’s depression is that regular depression is usually self-centric, whereas the Dark Night’s depression is philosophical in nature and is accompanied by existential reflections such as “Why am I here?” and “What is my purpose?”
Also, when depression ends, not much changes in your life in terms of your beliefs, values, and habits.
However, when the Dark Night of the Soul ends, everything in your life is transformed, and life becomes wondrous again.
Why Suffering is Necessary
My desire to live is as intense as ever, and though my heart is broken, hearts are made to be broken: that is why God sends sorrow into the world โฆ To me, suffering seems now a sacramental thing, that makes those whom it touches holy โฆ any materialism in life coarsens the soul.
โ Oscar Wilde “Letters“
Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dฤ browski once coined the term Positive disintegration, which views tension and anxiety as a necessary part of the process of spiritual and psychological maturing.
In other words, it is the friction within us that causes the mirror of our Souls to be polished enough for us to glimpse our True Nature.
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I often hear people speak of the Dark Night as some kind of problem they have to “fix,” or something they “went through a long time ago, that is now over, thank God.”
But what these people thought was a Dark Night may have just been a glimpse of the darkness within them, especially when they speak egotistically about it as if it were a badge of honor.
A true Dark Night of the Soul leaves a long-lasting impact on you โ it changes you completely.
When you exit a Dark Night, you will discover that something is always taken away from you (for the better), such as your beliefs, your perceptions, your former meaning in life, or even in rare cases, your ego identification.
The metaphysician Ananda Coomaraswamy put it this way:
No creature can attain a higher grade of nature without ceasing to exist.
Have you ever seen a butterfly begin to emerge from its cocoon? It must struggle in order to strengthen its wings.
If someone frees the butterfly from its cocoon prematurely, it won’t be able to fly because its crucial tempering stage will not have occurred.
The same is true for trees. Trees need wind in order to build their structural strength to stay upright.
Your Dark Night of the Soul is your wind, your cocoon; it is an ego death whereby you shed the ego that prevents you from embodying your Soul.
If you try to avoid the hard work of, as Ananda put it, “ceasing to exist,” or breaking down your old confining structures, you won’t have what it takes to truly embody your essential nature.
What is the Point of Living?
Here’s another central question and concern that emerges over and over again during our Dark Night of the Soul.
What is the point of living?
Such a question weighs down on us like lead, oppressing us constantly.
Each day, we might obsessively search for an answer, but find to our greatest dismay that the answers to such a question are as expansive as the waves on the ocean.
Some people tell us, โthe point is to serve God,โ others tell us, โthe point is to make a difference,โ and others tell us, โthere is no point: you make your own meaning.โ
These are only three of hundreds, even thousands of possible answers.
What the hell are we supposed to do?
Who is right, who is wrong โฆ if there really is any โrightโ or โwrongโ answer? We walk down one path and immediately become dissatisfied, disillusioned, and repelled by what we discover.
Then we walk down another path and history repeats itself again and again until we realize with horror, โEvery path is meaningless to me,โ and we collapse in grief and despair, winding up at square one again.
Such a cycle repeats itself over and over again during the Dark Night of the Soul, so much so that it can become like torment. I know because I have experienced it.
The strange thing is that although we get to a point of complete desolation, we still hold a glimmer of hope that pursuing the same path over and over and over again will somehow bring us to a deeply satisfying meaning one day.
We seem to think that the mind is the solution to our problems; that utilizing the mind will release us from the original prison created by the mind that feels the need to quantify, measure, and define everything.
What most of us fail to do, however, is to question the actual questions we are asking and pursuing the answers to. Have you ever tried asking:
Why must there be a point to living? Instead of, What is the point of living?
I’ll elaborate on this below.
Happiness Isnโt This or That, Happiness IS
Earlier today I opened my email and received a poignant message from one of our long-time readers asking:
I don’t understand. Why am I alive? Why do I experience life? I don’t know why I am here now. I don’t see the point of living my life. I don’t want anything, not material /physical achievements, not relationships, not entertainment, nothing. I don’t know what to do with this body, mind, and feelings. Or maybe I just experience this life too intensely until I am numbed. But why?
My answer to anyone experiencing this is that although you might feel cursed, you are actually blessed. It sounds absurd, even insulting, but this is the truth.
Before any true growth or healing can occur, there must be a process of destruction and complete annihilation of everything you thought would bring you happiness.
Most people experiencing Dark Nights realize this: that nothing makes them happy anymore; not bodily, not sexual, not emotional, not material, not political, not social, not even spiritual. And this is the start of the purification process.
Conditioning vs. reality …
Since birth you have been conditioned to believe that money will make you happy, a sexy/rich partner will make you happy, a high IQ will make you happy, a big house will make you happy, a thriving career will make you happy, a perfect life will make you happy.
But this is all a lie because whenever you pursue happiness, you are immediately losing touch with the fact that happiness is already here, right now, in this very second, without you having to do anything or question anything. Happiness IS.
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$3This sounds like the most ridiculous thing you might have ever heard, and yet deep down you might sense the truth in it.
If this is the case the first layer of your illusion has been peeled away; what a blessing!
A blessing in disguise …
In reality, it is absolutely terrifying to have the ground beneath your feet ripped out from beneath you, and this is precisely what we experience during the Dark Night of the Soul.
And yet, this experience is the greatest teacher of all to us because it illuminates what is fragile, transient, and subject to change, growth, and decay.
We are subsequently left with a feeling of great inner emptiness, but within this emptiness, we eventually come to see what can never come, go, change or die, and that is the truth of who we are: pure, peaceful, and blissful conscious essence.
The mind is always frantically searching …
The mind is a product of our evolutionary development: it protects us and structures our existence, and through it, we can experience the beauty of life.
But in order to truly come to any closure during our Dark Nights we must understand that the mind is limited, narrow, and finite โ and therefore so is our reasoning.
Why must there be a โpointโ to living other than the experience of being alive in all of its fascinating and shocking diversity? Why must we โpursueโ or โfindโ something rather than simply experiencing each moment fully and completely in the simplicity of Being?
That is why I say that happiness isnโt this or that, happiness IS.
What exactly are we seeking when we want to answer the question, โWhat is the point of livingโ? We want a satisfactory answer that will appeal to the mind and “GIVE” us happiness.
But happiness canโt be given because happiness IS. This might all sound like fancy rhetoric, but I recommend that you let it sink in and really look into it more.
For me it took years, but these six questionsย helped to solidify the understanding that happiness and fulfillment are already here, now. Please read them to continue your journey.
The Dark Night and The Spiritual Awakening Process
As humans, the prospect of change is avoided and resisted because it is unknown territory. Therefore, we fear it. For this reason, we require a Spiritual Awakening.
There are three ways that Spiritual Awakenings can occur:
the first is at the hands of wise spiritual teachers, the second is through the spiritual drive of soulfully mature people, and the third is spontaneouslyย due to life experience.
Spontaneous awakenings arrive in a number of ways: a terminal diagnosis, old age, a near-death experience, a physical accident, the loss of a loved one, a romantic breakup, the destruction of your home or homeland, suicidal depression, or the complete loss of your religious faith.
The Dark Night is a herald, an omen, of change. It lets us know that we can’t continue living the way we have been living. There is no growth, no awakening in life, to life, without first seeing and acknowledging our existing disappointment.
Acknowledging our disappointmentย means becoming aware of the deeply held sense of “incompletion” that we all carry; it means becoming aware that something is desperately missing from our lives.
Those that have experienced, or are currently experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul will know that something very fundamental at a core level is out of focus or completely lacking in their lives.
Those going through a Dark Night will sense that so much more is possible in their lives, even though they don’t exactly know what that “so much more” is.
Paradise lost and found …
One of the common reasons why Dark Nights occurย and are prolonged is due to mystical experiences, or short glimpses of the divine, which spiritual teachers often refer to as “grace” or samฤdhi.
Soon afterward, the person “loses” this experience, and is plunged into unhappiness again. This is called the “halo effect,” “afterglow” or what the Sufis speak of as the “sobriety of union.”
Why does the “halo effect” happen? It happens because of the stark contrast between one’s rediscovered Divine Self and the return to one’s disconnected and tormented Ego self.
To the spiritually mature person, the halo effect sets the stage for a future encounter with the transcendental, with God.
However, for the less prepared seeker, the glimpse into the Divine stirs up even more distress as old habits, obsessions, thoughts, and behaviors reappear. Now, such a person realizes that he has a long, complex, and demanding task of purification and transformation ahead of him.
In Spiritual Alchemy, there is a word for this experience called solutio; putting all the hard stuff in the waters of reflection (your ideas, your habits, etc.), where it dissolves and breaks apart, shows itself for what it is, and gives you the opportunity for a fresh start.
Find freedom through purging …
The solution to one’s suffering and disconnection from the divine realm can be any method of cutting away, dislodging, disintegrating, and clearing old pieces of your life so that you can begin afresh.
Essentially, the Dark night is a process of shedding away your old home and going in search of a new one.
Understandably, this process requires a huge leap of faith into the unknown which can come at quite a sudden and frightening pace.
If you think you might be going through this journey, it’s important to understand that many of us have been where you are. Many people still are.
There is no map, there is only the flickering luminescence of your Soul to light the way.
Spiritual Wanderer Course:
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I hope our work can encourage, embolden, and support you if you are undertaking this descent into your Underworld.
Dark Night of the Soul Meditation
While every experience of the Dark Night of the Soul is different, the one common thread is that it is a path of initiation.
You are in the dark so that you can understand what Light is. You are disconnected so that you can know what connection is. You are lost so that you can find your way back Home.
If these explanations of the Dark Night don’t resonate with you, please go ahead and discard them.
I’m not here to tell you what the Dark Night of the Soul shouldย mean because, ultimately,ย youย must figure that out for yourself.
You need to be the one to make meaning out of your experience. I can only offer my own understanding.
If you have read up until this point you are probably looking for additional help, and that is completely understandable.
However, the Dark Night of the Soul is a complex and profound experience and it cannot be solved by reading a “six-step” formula or bullet list.
What Iย canย offer you, however, is a simple meditation which may provide you with some level of relief.
When you can dredge up enough energy (I know how exhausting and depleting the Dark Night can be), try experimenting with the following Dark Night of the Soul meditation:
Find a quiet and undisturbed place. If you like, play some celestial or ethereal music in the background to set the mood. Lie down and close your eyes. For a minute or two focus on your breath. Feel your chest rise and fall. Once you feel connected with your body, shift your focus to creating an image of yourself walking through a dark forest. Imagine that you are looking above to see the dark tangled branches of the forest obscure the sky. What does the forest feel like? Is it cold, hot, balmy, humid or icy? Can you smell, feel, or taste anything?
As you keep walking through the dark forest, the path in front of you seems endless. The atmosphere feels deathly and melancholic. Suddenly, a white wolf emerges from the trees. It looks at you with intelligent and kind eyes and begins to accompany you as you walk. Your feeling of loneliness lifts slightly as you enjoy the company of your animal friend. Suddenly, the wolf beside you stops and stares intensely into the dark trees ahead of you. You peer ahead but cannot see anything but dark shadows. Suddenly, your wolf companion lifts up his head and lets out a loud and haunting wolf call.
The hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Just after the wolf stops howling, a white light slowly emerges from deep within the forest. At first, the light is tiny and like a pinprick. But as you walk towards it, the light becomes bigger and brighter. A feeling of hope begins to fill you.ย Tentatively, you start jogging towards the light. You notice that the faster you run, the bigger the light gets. The closer you move to the light, the more open and expansive you feel. You pick up your pace. The feeling is exhilarating! Far behind you, the white wolf howls again. A feeling of wildness and freedom starts to warm you from the inside out.ย As you continue running, the light begins to consume your vision. The dark forest begins to quickly fade. As you look down, you notice that your legs are the legs of a wolf โ without knowing it, you have experienced a total transformation โ and it is liberating! Picking up your pace, you keep running and you let out a loud howl. The piercing sound of the howl dissolves all hopelessness, sadness, and darkness left within you. The howl has completely purified you. All that remains is pure light, love, hope, power, and peace. You feel spacious and open. You are free!
Enjoy the feeling of freedom for as long as you wish. When you are ready, wiggle your fingers and toes and return back to the room. You may like to journal about your experience.
Feel free to record this visualization, get someone to read it out to you gently, or change the meditation to your own liking. It has been created to ultimately benefitย you.ย
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Time to Go Into the Dark
To end this article,ย I’ll leave you with one of my favorite Dark Night of the Soul quotes by David Whyte โ a man who understood the value of making peace with the darkness:
… Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.The dark will be your womb
tonight.The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free inGive up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learnanything or anyone
that does not bring you aliveis too small for you.
โย “Sweet Darkness” by David Whyte
Now, over to you:
What has your experience been like with the Dark Night of the Soul? Please share below to help others not feel so alone.
P.S. If you’re experiencing the Dark Night and desperately need more guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for extra help. Our article on Soul Work might also be of assistance to you.
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Letโs just say that it takes some serious strength and willpower to get through this thing. Just imagine your deepest, darkest fears amplified and showing absolutely no mercy for months on end. It is the most agonizing and horrifying place to be, and it does not go down without a fight. I will not sugar coat it, if you are going through this, itโs going to suck pretty bad for a long time. Whatever you do, do not fight it and try to stay calm. Let your body experience whatever it is you are feeling. If you are religious, pray. If not, do whatever you have to do to stay calm and alive. It is a fight for your life. Do not give up. You got this. Trust me, once you experience whatโs on the other side, you will be glad it happened to you.
Hey dude, youre going thru the exact same thing. I can tell by your words. These other kids dont know what the fuck theyre talking about. Trust me. You nailed it with the description. Do u ever think were in this alone? The entire universe? Maybe im insane. But think of it. All humans are external reflections. To ask for external help, it must first resonate within. Only us can save us. But dang its good 2 kno someone else is going thru this. Well not really.but good im not alone. Just what the fuck tho. Like what the fucking fuckedy fuck
Your problem is obvious, you cant shed your ego. Your ego finds comfort in victimhood. ‘No my experience is the worst’ ‘These kids dont have it as bad as me’
Should they be sorry they didnt write there experience in a way that satisfies your ego? Or should you be sorry you judge people based on your own victimhood ego?
Take a step back and realise that the world doesnt revolve around you my friend.
People like you are the reason those in the dark place decide to give up and end their lives. So what if they are struggling to escape victimhood? Shame on them? Really?? Is that all you’re good for? Maybe try being understanding. I can tell you haven’t ever been truly trapped, against your will. No one who has would ever think something so crass and over generalized as “just don’t be a victim”. Have you ever been raped? Imprisoned? Beaten? Stabbed? Left to die?
Uhh. The privileged ones always emphasize their position on the other side, rather than relatable empathy in understanding what it feels like to be in the position of the one who hasn’t made it, yet.
Your words are such an encouragement right now. I’d be here all day if I went into it but yes Its getting worse and worse with more and more intensity ! Its stuff daily and I’m struggling to stay alive as u say x
Hi there. I love this website itโs so good for reading and getting some guidance. For me I am really in need for some guidance as I am struggelling. Iโve recently gone through a spiritual awakening and so after it I really didnโt allow space for it. I managed to really sort of cook my brain if you will. From the people I was around to resistance. Does anybody have an idea on what I should do? Thanks you have no idea how much help would be appreciated. โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
Thank you Rikki for sharing. If the experience of Spiritual Awakening ‘cooked your brain’, perhaps it may be more than just awakening as although it’s a deconstructive process, it definitely isn’t the pain I think you’re describing. We’ve created a free Spiritual Awakening Course that may provide some clarity for you.
Great work! I think a lot of people are misdiagnosed. It all boils down to whatโs going on spiritually as to whatโs going on mentally. Mind is the builder.
Indeed, slowly with the awareness that is rising, we will hopefully make misdiagnosis less prevalent.
i think iโm going through this right now. iโm young , 14 years old . the other night with one of my friends after i had a ego death we started talking. i confessed everything. i told her how i felt about everything in my life and she did the same thing . we cried and started to talk about what life meant. we talked about what we thought our purpose was and came to a conclusion. i felt depressed, sad, and scared because i feel like iโve just figured out the meaning of life and have been through so much at such a young age. people my age i donโt think have had any type of โspiritual awakening โ and iโm scared that now itโs just going to be different for me growing up. after these past months i no longer have any desire to go out and party and do drugs and continue living a meaningless sad life . i want to live my life now knowing the meaning of it (which we concluded was love ) but when i try to even discuss this with my best friend of 5 years she doesnโt understand because she hasnโt gone through it yet. i feel like this put me and most of my best friends into 2 completely different points in our life and iโm not sure how iโm going to live with it.
Axtuall the same thing happened to me at 14 exactly. I confessed everything to my dad randomly. He didnt care.hes abusive. But one night i just snapped,changed, i felt guilty for every bad thing i ever did and just changed my ways. I was awakened to my bad habits and a light was shined upon them and i wanted to change. But im 20 now and also going thru somthing different. This dark night of the soul is different because you actually get tossed into the higher planes and then down to hell again. What u had was a spiritual awakening . Because ive been thru what u been thru. And i am going thru the dark night. Dark night is different, youre in the astral basically. Youre spiritual eyes are open, ur jot just awakening on the physical plane. And the thing u and i went thru at 14, we recover from a day later after a good cry like u said. That is spiritual awakening. U are awakened at a young age, dont worry the planet is waking up! But that wasnt a dark night. Listem kid, ur gonna lose friends. Fuck them if they aint awakened just Leave. Youre gonna feel so much pain being fri3nds with people who dont see the beuaty and truth of the beyond , u know? Now thay we have a wider view of reality we need to talk to like minded people, i stayed with my close minded friends in high school too long and it nearly killed me because it was like talking to a brick wall. Years later,youll be thankful u awakened. Beauty is pain.knowledge is pain. Top of the pyramid is lonely. But would u rather have stayed the same? Ignorance is bliss(for the ignorant) . The fact we awakend means we probably chose this at a higher level.i could go on and on.but ill just say ,,u did not experience the dark night. You experienced an awakening. Both profound. Both will shake you up. But dark night…youd be tossed into the higher dimensions like this article said then dropped to hell. Thats all.
Youll be fine btw.
I believe that I have been going through a dark night of the soul since this year started, before the new year began I had some issues but nothing like this. Almost immediately after New year’s Eve I began to have this gut feeling that something wasn’t right, like something bad was coming, and not just bad for me but for everyone in the world. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut because I can’t ever recall it being wrong, in fact that gut feeling has saved my ass on more than one occasfroThat feeling still hasn’t gone away, it’s not as strong as it was at first but still there, for the first few months of this year it was just that feeling. Since the end of March I have been feeling like my whole existance is pointless, I keep praying to God to help me to understand why I’m here, and I feel like he doesn’t even hear me . Sometimes I don’t even want to leave my house to do anything because what’s the point? Anything I do or say makes no difference so it’s pointless to even try, in my mind I know that’s not the case, but my heart won’t listen to my brain. I need to find my way out of this somehow, I experienced a dark night of the soul some years ago and I came out of it a better person than I was before, it wasn’t easy but I did it . This seems somehow different and I’m trying to figure out what’s different this time and I just can’t put my finger on it, if anyone has experienced anything like this, or has any ideas about what might be happening to me I would appreciate any feedback I can get. I know that I can get through this, I will not let despair keep me from trying.
I think I can mostly relate. Iโve been feeling so low and worthless. A lot of shadowy, old ideas have been reappearing. My efforts feel useless and Iโve been feeling so alone. As much as I crave someone to help me, it feels as though no one can remove me from this darkness but me. I guess thatโs what feels different from normal sadness. It feels as though no one else can help me through this, and the battle is so intensely internal I donโt want to be around anyone. I feel really raw most of the time.
I cannot be sure if I am going through a Dark Night, but I do feel a kind of despair and aloneness right now – a deep kind of grief and the desire to go back to former happier times of my life (I am 43). I have travelled with this darkness now for 15 years, and feel totally lost and directionless. However, I do have times when I desire to be alone with God or The Universe, and I am eating and drinking healthier stuff, as well as no longer needing television, news reports or being surrounded by people. I long to find my lifeโs work before I die, and to find a place where I belong and can call home on this earth.
For me, dark night can be answered by elemental fire.
For as air moves (us), fire transforms, water molds, earth heals,
Then spirit (ether) awakens.
I give thanks to Great Spirit for leading me to Loner Wolf with eyes and words of wisdom that only wolves can have in the dark of our night. More of us need to walk with one foot in this world and one in the spirit world as Shaman Wolves. It can help us have both feet back in Heaven and not have to come back here again.
Having experience of Divinity is what all faiths and religions are supposed to be about but hinder as prophets have warned and Jung emphasized. The great mythologist Joseph Campbell reminded us of this in his epic The Hero With A Thousand Faces.(cf Matthew 23:13)
Frederick Nietzsche was a great man. But abandoning all faith and spending too much time with Zarathustra to the neglect of his responsibilities was his demise. It was made worse for taking Zarathustra’s brilliance for his own. Even Yahweh and the whole of the Pantheon warned about taking any wisdom or accomplishment and putting ourselves on a pedestal as if we are a god or goddess. A certain homage, offering and reverence is in order to check our ego. It’s why the ancient Greeks built their temples. Jung saw curtained corners for prayer and worship in the poorest of slums in Calcutta.
Jung showed how the Kingdom of Heaven is within. Dreams are a portal to having experience of the elements or spirits of our being, the whole of Divinity. What do we think, feel or sense somatically in our bodies that can be directly related to each element of our dream? Are there any passages from any sacred scripture or stories of archetypal proportions that are similar, even fairy tales? This may be our mythic drama. Can we paint, dance, sing or sculpt our dreams as primitives have forever done? Or have we lost The Cave of Forgotten Dreams?
Our dreams can help the Spirits to live and us if we don’t over-analyze, keeping us from harming others or being harmed by them, as well as suffering them as the great prophets and shamans have been made to.
Who can love and worship any God or Goddess who doesn’t help us or suffer it themselves by walking among us? We only need to ask their help. Even just saying their name with prayerful reverence like a mantra as Joseph Campbell also reminded us. What words can we say to anyone, even ourselves other than what the prophets have said? Who doesn’t feel better after Prayer and Meditation?
Indeed, “Yoga teaches yoga.”
The Golden Rule has always been The Golden Path to the Deities and Heaven, treating others as we’d want to be, amending when we fail and understanding why. It’s how we can know a certain Grace to evolve. It is about love or at least not hating anyone, only what we may all do. We all have to watch for the evil in us which Jung especially confirmed.
Micaiah saw some 2,700 years ago how Yahweh will send deceptive spirits to our ruin for harming others. If King Ahab had asked Yahweh’s help instead of seeking his approval to wage war to take land he believed belonged to him, dogs might not have licked his blood. The spirit that moves us will claim us for harm we cause anyone. (1 Kings 22).
The prophecies of The Ghost Dancers are coming true wherever any land was taken from the rightful owners and original inhabitants that Great Spirit placed there. All of us who are not of aboriginal descent should be paying rent or calling for reparation. It can keep us from being made to suffer because of our forebears.
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama is nearing the end of his life. Darkness will follow Light if we forget what he did after being driven from his land with a price on his head and his people under occupation. We can’t hate anyone. Martial artists like Morihei Ueshiba reminded us we’ve lost the battle when we hate others, even in self-defense. “Heaven is right where you are standing.” We can only speak our peace to know as much peace as possible in us. Any violence, verbal or physical should be in strict self-defense.
Can we take time with all we feel and experience in meditation as Jung did in seeing if there is an image or voice? It is the key to our individuation or realization of Divinity, especially God or Goddess or Both, even the whole of the Pantheon as it can be who help us to live in this world of darkness and madness.
The great Jungian analyst John Weir Perry saw there are Roots of Renewal in Myth and Madness. Jung’s greatest accomplishment was facing the psychotic elements in himself to help his patients and us with ours. The so-called persecution complex. Buddha saw this long ago when assailed to no end under the Bodhi Tree by monsters and dragons and armies of men flinging razor sharp discs at him. He put his hand on the ground asserting his right to be. And ours.
Such inner hatred can cause us to hate ourselves and others. Buddha simply said, “Our enemy can be our greatest teacher.” Perhaps if we can love ourselves as the Judaic prophet Jesus, turned Christian Savior said, we might then love others, or at least not hate them?
Jung once simply said to know how much good and evil we’re capable of. The Serpent on the Tree said as much. It’s how there can be a Mysterium Coniunctionis or union of any opposites in us. The Star of David is a powerful symbol of Yahweh in union with The Above and Below. But who cares to know their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or Ms. Hyde? Very few, indeed. It’s not rocket science that we have a good side and dark side. Who can be wise as serpents? How was Jesus so wise? Theologians wonder if Jesus was the Serpent on the Tree. Eve was very brave.
Jesus loved St. Mary Magdalene most of all for her gnosis or knowledge of the spirits in us. The Gospel of Mary is very revealing in knowing what can come out of us to free our Souls from Ignorance or unconsciousness. The Gnostic Christ said it best, emphasizing what Micaiah had said: “If you know the spirit that moves you, you are blessed. If not, you are cursed.” We all need to have such knowledge or gnosis or consciousness of the spirits in us.
Lao Tzu saw this some 2,500 years ago when he said, “If you see something you like in someone, strive for that quality. If you see something you dislike, look within. In meditation, go deep. No fight. No blame. Don’t take things to the hilt.” In other words, we need to back off to see what is going on for us as Jung did, especially if there is an image or voice.
More importantly, Lao Tzu also said, “Know the ways of man but keep to a woman’s care. . . ” It’s evident, the masculine and feminine principles are in us that we need to realize to be in Tao or balanced. Then there might not be so much domestic violence.
Jung showed from our dreams how we tend to project onto others the worst in us. This can be seen in dreams of those we dislike and need to see where we may be acting like them or could. It can help remove the proverbial beam in our eyes. It’s easy to see evil or darkness in others but not in ourselves. If we could, we’re less likely to succumb and start throwing stones or harm anyone.
Dreams of dark, shadowy figures are warning dreams we’re about to be possessed, mainly because we have been remiss in knowing how much evil we’re capable of.
Jung felt he had failed when it is our failure or refusal to know what spirit moves us.
Blaming the Devil as most religions do makes it worse. The Lord’s Prayer indicates that it’s God who put us to the test. It does seem that we might know what can come out of us. He will grant Satan his wish if we fail to. How was Jesus delivered?
The lesson of St. Peter’s Denial has yet to be learned by the Church and Christian religions. Why didn’t Peter ask the Lord’s help? Why don’t we? Jesus clearly warned against living by the sword or any violence, especially harming children and covering things up. Can we save ourselves? Pride is most deadliest, the yeast of Pharisees and our hypocrisy. Jung had to remind more than a few to shrink our ego. Divinity will wallop us upside the head.
Mateo Sol is blessed for reminding us we’re not alone. We only need pray and meditate.
I feel so thankful, just knowing I’m not crazy and alone. Also to be able to learn and understand what I’ve been feeling for so long is a big blessing.
Definately going through this Absolutely spot on every step. WOW
Hello,
My problem sounds a little superficial in comparison to all the other comments I have read but the thing is my best friend, the one who the rest my comment is about, was closer to me than any one other person, friends or family.
Long story short two years ago I lost my best friend, in a way, that is I still see her almost every other day but I can no longer call her ‘best friend’. Through the period of ‘losing’ her I was wondering for the longest time what changed and why I was no longer good enough. I can’t really put into words exactly how I felt, the best I can say is lost, unappreciated and expandable. What followed is a year during which I simply did the required minimum of me, in university and at home, and the rest of the time I escaped reality in any way I could find. Looking back on this time now on the one hand I feel like I have overcome it because it no longer makes me feel this bad but on the other hand I feel like I lost myself. I am no longer the same person that is for sure, but I am not exactly sure who I am. There are things that I like doing but they don’t bring me the same amount of joy or satisfaction i kind of keep up with them out of habit, they have become a part of my life and it seems wired and even impossible to not have them present.
Last year I reached the point where I realized that I had to change or find myself or that really something, anything had to change. The problem however was and still is I have no idea what. I am pretty shy and if put in a social situation where I don’t already know the people I am pretty awkward. So I have been trying to change myself mostly, because I blame my inability to change this characteristic of mine for the failure I feel myself to be right now. I have been trying to put myself in as many situations that make me feel uncomfortable as possible in order to get used to or erase the anxiety I get from my above mentioned trait. However, this is not working and the only thing I have achieved is to feel even worse about myself.
Right now I feel like everyone is expecting something of me because I am 22 and i am in that time of my life when I am supposed to decide what my path will be. Every person around me has their own idea about what the right way to live a life and make a career is by not doing any of those stuff I disappoint everyone. Non of those ideas, however, is not working for me, or I am too will-less to make anything happen. The only thing that manages to make me feel good sometimes is the fact that I don’t know exactly where I am headed, but the rest of the times it makes me feel even worse I haven’t managed to do even that – decide what to do with my life or at least a general direction.
Thank you for reading and sorry if it was hard to follow my though I sort of just laid it out there :)
Thanks Lucy for sharing your struggle. It’s a common experience many people going through a spiritual awakening find, the world around them loses it’s meaning because we’ve come face to face with a crisis, something that makes us reflect on the really important things and not the material wealth, status, or ‘titles’ of education that society values. The only thing that matters is what you feel is your true calling in life, your true passion; a path with a heart/purpose. It may require some inner work (which we’ve wrriten about here), but it’s better than doing something to please other people even if it doesn’t make us happy.