The hardest thing about going through an existential crisis is that you often feel depressed and alienated.
Nothing makes sense anymore, and everything feels meaningless โ including all of your old accomplishments, desires, professional attachments, relationships, and goals.
You want to find your real purpose in life. You want to know why the f*ck weโre all here in the first place, but you donโt know where to start.
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If you can relate to these feelings, my heart goes out to you. Iโve been there before and itโs a dark place. Worst of all, it can sometimes last for years (like mine did).
As someone who has been through this, Iโm not here to bullshit you.
Iโm not promising that what I’ll share will help it all become magically better.
But I do hope you find a little bit of solace.
Table of contents
- What is an Existential Crisis? (Definition)
- 15 Signs Youโre Experiencing an Existential Crisis
- WHY Youโre Going Through an Existential Crisis
- Why More and More People Are Experiencing the Existential Crisis
- The Existential Crisis Can Be a Good Sign
- 9 Ways to Get Through the Existential Crisis ( and Actually Benefit From It )
- When the Existential Crisis Becomes Existential Despair
- This is a Time of Death and Rebirth
What is an Existential Crisis? (Definition)
Put simply, an existential crisis is a period in life where a person is at a crossroads and is questioning their entire reality.
They may wonder what the meaning of their life is and whether they have a higher purpose. They may wonder whether life itself has meaning or is just a random, chaotic product of chance.
As a result, they may suffer from tremendous anxiety, depression, isolation, and feelings of being lost. The existential crisis is often spiritual in nature and is sometimes a byproduct (or trigger of) the spiritual emergency.
If you’re a spiritual wanderer seeking some kind of path, place, and purpose in life, you’re likely experiencing or have gone already through an existential crisis.
15 Signs Youโre Experiencing an Existential Crisis
Are you going through an existential crisis? Pay attention to the following signs:
- Youโre searching for the meaning of life
- You feel a growing sense of looming existential dread when contemplating society, the state of the planet, etc.
- You feel alone and isolated
- You often find yourself feeling consumed by melancholia/existential depression
- You feel like your โold lifeโ has withered away
- You donโt know who you are anymore
- You feel like your past accomplishments are meaningless (and as a result, you feel lots of regret)
- You see through the shallowness of societyโs goals and desires
- You crave something deep and meaningful
- You realize that the Universe is far more complex than you previously thought
- You feel a sense of smallness or powerlessness in the face of everything
- Youโre acutely aware of your mortality (and feel existential anxiety as a result)
- You feel fundamentally different from others
- You feel like thereโs something innately โwrongโ or โbrokenโ about you
- You feel empty inside
- You canโt seem to find any place that feels like โhomeโ
How many of the above signs can you relate to?
When I was going through an existential crisis my entire worldview shattered. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian background and could no longer come to terms with an โall-loving Godโ who would send people to burn in hell for eternity.
I went through years of confusion, emptiness, anxiety, and depression wondering what the purpose of all this was. It was an extremely difficult, traumatizing, and heart-breaking time. (And yes, thankfully I have pulled through it, hence why Iโm writing this article and for this website.)
But my story is only one of millions, and there are many reasons why you may be going through a crisis. Weโll explore below …
WHY Youโre Going Through an Existential Crisis
Why did all of this happen to you? Why are you experiencing an existential crisis?
There are a number of reasons. Here are the most common that you may have experienced:
- Sudden death of a loved one
- Job change or loss
- Chronic illness or a shock diagnosis
- Moving to a new place or country
- Chronic stress and anxiety
- Getting married/divorced
- Relationship breakdown
- Having a baby
- Entering a new life phase (e.g., adulthood, mid-life, old age)
- Loss of religious beliefs
- Natural disasters (flood, hurricane, fire)
- Excessive drug use
- Mystical experience
- Sudden spiritual awakening or dark night of the soul
- Prolonged isolation
Let me know in the comments which of these you think triggered your existential crisis.
As you can see, the existential crisis is caused by literally any big life event or change โ whether positive or negative.
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Anything sudden can be destabilizing to your mind. Think of it like an earthquake that sets off a domino effect within your psyche. Before you know it, you have cut off all your friends, quit your job, and have completely withdrawn from society because it all feels too much.
Again, I want to emphasize the fact that this wonโt last forever.
It might feel like it and you might believe, in your present frame of mind, that youโre the only person out there who is going through this. But youโre not.
There are people who understand what youโre going through (like myself and the community of readers on this blog). So please take solace in that and keep reading to get support.
Why More and More People Are Experiencing the Existential Crisis
Yes, you heard it right: the existential crisis is increasing in prevalence.
Itโs becoming a global phenomenon.
With record numbers of people experiencing major depression and other symptoms associated with the existential crisis, the question is WHY?
With all our technology, wealth, and material abundance, why are we feeling more and more empty inside?
There are many possible answers, but I believe that the main cause is emotional, philosophical, and spiritual in nature.
We live in a world that worships the reductionistic mechanistic scientific view of life. Anything mysterious, magical, or remotely spiritual in nature is scorned and looked down upon. We pretend weโre โabove all that childish nonsenseโ when, in reality, itโs what we need the most.
As clinical psychologist and scholar C. Michael Smith writes,
The world seen only through the lenses of scientific-calculative thinking is a thin, dry, hollow, surface world, devoid of mystery, depth, and meaning. There is an existential nausea (Sartre) that comes with such a nihilistic view of reality. Such a view is itself a symptom of deep spiritual, social, and ecological pathology. Some face this nihilism with stoic courage, others retreat into fundamentalistic and traditional forms of security, where they may have some limited contact with the sacred, while still being touched by the nihilism of the modern scientific worldview. Some seek a genuine sense of the sacred to give their lives meaning and direction, but cannot find it in the institutional religions of the west. Some turn to the numinous resources of the East, some to occult interests; some are now turning to shamanism, others the psychedelics, to rekindle a sense of mystery and meaning characteristic of the sacred.
As a society, we deal with our existential emptiness in many ways, but the unifying sobering reality is that we are spiritually destitute.
Weโve lost touch with our spiritual nature and are suffering horribly as a result โ this is known as collective Soul Loss.
Iโll explore how to get back in touch with your spiritual nature (and what worked for me) a little later.
But first, letโs explore why this is not all so doom and gloom โฆ
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The Existential Crisis Can Be a Good Sign
I know the title of this section sounds totally absurd. But the fact that youโre experiencing existential anxiety signifies that youโre not a mindless sheep of society.
You are alive goddammit, and more than that, youโre in touch with your spiritual nature.
As spiritual philosopher Krishnamurti once wrote:
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
The fact that youโre maladjusted, the fact that youโre questioning everything and feel a sense of despair means that youโre getting more in touch with your own truth โ not the version of truth that society likes to spoonfeed us.
As author Tim Farrington writes,
Doubt as to whether you are in a dark night or โjust depressedโ is probably a very good sign; it means youโre alive and paying attention and that life has you baffled, which is the precondition for truth in my experience.
Perhaps more than anyone, the Holocaust survivor and psychotherapist Viktor Frankl was acquainted with the depths of existential crisis. He writes in his wonderful book The Doctor of the Soul:
The โsymptomโ of conscientious anxiety in the melancholiac is not the product of melancholia as a physical illness but represents an โaccomplishmentโ of the human being as a spiritual person.
In other words, feeling existential anxiety is not just the result of depression (or melancholy), itโs actually an accomplishment that signifies weโre in touch with our spiritual nature.
Mirabai Starr, author of numerous spiritual books writes, โSomeone who is broken โฆ who has struggled all his or her life with some intense deficiency, may have a uniquely powerful relationship with God.โ
And itโs true.
The more you suffer existentially, the closer you are likely to draw to the Divine.
I realize you may be an atheist or simply not interested in spirituality, but perhaps itโs time to reconsider your relationship with the mysterious, at the very least. Weโll look more into this below.
9 Ways to Get Through the Existential Crisis (and Actually Benefit From It)
Again, I know โbenefitingโ from your existential crisis may sound ridiculous.
But hear me out.
The existential crisis is an opportunity for you to find your life purpose, figure out what truly matters in life, and connect with your spiritual nature.
What youโre going through may be horribly painful at times, but it also has a deeper meaning: youโre experiencing a death and rebirth.
Youโre undergoing a mental, emotional, and spiritual renewal process which is common to stage 1 of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.
Everything in life works in cycles. Think of life like the four seasons. What youโre experiencing right now is the winter stage of existence. But after that comes spring.
Here are some paths and practices you may like to explore. Many of these I have used myself during my existential crisis period โ and they helped tremendously:
1. Record (journal) all your thoughts every day
This one was a BIG help for me โ and I believe it can be for you too.
Writing down all your thoughts and feelings is a brilliant way of getting them out of your mind. The more you let your thoughts accumulate, the more overwhelmed you feel. So let them all out.
Journaling is extremely therapeutic and is constantly recommended by professionals and depressed folks alike. In my How to Journal article, I offer you some unique tips, just in case you need extra support.
Hereโs an example of an “existential crisis-styled” journal entry:
Iโm feeling horrible today. I watch and listen to people talk about their lives, but it all seems futile. I canโt relate to any of them. Not even a bit. All their plans, goals, and shallow desires โ canโt they see that itโs all going to perish one day? Their banality suffocates me and I feel like Iโm walking in the land of the dead. Everyone is asleep. Why canโt they just wake the fuck up? Maybe Iโll feel better tomorrow, but for now, I just wanted to get these feelings out. I know this is good for me to do and that these feelings won’t last forever.
As you can see, your journal entry doesnโt need to be long. It can be a tiny paragraph or even a few words. It also doesn’t need to be wordy, well-written, or poetic. The point is to benefit from it by making a habit out of it.
If you need some powerful and compassionate guidance to help you work through your existential crisis, see the Dark Night of the Soul Journal I’ve created.
2. Turn your pain into art
Some of the best art (think Vincent Van Gogh, Edvard Munch, Goya, etc.) has come from those who have suffered tremendously.
You donโt need to be good at art (or an โartistโ) to benefit from artistic self-expression. The point isnโt to create something that will please others but something that helps you feel better and process what youโre going through.
If you need ideas, go on Pinterest and look up different art projects, or go to your local art gallery. Places to start include watercolor, sketching, collage, and paint pouring. You can also read our article on art therapy ideas and see if it offers you some helpful places to start.
3. Get in touch with your inner warrior
Thereโs a reason why weโve named this website โlonerwolf.โ The wolf is symbolic of the inner spiritual warrior, the inner force of nature who refuses to give up.
S/he is the fire within you that voyages courageously into the unknown, fights for freedom, and respects your true self.
For over a decade, we've strived to make this website a haven of free, valuable information. Imagine a world where this knowledge wasn't readily available. If this post sparked a meaningful insight or helped you in any way, please consider a donation as a heartfelt "thank you" for keeping this resource free. Every contribution, big or small, allows us to keep giving back.
When we go through an existential crisis, it can feel like all our power and energy has been drained from us. We may struggle to get up in the morning and keep moving forward. We may feel small and defenseless in the face of life.
The way to move through these feelings is to reconnect with your inner warrior in whatever way he/she/it appears to you. I like to see this fiery essence as an inner wolf, but you may see it differently.
To connect with your inner warrior, you may like to turn to your dreams. Before going to bed, ask your unconscious mind to present you with an image of your inner warrior. Then, pay attention to your dreams. Note down anything significant when first rising in the morning. My guide on dream work can help you through this process.
You may even like to take a herb like mugwort, blue lotus, or a lucid dreaming supplement to make your dreams more vivid (please do your own research regarding dosage requirements and look into the precautions).
An alternative is to practice visualization. Imagine youโre walking down a staircase and at the bottom is a golden door. Once you open that door, youโll come face-to-face with your inner warrior. What does he/she/it look like? You might like to play some music that puts you in the right frame of mind for this activity (think warrior music which you can find for free on Youtube).
Once youโve connected with your inner warrior, you can then work with this inner image in your daily life for strength and guidance.
You may like to journal with this inner force, talk with it through visualization, or create a piece of artwork that you put somewhere noticeable and special in your home.
4. Connect with nature
If you struggle to connect with others, go out in nature. Connect with the birds, trees, and plants. Sit and watch what happens around you and find delight in the small things.
Spending time in nature was one of the major ways I got through my existential crisis. I would often spend hours sitting outside observing how the clouds moved through the sky and the way the wind danced through the trees.
If you donโt live near nature, try taking regular trips to your local wildlife reserve, forest, or park. Nature is soothing to the soul and will help you to get out of your head. If youโre interested, I wrote this short and sweet article on the art of forest bathing (shinrin yoku) a few years ago.
5. Find what brings you joy and meaning
Even the smallest things can bring you joy like a patch of sunlight on the floor or the feeling of cold water against your hands as you wash the dishes.
By practicing mindfulness exercises, you can connect more with the present moment and step out of the cycles of dark thought that accompany the existential crisis.
Finding the meaning of life itself is a more complex path, but it’s something that can also bring you a sense of purpose and direction. I’ve written more on the topic of finding the meaning of life and youโre more than welcome to go check that out.
6. Practice self-care and self-love
Take care of yourself. This is a tough time. I know itโs hard, and I know that most days you donโt have the energy for much. But treat yourself with as much love and care as you can muster.
Even opening the window for some fresh air can be seen as a small act of self-love or putting on some warmer socks.
Two forms of self-love and care that you may like to start with are affirmations and gratitude. I know you may feel skeptical toward them, but thereโs a reason why theyโve entered the mainstream: they work.
You may like to start a gratitude journal and list five things youโre thankful for each day (being grateful, by the way, has been scientifically proven to help you feel better).
Before bed each night, I have a “gratitude stone” that I hold and I think of at least five things I’ve been grateful for during the day. This simple practice has done wonders for my mindset, and it’s so quick!
You might also enjoy finding or creating one or two affirmations that you carry with you and repeat throughout the day. Examples may include, โI have a resilient heart, and Iโll get through this,โ โItโs okay to not know all the answers,โ โI surrender to the cycles of life,โ and โThis too shall pass.โ My morning affirmations article can give you more ideas to work with.
7. Simplify and minimize sources of stress
Youโre going through enough inner stress as it is, so donโt be afraid to let go of people or responsibilities that cause you more harm than good.
One way of minimizing your stress is by creating a calm and clear mind. I love the philosophy of minimalism and essentialism for shaping a more intentional life, so look into those concepts more if you want to minimize sources of stress.
Also, try guided meditations that soothe your mind and body each morning and evening. I enjoy the free app โInsightTimerโ for all its variety and I use it on my phone each day. There are also many other meditation apps out there like Calm, Headspace, and Waking Up that you can look into.
8. Connect with others in a way that feels comfortable to you
See if there are any depression support groups around you. Not everyone experiencing depression is going through an existential crisis, but some are. And you can find a sense of kinship there.
Otherwise, there are many groups online (such as Facebook groups) that you can join for support. Alternatively, simply browse around this website and see that youโre not alone in your existential difficulties.
You may also wish to call a mental health hotline if you desperately need to talk with someone or go to a website like 7cups that offers free support (it can be a “hit or miss” experience, but worth exploring).
9. Explore a spiritual path or practice that you resonate with
As psychologist Christa Mackinnon writes:
Studies find correlations between spiritual well-being and positive psychological responses when people are confronted with existential crisis situations. A recent study of 60 lung cancer patients in America, for instance, found that aspects of spirituality, namely meaning in life and prayer, have positive effects on psychological and physical responses, and an in-depth study of 160 terminally ill patients in palliative care came to the conclusion that spiritual well-being provides a sense of peace and offers some protection against end-of-life despair in those for whom death is imminent.
You donโt need to buy into anyoneโs bullshit โ find what type of spirituality works for you.
That might be simply praying or lighting a candle, or it could mean learning how to be a spiritual healer and finding a greater sense of purpose.
I personally enjoy the path of inner work, and I incorporate many eclectic practices into my spiritual path like working with the archetypes, reflecting on oracle and tarot cards, connecting with spirit guides, practicing meditation and mindfulness, connecting with nature โฆ the list goes on.
Find a path that works for you and let it give you hope.
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When the Existential Crisis Becomes Existential Despair
If youโre experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming others, your existential crisis has become existential despair. You need to seek help immediately.
I am not qualified to help (and I can only give general advice), so I strongly encourage you to seek out a psychologist, therapist, or counselor who can provide you with ongoing 1:1 help.
I know this may feel scary and you might feel ridiculous, but itโs worth getting help. Please do it. Yes, you might be given medication, but thatโs a stepping stone toward greater holistic health and healing in the future.
For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
This is a Time of Death and Rebirth
The existential crisis is a time of death โ the death of old beliefs, old ways of being, and old values.
But after death comes rebirth. Just look at the cycles of nature. What youโre experiencing isnโt going to last forever. After the night comes day and after winter comes spring.
I hope this article has shown you how valuable this process youโre going through actually is. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not alone.
You are actually saner than most people because you are questioning the insanity of the world around you.
You are a spiritual wanderer in the process of getting in touch with your True Nature.
Tell me, are you going through an existential crisis right now? How does it feel for you? Please share below. Letโs help others not feel so alone.
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It is exsessive drug use that triggered this. Although, I’ve been depressed my whole life, something has changed in me. Nothing is good anymore. I. Tired of everything from friends to food. I don’t even eat anymore because I’m so sick of the same food. Funny how you mentioned nothing feels like home. I’m there.
My name is Anne. I am 16 years old and I am from Colorado USA. Scorpio sun, virgo moon, aquarius rising. When I was 13 years old I experienced some emotional trauma and I unfortunately got addicted to prescription drugs at a very young age and began to experiment with psychedelics. I had authority issues, family issues, I developed mental illness and struggled with self harm and suicidal thoughts. When I was 14, my parents sent me away to a long term rehabilitation program and I was in rehab for 13 months. I got out of rehab last November and since then I have been going through a spiritual awakening and I am beginning to discover my truth. I am an old soul and I am a lightbringer! My spiritual awakening has caused quite the existential crisis and my ego is dying. I am having yet another dark night of the soul. I feel like I’m going insane and the reality of society and everyday life is becoming almost unbearable. I am struggling in school and I am struggling with social awkwardness since my peers are just not on the same wavelength. It’s hard to see my family and friends asleep and sheep to society. I am scared for my future and I’m scared to continue learning. I feel like I already know too much and it’s hard to function everyday in such a world. I know I am going through an extremely intense death/rebirth cycle and deep down I know I will be reborn to spread love and light. I just need help. I’m still so young and I’ve seen so much. I am so grateful I found this website and Aletheia Luna, I have so much love and gratitude for you sharing your advice and experiences. I’m grateful I’m not alone. Thank you for reading my summarized story. If you see this, I’d like to ask for help from you personally.
Much love,
Anne.
Old souls can still learn much. By observation and non judgement. Protect your own energies and read not or concern yourself too much with how others live. Everyone’s choices are half chance. Desiderata is good poem/verse to read. Go slow into the night.
This is the right weblog for anyone who desires to find out about this topic. You notice a lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I truly would wantโฆHaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just nice!
Aletheia, I can’t thank you enough for sharing with so many people your experience. I am definitely there and now finding myself in an existential crisis I believe. I almost feel as if I am being attacked almost daily, is that possible? I have severed ties with a dysfunctional family and am quite alone. I do have a relationship with God and am in prayer often. I believe this has helped me stay joyful and hopeful for a period but I am now finding myself losing faith and ground. I do have a relationship with God and He’s aware and stills loves me unconditionally. I can so relate to your story, many struggles and feelings of despair, WOW.
Again, thank you from my heart.
I went through this when I had a surgery. I was very happy and defined myself as successful. I went in for a surgery and when I got to the OR, I knew that I would never be the same again if I went under. I attempted to cancel the surgery only to wake up with the world gone dark. I literally screamed at the nurses to kill me. I did not want to see the world wasn’t set up for my success or the state of society for what is was. Everything fell apart around me and I would physically fall to my knees because the despair was too consuming. That had been the worst year of my life until 2020.
I feel estranged from myself,I have so many things to say and share,but I have nobody who could understand me,I feel like I am going trough a transformation from human to vampire or something else
I feel depressed most of time at least I was,I tried to ease depression with medication,it helped a bit but old friend emptiness haunts me daily
I shove my nose into work,I try to occupy myself with anything that would ease the invisible pain of emptiness
I stay up to late,I smoke a lot I simply put feel lost,small I see the world as a ruin
My thoughts are dark,chaotic I shift trough sites like thia,seeking answers anything at all
I kill my thoughts with loud music,
Whenever I’m free to think I feel as I’m about to melt,I cannot collect my thoughts
I don’t go out,I do not socialise nor have I before pandemic and lockdowns
I ruin my life and people around seem to notice it,yet I feel weak powerless
I feel whenever I’m into times as these are now,my inner wolf howls and howls
I feel as a warrior in the face of battle but my sword works against me
I don’t feel emotions,I never cry nor I can
And even if my emotions appear they appear as primal emotions such as rage and anger constantly cycling between anger and despair
Things that used to make me feel happy are just a smoke blown by wind
I dontk know is it soul awakening,dark night of a soul or existential crisis
But it feels like hell but it doesn’t burn
It hurt somewhere in my soul but I cannot say where
I see through world mask and people’s social masks,and their fake play of happiness and fulfilled life
I see things others don’t ,I don’t see myself as a part of crowd
But intelligence comes with a price
I cannot say what’s worse
Being stupid and enjoying life at least a bit
Or
Be intelligent enought to see the lie we all live and live as a wild animal
Lone Wolf
Michael…
Hi Michael,
I could relate to a lot of what you said and sounds like where I am. I am attempting to look into myself and ask why, how, hoping to find answers within myself. It’s very despairing. Best.
During one of my “soul walks” the other day, looking at leaves that have fallen off the trees and the beautiful fall colors made me ponder and think that is me now. My old leaves (past hurts, all things that I am working through, discarding relationships if necessary) and then the beautiful fall colors reminds me of the change, finding beauty deep inside of me, who I am, my heart and soul.
I have been lost and started using drugs and sex to feel as if I’m normal
At this time I am in and out of The Dark Night of the Soul. I am working on a set of suggestions of spiritual steps that can help people shift into a more spiritual life through mindfulness. The steps will incorporate mindfulness and steps to balance the inner world with the outer world through becoming aware and observing of their thought and emotion which should or could promote a Spiritual Awakening. I would like this process to be an alternative to the 12 Step program. The goal of the 12 Steps is to cause a Spiritual Awakening. Many never have there Awakening an they wouldn’t know what it is when it happens. The suggestions will be much more spiritually grounded. Promoting and hopefully causing the observer consciousness which in turn cause an Awakening. The difference in these suggestions will be more helpful after the person has an Awakening. We know that the awakening is just the beginning. This way they will have a perspective on how to navigate through the process enough to find their own spiritual truth.
Many thanks for this article. I feel like I can always turn to you when I am going through challenging times. You always have great insight to hel p me move forward.
Luna, I have grown up in religious circles and am searching for healing. I want to be a healthy person and be in a good place in life.
Keep on sharing. We all appreciate your articles Sol and Luna!!!