You feel suffocated and weighed down by some kind of invisible force.
And you don’t really know why, but this force is relentless … No matter what you do, you carry this knotted heaviness inside everywhere you go.
Nothing feels right anymore.
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You look at your life and marvel at how it doesn’t feel like ‘yours’ at all. You desperately want to escape, you badly want to do something … but you’re terrified of destroying everything you’ve built so far.
You just can’t seem to move. You feel paralyzed.
All of us will feel trapped at some point, whether that be in a job, house, neighborhood, financial circumstance, religion, family, or relationship.
Usually, feeling trapped can be easily remedied by simply doing something new – but it’s not always that easy. When feeling trapped becomes a persistent problem, one that makes you feel hopeless, then it’s time to take a serious look at your life.
Table of contents
5 Reasons Why You’re Feeling Trapped
Feeling trapped and defeated are experiences common to people who face anxiety and depression, according to psychological research. In other words, feeling trapped can create anxiety and depression, which further reinforces the feeling of being trapped. And so the cycle continues.
But the question is, why do we feel trapped in the first place? Anxiety and depression may trigger this experience, and also be the byproduct of it, but what actually creates the anxiety and depression?
Here are some common psychological and spiritual reasons why you might be feeling trapped:
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1. You were conditioned to be passive
Passivity is often a learned behavior that we’re taught in childhood by our parents, teachers, and societies. For example, being headstrong is generally a trait that is discouraged in society because it makes you less governable, meaning that others have less influence over you.
As such, in childhood, many of us were taught to be submissive, compliant, and docile because these traits made us “good members” of a society that revolves around control and power.
As young people, how many of us felt empowered and encouraged to take a proactive approach to our life, and to be and do whatever we desired, even if that went against “the norm”?
Of course, most people pay lip service to this “empowerment” ideal (such as our teachers and even parents), but only within the confines of doing socially acceptable things like going to university, chasing after money and status, and getting married and having kids.
On one hand we’re encouraged to be “proactive” about our lives, but on the other hand, this “proactivity” is a disguised form of passivity which is all about following the crowd and doing what everyone else does.
Is it really any wonder that so many of us struggle with feeling trapped? Unless we have the wisdom to see through the futile and unfulfilling pursuits of society from a young age, we end up following the herd and letting others dictate our lives.
Passivity is, therefore, a major cause of feeling trapped and stuck in a life that seems empty. When we’re passive, we’re literally giving others the permission to make our decisions and dictate our existence on this earth. When we’re passive, we’re resigned to accepting our “lot” in life, without realizing that it is actually in our hands to create a life of our own choosing.
If you have just realized that you’ve taken a passive approach to life, don’t worry. Most people on this planet have. It’s not that you choose to be passive, it’s that you’re psychologically programmed and conditioned to be this way. But with this new knowledge, you can pull off the blindfold and start consciously being proactive and self-sovereign with your life again.
See: How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path »
2. You’ve simply outgrown your current life
Here’s the thing, people are not static beings. As human beings, we are forever changing, evolving, and transforming.
Anything that does not change, dies, as we can quite clearly see in the world around us. When species, ecosystems, and even business and trends don’t evolve, they fade away into oblivion. This natural law is evolution in process.
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And the same goes for us as people: we are changing each and every day. We might not be consciously aware of it (because we’re usually evolving in minuscule ways), but we are not the exact same person as we were this time yesterday.
Ask yourself, “Am I the exact same person as I was a year ago?” Likely, your answer will be no, you’ve changed! And this is completely fine!
Feeling trapped is therefore often a product of simply outgrowing your current life. Perhaps you don’t have much in common with your friends anymore, your career interests have changed, or you just don’t relate as deeply to your partner anymore.
This is all completely normal, yet as humans, we tend to pathologize change. We become neurotic and fearful about it because we desperately want to control life to give us a sense of comfort and security. But the truth is that change is inevitable – resistance is futile!
When you aren’t willing to upgrade or change your life, even when you’ve outgrown it long ago, you feel suffocated. Just imagine how uncomfortable it would be squeezing yourself into the clothes you wore ten or twenty years ago! Yes, you might feel comforted in some small way … but is the comfort and familiarity you feel worth the experience of dying inside?
Remember that it’s completely normal to not want to let go, so be gentle and compassionate towards yourself. It’s OK to grow and change. It is your birthright.
See: 11 Exhilarating Ways to Be True to Yourself (When Scared) »
3. You desperately want to fit in and feel “normal”
All of us want to feel like we belong. In fact, craving to “fit in” with others is deeply embedded into our DNA: it’s a biological survival mechanism.
But we’ve come a long way in our evolution, and the proof is that the more we force ourselves to be “normal,” the more we suffer. Evolution, or rather involution, is now calling us to honor our authentic needs in order to grow as a species.
Conformity is an old paradigm we no longer need to chase after. In fact, the more we conform, the more empty we feel inside. The more we try to be like others, the more we lose contact with our inner voice. The more we mold our lives to be “socially acceptable,” the more we sacrifice our inner values, dreams, beliefs, and desires.
Trying to fit in with others because we fear what they think about us, is a recipe for suffering. Understand that wanting to be accepted is completely normal, but it’s time that you start looking inside of yourself for approval, rather than outside.
See: How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path »
4. You’ve taken on too many responsibilities
Responsibilities are a normal part of life; they teach us to be mature, accountable, patient, and empathetic.
But there can come a point in our lives when we take on more responsibilities than we can handle … and we start to feel TRAPPED.
Why? Usually, we fill our lives with pointless or excessive commitments because we’re trying to escape from something, whether that is our pain, our insecurities, our past, our traumas, or some kind of buried emotion that haunts us like grief, emptiness, or anger.
If you’re feeling trapped, closely examine your life. Have you bitten off more than you can chew? Why? And furthermore, what can you do to decrease your workload?
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5. Soul loss and lack of life purpose
Probably the biggest reason why many of us undergo the excruciating feeling of being trapped is soul loss.
When we have lost contact with our souls we feel the unshakable sense that ‘something is missing’ from our lives.
This feeling is accompanied by loneliness, emotional numbness, emptiness, restlessness, irritability, and of course, anxiety and depression.
Soul loss occurs for many reasons such as a traumatic life experience or simply situations where we’ve had to consistently shape ourselves into who others want us to be (causing us to feel repressed and withered inside).
The ego is our false self, the concept of “me” that we have inside of our brains which is based on stories about the past or future.
The more we serve our ego and its desires, the more empty and unfulfilled we feel because the ego is obsessed with power, control, and self-gratification – something that is ultimately unfulfilling.
Our soul, on the other hand, is focused on love and unity: on learning how to love, behaving from a place of love, speaking with love, and ultimately, embodying love as our True Nature.
When we are in contact with our souls, we discover our unique life purpose which helps us to stop feeling trapped by our circumstances. We start to feel empowered and begin to listen to the voice of the heart rather than the voice of the mind.
Feeling trapped, therefore, is often a sign that you’re undergoing not just a loss of soul connection and therefore lack of life purpose, but you’re starting to “wake up” on a deeper level. You’re beginning the spiritual awakening process where you sense that there’s much more to life than meets the eye.
How to Stop Feeling Trapped (9 Paths)
Feeling trapped can be a self-perpetuating cycle: we begin to look for more and more proof to confirm our belief that we are victims. And that feeling of self-victimization fuels the feelings of being trapped.
Can you see how powerful the mind, and the hidden inner parts of the psyche, can be here?
For example, we might try to stop feeling trapped, but then, our inner saboteur might do something that causes us to fall back into that feeling again. As a result, we confirm the belief that we’re trapped, thus becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So be careful. Understand that feeling trapped can actually be a very addictive role because it makes us feel like a victim – and the ego loves feeling like a victim.
Ironically, feeling like a victim is actually very empowering because this role revolves around blaming, justifying, and making excuses – and all of these behaviors deflect self-responsibility.
With that in mind, let’s explore some methods which can help you to stop feeling trapped:
1. Take responsibility for your life
As I just mentioned, feeling trapped can cause us to adopt the victim role which revolves around avoiding self-responsibility. It’s normal to feel sad about your situation, but self-pity ultimately gets you nowhere.
In order to feel better, you need to take responsibility for your life, which means deciding to create change from a conscious and intentional place. Realize that happiness is what happens when you step up and claim ownership of your life.
2. Make little changes each day
Do something new each day. Approaching your life differently little by little will help you to regain faith in your own power. Even if you’re in a really tight, oppressive, and constricting situation where it feels like there’s no escape, what one little thing can you do to regain a sense of self-sovereignty each day?
For example, maybe you decide to take a new route to the shops or set the habit of researching one new way to become financially independent each day. No matter how small and seemingly inconsequential the change is, do it. Commit to it with religious fervor. If no one is coming on their white horse to save you, you need to find a way to save and free yourself.
(Please note: if you’re in a domestic abuse situation, there are always people out there to help you find freedom. Please seek out support as soon as you can, and see this list of domestic violence hotlines in various countries. Asking for help is a sign of courage and strength, not weakness.)
3. Make a bullsh*t list
Sit down and think about all the things in your life that you believe are limiting you.
For example, on your bullsh*t list you might write things like:
- going to after work parties with colleagues that I secretly dislike
- commitments with old friends who I have nothing in common with
- pretending to like what my partner likes
- “mandatory” luncheons with extended family members who are toxic
- being passed over at work for promotions and taken for granted
- being interrupted in conversations
- not dividing the household chores equally with my partner
By becoming very clear about what is making you unhappy, you’ll find it easier to escape the cage that has been built around your life by stepping up and saying “no, this isn’t acceptable.”
4. Throw away social norms
Trying to be socially acceptable wastes so much time, energy, and money. Try to keep only what is essential in your life. If you have to step on a few toes, so be it!
If you’re not pissing someone off, you probably aren’t doing anything meaningful with your life!
No matter what we do, we’ll always have naysayers. Be courageous and do what makes you happy, even if that means cutting some people off or accepting that you’ll be thought of as “weird” or “crazy.” Those that do not support you tend to hang around you like dead weight, so throw social norms to the wind, and let it go.
5. Create energy barriers
Are you over-extending yourself and getting bogged down by too many commitments? Learn how to notice your energy levels and step away when you’re getting too overwhelmed. Ask yourself questions such as:
- Where in life am I giving more than getting? Is it really worth it?
- Who or what is an energy vampire, draining my vital life force energy?
- What kind of energy barriers do I need to set up in my relationships and work life?
- How much time am I really ready to dedicate to _____ ?
Draw a line and don’t let anyone cross it, not even yourself.
6. Say “no thank you”
There is nothing wrong or impolite about saying “no thank you” or “thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t.” Yes, you may offend a few insecure people, but most people will respect your assertiveness and self-respect. You have the right to say no to doing things you’re not interested in or don’t believe in. So don’t let “yes” become a cage that entraps you.
7. Embrace fear of the unknown
One reason why we remain stuck in feeling trapped is that we’re scared of the unknown, i.e., what will our lives look like if we make a leap into drastic change? How will we deal with all of the intimidating newness in our lives?
Remember that it’s normal to fear the unknown: we are wired to be that way. The reptilian fight-or-flight and mammalian hunter-gatherer brain within us is always scanning the environment for threat – that’s just part of being human.
But we also have the prefrontal cortex or the thinking brain that needs challenge to thrive and feel alive. So take care of all three parts of your brain by going slowly (what your reptilian brain needs), comforting yourself and reaching out to others for advice (what your mammalian brain needs), and making plans and goals (what your prefrontal cortex needs). Embrace the fear of the unknown, and go ahead anyway.
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$38. Take a plant medicine
Obviously there is a disclaimer here: plant medicine is best taken with an experienced shaman or healer and you should seek professional advice if you suffer from mental illness (and abide by local laws, etc. etc.).
But going through such an experience can quite literally change your entire perspective of life.
Try to locate experienced and trustworthy practitioners who hold San Pedro, Peyote, Ayahuasca, or Psilocybin Mushrooms ceremonies either in your country or one nearby (if traveling is accessible to you). Even small quantities of marijuana which is now legalised in many countries, can be tremendously healing when done meditatively and intentionally.
Taking plant medicine is a sacred and profound experience which can help you develop new perspectives on your life, and even significantly reduce mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. I always recommend trying a very small amount first, with someone you trust.
9. Reconnect with your soul
Plant medicine is one powerful and foolproof way of reconnecting with your soul. However, if you prefer other methods, you might like to explore various soul work practices such as vision quests, journaling, spiritual meditation, mindfulness exercises, catharsis, artistic self-expression, music, and other alternative forms of medicine that can help awaken this deep presence within you.
My favorite ways of soul searching involve using art, music, and creative written expression to connect with my deeper essence and meaning of life. I recommend that you choose one practice that you feel drawn toward, and stick with it for at least two months (the time a new habit takes to form).
Here are some guides I’ve written surrounding the soul which may be of help:
- Soul Communication: 7 Crucial Signs to Look Out For
- Soul Purpose: 5 Gateways to Finding Your Destiny
- What is a Soul? (and Can it Die, Escape, or Break?)
***
I hope this article has give you some helpful advice to help liberate yourself and has supported you in understanding why you may feel trapped.
Tell me, why are you feeling trapped? When did it start, and most importantly, what are you planning to do about it?
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Hi I’m temilade from Nigeria, I’ve been feeling so useless and trapped and this has resulted to depression, I’m one of those introverted types so I barely have friends. In the absence of anybody to talk to I turned to Google and your website came up and I want to say I’m really grateful coz my eyes have been opened to certain things. Is there a way I could connect with you so I could really let loose and discuss more??
With everything going on in today’s world, the corrupt politicians, media, elite, woke, haters, and zombies. I feel absolutely lost and feel I have no future because everything is closed and lockdowned. Millions of Americans are entering poverty and nobody cares. The woke have destroyed sports. It feels like the “Brave New World” is here now in which no one has any future except serving the government. I choose to be alone because of too many things to do to try to get my life back in order, I am not really social and when I try to have a conversation with someone it is more like talking to a brick wall. It is impossible to have a real conversation with anyone today. Everything I have done in my life has been nothing but a complete and total waste of time, money and effort. I am completely boxed in with no way out. Every plan I have come up with runs into an obstacle that due to politicians is completely closed. I have no clue what to do. I am hoping someone can assist me with this.
Know that you are not alone and that alot of people feel this way. Perhaps, instead of focusing on the world around you, you could think more of what you would want the world to be like, and within reason, take steps, big or small, to effect this change.
Nothings wrong, but nothings right. It just feels like a huge part of me is missing, I’m constantly disappointing everyone, I feel trapped, I don’t even have the energy to have a proper conversation with my friends anymore. Everyone would describe my life as normal, there is not a single flaw that would cause me to feel the way I do, but yet here I am stuck with this burden that I sometimes question whether it’s just something my mind has made up or is actual real.
I feel trapped because I became a father when my 15-year older girlfriend suddenly got unexpectedly pregnant and we realized we couldn’t say no to the child. We did love each other very much at the time. We still do, but the love has changed now that there is a child involved. All of a sudden the beautiful love we had seems gone, at least for me. I love my daughter but the spark disapppeared when she arrived into the relationship and now, almost two years after, we still can’t seem to rekindle it.
I’ve started to think that I’m just not suited to be a parent. I’m 26 years old, my gf is 41 and was already a mum when I met her. She is a different place in her life. I feel like I still want to explore and go on adventures, find myself. But now I feel stuck in a family life that might be well-functioning but unfulfilling for me.
I don’t feel like leaving either because I don’t want to be the father who left ‘just because he wanted his old life and sense of freedom back’. Freedom to do what exactly? I need to try and be the father who fought to be able to manage the responsibility. Growing to the occasion.
It doesn’t get easier though. Sometimes i feel like giving up. Saying that it just was a wrong thing for us to be parents together. That it wasn’t meant to be that kind of everlasting relationship, but now it is because we have a child together.
I feel torn between doing what I feel like (escaping the responsibility) and what I think is right to do (staying and working it out for the sake of my daughter ).
There are ways to to have both your daughter in your life properly AND follow your heart. Let her be in on your journey too. If you want to learn new thing, take her too so she can learn. Involve her as part of your journey…you will both benefit. :)
I feel trapped because I’m 21, I haven’t been to a University like people my age have, I have no friends anymore because I shut a lot of people out, I’m 5’7 and weighing about 230 lbs, I still live at home with my mother, I have no money, my sister has no boundaries, I have no passion in life and I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Im scared to be my best self and do what I want.
Hi! I’m 21 too, i have no friends, live at home, grandma has no boundaries. I discovered something that helps me, so i’ll share. Look…you said you are scared to be your best self. The moment you decide to feel better and set boundaries, everything around you will go crazy. Because people are used to see you a certain way and if you change, if you start taking care of yourself and dodging their bullsh**t,their will call you selfish, crazy, unstable,etc.
But you know what will happen? You will realize that lots of “good” people get these comments too. Everyone called me selfish all my life and they walked all over me, i was shy and quiet and scared and didn’t know how to take care of myself and if i said “no” to something,they made me feel like i was the devil. I couldn’t recognize my feelings, i didn’t know i exist.
Now comes my advice: Do what you FEEL like doing, when ALONE. I had these thoughts …for example i cant sleep at night,so i want to wake up but i dont. I keep sleeping because if i wake up,then i want to do things so i turn on the light and grandma would come in my room and ask me a thousand questions like: are you sick? are you sad? what happened? you’re lying, something happened. When in reality im just not tired. This shit made me believe i was depressed and didnt know it. But heck, we know better than anyone how we feel. We must learn to keep our point of view and protect our feelings even if others throw a tantrum around us because they cant understand.
Whenever you want to do something, ask yourself why you’re not doing it. But be very careful. Pay attention. For example, i want to lose weight. Why don’t i start? First thought would be that im lazy. But im not. I discovered im quite the opposite. The problem is grandma will stuff me like im a pig. If i say im not hungry, she will start screaming and telling me i will die if i dont eat what she wants, when she wants(keep in mind im 21). I i just ate to not see her scream because it breaks my heart. I didnt exercise in my room because if she saw me she would say: omg poor girl you are tired, stop doing this to yourself. Do you want to lose weight? I love you the way you are, you dont have to do it. As if i do it for her to love me. Be very very careful to not confuse these things with true love. If they loved us, they would want to see us healthy happy and doing amazing things. But they are chaining us. Chains disguised us love.They just can’t get it,that’s all they see,they think they’re helping. I had nightmares all my childhood that grandma was chasing me and i was running as fast as i could i tried to hide and she would call the police lol. Now i start to realize i felt trapped and that’s why.
So start doing thinks you like,but in secret at first. Take care of yourself in secret. After you start gaining confidence, confront mean people nicely. They will still be able to hurt you for a while,but after you’ve achieved a certain amount of stuff on your own, you will know who you are and their comments wont hurt you so much.
Also, one more thing. When i feel very trapped,i think i want to run away. You know what? fking run away. Take a backpack and go for a long long walk and lie about it. say you’re going with a friend to study or something. When i did this i felt like i was commiting a crime against my grandma. I told myself i exaggerate and i should go back. My heart was pounding. I felt like a rat trapped in an experiment trying to escape the torturer. But after half an hour of walking, i felt a freedom and a connection to myself that i cant put to words. I felt like crying. It was then that i realized i exist,separate from other’s wants and needs. It was then i realized i never took care of my soul. And i felt a huge loneliness. I realized nobody really knows me,not even i knew myself before that. But in time, that loneliness transformed into a kind of anger that pushed me towards amazing things. Things i did on my own, that others didnt have the courage to do, and i felt like i was enough for myself.
I wish you luck. Don’t delay taking care of your feelings. Start now. Honestly,it will feel like suicide. You will see everything from a new perspective. You will realize many people dont get you. And they never did. And maybe they never will. This will hurt like hell. Push through.
I hope i helped you. I spilled my heart here lol. I wrote this with the best intentions. I hope you find the greatest freedom and strenght there is. Love you.
This message and life story is absolutely amazing. Makes you think.
Wow…thank you for so eloquently describing your journey from fear based people pleasing to a authentic existence of integrity, courage and self love. Awesome!! I have gradually learnt to be with myself and my amazing foulest, fiercest of moods. Growing up I was not allowed to express anything but happy, dumb and blind obedience…basically my parents (narcissistic personality disorder father and co-dependant mother)groomed me into what I call a negative ego or total sublimation of my needs, wants and desires in order to serve them… I just about survived my childhood and teenage years. My wrathful depression moods have shown me reality, clearly define when my boundaries are being invaded and I need to respect my needs as a highly sensitive and creative person. One of the great lessons is that they enable me to deeply acknowledge and explore the fact that one is in fact, utterly alone in the world. And (although I would not choose suicide as a way out as it would cause those I love suffering) death is nothing to fear, when it is my time to go, having loved each moment to the fullest, I shall fully embrace the wonderful release.
That’s a tough situation you’re in, Tej! Maybe your decision doesn’t have to be all or nothing? It sounds like you still live with your parents? If you are working, you should be able to afford to move out. Maybe you’d have to share a place with others, but it would be the first step of becoming independent from your parents. It would be a time for you to establish boundaries with them and allow you to build a life of your own making. I would recommend that you research the stories by other women from your cultural background who have been through the same thing. Make contact with other people who have managed to marry without their parents’ permission. Keep seeing your boyfriend and make plans of how you could make your relationship work. You especially need strategies to deal with the guilt your parents are trying to impose on you. Step by step you can build the kind of life you want, learning how to manage the expectations of your parents. Good Luck!!
the only reason i am trapped is because i have epilepsy and multiple sclerosis at age 27. which there is no cure. it doesnt matter if i view myself as a ” victim or not” whatever i think or do does not change the fact these diseases are uncurable and destroy my brain and body. i cannot live my so purpose or express my creative truth because i am confined to my bed with a deteroating body. let me guess though im not a victim this was just all me manifesting this ! lmao
This is the test you must endure within your physical shell. Your soul is not fettered by illness. You sound smart and witty. Write your story for others to read. Connect online with other souls in a disadvantaged physical shell. Join an advocacy group for physically disabled people who have no voice. Who can express needs on their behalf better than you? Your soul is living other lives at the same time as your current human manifestation. This is one short journey and test….let your soul rise above and shine with beauty and strength as a light for others to follow. This is you.
Hi i am on my master thesis and i can’t go further in my studies. i can’t seem to experience any progress in my thesis and that is pissed me off. i must implement a research paper but i can’t. i don’t know what should i do. can you help me. the subject is about deep learning. please response me in email.
I’m an 18 year old male. I weigh 130 pounds and am pale. I spent the past 7 years of my life groveling in my own misery after my parents divorce, it was similar to spending eons in a void. I’ve just now graduated highschool and am working full time at Walmart, and I feel like I’m trapped with no free time to heal whatsoever, so now I’m back to groveling, only I’m making money too . I have no idea what to do any more besides kill myself, but the points made in this article helped me to further understand everything I’m missing, that’s broken inside of me. Nobody, not even my parents, could do that. Thank you.
Hi Steve I hope things have changed for you since the time you wrote this comment. I’m sad to hear you want to end your life. “The enemy of our souls prowls around Like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour”. Peter 5:8 Please remember that we are in a spiritual battle against powers and principalities we can not see in the natural realm. I’m sorry to hear that your parents’ divorce has been so hard on you. Please seek some biblical advice and counseling. God loves you and although He didn’t promise us a perfect life, He does promise to be with us through it all and to bless those who obey His commandments. There are blessings I store for you. Ask the Lord for wisdom and He will grant it. “Ask and you shall receive”. Also when you are feeling down pray out loud and rebuke that spirit of depression in the name of Yeshua. God bless you!
Good article! I, unfortunately, am trapped by my personal code of ethics. I can’t leave an area I hate because to do so would split up my daughter and her father. I’m stuck here, in a place with no family or friends other than my kids and this man who broke my heart a thousand times (not an exaggeration), lied, cheated, etc, all because he loves her, she loves him, and he’s not abusive, just tragically immature. I can’t do that to them, so hear I am, feeling like I am suffocating.
How did this all work out for you Shelly?
I am in a very similar situation and feel like im going a tad crazy..
I am in a very similar situation as well. Husband and two small children. He moved us to his hometown where he has all his family and friends. I am miserable here. We live an hour away from the nearest city where I can take my children to do things. We get along for the sake of the children and he’s a good father. I feel trapped in this life.
Why must you lovely, caring mothers be the ones to fall on the sword? Do you want your darling children to see their mother suffering and sad for the majority of their developmental, impressionable lives? If he won’t compromise, and you won’t approach compromise, then you’re stuck. And you can complain as much as you want, but nothing will change and you are setting a bad example for the babes. Set your ultimate boundaries. You have to know where you will go, how you will live, and for what reason this is good for you and your children. Because if it isn’t good, it won’t be the right decision. Make a list of what you want. Anything you want, fantasy or reality. Then make a list for each one of your wants of pros and cons. Soon you will see a realistic pattern emerge of actual action items you can work on to make life better for you and your children. Always be in teaching mode for your babes, and you will learn from yourself what moves you, literally, and makes you happy.
I was in a similar situation but decided that i would rather my daughter see the example that if something is making you miserable, you are always in control to change it. Yeah, the reality of dad being crappu sucked, but I do feel better knowing my daughter will know she is in charge or her life like her momma.
You’ve obviously never had these problems before or you’d know that one can’t just decide to make a change. One doesn’t just jump off that cliff into what could be a better life, or oblivion. It’s physically impossible. I may have never lived, but after 40 years of trying to live its time to hang it up and let this unlife run its course.