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ยป Home ยป Starting The Journey

10 Soulmate Love Myths Everyone Needs to Read

by Aletheia Luna ยท Updated: Nov 16, 2023 ยท 26 Comments

Soulmate Love Myths

When we were young we listened to jovial stories about princes and princesses falling in love and getting married. We were taught that we only have one true love out there and that this person (who is always the opposite gender) completes us.

As we grow older many of us seek to fulfill this romantic ideal. Some of us spend years pining and searching for the โ€œperfectโ€ lover who can tick all the boxes and match all of our criteria. In fact, some of us even carry around a mental idea of what our soulmates will look like, sound like, and behave like.

Being a romantic soul myself, I always thought that my soulmate would be a tall,ย mysterious, rebellious, Australian bloke. Perhaps I was simply projecting my own disowned anima (my divine masculine energy) outwards? Instead, I fell in love with a logical, brawny, emotionally balanced man of Peruvian descent โ€“ a perfect fit for me!


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But Iโ€™m not the only one who has experienced this. So many of us think we know what we want in a person, when in fact we donโ€™t. And sometimes, when someone not quite matching our description comes along, we shut ourselves off, missing the opportunity.

To those of us who have experienced severe emotional and mental wounding in our lives, soulmates appear as a kind of holy mecca or โ€œpromised land.โ€ When we feel incomplete, lonely and disconnected from ourselves, the ideal of soulmate love becomes a beacon of hope promising to save us. Soon we start sincerely believing that our beloved will โ€œcomplete us,โ€ and thus make our lives meaningful again.

10 Soulmate Love Myths

Soulmate Love Signs

Deep down many of us believe that there is at least one person out there who will fulfill all of our needs and desires. In fact, such a warped belief is what causes such high divorce rates and relationship dysfunction running rife in our societies.

There are so many harmful myths about soulmates that circulate through our cultural dialogues. These myths end up as rigid stories and ideals within our minds. In fact, these ideals and beliefs are actually responsible for limiting our spiritual growth and capacity to mature as divine beings. Believing that anything outside of yourself will complete or make you whole is not only misguided, but highly dangerous to your well-being.

So with this in mind, letโ€™s explore 10 of the most common soulmate love myths out there:

Myth 1. You can โ€œfindโ€ your soulmate

First of all, itโ€™s important to drop the illusion of control. Hereโ€™s a wake-up call: you have no power over when, where or how your soulmate will appear. All you can realistically do is be open and receptive to meeting your soulmate. The human ego tends to believe that it can control life. But life canโ€™t be controlled. Life is just as wise, wild and mysterious as it is frustrating! Our soulmates often appear โ€œout of the blueโ€ when we least expect them to. Butย it’s also quiteย common to intuit, sense or dream about your soulmate before they suddenly appear in your life.

Myth 2. What you want in your soulmate is what youโ€™ll get

We tend to approach relationships with preconceived notions of what we want or need. So many articles out there that Iโ€™ve read recommend โ€œvisualizing your soulmateโ€ so as to โ€œattract themโ€ into your life. However, this is another trick of the ego. The law of attraction doesnโ€™t quite work that way. It is your thoughts and beliefs that reflect your reality. Your soulmate often isnโ€™t someone you consciously desire, but someone you unconsciously attract and need for inner growth.


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Myth 3. Soulmates will stay with you no matter what

This is another highly harmful myth that creates a lot of unnecessary pain. As a species we find great comfort in the thought of โ€œalways and foreverโ€ (hence why marriage is so appealing to us). But this isnโ€™t always the case. Sometimes our soulmates stay for a season, and sometimes they stay for a lifetime.

Myth 4. We only have ONE soulmate

This point is a matter of personal opinion. However, I believe it is possible to have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. Talking to many people about their thoughts and experiences on love, Iโ€™ve discovered that a great number have had โ€œmultipleโ€ soulmate experiences. Each was different, precious, and life-changing in varied ways.

Myth 5. Soulmates are always romantic/sexual

On the contrary, soulmate relationships can be completely platonic with no sexual or romantic feelings involved. In other words, your soulmate could simply be your best friend in the world.

Myth 6. Soulmates are human

We think of soulmates in terms of humans loving other humans. But many people have felt intense and strong bonds with animals and pets that transcend human language.

Myth 7. Soulmates are the opposite gender

Religion and tradition would have us believe that soulmates are heterosexual in nature. In reality, love is free: it is not restricted by what is thought of as โ€œrightโ€ or โ€œwrong.โ€ Your soulmate could very well be of the same gender as you. If you identify as heterosexual this will obviously come as a great shock to you. However, it will ultimately encourage you to reclaim your authentic sexuality.

Myth 8. Soulmates are single

Love is a complex emotion. It is true that โ€œwe canโ€™t choose who we loveโ€ โ€” love flows freely and runs wild. Who can claim to understand the mysteries of the heart? As such, many people are tormented by the fact that the one they love is already in a relationship or marriage. This is not the same as stimulation seeking or lust: soulmates resonate much deeper than great chemistry, sex or compatible interests. As such, soulmates in this position must choose to move on, or break up marriages. While both options are painful, both are ultimately catalysts for growth.

Myth 9. Soulmate relationships are effortless

There is a widespread assumption that soulmate love is easy and stress-free. This belief adds to the desirability and idealization of such a relationship. However, soulmate relationships require time, effort, patience and diligence like any other relationships. Without conscious maintenance, even soulmate relationships will fail.

Myth 10. Soulmates complete you

Perhaps the most destructive myth of all, the thought that our soulmates complete us is not only misleading but it is also highly self-disrespecting. We are taught to believe that our soulmates are our โ€œmissing halvesโ€ when in fact they are helpers and catalysts of our spiritual growth. The belief that our soulmate โ€œcompletes usโ€ is so popular because it encourages us to bypass responsibility for our happiness and wholeness. Itโ€™s much easier to put the burden and pressure on others! So many people enter relationships believing their soulmate will give them everything they need. This, unfortunately, leads to issues such as codependency, toxic enabling and self-betrayal.

Instead of looking outside for completion, why not look inside of your own precious and unexplored soul? Everything โ€” all the love, acceptance and joy you need โ€” is waiting there to be found.

Tell me โ€ฆ

Did you have any strong emotional responses to this article? Perhaps this article was everything you didnโ€™t want to read, or everything you hoped to discover. I hope that Iโ€™ve helped to bring more realism to a world that can easily get obscured by myths and ideals.

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Some final parting words: learn how to love yourself โ€“ to forgive and cherish the person you are. This is the best way to both attract and bring harmony to your soulmate relationship.

Did I forget to mention any important soulmate love myths? I welcome any thoughts or experiences you have below. Finally, if you haven’t already, take the soulmate test I created (just for fun!).

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

(26) Comments

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  1. AnonymousPerson says

    July 12, 2023 at 3:08 pm

    You certainly can’t find your soulmate. It can be a chance encounter, sure, but usually just sitting around and waiting for your soulmate is something only women can do. Sure, women can initiate and men can be chased, but rarely will women do anything to approach you first. Besides, a lot of women stuck with no partner for a long time, because they’re waiting for the one, and not actively finding someone could make use of the more masculine approach to things for once, if all this waiting and sitting around isn’t doing anything. I know you can find soulmates in unpredictable spaces, but neither will you find a soulmate if you stay isolated all the time, make no attempt to meet anyone new even for platonic friendships, and just make no effort to be the one to show love, affection, and compliments, while waiting for Prince Charming to do the action, then they get annoyed when you act like a princess who expects that all the affection to ease insecurities must come from the man, not her. I’m not saying that you, Luna, are personally like this. I’m just saying this is a possibility that this can be misinterpreted in other possible situations out there.

    Reply
  2. Marion Peters-Marks says

    May 16, 2022 at 3:09 am

    Your insight always astounds me. You have offered so much food for thought and I have enjoyed seeing issues in another conceptual context. Thank you for sharing these messages.

    Reply
  3. Loree says

    July 06, 2021 at 11:32 pm

    #7 contradicts #5. Do you really need to pander to all the โ€œwokeโ€ BS thatโ€™s on the planet these days?

    Reply
    • AnonymousPerson says

      July 12, 2023 at 3:01 pm

      Fuck you, homophobe.

      Reply
  4. Emma says

    February 10, 2021 at 5:33 am

    An informative, engaging and empowering article. Thank you.

    Reply
  5. L says

    January 19, 2021 at 7:58 am

    I once bumped into someone who made my whole body freeze like time had STOPPED.
    Is that a soulmate? If so, I’ve already lost them (lol)
    This article was so much fun to read, I’m glad to see such myths debunked ^^ Animals are definitely the best kinds of soul friends

    Reply
  6. Collier Hageman says

    May 31, 2018 at 7:35 am

    Another widely believed myth about soulmates is that you “just know” when you meet them. Perhaps, if you’re quite evolved, or just very lucky. But often people encountrr thier soulmates and have no idea, until much later, until it’s too late, or maybe never.

    Reply
  7. Karalyn says

    February 08, 2017 at 1:48 am

    I was reading another article and got to the bottom where the ‘let the universe choose my message’ was. I have been investigating spirit/totem animals so I asked the universe to take me to something relevant to this. I came here to soulmates and thought oh that didn’t work! I have been getting a few messages that the cat is important to me. As I was skimming over the article thinking this isn’t what I wanted I came to soulmates aren’t always human. I read it and it made me think of my cat Canni who has now gone. I remembered the very special bond we had and how people used to say they hadn’t seen a cat behave as he did with me. I take this as reinforcement of my totem animal, and I believe he was my true soulmate (although my husband is a pretty close second ;) Thanks Luna and Sol for everything you do.

    Reply
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