Most of us define a Soul Mate as a perfect romantic partner who will fulfill every aspect of our being. Soul Mates are in sync with us, they are supportive, sexy, intelligent, funny, and will be part of our “happily ever after” story.
The truth is, life is not quite that simple.
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What Exactly is a Soul Mate?
A Soul Mate is a member of your soul family. These are other souls that come into our lives for one reason or another, and they can be family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, lovers, and even enemies.
We all have a soul, and when we encounter other souls in our lives, the friction of the meeting between two energy forces can create different, intriguing, and challenging effects. Some souls will feel as though they have known each other from another lifetime, some will clash, and some will feel at ease with the other person’s company.
Essentially, some of the souls that come into our lives will help us grow in love and wisdom, while others will aid us in learning difficult life lessons or universal truths.
No matter how fleeting the encounter, each soul that comes into our lives has the potential to provide a significant life-transforming moment, even that one girl who smiled at you from the window of a bus passing by.
Soul Mates serve as mirrors of ourselves. What we see in another soul reflects our own soul.
When we are capable of seeing others’ souls as ‘mates’, (including our enemies), as members of our family that are there to teach us life lessons, then our whole perception and relation to other people changes entirely.
Different Types of Soul Mates
In our language, we have the word ‘friend’, and the word ‘soul mate’ which is essentially romantic by nature. But how would you describe someone that falls in between? Someone who is more than just a ‘best friend’ but doesn’t have the romantic and sexual attraction of a ‘soul mate’?
We need to create new words to express these relationships we have with others. Here are a few words that help to distinguish these deep connections we have in life:
Soul Friend
This is your most common type of relationship connection. These are the people in your life who you have chosen because your ego, intelligence or emotions are harmonious with the others. Essentially, you share the same tastes, interests, beliefs, sense of humor, and values.
While this connection is not as deep as a Soul Companion, a Soul Friend’s company creates little friction. Sometimes Soul Friends can become Soul Teachers, but generally, you are the one who chooses your Soul Friend as you perceive the world in a similar way to them.
Soul Teacher
Soul Teachers are composed of all the people in your life who have come to teach you a lesson. They don’t necessarily teach you intentionally but often provide challenging situations in your life for you to overcome and learn from.
Soul Teachers often come in the form of family members, friends, acquaintances, old lovers, momentary drifters, and even enemies. You attract them into your life because you need to learn something from them. For example, some teach you to cultivate patience for the guy who doesn’t signal before changing lanes, to stop lusting over the ‘bad boys’ that keep crossing your path, or to develop greater compassion and understanding for another person’s way of life and beliefs.
Usually, any friction in relationships is due to a failure in acknowledging something within ourselves, or in other words; a resistance to the lessons our Soul Teachers teach us. We can never change other people unless they are open to do so, but we can change ourselves.
Soul Companion
This would come closest to what we commonly define as a “soul mate” with the exception of romantic attraction. Soul Companions can be males or females, friends or family members. While Soul Friends are harmonized with us through their ego identities, Soul Companions experience soulful harmony with us. The nature of a Soul Companion is much more long-lived and stable to that of a Soul Friend for this reason.
Many times, the relationships you develop with these people will feel as though you’ve known them for centuries, even from past lives. With a Soul Companion, there is a great and deep understanding of the other person and a feeling that you are both on the same ‘wavelength’ of thoughts and emotions. These connections often last for a lifetime.
Soul Companions share both attributes of Soul Friends and Soul Teachers in that they experience ego harmony with us, as well as teach, help us learn, and grow without the friction of a Soul Teacher, as Soul Companions lovingly share with us the journey.  One of the reasons for such depth and harmony is that they usually share with us the same Soul Age.
Soul Mirror
The ancient Greeks believed that our souls were once whole, and the Gods divided them into two different halves, and once we found our other halves we would become whole and complete again. That is the essence of Soul Mirrors.
Finding our Soul Mirror often feels like finding a piece of ourselves that was missing (even though, at a core level, we are whole and complete already). Many describe the feeling as ‘returning home’, or developing a greater sense of wholeness in the presence of the other person.Â
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Soul Mirrors share complementary, compatible life goals, and their spiritual natures are often in sync. They also experience immense levels of comfort with each other that cannot be experienced in other relationships, and they complement each other in many ways through their strengths and weaknesses.Â
Interestingly, the Soul Age development of a person plays a significant role in Soul Mirror relationships. Mature and Old Souls, for example, are more in tune with finding their mates as they are more capable of experiencing a peaceful, joyous love that is not rooted in infatuation. This love can be grounded in unconditional affection that requires significant spiritual development first to overcome the fears and possessive attachments that are involved in most typical relationships.
In the end, it’s important to remember that none of these relationships are better or worse than the other – they each serve a purpose in our spiritual growth and healing.
Why Soul Mates Come Into Our Lives
There are three ways a Soul Mate can come into our lives, and that is For a Reason, For a Season, and For a Lifetime.
It is important to know of this distinction because once you know why a Soul Mate has come into your life, you can know what to expect from that connection. All too often we find couples, for example, who are still clinging to the dead flower of a relationship that was once blossoming but has reached the end of its season. So let’s have a closer look at these:
For a Reason
When you come across a Soul Mate for a REASON, it’s usually to meet a need that has been expressed in your life. This can be for guidance, assistance through difficult times, support, depth of conversations, or simply as a presence for you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. A Soul Mate can last a moment or a lifetime, depending on the type of Soul Mate relationship it is.
For a Season
Then there are Soul Mates for a SEASON, or people that come into our lives only momentarily. These people may serve as catalysts to share, grow, and learn, or they may present themselves in a moment when we need to overcome our fears of vulnerability, or when we need someone to challenge our belief system, or even when we need to discover a passion we were unaware of. Regardless of the reason, these Soul Mates are only Seasonal and leave once their gift has passed on.
For a Lifetime
Lifetime relationships are predominantly Soul Mirror connections. They teach us lessons that are so deep, so intricate that they require a lifetime of loving growth with the other to assimilate deeply.
In lifetime connections, the strengths of one person are used to strengthen the other, and the harmony between both Soul Mates is so peaceful and flows so well that they often last a lifetime. These relationships are as rare and as precious as fine jewels, and we should feel immensely blessed if we encounter them during our lives.
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There are an infinity of Soul Mates out there that we will encounter during our lives. While some come to teach us something new, others come to share our joys. While some last for only a few months or years, others last for a lifetime.
With these lessons and shared moments of bliss, we learn to grow spiritually and come closer to finding our wholeness as human beings.
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Hello, This is really a nice article. I’ve searched and searched and searched about what is the meaning of soulmate and in fact, it turns out always be the same: many articles said that soulmate is someone who’ll be your partner in life. Well, can’t disagree but I think there might be something else, and your article makes my perspective wider. I have a problem if you don’t mind to read. Me and my friend have the same wavelength, and we share the same interest, etc. I could say that I like him a lot and he knew. So sometimes he walked away if we’re to close , he didn’t want to get attached with me. Today, because I’m so tired with this kind of relationship (we’re not going anywhere but stuck) we want to make things clear by talking face to face. It turns out, we agreed that just being friend is easier for us. Well, he confessed that he ever had interest in me a while ago but he didn’t want to think too far, we can be a couple or married, or something else like that… he just didn’t want to think about it. I could understand… Read more »
Great article. A long time ago, I saw a woman at work and there was some instant attraction to her. She was just lovely and there was something about her. In an INTERESTING TWIST, this woman was literally my twin (without the actual blood ties). We shared the same birthday (day, month, year and HOSPITAL – we were born about 1 1/2 hours apart). When I found this out, I thought there was something magical. However, I was not very social adept and never really asked her out. I found out later that she was seeing someone anyway. Years later, we have remained good friends through thick and thin. Through her relationships, I’d always thought that maybe we would “become lovers” at some point. We knew each other very well. However, it was apparent at a dinner this past Christmas that our chemistry (at least at this point) just didn’t carry in that direction. Once I had acknowledged that perhaps I was viewing things in the wrong lens, it seems our friendship sped up even more. We started talking about self improvement, relationships and how to “help each other”. I admit that I am slightly envious of her having a… Read more »
This is a very good article and I love it. It give distinction on what soul mates could actually be; soul twin, soul teacher, soul friend, and soul companion, since I think these days people over-generalise what soul mates actually are. It makes me sad that even distinguished like this, I could not pointed out this man I have unrequited love was what kind of soul mates, because if I have to be frank, he would be the combinations of all soul mates. But I could be wrong after all.
Thank you Luna for such articles as this. I am in crisis trying to learn from an ill fated infatuation with a woman who simply doesnt feel that way toward me. We are bitter toward each other and its wearing me out. I am trying to surrender to the reality of the situation and I’m just not there yet (and I’m 50 years old!!) I truly hope one day I will forgive her and mostly myself for things said and actions taken. I recently discovered you and your wisdom is humbling. I am very encouraged that I will, one day be thankful for this experience and realize it was a necessary chapter in my life. Thank you for being you.
I think this is BS. A reason to doubt more with the idea of being content with one self and not striving to grow a lifetime with one person. I know it’s a soft of new way of thinking but for some it might be an excuse to drop someone if they are not meeting those requirements when it could have nothing to do with their partner and everything to do with themselves. I know this is a pointless discussion, but I believe as a mag pie or an eagle that when they CHOOSE a mate it’s there mate for life or even the penguin. There is nevery in any of their way of living a chance they might want to mate with another. They are there mates they both choose it. They commit to it. Guaranteed other animals like lions have more than one female to one male. I believe it’s a guide line to show us our own options. We know where our hearts lie that we can very happily and enjoy one person for the rest of our lives… .. when we choose that path it sets us on it. For some it might be they choose… Read more »
Nice article. Wish i can find my soul twin as soon as possible.
Good stuff Sol. I was thinking the other day about how well I get along with a colleague of mine,our interactions are so smooth and pleasant,I feel as if I’ve known her for years (I only met her last year). I even like to joke with her that we are family whenever I annoy her! This is the first time I’ve felt such a connection with someone,and I’m not infatuated with her. I feel as if I’m a soul teacher to other people in my life (this might be the ego talking,but I think even to my parents and older brother) and a soul student to certain people that majorly affect my life and learn some life lessons from (whether I like them or not). This article perfectly sums these occurrences up.
This is a subject which is on my mind a lot recently. I’ve been meeting people lately whom i’ve instinctively recognised as “soul family”. I’m recognising several “soul teachers” in my life right now too; I know that they’re here to teach me something, as i feel awkward being around them, but life keeps throwing them into my path! Being around them just seems to throw certain insecurities of mine into the light. It’s not so much fun, but it’s definitely forcing me to confront some things ;)
I’ve also been sensing an impending meeting of someone very very important; a twin soul, i feel. I can’t explain it rationally, but i just sense his presence. It started as a vague feeling, but it’s becoming more and more pronounced each week! I’ve noticed also that the amount of synchronicity in my life- especially regarding soul connections- is increasing dramatically too. It’s almost a bit ridiculous, and makes me laugh often.
In a way, i guess we’re ALL soulmates of one sort or another. We’re all little mirrors of each other!
Thank you for another lovely article x
Consider yourself lucky if you are in a long term relationship and you are best friends with your partner. Some people’s destiny is to be looking for a soul mate like Greek mythology. Others are not so picky! Perhaps it’s unrealistic to think that your soul mate feels the same and will never betray this idea!.Personally, I believe in the friendship aspect of marriage.
It was difficult, sad even, having to come to the realization that there isn’t one person that you will live happily ever after with. I’ve always been a hopeful romantic; romance films are among my favorites. They fill me with joy. It’s as if i am watching dreams of mine vusually on television. But, lately i’ve come to appreciate the realities of the world, and just work on myself.