How whole do you think you are?
In our natural state, we are filled with dualities.ย All our sensations, impressions, feelings and thoughts, are divided into good and bad, positive and negative, useful and harmful, necessary and unnecessary, pleasant and unpleasant.ย Our thoughts contradict our feelings, our instincts undermine our desire for peace and quiet.ย We perceive and experience our whole life through this process of opposites.
In the Incan tradition there is no such thing as opposing forces.ย Instead, the world is perceived as being alive and responsive and composed of vibrating fields of pure energy.ย This energy is divided into two sides of the same spectrum; Sami and Hucha.ย Sami is known as purer energy that has been refined through conscious work and the cultivation of awareness.ย Hucha, on the other hand, is not ‘negative’, ‘bad’ or ‘dark’ energy, but rather is simply heavier energy because it is incompatible or disharmonious with the present situation.
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This way of looking at the world makes it much easier to avoid the opposing dualities we create.ย Instead of seeing the world as a variety of split up opposites, the Incan tradition sees that everything consists of different densities of vibration, but all that which is vibrating is the same force.
As we already know from science; all that exists is energy condensed into different frequencies of vibration.ย My point is that once we realize that we don’t need to see the world in black and white, we realize that it instead exists in a variety of different shades of grey.ย Ultimately this creates greater wholeness in our lives.ย In this article I will explore why exactly this is.
Arising Mutually
Daemon est Deus inversus (Devil is God inverted) ~ W. B. Yeats
The Chinese have a beautiful way of explaining the Yin and Yang; they describe them as “arising mutually“.ย A great way to illustrate this is to study the nature of flowers and bees.
In our perception they are entirely different beings; one flies and buzzes, the other is rooted in the ground and colorfully perfumes the environment so bees are attracted to it.ย But have you ever considered that they are in fact one single organism?ย While the bees are the sexual organs of flowers, the flowers are the nourishment of the bees.ย They are entirely the opposite of each other, just as our sexual organs and mouths appear different as well, but they depend on one another to survive, they are one and the same, they arise mutually.
Opposing natural forces that enhance each other are seen everywhere in the world.ย What we call a “full moon” for example, is defined by the relative position of the Earth to the Sun.ย The moon is always full, but to us it only appears to be full when its entire visible face is reflecting the light of the sun.ย The moon’s “shine” is brightest when it is faced with its opposition.
I have previously written about encountering your Shadow Self, and the wholeness that this experience can create.ย To “shine your brightness” does not necessarily mean to show your best and most noble qualities, instead, it means to seek the opposing forces within you, shining your brightest, experiencing your full moon.
Nietzsche put it this way in his masterwork Thus Spoke Zarathustra:
My brothers in war!ย I love you from the very heart, I am and have always been of your kind.ย And I am also your best enemy.
He felt that we should’nt care about picking our friends as we will naturally be attracted to those who are like us.ย Instead, pick your enemies wisely, for they will be the ones to challenge you, the ones who force you to be more aware, awake and sharp.
Opposing forces provides clarity in our wholeness, they shed light on the dark side of the moon.ย By this, I mean that you’ll learn about your attractive and noble traits, as well as your hideous and ignoble ones.
Opposition helps to reveal hidden things within us.ย We can’t see these hidden things until confronted by something that appears to be very different, or even opposite from us.ย How can you learn about your depth of compassion if you aren’t confronted with coldness, indifference or suffering?ย How can you learn about your capacity for fear until risking everything for love?ย How can you learn about your capacity for gentleness until being met with harshness?
Dark Night Of The Soul
Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find.ย When they find, they will be disturbed.ย When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all.ย And after they have reigned they will rest. ~ Gospel of Thomas (2:1, 2)
There is no personal growth, no awakening in life and no awakening to life, without first seeing and acknowledging our existing dissatisfaction.ย This dissatisfaction is not the usual day-to-day kind, but is rather a deep, internal disappointment, it is that gaping inner void which constantly reminds us that something is missing, something at a core level is lost.
To live in mediocrity is to never encounter this essential dissatisfaction.ย Being absorbed in routines, avoiding anything of substance and depth, and accepting your limited life, all amounts to ignoring the fact that something substantially deep and vital is lacking.
To awaken to this deep dissatisfaction in ones life, is what in mystical history they referred to as experiencing a “dark night of the soul“.ย This essentially, is the experience of a spiritual or existential crisis in ones search for God or Spiritual Enlightenment.ย Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski coined the modern term “Positive Disintegration” to describe this experience which is considered necessary for personal growth.
The moment we are born, our mortal human existence arises mutually with an opposite force, the existence of our eternal divine origins.ย It is our natural urge to search for this whole-making process that is to find our “holiness”.ย The more aware we become of our unity with our surroundings and our lack of individual separation, the greater the urge to find our wholeness will be.
The Art Of Joining Opposites
The word alone is a wonderful word that, unlike lonely, reflects the fullness and completeness you enjoy in your own solitary presence.ย The word “alone” literally means wholly oneness or all-in-one.
At the root of your spiritual journey, you are alone.ย Nobody but you can penetrate the depths of your being.ย Some people will meet you along your path; some guides, some friends and enemies, but always be aware that these people are just visitors, with lessons and challenges for you to grapple.
For the person who seeks to transcend duality, to reconnect to their Wholeness, their Oneness, there will always be a pull, an attraction towards Solitude.
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Solitude is the mutually arising opposite of company.ย The “I Am” false identity only exists in the presence of others, the “I’m Not” experience of oneness is more easily found when one is alone.
I’ve always been a strong advocate for spending time alone, at least 20 minutes a day.ย You can use that time to become aware, witness and understand the dance of opposites within and without you.ย Spirituality in its essence is about experiencing non-duality; seeing and sensing the profound interrelatedness and ultimate Oneness, of everything.ย To accomplish this, you have to learn how to identify and separate the opposing parts that dance around, and master the art of joining them together.
Here are some suggestions you can use to create greater wholeness in your life:
Identify the opposing forces:ย Observe the dualities within you; good and bad, generous and greedy, selfless and selfish, beautiful and ugly, love and hate etc.
Bridge these opposing forces:ย Through sincere acceptance and honesty with ourselves of our “good” and “bad” traits, greater wholeness can be achieved in our lives.ย Exploring our Shadow Self, in particular, helps us to acknowledge and embrace the darker elements of ourselves.
Learn how to identify the interconnectedness of life’s opposites: ย Become aware of how the forces of life change your perception of reality.ย For example: to feel the impact of cold, we must have known warmth before.ย Hot and cold compliment each other because they are the same experience (temperature) in different degrees, rather than being two separate experiences.
Experience the wholeness of opposites:ย The reason why “relativity” exists is because everything varies depending on the position of the spectrum it is in.ย Cold is not really “cold”, it is just a lesser amount of “hot”.ย Hot is not hot, it is just a lesser amount of cold.
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Little by little these awareness exercises reveal that the “I and That” notion doesn’t exist at all: it is illusory.ย But first we must learn to become true, whole and defined individuals.ย It seems paradoxical, but only when you have become a true, complete and well-defined individual can you hope to go beyond individuality.ย In other words, without first developing your ego or sense of self, you can never hope to experience an ego death.
Only once we take responsibility for our multidimensional nature – understanding the angel and the devil within us, the compassion and heartlessness, the artistic and the intellectual – can we begin to become fully human.ย Only then can we truly love ourselves.
It is then, once we are fully human, that we can aim to experience Holiness; to connect to our divinity.
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I suggest if people are looking for examples of a specific list of dualities in their life you can just google a “List of dualities,” “List of antonyms” (word for opposites), and “List of opposites.” That way, you can examine each of them. The ones I recommend is a balance between passiveness/passive-aggressiveness vs aggressiveness, where the balance is called assertiveness. There’s also the balance between being trusting and being paranoid, where the balance is wise judgment. Lastly, I recommend the balance between the individual and the collective, neither focusing entirely on yourself, and neither focusing entirely on others, but somewhere in the middle. You can also google “Aristotle’s golden mean,” who believe that morality comes from the balance of qualities. For example, courage is the balanced quality, but in excess, it is recklessness, and with a lack of it is cowardice. Pick any moral value or character value, and think or journal to yourself what it may look like in excess or in lack, then ask yourself what the balanced version looks like or how to do that. Another example is mercy and forgiveness. In excess, it is naivety. In lack, it is cruelty. Perhaps look up “List of values,” and ask yourself what the golden mean in Aristotle’s philosophy would look like.
Words cannot even express and begin to describe my love for this website! Somehow as strange as this may seem to some. It has some sort of answers. Questions my being needs answers to. I always always find something incredible and amazing here. I absolutely don’t regret signing up to this website. Such beautiful beautiful people who have created this!!!
Thank you Sarah, your words mean a lot to us as that is exactly the reason we started and dedicate so much to our work on here.
Oh bless your souls both beyond words could ever even begin to ever describe
What a brilliant article!
I have been exploring your website recently, and relate deeply to many of your essays. I feel the constant Babylonian pressure and programming urging us all to split into harsh black and white thinking, creating a mass schism paired with rampant ego mania. That’s straight up a divide and conquer MO benefiting those who seek power and control. The power high must be better than anything synthetic the way people use, abuse, manipulate,etc. to obtain and sustain it! Glad I never tasted it. No caer en la trampa! However, I have always felt that there was no good/ right/wrong etc. and rather that it just WAS, and our reactions to such were relative. For that view I have been shunned, judged, called a sociopath, etc. So I shut up. Kept it in. This is the only forum/website that I have found with so many similar ideas/contemplations/analyzations that I relate to verbatem. All the things that I have been intensely soul seeking since becoming aware. Revealing these thoughts have raised eyebrows and spawned hatred of my views. I do my best to look deep inside and analyze my own emotions and behaviors, as well as those I interact with, as to do the best I can so I am able to grow, It is so hard. SO HARD! Wow. I aim to not judge, be accountable, break habits, etc. but do not succeed 100% of the time. Waking up and becoming aware was the most illuminating, yet absolute hardest thing, I have ever embarked on. Knowing I have much to work on keeps me humble and moving forward during those dark times. Sometimes I want to give up, I feel old and tired at 32. Like 1000s of years old. Some days are harder then others. The feeling of being eternal and infinite are overwhelming and imprisoning at times. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts, knowledge, and wisdom. The information is powerful but non judgmental. I feel like I just want to go home (not sure where that is) away from this existence…but I suppose there is much work to be done. Logically I know I am nowhere near a sociopath, or any other label, but that comment lingers in the back of my mind especially when I am low. Not believing in right or wrong, as an altruistic credo of common sense for all mankind, seems sane enough to me. Others however, that are in different areas of their journey, are defensive to any type of confrontation to their core beliefs. Perhaps it sounds like: if one does not believe in these binary extremes that they are forfeiting all accountability? Ha. A sociopath would never suffer this much trying to figure out life, others, himself to better himself. What then for them? Are they Lost Souls forever if they lack the ability to feel emotion? Do they not suffer these obsticles to self mastery? Are they the lucky ones much to everyone around thems demise? Eh, but I still would choose awareness in all it’s darkness as to see the light. Think I just needed to dump that in writing. Thanks again, I will read onward. I’m feeling your realness! End rant.
DanielleTerese
Oh my I love you
I absolutely just loved all of what you just wrote. Woah and Wow! The way you described your emotions and feelings and everything you just felt about this website and what it has to offer. Aaahhh I loved every single word! Goodness me you explain yourself so well. I love it!!
i just took the Dark Night Of The Soul test and lead me to this article. i got 75% on that test. the depression and negativeness won’t leave me alone. when i read this, i nod and then became confused by myself. the more i read this article, the bigger question mark emerged. am i walking in the right path?
and i’m scared to know the truths from the others because i know what will they say to me. no matter how hard i try to ignore what the others said but i can’t. sorry if it’s out of the topic. i just don’t know. sometimes i feel i’m good but the next day i feel i’m completely lost.
Great read! The longer I walk down my life path, the more I realize the need of more balance in my life. For so long, I tried to destroy the “negative” or “shadow self”, not realizing it was an integral part of my existence and who I am. The more comfortable I became realizing this is part of me, the more balanced and peaceful I became. Anything too polarized, left me off balance and not feeling like my true self. I like the framework that you have shaped everything in. You showed how both grow together, and that is truly being whole. Keep up the great articles!
Hola Mr Cochran,
In a society that has divided everything into dichotomys, into good and bad, beautiful and ugly; it’s only natural to feel an urge to remove that within us which is not found acceptable in this society.
The problem is, thinking these feelings, these sides of ourselves shouldn’t be there creates a small rejection of our whole selves. We begin hating ourselves and it makes the problem worse.
Nothing in extreme’s is good, from external actions like eating or working to internal ones like only accepting the good bits of ourselves or generalizing ourselves into black/white psychological traits.
Thank you for sharing your own experience, the more of us who share our stories the easier it is for others to accept their own.
I took the dark night of the soul test and got 100% – but I am use to it – Seems I have being doing that most my life.
The statement you made >”The problem is, thinking these feelings, these sides of ourselves
shouldn’t be there creates a small rejection of our whole selves. We
begin hating ourselves and it makes the problem worse.” Bingo!
I felt my whole body and mind relax, this makes so much sense – I see I am always judging myself for not doing or being enough. I did not get how to join the 2 (positive, negative) to be whole until I read this post. wow – Thank you.
You’re most welcome Adele, it’s a key moment of realization when we reach the part of our journey certain aspects and behaviors of ourselves just ‘click’ as the source of our problems. It’s an ever evolving process of soulful expansion :)
“In other words, without first developing your ego or sense of self, you can never hope to lose your ego or sense of self.”
Mateo, I fully understood this.
I am enjoying your articles – they help me along my own personal journey of trying to keep the “light” in my world and to open up to find my own light to shine. This article gave me an idea for making my alone time more productive. Thank you for your articles. I enjoy Aletheia’s articles well. You compliment each other well.
Debra
The same line jumped out at me Debra…
It said so much in such a simple way…
Thanks Don!
Hola Deb and Tania,
It’s beautiful to constantly see that even though we are all on separate journeys, our realizations and experiences and very similar and we can understand what others share.
The path is the same, all that varies is our own personal hindrances and demons that might appear along the way.
Thank you both for reading and for incorporating some of what we share to in your daily life :)
What? No test? (just kidding)
I liked the quote from the Gospel of Thomas. Being a seeker is a compulsion to me. I stop sometimes but I always return to the crooked path to me. Since retiring I do have more time alone for contemplation and I’m also finding new friends rather than coworkers. I suppose I’m a hermit rather than a recluse. As I live in a semi rural area in the deep south I have to do my searching alone. But it seems that there are others like me and we are drawn to each other. Loner is not the same as lonely.
I first heard the term “Whole Person” from a Cherokee woman who was a shaman, something she didn’t aspire to be but just was. So I began reading about the whole person from her point of view. I still see her occaisionally and she reports on my aura. She also sees the newly dead who are oftentimes confused and she helps them along. I asked her about this and she said she’ll be driving past a funeral home and will see someone who just looks abandoned. She says to herself, “here we go again” but she always stops to help them. She also avoids cemeteries because there are so many unhappy people there. Real or unreal? Who knows? I have no reason to doubt her and I believe that everyone you meet has something to teach you.
I enjoyed your post and keep up the good work.
Hola John,
Actually…we already did a Dark Night Of The Soul Test some time ago: https://lonerwolf.com/dark-night-soul-test/ :p
The path of searching for truth is less like a linear ascent of a mountain and more like a journey of going up hill and then finding yourself descending into valleys, it’s a dark night after all so we can’t see very well where we are going. There’s some areas that need more work than others, psychologically as well as spiritually.
A mistake is to think that growing spiritually we don’t need to work on the psychological aspects of ourselves. I’ve seen it to often that seekers reach a spiritual level of self-understanding that psychologically they aren’t prepared to handle. I think you’re at the best at for cultivating your understanding, with free time and less youthful impulsive instincts.
Everyone does have something to teach, whether they are aware of it or not, they challenge us. Your Cherokee friend sounds like someone interesting to meet :).
Thank you for reading and sharing my friend, I love reading the experiences of all our readers.
Great article! I’m always amazed with the new things I learn from here. I’m really glad I read this :)
Hola Isabelle,
That’s what we aim for; to bring you and our readers unusual perspectives and ideas to contemplate and expand our understanding of life :)
Hello to you both :-)
Consider playing with the perspectives that:
what you named a natural human is actually a conditioned human, and we are on the unprecedented precipice of finally experiencing what a natural human actually is…
and,
deliberately looking for the beauty in contrasts is another way of resolving(solvent of love and acceptance?)/wholing duality/polarization/opposites…
You are a true beauty to me, and I am absolutely your friend.
Hugs!
Love,
ZZ
Hola ZZ,
That’s a good way of looking at it. I like to think of humans, not as human beings, but as human becoming; as humans heading towards the natural human in an ever progressing process of growth :).
Thank you for sharing your great way of looking at contracts!
Luz,
Sol