The spiritual ego is the most dangerous type of ego of all.
If you aren’t mindful, it can wreak total destruction in your life – but not in a violent or aggressive way. Instead, the spiritual ego is disguised under the mask of “good intentions,” “higher vibration,” “awakened perspective” and humble pomposity.
Beware of the spiritual ego.
It’s a trap that many of us spiritual seekers can and will, at some point, fall into. And the longer we remain in that spiritual ditch, that stagnant standstill, the more likely we are to develop into a spiritual narcissist.
Indeed, spiritual narcissism is perhaps the most tragic malady to befall humanity of all. We’ll explore why a little later. But first:
What is the Spiritual Ego?
Firstly, let’s touch on the basics. The ego is our sense of self; it is the illusory “I” story we carry around in the world as an evolutionary survival mechanism. Yet the ego is the source of all our suffering and our feeling of being separated from that which we truly are which is boundless, whole, and infinite. We might call this Spirit, God/dess, Life, Oneness, Consciousness, and so on.
So what is the spiritual ego? The spiritual ego builds on top of this fundamental ego that we carry around. It is the ego on crack, the ego on steroids, the ego inflated beyond its usual garden-variety size. Yet the thing is, we don’t realize we’ve developed a spiritual ego until life well and truly starts getting messy.
How Does the Spiritual Ego Develop?
The spiritual ego is a product of spiritual materialism – that is, using spirituality to serve the ego, instead of approaching the spiritual path with the intent on trying to move beyond the ego.
When spiritual paths, practices, and concepts become a slave of the ego, this is the birth of the spiritual ego. In other words, when a person’s central idea about themselves is ruled by the belief that they’re a “spiritual person” this is the spiritual ego.
When being a “spiritual person” eclipses all else that a person is, this is the spiritual ego in action. Yes, there are positive benefits to building your identity around spirituality. But there are also some pretty scary consequences that we shouldn’t ignore.
The Development of Spiritual Narcissism
Walking the spiritual path properly is a very subtle process; it is not something to jump into naively. There are numerous sidetracks which lead to a distorted, ego-centered version of spirituality; we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are developing spiritually when instead we are strengthening our egocentricity through spiritual techniques. This fundamental distortion may be referred to as spiritual materialism.
– Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Spiritual narcissism is the very culmination of spiritual egotism: it is the ego that has become so solid, so fixed, so unyielding in the idea of its own spiritual greatness that it is pathological. It is narcissistic.
As we know already, narcissism is a mental disorder where a person has an inflated sense of their own importance (amongst several other hairy issues). The exact same problem applies to spiritual narcissists: they have such unwavering belief in their own awakened perspective, their own “special” spiritual achievements and knowledge, that they cannot connect with (or tolerate) their humanity. Spiritual narcissists cannot tolerate other people either – even though they may fine-tune the external image of being compassionate or wise – others ultimately pose a threat to their delusional grandiosity.
Spiritual narcissism begins with spiritual materialism. Within spiritual materialism (the trap of using spirituality to serve the ego) there is always a seed of spiritual narcissism. And if that seed keeps being fed without going unchecked, without being uprooted or challenged, it grows and grows.
Eventually, we can become so sidetracked, so deluded by the ego that has used spirituality to make itself indestructible, that we are worse off on the spiritual path than when we began.
Examples of the Spiritual Ego
Some of these examples border on spiritual narcissism (or are flat out narcissistic), others can more typically be seen in the spiritual community. Let’s look at some examples of the spiritual ego:
- Claiming to have “special access” to a spirit guide/angel/spirit/ascended master for the purposes of self-aggrandizement
- Believing oneself to be the reincarnation of a superior being, famous spiritual historical figure, etc. (what does it really matter if one is?)
- Taking frequent pictures of one’s spiritual practice and posting them online in order to boost one’s self-image, status, and gain attention/validation
- Declaring that others can’t possibly understand you because you have attained a certain state of ‘high vibrational awareness,’ awakening, liberation, etc. – and showing contempt for those who aren’t at the same ‘level’ (instead of compassion)
- Using Dharma-talk to avoid being psychologically vulnerable, showing empathy, and facing human emotions (e.g., “Just let go and let be,” “You attracted that experience,” “Who is there to experience this?”)
- Looking down on “low vibe,” “unevolved,” “unawakened,” “asleep” people
- Boasting about and flaunting spiritual achievements or gifts
- Imitating what a “spiritual person” looks and sounds like
You get the picture.
I’m sure you can think of a few more examples, and you’re welcome to share them in the comments.
15 Signs of the Spiritual Ego
The spiritual ego is so dangerous because it is nearly impenetrable.
People can spend their entire lives (or lifetimes) stuck in the trap of unknowingly misusing spiritual words, ideas, practices, and paths to inflate their egos.
Sadly, the spiritual ego can result in instances of abuse and even murder such as Jonestown, the abuse committed by Bikram Choudhury (founder of Bikram yoga), Swami Rama (Indian yogi), Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (spiritual teacher), Sogyal Rinpoche, Andrew Cohen, and even Chogyam Trungpa (who coined spiritual materialism), and so on. The cases of spiritual ego are so wide and varied they are impossible to include here.
The reality is that as spiritual beings having a human experience we are imperfect. Hell, I’ve fallen into the spiritual ego numerous times – and it’s not pretty. But the crucial thing is to practice humility, openness, and the willingness to be honest with ourselves – these qualities are the best defense against spiritual egotism and narcissism.
So, without further ado, here are signs of the spiritual ego and spiritual narcissism that you need to look out for (both within yourself and others):
- Overly publicizing (read: boasting) your special spiritual accomplishments
- Claiming a stance of superiority (directly or indirectly) due to one’s spiritual gifts or talents
- Attempting to transcend the physical/earthly and take on godlike qualities
- Believing that your connection with the Divine is somehow deeper or more special than other people’s connection
- Focusing on how “more spiritually evolved” you are than others and …
- Judging others for being “less awakened,” “asleep,” “unconscious”
- Attempting to look like, dress like, sound like a “spiritual” person
- Using spiritual words and concepts to avoid being wrong, mistaken or facing vulnerable emotions
- Flaunting how spiritual you are on social media (with photos that demonstrate spiritual postures, setups, locations, tools, etc.)
- Becoming overly identified with spiritual knowledge (and how much “you” know)
- Trying to convert people to your perception (preaching to them or debating)
- Resistance to being “called out” and resenting those who try to do this
- Claiming access to special and exclusive spiritual knowledge that others can’t access
- Lack of curiosity and receptivity to life
- Wearing a mask of niceness, positivity or wisdom
Essentially, those wound up in the woes of spiritual egotism frequently try to reaffirm their spiritual specialness to the world through covert and overt methods. However, more often than not, the spiritual ego is a slippery little devil that is hard to call out or define clearly, simply because we’re so close to it and find ways to justify it.
Why is the Spiritual Ego Dangerous?
Quite simply, the spiritual ego is so dangerous because it is dressed in robes of light. It appears to be awakened, illuminated, wise, and all-loving – and that’s what makes it so difficult to catch.
Furthermore, the spiritual ego makes us feel powerful, even untouchable which is precisely what the ego seeks to achieve. To challenge it challenges the very foundations of our own self-worth and self-image – and that can be positively terrifying. In fact, we can even feel like we’re committing a profane and sacrilegious act calling the spiritual ego out because it’s so inflated and has such a good opinion of itself (a delusion which we have totally bought into).
Not only that, but the spiritual ego is also dangerous because it limits all growth: it is the death of any transformation because to evolve means to go through the cycles of death and rebirth. And if the spiritual ego has “already arrived” there is stasis, there simply cannot be any more growth.
In fact, the deadliest virus on our paths is to believe that “we’ve arrived,” have become “enlightened,” or somehow spiritually superior to others. The ego has not only become narcissistic, but it has developed a full-blown God Complex; the state of believing that it is in actual fact God. But this is not in an egoless, non-dual way: this is pure ego-centrism, the very definition of darkness (or the absence of light).
The more ego-based we are, the further we are from the Light of Consciousness which goes beyond the self. And if residing in the ego equals a disconnection from the Divine, living from a place of ego-centric God Complex goes one step further: it is like living in total darkness – the very definition of hell.
When a person is living in hell, they will harm others. This is basic knowledge that even a child could understand. When there is a total absence of light, there is only darkness – and how can a person see clearly, feel clearly, think clearly, or behave clearly in such a state? The result is suffering, both for the one experiencing the God Complex and those unfortunate souls around him/her.
How to Stop the Spiritual Ego
As I mentioned previously, we need to approach the spiritual path with humility, openness, and the willingness to be honest with ourselves.
A crucial place to start is by practicing a combination of self-love and shadow work – two inner work practices.
We all have a shadow side (i.e., the face of the ego that isn’t presented to the public), and we need to become aware of it in order to prevent issues such as spiritual egotism and narcissism from arising.
If you would like to learn more about shadow work, see our free shadow work guide.
You can start by asking yourself questions such as:
- “If I saw someone else behave the way I do, what would I think of them?”
- “Am I willing to face my inner contradictions – and if there is resistance, what doesn’t the spiritual ego want me to see?”
- “In what areas do I feel spiritually superior to others?”
- “How consistent am I in what I feel, think, and do?”
You can also ask trusted friends, loved ones, or spiritual mentors to help point out areas where you might be falling into spiritual delusion. Introspective journaling (see our shadow work journal), is also another way of calling out the spiritual ego.
What are your thoughts about spiritual narcissism and the spiritual ego? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below. Also, feel free to suggest any methods that can help people guard against this spiritual trap.
This was helpful. Saved me!
Thank you …the more I search , the more child like I become…. and the more sure I am of my path. Dr Seuss’ children’s books have taken on more meaning for me than any books I have read in my 58 years .
You’re most welcome Julie, and just wait till you reread Alice in Wonderland! :)
I feel very confused when I look at Angel Numbers ect and then when I read your articles.
Hello Mateo, Luna and all lonerwolf followers. I thank you for this article. It has helped me recognise and reaffirm that which I’ve noticed within myself that I can work on.
I am still learning, as I hope to do every day for the rest of my life. I, like many others, have been through childhood trauma. This has been my greatest teacher and what started me on the heart path. I believe my purpose is to help others and, until recently, would often do so to my detriment, until I was burnt out. Articles like these, supportive friends and family and intuition led me back to self-love (not selfish love haha).
The only advice I can give is from my own experiences :
– Practice patience and kindness with others and yourself, there are no mistakes, only lessons
– Show/Give love freely (A smile and kind words cost nothing)
– Laugh at yourself, laughing at the Ego is freeing, realising that I COULD laugh at the “monkey mind” loosened it’s hold on me
Much love to all of you, always and forever.
PS Hug as much as you can!
Hello dear Spirits of integrity.
I am concerned because my TF is a Yoga teacher for multiple decades and since we met years ago he has never invited me to facilitate a free (always) self realisation meditation which is everyone’s birthright. During our now 3D estrangement he has announced he is teaching his class to meditate by fixation onto points as taught by some ancient founder. I just don’t know how he and I can progress when he shuts me out and shuts out the truth I have facilitated Self Realisation with a girl friend and now we have conversations every day where we feel the cool breeze of Divine truth flowing over us in our conversations! This is typical for all who have Kundalini awakened and is everyone’s birthright ps David Attenborough and his wife has it as do other public figures and millions of people worldwide. Yes I saw spiritual ego in realised souls too mostly because they had many blessings in the material sense. My reality has been much less material and I have been living a life of freedom to discernment for sure. I am very grateful for this…
Thank you.
So…I knock myself down when I’ve realized that my ego is soaring. It sure feels good since without labeling, being a victim of all sorts of abuse (lucky I’m alive) is a life long quest to return to my true self. Since the parents weren’t around, it’s my job to approve and validate me. I’m on a journey of healing. I know that I’ve had past lives, and yeah, I was someone famous. This much I know, also that I made an impact on the world, was unjustly condemned to die, and yes, it is important, because it’s still me. I’m not famous, but I’m still the same person, with the same abilities, hopefully more wisdom. It’s important because who I was is the reason for who I am. It gives clarity to my current situation. I’m no better than anyone else, just me, striving to be the best version. <3 Love to all.
I like this article a lot. I’m getting better at gently noticing spiritual ego and narcissism in myself and others. I think when we have had trauma, there might be a tendency to have a pronounced reaction to any flavor of narcissism, but then also miss it in ourselves when we embody that dynamic (and judge it harshly in others as above). Perhaps both of those reactions if unconscious can lead to stasis, but gently noticing it feels good and useful.
Thank you Samantha, that’s a great observation :)
So true… now my share… the main question is ‘Can you laugh about yourself’? People who take themselves too seriously, are prone to narcissism. So are people who call other people narcissists. So are those who fight their ego, especially those who claim having vanquished the culprit.
Besides, what is wrong with the ego? Invite your shadow to dance. Just pretend it is in the lead, while you know ‘better’. Love this paradox :)
Hahah, love it Steven. Thank you for sharing, and for dancing :).
Hi Mateo, I have a question. I’ve read yours and Luna’s content on old souls vs. new souls (because it resonates for me and I identify with the experiences described) and I’m wondering if even making that distinction is a kind of spiritual narcissism? What is the benefit to identifying as an old soul? Is it not just another way of claiming a high ground, one that can neither be proved nor disproved?
Dear Hillary,
Thank you for the thoughtful question. You’re correct in thinking ‘old souls’ can be (and is often) used to create ‘spiritual elitism’. The issue is that there genuinely are people who feel (and often externally reflect) a deeper understanding and maturity than others yet it’s this very trait that makes them feel isolated and like outsiders.
As pointed out in previous articles, it’s necessary to first have a healthy well-developed ego before we can think of ‘transcending’ it. And terms like ‘Old Soul’ provide a sort of map to help them understand themselves better and find some level of stability to initiate their journey. As the journey progresses these labels mean less and less and are naturally dropped but they’ll always be those who cling to the labels as oppose to continuing deeper into the journey.
I hope that clears it up :).
Thank you kindly for the response, Mateo, it is helpful. I searched and found Luna’s article on poorly developed sense of self – this will be a good one for me to digest and integrate. Thank you both for the work you do.
Thank you kindly for the reply, Mateo, it was helpful. I searched and found Luna’s article on poorly developed sense of self. This will be a good one for me to digest and integrate. Thank you both for the work you do.
If you are using your mind, you aren’t being spiritual from a place of egolessness. Everything you do, you make a decision based on instinct. The more spiritually connected you are, the more you trust and rely on your gut, not your mind(to make decisions)
Most spiritual teachers are hermits or very selective, because, like Jesus, their powers and skills would get them idolized quickly. Then their message is warped.
Jesus was an awakened being.
Christianity is a warped retelling of his spiritual life.
Look at Mooji. He is a spiritual being but you can see how his followers are idolizing him, which only blocks their own path. I can see the frustration in his videos where his message is warped.
True spirituality isn’t announced or broadcast. It is humble and personal. I realize just me posting this is ego, but this article really helps me see the spiritual community here in Portland differently. It is almost all Narcissistic on some level.
Which is interesting, as it means “Spiritual Leaders” may actually be holding people back from their growth, as Mateo alluded to.
If you want to grow spiritually? It is very simple, and will cost nothing and actually save you money:
1. Eat One Meal A Day and discover fasting. Eat the healthiest food you can find. (The gut’s health is vital) Stop all drugs, including alcohol.
2. Sit and do nothing every day. That may include meditation, but it may also include just watching where your mind goes.
3. Connect with nature, ideally the ocean, Forest, Desert, etc. Each aspect of nature has an impact on our consciousness.
4. Know that things will get very uncomfortable. You will get very confused. You actually will understand less and less at the same time as you gain clarity. Frustration and boredom are all part of this path.
5. Surround yourself with positive energy. People that are supportive. Notes of encouragement. Music that lifts your heart. A clean and organized space. All will allow you to look inward in a much more disciplined life.
Have fun with it. It is a lot more fun in my experience than participating in how the world works now!
Thank you for this article!
Thank you Indy for sharing your wisdom, I love the advice, I hope many follow it. :)
I just want to thank you for the feedback that you gave. The time and effort it takes to respond is maybe motivated and stimulated by the ego driven consciousness to give its interpretation with a confident but not arrogant belief that it /you have attained the right amount of knowledge. wisdom. experience. and insight to be rightfully in a position to speak with the necessary credentials in indeed maybe you feel that you in fact have earned its stripes possibly with battle scars that cannot be concealed or hidden from the world, unfortunate circumstances and unsupported witnesses , and no advocate in sight but your own true knowing being the only witness to your heart and believing that god must know your truest self and he dwells with you never and leaves you right? and is eagerly awaiting for you to reclaim your own power back, stamina, strength, fearlessness, bravery, Indeed ready for your return and communication with the universe again and prepare to walk among-st the land of the living like you have for 33 years and never foresaw a force so strong that it took you out of society for 365 days lol but this is just hypothetical guesstimates you hit a concrete wall at full speed not once but twice. ” Alice Cooper” NO more Mr.Nice guy sums up your current feelings towards others. viewed by those as unstable, unpredictable ,untrustworthy ,dangerous, a potential loose cannon ,24 hour surveillance and consistent monitoring is how your closest contacts see you its hilarious but heart breaking and took a minute to shake off the shock and distress when coming to understand that the events that took place are mentally wearing me out in all my inner defenses to stand my ground and state my complete awareness and control being fully aware that i am talking out loud lol not of normal behavior but being caught at two in the morning talking to the sky highly qualifies for such dramatized thoughts and feelings i hope anyone no matter what the emotional or physiological pain may be in affliction to has the understanding and can be grateful and see them selves as blessed for having at least one person in their life who they can talk to, vent to, without fear of judgement who is spiritually connected in understanding. being able to relate and offer compassion, defense, protection, advocate for if ever found in an undesirable situation where it helps to have someone who always has your back and believes in you. sense of safety at least one person who the fear of judgement doesn’t plague you. being in a position where you have to be your own advocate is tough .its a tough defense i just pray daily seeking god seeking those of like minded faith sand seeking each other . I had a very recent experience with the power of mind getting too far away from me it has been devastating. and i have felt a new level of hopelessness and despair in my depressional darkness that seems everlasting battling since early childhood excitement and the possibility of believing that anything is possible for one who believes took me to the highest skies and heart warming awe and shock that the power of the lord could in fact be that magical and it would be a sin to keep the adversary in the forefront of the mind being quick to be a skeptic naysayer nonbeliever denying the lord of his so called mighty power that he promised to Jeremiah in the book of Ezekiel how he has the power to ,make these things he promised possible and to connect to the oneness which ive felt it i have reached a higher vibration not in the lower states of consciousnesses e trying to understand what i was to learn from all of this how to overcome and heal the new afflictions of my soul. pain retching soul devastation., feeling so close, so connected, saved , safe, fearless, relief, shock, blessed, lucky, gifted, loved, etc etc such high emotions with states of pure ecstasy, never felt that close to a high power ever, didn’t think it could be dreamed let alone deemed possible, even in the most sinister way being capable of producing that much joy, whether the intent or lesson was to be decieving hell i didn’t know the sober mind i mean stone cold sober neither drink nor drug induced state of ecstasy could be reached anyway time to wrap this up… thank you….. good luck in the year of the rat
I’m on the same path of this topic plz I’m seeking your help because I end up loosing everything in life
This topic kinda touched a nerve I seems to be my favorite word looking at myself honestly is difficult going to continue with self-love work knowing more work is needed
When there’s a nerve that’s touched, there’s enough rawness to heal it in a healthy way. I’m glad you found the article useful Terrilyn :)
Spiritual Egotism or narcissism is a new concept to me. However, it explains 100% why I loathe so-called “spiritual people” and why I’ve always found it extremely uncomfortable to be in their presence. Thanks.
I believe Im in the long path now, I’ve been here for years.
Its so confussing, because I know that I never used to be this nasty person to eveyone around me.
I’ve been through life isnt worth it anymore, I hate getting up, hate being around certain people and tried to end my life a few times years ago.
I’ve moved on from that since i have 3 beautiful children that I can’t even handle anymore, i know it sounds terrible but thats just how it it.
Its like I’m aggitated just about every day I feel like this.
I hate being like this, my partner tells me all the time to snap out of it. Finally now that I know what it is, I can be on the verge of trying to fix it!!!! The question for you is HOW?? I ABSOLUTELY HATE BEING TRAPPED FROM MY OWN HAPPINESS!!! I want to be in conrol of my life again..
Not only I want to be happy again, but my children and my partner deserve someone to spoil them with love!!!
Yes totally understand and agree with you on the this like listening to myself
@Loolaa, Hey there, it sounds like your thoughts might be a good place to start. It is difficult, and will take time and effort and consistency, but it is possible. You may be blocking your own happiness because face it, thoughts can be very powerful and self fulfilling prophesies. The word hate is a very strong word. When I was little, I would tell my grandfather that I hated this or that, and he would respond the same way each time, “You don’t hate.” Perhaps take time to reflect and speak words of gratitude, being thankful for the good things that you have, every day. Even the things that we don’t really appreciate are lessons in some way, so we can feel gratitude for them as well, even if it’s not so pleasant. Take time to observe natural beauty in the world. You might see certain things every day and get used to them, but even those things shouldn’t be taken for granted. If you take small steps each day, by changing the way you look at things, you might start to feel better. I wish you peace, love, and harmony.
hello again family
i would like add to my last comment. i know i drag myself down with all the bs that i say and think. my wife ended up divorcing me as i was pretty messed up. the harsh reality of living in my world through my eyes is……. i can’t make any sense out
of the rubbish that goes on in my mind. i remember some nights where i simply just cry and think ” is living really worth it ?” i feel so……. lost and i am truly sad and just broken. i just need to cry…… you know what i mean ? it really hurts……….
my heart hurts really bad. i feel so……. disconnected from the source or god or spirit. i don’t know what to call him/her or it. i have fallen so hard :'(
i don’t know what to write any more. sorry everyone :'(
hold onto hope luke. don’t lose hope yet. just pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off and keep on trying and never give in, never say die. i can do this and i will. jim carrey said that faith gives you the ability to leap over the fire and hope will only drag you through the fire. faith is important yes…….. but why not hold onto hope and be transformed and reborn within the fire. just like a fiery phoenix rising from the ashes of the eternal flame. rebirth and renewal, spreading its wings and taking flight. any way…… sorry again
take care, be safe and many blessings and much love to you all
from Luke
p.s. ” small things become great when done with love ” <3
Greetings again Loner Wolf Family
Sadly, I did fall into this trap of the spiritual ego. Thinking to myself… ” I am so special and divine ” and also ….. ” I’ve ascended to a whole new level of awareness ”
like wtf is that thinking all about ? Yeah. I know all too well about my messed up mind and the way it thinks. What is real spirituality any way ? I wouldn’t have a clue
and in all honesty…… my life is a total mess. No job, No longer living with my wife and kids, No house, No car etc….. My mind has become a battlefield and I have basically become my own worst enemy. The continuing thoughts of taking my own life plagues my thinking every day now. I try to understand it all……. but I just can’t seem to make any sense out of walking my so-called spiritual path. All the delusional ideas and thinking in my mind….. feeling very special and important…..
feeling and thinking that I am “chosen of God” and thinking I am on some sort of important spiritual mission from the divine. Like Oh Em Gee !!!! I see how the
spiritual ego works now. This is me being honest okay. I do admit my weaknesses and my many mistakes and my many bad and selfish choices. An egotistical so-called spiritual man ? Yep…… I will say that is basically how my mind thinks now
Nice article Sol Lots of Love to you and Luna and the family too
From Luke <3
This is soo true. I’ve been going through this situation. I never knew its dangerous. I’m just fed up with my life. I can’t live with my expectations. Everything is just opposite to my wish. I wonder why this is happening to me. All are living their way of life. But I can’t have such happiness
Thank you for sharing your experience Anithaed. Perhaps its time to drop the expectations you may have of yourself and others. I’ve found that as a general rule, all growth comes with a process of ‘destruction’, or braking away the old to make way for the new. Often those who you describe as happy have either already gone through it, or a static and stagnant in their growth (ignorance is bliss as they say).