There is a certain mysterious, holy, and incandescent flame that burns at the center of every religion, spiritual path, and philosophy … and that is mysticism.
From Buddhism and Hinduism to Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Taoism (and more), mysticism is the golden thread that connects all these religions together, despite how different each path’s dogmas may look on the surface.
For those who identify as ‘spiritual but not religious,’ mysticism is also at the heart of the spiritual journey for it is the very heart, lifeblood, and impulse we carry within to connect with the Divine.

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Indeed, mysticism is at the very root of the spiritual awakening journey. Without mysticism, our lives feel dull, empty, directionless, and meaningless because there is no deeper impulse, no higher purpose.
However, when we awaken our inner mystic, we find joy, play, vibrancy, truth, love, peace, and freedom again. Connecting with our inner mystic and walking the mystical path, therefore is not just our basic human right, but our saving grace.
We’re living in a world now that is so divorced from mysticism – from the sacred, numinous, and holy – that we’re reaching record numbers of cases of what I call ‘Soul sickness’ or Soul Loss.
Soul Loss manifests as loneliness, depression, anxiety, paranoia, warmongering, chronic illnesses, violence of all kinds, and the desecration of our planet, our sacred Mother.
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To reclaim your inner mystic is a radical act of love; one that is contrary to the savage consumerism, reductionistic scientism, and cold materialism that is running rampant in our world today.
To be a mystic in this day and age is to be a rebel: to side with love, not hatred; to honor peace, not war; to live from the Soul, not from the mind.
P.S. You can also listen to this article in audio format below:
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Table of contents
What is a Mystic?
A mystic is a person who seeks to awaken, glimpse, and reclaim the innate spiritual Oneness at the core of their being. In other words, a mystic is a spiritual seeker who is driven to surrender their ego and orients their whole lives toward deeply integrating the primordial truth that they are an inseparable part of the Divine.
‘Mysticism,’ a word that became popular in the 18th century, stems from the Greek word mustēs which refers to someone who has been ‘initiated into the mysteries.’ But mysticism itself has been around since the dawn of time.
Some of the more famous mystics throughout history include Lao Tze, Gurdjieff, Pythagoras, Guatama Buddha, Julian of Norwich, Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi, St. Teresa of Avila, Ramana Maharshi, Dante, Saint John of the Cross, Anandamayi Ma, Jesus Christ, Carl Jung, and so many more.
There are numerous definitions of what a mystic is out there. But one that resonates strongly comes from author and translator of mystics, Mirabai Starr, who writes:
The way of the mystic is the way of surrender, of dying to the false self to be reborn as the true Self, the God Self, the radiant, divine being we actually are. It’s not that the old self—the personality, the ego, the stories we tell about our lives—is bad or wrong. It’s that when we recognise the essential emptiness of our individual identity in light of the glorious gift of our interconnectedness with the One, independence becomes much less compelling.
9 Signs of the Mystical Experience
At some point in life, the majority of us are bound to have at least one mystical experience. Such tastes of Self-Realization or what the Buddhists call ‘satori,’ can be so vivid and so acute, that they change our lives forever.
But how can we know whether we’ve had one or not?
One place we can look is within the work of W. T. Stace, a philosopher of religion, who defined the seven characteristics of mystical experiences in the following way:
- Unitary consciousness (i.e., the experience of Oneness)
- Nonspatial, nontemporal awareness (i.e., timelessness and spacelessness)
- Sense of reality and objectivity (i.e., there is an unquestionable ‘realness’ to the experience – it’s not a mere hallucination)
- Blessedness and peace
- Feelings of the holy, sacred, or divine
- Paradoxicality (i.e., there is a realization of the Unity and interdependence of opposites, also known as non-dual awareness)
- Ineffability (or the inability to put into words the experience; it is unfathomably paradigm-shifting)
W. N. Pahnke, a physician and psychiatrist, in his assessment of the above characteristics, added two more: (8) transiency and (9) subsequent life improvement. In other words, the mystical experience might be temporary, but it creates deep positive ripple effects in our lives.
If you’d like to find out whether you’ve had a mystical experience or not, see our article entitled 9 Signs You’ve Had a Mystical Experience.
Stages of the Mystical Journey
So much has been shared about mysticism through the ages. But one theologian and author, Evelyn Underhill, managed to distill this wisdom into five stages of the mystical journey in her 1911 classic, “Mysticism: A Study in the Nature and Development of Spiritual Consciousness.”
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Here are the stages that Underhill defined:
- Awakening
Spiritual awakening can be understood as that sudden spark or dawning discovery that there’s more to life than meets the eye. In the awakening stage, we begin to ask deeper questions about life and go in search of answers. The result of this soul searching is that we must become lone wolves, distancing ourselves from our previous way of being and paving a totally new path for ourselves.
- Purgation
Purgation is a stage that involves becoming aware of all our shadows and inner blockages that obscure the Light of Consciousness within us. This is a difficult stage because, after the initial excitement of awakening or enlightening spark of Self-awareness, we recognize in the words of Jack Kornfield, “after the ecstasy, the laundry.”
Inner work is demanded at this stage of the mystical journey, and its sole purpose is to “purge” or dissolve everything standing in our way of mystical Unity and Oneness.
And yet, as laborious as the Purgation or inner work process can be, it is required to find the ‘hidden Jewel’ that is always and forever inside of us.
In the words of various mystics and sages, Purgation is necessary because it helps us to realize the following:
- … he and He become one entity. (Abulafia, Judaism)
- The Kingdom of Heaven is within you. (Christianity)
- Look within, you are the Buddha. (Buddhism)
- Atman (individual consciousness) and Brahman (universal consciousness) are one. (Hinduism)
- By understanding the Self all this universe is known. (The Upanishads)
- He who knows himself knows his Lord. (Mohammed, Islam)
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- Illumination
Once we have done a lot of deep work in the Purgation stage, we come to taste exhilarating moments of Illumination. For example, we might reach deep states of enlightened awareness within meditation, experience a sense of unification in nature, deep love for others and self, or even have a spontaneous moment of bliss.
However, the Illumination stage is short-lived and doesn’t mark a permanent shift in consciousness. The intense high of Illumination (also known as having an experience of ‘ego death‘) often leads to the intense low of the next stage:
- Dark Night of the Soul
The Dark Night of the Soul can be best depicted by a picture: that of a desolate wasteland where everything feels lifeless, meaningless, and devoid of the Divine.
Fourteenth-century Italian poet, writer, and mystic Dante Alighieri described the Dark Night perfectly in his epic poem “Inferno: The Divine Comedy”:
Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost.
Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say
What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,
Which in the very thought renews the fear.
So bitter is it, death is little more;
But of the good to treat, which there I found,
Speak will I of the other things I saw there.
St. John of the Cross, who coined the word ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ back in the 16th century (in his work titled by the same name), described why this stage happens:
No matter how much individuals do through their own efforts, they cannot actively purify themselves enough to be disposed in the least degree for the divine union of the perfection of love. God must take over and purge them in that fire that is dark for them.
As painful and wretched as this stage may be, it is just that, a stage. And it leads to the final part of the mystical journey:
5. Union
After one has experienced the death and rebirth within the Dark Night of the Soul – which we can see as a necessary (but painful) initiation – the final stage embodies all that the mystic has ever longed for: Divine Union.
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Union is the shift in awareness, the expansion of consciousness, the attainment of Nirvana, Enlightenment, Unity, Non-Dual awareness, and the “Kingdom of Heaven” that is so often written about in mystical literature.
Within Union, the mystic is no longer trapped in the limitations of the small, illusory ego-self, but recognizes – directly and permanently – the “I Am” or the God Self that has forever and always been there, yet was simply veiled.
Unlike the Illumination stage, Union is a total transformation and liberation, not a temporary glimpse into the Divine.
12 Signs of the Modern Mystic
While the external appearance of mystics has changed through the ages (e.g., from robe-wearing monks and nuns to fez-wearing Middle Eastern poets), the same essence applies to all mystics, no matter what race, religion, or time period they’re from.
Here are twelve signs of the ‘modern mystic’ based on my own years of experience (and research):
- You find it hard to fit in or belong in this world and crave to find some kind of “home”
- You feel dissatisfied with your life (no matter how much material success you experience)
- You feel aimless and lost, and yet feel called to create a meaningful change on this planet
- You feel disillusioned by various religious, self-help, and spiritual paths (aka. many of these paths feel superficial and not “deep enough” for you)
- You intensely crave a God/Divine-filled life
- You’ve undergone a Spiritual Awakening, Kundalini Awakening, and/or Dark Night of the Soul
- You feel everything intensely (as a highly sensitive person and/or empath)
- You crave solitude and enjoy introspection
- You’ve experienced spiritual crises of some sort (such as the quarter life crisis, existential crisis, Dark Night of the Soul, etc.)
- Ever since childhood, you’ve been a deep thinking and contemplative person
- You long to unite with something Greater than you and sense that the ego is a sham
- You’ve had transitory glimpses of Oneness, Illumination, or ‘Enlightenment’
At the heart of the modern mystic, and all mystics really, is the burning desire to reconnect with the Soul and unite with Spirit. Whether this deep spiritual thirst is fulfilled through religion or some other path is beside the point. As the quote goes by Zen Buddhist monk Ikkyū,
Many paths lead from the foot of the mountain, but at the peak, we all gaze at the single bright moon.
A Quick Word About Mysticism & Mental Illness
The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight.
– Joseph Campbell
The above quote from writer and mythologist Joseph Campbell perfectly highlights the fine line between mysticism and mental illness.
There’s a reason why inner work as an initiatory process (such as the cultivation of self-love, mental harmony through meditation, and physical groundedness through yoga) is needed. Without creating internal space, it’s easy to go from neurotic to psychotic when faced with experiences too big for the ego to handle.
For someone prone to intense anxiety, depression, or other mental imbalances, the sudden experience of the vast primordial space of Oneness can be too much to handle. The result may be total shut down of the psyche, intense disorganization in thoughts and feelings, nihilistic bouts of existential crisis, and other issues.
Whether mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and so on, are actually spiritual illnesses, is an entire debate itself that would require a whole book (or more) to examine.
But what we do know is that there is such a thing as a ‘spiritual emergency’ where someone who hasn’t gone through the rigors of spiritual practice, is dropped into the deep end too fast and too soon. And the result is what mainstream society immediately dismisses as “mental illness.”
How to Practice Mysticism
Mysticism can be found in almost any religious or spiritual path. But how do we ‘practice’ it?
The simplest way to orient yourself to the mystical roots of whatever tradition or path you’re in is to focus on not just connecting with, but rediscovering yourself as the Divine.
Be mindful that seeing yourself as God is not the same as spiritual narcissism which is an inflation of the ego that confuses itself as untouchable, unquestionably wise, and so on.
Mystics walk the radical path of burning through the ego so they can be liberated from the illusion of the separate self and become One with their True Nature, which is Life itself. This isn’t a path for the faint of heart!
While many people these days enjoy calling themselves “mystics” because it looks good on social media, true mysticism is a relentless pursuit of truth. It is a commitment to “die before you die and realize there is no death,” in the words of Eckhart Tolle.
Here are some simple paths for practicing mysticism:
- Spend a lot of time in nature – In nature, we can more easily rediscover our True Nature.
- Make space for solitude and silence – The noise of everyday life has a way of drowning out the inner Voice, so commit to regular solitude and silence (if even for half an hour a day).
- Contemplate the words of mystics – There is so much wisdom and truth to be gleaned from the life and experiences of the mystics, who knows what revelations their words may spark within you?
- Cultivate the qualities of the heart – Your heart is a direct doorway to your Soul and the mysteries of the Divine. Focus on generating qualities of compassion, joy, generosity, forgiveness, gratitude, and love.
- Less is more – Focusing on letting go and embracing simplicity helps you to become a ‘clear vessel’ in which the Light of Consciousness can shine through.
What other practices can you recommend?
Final Words
The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.
– Meister Eckhart
The above quote by medieval theologian and mystic Meister Eckhart perfectly summarizes all that it is to be a mystic: Oneness, deep knowing, and Love.
It was also Eckhart who said, “Theologians may quarrel, but the mystics of the world speak the same language.”
The fact that mysticism is so widespread (yet largely buried beneath rigid and fundamentalist dogma in our modern world) brings a sense of optimism, promise, and direction.
By reconnecting with our thirst for mysticism – both within and without, individually and collectively – we can rediscover a sense of harmony, joy, and peace that dwells at the very Center of all.
The reality is that to be human is to have an inextinguishable craving for mysticism. No matter how secular we are, we all have an inner impulse to connect with something Greater than ourselves – whether that be outer space, a football team, a nation, or going back to our primal roots, the Divine/God.
In the end, no matter how alienated, flawed, or in despair we are, the mystical path of spiritual awakening shows us that we’re not separate deep down. While our minds and egos may believe that we’re an island floating on the ocean of life, the mystic comes to eventually realize that they are not just the ocean, but Life itself.
To end with a quote from mystical Persian poet, Hafez:
I wish I could show you,
when you are lonely
or in darkness,
the astonishing Light
of your own Being!
What is your experience with mysticism? What is a mystic to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
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Every self assessment/quiz we complete provides another piece of our internal puzzle. Insight and connection into our purpose. I wish there was a way to keep all of this organized as we build upon the assessments, worksheets, journal prompts. Under our account – so we can see our growth and navigate forward. Thanks!
Hi Aletheia,
I came to this reading via 2 paths, your writing about Divine Reading today (excellent reading BTW) which then led to reading about prayer, which was also excellent and your feelings of prayer from past and how you look at it now REALLY resonates with me, thank you! Upon reading on prayer came to this link regarding Mystics. I don’t necessarily like to use labels, but in this 3D world, it is best way to explain how one is, feels, believes. I was raised Catholic, but as a youth and teenager, it did not resonate with me, I considered myself even at that time “a lone wolf.” And as I have read about “old souls” (ok, i know, another label) :) that’s what I have felt much of my last 39 years (I’m 49 now). After reading your entry on What is a Mystic, I wonder perhaps that is the “label” I can resonate with? I believe it is and I really appreciate your explanation of it. Towards the end of the reading, “Here are some simple paths for practicing mysticism”, there are 5 bullets you mentioned,
– spend a lot of time in nature
– make space for solitude and silence
– cultivate qualities of the heart
– less is more
– contemplate words of Mystics
since my spiritual awakening 3 years ago, which was brought on by Twin Flame (ok, ANOTHER LABEL) experience, I have been in those states, particularly after DNOTS, except “contemplate words of Mystics as I didn’t even know the term, what it was until recently this last year. I have been doing a lot more reading “divine reading” over last few years and again, didnt even realize based on books i was reading, but it was Divine Reading! Again with labels I just feel “IAm what IAm and that’s all that IAm” (ok quote from Popeye character from when I was a kid, I know it’s silly, but this is just how I feel), BUT I do feel perhaps I do fall into the Mystics realm. For me I don’t necessarily need the label, but your writings have helped me to put into context how I feel in 3D world so if I need to explain to anyone how IAm in a way he/she can understand, this would be it. SO I want to THANK YOU and Mateo’s writings and this website!!!! I discovered you during my DNOTS searching for fellow “Lone Wolves”. Your site, writings and others I have found along the way have helped me through this amazing awakening experience which is ongoing and quite transformative. Peace and Love to you both
In addition the the Mystics and Sages quoted, there is my favorite, The Tao te Ching #33:
Who knows others is perceptive
who knows himself is wise
who conquers others is forceful
who conquers himself is strong
That’s also a favorite entry of mine from the Tao Te Ching, thank you Michael for sharing it! :)
In most of my life I’ve experienced most Mysticism in nature itself. I remember as I child (even though my childhood was also not really perfect) I could sit almost forever out in nature (mostly in spring and summer when everything is fully alive and colourful), often forgetting time and space, and just be. Taking it all in, feeling that mysterious magic and connectedness and just being present with it all. And how much I miss being able to again… And how much I miss the ocean also.
My life’s been, since childhood (as for most of us),quite messy, and external complications etc has left quite deep scars, and the experience with that mysticism and magic is so rare nowadays for me. Been dealing with Soul Loss, a seemingly never-ending Dark Night of the Soul that seem to vary in strength (sometimes its mild, sometimes its severe) and then also situational and existential depression caused by outside factors, and then other stuff. I’ve got so many broken pieces of me within me to put togheter, so much to purge and heal. I often try to seek solace in nature but so far I haven’t experienced that true mysticism and magic as I did as a child.
And then the longing and yearning for the connection of the world, universe and the divine itself, alongside with the longing for a re-connection and reunion with myself again (lost myself completely), with my true self and also finding out who I really am.
But those few and rare, very short glimpses, of mysticism etc there is in my life today I treasure. I’ve also felt them whenever listening to/practicing music and any other creativity. But those mystical moments in those are so few nowadays, and then everything else. But I keep on trying and I’m so happy summertimes are nearing more and more, because I realise more and more how much I also need nature etc to heal. And I’m also grateful for those magical and mystical moments with creatures of nature also, like animals and insects and then everything else, my family etc.
And I’m also so grateful that although there’s the internal chaos within me after everything that’s happened plus that stuff hasn’t completely calmed down yet, I’m at least in a much better place/enviroment than before, I just haven’t managed to ground and re-root myself yet. And then all the other stuff, like the broken pieces and my inner-shadows etc etc to heal. Although I’ve got so much work to do, and stuff to learn and realize, I do see things a little more clearly nowadays, and for that I’m thankful for.
And also, the part where you wrote about mystics always and relentlessly searching for the truth, I relate to so much. In my whole life, and I still do and forever will, I’ve always been searching restlessly for the truth in almost everything. I dunno exactly what it is, or why it is, but that’s how it is.
But thank you so much for this article with both interesting and useful information, alongside with all advice on following this road!
I understand how you feel. Reading your message seemed as I wrote myself. We’re on a grand journey to find ourselves. Bumpy road here and there but so worth it. I pray that you find your answers. I pray that your journey gives you love and peace. God bless u!!
When I began the road of a mystic I was so elated to discover what I was experiencing. I wanted to share so much of my newness that I made one mistake right after another and hurt badly. My family and friends rejected me. I have always been different. I played tenor sax in our family band, female, and played in those sinful night clubs. My Dad had a heart attack and had to quit construction work. In order to exist we were all talented and the family band was formed. We were avid church goers, my Dad was a recovered alcoholic but playing around alcohol didn’t bother him at all. Preachers condemned us. My mom asked one preacher if the church was going to keep us up…well, of course not. Those old “sinful” night club people passed the “hat” and gave me 50.00 for my birthday. The church passed the hat for tithes. I went professional and required to join the union, our whole band were in order to play at clubs. I was sixteen. Anyway, we played music on weekends and went to church on Sunday. I got to despise preachers. My first encounter was when I was six years old. My mother came from the Appalachian Mts. She was reared an orphan with only a 6 grade education. This one, Preacher came to our house to collect my Grandmother, who was to0 ill to go to church tithes’ and to tell my mother that since his wife had graduated from the Baptist Institute was better qualified to teach the “Kindergarten” class than mother was. My dad told him were to go in very plain language. Mother cried, and I went outside and kicked rocks thinking about that mean old man that hurt my mother. We left the Baptist Church, and became Methodist. They sprinkled people with water instead of trying to drown them in the bath tub. My Dad played piano in the American Legion for wrestling matches before the family band came about. Well, this Methodist, Preacher found out about Dad’s “sinful” ways, and made up a bunch of prayer cards that stated, “Pray for Mickey Cochran, daily”. The song leader told Dad about the preacher passing out prayer cards bringing Dad close to the Lord. This particular Sunday after service and everyone but us had left the church, Dad confronted the preacher. Dad wanted to know why didn’t Bro. Smith, tell him about these cards instead of speaking with him personally about it. After much spluttering, dad told this preacher, that he thought he needed to get a different profession, unless he wanted to spend a month of Sunday’s picking prayer cards out of his ass”! We became Pentecostal! Dad dipped snuff, and kept a can in his upper shirt pocket. This preacher and his wife loved music. Dad could play anything so he played piano for this church and the preacher and his wife sang. Dad was in heaven he was so delighted to find his niche. One Sunday a quartet was coming from Missouri to entertain, at homecoming. The “preacher” saw Dad’s snuff can and told him he needed to put that away with those high and mighty quartets coming to visit. Dad blew a cork out of the bottle, and told this preacher he wouldn’t be a GD…hypocrite for anybody. We gathered up our equipment and came home. By then I had announced to the family I was an Atheist, and wrote a 13 page of why. I never tried the Catholics, but by then I felt I was as good as the Pope and didn’t need him telling me what to do and not do, and I would do my own praying to God as I couldn’t see any sense in ganging up on God…everyone’s God was different. Later, I made the decision to not be an Atheist that my issues was due to playing in those “sinful nightclubs”. I set out on my own to give up my sax, get my own apartment, and go to church. I wasn’t happy being an Atheist anymore. I wanted to know more about “God.” I didn’t know how to do anything but play music and couldn’t find a job. Dad and family had retired by this time. I got in contact with a man I had played music for and he came after me and I was to be a cocktail waitress. I didn’t know one drink from another….he picked me up and before we got to the place I could work at he raped me. I decided I would do as he wanted to have a job. I still wanted to know God. My landlady invited me to church with her. I was elated, and we went for a breakfast at church. We were seated in front of a man, his wife, and two little boys. This man was the same man who had pinched my butt the night before wanting me to go out with him. He thought I was a whore. I had told him I was not like that, and here he sat before me!!! My view of God was of the preaching I heard as a child. God was to be feared, and he devoured all sinners. Mother would take me crackers to eat so I wouldn’t get hungry during the long winded preaching I endured. I asked my grandmother what devour meant, and I hid my crackers beneath my dress scared God was going to eat my crackers. Then I had the horrible feeling he was going to eat my parents if they didn’t obey him. I hoped they obeyed him whatever that was…I apologize for this lengthy treatise. Now mysticism: In 1974 I was hospitalized with appendicitis…I was married to a Vietnam Vet and I didn’t know about PTSD, he had quit his job that a Sunday school teacher had got for him. He made Ron promise to never quit as he had stuck his neck out for him. Ron was not given the job he was promised but worked in a dark, no windows, nasty place that caused him to turn the sheets dark gray when he sweated. He tried but couldn’t function like he was trying to do. He quit but didn’t tell the Sunday school teacher as he was hoping he could find a way to keep doing the job. The Sunday school teacher called me and asked if Ron had quit, I told him I didn’t know for sure. He bawled me out and tore my nerves all to pieces. I took all of that inside me and it fell on my weakest part. I refused to be hospitalized but the doctor told me I would not make it back to the hospital if I didn’t get the operation. He agreed to operate on me whether we had insurance or not. I didn’t get put completely under during the surgery. I saw a bright light above me which I thought was the sun…(operating light). I became frightened as I saw all these colors and felt as though I was flying across a desert. I was so thirsty. I saw the icon of Christ hanging on the cross. I remembered the part in the Bible where he said: I thirst. I knew I was thirsty and said, “My God where are you”? I heard a voice deep inside my chest say, “I am with you”! I was shocked and thrilled at the same time. Then the thought came to me, if I was not dreaming when I woke up I would have a yellow belly as I had this yellow stomach, then I knew I hadn’t heard the voice through my ears but deep inside of me. I could see the operating team surrounding me, and passed out. When I come to the first thing I thought was to look and see if I had a yellow belly, it was there, it had been painted yellow with betadine for surgery. I asked Jesus to heal me because I couldn’t have a long stay in the hospital since we didn’t have much money. I was able to come home in three days which usually was a stay back then for a week. An odd thing was from that time on I couldn’t wear a wind up watch. I later in years I had a brain scan and it was very unusual, more for a man than a woman. I had stopped the black and white picture playing with the thing with my mind. Then I had no more experiences until 1988. I had felt restless and decided to play on my keyboard, and do a fill in with my sax, and make a tape of it. I couldn’t get inspired. I started to write a song, but nothing would come to me. A thought come to me to sing as though I was portraying an actress from a foreign country. I had wanted to do scat like Ella Fitzgerald but never could. So I decided to try it to the music by the Ventures…Harlem Nocturne. I put on the record and began to sing do bop de do stuff, but instead this strange language came pouring out of me. When the record quit I decided to play back what I had done. I was thinking, WOW, I did THAT!!! Suddenly I burst out into tears…I found myself in WWII, Vietnam War…I realized I was identifying with the pain and suffering of the Universe. Later I sent a recording to my College at Murray State language Dept. They come back to me and said they couldn’t interpret it, but it sounded ancient, possibly from the middle east. Later, I woke up at 3:00 setting straight up in bed with my fist raised above me head screaming, Kali Kali Kali! I wondered what a Kali was, and eventually discovered it was the name of a Goddess. Also, one morning about the same time I was drawn to look out the sliding glass door and look up. I saw the most beautiful star I had ever seen in my life. Tears of joy filled my eyes. I told my husband about it and he said a star is just an old dead planet. I felt deflated. We began to drift apart. My next discovery was I could change the prepositions in the Bible and get a total different way of thinking about what was truly meant. For example: The Bible is not the Book of Life but the Book about life. Jesus didn’t die on the cross for our sins, but “because” of sins…the priest, Sanhedrin, Pharisees, government and politics is what killed Christ. Well, that sent the traditionalist read to tar and feather me. My Mother-in-law told me we were going to grow alright but in separate ways. This happened. My Sister-in-law was on her death bed and wouldn’t even look at me as she was passing on, because she thought I was of the devil. It all hurt me so badly. A preacher was scared of me and wouldn’t even let me in his house. I got to where I could predict things. I use to like a gospel show on TV on Sunday morning. I knew where the preacher was going to preach from. I was dismayed to find the show had a darkness about it and some other preacher was giving the service instead. The preacher kept losing his place in the Bible and it finally fell from his hands, and he snapped hatefully, “Why does this Bible keep falling open to Corinthians”? I yelled at the TV, “Because that is where you are suppose to be at you sorry SOB”! sigh…He was promoting that money was a need…but the way he was putting it he was sowing seeds of “Greed” instead. I sent my sentiments to the TV station but never got a reply. I have had experiences with Angels but I was always leery of it being a figment of my imagination. One time my first husband who was an abuser got high on drugs and had his mother’s little dog on the kitchen counter giggling and fixing to cut its head off with a butcher knife. I ran over and grabbed the little dog with my hands and ran toward the dining room door. As I started through the door way I heard a thud! A voice told me to slam the door shut. I did and that is when my ex-husband threw the knife which would have gone into my back and more than likely would have killed me. I began seeing angels anew after that. I use to ask where was my angel out to lunch! A “friend” of mine’s husband had to have a dangerous brain surgery un-expected to live. During his surgery I saw a group of light bearing angels surrounding him lying on the surgery table. They didn’t have wings but rays of lights coming from their back resembling wings. I told Danna her husband was going to be okay, and told her what I had seen plus a star over a doorway across from the pool. That scared her so bad she made other people set beside her and surround her so I couldn’t sit beside her. I went into the bathroom and cried and cried. It wasn’t long after that I was in the shower and began crying and asked God to remove my blessings since I couldn’t use them. I didn’t want them anymore. A SAD MISTAKE! I felt them leave me. I haven’t been like this since. Another event was when I was standing in the kitchen fixing lunch when I heard a voice say, ” Don’t blame yourself, Mary!” What the heck was that about, my name is Levon??? Also I have experienced Kundalina. I got real hot up to my waist from my back, and had a strong sexual urge. I never knew what a mystic was as I thought they were someone who smoked whacky-tobacky and had hallucinations. I had a Witch to contact me and I just knew the Devil was after me. My curiosity got the better of me …I loved Witch Craft, being with nature, and not believing in a Devil. I have studied lots of different religions, so I am not as ignorant as I use to be, but still have lots of room for improvement. Guess this pretty well lets you know who I am for now……Thank you for your time.
As an eternal searcher of truth and after what seemed a lifetime of abuse and living with a closet full of masks, I went within and began facing the shadow and finally underwent a kundalini awakening in my 40’s. I am still in the ascension process however with no guidance it has been a bit of a learn as you go but most important consult the “guru” within and I am a Christian. I knew there was more than temple worship of an external Being, rote ritual and dogma to spirituality. I have always felt it in nature which is where my fav church really is.
Some days I feel alone but your article finds a way of comforting me
Am going through a lot right now but thanks for these article
As someone who’s had treatment resistant depression for 13 years (and is only in their mid 20s) I feel like I’ve been in a Dark Night of the Soul for way longer than I ought to be. I also remember feeling many of these signs and symptoms from a very young age (such as being highly sensitive, having very philosophical thoughts for a young kid, questioning everything around me, and just never feeling like I belonged). I guess I wish I knew what to do from here. I just can’t escape this sadness, despair, lack of self-worth, and ultimately what I would describe as “soul pain”.
I’m sorry to hear that alone_r. One of the elements I’ve observed in some mystics is that there’s a natural pain that’s always been there, and it’s that very pain that drives them to this path.
It seems like it’s less about ‘escaping it’ and more about really going into it, realizing that beyond that pain, there’s some ‘Self’ experiencing the pain (hence the division of ‘pain’ and ‘experiencer’) that is unaffected by it.
Learning to shift our sense of being from one, to the other, is where the path lies (a hard path for sure, but not impossible.)
Thank you for replying Mateo! Your words were really insightful. I’ll take this to heart and mull it over a bit. It is indeed a hard path, and though the pain is sometimes unbearable, I know it’s not impossible since I’ve stuck around this long just knowing I have some kind of purpose in this life.
You absolutely have some kind of purpose in this life, we all do. I am 56y and am working on finding that purpose through healing, and loving myself, remembering who I was before the toxic, trauma, of relationships and life experience. Much love & Blessings.