Does Being An Introvert Make You Self Absorbed?

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introvert self-absorbed

We never like thinking about our faults, our flaws and our insufferable frailties as human beings.

How many of you actively ask the people around you: "well guys, what sucks about me today?" so that you have something to work on to better yourself as a human being?  Not many.

The truth is, we like running from the truth most of the time, especially when it involves us and our imperfect behaviors.

So if you're ever, ever lucky enough to have a person who cares about you so much that they're willing to tell you what stinks about you ... and deal with the ensuing crap from you, be thankful.  They just saved you years of self-annihilating discovery - they just presented the cold, raw and painful truth to you, so that you won't continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

I'm lucky enough to have one such person in my life, and as a level-headed objectively minded thinker, Sol put things pretty straightforward: "as an introvert, I think you tend to be self absorbed".  I'm paraphrasing of course, but the comment came after some thoughtless behavior I had carried out in the kitchen (possibly including eating another person's food absentmindedly and not offering to make anything else for them once discovered).  It's not much, but it made me curious and begin to question: are all introverts this way?

10 Signs of the Self Absorbed Person

How often do you as an introvert, make a mistake and sit dwelling on it and how bad you are ... instead of actually actively doing anything to change it?  How often do you notice yourself dwelling too narrowly on how you think and feel, compared to how others will think and feel?  And how often do you place your "me time" above the people around you?

Funnily enough, Google seems to think introverts have some kind of self absorption complex as well.  Type in "define: introvert" and one of the first results that comes up is:

"A shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person."

... not that I actually agree with that definition of introversion.

So, after doing a little research on self absorption, I came up with these signs, which may help clear the air.  (Note: like me, you probably aren't all of these.  But see how many you are, and let me know below!)

#1  You put your needs and wants before any other person.  

#2  You're overly subjective.  You fail to see the big picture and tend to focus too much on how you "feel" about things instead.

#3  You have an "entitlement" complex, and expect to gain things without putting in any work (basically reaping and now sowing).

#4  You don't embrace people who are different from you.  There is always some "bad guy" in your life, whether your mother, boss, sister or the overly gregarious extroverts you meet.

#5  Your conversations mostly end up focusing on you ... or else, you believe that most people you talk to are inconveniencing bores.

#6  You filter everything through "you" shaped glasses.  For instance, whenever you're expected to do something for others, you consider how this will personally affect you first.

#7  You're careless and don't consider the impact your behavior may have on others.

#8  You spend a lot of time dedicated solely to yourself and what you want to do.

#9  You tend to be excessively self-pitying.

#10  You make a drama out of the tiniest things which don't settle well with you (basically because you love the spotlight).


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What You Guys Said

Basically, the point of this article is to help you questions yourself.  So what's the general consensus on whether introverts are self absorbed or not, anyway?  I went to Facebook, Twitter and Yahoo Answers to find out.  Here's what you guys said, and as you can see, the opinion is as varied as a UN conference!

- No, it means you like your own thoughts so much that you don't busy yourself with others all the time to drown them out.  ~Introverts Unite (Facebook)

- Ironically, I can be an introvert cuz people that are "extroverts" trivially talk about themselves - that's boring to me.  ~ Toss (Yahoo! Answers UK)

- There are plenty of self-absorbed extroverts that would put your question to rest ... I guess the greater question for you then is what "self-absorbed" means to you. I tend to need research for clarity.  ~ Carol (Twitter)

- I don't think so. From my experience, extroverts are more than happy to talk about themselves. I've found it frustrating when I've had extrovert friends who suddenly disappear when I don't want to listen to their problems for once and need to talk about me.  ~  Jane  (Facebook)

- What does "self-absorbed" even mean? It sounds like some altruist buzzword to me, to attack people who aren't hopelessly dependent on other people to form their opinion. If that's what self-absorbed means, then I'll wear self-absorbed as a badge of honor.  ~  Nathaniel  (Facebook)

- Yes, but I don't see anything wrong with that. So many are absorbed by careers, children , bills, and all manner of things. Nothing wrong with being self absorbed, because when it's all said and done you came by yourself, you will leave by yourself, make peace with yourself.  ~  Kevin (Facebook)

- Yes somehow and not at all, it also make me more emphatic.  ~ Soile (Facebook)

- Maybe a little self-centered but not selfish.  ~ Sensitive INFJ (Twitter)

- I don't know, I think it depends on your definition of introvert, extrovert, and what it means to be self-absorbed. I think introverts might seem more self-absorbed because we tend to keep to ourselves and are always in our own head. on the other hand, extroverts may not seem self-absorbed because they are always in everybody's business but just because they are talking with other people doesn't mean they are more open or appreciative of others.  ~ Grim (Yahoo! Answers USA)

So ... what are your own conclusions?  Let me know below!

Photo by: Angelo de Mesa

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  • Kaminsky Árpy

    Very good blog, but I feel as if you’re a bit judgmental towards introverts (like you and me, apparently). I think it needs to be stressed that current (American and Western) culture favors extroverts, in fact it was built by extroverts and it feels like a huge playground for extroverts.
    Natural born introverts have a hard time adjusting and avoiding ostracism, so we need some sort of compensation. The holidays can be especially stressful when you have an (invariably) extroverted extended family.
    So I think that as compensation, a degree of self-absorption is inevitable for us introverts. We need it as a buffer.

    (BTW it’s not me on the profile pic.)

    • Aletheia Luna

      Thank you for your input Kaminsky. This article is talking about ‘in general’, not just specified to the holiday season. I’ve found the question “does being an introvert make you self-absorbed” as it helps us reflect on the way the introverted person functions, that is, from within-to-without. At times this can be a recipe for self-absorption, but not always.

  • Chris

    I think they are not just self centered and selfish, but also narcissistic. They just think they are better than everyone else, and being around other people “exhausts” them only because while they are alone they can live in any kind of fantasy they want, and being around other people destroys that delusion. Have you ever met an introvert who doesn’t think highly of themselves? Even if they are really a jerk or even a loser, they still think they are superior to others, and they can maintain that fantasy if they simply avoid others, so they can avoid being reminded that they are just human, like the rest of us mere mortals.

    • Aletheia Luna

      I think you are making sweeping assumptions about introverts Chris, and boxing them all up into a “holier than thou” category. I’ve met many narcissistic and self-absorbed introverts, and perhaps they are more prone to these flaws, but I have also met many kind and selfless introverts. It all depends who you are exposed to, and what prior experiences you have had. So it sounds as though your experiences haven’t been that good.

      I’m an introvert, and I certainly don’t live in a fantasy world of my own making. But I do prefer to have time alone to recharge my energy, as that is a natural part of my biology: to be drained very easily by too much stimulation. Once you understand that not all introverts are high and mighty, but genuinely need alone time for their own health and well-being, your negative image of them will fade and be replaced by a more realistic one.

    • Trever Grissam

      I Have, learned that introverted and social fears/ shyness are two separate things.Scientifically speaking the body is in balance and able to recharge only when the mind is neither under of over stimulated.

      The less extroverted peoples brains just happen to work in a way where their natural thought process provides a larger portion of the needed stimulation (e.g.introspective thoughts and fantasy). Both display selfishness (often inadvertently from ignorance) they simply do it in different ways. It is simply import to be aware of and respectful of what other peoples needs.

      Introvert vs extrovert really is a spectrum though. Some minds might need more than the usual stimulus and such people are often called “ADD” My body keeps myself pretty stimulated (and I am very imaginative), yet I also need way to much stimulus outside myself to be an introvert.

      This makes me an extrovert that share some but not all of the internal qualities of an introvert. The moral of the story being, learning to communicate and to be respectful is most important thing we all need to work on.

      • Aletheia Luna

        Trever, to me most people are Ambiverted, with a bit of introvert and/or a bit of extrovert. It’s uncommon for anyone to be 100% introverted or extroverted as you point out, but the strange thing is that most of us tend to think in black and white and forget the grey “ambivert” area (perhaps because it isn’t that special, and we like to feel unique!)

        • Trever Grissam

          Maybe sounds valid enough. Though to me it seems to be a scale and people tend to stay pretty fixed on that scale but sometimes have to over compensate when there life puts them to far in one extreme in regards to social interaction. Few people are perfectly in the middle and most are not all the way to one extreme or the other (if any) however it is still possible to recognize if you are more intro or extroverted except in cases where it is to close to tell

    • Cam

      You seem to have some sort of problem with introverts. I’ve met plenty of grounded, selfless introverts who put other people before themselves. You should know that introversion doesn’t just deal with how much time you like to spend around people, it also deals with how you process information and react to different things. Many successful people were introverts, such as Ghandi and Einstein, whose theories and principles continue to shape how we think today and how we treat other people. Introverts, just like extroverts, have made significant contributions to society. Try to remember that they are people too and not generalize them into a narrow category.

      • Chris

        Whenever I meet an introvert who doesn’t think they are too good for this world, I’ll let you know.

        • Cam

          And whenever every single introvert I know suddenly turns into a narcissistic misanthrope, I’ll let you know as well.

          • Chris

            Haha! Where are all these kind, helpful introverts? When you never leave your house and are too good to be anyone’s friend, and are sooo sensitive that dealing with you is frustrating beyond words–how exactly can you possibly be kind and helpful?? See, none of you KNOW that you are narcissistic and self centered. You just excuse your anti-social tendencies as being somehow special. I mean, look at all the “how to deal with an introvert” things on the net–as if we all have to treat you people like special needs kids or something.

            It’s true that y’all certainly don’t act like adults. “Poor me, I can’t be around these mere mortals, they drain me”–well excuse the hell out of us! You think that everyone else isn’t exhausted by LIFE? It’s not just YOU, and not all of us like everyone we meet–but we suck it up and DEAL with it.

            Then there are all the assertions that you guys are so “deep, thoughtful, and more intelligent” than the rest of us. Seriously, you people are so full of yourselves. Your inability to be part of anything outside of your fantasy world doesn’t make you special or better than anyone else. Get that through your delusional little heads. You are just average, ordinary people who don’t like anyone, so you make it a chore to be your friend. Believe me, any introvert I meet I will run from, because it’s nothing but a frustrating experience.

            • Aletheia Luna

              I think you are making sweeping assumptions about introverts Chris,
              and boxing them all up into a “holier than thou” category. I’ve met
              many narcissistic and self-absorbed introverts, and perhaps they are
              more prone to these flaws, but I have also met many kind and selfless
              introverts. It all depends who you are exposed to, and what prior
              experiences you have had. So it sounds as though your experiences
              haven’t been that good.

              I’m an introvert, and I certainly don’t live in a fantasy world of my own making. But I do prefer to have time alone to recharge my energy, as that is a natural part of my biology: to be drained very easily by too much stimulation. Once you understand that not all introverts are high and mighty, but genuinely need alone
              time for their own health and well-being, your negative image of them will fade and be replaced by a more realistic one.

            • Cam

              The way you speak makes you sound very bitter and intolerant. Unless you can get over that, then obviously you aren’t going to change your mind about anything. You don’t think it’s possible for extroverts to be selfish or narcissistic? That’s part of who you are, it has nothing to do with whether you’re an introvert or not. Unless you’re met every introvert to ever exist and know for a fact that they’re all selfish and narcissistic, you have no right to make such a sweeping and ridiculous assumption.

              It is true that people assume introverts are more intelligent, which they are not. Extroverts and introverts have the same ability to be intelligent. They interact with people in different ways. Introverts find that they are most helpful and productive when they are on their own, while extroverts find that they derive their energy from others. Never have I ever said that I’m “better” or “special” because I like spending more time by myself. If you think that this is the mindset of all introverts, then you are the delusional one.

              As an introvert, I can tell you that I have friends that I care for. Who said we are not average and ordinary?

              • Chris

                Everyone likes time on their own. A real introvert is one who studiously avoids friendships and relationships because they are “better” than those who try to be their friends. I like time on my own, not one of us can be around people ALL the time. Needing time alone doesn’t make you an introvert–being annoyed that people want to be friendly, and want to be your friend–that makes you an introvert. Even when I don’t feel like listening to friend’s problems, I still do, because I’m a good friend. An introvert will listen if they feel like it, and only when they feel like it. They make all the rules and everyone else just has to tiptoe around and not upset the introvert because they can’t handle life.

                • Cam

                  I guess we’ll have to disagree on the definition of introvert. A true introvert is simply one who is drained by too much stimulation, as Aletheia Luna said. Because of this, introverts may simply spend more time on their own. Extroverts and introverts gain energy in different ways. And that’s fine. That is no excuse for introverted people to be impolite, rude, or unhelpful.

                  Of course everyone needs alone time, just like everyone needs to spend some time with other people. Who said only introverts like solitude and only extroverts like spending time with other people? Both those things are important for everyone to do. There cannot be 100% on either end of the spectrum. Being annoyed by people and not wanting to be friends with anyone? That sounds like a narcissist and a misanthrope, not someone who is introverted. I have many introverted friends because I know I can count on them to be good listeners all the time, and a lot of the time, good advice givers too. But like I said, I don’t think you’re going to change your mind, and I’m not going to change mine, so we’ll have to agree to disagree.

                  • Aletheia Luna

                    A mature approach Cam, “agreeing to disagree” ;)

            • Victoria

              Stop putting words in people’s mouths. Your experiences are NOT everyone’s. I’ve never met an introvert who thought they were too good for the world, or too good to be my friend. If anything, it was just the opposite.

              All I’ve seen here is patient, tolerant people trying to explain to you while you spew nonsense about how no introvert can exist who is kind or helpful. Who is the one that isn’t acting like an adult here?

              I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who assumes I’m selfish and narcissistic because I say I’m introverted. Why is that so surprising? You’ve obviously had some bad experiences, but you can’t judge a whole group of people based on them.

              • Chris

                You guys just have a hard time admitting your flaws. It’s not surprising.

                • Victoria

                  I do hope you realize that not everyone who’s around people all the time is necessarily helpful. I’ve met plenty of people who went out a lot and talk to many people but were still hateful and very unwilling to help when it was needed, only wanting everyone’s attention on them. It goes both ways.

                  It’s not as if people who are introverted NEVER go outside or interact with anybody. Someone like that can never exist. They would drive themselves insane. People who don’t spend a lot of time with others are still able to donate considerable amounts of money or supplies to charities, and I love volunteer work that involves making/things for people, or stuffing stockings. In addition to that, I still like meeting new people and helping them directly when I can. I have no particular aversion to doing so. Unless you’ve somehow solved all of the world’s problems, quit assuming you know who can or cannot be helpful. People help if they want to, if they care for other people. Whether you are more gregarious or introspective has nothing to do with it.

                  I also hope you realize that “introvert” is a personality type that nearly a third of the world classifies themselves as. There are a LOT of different people who would call themselves introverts. Stop acting as if you’re talking about a small group of people whom you know very well.

                  Not admitting to flaws? I think I know my own flaws better than you do.

              • Chris

                And please, tell me, how are they so kind and helpful while shut in to their homes? If they never see people, well then they can’t really help much can they? If they don’t talk to people, how exactly can they know how to help?

  • Trever Grissam

    Extroverts such as myself tend to appreciate people, however this stems from our additional need for interactions to maintain our energy and our mood on top of the normal human desire to belong. I find myself withdrawing myself from my friends that seem to be mostly introverts in attempt to respect there apparent annoyance/ exhaustion of to much interaction though that often leaves me quite lonely and lacking any sort of recharge.

    However I also tend to be very introspective as well, since I love to learn and improve. I do talk about myself quite a bit, though its is normally in hopes that the person I am talking to will take the opportunity to compare and contrast themselves with that in the conversation. OR it might spark them to share there own experience. I want to both be known and know the other person, .

    love dynamic interactions though when someone is upset I just want to listen when I can get them going. The stuff other than myself I know enough about to talk when others seem to have nothing to say tends to exhaust people. EG Philosophy, economics, politics, computers, religion, and history. My knowledge of these things is simply because they fascinate me enough to continually study them, but I tend to stick to sharing experiences.

    • Aletheia Luna

      Thanks for sharing your perspectives as an extrovert Trever. :) They are very valuable to this audience. You sound as though you might hover close to the middle of the introvert-extrovert spectrum, sharing the traits of an ambivert (both introverted and extroverted qualities, with perhaps a few more of the latter). I always used to wonder why extroverted people seemed to talk about themselves a lot, but now I can see that it is a way to try to get the other person to open up about themselves as well, in a mutual sort of exchange. This makes sense to me, although it does not come naturally to me (I’m a listener more than a talker!)

      • Trever Grissam

        No problem. I love sharing :D

  • Arcane

    5 and 8.

    Although, I have reasons.

    8 is a good thing. I do a lot of things for myself. You know what’s bad? Not caring about others and feeling that way all the time. I spend a lot of time by myself but I’m not hurting anyone.

    5… I don’t know if I can justify that. A lot of people I meet on a day-to-day basis are bores. It seems as if they’re robots programmed to say “Hello, how is the weather?” and “Hobbies? Well, I go home everyday and watch a movie and fall asleep then I go to school/work. Is that what you mean?” (Yes.. That is admittedly the life of more than a couple of people I have met)

    Plus, I love talking about myself. I’m pretty interesting.

    • Aletheia Luna

      “Plus, I love talking about myself. I’m pretty interesting.” Haha, if only we could all be that self-confident. But I know what you mean. People do tend to be bores, but a part of me knows that there is a little weirdness in everyone, most people just lock it away and share with you the banal and straight-forward until they can trust you. I also love to ask people ‘what attracted you to what you do’ (e.g. choice of study, career, job), and the answers are usually unexpected.

      • Arcane

        Haha. I completely agree. Thanks for the conversation starter.

        I think a lot of people might be conceived as bores because they don’t want to be seen as weird, different, or perhaps they’re shy and are scared people won’t accept them.

        I don’t know why people try to fit in. I embrace being weird. I try to tell others it’s ok to be weird, and to let their individuality show (as you said)

        • Aletheia Luna

          Yes, it’s a pity … mostly because of what society and our upbringings told us: to be good, to be smart and to fit in. Any kind of weirdness is perceived to break the social structure and hierarchy. Shame that people don’t have enough trust in themselves and their own self-worth to embrace eccentricity.


  • Kimberly

    That’s me in every way….. How do I change??

    • Aletheia Luna

      Change doesn’t come immediately like an explosion, although it is good now that you are aware of it! I’d say look at the 10 signs above and figure out which one applies to you the most. From there, you can focus on that one element of yourself which you would like to change. Small steps are much easier than big ones as you will give yourself time to adjust to the ‘new you’.

  • Patti

    Oh my!! I can see several of those in myself. Thank you for this, I am working on changing these very things right now. My eyes are opening through personal experiences going on right now.
    But all of that aside, I believe that everyone on this planet is self absorbed whether they are introvert or extrovert. I think the only difference between an introvert and an extrovert is the way they cover the pain and heartbreaks of life. We all need to learn to be less self absorbed and more caring for others and the world around us. And let go of the pain and struggles of the lessons we choose and look at what we can learn from those lessons. Not an easy task sometimes.

    Don’t know that I conveyed the message I wanted to but I tried.

    • Aletheia Luna

      Patti, I believe you make a very good point: everyone, no matter what personality type on this earth, exhibits some level of self-absorbedness. But it’s wonderful to hear that you are aware of these elements of yourself, and are actively working to better yourself. I admire that. Like you, I’ve struggled as well, particularly with thinking about everything in terms of how it will ultimately affect me … that’s a big one! It’s comforting to know that there are others on the same rocky path of self-discovery and growth.

      Success to you!


  • Lissa

    I’ve gotta say that the Extroverted people in my life are far more Self Centered. Several of my friends prefer that I am introvert and don’t talk much, so they can unload and I’m a great listener.

    • Aletheia Luna

      I’ve noticed that as well Lissa. Many extroverted people seem to simply wait for their turn to speak, rather than actually pay attention to what the other person is saying. I live with and interact with a few of them, so it can be quite irritating after a while interacting with a person who prefers listening to themselves 100% of the time.


    • Trever Grissam

      Sorry to here that, though I question if that is how they see themselves. I have learned how to eventually get people to tell me about there problems with great effort and thoughtfulness, however they are always surprised when I listen. Introverts often wind up telling me how they hear about so many people problems they don’t care anymore, or say “I want to help”

      Yet they tell me all the things wrong with the person and how they need to change while never telling the person who looked to them for confidence in the first place. upon observation I often think this person is agreeing with what the other person is saying till I see them talking with others. it confuses me but guess we all have our flaws.

      I think/hope they are well intention and don’t realize they do it, however I have seen peoples reputations messed up without them even knowing it :/ As an extrovert it is frustrating sometimes but I enjoy the opportunity to surprise people.

  • Hannah

    I’m an introvert and admittedly a bit self-absorbed. I believe this is partially due to my genetic temperament and partially due to growing up being an only child and home schooled. It’s hard to live as if the world doesn’t revolve around you when all throughout your childhood, your parents and grandparents acted like it did. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t spoiled per se. I didn’t get everything I wanted or get to be a brat without consequences. But I never had to share adult attention and rarely had to take other children into consideration.

    Now, I’m generally a “nice” person, not rude or loud or pushy. But I would much rather do things for myself, by myself than do things for other people. I like helping people, but if it’s going to interfere with my alone time and nobody is going to die, you can count me out. This is something I really don’t like about myself. In fact, I don’t like myself at all, inside or out. But I still spend tons of time thinking about myself and generally obsessing over myself, usually in negative ways. I’m sensitive, whiny, and prone to complaining. I’m lazy, I avoid doing anything hard and tend to pamper myself. Yet at the same time, my self-opinion is very low and I tend to feel incompetent, awkward, and ugly. I’m no narcissist.

    So this introvert is rather self-centered. But I would argue that not all introverts are like me, and there are plenty of very self-centered extroverts. Extroverts may SEEM more selfless, but sometimes this is a mask they use to get what they want. It just depends.

    • Hannah

      Oh, and #1, #3, #6, #8, and #9 are the descriptions that apply to me, at least to some degree. I’m kind of on the fence about #1 and #3.

      • Aletheia Luna

        It’s a mature move to confront these ugly sides of ourselves, and I congratulate you for that Hannah. Developing self-love in our lives actually requires selfishness, which is why the energy you are negatively directing at the moment can have powerful affects in your life if you take small steps to altering its path into a positive and constructive one. Without loving ourselves, we can never truly love other people. This is extremely important. Consciously deciding to internally evolve is something I refer to as Involution, which you may like to read about: Understanding where you stand will give you a better sense of direction to improve the quality of your life, and relationship with yourself.

        I appreciate your comment, and wish you the very best!


    • Ted Robinson

      That’s an interesting, insightful and honest post. I’m dating an introvert. I am wondering if she is self-absorbed. I like her a lot, but I am unsure if her need for alone-ness is compatible with my high-octane extroversion. It’s interesting that I’m finding that all of the introverts I’ve met are only children. I wonder if it’s simply the lack of some early basic socialization relationships that causes this or if it’s a natural occurance. I was previously married to an only child who I’m thinking now might be (have been) an introvert. I thought she was selfish and inflexible. She was a narcissist, however. Interesting stuff….

      • Kaminsky Árpy

        “I am unsure if her need for alone-ness is compatible with my high-octane extroversion”

        Obviously NOT. Been there, done that, but it’s not rocket science. I believe a high-octane person needs to find another high-octane one. Also, your suggestion that introversion might be a childhood pathology may mean that you fail to understand and tolerate introversion.

  • Sasha McDonald

    The most self absorbed people I’ve ever met have all been extroverts.

    • Aletheia Luna

      Hi Sasha,

      Depends what you define as “self-absorbed” as everyone seems to have a slightly different definition. Some of the most selfless people I have ever met (according to my own definition) were extroverts, while many of the most self-absorbed people I have ever met were introverts (primarily concerned with themselves, their own interests, their own needs).

      Thanks for your thoughts,


  • Richard

    Does being an introvert make one self absorbed? no. I understand being self absorbed as only caring about and focusing on yourself. I have been an introvert all my life, yet I often do my best to help others as much as I can because I feel it is the right thing to do.

    • Aletheia Luna

      Richard, I think it’s hard to generalize a group of people into one category or label. But certainly, there can be more of an occurrence of a certain trait or characteristic within a group of people; for example, German people tend to be very logical, spiritual people tend to be very non-linear minded.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts.


    • Chris

      How do you “do your best to help others” if you avoid them? That’s why introverts are selfish–they avoid other people so they don’t have to do anything–they don’t have to be polite, considerate, thoughtful, they don’t have to do anything for anyone else because they don’t expose themselves to any interactions with other people.

  • Indigo

    #1 You put your needs and wants before any other person.

    #2 You’re overly subjective. You fail to see the big picture and tend to focus too much on how you “feel” about things instead.

    #3 You have an “entitlement” complex, and expect to gain things without putting in any work (basically reaping and now sowing).

    #6 You filter everything through “you” shaped glasses. For instance, whenever you’re expected to do something for others, you consider how this will personally affect you first.

    #8 You spend a lot of time dedicated solely to yourself and what you want to do.

    I copied and pasted what seemed close to what I do or feel.
    But next is the bits that (for me) explains why I do this or that, or admits that this is something that does seem to crop up a bit that I need to keep an eye on so thank you for putting it down so I could read it thoroughly and question myself. :)

    1. I do this sometimes. I have to work on maintaining the balance between attending to others’ needs (thanks to a mother who was VERY insistent on me knowing how to include others’ needs into decision making) as well as paying attention to my own needs (because if I don’t look out for my health when I’m the best person to know at any given moment what I can or can’t manage then who will?). I can seem more selfish at times because I have to pay a lot of attention to my energy levels due to the CFS-like (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome btw) symptoms that I have and the low (compared to others) energy level and very high recharging needs.
    (Honestly I think I fit the bill for Idiopathic Fatigue Syndrome since I don’t have certain parts of CFS and there’s no known cause… I am slightly unsettled by how many Old Souls seem to report low energy levels even debilitating at times and at young ages. I myself feel that I am a Old Soul and I have very low energy levels at only age of 19… Why the odd causation of the two? Old Souls and low physical energy levels?)
    2. I’m not so sure about this one but I do know I work to balance my thinking and my feeling, to include and incorporate my feelings, gut instincts, sensing, intuition, and emotional and energy states into the decision as well as the logical expectations, outcomes, mental energy and mental capacity, whether it feels “right/true” for me or not, how much I want to do it compared to the other events that I may need to save up energy for instead. I don’t know if you’d call that “big picture” or not. Its part of the rigorous decision-making I must regularly do in order to accommodate what I can and are not able to do into my life.
    3. I’m not so sure about “entitlement” but I sure as hell wouldn’t mind getting things without working towards it. xD Who doesn’t like free things? xD I’m not sure if I expect to gain things without putting in work for it however, or if its more of I WISH I could get away with it… Those seem like two very different things. xP
    6. I have to do this. Note the decision-making process I mentioned above. I weigh the effects, considerations, factors, needs, wants, expectations, logical reasons for and against it, pros and cons, benefits and energy costs, priority levels, emotional/mental/physical states and needs, feelings, intuition, wants and intentions, outcomes of this and what to do for this and how and when and by what day, and on and on and on. People do tell me I think too much sometimes, but it helps to make my life easier overall, more manageable and do-able, and to cut ties with things that don’t work or hold me back, or to even just work on increasing the positive benefits and decrease the negative side-effects too.
    8. I can seem to do this to others, I think. I just dearly need the downtime like nothing else though. Just the sweet sweet bliss of sitting in my bedroom while drawing, daydreaming, reading, writing, or learning about more spiritual things. Oh that rejuvenates me like nothing else. Its vital for my wellbeing and helps increase my overall happiness and enjoyment in life. I WANT an easy life of just staying home, creating and learning, reading and dreaming, and possibly getting money for that, and that’s all I really desire on the spirit/soul level. Sharing my knowledge also would work but that involves other people, and that inherently complicates the situation and drains my energy chunk by chunk. Sharing online is easier in the energy demands than travelling to meet the people face to face. Even then I am very good at keeping the bulk of what I know to myself for understanding that many people are simply not ready and not able to know or comprehend it. If I sense they’re open though, willing to learn, then I slowly and gradually build up the knowledge base, find out what they do learn, use metaphors when I can to help make the process easier on them, and then after a time finally be able to start to talk about the things that I experience in my day to day spiritual life (and essentially the whole spiritual/spirits side of life that is such an important and integral and necessary part of my life and existence) without talking completely over their heads by accident and thus resulting in reactions from them that span from head-scratching to outright upset and disbelief and venomous accusations of mental instability or possessed or whatever else they can think of that fits with their belief system. I do not need to personally experience those reactions and accusations to know, I only need to see how people react to others who try to share something that does not fit with the people’s belief systems and world views. Therefore I keep shut and talk only about what the person is willing and ready to hear and talk so well that they tend to be clueless that there’s anything more in my life for me.
    …I will stop my tangent and stop the babbling now. -///- Namaste! :)

    • Luna

      Indigo, I love reading your introspective deliberations :P They remind me of the journals I’d keep every day for almost 10 years, and my thoughts looked something like what you’ve written above (except with a lot more angst!) I too suffer from chronic fatigue, and I tend to think it’s a mind/body connection issue. If you’re old in mind, you tend to feel old in body as our bodies are very suggestible to our unconscious thoughts and feelings.
      Thanks for sharing so much about yourself Indigo! It’s amazing how much I relate to a lot of what you’ve written, and I know others will be able to as well! ~L

  • space2live

    Most of the characteristics above do not fit me. I worry constantly that I am not giving enough attention to others, so I feel I am fairly conscious of others. I do ask for time to myself because I need it to soothe frayed nerves and gather complete thoughts.
    I spend a lot of time listening to other’s life stories.
    I would love to banish the image of introverts as self-absorbed. I don’t believe it’s a fair assessment

    • Luna

      Thanks for commenting space2live! A lot of your comment sounds like self love, rather than self absorption. We protect and nurture our needs because basically … we need to, in order to function! I guess a better question would be … does too much introspection make you self absorbed? Seeing as introverts are inherently focused on their inner worlds of thoughts and emotions and passions, doesn’t that make them self centred? I’d love to hear why you don’t believe it’s a fair assessment :)