Parenting An Introvert From The Perspective Of A Child

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parenting an introvert

Dear Mum and Dad,

I’m writing this letter to let you help me.

I feel sad and very bad when you make angry faces at me and sometimes make me do things I hate doing.  This is why I’m naughty sometimes, and throw tantrums.

You don’t let me do things I love, instead you make me do things I hate.  Like playgroups.

Playgroups are very loud and tiring for me.  When you leave me with lots of strange people I feel like I want to run away, or I might explode.  Don’t force me to go to them.  Too much screaming and shouting and playing makes me tired sometimes, and also sometimes scared.  I hate playing with lots and lots of people, it confuses me!  I like playdates more.  But don’t make me go to them either.  Sometimes I like to play by myself.  Just like today.

I have an imaginary friend called Pummel.  He likes to sit with me and play cars and trains when the house is all quiet.  I like when the house is like that, and when I can sit and play with Pummel.  But he’s scared of the noisy people you bring to the house and tries to hide with me sometimes.  Just like yesterday.

I didn’t like the strange people that came into the house yesterday.  Can we get rid of them?  Sometimes they surprise me and make my face feel hot when they shake my hand, or pick me up.  I don’t like when they all look at me.  Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend they’re not there.  Can you not tell them about me please?  I feel embarrassed.

Many adults make me feel embarrassed.  I don’t like when I have to stand with you in front of them, and when you say I should talk to them and stop being so silent.  Sometimes I don’t feel like talking to ANYONE, not even Pummel.  I don’t even want to go to birthday parties sometimes, I prefer to make secret cities with my cars and trains.  I don’t know all the people at birthday parties and sometimes it makes me very shy.

I love when you hold my hand and walk with me.  I feel very happy and safe, but sometimes you make me do things and it makes me mad and scared inside.  I know that sometimes I’m not very friendly to other people and I don’t say much, but there are many good things inside of me as well.  I hope you can see these things too.


Photo by: Kristina Alexanderson

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  • Vicki Brown

    Dear Christopher – Thanks for telling your mom and dad about this early, now, before it gets worse. Otherwise, you might find yourself in the predicament of this 15 year old girl:

    • Luna

      ” In the last four-five months, she has started protesting, refusing to come, to the point that I have had to shake her, even slap her.” What a terrible way to deal with an introverted child! Thanks for sharing the consequences that some introverted kids have to face Vicki.