“People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.” – Tender Branson, (Survivor) by Chuck Palahniuk
Have you ever wondered why Adam and Eve took a bite from the Tree of Knowledge? My theory is that they just got too bored with the perpetual never-changing holy-goodness surrounding them. So instead… they decided to play the devil and spice things up a bit.
If you observe the people in society these days, you can see that my theory may actually be valid. When life is going too neutrally and too equilibriously, people tend to get bored and discontented really easily. The saying “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing” actually makes sense when you observe how much of a Drama Queen you can be in your own life.
How often have you sabotaged your own happiness by creating your own dramas? How often have you found yourself greedily wanting more and more, even though your life is fine the way it is? A few weeks ago I was reading a book where the author discussed his surprise in finding out his friends discontentment with what he had. This man, wealthy and accomplished, had just bought a mansion, had just moved in, and had declared that his next priority was to “buy an even bigger house to live in”.
I’ve observed this kind of Drama Queen behavior in my own life as well, for instance, everything is going all peachy when suddenly I begin to overlook what I have and create tensions, strife and problems for myself. So why exactly do we love living life as Drama Queens, and why do we crave drama so much in our lives?
Are You A Stimulation Seeker?
Ever wondered why the majority of us like watching movies and TV shows like Desperate Housewives, Dexter, American Beauty, and Gran Torino? It’s because the majority of us crave the dramatic and exciting: we’re stimulation seekers. People are attracted to what makes their pulses race, and to what they feel makes their lives more three dimensional.
Just observe all the ladies at bus stops, inside trains and in waiting lounges that read gossip magazines. Gossip is another form of stimulation because it breeds drama and excitement. Ever noticed yourself lapping up the latest gossip, or drama stories like cat milk? Chances are you’re bored or dissatisfied with your life at the moment, and need that little bit of juicy “goss” to add some sparkle to your life.
Kurt Vonnegut once said that we love drama because we desire to conform our lives to the fairytales, and tragedy stories that we’ve heard since childhood. In essence, we’re trying to create a dramatic fairytale out of our lives, and if you think about it, Vonnegut may actually have a point.
If I told you, for instance, that your life could either be a slow, steady and persistent train ride, or an adrenaline pulsing, blood-screaming roller-coaster, which would you choose? If you’re like most people, you most likely chose the latter.
“Live life to the fullest!”
Many people seem to be under the impression that to live life “to the fullest” is to recklessly seek out situations that they believe will add meaning, significance and fulfillment to their lives. Just take the catch-cry of a website I recently discovered as an example. The website is a dating site – except for already married and partnered people. This is what it said …
“Life is short. Have an affair!”
While this did a reasonably good job of making my stomach churn, it’s also a good example of where exactly people have their priorities: in the external world.
Why The Drama Queen Loves Distractions
What happens when we stop creating drama and craving for external distractions in our lives? Most of us are left with a big fat nothing.
We are left to deal with ourselves, our lives and our deeds. We are left with a deafening silence that causes us to become more aware of the reality of our existence. Suddenly the silencing noise, the noise that numbs our minds, our thoughts, our inquisitive questioning processes, is gone. A veil is pulled back from over our eyes and we see our lives for what they are: empty, two dimensional, lost.
Perhaps this is why many of us become relentless Drama Queens? We are treading the temptingly easy path full of external stimulations and distractions, rather than taking the intimidating internal path, and becoming solitary sojourners.
This article is for those of you who are exhausted with your lives. It is for those of you who want to reconnect with your internal selves and the people around you again.
One of the greatest ways to drop your inner Drama Queen is to practice personal solitude. Take a look at our book “The Power of Solitude” to find out more.