If there is any advice I would universally give to every person, regardless of who they are, it is this: walk your own path.
Walk your own damn path.
Don’t walk someone else’s path. Don’t walk the path your parents predestined for you just because you feel emotionally indebted to them. Don’t walk a path that appears to be yours, but is actually society’s fabricated ideal of who you ‘should’ be. Don’t walk a path just because you fell into it and it’s “good enough.” Don’t walk a path that you feel a sense of enslaved duty towards because it’s what you “need to be” doing according to dominant sociocultural standards.
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Walk your own path. That means CHOOSING your own path in a very conscious way. This is an act of spiritual self-sovereignty.
Table of contents
What is a Lone Wolf?
A lone wolf personality is typically defined as a person (or animal) who prefers to spend time alone rather than being in a group. However, within this website, lone wolf refers to a person who has listened to their calling and has left behind their old life, thus rendering them alone or alienated from others. We all possess an inner wolf that thirsts for freedom, truth, and authenticity. If we seek to live a meaningful life, if we want to fulfill our destiny and spiritual purpose, it’s our job to listen to that inner wolf and embrace our sacred wild nature.
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What does your inner lone wolf want you to know?
Why Most People Are Terrified of Walking Their Own Path
Although choosing your own path may initially sound very empowering, there’s a reason why most people prefer to follow the herd.
First Reason:
Firstly, walking your own path means that you might be REJECTED by others. You might be gossiped about, thought of in disparaging ways (e.g., as a “kook,” “oddball,” “idiot”), and outright alienated or estranged from other people. Sometimes those people who reject you are those closest to you. And what could be more painful than losing a family member, friend, or even partner?
As a species, we’re biologically programmed to seek approval because acceptance equals survival. Inevitably, doing anything that may cause us to be rejected sets off those deep, primal alarm bells and raises the hairs on the back of our necks. I would go so far as saying that walking your own path guarantees that at some point someone will look down on you and say, “what on earth are you doing, you imbecile?”
Second Reason:
The second reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s a hell of a lotta work. No one is out there giving you a map, a set of rules, or instructions that tell you what to do. YOU have to be responsible for figuring it all out from scratch.
It kind of feels like stumbling through the dark in a room full of sharp objects. You will make mistakes. You will fall flat and land smack bang on your face. You will feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and a lot of other uncomfortable emotions that come with doing something completely radical.
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And on a mental and emotional level, most people see that. Most people understand, on some superficial level, the consequences and therefore prefer the cozy, comfortable, and bland mediocrity of society-prescribed living.
Third Reason:
The third reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s “too much” RESPONSIBILITY.
When you take your path into your own hands, YOU are responsible. There’s no one to blame, point the finger at, whine about, or feel victimized by. You are the worker, boss, innovator, and creator all-in-one. Instead of someone else holding all the cards, you hold all the cards, and it is ultimately your problem if you wind up feeling shitty with what you do. Most people can’t handle that.
Most people like the comfy confines of their cages because it makes them feel justified about feeling like a “poor little” victim of life. Instead of taking self-responsibility, it’s much easier to dump the burden onto someone else’s shoulders and feel self-righteously empowered through blame.
Fourth Reason:
And last, but not least, the fourth reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that they don’t know where to start. Some don’t even know that there is another path, to begin with.
We seem to be raised in cultures that tell us that there are a limited number of paths, aka. the paths that are taught by the big money-making University and College industries.
In school, we are conditioned to believe that going to University is the only path towards developing a legitimately “fulfilling” career path … and that getting a properly certified career path somehow equals happiness. Very few of us are even taught about other equally, if not fulfilling paths. Spirituality isn’t even touched on in most cases.
So when we do stumble upon the possibility of taking a new path that goes against the grain, we are not only intimidated but also invalidated by our social conditioning.
Many people believe that the only way to know you’re walking a “proper” or valuable is if you get the approval of social institutions (or shall I say social marketplaces) in the form of degrees and PhDs. The deep distrust we are conditioned to develop in ourselves paralyzes our ability to act. So many of us never make anything of our dreams – they just fester in the back corners of our minds.
13 Weird and Wonderful Benefits of Walking Your Own Path
So far we’ve focused only on the negative side of walking your own path and being a lone wolf. But what about the breathtaking, exciting, blood-tingly-good benefits?
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When comparing the negatives and positives side by side, let me tell you, the negatives pale in comparison to what you can expect to experience.
Yes, being different and being a lone wolf walking your own path can be uncomfortable, tiring, confusing, and alienating at times – BUT there are so many rewards to reap from this courageous way of living. Some include:
- You’re free to follow your true soul path
- You’ll innovate and create to your heart’s utmost desire
- You’ll connect with people who truly support and nourish you (your soul family)
- You’ll experience tremendous mental, emotional, and spiritual growth
- You’ll become the person you are destined to be
- You’ll make a real difference in the life of others
- You feel more ALIVE
- Gratitude, excitement, and joy come more easily
- Many unexpected doors open to you
- You feel more vibrant and energized
- You feel a sense of self-respect for courageously pursuing your life purpose
- You get to experience the thrill of exploring unknown territory
- You can go to sleep at night feeling happy and content
Read: How to Find Yourself When You’re Lost in Life »
Does walking your own path always mean that you’ll have to embrace being a lone wolf or social outsider? No, not always. Maybe your life purpose really is entering statistics into a data file in an office. Maybe it’s simply being an acceptable member of society. (If you feel empowered by that or like it’s for a greater purpose, all the more power to you!)
But I would argue that there’s a difference between defensive complacency (e.g., “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m perfectly happy in this path/job, thank you very much”) and real fulfillment.
Spiritual Awakening and Being a Lone Wolf
Spiritually speaking, we’re all required to walk the path of the lone wolf sooner or later. Those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and/or dark night of the soul know this all too well. Quite frankly, it’s impossible to keep conforming to society’s expectations and values after the veil has been pulled from our eyes. The old ways will eventually crumble. Something must give.
So, why is walking the path of the lone wolf an inseparable part of the spiritual awakening journey? The answer is that to begin the spiritual path in the first place we must leave the familiar. We must walk alone. We must go on a voyage into the Great Unknown. (If you’re familiar with mythologist Joseph Campbell’s ‘Hero’s Journey,’ or the Tarot’s Fool card, you’ll understand this.)
But what triggers this initial awakening and desire to go solo?
At a certain point in our lives, we look around at everything and everyone around us and think, “there’s got to be more.” We’re no longer fulfilled. Life feels empty. WE feel empty. This thirst for something deeper and greater than material pursuit is what initiates us onto the path of the lone wolf.
Why is it called “the path of the lone wolf”? The reason why I call it the lone wolf path is that it can initially be a very lonely path. WE must be the ones to reconnect with our inner courage, discernment, and wild internal compass to walk the path well – NO ONE else can do this work for us.
And without embodying the inner strength, resilience, and intelligence represented by the wolf, we can easily fall back into the soulless and oftentimes destructive life lived by the billions of sheep out there.
How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path
Walking your own path, on some level, always requires a conscious choice in which you say “YES, this feels true to me and what my Soul really craves for.” Even if you accidentally stumble onto that path, walking an authentic path always requires some level of self-awareness.
At some point in your life journey, you’ll need to embrace being a lone wolf. You’ll have to go at it alone. You’ll have to go against the grain, break free from the herd, ask the difficult questions, and face the confronting truths which may alienate you from others.
You’ll need to be discerning, see through the bullshit, shrug off the haters, and keep moving forward, even if you’re tired of fighting.
Being a lone wolf means being a spiritual warrior. It means standing up for what you believe in and courageously walking into the wild unknown.
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It’s all worth it. I can assure you of that and I can keep asserting it until I turn black and blue – but ultimately you must discover this for yourself. Don’t take anything I say as truth unless you have experienced it directly.
If you’re drawn towards embracing your inner wolf, beginning your spiritual journey, and courageously walking your own path, here are some helpful pointers:
1. Understand and accept that there will be some backlash
Whether from your friends, family members, or society at large, you will inevitably encounter naysayers. At some point, you’ll be met with cynics, killjoys, and sourpusses who seek to bring you down to their level. The reason why they fight against you is that, in their minds, you invalidate their way of existence. By courageously forging your own path you are causing them to reflect on their own lives and decisions. If on some level, they’ve realized that they’ve followed the crowd and made no unique decisions of their own, they’ll feel a sense of resentment which they’ll project onto you.
Although it’s not nice to be on the receiving end of this, understand that the issue lies with them, not you. Everyone walking a path with a heart will experience social unease at some point – you’re certainly not alone in facing this problem. Just keep moving forward and remind yourself that it’s no one’s place to dictate what your life should be like except you.
2. Ask yourself, “What do I truly and deeply want?”
This is not a question you ask just once, this is a question you continuously ask on your path, thousands of times over. Keep bringing back your focus on what you desire on the deepest level – not what others want to project or dump onto you.
What do you feel called to do? What do you wish to accomplish in your life? What wild paths are you afraid to take because they are so alien – but that you feel secretly drawn towards?
Our paths are not static: they’re constantly shifting, evolving, and changing. By repeatedly asking yourself this question, you’ll be able to reinvent yourself over and over again. Instead of getting stuck in an old and stagnant way of living, you will be in tune with your Soul.
Read: Soul Searching: 7 Ways to Uncover Your True Path »
3. Question everything
Being a lone wolf and walking your own path go hand-in-hand with a sharp mind. How are we to discover what is our “stuff” vs. other’s “stuff” if we can’t be discerning? How can we learn what is true and what is deceptive without the ability to analyze?
Your mind is a tool that needs to be sharpened. Without having a sharp mind, it’s easy to fall into delusion, naivety, and stumble into rabbit holes which lead to great confusion. Without the ability to use critical thought (and balance that with an open heart), you can easily fall prey to emotional and spiritual predators out there.
Your ability to be discerning is your protective sword on your path. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be discerning! Don’t let anyone convince you of anything until you have experienced it yourself.
Read: The Dangers of Lacking Spiritual Discernment »
4. Love yourself and be your own best friend
Embracing the path of the wolf and taking responsibility for your life can be lonely. If you are your own worst enemy, your path will be a million times harder. But if you can focus some of that energy on learning to love and accept yourself exactly the way you are (warts and all), your path will be a million times easier.
You are with yourself 24/7 and you’re the only person who has been there by your side through everything … doesn’t it make sense to like who you are? Doesn’t it make sense to enjoy spending time with yourself? In my experience it absolutely does. Practicing self-compassion and learning how to love yourself are two of the most powerful tools and strengths you can possess. Ever.
5. Know yourself
Strive to learn a little bit more about yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses each and every day. Self-discovery and self-understanding are tremendously important facets of walking your own path. As the wise master, Lao Tzu once wrote, “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” Only when you can come to deeply know yourself can you truly embrace who you are and walk your path with confidence.
See our psychological and spiritual free tests »
6. Feel the fear, but act anyway
Walking the path of the lone wolf will inevitably confront you with some scary and intimidating situations. Even just starting the path can be terrifying.
Following your heart and listening to your calling is not as sunshine-and-roses as many people make it out to be. Often it requires tremendous sacrifice and the ability to look fear straight in the face without turning away.
While I am not a perfect example, I have learned as a rule that feeling the fear but acting anyway is a good choice (in most cases). Obviously, if you’re facing a life-threatening situation it would be better to pause and probably run the opposite way.
But if the fear you’re feeling is emotional or psychological be gentle with yourself and keep pushing forward. Hold your goal in mind, reaffirm your worthiness and inner strength, and keep going. Don’t let anything or anyone try to bring you down. And if you do fall down, keep picking yourself up, over and over again. Remember, you can do anything, just do it afraid. Have the courage to be vulnerable.
7. Let your wild nature guide you
You are both human and divine – accept this. Embrace the wild and non-rational part of you that serves as your inner compass. Listen to your gut feelings and let your animal self be filled with passion. You don’t have to be tamed or repressed any longer.
Walking your own path and embracing the lone wolf side of you means that you finally have freedom. You have the freedom to feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the earth beneath your feet. Your life is your making. Your destiny is in your hands.
Make sure that you get out of your mind and into your body; into your heart, blood, and bones … what are they telling you? Honor the wisdom in your instinctual nature. Honor the wild and raw passion pulsating deep within. Harness this passion and let it guide and motivate you.
There is no point walking a path that you do not feel passionate about. Let the wolf within you howl loudly and freely. Remember that YOU are both the traveler and the path all-in-one. The compass you need for your path is always within. Be careful of looking for it outside of yourself. While others may be able to shine a light on your path, ultimately the greatest guiding light is your own Soul.
Read: 7 Signs You’re a Free Spirit »
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What is your experience with walking the path of the lone wolf? What struggles have you faced and how have you overcome them (if at all)? What did it feel like when you broke away from the herd and followed your own path? I’d love to read your response below.
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Deciding to homeschool (unschool) my children set me on one of these such paths as a lone wolf. I am thankful that I continued my walk even through the darkness, criticism, and self doubt. The benefits have been enormous. It has taken time to completely deschool and embrace a different (non-socially acceptable) path. Again, I am faced with a very difficult path that I must make a choice about and I am fearful. I try to remember that I have faced difficulties before and overcame. Thank you for this article. (Loving your space here at Lonerwolf)
Hi A,
Walking into the unknown is always a bit terrifying. I think it’s courageous of you to for starters face this reality! Wishing you all the strength, resolve, and wisdom you need for this new journey,
– Luna
I so enjoyed your readings they are always aligned with my current way of living!
Thank you .
So happy to hear that Gina. :)
I definitely follow the beat of my own drum, but because sooo many other people are content being comfortable and I am currently living in a culture where it is very status quo to follow the “chosen path”, I am finding myself more and more exhausted by being the true me. Of course, I don’t know how to be them either, so I’m kind of losing myself in exhaustion. Any suggestions, tips or tricks? The culture change alone takes being fierce and I think is great that people have their eyes opened up to a different way of being but it is definitely an uphill battle.
Hi there B. I can relate to the struggle and this path can definitely be exhausting. But there are certain ways you can take a step back and refresh your energy. I think this is an interesting topic you’ve raised because we were never taught how to manage our energy growing up. Managing your energy is about learning to set boundaries, prioritize, and take time to step back + rejuvenate your energy reserves. Energy is also lost through mistaken beliefs and harmful mindsets, which might be something to look into. Otherwise, there is also this article that I wrote on the topic: https://lonerwolf.com/keep-moving-forward/ I hope this is helpful!
I find it really interesting that the “Loner Wolf” path described here is met by the fact that you guys have made a lifestyle business trying to “CONNECT” with “people”. No disrespect intended, but it just doesn’t seem to add up.
Hi John. I think perhaps you misunderstand the intention behind our work and website. Our work is about encouraging and supporting people who are walking this difficult path, because there are many out there who feel alone and isolated on the road they’re taking. Our goal is to help people see that it’s normal and OK to be alone + walk alone, and that it can actually be very empowering. In fact, learning to embrace the ‘wolf’ inside is a key part of the spiritual path in my opinion. Connecting people is not one of our primary goals, but instead, we are about guiding and helping people on this path. However, if people do feel a sense of connection thanks to our work, all the better! I hope that creates some clarity. :)
This post has reached me at the right time. I’ve been following my own path and have definitely come up against opposition. The biggest opposition is from my partner at present who tells me he hates my long hair, I’m weird and gets angry at my love of crystals, my ability to heal and just know things. I choose my path, I choose to be a lone wolf and not be shackled to someone who wants me to be “normal” and asleep. I’m not out of the dark yet but I’m working my way through it.
Wow, it definitely sounds like this guy is on a completely different wavelength as you, and I’m sorry to hear that he is totally unsupportive of your path. Being shackled to such a person can be SO disheartening (I’ve experienced it as well). So I’m with you there! For me, it helped to see the whole experience as a lesson and ask, “what is this teaching me?” Sometimes mentally taking a big-picture perspective helps (if that is any consolation). You can do this!
Oh YES! I love this. It’s me, and I try so hard to inspire others to be the same (different) way. How sad to live a life without truly knowing oneself, going with the flow of the crowds, and in no way is it more of a wasted opportunity than spiritually speaking. Spirituality is the most personal and unique thing there can possibly be.
Thanks and love
Very much agreed. Thank you for sharing here L!
Another great article! I feel as though I’ve always walked this path and don’t know any other way to be. It’s true that it can be lonely, but as you say I have myself and I’m great company! I see what you’re saying about corporate life and focusing on making money. I see it a bit differently. I’m fortunate to have been raised and educated where I was, and this provides me with abundant opportunities. I work to leverage those opportunities to allow me to find fulfillment helping others. Because I’m able to have a job with a decent salary and a company match for nonprofits, I started my own nonprofit and have helped families in need. This gives me a feeling of fulfillment that is difficult to express because I’m not as good with words as you. But the ability to assist those less fortunate and knowing the positive changes I’ve made for people and animals is the ultimate for me, and I wouldn’t be able to do as much if I didn’t have a corporate job. I’m also very lucky to work with great people and enjoy my daily responsibilities in the office.
Thanks again for the thought-provoking and validating article, I love you guys!
Hi Megan, thanks for sharing your experiences with this subject here. I agree, corporate/professional roles can open up many doors of opportunity. And I think that is fantastic provided that the opportunities feel authentic and fulfilling. The message I wanted to convey in this article focused on the shadow side of the corporate world, i.e. seeing it as the only valid way of finding a meaningful path. But there is always a light and a dark side of everything, and sometimes a person is lucky enough to be presented with fulfilling opportunities or roles through this medium. So I appreciate you pointing out the other side! A balanced perspective is always the healthiest, in my opinion. Thanks Megan!
I was lucky as a kid – my parents never told us we should be this or that. They left it to us to choose our adult paths. I thought I was a lone wolf – I usually did my own thing. Maybe I still am. My issue is I’m deaf from meningitis in kindergarten, and for some reason throughout my life I’ve been accused of faking it. I’m oral deaf – I read lips and don’t sign, though one ear is “dead” and the other gets some sound from a hearing aid. I have an above average IQ and read many books of all kinds, so I did well in school even though I didn’t catch everything my teachers were saying. My first two audiologists thought I was faking it to get attention. So did some of my teachers and classmates. I chose to hang out with a good friend and ignore the bullies. However, in adult life I discovered that the belief I was faking it continued with some bosses and co-workers. That’s a whole different ballgame – it could affect my livelihood and did. So I developed anxiety and lost some of my lone-wolf strength. Now I’m working on “getting myself back.”
I admire your resilience, Robin! Keep pushing forward. Ultimately, at the end of the day your relationship with yourself is what matters the most as you’re with yourself 24/7. Thanks for commenting. :)
Damn right I need to hear this, RIGHT NOW.
Deep down I knew this, sadly I didn’t want to listen. I want others to accept me as I am. I even twisted it into “fine, maybe not a full acceptance, I just want them to see me”. But it was the same excuse and I shamelessly hold on to it.
I knew the path is gonna be rough initially, hell, rough doesn’t even cut it. And I wanted it to be more gentle, I even believe that I can control it. I can’t, can I?
I am holding back, Luna. I really am. Somehow I don’t believe that I deserve it. I don’t believe that I actually really truly CAN do it. This is gonna be weird, deep down there’s a voice saying “seriously? after all this, you still don’t believe in yourself? you kidding me?”. But no I’m not kidding, and yes I still doubt myself.
I realise that there’s no way I can be sure about anything. No one can convince me to do or not to do anything. You’re right, Luna, no one’s gonna walk it for me, I have to do it on my own.
What I truly want is to feel safe, Luna. And I don’t even care if the “safety” I desire is just an illusion. I’ve never felt truly safe, never had the support system I deeply need. Or perhaps I did have at some point and hushed them away because I didn’t trust them enough. See? I still wear the victim mask, and I can’t take it off even though I want to.
Am I that broken, Luna? A person told me that I am missing a part in me and it’s just the way I am, that I can only pray my way to be whole. But why do I feel that it’s not completely true? I am not perfect, not at all. But I know it within, I know it in my Soul, that I am not hopelessly broken.
Being vulnerable is the last thing I want to do. I’ve been hiding all along, Luna. I still am, behind the headscarf, behind the books, even behind the healing process I convinced myself in. But I am sick of all of it, of hiding.
Just a couple days ago I met a stranger, not randomly though. I intended to see her but for an entirely different reason than to be open and vulnerable. But I did just that, being open and vulnerable. It surprised me that I actually was able to be vulnerable and honest with myself in front of others, a stranger even.
I didn’t plan to write this long. I even considered to put a different name, to hide, again, in case anyone recognise me. But hey, nobody even cares, do they?
Strangely enough, I hope they do.
Thank you, Luna. Thank you so much for everything.
Perhaps it’s best to get that support I want so badly, no one’s gonna get it for me. But, again, I don’t know if I can/will do it… But I can do baby steps. Baby steps are okay, right?
Hi Ika, I’m so glad this article came at the right time for you.
You know, all the self-doubt, fear of vulnerability, need for safety — this is all NORMAL. What you are describing is the universal human experience; the complexity and mess of being human. And you know what? I experience all of this too. I experience that same self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, tiredness, world-weariness — all of it. It’s not wrong or weird to experience these emotions, it’s completely normal. I think one of the most powerful experiences/practices is to normalize these feelings; to tell yourself “it’s OK for me to feel this way, it’s normal.” The issues come when we pathologize, dramatize or obsess over these emotions and human experiences. They are experiences that come and go. So perhaps what I’m trying to say here is that you’re ALLOWED to be a messy and flawed human. But at the same time, that doesn’t detract from your innate divinity. That is the holy paradox of life: we are both imperfect and perfect at the same time.
Whoever told you that you are broken is speaking from a very basic level of consciousness. Sure, on a relative level you might feel broken according to what the mind says. But spiritually you cannot be broken: it’s not even a concept. You don’t have to believe me. You can experience this for yourself. Meditation and inducing altered states of consciousness are wonderful ways to experience this state of Wholeness.
As for the safety you seek, have you ever considered doing inner child work? This would be a good area to explore if you feel fundamentally unsafe in this world.
I hope this helps, Ika!
As always!! LonerWolf! One of my favourite self-evolution/spiritual websites has yet another empowering post.
The concepts of Divine Purpose and the path of the lone wolf have fascinated me for a very long time. I have always been obsessed with finding my Soul’s Purpose and following it through, because I know if one finds their Soul’s Purpose, Divine Purpose, they have found the greatest treasure life and the Universe have to offer them.
Breaking away from the herd is exciting, empowering and invigorating in so many ways! And quite scary as well! For me it was intimidating at first, I still am searching for my Unique path, by the way.
But so far choosing to drop out of college and not get a job have granted me an abundance of freedom and a hell lot of rejection as well. My Soul was literally screaming at me to be authentic, and demanded that I literally split from the herd immediately!
It feels good to know I live life on my own terms, though I’m not 100% stable yet, it’s nice to choose to live life by the requests of the silent whispers in you.
A lot of people tend to think I live in a world of fantasy as they see me trying out all sorts of strange ideas to make a living, others call me lazy. So yeah, putting up with a hell lot of criticism is tough when you vow to pursue your Soul’s calling.
One key I would advise to many as you said in your article is to have a good relationship with yourself and practice self-compassion. Having a good relationship with yourself is an absolutely fundamental key as there do come days where you will get crushed by hectic setbacks toppled with a temporary lack of support, especially in the beginning, speaking from personal experience.
But with a solid relationship with yourself you have what it takes to push through and keep fighting.
I personally know exactly what it is I want to do, yes I’ve had plenty of ideas failed in the past but I’m still pushing on, one thing I fear is looking weird because now I want to try something spiritual, a spiritual career. I know a lot of people and most were of a Hip hop culture, I can imagine the cold hard rejection I will face from them, that’s one thing holding me back.
How am I dealing with this?? Giving myself time to allow the bravery needed to come to me. I focus my mind on what I want to do, tell myself I am building more and more emotional resilience and am ready for the backlashes of hell lol.
Most of all I tell myself how I feel about myself is what counts the most, I AM FOR ME! And that is it! My opinion of myself is what counts the most!
My Soul’s Calling! First Priority!
Thank you for the inspiration Aletheia and please keep up the good work!! You inspire me!
Thanks Ntando, some great discussion here! I love hearing when someone has begun that great journey into the Unknown — it’s such an exciting time brimming with opportunities and profound self-discoveries! Yes, there is a lot of pain, but when you are your own best friend, the path is so much easier. Self-love and self-compassion are one of the most vital keys within this journey. I’m delighted that you are living life on your own terms and following the whispers within your heart. :)