If there is any advice I would universally give to every person, regardless of who they are, it is this: walk your own path.
Walk your own damn path.
Don’t walk someone else’s path. Don’t walk the path your parents predestined for you just because you feel emotionally indebted to them. Don’t walk a path that appears to be yours, but is actually society’s fabricated ideal of who you ‘should’ be. Don’t walk a path just because you fell into it and it’s “good enough.” Don’t walk a path that you feel a sense of enslaved duty towards because it’s what you “need to be” doing according to dominant sociocultural standards.
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Walk your own path. That means CHOOSING your own path in a very conscious way. This is an act of spiritual self-sovereignty.
Table of contents
What is a Lone Wolf?
A lone wolf personality is typically defined as a person (or animal) who prefers to spend time alone rather than being in a group. However, within this website, lone wolf refers to a person who has listened to their calling and has left behind their old life, thus rendering them alone or alienated from others. We all possess an inner wolf that thirsts for freedom, truth, and authenticity. If we seek to live a meaningful life, if we want to fulfill our destiny and spiritual purpose, it’s our job to listen to that inner wolf and embrace our sacred wild nature.
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What does your inner lone wolf want you to know?
Why Most People Are Terrified of Walking Their Own Path
Although choosing your own path may initially sound very empowering, there’s a reason why most people prefer to follow the herd.
First Reason:
Firstly, walking your own path means that you might be REJECTED by others. You might be gossiped about, thought of in disparaging ways (e.g., as a “kook,” “oddball,” “idiot”), and outright alienated or estranged from other people. Sometimes those people who reject you are those closest to you. And what could be more painful than losing a family member, friend, or even partner?
As a species, we’re biologically programmed to seek approval because acceptance equals survival. Inevitably, doing anything that may cause us to be rejected sets off those deep, primal alarm bells and raises the hairs on the back of our necks. I would go so far as saying that walking your own path guarantees that at some point someone will look down on you and say, “what on earth are you doing, you imbecile?”
Second Reason:
The second reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s a hell of a lotta work. No one is out there giving you a map, a set of rules, or instructions that tell you what to do. YOU have to be responsible for figuring it all out from scratch.
It kind of feels like stumbling through the dark in a room full of sharp objects. You will make mistakes. You will fall flat and land smack bang on your face. You will feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and a lot of other uncomfortable emotions that come with doing something completely radical.
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And on a mental and emotional level, most people see that. Most people understand, on some superficial level, the consequences and therefore prefer the cozy, comfortable, and bland mediocrity of society-prescribed living.
Third Reason:
The third reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s “too much” RESPONSIBILITY.
When you take your path into your own hands, YOU are responsible. There’s no one to blame, point the finger at, whine about, or feel victimized by. You are the worker, boss, innovator, and creator all-in-one. Instead of someone else holding all the cards, you hold all the cards, and it is ultimately your problem if you wind up feeling shitty with what you do. Most people can’t handle that.
Most people like the comfy confines of their cages because it makes them feel justified about feeling like a “poor little” victim of life. Instead of taking self-responsibility, it’s much easier to dump the burden onto someone else’s shoulders and feel self-righteously empowered through blame.
Fourth Reason:
And last, but not least, the fourth reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that they don’t know where to start. Some don’t even know that there is another path, to begin with.
We seem to be raised in cultures that tell us that there are a limited number of paths, aka. the paths that are taught by the big money-making University and College industries.
In school, we are conditioned to believe that going to University is the only path towards developing a legitimately “fulfilling” career path … and that getting a properly certified career path somehow equals happiness. Very few of us are even taught about other equally, if not fulfilling paths. Spirituality isn’t even touched on in most cases.
So when we do stumble upon the possibility of taking a new path that goes against the grain, we are not only intimidated but also invalidated by our social conditioning.
Many people believe that the only way to know you’re walking a “proper” or valuable is if you get the approval of social institutions (or shall I say social marketplaces) in the form of degrees and PhDs. The deep distrust we are conditioned to develop in ourselves paralyzes our ability to act. So many of us never make anything of our dreams – they just fester in the back corners of our minds.
13 Weird and Wonderful Benefits of Walking Your Own Path
So far we’ve focused only on the negative side of walking your own path and being a lone wolf. But what about the breathtaking, exciting, blood-tingly-good benefits?
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When comparing the negatives and positives side by side, let me tell you, the negatives pale in comparison to what you can expect to experience.
Yes, being different and being a lone wolf walking your own path can be uncomfortable, tiring, confusing, and alienating at times – BUT there are so many rewards to reap from this courageous way of living. Some include:
- You’re free to follow your true soul path
- You’ll innovate and create to your heart’s utmost desire
- You’ll connect with people who truly support and nourish you (your soul family)
- You’ll experience tremendous mental, emotional, and spiritual growth
- You’ll become the person you are destined to be
- You’ll make a real difference in the life of others
- You feel more ALIVE
- Gratitude, excitement, and joy come more easily
- Many unexpected doors open to you
- You feel more vibrant and energized
- You feel a sense of self-respect for courageously pursuing your life purpose
- You get to experience the thrill of exploring unknown territory
- You can go to sleep at night feeling happy and content
Read: How to Find Yourself When You’re Lost in Life »
Does walking your own path always mean that you’ll have to embrace being a lone wolf or social outsider? No, not always. Maybe your life purpose really is entering statistics into a data file in an office. Maybe it’s simply being an acceptable member of society. (If you feel empowered by that or like it’s for a greater purpose, all the more power to you!)
But I would argue that there’s a difference between defensive complacency (e.g., “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m perfectly happy in this path/job, thank you very much”) and real fulfillment.
Spiritual Awakening and Being a Lone Wolf
Spiritually speaking, we’re all required to walk the path of the lone wolf sooner or later. Those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and/or dark night of the soul know this all too well. Quite frankly, it’s impossible to keep conforming to society’s expectations and values after the veil has been pulled from our eyes. The old ways will eventually crumble. Something must give.
So, why is walking the path of the lone wolf an inseparable part of the spiritual awakening journey? The answer is that to begin the spiritual path in the first place we must leave the familiar. We must walk alone. We must go on a voyage into the Great Unknown. (If you’re familiar with mythologist Joseph Campbell’s ‘Hero’s Journey,’ or the Tarot’s Fool card, you’ll understand this.)
But what triggers this initial awakening and desire to go solo?
At a certain point in our lives, we look around at everything and everyone around us and think, “there’s got to be more.” We’re no longer fulfilled. Life feels empty. WE feel empty. This thirst for something deeper and greater than material pursuit is what initiates us onto the path of the lone wolf.
Why is it called “the path of the lone wolf”? The reason why I call it the lone wolf path is that it can initially be a very lonely path. WE must be the ones to reconnect with our inner courage, discernment, and wild internal compass to walk the path well – NO ONE else can do this work for us.
And without embodying the inner strength, resilience, and intelligence represented by the wolf, we can easily fall back into the soulless and oftentimes destructive life lived by the billions of sheep out there.
How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path
Walking your own path, on some level, always requires a conscious choice in which you say “YES, this feels true to me and what my Soul really craves for.” Even if you accidentally stumble onto that path, walking an authentic path always requires some level of self-awareness.
At some point in your life journey, you’ll need to embrace being a lone wolf. You’ll have to go at it alone. You’ll have to go against the grain, break free from the herd, ask the difficult questions, and face the confronting truths which may alienate you from others.
You’ll need to be discerning, see through the bullshit, shrug off the haters, and keep moving forward, even if you’re tired of fighting.
Being a lone wolf means being a spiritual warrior. It means standing up for what you believe in and courageously walking into the wild unknown.
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It’s all worth it. I can assure you of that and I can keep asserting it until I turn black and blue – but ultimately you must discover this for yourself. Don’t take anything I say as truth unless you have experienced it directly.
If you’re drawn towards embracing your inner wolf, beginning your spiritual journey, and courageously walking your own path, here are some helpful pointers:
1. Understand and accept that there will be some backlash
Whether from your friends, family members, or society at large, you will inevitably encounter naysayers. At some point, you’ll be met with cynics, killjoys, and sourpusses who seek to bring you down to their level. The reason why they fight against you is that, in their minds, you invalidate their way of existence. By courageously forging your own path you are causing them to reflect on their own lives and decisions. If on some level, they’ve realized that they’ve followed the crowd and made no unique decisions of their own, they’ll feel a sense of resentment which they’ll project onto you.
Although it’s not nice to be on the receiving end of this, understand that the issue lies with them, not you. Everyone walking a path with a heart will experience social unease at some point – you’re certainly not alone in facing this problem. Just keep moving forward and remind yourself that it’s no one’s place to dictate what your life should be like except you.
2. Ask yourself, “What do I truly and deeply want?”
This is not a question you ask just once, this is a question you continuously ask on your path, thousands of times over. Keep bringing back your focus on what you desire on the deepest level – not what others want to project or dump onto you.
What do you feel called to do? What do you wish to accomplish in your life? What wild paths are you afraid to take because they are so alien – but that you feel secretly drawn towards?
Our paths are not static: they’re constantly shifting, evolving, and changing. By repeatedly asking yourself this question, you’ll be able to reinvent yourself over and over again. Instead of getting stuck in an old and stagnant way of living, you will be in tune with your Soul.
Read: Soul Searching: 7 Ways to Uncover Your True Path »
3. Question everything
Being a lone wolf and walking your own path go hand-in-hand with a sharp mind. How are we to discover what is our “stuff” vs. other’s “stuff” if we can’t be discerning? How can we learn what is true and what is deceptive without the ability to analyze?
Your mind is a tool that needs to be sharpened. Without having a sharp mind, it’s easy to fall into delusion, naivety, and stumble into rabbit holes which lead to great confusion. Without the ability to use critical thought (and balance that with an open heart), you can easily fall prey to emotional and spiritual predators out there.
Your ability to be discerning is your protective sword on your path. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be discerning! Don’t let anyone convince you of anything until you have experienced it yourself.
Read: The Dangers of Lacking Spiritual Discernment »
4. Love yourself and be your own best friend
Embracing the path of the wolf and taking responsibility for your life can be lonely. If you are your own worst enemy, your path will be a million times harder. But if you can focus some of that energy on learning to love and accept yourself exactly the way you are (warts and all), your path will be a million times easier.
You are with yourself 24/7 and you’re the only person who has been there by your side through everything … doesn’t it make sense to like who you are? Doesn’t it make sense to enjoy spending time with yourself? In my experience it absolutely does. Practicing self-compassion and learning how to love yourself are two of the most powerful tools and strengths you can possess. Ever.
5. Know yourself
Strive to learn a little bit more about yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses each and every day. Self-discovery and self-understanding are tremendously important facets of walking your own path. As the wise master, Lao Tzu once wrote, “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” Only when you can come to deeply know yourself can you truly embrace who you are and walk your path with confidence.
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6. Feel the fear, but act anyway
Walking the path of the lone wolf will inevitably confront you with some scary and intimidating situations. Even just starting the path can be terrifying.
Following your heart and listening to your calling is not as sunshine-and-roses as many people make it out to be. Often it requires tremendous sacrifice and the ability to look fear straight in the face without turning away.
While I am not a perfect example, I have learned as a rule that feeling the fear but acting anyway is a good choice (in most cases). Obviously, if you’re facing a life-threatening situation it would be better to pause and probably run the opposite way.
But if the fear you’re feeling is emotional or psychological be gentle with yourself and keep pushing forward. Hold your goal in mind, reaffirm your worthiness and inner strength, and keep going. Don’t let anything or anyone try to bring you down. And if you do fall down, keep picking yourself up, over and over again. Remember, you can do anything, just do it afraid. Have the courage to be vulnerable.
7. Let your wild nature guide you
You are both human and divine – accept this. Embrace the wild and non-rational part of you that serves as your inner compass. Listen to your gut feelings and let your animal self be filled with passion. You don’t have to be tamed or repressed any longer.
Walking your own path and embracing the lone wolf side of you means that you finally have freedom. You have the freedom to feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the earth beneath your feet. Your life is your making. Your destiny is in your hands.
Make sure that you get out of your mind and into your body; into your heart, blood, and bones … what are they telling you? Honor the wisdom in your instinctual nature. Honor the wild and raw passion pulsating deep within. Harness this passion and let it guide and motivate you.
There is no point walking a path that you do not feel passionate about. Let the wolf within you howl loudly and freely. Remember that YOU are both the traveler and the path all-in-one. The compass you need for your path is always within. Be careful of looking for it outside of yourself. While others may be able to shine a light on your path, ultimately the greatest guiding light is your own Soul.
Read: 7 Signs You’re a Free Spirit »
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What is your experience with walking the path of the lone wolf? What struggles have you faced and how have you overcome them (if at all)? What did it feel like when you broke away from the herd and followed your own path? I’d love to read your response below.
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I stumbled on this website about seven months ago until during my meditation this morning I encountered a wolf approaching me, which brought my mind back to this website. The wolf surprisingly look the same as the image on this website. It has taken me the whole day browsing and reading through your website. At this point I want to ask if it’s possible to see a wolf in meditation and if yes why and what is it for? Thanks
Saved your web site in my favourites a while ago but never thought anymore until a few weeks ago after reoccurring thoughts of a lone wolf. I find myself perusing your pages daily and appreciating the strength and tenacity of the wolf. I have also distanced myself from my biological family for many reasons; however I do feel lonely at times and wonder if I should try hard to be part of the pack but the thought alone depresses me. Spiritually, I feel something is shifting within but not quite sure how to handle the shift or how to continue my journey!
I’ve been a lone wolf since school days. Aloof from friend circles, avoiding the attention of teachers, I loved being praised as the good child, but I rarely proactively participated. Silent and numb, I reached college and work to find swarms of ‘the acquainted’ flee away, without sustained relations amany. I shift jobs and find similar patterns repeating, me in my cave more often, after a quick day’s routine. What I fathom, is that I couldn’t be fixated with a single career or space for long, and hated – yet adapted to those shifts
I love your honestly, freedom of expression and plain good
Energies for those of us that want to get it.
I came from very good people, honest, hard working, givers who were very astute.
I married young and bad, had 2 children took on full responsibly for them along with my support team of My Dad, (he died young) My Grandpa, who all the spiritual wisdom, that of a patient teacher, he died at 99.3/4 just a giant of soul. He took life on as a refugee to America, gave so much spirit and goodness all along the happy, healthy way. He took wonderful care of his body and mind. He was way ahead of his time with spas, natural foods and no doctors, (on a few occasions) this was handed to My Mom and Myself, I got it. I was my Mom’s protector although she didn’t need one, she encouraged me on. I did complete some major battles legally with corruption as money invites it. We wren’t rich, nor poor, just hard working and invested well as in time everything grows, I was the “lone wolf” young and alive. I have pissed off many people in the nicest of ways, to get my way. People have had all the negative words and actions of jealously etc, I have kept on going. I have been in my own litigation with kids Dad as he never paid his monies to me. He and Lawyer are corrupt, finally I get Lawyer disbarred. This has been ongoing since 1970. I am now going t get what’s mine, I have sat back, I have fought vigilantly. I never have given up.
Then I have corrupt brother who set me up as a mark (never thinging he could win, all lies) to gain a illegitimatelot of money from a man he claimed was his illegitimate son. I have been in court with him since 1988-1993, I settled case, gave him his children’s trust and made myself trustee of my children’s trust. never to be able to come back for any reason. He sued me in 2008, I finally lost after 10years of BS. The I appealed and My Lawyer after waiting 1 3/4 year to Appeal didn’t file timely.
I have been alone especially in my own mind with fighting crooked Lawyers and crooked Judges, courts and on and on.
I went back to college at 71 and took counseling courses to get a handle on me.. I lost it all, as I say, but walked from much assets and money, just left it all behind as I saw corruption I couldn’t fight as even the Lawyers are afraid. take more money having you think you are goofy.
I am now stealth again, new into all I can read up on. I did run into a twin flame situation I thought, never even heard of it, as I though myself into all readings I could find on positive as I am so very black and white, I ran across the twin flames as I had a man call me after 40 or so years that I helped in the 80’s. He was a friend, I took on a situation for him to set him free with court system that I had no business doing, I did it. It worked so when he called I was very happy to hear as we did it , me for him, Oh my God, I did it. I went on to get credentials, made a nice life. I was not nice when I first heard from him as I read in your writings, I was so excited I didn’t know what to do. I apologized in so many ways, he started name calling and acting as though I was dumb, I thing we really liked each other, he was from the south and I CA. He married, he called me a lot until I dropped speaking because he sent me a Christmas card he had a secretary sign. Not me, I was important enough to not give me a card or sign it yourself.
It had been a rough year for me with Him, Mean, not nice,
downtalking, Finally I nicely said goodbye with very much spunck and spirit. As I read on Twn flames I was the runner, he tried to capture me in a sweet way, then abusavive. I am kind and loyal. we haven’t exchanged words or email since July 19, 2020. I am happy to stop it, is this a usual ending for 2 people who really enjoyed each other, had so much in common years ago? 40 years later we both held a spot for each other, a spot is more than zip.
I can’t stop thinking about it when I read and see it seemed to be. Life constantly goes on, I have always referred to my crazy wonderful, tainted, spirited life as my path. I am older now with the body and brain of my younger days I believe as I never quit doing and helping. I must carry on this way as you say a good nights sleep is my reward.
Thanks for enlightening me I have been on a right not a fools trip
Greatest appreciation for being made aware of the global pack like myself. My heart is with you while you walk along the lonely moonlit path. Grit your teeth , keep your eyes open and press on.
Were to start, I have always felt the lone wolf spirit and have always been happiest living this way. I think in the moment I am in a transitional phase, these happen all the time it’s part of the path. Right now my family is growing into their own, and I am now at the point of truly discovering the fact, I’ve done a great job with them, they are spreading their wings and flying. So right now I’m realizing I’m entering a new phase. It really does feel good, but so scary at the same time.
I spend a lot of time asking myself, “what would really make me happy? ” One thing for sure is, I don’t rely on anyone else to make me happy, I’ve tried that many times and for me, that is not the answer. Now I need to look with in and branch out in a more creative direction. I’m struggling with we’re to start. I know what I want to do, and I have the way to do it, but for some reason I hesitate. I’ve had a non “typical” life, but I’m forcing myself to not focus on the past, I’m moving forward. I can’t discuss my direction with my family, because when I do, they fall back on the societal expectations for a woman of my age, and I’m sorry that has never flown with me. I’ve never been a typical woman why would I want to accept that now. And the mantra, “throw me to the wolves, and I’ll come back leading the pack.” That is me, I’ve done it, and when I see someone getting ready to treat me like that, I’m like hold my beer, I’ve got this and watch out you may not like what you get.
I’m very happy I came across this website. People have been intimidated by my attitude, which can cause insecurities in me. Part of my transition right now I think.
Plus a little disappointing from the ones I love, they should know me by now, but for some reason they think I should conform to be more like them. I just can’t.
Talking here has helped me top work this out in my head and discover, I’m not a freak. It’s ok to live life on your own terms, and as I always encourage people to do, go out there and just be you! Live life to its fullest for you and let that freak flag fly and be proud of it, it’s yours you made it! Good for you!
Thank you for letting me share and work through this road block I’ve hit. I hit it so hard up until this very moment, I was paralyzed. Knowing what I want, but paralyzed to do anything about it. I keep feeling a time restraint. Actually that’s funny, I control the restraints, and there is no time restraints. Just start, it will all work out it always does.
God’s luck to all who are on this wonderful journey. BE YOU! BE HAPPY! LOVE THAT ABOUT YOURSELF, NOT EVERYONE HAD OUR COURAGE! FEEL YOUR ROAR!
I can relate to this 99% of the time. I love walking my own path authentically and finding the freedom in that. But every once in a while I seem to stumble into a dilemma. For example, today a friend was talking to me about a potential opportunity that could alter my life seemingly for the better. After giving it careful thought, I decided that I was not interested/ready. However, my friend gave an argument that a lot of society seems to agree with; in order to truly grow, you have to do the things you initially don’t want to do because it will benefit you and be worth all the struggle. And then the problem is I start doubting whether what I thought I wanted to do in my life is truly authentic? How do I know what is authentic? And it becomes a confusing thing! Anyone here experience anything similar?
every one gets to that point at some point.
I’m sorry. I didn’t know.
Wow. It really fits me.
Mateo
Everything you say here has been true for me, long before I discovered LONERWOLF.
I grew up in a very conservative fundamentalist religion (cult), at 23 I walked away, I had to, to save my soul from the dishonesty of pretending to believe what I had never really believed, it was an act of social suicide, we self isolated and when I walked out the door of that church for the last time I did not know a single person who did not belong to “my” religion, I was a lone wolf in disguise before that day, I have been a lone wolf in the open ever since, it has been hard and lonely most of the time, but it is true for me. I have no one I can talk to about this stuff in person, never have had, maybe I never will, it’s good that you and Luna have made this forum so we can at least write about it and share the experiences of others.
Gracias TresOjos for sharing your experience. I can’t imagine how much courage it takes to leave all the known including your close social ties to find that which feels truer and more real. The one thing I learned from my experience is that my owning who you really are, even if it turns us into ‘lone wolves’ for a while, you end up attracting the right people that like you just as you are. They are far in between, but they see the ‘real you’ and not just the social mask we’ve all learned to wear.
The wolf in me salutes the wolf in you.