If there is any advice I would universally give to every person, regardless of who they are, it is this: walk your own path.
Walk your own damn path.
Don’t walk someone else’s path. Don’t walk the path your parents predestined for you just because you feel emotionally indebted to them. Don’t walk a path that appears to be yours, but is actually society’s fabricated ideal of who you ‘should’ be. Don’t walk a path just because you fell into it and it’s “good enough.” Don’t walk a path that you feel a sense of enslaved duty towards because it’s what you “need to be” doing according to dominant sociocultural standards.
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Walk your own path. That means CHOOSING your own path in a very conscious way. This is an act of spiritual self-sovereignty.
Table of contents
What is a Lone Wolf?
A lone wolf personality is typically defined as a person (or animal) who prefers to spend time alone rather than being in a group. However, within this website, lone wolf refers to a person who has listened to their calling and has left behind their old life, thus rendering them alone or alienated from others. We all possess an inner wolf that thirsts for freedom, truth, and authenticity. If we seek to live a meaningful life, if we want to fulfill our destiny and spiritual purpose, it’s our job to listen to that inner wolf and embrace our sacred wild nature.
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What does your inner lone wolf want you to know?
Why Most People Are Terrified of Walking Their Own Path
Although choosing your own path may initially sound very empowering, there’s a reason why most people prefer to follow the herd.
First Reason:
Firstly, walking your own path means that you might be REJECTED by others. You might be gossiped about, thought of in disparaging ways (e.g., as a “kook,” “oddball,” “idiot”), and outright alienated or estranged from other people. Sometimes those people who reject you are those closest to you. And what could be more painful than losing a family member, friend, or even partner?
As a species, we’re biologically programmed to seek approval because acceptance equals survival. Inevitably, doing anything that may cause us to be rejected sets off those deep, primal alarm bells and raises the hairs on the back of our necks. I would go so far as saying that walking your own path guarantees that at some point someone will look down on you and say, “what on earth are you doing, you imbecile?”
Second Reason:
The second reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s a hell of a lotta work. No one is out there giving you a map, a set of rules, or instructions that tell you what to do. YOU have to be responsible for figuring it all out from scratch.
It kind of feels like stumbling through the dark in a room full of sharp objects. You will make mistakes. You will fall flat and land smack bang on your face. You will feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and a lot of other uncomfortable emotions that come with doing something completely radical.
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And on a mental and emotional level, most people see that. Most people understand, on some superficial level, the consequences and therefore prefer the cozy, comfortable, and bland mediocrity of society-prescribed living.
Third Reason:
The third reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s “too much” RESPONSIBILITY.
When you take your path into your own hands, YOU are responsible. There’s no one to blame, point the finger at, whine about, or feel victimized by. You are the worker, boss, innovator, and creator all-in-one. Instead of someone else holding all the cards, you hold all the cards, and it is ultimately your problem if you wind up feeling shitty with what you do. Most people can’t handle that.
Most people like the comfy confines of their cages because it makes them feel justified about feeling like a “poor little” victim of life. Instead of taking self-responsibility, it’s much easier to dump the burden onto someone else’s shoulders and feel self-righteously empowered through blame.
Fourth Reason:
And last, but not least, the fourth reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that they don’t know where to start. Some don’t even know that there is another path, to begin with.
We seem to be raised in cultures that tell us that there are a limited number of paths, aka. the paths that are taught by the big money-making University and College industries.
In school, we are conditioned to believe that going to University is the only path towards developing a legitimately “fulfilling” career path … and that getting a properly certified career path somehow equals happiness. Very few of us are even taught about other equally, if not fulfilling paths. Spirituality isn’t even touched on in most cases.
So when we do stumble upon the possibility of taking a new path that goes against the grain, we are not only intimidated but also invalidated by our social conditioning.
Many people believe that the only way to know you’re walking a “proper” or valuable is if you get the approval of social institutions (or shall I say social marketplaces) in the form of degrees and PhDs. The deep distrust we are conditioned to develop in ourselves paralyzes our ability to act. So many of us never make anything of our dreams – they just fester in the back corners of our minds.
13 Weird and Wonderful Benefits of Walking Your Own Path
So far we’ve focused only on the negative side of walking your own path and being a lone wolf. But what about the breathtaking, exciting, blood-tingly-good benefits?
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When comparing the negatives and positives side by side, let me tell you, the negatives pale in comparison to what you can expect to experience.
Yes, being different and being a lone wolf walking your own path can be uncomfortable, tiring, confusing, and alienating at times – BUT there are so many rewards to reap from this courageous way of living. Some include:
- You’re free to follow your true soul path
- You’ll innovate and create to your heart’s utmost desire
- You’ll connect with people who truly support and nourish you (your soul family)
- You’ll experience tremendous mental, emotional, and spiritual growth
- You’ll become the person you are destined to be
- You’ll make a real difference in the life of others
- You feel more ALIVE
- Gratitude, excitement, and joy come more easily
- Many unexpected doors open to you
- You feel more vibrant and energized
- You feel a sense of self-respect for courageously pursuing your life purpose
- You get to experience the thrill of exploring unknown territory
- You can go to sleep at night feeling happy and content
Read: How to Find Yourself When You’re Lost in Life »
Does walking your own path always mean that you’ll have to embrace being a lone wolf or social outsider? No, not always. Maybe your life purpose really is entering statistics into a data file in an office. Maybe it’s simply being an acceptable member of society. (If you feel empowered by that or like it’s for a greater purpose, all the more power to you!)
But I would argue that there’s a difference between defensive complacency (e.g., “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m perfectly happy in this path/job, thank you very much”) and real fulfillment.
Spiritual Awakening and Being a Lone Wolf
Spiritually speaking, we’re all required to walk the path of the lone wolf sooner or later. Those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and/or dark night of the soul know this all too well. Quite frankly, it’s impossible to keep conforming to society’s expectations and values after the veil has been pulled from our eyes. The old ways will eventually crumble. Something must give.
So, why is walking the path of the lone wolf an inseparable part of the spiritual awakening journey? The answer is that to begin the spiritual path in the first place we must leave the familiar. We must walk alone. We must go on a voyage into the Great Unknown. (If you’re familiar with mythologist Joseph Campbell’s ‘Hero’s Journey,’ or the Tarot’s Fool card, you’ll understand this.)
But what triggers this initial awakening and desire to go solo?
At a certain point in our lives, we look around at everything and everyone around us and think, “there’s got to be more.” We’re no longer fulfilled. Life feels empty. WE feel empty. This thirst for something deeper and greater than material pursuit is what initiates us onto the path of the lone wolf.
Why is it called “the path of the lone wolf”? The reason why I call it the lone wolf path is that it can initially be a very lonely path. WE must be the ones to reconnect with our inner courage, discernment, and wild internal compass to walk the path well – NO ONE else can do this work for us.
And without embodying the inner strength, resilience, and intelligence represented by the wolf, we can easily fall back into the soulless and oftentimes destructive life lived by the billions of sheep out there.
How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path
Walking your own path, on some level, always requires a conscious choice in which you say “YES, this feels true to me and what my Soul really craves for.” Even if you accidentally stumble onto that path, walking an authentic path always requires some level of self-awareness.
At some point in your life journey, you’ll need to embrace being a lone wolf. You’ll have to go at it alone. You’ll have to go against the grain, break free from the herd, ask the difficult questions, and face the confronting truths which may alienate you from others.
You’ll need to be discerning, see through the bullshit, shrug off the haters, and keep moving forward, even if you’re tired of fighting.
Being a lone wolf means being a spiritual warrior. It means standing up for what you believe in and courageously walking into the wild unknown.
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It’s all worth it. I can assure you of that and I can keep asserting it until I turn black and blue – but ultimately you must discover this for yourself. Don’t take anything I say as truth unless you have experienced it directly.
If you’re drawn towards embracing your inner wolf, beginning your spiritual journey, and courageously walking your own path, here are some helpful pointers:
1. Understand and accept that there will be some backlash
Whether from your friends, family members, or society at large, you will inevitably encounter naysayers. At some point, you’ll be met with cynics, killjoys, and sourpusses who seek to bring you down to their level. The reason why they fight against you is that, in their minds, you invalidate their way of existence. By courageously forging your own path you are causing them to reflect on their own lives and decisions. If on some level, they’ve realized that they’ve followed the crowd and made no unique decisions of their own, they’ll feel a sense of resentment which they’ll project onto you.
Although it’s not nice to be on the receiving end of this, understand that the issue lies with them, not you. Everyone walking a path with a heart will experience social unease at some point – you’re certainly not alone in facing this problem. Just keep moving forward and remind yourself that it’s no one’s place to dictate what your life should be like except you.
2. Ask yourself, “What do I truly and deeply want?”
This is not a question you ask just once, this is a question you continuously ask on your path, thousands of times over. Keep bringing back your focus on what you desire on the deepest level – not what others want to project or dump onto you.
What do you feel called to do? What do you wish to accomplish in your life? What wild paths are you afraid to take because they are so alien – but that you feel secretly drawn towards?
Our paths are not static: they’re constantly shifting, evolving, and changing. By repeatedly asking yourself this question, you’ll be able to reinvent yourself over and over again. Instead of getting stuck in an old and stagnant way of living, you will be in tune with your Soul.
Read: Soul Searching: 7 Ways to Uncover Your True Path »
3. Question everything
Being a lone wolf and walking your own path go hand-in-hand with a sharp mind. How are we to discover what is our “stuff” vs. other’s “stuff” if we can’t be discerning? How can we learn what is true and what is deceptive without the ability to analyze?
Your mind is a tool that needs to be sharpened. Without having a sharp mind, it’s easy to fall into delusion, naivety, and stumble into rabbit holes which lead to great confusion. Without the ability to use critical thought (and balance that with an open heart), you can easily fall prey to emotional and spiritual predators out there.
Your ability to be discerning is your protective sword on your path. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be discerning! Don’t let anyone convince you of anything until you have experienced it yourself.
Read: The Dangers of Lacking Spiritual Discernment »
4. Love yourself and be your own best friend
Embracing the path of the wolf and taking responsibility for your life can be lonely. If you are your own worst enemy, your path will be a million times harder. But if you can focus some of that energy on learning to love and accept yourself exactly the way you are (warts and all), your path will be a million times easier.
You are with yourself 24/7 and you’re the only person who has been there by your side through everything … doesn’t it make sense to like who you are? Doesn’t it make sense to enjoy spending time with yourself? In my experience it absolutely does. Practicing self-compassion and learning how to love yourself are two of the most powerful tools and strengths you can possess. Ever.
5. Know yourself
Strive to learn a little bit more about yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses each and every day. Self-discovery and self-understanding are tremendously important facets of walking your own path. As the wise master, Lao Tzu once wrote, “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” Only when you can come to deeply know yourself can you truly embrace who you are and walk your path with confidence.
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6. Feel the fear, but act anyway
Walking the path of the lone wolf will inevitably confront you with some scary and intimidating situations. Even just starting the path can be terrifying.
Following your heart and listening to your calling is not as sunshine-and-roses as many people make it out to be. Often it requires tremendous sacrifice and the ability to look fear straight in the face without turning away.
While I am not a perfect example, I have learned as a rule that feeling the fear but acting anyway is a good choice (in most cases). Obviously, if you’re facing a life-threatening situation it would be better to pause and probably run the opposite way.
But if the fear you’re feeling is emotional or psychological be gentle with yourself and keep pushing forward. Hold your goal in mind, reaffirm your worthiness and inner strength, and keep going. Don’t let anything or anyone try to bring you down. And if you do fall down, keep picking yourself up, over and over again. Remember, you can do anything, just do it afraid. Have the courage to be vulnerable.
7. Let your wild nature guide you
You are both human and divine – accept this. Embrace the wild and non-rational part of you that serves as your inner compass. Listen to your gut feelings and let your animal self be filled with passion. You don’t have to be tamed or repressed any longer.
Walking your own path and embracing the lone wolf side of you means that you finally have freedom. You have the freedom to feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the earth beneath your feet. Your life is your making. Your destiny is in your hands.
Make sure that you get out of your mind and into your body; into your heart, blood, and bones … what are they telling you? Honor the wisdom in your instinctual nature. Honor the wild and raw passion pulsating deep within. Harness this passion and let it guide and motivate you.
There is no point walking a path that you do not feel passionate about. Let the wolf within you howl loudly and freely. Remember that YOU are both the traveler and the path all-in-one. The compass you need for your path is always within. Be careful of looking for it outside of yourself. While others may be able to shine a light on your path, ultimately the greatest guiding light is your own Soul.
Read: 7 Signs You’re a Free Spirit »
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What is your experience with walking the path of the lone wolf? What struggles have you faced and how have you overcome them (if at all)? What did it feel like when you broke away from the herd and followed your own path? I’d love to read your response below.
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Sometimes you need to get outside your head and think of what advice you would give to a person in your position. You ultimately know what you need to do, its just a matter of doing it and ignoring the fear telling you not to do it. To master the mind we must learn when to listen to it and when to ignore it whilst also being compassionate with ourselves.
Well said Damien – I think that approach (of contemplating what advice you’d give to someone in your position) is powerful!
I’m so lost and heartbroken and I dont have any idea what to do or where to start I just wanna go home idk what that means but
i dont belong here I only wanna be here for my kids my youngest son needs me especially he is like me but happier cuz life hasn’t kicked him in the balls yet I hate this place like was I dropped off and forgotten here I have no friends nothing I have a vampire soul sucking fake spouse but thg hats it I am on to hos narcissistic behaviors and I’m just lost and dead inside idk I feel I’m not all human that my home is somewhere else I know me and god are close and have something important to do but tome is running out what if I fail idk even know what I’m spose to do I have failed everything all my life . Meds therapy dont help my heart just yurns for something I cant explain . Idk maybe I’m nuts but I’m suffocating and I isolate cuz most ppl bug me but not the ones I know hurt genuinely I see them and feel them when I go out and I wish I could help them hug them idk I’m very confused or just nuts idk thanks for letting me vent my souls just crying for the whole world and myself ugh wish I could get some instructions or clarity from real family up in the sky whoever they are thanks and sorry I really am not crazy I know it
Hey Vicki, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Please reach out to a counselor as soon as you can, okay? There is no shame in asking for help again – it’s a sign of strength. Even if the therapy doesn’t totally fix all your problems, having someone else there to support you is beneficial. In fact, I’ve recently requested to see a therapist myself again. We take care of our cars and houses, so why not take care of our minds too? Please also feel free to look around this website; there are many free resources that can help. Sending lots of love, you can get through this one day at a time ❤
hello fellow EMPATH. yes, that is what you are. empathy and being an empath are 2 different things. i suggest that you go on instagram and type in the search bar, “empath” or go onto youtube and look for my friends channel ” Michelle The Mindset Coach” as she will be able to help you and dealing with your situation. Michelle is a very kind soul with losts of compassion for us. what your experiencing when you go around people, feeling how they feel, sometimes feeling what they are thinking. yea, i can do that also. when you learn what your powers are, its becomes alittle easier to enjoy them. you are not crazy, your just waking up. being a HSP highly sensitive person, has its challenges. and if hubby is a narsist, then im not supprized as they love to pray on empaths, and suck the life out of us. unfortinatly, we can not help them. i suggest you talk to michelle on all that.
Dave
Vicki, you are not alone. There are many, many people (including me) who feel like we don’t belong on this planet. It’s a deep feeling of never fitting in, of never being understood. The trick is to stop trying to belong. You’re unique. Embrace that. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, do your research on YouTube to educate yourself about what a narc is. If he is one, find a way to safely get away from him. Your mission is to protect your kids and let them know they are loved. You’re not crazy, you’re just a very sensitive soul living on a very insensitive planet. Be strong for your kids and yourself.
There are Lots of layers here. The bit that sticks out for me is reference the real family in the sky. Look up Starseed you may find some answers there.
Hey you are not alone as you think lots of awaken souls facing that I never fit in everywhere daily struggle life meaningless and find who am I not that easy but I know this will end and will find something I dunno what. Soo keep learning universe will teach great things.
Thank you for this article. I am very alone at the moment. Over the past year I had a spiritual awakening, I no longer resonate with any old friendships. I have very few people left in my life, but I refuse to not be authentic or settle any longer. I desire a life of freedom and soul deep connections. I worry that I won’t find my soul family, this is what brings me the most fear, that I’ll be alone forever.
That’s a totally normal fear Ursa, to “be alone forever.” But it’s unrealistic. Life is always in a state of change (that’s the only unchangeable/constant thing!). So you *will* eventually find those who resonate with you. Just take small steps to reach out to others, join groups, go to meetups – it’s much better to take action than to stay passive. Passivity equals stagnation, which can lead to depression. So keep moving. You will stay inspired and hopeful. ♡
I have never strayed from my lone wolf path. I am finding life extremely painful now and I do not, must I repeat, I do not like the subject of “Homophobia”. That is not what that is! Oi! CAT
Well, Honestly The Adventure Sounds So Good To My Soul Right Now, I Can Feel It and Almost Hear The Sounds Of Laughter From Finding A Tribe. My Age Bothers Me, But Then I Think Of That Song By Tina Turner “What’s Love Got To Do With It” And Just Change It To “Age Got To Do With It.”
My Last Spirit Animal Test Revealed Wolf and I Have A Gypsy Soul.
The Ocean Is Calling My Name, I Know Soon I Must Go…
Thank You, Love and Light To You Both
i get exactly what your saying
People come and go. It hurts so much but ultimately it’s up to me to procure what it is I seek. Saying is easier said than done my friends. That’s where an almost blind faith in yourself comes in. Trust it. Meditate or pray on it. Take your time if need be. A piece of advise: Never fully trust someone else. This is where it gets hard redefining love or manipulation. This is my struggle right now. They know not what they do. Then again there are some who do. It’s hard to decipher.
This article is really interesting. Lately I’ve been really questioning things and wanting or more like needing to be alone, away from people (friends and family), the media, society, just everything and take a deep look at myself and the world around me. I feel as if this is just the Beginning of my path and I have a long way to go but I willing to take the steps. I realized that I don’t really know my self and understand/ have the answers like I once Previously thought I did. Thanks for this article it’s was really interesting and made me realize I was on the right path and have hope that things is going to be ok in the future. Also made me dawn on the thought that it isn’t going to be easy and I’m going to have to gain and learn a lot of skills, knowledge, and wisdom to help me on my path as knowledge is the most powerful things you can have in the modern day world. But anyways I think you should write a boot about this and if not could you recommend me some books about the lone wolf path? Peace be
Upon you, much love!
Thank you Avante, it means a lot knowing how much you can relate to this path and what we’ve shared. If you’re after books that explore this, in a fictional setting, The Stranger by Albert Camus is a great journey into it.
Much love :)
Experience this aswell and I’m going on my own wolf path
A great article Mateo, thank you. As an only child I can validate every point you make in my own life experience. I am now in my senior years and can honestly say that being a “lone wolf” is not an easy path but is personally and spiritually rewarding in the ways you describe. As an older person being able to reflect on one’s life with love, and gratitude is a truly special thing.
Love your work and many thanks!
Mark
I have read quite a few of your articles now. I have always been drawn to the wolf. I have always looked to outside earthly things to fill my void. I have done your right quite a lot of inner work. My childhood wasnt the greatest sexual abuse, alcoholic and addict parents. Yet even through that I managed to stay humbled and to spread love. I have always known and felt there is something more. As a matter a fact pretty much all my life I have questioned everything. I have always been more a of a loner. My circle is small. My recent breakup I was in a downward spiral mentally from my bipolar disorder. Prior to this I had begun seeing things repeatedly. I havev2 kids. I don’t get along with my mother. So when my ex kicked me out I went to my aunts. Self love and self care kept coming up. Finally just before Christmas my kids and I got into a apt. Again even my own pastor self care and self love. So I have been doing this. But again more repetitive things. Mostly about empathy and intuitive, old souls, and seekers. I begin listening and doing journal, meditation, mindfulness, allowing negative thoughts to flow through me, and Crystal’s I love crystals and always have. Then I keep reading and searching for everything I can learn and read. I came across you 2 and feel like I have found my home.
Crystal
Your words are beautiful and powerful guides for the self awareness, soul awakening journey of the lone wolf. Everything written I know to be true through personal experience and intuition. The heart, soul and mind ache of living in fear (sooooo many facets, avenues and ways of doing so) and courageously, step by step choosing love. My deepest gratitude to you and Luna for creating this space.
Thank you Mariah for such lovely words, the heart is a powerful force to reconnect back with the Soul. We’re so grateful to be able to hold space through this website :)
It is unbelievable the energy you guys are putting out into the world , touching so many people so profoundly , me for one.I am now opening up to my life purpose and you are the teachers that I soo badly need to energize me thanks you soo much for such a wonderful insight. Ben
Thank you Ben, the internet is a wonderful medium. Like a massive ocean, each of us a stone that can send ripples far and wide :)
Wow just reading what this group is about described my life perfectly. I can’t believe I am walking the path that so many of you are. It’s like Lonerwolf was speaking to me only and telling me about my whole lives journey. It’s been a lonely journey trying to be what I think I am supposed to be. I have never been the person that I feel like I am deep down inside. I just joined tonight and I really appreciate the many points you have hit on that drove home to me.
Since the women today are nothing at all like the past which has a lot to do with it.