If there is any advice I would universally give to every person, regardless of who they are, it is this: walk your own path.
Walk your own damn path.
Don’t walk someone else’s path. Don’t walk the path your parents predestined for you just because you feel emotionally indebted to them. Don’t walk a path that appears to be yours, but is actually society’s fabricated ideal of who you ‘should’ be. Don’t walk a path just because you fell into it and it’s “good enough.” Don’t walk a path that you feel a sense of enslaved duty towards because it’s what you “need to be” doing according to dominant sociocultural standards.
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Walk your own path. That means CHOOSING your own path in a very conscious way. This is an act of spiritual self-sovereignty.
Table of contents
What is a Lone Wolf?
A lone wolf personality is typically defined as a person (or animal) who prefers to spend time alone rather than being in a group. However, within this website, lone wolf refers to a person who has listened to their calling and has left behind their old life, thus rendering them alone or alienated from others. We all possess an inner wolf that thirsts for freedom, truth, and authenticity. If we seek to live a meaningful life, if we want to fulfill our destiny and spiritual purpose, it’s our job to listen to that inner wolf and embrace our sacred wild nature.
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What does your inner lone wolf want you to know?
Why Most People Are Terrified of Walking Their Own Path
Although choosing your own path may initially sound very empowering, there’s a reason why most people prefer to follow the herd.
First Reason:
Firstly, walking your own path means that you might be REJECTED by others. You might be gossiped about, thought of in disparaging ways (e.g., as a “kook,” “oddball,” “idiot”), and outright alienated or estranged from other people. Sometimes those people who reject you are those closest to you. And what could be more painful than losing a family member, friend, or even partner?
As a species, we’re biologically programmed to seek approval because acceptance equals survival. Inevitably, doing anything that may cause us to be rejected sets off those deep, primal alarm bells and raises the hairs on the back of our necks. I would go so far as saying that walking your own path guarantees that at some point someone will look down on you and say, “what on earth are you doing, you imbecile?”
Second Reason:
The second reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s a hell of a lotta work. No one is out there giving you a map, a set of rules, or instructions that tell you what to do. YOU have to be responsible for figuring it all out from scratch.
It kind of feels like stumbling through the dark in a room full of sharp objects. You will make mistakes. You will fall flat and land smack bang on your face. You will feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and a lot of other uncomfortable emotions that come with doing something completely radical.
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And on a mental and emotional level, most people see that. Most people understand, on some superficial level, the consequences and therefore prefer the cozy, comfortable, and bland mediocrity of society-prescribed living.
Third Reason:
The third reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s “too much” RESPONSIBILITY.
When you take your path into your own hands, YOU are responsible. There’s no one to blame, point the finger at, whine about, or feel victimized by. You are the worker, boss, innovator, and creator all-in-one. Instead of someone else holding all the cards, you hold all the cards, and it is ultimately your problem if you wind up feeling shitty with what you do. Most people can’t handle that.
Most people like the comfy confines of their cages because it makes them feel justified about feeling like a “poor little” victim of life. Instead of taking self-responsibility, it’s much easier to dump the burden onto someone else’s shoulders and feel self-righteously empowered through blame.
Fourth Reason:
And last, but not least, the fourth reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that they don’t know where to start. Some don’t even know that there is another path, to begin with.
We seem to be raised in cultures that tell us that there are a limited number of paths, aka. the paths that are taught by the big money-making University and College industries.
In school, we are conditioned to believe that going to University is the only path towards developing a legitimately “fulfilling” career path … and that getting a properly certified career path somehow equals happiness. Very few of us are even taught about other equally, if not fulfilling paths. Spirituality isn’t even touched on in most cases.
So when we do stumble upon the possibility of taking a new path that goes against the grain, we are not only intimidated but also invalidated by our social conditioning.
Many people believe that the only way to know you’re walking a “proper” or valuable is if you get the approval of social institutions (or shall I say social marketplaces) in the form of degrees and PhDs. The deep distrust we are conditioned to develop in ourselves paralyzes our ability to act. So many of us never make anything of our dreams – they just fester in the back corners of our minds.
13 Weird and Wonderful Benefits of Walking Your Own Path
So far we’ve focused only on the negative side of walking your own path and being a lone wolf. But what about the breathtaking, exciting, blood-tingly-good benefits?
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When comparing the negatives and positives side by side, let me tell you, the negatives pale in comparison to what you can expect to experience.
Yes, being different and being a lone wolf walking your own path can be uncomfortable, tiring, confusing, and alienating at times – BUT there are so many rewards to reap from this courageous way of living. Some include:
- You’re free to follow your true soul path
- You’ll innovate and create to your heart’s utmost desire
- You’ll connect with people who truly support and nourish you (your soul family)
- You’ll experience tremendous mental, emotional, and spiritual growth
- You’ll become the person you are destined to be
- You’ll make a real difference in the life of others
- You feel more ALIVE
- Gratitude, excitement, and joy come more easily
- Many unexpected doors open to you
- You feel more vibrant and energized
- You feel a sense of self-respect for courageously pursuing your life purpose
- You get to experience the thrill of exploring unknown territory
- You can go to sleep at night feeling happy and content
Read: How to Find Yourself When You’re Lost in Life »
Does walking your own path always mean that you’ll have to embrace being a lone wolf or social outsider? No, not always. Maybe your life purpose really is entering statistics into a data file in an office. Maybe it’s simply being an acceptable member of society. (If you feel empowered by that or like it’s for a greater purpose, all the more power to you!)
But I would argue that there’s a difference between defensive complacency (e.g., “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m perfectly happy in this path/job, thank you very much”) and real fulfillment.
Spiritual Awakening and Being a Lone Wolf
Spiritually speaking, we’re all required to walk the path of the lone wolf sooner or later. Those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and/or dark night of the soul know this all too well. Quite frankly, it’s impossible to keep conforming to society’s expectations and values after the veil has been pulled from our eyes. The old ways will eventually crumble. Something must give.
So, why is walking the path of the lone wolf an inseparable part of the spiritual awakening journey? The answer is that to begin the spiritual path in the first place we must leave the familiar. We must walk alone. We must go on a voyage into the Great Unknown. (If you’re familiar with mythologist Joseph Campbell’s ‘Hero’s Journey,’ or the Tarot’s Fool card, you’ll understand this.)
But what triggers this initial awakening and desire to go solo?
At a certain point in our lives, we look around at everything and everyone around us and think, “there’s got to be more.” We’re no longer fulfilled. Life feels empty. WE feel empty. This thirst for something deeper and greater than material pursuit is what initiates us onto the path of the lone wolf.
Why is it called “the path of the lone wolf”? The reason why I call it the lone wolf path is that it can initially be a very lonely path. WE must be the ones to reconnect with our inner courage, discernment, and wild internal compass to walk the path well – NO ONE else can do this work for us.
And without embodying the inner strength, resilience, and intelligence represented by the wolf, we can easily fall back into the soulless and oftentimes destructive life lived by the billions of sheep out there.
How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path
Walking your own path, on some level, always requires a conscious choice in which you say “YES, this feels true to me and what my Soul really craves for.” Even if you accidentally stumble onto that path, walking an authentic path always requires some level of self-awareness.
At some point in your life journey, you’ll need to embrace being a lone wolf. You’ll have to go at it alone. You’ll have to go against the grain, break free from the herd, ask the difficult questions, and face the confronting truths which may alienate you from others.
You’ll need to be discerning, see through the bullshit, shrug off the haters, and keep moving forward, even if you’re tired of fighting.
Being a lone wolf means being a spiritual warrior. It means standing up for what you believe in and courageously walking into the wild unknown.
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It’s all worth it. I can assure you of that and I can keep asserting it until I turn black and blue – but ultimately you must discover this for yourself. Don’t take anything I say as truth unless you have experienced it directly.
If you’re drawn towards embracing your inner wolf, beginning your spiritual journey, and courageously walking your own path, here are some helpful pointers:
1. Understand and accept that there will be some backlash
Whether from your friends, family members, or society at large, you will inevitably encounter naysayers. At some point, you’ll be met with cynics, killjoys, and sourpusses who seek to bring you down to their level. The reason why they fight against you is that, in their minds, you invalidate their way of existence. By courageously forging your own path you are causing them to reflect on their own lives and decisions. If on some level, they’ve realized that they’ve followed the crowd and made no unique decisions of their own, they’ll feel a sense of resentment which they’ll project onto you.
Although it’s not nice to be on the receiving end of this, understand that the issue lies with them, not you. Everyone walking a path with a heart will experience social unease at some point – you’re certainly not alone in facing this problem. Just keep moving forward and remind yourself that it’s no one’s place to dictate what your life should be like except you.
2. Ask yourself, “What do I truly and deeply want?”
This is not a question you ask just once, this is a question you continuously ask on your path, thousands of times over. Keep bringing back your focus on what you desire on the deepest level – not what others want to project or dump onto you.
What do you feel called to do? What do you wish to accomplish in your life? What wild paths are you afraid to take because they are so alien – but that you feel secretly drawn towards?
Our paths are not static: they’re constantly shifting, evolving, and changing. By repeatedly asking yourself this question, you’ll be able to reinvent yourself over and over again. Instead of getting stuck in an old and stagnant way of living, you will be in tune with your Soul.
Read: Soul Searching: 7 Ways to Uncover Your True Path »
3. Question everything
Being a lone wolf and walking your own path go hand-in-hand with a sharp mind. How are we to discover what is our “stuff” vs. other’s “stuff” if we can’t be discerning? How can we learn what is true and what is deceptive without the ability to analyze?
Your mind is a tool that needs to be sharpened. Without having a sharp mind, it’s easy to fall into delusion, naivety, and stumble into rabbit holes which lead to great confusion. Without the ability to use critical thought (and balance that with an open heart), you can easily fall prey to emotional and spiritual predators out there.
Your ability to be discerning is your protective sword on your path. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to be discerning! Don’t let anyone convince you of anything until you have experienced it yourself.
Read: The Dangers of Lacking Spiritual Discernment »
4. Love yourself and be your own best friend
Embracing the path of the wolf and taking responsibility for your life can be lonely. If you are your own worst enemy, your path will be a million times harder. But if you can focus some of that energy on learning to love and accept yourself exactly the way you are (warts and all), your path will be a million times easier.
You are with yourself 24/7 and you’re the only person who has been there by your side through everything … doesn’t it make sense to like who you are? Doesn’t it make sense to enjoy spending time with yourself? In my experience it absolutely does. Practicing self-compassion and learning how to love yourself are two of the most powerful tools and strengths you can possess. Ever.
5. Know yourself
Strive to learn a little bit more about yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses each and every day. Self-discovery and self-understanding are tremendously important facets of walking your own path. As the wise master, Lao Tzu once wrote, “He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” Only when you can come to deeply know yourself can you truly embrace who you are and walk your path with confidence.
See our psychological and spiritual free tests »
6. Feel the fear, but act anyway
Walking the path of the lone wolf will inevitably confront you with some scary and intimidating situations. Even just starting the path can be terrifying.
Following your heart and listening to your calling is not as sunshine-and-roses as many people make it out to be. Often it requires tremendous sacrifice and the ability to look fear straight in the face without turning away.
While I am not a perfect example, I have learned as a rule that feeling the fear but acting anyway is a good choice (in most cases). Obviously, if you’re facing a life-threatening situation it would be better to pause and probably run the opposite way.
But if the fear you’re feeling is emotional or psychological be gentle with yourself and keep pushing forward. Hold your goal in mind, reaffirm your worthiness and inner strength, and keep going. Don’t let anything or anyone try to bring you down. And if you do fall down, keep picking yourself up, over and over again. Remember, you can do anything, just do it afraid. Have the courage to be vulnerable.
7. Let your wild nature guide you
You are both human and divine – accept this. Embrace the wild and non-rational part of you that serves as your inner compass. Listen to your gut feelings and let your animal self be filled with passion. You don’t have to be tamed or repressed any longer.
Walking your own path and embracing the lone wolf side of you means that you finally have freedom. You have the freedom to feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the earth beneath your feet. Your life is your making. Your destiny is in your hands.
Make sure that you get out of your mind and into your body; into your heart, blood, and bones … what are they telling you? Honor the wisdom in your instinctual nature. Honor the wild and raw passion pulsating deep within. Harness this passion and let it guide and motivate you.
There is no point walking a path that you do not feel passionate about. Let the wolf within you howl loudly and freely. Remember that YOU are both the traveler and the path all-in-one. The compass you need for your path is always within. Be careful of looking for it outside of yourself. While others may be able to shine a light on your path, ultimately the greatest guiding light is your own Soul.
Read: 7 Signs You’re a Free Spirit »
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What is your experience with walking the path of the lone wolf? What struggles have you faced and how have you overcome them (if at all)? What did it feel like when you broke away from the herd and followed your own path? I’d love to read your response below.
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So I came upon your site
I’m a man of few words
I don’t fit in to social butterfly
I’m don’t believe in god or Satan or spirituality?
I’m a misanthrope
But I’m happy in my own company
Kudos to my Girlfriend for accepting me for me
But one day she’ll grow tired of my antisocial and social anxiety
Where do I fit?
Do I want to fit
No I dont
Hi Mateo and Aletheia,
First time reader/learner from NZ. Good stuff. Yes, I think the Christian era is over. Time to find a new way. Cheers
I’ve thankfully stumbled across this page. And read your amazing stories.
I’ve personally stopped conforming to the word and it’s worldly charms. Have left 20yrs of Christian life and taken a new direction in my life. A huge weight had been lifted from me and now I feel freer than I’ve ever felt. The baggage of past hurts and disappointment, resentment have gone. Being alone for the first time in my life, it was scary at first. But I’ve come more attune to the idea of being alone without the feeling of loneliness. I like the idea of being different, being more truthful with myself and others. Walking a path of “the lone wolf”, has been a tremendous soulful experience for me. I’ve moved from the city and the city smog to country living. I’ve spent the last 3 yrs studying psychology and alternative
counseling, and the rewards it’s given me have been astounding. I personally set boundaries with people that had become too toxic and put a stop to social media, because of the harm these had caused me. I realised I wasn’t a tree, I moved to live a more peaceful and more fulfilling life. We as soulful, spiritual and mindful people need to follow our own hearts and lives. Even if others don’t agree with it.
My parting words, learn to let go of what’s holding you back, live your life to the fullest and walk your own path, the road you take to life can be absolutely amazing. You never know where it’s going to lead you. Live happy, live free and remain true to yourself.
Love this: “…ultimately the greatest guiding light is your own Soul.”
I have been going through this myself lately. I used to be an evangelical Christian. But I began to question things five years ago. I questioned hell, and a violent God and many other things. I gradually pulled away. In a very difficult time in my life, I went back to the church as I needed social support. But I knew I no longer belonged. Well, I knew deep in my soul, but I didn’t listen until it reached a head. Finally, the time I chose to leave, a new path revealed itself to me – the Pagan / Wiccan path. I saw that I could follow this spiritual path as a solitary practitioner, that I didn’t need to belong to group think, that I could explore it on my own terms – take what I resonate with and discard the rest. That I wouldn’t be accused of falling away or sinning if I didn’t want to follow any of the practices. I’ve chosen this path, but it has been lonely. I have had to keep it a secret from family as it would cause many problems. I have only been able to connect with like-minded people online. At times, I have longed for a group to belong to, but deep inside, I’m not sure if that is good for my soul. I need and crave that autonomy – that ability to choose my own rituals, practices, and beliefs. When I am bombarded with the Christian stuff on social media, sometimes I doubt the path that I have chosen. But my soul keeps on telling me this is the way for me. I just know. I crave it. I want to grow in my magic. So, I’m listening to my soul this time, even though it sometimes seems crazy to me. It has brought me much joy and growth so far.
Thank you Kathy for sharing your magic. I commend your strength for listening to your inner voice, it’s no easy feat to pay close attention to our internal compass when everything outside of ourselves is forcefully against that.
Luna and I can both relate, both being brought up in Christian families (Catholic for me, Fundamentalist for her) we were strongly attracted to this path that we’re currently on. I guess our path could be called Pagan in that we use nature and ritual in our work though we prefer to avoid limiting/misinforming labels. Know that you have a community here, and I hope you can meet more people within your environment that will support you in your transition toward living on this path fully and apologetically :).
My name is Skydancer, I grow up in northern Mn. USA. As a little girl I played with timber wolf, On winter nights we dance on a ice of diamonds underneath the northern lights.He taught me to be a watcher,to listen to people but not what spoken,but what they’spokeninside, if I could trust them. Can I trust you?.
I have just now stumbled upon your website, Mateo. Holy shit, this hits home so hard. As a kid, my family always called me “the smart one” and “going to be an engineer”… and so I got my bachelors degree in Physics/Computer Science and a Masters degree in Software Engineering. 20+ years later I’ve had a “successful” career and am making a 6-figure income, yet… I do not feel fulfilled. I do not feel that I am following my own path.
I’m not sure if I’ve had or am on a spiritual awakening, or for how long, but I’ve been drawn to “the weird stuff” from an early age. As a child, I was teased for being smart (teacher’s pet and all), and in college I was teased/ridiculed for being “out there”.
I am grateful already to have been lead here. Could say much, much more, but want to move on to the next article.
Thank you, from the depth of my heart and soul <3
Thank you Andrew for sharing your journey thus far. I feel like you’re on the right path exploring these topics. It’s especially easy getting lost and losing focus when venturing down the rabbit hole that is the ‘weird stuff’/new age topics. We aim at keeping things as grounded as possible, hopefully among our work you’ll find something that helps provides further clarity as to what may be your true calling toward fulfillment.
I recently read a description of the personality type INFJ in the book Power:Surviving & Thriving after Narcissistic Abuse, by Shahida Arabi.
In reading the chapter titled The Dynamic Duo: Empaths and Narcissists, I was chilled to my soul as she described the statistically proven correlation between Narcissists and their Empathic victims.
I’ve been on a path of self discovery for a few months now. I’ve struggled greatly trying to explain to anyone what I’m doing and why I do it, other than I’ve developed an obsession with learning to love myself again. Maybe not again, for the first time in my life.
There is a Narcissist in my life who has turned my entire world around and led me to find this path of discovering my true self. I don’t know her personally, only of her. Since her entrance into my life, she’s (almost) been able claim the love of my life, the heart of my soul, the reason I live, breathe and exist today, my 5 year old son, Vincent, as her own child.
Ever since my ex-husband filed for divorce very suddenly at a time when I was emotionally and financially vulnerable (homeless), I’ve discovered how her deep tendencies for power, control, and manipulation are, and how she’s able to convince anyone how worthless or expendable they are, even someone she’s never met.
Because my husband and I had always gotten along well before her grand entrance into my life and we both wanted what was best for our son, we decided through Mediation to temporarily grant him full legal custody with weekly visitation with additional time granted to me as it became available. Up to that time had been separated for 3 years with no court involvement and no issues sharing equal time with our son and working around each other’s schedules. I knew he had started seeing someone, but it would be a year after this amicable divorce before I would be granted permission to meet her, for the first, and only time.
Over the next year and a half, my relationship with my son has been completely isolated and controlled by her ability to manipulate everyone into thinking I’m a worthless mother, including myself for a time. I almost didn’t make it out of that dark place, but my son brought me back. Something deep in me told me how much he needed me, and I’ve been facing the music ever since.
I’ve endured many lessons in this experience. I’ve discovered that my strongest, maybe only defense in this battle against someone completely devoid of Empathy who has so many weapons at her disposal (power of manipulation through money, geography, the legal system, even my own son), to erase me from his world.
I have no other weapons other than myself, and my strength within. I can’t explain how I’ve managed to get this far, because I have no idea. And it’s far from over. As I see my inner strength grow I see her growing desperate and becoming enraged and seeking drastic measures to stop my growth. But I will not quit my fight. Not even if I die in it. I will always come back to protect my son.
I came across your website this morning. Ever since reading the chapter on INFJ and taking a personality test online (which was silly, of course, I knew the results), I’ve been struggling as equally as I’ve been thriving on trying to understand who I am and why I’ve always been different. It’s amazing and terrifying to discover my ability to understand myself and others on this level. I’ve gone my whole life unable to understand why I don’t see the world the same way everyone else does. It’s been especially difficult for me to navigate this dangerous battleground I’ve been on when I’ve been completely alone with this powerful weapon of compassion that I haven’t really known how to use.
I want to thank you for your website. I can’t remember exactly how I stumbled across it this morning in my search for strength and answers, but I’m beyond grateful I found it, or it found me. The answers were here, and I can’t thank you enough.
And happy anniversary to you and your enchantingly beautiful wife. :-)
Rinah
ive just read ur article and its hit so many nerves with me ,ive spent years trying to be like everyone else i would drink take drunks (just dabbled never had an addiction) just to try and make connections and friendships with people , ive tried to have relationships with men but have never really loved or the heart to be with any of them, id stay with them because its what “normal”people do …
I love my family to bits and so protective of them .. so i know i do feel emotions lol and would run a mile for any1 but ive always needed my own space and thats when im happiest because of this i have lost friends been called weird a man hater u name it ive been called it lol
Tonight u have made me realise that its ok to be diffrent , its ok to not “need” anyone and if people dont understand thats ok too
but we shouldnt get upset by other peoples ignorances ..
I think being a lonewolf (ess) could be pretty cool !!!
Thank u for a great article xxx
I’m so happy to hear the article provided you with greater clarity about yourself :). It’s true, not everyone has the energy or the interest in having large social groups. As long as we have a few close friends and family in our life, that’s more than enough. For some people, it’s about the depth of connection and for others about the quantity. Neither path is wrong, but each must find what suits them and embrace it wholeheartedly.
My name is Jason. I have been a lonewolf since 2012. As weird as it may come off, mine started when I used cannabis & felt this different awareness, voice in my head woke up & made me understand life is made up of connecting invisible thread. So I became aware & took control of myself with optimist mindset & courage to dare into the unknown. School was a very tough period in my awakening, I was unconventional, different from the lot. All the choices I have made has led me to this very moment in my Life. Now am enlisting for the Navy another journey am going to love. Good read Sir
I felt confused at first but then I started following my soul, I’m free and in love with myself.