Self-realization is one of those phrases that we hear on the spiritual path that goes in one ear and out the other. We don’t give it much thought, yet it’s at the very heart of EVERYTHING.
Without seeing Self-Realization as the ultimate point of the spiritual awakening journey, our paths are vague, blurry, and disjointed.
We don’t really know why we’re doing what we’re doing. And if we do have some faint reason, we never feel truly satisfied because everything we obtain, all the spiritual brownie points we collect, ultimately feel empty and disappointing.
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In fact, when we lose sight of the importance of Self-Realization, our spiritual paths are nothing but one distraction after another.
We become spiritual consumers, dabbling here and there in attractive spiritual “products,” without ever really diving deep.
I call this “Rabbit Hole Spirituality”: like Alice in Wonderland, we’re constantly falling into endless rabbit holes of new trends, exciting practices, and sparkly feel-good philosophies.
But the reality is that we’re lost in a surface world full of superficiality, and eventually, something new will come along and catch our eye, and off into another Rabbit Hole we’ll fall.
Thankfully, there are paths out there that are aligned with a deeper form of spirituality – and all of them lead to Self-Realization in one way or another.
If you’re not quite sure what the hell Self-Realization is, or how to experience it, keep reading.
Table of contents
What is Self-Realization?
There are two definitions of Self-Realization: one is secular, and the other is spiritual.
According to various Western psychological and philosophical traditions, Self-Realization is the fulfillment of our personal potential in life. Essentially, it’s being all that we can be in an unlimited, expansive sense.
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However, according to Eastern spirituality, Self-Realization is the knowledge and embodiment of our True Nature or the Higher Self beyond the ego.
Here we have two strangely conflicting definitions from the East and West.
Which definition is correct?
Actually, neither definition is right or wrong: both are equally relevant as they uphold, and relate to, each other. I’ll explain why next.
The 3 Shamanic Realms of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is not so much of a flashy lights-and-glamor moment as it is a slow and steady process of spiritual unfoldment. This process occurs within the three realms of existence:
- The Middle World
- The Lower World
- The Upper World
Using shamanic terminology, the middle world is the realm where we live everyday life. This is the realm where we go about our daily existence with family, friends, and work colleagues.
The lower world is the downwards and inwards realm where everything hiding beneath the surface dwells. This is the realm of thoughts, feelings, instincts, dreams, unconscious wounds, and at a core level, the Soul.
The upper world is the upwards and outwards realm where we transcend the body, mind, and Soul, and enter the immaterial, eternal Spirit that permeates all layers of existence.
Each Realm Has a Purpose
Within each realm there is a task for us to fulfill:
- In the middle world, the task is ego growth
- In the lower world, the task is Soul embodiment
- In the upper world, the task is Spirit realization (also known as Self-Realization)
As depth psychologist Bill Plotkin writes,
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Ego growth, soul embodiment, and spirit realization are equally vital to growing whole. Although all three components can be engaged concurrently, there is a natural sequence to their unfolding: ego growth is the foundation upon which soul embodiment rests, and the latter, I believe, most effectively galvanizes spirit realization.
Here we see that all three realms build on top of (and support) one another – the ultimate goal being Self-Realization.
The Difference Between self-Realization and Self-Realization
So here we see there are actually two types of Self-Realization.
The West promotes the realization of the self’s (ego’s) fullest potential. This process occurs within the middle and lower world realm. Some Western schools of psychology, such as those that adhere to Carl Jung’s philosophies, also promote Soul realization (also known as the individuation process).
And the East promotes the realization of the Self – that is, liberation from the small fabricated self (ego), and the embodiment of one’s Higher Self or True Nature. This is an upper world path, a path that transcends the personal ego and Soul, and unites us with the Absolute, Unchanging, and Eternal Spirit. This is the path of enlightenment.
Most Western and Eastern schools of thought ignore or deny the importance of all three paths working together in unison. But they are all essential paths to embrace so that we can experience true Self-Realization, just as a tree needs roots, a trunk, and branches to be whole.
The 9 Stages of Spiritual Self-Realization
And should you choose to devote yourself to the ongoing journey of self-realization, you will develop a tremendous sense of respect for who you really are. It is only then that you will come to appreciate the full depth of meaning in the advice: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”
– Michael A. Singer
As I mentioned previously, Self-Realization is not so much one great big moment as it is a gradual process of spiritual unfoldment.
(However, it must be noted here that for some people, Self-Realization does come as one big moment. But for the vast majority of us, it’s a slow and steady process.)
Below you’ll find the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization: from the beginning of the journey, all the way to the end.
Please note that Self-Realization is not necessarily (and often isn’t) a linear process. We often experience a spiral of blossoming and transformation, and it’s common to move forward and backward along this nine-stage journey.
Here are the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization:
1. Self-Awareness
At the beginning of the journey is the dawning of self-awareness. This new awareness may dawn occur sporadically as a result of temporary moments of introspection or, alternatively, this awareness may suddenly erupt into our lives in the form of an unexpected spiritual awakening.
What is self-awareness? Self-awareness is when we become aware of ourselves (from an ego-based standpoint) and how we interact with the world.
Those who are self-aware move away from their previous psychological ignorance (also commonly referred to as “being asleep”) and into greater self-consciousness.
This gaining of sudden self-awareness can be a painful and humbling period as it tends to illuminate many of our harmful thoughts, habits, choices, and ways of relating to the world. And typically, we don’t like what we see. Thus, we either numb ourselves out of denial or enter the path of self-growth (also known as the spiritual path).
2. Self-Exploration
After the shock of awakening to more self-awareness, we’re driven by the desire to explore ourselves more – this is the journey of self-exploration in a nutshell.
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Self-exploration is fuelled by a mixture of curiosity (“Who am I really?”) and dissatisfaction (“I can’t believe I did/said/believed that!”). We want to find out more about personalities and understand our authentic place in life.
Self-exploration often occurs in the middle world (the realm of everyday life) and the purpose of it is to uncover how we think, feel, and behave. To get answers, we seek to gain knowledge and understanding of ourselves through books, workshops, films, courses, therapists, teachers, personality tests, and other psychological and spiritual practices.
3. Self-Discovery
Once we start dabbling in the world of self-exploration, we eventually experience self-discovery, which is what happens when we dig underneath the surface of our egos.
Self-discovery occurs when we move from the “what?” to the “WHY?” While the previous stage (self-exploration) deals with what we like/feel/do/think, self-discovery deals with why we like/feel/do/think everything that emerges inside of us.
In this stage, it’s common to begin various forms of inner work that get to the root of our core selves.
4. Self-Understanding
Self-understanding is a crystallization of the previous three stages: it’s a deep understanding of the dynamics and workings of our ego selves.
People who have reached this stage have a thorough and multi-layered understanding of the origins and reasons why they think, feel, and behave the way they do. Not only have they explored their conscious ego, but they’ve also explored their unconscious mind to meet their shadow selves and other buried core wounds.
Self-Understanding is a lower world path that goes downwards and inwards, touching and revealing the very nature of our Souls.
5. Self-Love
Next is self-love: the stage where we are filled with compassion for ourselves and all that we’ve been through.
As a lower world path, self-love is what happens when we tap into the fundamental nature of our heart and soul: love.
When we love ourselves, we’re fuelled by a deep understanding of ourselves. In fact, without the previous stage (self-understanding) it’s almost impossible to practice self-love because we don’t know what or why we do, think, and feel what we do.
Learning how to love ourselves means that we stop punishing ourselves, start nurturing our inner child, and begin experiencing greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-forgiveness.
6. Self-Transformation
In this stage, we begin to shed our old and limiting habits, perceptions, and compulsions that were created by the false self (ego) and begin to experience transformation.
When we experience self-transformation, we enter a death and rebirth process that can feel uncomfortable and destabilizing at first. But ultimately, any change we undergo is liberating. In other words, we become more Soul-centered instead of ego-centered, and we’re more comfortable in our skin.
Thanks to the previous five stages, we’re able to make space for new growth to occur. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, we feel more expanded, free, and grounded.
7. Self-Mastery
As a culmination of stages 1-6, this stage is about reaping the rewards of a stable and well-adjusted ego. Psychologist Carl Jung referred to this stage as individuation, that is, becoming a whole human being who is connected and aligned with the Soul.
Self-mastery is self-explanatory – it means mastering the false self (or ego) – but not with a tyrannical or domineering stance. Instead, mastering the false self is done with love and understanding.
Instead of being slaves to our egos, we live from the heart and Soul, and our egos are in service to the Soul.
When we experience self-mastery, our inner and outer worlds are balanced (i.e., we are spiritually integrated), and we become the Kings or Queens of our own middle worlds (everyday life) and lower worlds (inner life). We are self-contained, calm, perceptive, wise, compassionate, and lighthearted.
8. Self-Transcendence
Next is self-transcendence which is where we start entering the world of Spirit (or the upper world).
When we walk the path of self-transcendence, we are seeking to move beyond our limited egos and attachment to our Souls, and rest in the deep spiritual Oneness at the center of who we really are.
The desire to self-transcend may come naturally throughout time (as a result of diligently walking the spiritual path), through a sudden mystical experience, profound transpersonal insight, or a deep inner calling to taste ultimate freedom.
Common self-transcendence paths and practices out there include meditation, yogic disciplines, mystical and higher consciousness traditions (Sufism, Gnosticism, Taoism, Buddhism, etc.), self-inquiry, non-dual teachings, contemplation, and so forth.
9. Self-Realization
At last, we come to Self-Realization which is ultimately a gift of grace from Life, Spirit, or the Divine.
While we cannot “achieve” Self-Realization in the linear ego-based sense, we can prepare the soil of our inner garden, so to speak, to receive such a sacred gift.
So how does Self-Realization occur?
Self-Realization occurs when we stop identifying with the limited ego, deepen into a Soul-centered presence, and recognize ourselves as one and the same as the Divine on a visceral level.
Moving past a sense of “me,” “mine,” and “I am …” (aka., the inner stories fabricated by our illusory selves) we come to embody what is referred to as Christ Consciousness, Enlightenment, Buddhahood, Non-Dual Awareness, and Oneness.
Other names for this energetic expansion and shift in awareness are is Nirvana, Heaven, Moksha, Unio Mystica, Samadhi, Cosmic Consciousness, and so on. However, while this inner shift has been given many wildly exciting names, it has also been described as delightfully ordinary and unfathomably simple by those claiming to have tasted it.
Ultimately, to experience Self-Realization is to see through the insubstantiality and impermanence of the ego, the dreamlike nature of thought, and the illusion of attachment to all phenomena, and into the vast, spacious, and eternal presence that exists everywhere.
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$3In this stage, we are free from separation and find our true Home again. What remains is a pure radiance of being, a sacred union with Life, and an ever-deepening blossoming of love, connection, inner peace, and openness to existence.
How to Experience a Taste of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is a journey that could take you a few years, decades, an entire lifetime, or longer. But it is a sacred path that is worth every bit of your time, effort, sincerity, and focus. Ultimately, it is the path of enlightenment, the path of freedom, and the path of love. What could be more meaningful than that?
Now that we’ve explored what Self-Realization is and its nine stages, how can we taste – even just briefly – this experience? (I’m sure you’re curious!)
Here are some methods and practices that can help you to dip into this life-changing experience (although nothing is ever guaranteed):
- Long stretches of meditation (45 minutes or more per day) – Keep in mind that it’s important to work up to the goal of longer meditations, especially if you’re a beginner. Find a style of meditation that feels comfortable and beneficial to you and stick with it for at least a month.
- Plant medicine journeying (with ayahuasca, peyote, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms, marijuana, etc.) – If you have a mental illness, I recommend talking to a therapist beforehand or trying another one of these suggestions (as plant medicine can sometimes negatively exacerbate symptoms). Otherwise, plant medicine is an amazing path that I highly recommend approaching with a clear conscious intention and tons of respect.
- Entering altered states of consciousness (such as through a trance state, lucid dreaming, breathwork, and self-hypnosis) – Remember to be gentle with yourself and go slowly when entering altered states (this can help to prevent overwhelm).
- Nature immersion – Try spending long periods in nature (1+ hours), particularly in wild and untamed areas that aren’t visited by people. Nature has a magical way of opening the heart and mind to new horizons!
If you can recommend any other practices, please share them below!
***
In the words of great Indian sage Ramana Maharshi:
Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.
Perhaps one of the most important things to understand about this topic is that the journey of Self-Realization is not linear. We don’t simply move from point A (Self-Awareness) to point Z (Self-Realization). There is no straight line here. This journey is certainly not logical or simple.
Instead, see Self-Realization as a spiral or a circle. This is a process of unfolding that ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes, opens and closes like the sun, moon, ocean, clouds, and flowers.
In one period of life, we might return back to the basics of learning about ourselves and developing more ego awareness (even after years of doing that kind of work and thinking we’re “done” with that!).
In other parts of life, we might be called to follow a more transcendental path. And then again, we might be called to return to “beginner’s mind” once again.
No part of the journey is better than the other or more needed than the other: each stage is interdependent and divinely entwined.
However, by listening to the various wisdom traditions in the world that contain Self-Realization at their core and by putting our spiritual journeys into context (rather than getting lost in the rabbit holes of spiritual materialism), we can understand the deeper purpose of our lives and inner paths.
May your journey of Self-Realization be deep, expansive, and liberating.
Tell me, what stage do you think you’re in on the journey toward Self-Realization? I’d love to hear about your experiences.
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Excellent article, Mateo. As usual, articles by you & Aletheia resonate on a deep level. I appreciate the work you both have done and your calling to share that with others. I love the way you outline the stages, but as with any of life’s journeys (like the stages of grief) they are not always linear. At least that has been my experience. peace to you both ~ Bob
Thank you Bob for the warm words, I completely agree with the non-linear observation. I mentioned in the article the stages work more like a spiral. The difficulty comes in trying to map out something that is beyond the limits of time-space such as self-realization (literally the moment the self becomes a no-self through transcendence of the past/future linear timeline the “I” or ego identifies its story with).
This was an amazing and informative article. I have been working through stages 1-6 in a spiral formation for a little over a year. It has led to some great inner growth. Thank you.
Thank you Nicole :)
Wonderful! I totally agree with all you say in this superb summary here and have personally experienced quite a bit of it along with some true miracles! Not at all an easy journey but one my soul chose as my goal from way back, encompasses my life purpose, and indeed I have found meaning and inner peace. Still a way to go but ever onward and upward – joyous! It’s everyone’s goal really isn’t it, whether they consciously know it or not?! All warm and best wishes to you and many thanks for your newsletters – I’m an avid and perennial student of the universe. Victoria
Thank you Victoria for your lovely comment, it’s indeed where we’re all heading one way or another, it’s so much easier though when you’re aware of it :).
It is my belief that we are all intrinsically connected to everything and there are no coincidences. I’m trying to embrace the super-sensitivity part of empathy and you both have been there from the beginning of my spiritual journey, a soul connection if you like. It was not by chance I came across your site and as I progress the right answers always appear when I NEED them the most. A truly fascinating Journey. Thank you both.
Thank you Paul, it brings us great joy knowing our work has provided the necessary guidance on your path…it’s exactly what we set out to do and means the world to us :). I look forward to sharing the rest of this journey with you.
I really don’t wish to speak so much about where I am level wise, as I do understand and have understood my true nature for the longest time – Divine. I also have experience the cyclical nature of this process.
I do want to talk of that we have a human side, and we will never transcend that. I don’t believe that my human side or animal nature is necessarily a bad thing or separate from the divine – After all, everything comes from the divine. I’m at the point where everything needs to be accepted, integrated, treated with compassion, and loved. It is a challenge, but necessary. I once heard the term holy means to “make whole.” I think that this is key. We are both animal and divine!
I couldn’t agree more Donald, it’s that very reason we chose the wolf to symbolize the spiritual quest. Spirituality is not about suppressing our animalistic self, it’s rather about cultivating the freedom to choose when to bring this spontaneous wild energy out and when to see its intrinsic pitfalls when not under the guidance of awareness. Anything that provides ‘absolute ruth’ (our true nature) at the expense of sacrificing others truths (our wild self) cannot be by definition absolute.
This is so well written and so relatable. I was at step 6 when I realized I had experienced 1-6 since leaving my home in California, for the first time back in 2013, when I was 23. I am currently going through what I believe is self-mastery but I am also experiencing 8 and 9. I’m currently healing myself of fibromyalgia that I was diagnosed with in 2017 but which I have been living with my whole life, using Anthony William, Medical Medium’s, lifestyle recommendations. I experienced a mystical moment in 2016, it was the first and last time so far that I have ever experienced anything quite like that. It was right before I got really sick. I was doing some breath work trying to get into a meditative state when suddenly I was drenched in a white light but it felt golden because it was such a warm(not temperature) feeling. I could no longer feel my body. I was One with everything and all I could feel was unconditional Love. It was such a life changing experience, when I came back I was sobbing and saying, “thank you, thank you, l love you too, I love you too.” I immediately become vegan after connecting to all life in that way. I believe it was God prepping me for the storm to come. Fibromyalgia has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to live with thus far. And I’ve had my share of loss and hurt prior. I went through dark days when I was really sick and felt very disconnected from God for a few years. But my Spirituality and Faith is now stronger then ever, through my healing journey I’ve been cleansing myself of physical and spiritual toxins and I see now that I am going through a true metamorphosis. I am healing and I am becoming a stronger, better and more aware version of my self. I believe I’m becoming my true self. I recently took your indigo child test and scored a 95. I wonder if that might be why I’m getting a crash course in Self-Awareness. After that mystical moment and right before I got sick I had wanted to study how to become a healer. I felt this overwhelming sensation that I can be a vehicle for God to be move through. This is after years and years of not knowing “what I want to be when I grow up.”I lost that feeling when I got really sick but now that I’m healing and after reading what you wrote on indigo children that feeling of wanting to heal has woken up again. Im still at the beginning of my healing journey but I’ve made it a goal to get to the point where I can learn to help others through some sort of energy work. Thank you for all the awesome information you share. Sorry for the crazy long comment. Blessings
Thank you Alexis for sharing your powerful story thus far :), no need to apologize, we love long comments as they provide much guidance for others who may relate to your experiences. Keep that same sincerity in your journey, it’s the only ingredient to continue on this path.
Yes Mateo is right thanks for sharing your powerful story. The fact that you’re now helping others is amazing! Can’t wait to get there so I can support myself to grow even more
Thank you, you have a way of clarifying the complicated. It appears I’m on 5/6, dabbling in a bit of both, who knew this would turn out to be a life-long journey *smiles*
No problem Verena :). Like all maps, this is far from being the territory, but it provides a starting point to understanding…a signpost if you will. It is indeed a life-long journey, you could say it’s the only journey in life that is worth pursuing to its completion for it’s the only way to experience true liberation.
I’ve been on this spiritual path for about 16 and a half years. I knew that, for some reason, I had worked my way through steps 1 thru 5, but I had no idea that I was working a spiritual path until I read the article.
It seems now, I’m working laterally in ebb/flow way, through stages 6 thru 9.
It happens quite often Laura, it seems like life naturally has a way of driving us down this path when we are receptive to it, it’s only in hindsight you realize what’s actually happening as in the present moment it’s all just an unfolding of experiences. :)
Beautiful! <3
Thank you Shiva :)
Thank you for this.
I find this journey is like an onion, layers of life and experience, some going deep, some superficial, all necessary to re-process events from a higher place.
Lifetimes upon lifetimes to work on self.
Enjoy the ride, it will end soon enough.
So much love
I love the onion analogy, especially as it’s so symbolic of a lack of solid center; there’s nothing in the middle of it yet it exists through the layers that give it shape. Thank you for sharing Teresa :)