Self-realization is one of those phrases that we hear on the spiritual path that goes in one ear and out the other. We don’t give it much thought, yet it’s at the very heart of EVERYTHING.
Without seeing Self-Realization as the ultimate point of the spiritual awakening journey, our paths are vague, blurry, and disjointed.
We don’t really know why we’re doing what we’re doing. And if we do have some faint reason, we never feel truly satisfied because everything we obtain, all the spiritual brownie points we collect, ultimately feel empty and disappointing.
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In fact, when we lose sight of the importance of Self-Realization, our spiritual paths are nothing but one distraction after another.
We become spiritual consumers, dabbling here and there in attractive spiritual “products,” without ever really diving deep.
I call this “Rabbit Hole Spirituality”: like Alice in Wonderland, we’re constantly falling into endless rabbit holes of new trends, exciting practices, and sparkly feel-good philosophies.
But the reality is that we’re lost in a surface world full of superficiality, and eventually, something new will come along and catch our eye, and off into another Rabbit Hole we’ll fall.
Thankfully, there are paths out there that are aligned with a deeper form of spirituality – and all of them lead to Self-Realization in one way or another.
If you’re not quite sure what the hell Self-Realization is, or how to experience it, keep reading.
Table of contents
What is Self-Realization?
There are two definitions of Self-Realization: one is secular, and the other is spiritual.
According to various Western psychological and philosophical traditions, Self-Realization is the fulfillment of our personal potential in life. Essentially, it’s being all that we can be in an unlimited, expansive sense.
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However, according to Eastern spirituality, Self-Realization is the knowledge and embodiment of our True Nature or the Higher Self beyond the ego.
Here we have two strangely conflicting definitions from the East and West.
Which definition is correct?
Actually, neither definition is right or wrong: both are equally relevant as they uphold, and relate to, each other. I’ll explain why next.
The 3 Shamanic Realms of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is not so much of a flashy lights-and-glamor moment as it is a slow and steady process of spiritual unfoldment. This process occurs within the three realms of existence:
- The Middle World
- The Lower World
- The Upper World
Using shamanic terminology, the middle world is the realm where we live everyday life. This is the realm where we go about our daily existence with family, friends, and work colleagues.
The lower world is the downwards and inwards realm where everything hiding beneath the surface dwells. This is the realm of thoughts, feelings, instincts, dreams, unconscious wounds, and at a core level, the Soul.
The upper world is the upwards and outwards realm where we transcend the body, mind, and Soul, and enter the immaterial, eternal Spirit that permeates all layers of existence.
Each Realm Has a Purpose
Within each realm there is a task for us to fulfill:
- In the middle world, the task is ego growth
- In the lower world, the task is Soul embodiment
- In the upper world, the task is Spirit realization (also known as Self-Realization)
As depth psychologist Bill Plotkin writes,
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Ego growth, soul embodiment, and spirit realization are equally vital to growing whole. Although all three components can be engaged concurrently, there is a natural sequence to their unfolding: ego growth is the foundation upon which soul embodiment rests, and the latter, I believe, most effectively galvanizes spirit realization.
Here we see that all three realms build on top of (and support) one another – the ultimate goal being Self-Realization.
The Difference Between self-Realization and Self-Realization
So here we see there are actually two types of Self-Realization.
The West promotes the realization of the self’s (ego’s) fullest potential. This process occurs within the middle and lower world realm. Some Western schools of psychology, such as those that adhere to Carl Jung’s philosophies, also promote Soul realization (also known as the individuation process).
And the East promotes the realization of the Self – that is, liberation from the small fabricated self (ego), and the embodiment of one’s Higher Self or True Nature. This is an upper world path, a path that transcends the personal ego and Soul, and unites us with the Absolute, Unchanging, and Eternal Spirit. This is the path of enlightenment.
Most Western and Eastern schools of thought ignore or deny the importance of all three paths working together in unison. But they are all essential paths to embrace so that we can experience true Self-Realization, just as a tree needs roots, a trunk, and branches to be whole.
The 9 Stages of Spiritual Self-Realization
And should you choose to devote yourself to the ongoing journey of self-realization, you will develop a tremendous sense of respect for who you really are. It is only then that you will come to appreciate the full depth of meaning in the advice: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”
– Michael A. Singer
As I mentioned previously, Self-Realization is not so much one great big moment as it is a gradual process of spiritual unfoldment.
(However, it must be noted here that for some people, Self-Realization does come as one big moment. But for the vast majority of us, it’s a slow and steady process.)
Below you’ll find the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization: from the beginning of the journey, all the way to the end.
Please note that Self-Realization is not necessarily (and often isn’t) a linear process. We often experience a spiral of blossoming and transformation, and it’s common to move forward and backward along this nine-stage journey.
Here are the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization:
1. Self-Awareness
At the beginning of the journey is the dawning of self-awareness. This new awareness may dawn occur sporadically as a result of temporary moments of introspection or, alternatively, this awareness may suddenly erupt into our lives in the form of an unexpected spiritual awakening.
What is self-awareness? Self-awareness is when we become aware of ourselves (from an ego-based standpoint) and how we interact with the world.
Those who are self-aware move away from their previous psychological ignorance (also commonly referred to as “being asleep”) and into greater self-consciousness.
This gaining of sudden self-awareness can be a painful and humbling period as it tends to illuminate many of our harmful thoughts, habits, choices, and ways of relating to the world. And typically, we don’t like what we see. Thus, we either numb ourselves out of denial or enter the path of self-growth (also known as the spiritual path).
2. Self-Exploration
After the shock of awakening to more self-awareness, we’re driven by the desire to explore ourselves more – this is the journey of self-exploration in a nutshell.
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Self-exploration is fuelled by a mixture of curiosity (“Who am I really?”) and dissatisfaction (“I can’t believe I did/said/believed that!”). We want to find out more about personalities and understand our authentic place in life.
Self-exploration often occurs in the middle world (the realm of everyday life) and the purpose of it is to uncover how we think, feel, and behave. To get answers, we seek to gain knowledge and understanding of ourselves through books, workshops, films, courses, therapists, teachers, personality tests, and other psychological and spiritual practices.
3. Self-Discovery
Once we start dabbling in the world of self-exploration, we eventually experience self-discovery, which is what happens when we dig underneath the surface of our egos.
Self-discovery occurs when we move from the “what?” to the “WHY?” While the previous stage (self-exploration) deals with what we like/feel/do/think, self-discovery deals with why we like/feel/do/think everything that emerges inside of us.
In this stage, it’s common to begin various forms of inner work that get to the root of our core selves.
4. Self-Understanding
Self-understanding is a crystallization of the previous three stages: it’s a deep understanding of the dynamics and workings of our ego selves.
People who have reached this stage have a thorough and multi-layered understanding of the origins and reasons why they think, feel, and behave the way they do. Not only have they explored their conscious ego, but they’ve also explored their unconscious mind to meet their shadow selves and other buried core wounds.
Self-Understanding is a lower world path that goes downwards and inwards, touching and revealing the very nature of our Souls.
5. Self-Love
Next is self-love: the stage where we are filled with compassion for ourselves and all that we’ve been through.
As a lower world path, self-love is what happens when we tap into the fundamental nature of our heart and soul: love.
When we love ourselves, we’re fuelled by a deep understanding of ourselves. In fact, without the previous stage (self-understanding) it’s almost impossible to practice self-love because we don’t know what or why we do, think, and feel what we do.
Learning how to love ourselves means that we stop punishing ourselves, start nurturing our inner child, and begin experiencing greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-forgiveness.
6. Self-Transformation
In this stage, we begin to shed our old and limiting habits, perceptions, and compulsions that were created by the false self (ego) and begin to experience transformation.
When we experience self-transformation, we enter a death and rebirth process that can feel uncomfortable and destabilizing at first. But ultimately, any change we undergo is liberating. In other words, we become more Soul-centered instead of ego-centered, and we’re more comfortable in our skin.
Thanks to the previous five stages, we’re able to make space for new growth to occur. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, we feel more expanded, free, and grounded.
7. Self-Mastery
As a culmination of stages 1-6, this stage is about reaping the rewards of a stable and well-adjusted ego. Psychologist Carl Jung referred to this stage as individuation, that is, becoming a whole human being who is connected and aligned with the Soul.
Self-mastery is self-explanatory – it means mastering the false self (or ego) – but not with a tyrannical or domineering stance. Instead, mastering the false self is done with love and understanding.
Instead of being slaves to our egos, we live from the heart and Soul, and our egos are in service to the Soul.
When we experience self-mastery, our inner and outer worlds are balanced (i.e., we are spiritually integrated), and we become the Kings or Queens of our own middle worlds (everyday life) and lower worlds (inner life). We are self-contained, calm, perceptive, wise, compassionate, and lighthearted.
8. Self-Transcendence
Next is self-transcendence which is where we start entering the world of Spirit (or the upper world).
When we walk the path of self-transcendence, we are seeking to move beyond our limited egos and attachment to our Souls, and rest in the deep spiritual Oneness at the center of who we really are.
The desire to self-transcend may come naturally throughout time (as a result of diligently walking the spiritual path), through a sudden mystical experience, profound transpersonal insight, or a deep inner calling to taste ultimate freedom.
Common self-transcendence paths and practices out there include meditation, yogic disciplines, mystical and higher consciousness traditions (Sufism, Gnosticism, Taoism, Buddhism, etc.), self-inquiry, non-dual teachings, contemplation, and so forth.
9. Self-Realization
At last, we come to Self-Realization which is ultimately a gift of grace from Life, Spirit, or the Divine.
While we cannot “achieve” Self-Realization in the linear ego-based sense, we can prepare the soil of our inner garden, so to speak, to receive such a sacred gift.
So how does Self-Realization occur?
Self-Realization occurs when we stop identifying with the limited ego, deepen into a Soul-centered presence, and recognize ourselves as one and the same as the Divine on a visceral level.
Moving past a sense of “me,” “mine,” and “I am …” (aka., the inner stories fabricated by our illusory selves) we come to embody what is referred to as Christ Consciousness, Enlightenment, Buddhahood, Non-Dual Awareness, and Oneness.
Other names for this energetic expansion and shift in awareness are is Nirvana, Heaven, Moksha, Unio Mystica, Samadhi, Cosmic Consciousness, and so on. However, while this inner shift has been given many wildly exciting names, it has also been described as delightfully ordinary and unfathomably simple by those claiming to have tasted it.
Ultimately, to experience Self-Realization is to see through the insubstantiality and impermanence of the ego, the dreamlike nature of thought, and the illusion of attachment to all phenomena, and into the vast, spacious, and eternal presence that exists everywhere.
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$3In this stage, we are free from separation and find our true Home again. What remains is a pure radiance of being, a sacred union with Life, and an ever-deepening blossoming of love, connection, inner peace, and openness to existence.
How to Experience a Taste of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is a journey that could take you a few years, decades, an entire lifetime, or longer. But it is a sacred path that is worth every bit of your time, effort, sincerity, and focus. Ultimately, it is the path of enlightenment, the path of freedom, and the path of love. What could be more meaningful than that?
Now that we’ve explored what Self-Realization is and its nine stages, how can we taste – even just briefly – this experience? (I’m sure you’re curious!)
Here are some methods and practices that can help you to dip into this life-changing experience (although nothing is ever guaranteed):
- Long stretches of meditation (45 minutes or more per day) – Keep in mind that it’s important to work up to the goal of longer meditations, especially if you’re a beginner. Find a style of meditation that feels comfortable and beneficial to you and stick with it for at least a month.
- Plant medicine journeying (with ayahuasca, peyote, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms, marijuana, etc.) – If you have a mental illness, I recommend talking to a therapist beforehand or trying another one of these suggestions (as plant medicine can sometimes negatively exacerbate symptoms). Otherwise, plant medicine is an amazing path that I highly recommend approaching with a clear conscious intention and tons of respect.
- Entering altered states of consciousness (such as through a trance state, lucid dreaming, breathwork, and self-hypnosis) – Remember to be gentle with yourself and go slowly when entering altered states (this can help to prevent overwhelm).
- Nature immersion – Try spending long periods in nature (1+ hours), particularly in wild and untamed areas that aren’t visited by people. Nature has a magical way of opening the heart and mind to new horizons!
If you can recommend any other practices, please share them below!
***
In the words of great Indian sage Ramana Maharshi:
Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.
Perhaps one of the most important things to understand about this topic is that the journey of Self-Realization is not linear. We don’t simply move from point A (Self-Awareness) to point Z (Self-Realization). There is no straight line here. This journey is certainly not logical or simple.
Instead, see Self-Realization as a spiral or a circle. This is a process of unfolding that ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes, opens and closes like the sun, moon, ocean, clouds, and flowers.
In one period of life, we might return back to the basics of learning about ourselves and developing more ego awareness (even after years of doing that kind of work and thinking we’re “done” with that!).
In other parts of life, we might be called to follow a more transcendental path. And then again, we might be called to return to “beginner’s mind” once again.
No part of the journey is better than the other or more needed than the other: each stage is interdependent and divinely entwined.
However, by listening to the various wisdom traditions in the world that contain Self-Realization at their core and by putting our spiritual journeys into context (rather than getting lost in the rabbit holes of spiritual materialism), we can understand the deeper purpose of our lives and inner paths.
May your journey of Self-Realization be deep, expansive, and liberating.
Tell me, what stage do you think you’re in on the journey toward Self-Realization? I’d love to hear about your experiences.
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Serval years ago in a drug interactions had a moment when saw myself it advise me to quit doing drugs. I also asked what it was to do but was told not ready yet. Now it has returned no vision but hear internal is this a true awakening or mind playing tricks has anyone else had anything similar?
I would have to say for me mine is self transformation. and there is no time limit but like you said in your article it ebbs and flows never in a straight line. As long as your moving your making progress. The inner work takes time and takes a lot of reflecting and deep diving of who and what you are.
I don’t know, I think I made a lot more progress in different areas of life going through each stage, but I can’t seem to maintain that equilibrium all the time. It’s like when you find yourself happy and satisfied with life, but later on as external challenges arise, your self is challenged more deeply. You get that? Okay.
I have trouble with self love, and a lot of it has to do with my own gratitude practice. As I’ve worked with being honest with myself, I realized I’m the type more likely to be overly cynical than overly optimistic, but I’ve found an obstacle as I practiced gratitude everyday (Ever heard of gratitude meditation? Yes, that.).
I found when I was grateful for something, my cynical mind turns that point of gratitude as an excuse to shame myself. Why? Because I have it so much better than others. I’m grateful for having, food, water, drink and shelter. Then my inner critic berates me,” There are people suffering without basic needs, and you’re depressed? You should be grateful.” I just. . . I think I need to move on to another practice that might help with that. I hope.
The self love stage is so hard. I’ve worked through my past childhood issues over and over again, and I heard one piece of advice that said, “That it’s good to work through issues trying to make sense of it, but endless ruminating and worrying when everything is already made sense of enough won’t do anything.”
And I don’t know. I find I’m at that point. I’ve realized that inner work isn’t just emotionally jarring. It’s intellectually jarring. I find my thoughts are confused as I try to change the way I think. I’ve been doing inner work for years, and I find as I move through each cycle of spiritual growth over and over again, I get attached to one stage before moving on, and I still do.
That’s the thing about spiritual growth. You’re always changing, and so there’s always something new to be self aware with. That, or you’ve always been the same, but new external life events trigger a new discovery of what you’re like. Your thoughts slowly change, you try to figure out how your actions and worldview misalign, as well as just try to figure out. . . why I feel so empty.
I’ve learned to open up to be accepted, and I opened up a lot, but there’s this lingering fear that people who know me very well, don’t know me completely. And unless they know “everything” about me, they’re wrong about me being a good person. No, what if I’m bad? How can I be sure? I know I’m the only one who can answer that, but I can’t seem to stop questioning it. I can’t stop overthinking it.
How can I be sure? Am I good? Am I really good? Is having different definitions of what is good to me than the rest of society make me “not good”? What’s “good”?
I have barely any insecurity pointing out what is illogical, but I just. . . do I have the experience and wisdom to point out what I say is “good?”
I’m just at a loss.
Thank you for yet another brilliant article, Mateo. You and Aletheia inspire me so much to dive deep within. I have been a dabbler of all things spiritual, but it was only when I started to work on my chakras and especially the heart and sacral chakra that true magic started to happen in deep diving into my soul. Alot of this was intuitive led, from my soul (I guess) but I started connecting to my womb to access my ancestral line and ohhh my gooodddd! Well I am not going to go into it but for a woman, real healing takes place by clearing the womb energetically, which for me was relevant because I was raped many years ago. All I can say is that my vibration is changing and I can sense that, other people can sense that. My relationship with myself has changed so radically. Fear has less of a hold on me than has been the case for way too long with my PTSD. I am not religious at all but I have started to understand that all the challenges I have been experiencing have been a way to find my path back to the Divine, of whom I and everyone else is a spark of. I am at a weird stage of my unfolding where I am longing to surrender myself to the will of the Divine (or my soul/ or whatever you want to call it) and while all this is going on I am aware how I am balancing my female and male energies. And here is the truly odd thing, my taste in men has changed. I have always been attracted to men with softer features: curly hair, large green eyes and lips and almost angelic look (this was when I most mostly inhabiting my male energies)and now as I am balancing my female energy I am finding strong, typically very male looking men so attractive, when in the past that would never have happened. The very thing that I want is the very thing that scares me to death: to be truly seen at my most vulnerable. I think in society we have an epidemic chronic state of not truly seeing ourselves and not being able to see others at their core.So in turn we never experience being seen for who we truly are:at our most vulnerable, at our most fearful , at our most fragile: in total at our most human.But now I am completely fascinated of wanting to know from people what is the thing they fear the most, what makes them feel truly alive etc… I think I need to get a sense energetically who they REALLY are instead of just looking at the masks they wear, which is so amazingly soul deadening to experience.
I wish you would write an article about this, because I would truly love to know how I could do that for another and have that done to me. But I undrerstand the honesty of wanting to know someone so intimately can feel so raw and exposing, because in society we are almost obliged to don a series of masks, to fit in with what is expected of us. But I no longer want to play that game, I want honesty in a world that dabbles in illusions! I think I have opened Pandora’s box for myself, and I have no idea how to shut it , or that I even if I want to shut it at all.
Beloved, you are looking for Jesus. Go where no one can hear you and speak to him what is on your heart. He will hear you no matter where you are.
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You are never alone.
One experience that also appears to offer immediate entry to s sense of the Divine and reconnection with the timeless sense of Self is a Near Death Experience. This is not something to be courted but does provide an experience of deep peace and being buoyed and nurtured by a loving presence that provides a sense of clarity, calm and comfort. The other is shaktipat where a guru acts as a guide and channels the Divine by emptying himself or herself of the ego to be a conduit of emptiness and unconditional love. Both require surrender and acceptance of another realm. This is an interesting article and outlines different paths to the same source. Thanks for sharing your journey and knowledge in a simple and clear manner.
Thanks Chris for sharing, NDE’s are definitely powerful experiences because they provide an altered state of consciousness without ego identification (much like some plant medicine rituals do). As NDE’s are outside of our control, if anyone is interested, OBE’s (Out of Body Experiences) are another form of initiation. The only tricky thing is much like shamanic journeys, these experiences open many ‘doors of perception’ (to use Huxley’s term) that can become a distraction. More than doors, I wound say they’re windows, because you can’t really go through them as you can with more Eastern contemplative practices.
This is all good stuff,but you’re missing one vital truth: unless you taste and walk in Living Truth,you will not fully understand all things pertaining to God himself. ya you heard right, just ask Jesus to become your senior partner, watch what happens. Right now your still only coming from soul level,not spiritual.
What does Yeshua have to say about your judgement of others?
He never wanted, nor declared, to be God, he is the son of MAN. And he said many times God is within us, not up in the sky.
And there are as many paths to divinity as there are beings seeking it.
So much love for you on your path.
It always baffles me as to how you could completely ignore the underworld and go straight up. Suppression and repression never helped anyone, definitely no myself, so it makes sense to acknowledge all 3 parts. It feels as though most demonise the one from the underworld but in actuality, they are the way they are for a reason just live everybody else. Originally our relationship was extremely toxic, now we have come to an understanding. We’re like chalk and cheese but have mutual respect, keeping my whole being accountable. Currently, a master in training and it is interesting you mention Alice in Wonderland as that is how I was shown things would be once I finish training. So much chaos and mayhem happening around me and there I am sitting amongst it all sipping quietly on a cup of tea. ( I don’t see myself enjoying anything but coffee but then again if you told me drinking or drugs weren’t a part of life now a few years back I wouldn’t believe that either, so, never say never.) Past life on display for the world to see, no longer ashamed and using it as an educational tool. Pandora’s box may have been unleashed but there is still hope left at the bottom of it. When the time is right each part of me/us will return to the rightful world states with a newly formed alliance between them. The underworld younger generation does not wish to walk in the footsteps of those who went before them and it has caused some conflict as you can imagine.
Anyway, thank you
Until next time
✌️ ✌️ ☮️
Ana, Nick & Ki
I couldn’t agree more Ana, Nick & Ki, this whole “heart chakra and above” business is very short sighted, especially as everything above depends on a solid foundation/balance of everything below, just like any edifice. Thank you for sharing :)
Greetings again fellow brothers and sisters.
What an awesome article dear brother Sol. I see myself at stages 5,6 & 7
I am still a Novice on this path. I still have issues that need to be dealt with.
But thanks to you dear brother Sol and dearest sister Luna, I have faced a lot of my inner demons with truth and love. I am learning self-love and self-transformation. I am experiencing a lot of mixed emotions. Guilt, shame, sorrow, regret and at the same time excitement, happiness, joy, Grace and love. I still experience the love/hate, light/darkness, hope/despair, good/evil, angel/demon conflict.
I truly accept that this will be who I am until the day I leave this world. This is ME. This is my essence. This is ME living my Truth !!! It is and will always be the world in which I live in and see and experience everyday and I love it.
This is ME trying to be a man that is different. I am not meant to fit in. I am meant to be rejected and an outcast.
This is ME being the man that God created me to be. God always has something better instore and planned.
This is God’s Truth and plan for my life.
A wallpaper I saw had a picture of a Wolf. It said ” It’s not over when you lose, it’s over when you quit ”
Signed Luke
Thank you brother for sharing your wisdom with this, I’m so happy for you to be able to experience the fluidity of emotions you describe. If we have the courage of the wolf and decide to unlock new aspects of our inner world, we become more human, more real.
Perhaps you’ll like the cherokee story of two wolves (Google it if you haven’t read it). Although some say the ending is decided by the wolf you decide to feed, I like the alternative ending of feeding both wolves. There’s no conflicts of love/hate dualities, they are part of the same polarity. Light cannot exist without darkness and darkness cannot exist without light, they are different shades of the same scale.
The deeper we settle into ourselves, the more we begin to find stillness within all this.
Thanks again Luke.
Thank you very much for the work you guys are doing. I started my journey of self realization and mastery at a very young age I learned that the only thing I can control are my thoughts feelings or more my reactions and responses. I quickly learned that I needed to work at it every day I needed to be still and listen in the stillness the universe has taught my mysteries beyond anything I could ever imagine
Thank you Casaundra. I agree wholehearted with the only freedom we have is our ability to relate instead of reacting through a deeper awareness of our internal world of feelings and thoughts which if you pay close attention to, seem to be completely random and chaotic with no real control over what our next thought even is. I look forward to sharing with you all the other mysteries the universe decides to reveal :)
Hello there ,
Thank you so much for the light you spread.
And, I want to let you that in the Self-Realization process I may be at the SELF TRANSFORMATION STAGE
Thank you Bobinho :). I agree, the ‘self-transformational’ stage is the bridge between the ‘self-‘ and All. Beyond that, this map loses all meaning.