Self-realization is one of those phrases that we hear on the spiritual path that goes in one ear and out the other. We don’t give it much thought, yet it’s at the very heart of EVERYTHING.
Without seeing Self-Realization as the ultimate point of the spiritual awakening journey, our paths are vague, blurry, and disjointed.
We don’t really know why we’re doing what we’re doing. And if we do have some faint reason, we never feel truly satisfied because everything we obtain, all the spiritual brownie points we collect, ultimately feel empty and disappointing.
Spiritual Wanderer Course:
Find your deepest path and purpose in life as a spiritual wanderer. In this immersive course, you get 3+ hours of content, workbooks, meditations, a premium test, and more!
In fact, when we lose sight of the importance of Self-Realization, our spiritual paths are nothing but one distraction after another.
We become spiritual consumers, dabbling here and there in attractive spiritual “products,” without ever really diving deep.
I call this “Rabbit Hole Spirituality”: like Alice in Wonderland, we’re constantly falling into endless rabbit holes of new trends, exciting practices, and sparkly feel-good philosophies.
But the reality is that we’re lost in a surface world full of superficiality, and eventually, something new will come along and catch our eye, and off into another Rabbit Hole we’ll fall.
Thankfully, there are paths out there that are aligned with a deeper form of spirituality – and all of them lead to Self-Realization in one way or another.
If you’re not quite sure what the hell Self-Realization is, or how to experience it, keep reading.
Table of contents
What is Self-Realization?
There are two definitions of Self-Realization: one is secular, and the other is spiritual.
According to various Western psychological and philosophical traditions, Self-Realization is the fulfillment of our personal potential in life. Essentially, it’s being all that we can be in an unlimited, expansive sense.
Shadow & Light Membership:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "Straight from the very first weekly email, this has been mind-blowingly powerful, the synchronicity and the on-vibe contents resonate uncannily with my soul’s current challenges." – Marie
However, according to Eastern spirituality, Self-Realization is the knowledge and embodiment of our True Nature or the Higher Self beyond the ego.
Here we have two strangely conflicting definitions from the East and West.
Which definition is correct?
Actually, neither definition is right or wrong: both are equally relevant as they uphold, and relate to, each other. I’ll explain why next.
The 3 Shamanic Realms of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is not so much of a flashy lights-and-glamor moment as it is a slow and steady process of spiritual unfoldment. This process occurs within the three realms of existence:
- The Middle World
- The Lower World
- The Upper World
Using shamanic terminology, the middle world is the realm where we live everyday life. This is the realm where we go about our daily existence with family, friends, and work colleagues.
The lower world is the downwards and inwards realm where everything hiding beneath the surface dwells. This is the realm of thoughts, feelings, instincts, dreams, unconscious wounds, and at a core level, the Soul.
The upper world is the upwards and outwards realm where we transcend the body, mind, and Soul, and enter the immaterial, eternal Spirit that permeates all layers of existence.
Each Realm Has a Purpose
Within each realm there is a task for us to fulfill:
- In the middle world, the task is ego growth
- In the lower world, the task is Soul embodiment
- In the upper world, the task is Spirit realization (also known as Self-Realization)
As depth psychologist Bill Plotkin writes,
Would you like to save this?
We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!
Your information will never be shared.
Ego growth, soul embodiment, and spirit realization are equally vital to growing whole. Although all three components can be engaged concurrently, there is a natural sequence to their unfolding: ego growth is the foundation upon which soul embodiment rests, and the latter, I believe, most effectively galvanizes spirit realization.
Here we see that all three realms build on top of (and support) one another – the ultimate goal being Self-Realization.
The Difference Between self-Realization and Self-Realization
So here we see there are actually two types of Self-Realization.
The West promotes the realization of the self’s (ego’s) fullest potential. This process occurs within the middle and lower world realm. Some Western schools of psychology, such as those that adhere to Carl Jung’s philosophies, also promote Soul realization (also known as the individuation process).
And the East promotes the realization of the Self – that is, liberation from the small fabricated self (ego), and the embodiment of one’s Higher Self or True Nature. This is an upper world path, a path that transcends the personal ego and Soul, and unites us with the Absolute, Unchanging, and Eternal Spirit. This is the path of enlightenment.
Most Western and Eastern schools of thought ignore or deny the importance of all three paths working together in unison. But they are all essential paths to embrace so that we can experience true Self-Realization, just as a tree needs roots, a trunk, and branches to be whole.
The 9 Stages of Spiritual Self-Realization
And should you choose to devote yourself to the ongoing journey of self-realization, you will develop a tremendous sense of respect for who you really are. It is only then that you will come to appreciate the full depth of meaning in the advice: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”
– Michael A. Singer
As I mentioned previously, Self-Realization is not so much one great big moment as it is a gradual process of spiritual unfoldment.
(However, it must be noted here that for some people, Self-Realization does come as one big moment. But for the vast majority of us, it’s a slow and steady process.)
Below you’ll find the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization: from the beginning of the journey, all the way to the end.
Please note that Self-Realization is not necessarily (and often isn’t) a linear process. We often experience a spiral of blossoming and transformation, and it’s common to move forward and backward along this nine-stage journey.
Here are the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization:
1. Self-Awareness
At the beginning of the journey is the dawning of self-awareness. This new awareness may dawn occur sporadically as a result of temporary moments of introspection or, alternatively, this awareness may suddenly erupt into our lives in the form of an unexpected spiritual awakening.
What is self-awareness? Self-awareness is when we become aware of ourselves (from an ego-based standpoint) and how we interact with the world.
Those who are self-aware move away from their previous psychological ignorance (also commonly referred to as “being asleep”) and into greater self-consciousness.
This gaining of sudden self-awareness can be a painful and humbling period as it tends to illuminate many of our harmful thoughts, habits, choices, and ways of relating to the world. And typically, we don’t like what we see. Thus, we either numb ourselves out of denial or enter the path of self-growth (also known as the spiritual path).
2. Self-Exploration
After the shock of awakening to more self-awareness, we’re driven by the desire to explore ourselves more – this is the journey of self-exploration in a nutshell.
Inner Work Journal Bundle:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "I highly recommend this. Each journal is beautifully designed, with ample room for reflection and gorgeous supporting images and quotes. Anyone who uses these journals is likely to experience a priceless payoff." – D
Self-exploration is fuelled by a mixture of curiosity (“Who am I really?”) and dissatisfaction (“I can’t believe I did/said/believed that!”). We want to find out more about personalities and understand our authentic place in life.
Self-exploration often occurs in the middle world (the realm of everyday life) and the purpose of it is to uncover how we think, feel, and behave. To get answers, we seek to gain knowledge and understanding of ourselves through books, workshops, films, courses, therapists, teachers, personality tests, and other psychological and spiritual practices.
3. Self-Discovery
Once we start dabbling in the world of self-exploration, we eventually experience self-discovery, which is what happens when we dig underneath the surface of our egos.
Self-discovery occurs when we move from the “what?” to the “WHY?” While the previous stage (self-exploration) deals with what we like/feel/do/think, self-discovery deals with why we like/feel/do/think everything that emerges inside of us.
In this stage, it’s common to begin various forms of inner work that get to the root of our core selves.
4. Self-Understanding
Self-understanding is a crystallization of the previous three stages: it’s a deep understanding of the dynamics and workings of our ego selves.
People who have reached this stage have a thorough and multi-layered understanding of the origins and reasons why they think, feel, and behave the way they do. Not only have they explored their conscious ego, but they’ve also explored their unconscious mind to meet their shadow selves and other buried core wounds.
Self-Understanding is a lower world path that goes downwards and inwards, touching and revealing the very nature of our Souls.
5. Self-Love
Next is self-love: the stage where we are filled with compassion for ourselves and all that we’ve been through.
As a lower world path, self-love is what happens when we tap into the fundamental nature of our heart and soul: love.
When we love ourselves, we’re fuelled by a deep understanding of ourselves. In fact, without the previous stage (self-understanding) it’s almost impossible to practice self-love because we don’t know what or why we do, think, and feel what we do.
Learning how to love ourselves means that we stop punishing ourselves, start nurturing our inner child, and begin experiencing greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-forgiveness.
6. Self-Transformation
In this stage, we begin to shed our old and limiting habits, perceptions, and compulsions that were created by the false self (ego) and begin to experience transformation.
When we experience self-transformation, we enter a death and rebirth process that can feel uncomfortable and destabilizing at first. But ultimately, any change we undergo is liberating. In other words, we become more Soul-centered instead of ego-centered, and we’re more comfortable in our skin.
Thanks to the previous five stages, we’re able to make space for new growth to occur. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, we feel more expanded, free, and grounded.
7. Self-Mastery
As a culmination of stages 1-6, this stage is about reaping the rewards of a stable and well-adjusted ego. Psychologist Carl Jung referred to this stage as individuation, that is, becoming a whole human being who is connected and aligned with the Soul.
Self-mastery is self-explanatory – it means mastering the false self (or ego) – but not with a tyrannical or domineering stance. Instead, mastering the false self is done with love and understanding.
Instead of being slaves to our egos, we live from the heart and Soul, and our egos are in service to the Soul.
When we experience self-mastery, our inner and outer worlds are balanced (i.e., we are spiritually integrated), and we become the Kings or Queens of our own middle worlds (everyday life) and lower worlds (inner life). We are self-contained, calm, perceptive, wise, compassionate, and lighthearted.
8. Self-Transcendence
Next is self-transcendence which is where we start entering the world of Spirit (or the upper world).
When we walk the path of self-transcendence, we are seeking to move beyond our limited egos and attachment to our Souls, and rest in the deep spiritual Oneness at the center of who we really are.
The desire to self-transcend may come naturally throughout time (as a result of diligently walking the spiritual path), through a sudden mystical experience, profound transpersonal insight, or a deep inner calling to taste ultimate freedom.
Common self-transcendence paths and practices out there include meditation, yogic disciplines, mystical and higher consciousness traditions (Sufism, Gnosticism, Taoism, Buddhism, etc.), self-inquiry, non-dual teachings, contemplation, and so forth.
9. Self-Realization
At last, we come to Self-Realization which is ultimately a gift of grace from Life, Spirit, or the Divine.
While we cannot “achieve” Self-Realization in the linear ego-based sense, we can prepare the soil of our inner garden, so to speak, to receive such a sacred gift.
So how does Self-Realization occur?
Self-Realization occurs when we stop identifying with the limited ego, deepen into a Soul-centered presence, and recognize ourselves as one and the same as the Divine on a visceral level.
Moving past a sense of “me,” “mine,” and “I am …” (aka., the inner stories fabricated by our illusory selves) we come to embody what is referred to as Christ Consciousness, Enlightenment, Buddhahood, Non-Dual Awareness, and Oneness.
Other names for this energetic expansion and shift in awareness are is Nirvana, Heaven, Moksha, Unio Mystica, Samadhi, Cosmic Consciousness, and so on. However, while this inner shift has been given many wildly exciting names, it has also been described as delightfully ordinary and unfathomably simple by those claiming to have tasted it.
Ultimately, to experience Self-Realization is to see through the insubstantiality and impermanence of the ego, the dreamlike nature of thought, and the illusion of attachment to all phenomena, and into the vast, spacious, and eternal presence that exists everywhere.
$3In this stage, we are free from separation and find our true Home again. What remains is a pure radiance of being, a sacred union with Life, and an ever-deepening blossoming of love, connection, inner peace, and openness to existence.
How to Experience a Taste of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is a journey that could take you a few years, decades, an entire lifetime, or longer. But it is a sacred path that is worth every bit of your time, effort, sincerity, and focus. Ultimately, it is the path of enlightenment, the path of freedom, and the path of love. What could be more meaningful than that?
Now that we’ve explored what Self-Realization is and its nine stages, how can we taste – even just briefly – this experience? (I’m sure you’re curious!)
Here are some methods and practices that can help you to dip into this life-changing experience (although nothing is ever guaranteed):
- Long stretches of meditation (45 minutes or more per day) – Keep in mind that it’s important to work up to the goal of longer meditations, especially if you’re a beginner. Find a style of meditation that feels comfortable and beneficial to you and stick with it for at least a month.
- Plant medicine journeying (with ayahuasca, peyote, mescaline, psilocybin mushrooms, marijuana, etc.) – If you have a mental illness, I recommend talking to a therapist beforehand or trying another one of these suggestions (as plant medicine can sometimes negatively exacerbate symptoms). Otherwise, plant medicine is an amazing path that I highly recommend approaching with a clear conscious intention and tons of respect.
- Entering altered states of consciousness (such as through a trance state, lucid dreaming, breathwork, and self-hypnosis) – Remember to be gentle with yourself and go slowly when entering altered states (this can help to prevent overwhelm).
- Nature immersion – Try spending long periods in nature (1+ hours), particularly in wild and untamed areas that aren’t visited by people. Nature has a magical way of opening the heart and mind to new horizons!
If you can recommend any other practices, please share them below!
***
In the words of great Indian sage Ramana Maharshi:
Your own Self-Realization is the greatest service you can render the world.
Perhaps one of the most important things to understand about this topic is that the journey of Self-Realization is not linear. We don’t simply move from point A (Self-Awareness) to point Z (Self-Realization). There is no straight line here. This journey is certainly not logical or simple.
Instead, see Self-Realization as a spiral or a circle. This is a process of unfolding that ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes, opens and closes like the sun, moon, ocean, clouds, and flowers.
In one period of life, we might return back to the basics of learning about ourselves and developing more ego awareness (even after years of doing that kind of work and thinking we’re “done” with that!).
In other parts of life, we might be called to follow a more transcendental path. And then again, we might be called to return to “beginner’s mind” once again.
No part of the journey is better than the other or more needed than the other: each stage is interdependent and divinely entwined.
However, by listening to the various wisdom traditions in the world that contain Self-Realization at their core and by putting our spiritual journeys into context (rather than getting lost in the rabbit holes of spiritual materialism), we can understand the deeper purpose of our lives and inner paths.
May your journey of Self-Realization be deep, expansive, and liberating.
Tell me, what stage do you think you’re in on the journey toward Self-Realization? I’d love to hear about your experiences.
Whenever you feel the call, there are 3 ways I can help you:
1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Need "big picture" direction, clarity, and focus? Our Spiritual Wanderer course is a crystallization of 10+ years of inner work, and it can help you find your deeper path and purpose in life as a spiritual wanderer. You get 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, a premium test, and more!.
2. Shadow & Light Membership: Want weekly intuitive guidance to support you on your awakening path? This affordable membership can help you to befriend your dark side, rediscover more self-love, and reclaim inner wholeness.
3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Looking for a collection of all our essential transformative resources? You get five enlightening ebooks, seven in-depth journals, plus two empowering bonuses to help you soul search, heal, and awaken.
Hello im a Self- Realized master from Denmark im so gratefull but everybody i know is not, i just read your page and step 9 it is, wonderfull so 1 Buddha in dk
Br meggelji❤️ Amazing i used 6 month i would like to help others to be absolutely free…
Always allready free
I’m at Stage 3, but I’ve had “glimpses” of further stages, as the article states one might have, as this processs is not necessarily linear. For example, I’ve already become more understanding, loving and forgiving to myself. It’s been a wonderful journey so far and I welcome whatever comes next
I have a question… Often I feel like a broken record of negative situations surrounding me, that I am (unfairly) held responsible for things outside of my own control, and that nothing I do is worth sharing with others because most progress was made through personal experiences or shut down upon the attempt to share it… but I know my journey also contains a lot of teachable moments that could save others massive hardships… I would like to know if it has been a self-sabotaging reaction to think that other people understand how implementing the related content has altered my perception of myself and that the differences seem at the forefront to me, even if they fail to notice any of that?
In the last 5 years: My dad had a heart attack, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and passed away, my husband was diagnosed with diabetes, we were evicted from our living space, death threats were made by my siblings, 8 new children were born into my immediate family (Nieces & nephews), I’ve changed jobs twice (holding one for 10+ years prior)… etc… etc…
So, like I said a constant whirlwind of negativity seems to follow me around and more-so lately, I feel like expressing anything will allow for it to be used against me and that by not expressing it, I am likely to isolate myself from those closest to me. (my husband and I almost divorced after 13 years because our communication has been lacking substance, we can’t seem to avoid arguing over stupid things)… If you have any advice or input, I’d really appreciate your opinions.
I can only just tell this how I learned everything of my own struggles. I hope it can help or make you see it differently. Won’t make all of the negative patterns dissapear as it’s crutial to have both. I learned it by now when it rains it pours but at the end it’s always sunshine, I often had to work out which season I was in but it’s the lesson I learned failing tremendous amount of times.
It’s a very sad thing and I know it’s possibly to hardest to accept when we lose loved ones or their health changes unexpectedly it is so traumatic to even the most positive minded people that it can turn their mind to think negative thoughts or ask why. I believe that tho it’s not caused by any negative pattern repeting itself as I learned myself – and without trying to sound to harsh – it’s simply life. Dealing with grief is something we can’t control, we can only heal with time and often not fully, I learned to accept it and kepping all that they brought to me in their life. Feeling sad for a very long time lowers our energy system the most so we can only attract falling ill ourself or even feeling like we can carry on. What is in my opinion is almost certain that hardship will have circumstances and it is all down to who we have around us. So many times we are effected by past life traumas and we can unknowingly creat ourself or others to suffer from it. That’s how we brought up from a very young age the beliefs and emotions we been programmed by and passed on by others. Often your strength and energy can attract people who will use it to their benefit cause they are already feeling broken and depleted. Like that the pattern of negative beliefs or thoughts develops in us whilst they use it to hold on to your power but we start to think the cause of all sad situations is our always our fault. Sadly not many people understand theirself or even believe it’s focusing on the whole mind, body and soul in full is essential. I even been laughed at cause I’m taking my spirituality so seriously. The only thing is they don’t know cause they haven’t had so many negativity happening to them yet or understand your life. We can’t save everyone they will only understand when it’s their time to know.
When I was growin up I was almost certain I’m cursed or just very unlucky. It has lead me to the moment when I felt like I can’t or even wanted to carry on living like that anymore, I fell into my darkest deepest whole and I was ok there, I was very tired and broken of it all starring at the sealing, feeling sorry for myself although I knew it will pass I stopped fighting for it. I have received a text or something popped up what made me check my phone or my Instagram and I read a word or seen an image about starting to heal or awaken our inner spirit although I was a hippy it wasn’t totally clear. I started reading more and more and even realising the causes of my bad luck, negativity and feelin unworthy wasn’t all my fault. All negative experiences in my life one after the other was the same outcome just caused by different people at different places or or something very bad has happened like nothing like that ever before. My relationships weren’t going well and I lost a very few people from my side. I was raging inside and very upset with the whole World. Then I realised it was all my fault cause it took me over and also kept on meeting people who was just making me feel worse so I isolated myself from everyone, even lost my job. I was searching how to be able to reacted differently, instead of asking why is it happening, I was looking for the messages it was trying to show me and teaching me the lessons every single time. Most negative experience has such a positive impact on me, almost funny how manny times I kept on making the same mistakes and breaking down, letting others treat me badly cause I was blamed for everything. It was soo worth it tho, self-love is the turning point and it your power. Healing is a beautiful path I think and the feeling it gives when we can share how to get there is so rewarding although it’s you who can achieve if you believe it’s not you. Peeling down the layers time to time, it’s never the same thickness neither is hard but once you understand it’s all in your head you figure it out. The best thing I learned is to slow down, put myself first even if it means to say no to others, breath and never let anger or hate take over or being blamed. Being greatful for every little thing is important but it’s hard to see when it’s only darkness over our shoulders. Although I choose to walk alone ( I’m only 41 ) the people I had by my side have returned or stayed or thought me a lesson. Being in peace with negative situations in life just made me believe that it’s only there to test me and making me stronger. Taking it slow helped me to be able to read the signs, repeting numbers appearing, syncroncities or even hearing people telling that they are experiencing something bad what I overcome with changing my ways of thinking helped them too was the most reassurance, I feel blessed and have hardly any bad situations happened to me for a very long time. I work for myself for the last 7 years. I had about 15 jobs in 3 years and I’m so pleased I’ve got fired or walked out. Hope you will be well and wishing you the best of all. It’s in you and will open everyone around you who you love.
This is one of the most beautiful explanations of spiritual awakening that I have seen. Thank you for this article. I am young but well on my way on the spiritual path, completely changing my habits and approach to life. I am not in the stability stage yet but see myself there by the end of the summer. Another article I found helpful was “The Present” by Global Truth Project that introduced me to these ideas. It has a lot of bold corollaries and claims and I would love to know your thoughts on it if you have read it!
i am very conflicted i am just now getting into spirituality. Does this process mean that our material likes are invalid ?? such as music ,food, fashion, are we just to give those up ? did we ever truly enjoy those things ? furthermore are things i enjoy doing both for myself and career, just also invalid now?Am i supposed to give up my personality / ego ?? i would appreciate any help
Thank you Isael for the question. There’s nothing wrong with having tastes and interests, even material goals. The problem is when we start thinking they will bring us fulfillment and happiness, which when you look back on previous interests/goals, you realize they just provide a temporary relief, a distraction from searching for deeper truth.
By all means enjoy those things, just be aware not to grow attached to them as they have a way of seducing us away from what really is worthwhile.
ah i see and understand how my material goals/interests and tastes aren’t bad if i don’t depend on them for fulfillment and happiness. does this differ however from passions ? for example when i am creating anything artistically/ designing it bring me a great sense of joy, peace and feeling rightness it just feels so natural and organic. are these connected more to the ego or to our soul/true selves ?
Passions follow a similar path as desires. Truly embodying our passion, our artistic experience, is a spiritual act in itself. It’s being in the flow of the moment, fully immersed in the present experience. The issues arise when there’s attachments to the outcomes of the art. Do we do art for arts sake, or do we do it for some type of reward outside of the experience of creating? That’s the distinction, one is of the heart, the other is of the mind.
Hi I’m just “newly” realized and hadn’t realized at the time what I was trying to achieve until I “popped”, ascended so to speak so I’m just starting to find out what self realization means and is so any help you can provide or useful sites you can show me link for would be greatly appreciated
Hey Roy,
Thank you for sharing. I have the feeling based on the way you’ve described it, that it’s more in tune with a ‘mystical experience‘ than self-relization. Feel free to check out that article, as these shifts aren’t permanent in nature.
I remember the first time I felt the oneness. I was 15 or 16 and downtown, there was a group of people yelling with Bible themed hate signs. Overwhelmed by how fake it all was, knowing better. I attempted to yell the truth. Jumping up on the other corner. I yelled a bit “God loves you for who you are” I was truly amused at this point. Despite this group not 50 ft away condemning me to hell. And as I walked away not out of defeat bit out of knowing better. As I walked I thought jokingly to myself. “Watch me be a prophet” And then it hit me, a vibration so strong, I stopped midstep. Then a voice asked again “Am I?” The feeling strengthened, it felt like …. Fullness, completion, warmth and laughter. Safe yet on fire. And then I knew the truth, I’m just one cog in our grand machinery.
Your writtings are lovely and have some wonderful hints and tips for the spiritual aspirant! You are doing good work reaching out to those who need it. My Guru pointed me towards scriptures called Yoga Vasistha by (param Guru) swami Jyotirmayananda Saraswati. It is a series of scriptures that discusses detachment and other practises shared in there. This is and belongs to the progressive path of self realisation that you speak of, within sanatan dharma. Otherwise a couple of sayings I enjoy. ” give your problems to god for he has a mighty ship” and “life will take care of life” it has a funny way of doing that.
When we come to the knowing of this we find a quieter mind, then the only job we have is to remain quiet.. out of time.. where there really is no bondage or liberation as we are always that, pure consciousness, aware of even being aware…
Much luck and Love on your journey. Blessings to you both and all.
Om tat sat
Vidya Devi
Kriya yoga is one path to Self-Realization. I’m a member of Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF). Most people say they took up their kriya yoga after reading Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. A person will know if this is their path after reading that one book. It’s a spiritual practice that has made my life to happy and fulfilling!
Yet in knowing and still lacking love and support, how is this still possible?