Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
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Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
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The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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Hmmm…mine actually goes a bit farther than that…I have had wild animals of prey approach me wanting physical attention like being pet or to converse…I have also taken illnesses from others like one friend I used to have was epileptic and I became epileptic and he quit having seizures altogether…that is kind of just the tip of the iceberg though…so, yeah…
This is a difficult, but fascinating time that we’ve chosen to come to. My sensitivity was noticed when I was a child. My Mom said I could walk into a room and tell you how everyone felt. I wonder now what I was picking up from the adults that drew me to them.
As an adult I was diagnosed with acute onset fibro. Now, more than ever I’m hyper sensitive to others, and it effects me physically. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with this blessing/charge. I try not to say it’s a “curse”, but it’s easy to feel that way! Especially when the physical gets overwhelmed.
My point is- empathic folks have to be warriors their whole lives. We should be proud of the people we grow to be! It’s hard, but finding our balance in life is essential. Carefully adjusting your perception to everything around you. Always being cautious who you allow in your life to become close, and most importantly learning what emotions are yours vs. What’s getting thrown into you from others. It’s hard to do so, but life gets easier when you start to learn these important rules!
Stay strong my universal healers. Don’t forget what you are when life seems to crush your very being. We came here at this turning point of humanity. We are important, and valuable assets to those around us, even if they don’t know it, their higher spirit sees us for what we are! Sometimes that’s the part of their being we must connect with to help ease whatever ailment is getting projected to us. Be the light in the dark for those who need it!
This post was really interesting and insightful. I think the empath runs in our family, as my dad is very caring and sentimental, and tires quickly at the end of the day. My sister is also highly empathetic and the one everyone (including me) goes to to vent, but is stoic/a comedian, and is often either making everybody laugh or busy socializing perhaps to distract herself from whatever troubled feelings or thoughts might be bugging her. I love her and look up to her as my tough older sister, but I think she needs to take more time for herself. I care a lot about my friends and family but I’m the only one who is always crying about something. I’ve learned to avoid extremely sad movies like Grave of the Fire Flies because I know I’ll cry about it days after. I think I’m just sensitive in general.
I’ve always suspected that I was am empath, before there was really a label for it. I think that’s the reason I cannot bear hospitals or settings where there are strong emotions concentrated in one place. On the bad side, it makes going into large crowds difficult, as I feel overwhelmed with all of that human energy, and I’m unable to watch even the slightly violent “entertainment” that everyone else seems to like. I’m often called on by friends and family as a sounding board and free therapist, which gets tiring.
My gifts as an empath including giving great massages… don’t laugh. I can somehow sense exactly where a spot of tension or pain is on someone’s back or shoulders. I actually feel it intuitively. I know exactly when someone’s mood changes, and can read situations and people quickly. I have met people and just know that there is anger and other issues in there, and am always right about my first impressions of people. I know before anyone if someone is getting a divorce, etc.
The hard thing is that being an empath seems to make me vulnerable to visits from.. well.. the other side. Don’t laugh. I am one of those people who dreams about someone, then finds out that they died that day (even though I hadn’t thought about them in years.) It’s a bit scary to have these ‘spirits’ standing by my bed in the middle of the night. I don’t think it’s far-fecthed, because many empaths are so sensitive to human energy that they probably see things we don’t. Does anyone else have this issue?
Yes! I’ve noticed that empaths give amazing massages … particularly earthy types (I am an airy type, so I’m not that great)! I have had precognitive dreams before, but never of people dying. This is an intimidating ability, but I would look into it more in-depth. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and am seized by this feeling of fear, but I am still trying to separate nightmares and night anxiety, from actual spirit presence.
The Bad:
I always have the issue of controlling my emotions, as I tend to hang on to others negative emotions for a long time. I can feel pain whenever someone close to me gets hurt, even when I am not around. I have gone to the doctor several times to have nothing wrong, and then find out that someone I am close to, had the same issue, but did have something wrong with them. I always feel as if I am just a hypochondriac, looking for something to be wrong, but that doesn’t make sense as I try to avoid medication and push through any pain.
The Good:
I currently work with customers as tech support, and am rated on reviews. My customers always tell me everything that is going on and tell me that the experience was like talking to an old friend or family member. I find that I do way better when talking with strangers, as I can still connect with them, but not have any of their emotional baggage transferred to me.
Yep, that’s me. I cried uncontrollably when I watched the movie Hachi. I was in real emotional pain so bad that it hurt physically. The movie was a true story. Hachiko the dog couldn’t understand our language, so he kept waiting for his dead friend/owner to get off the train as he always used to do, every day for the rest of his life. Just because humans couldn’t communicate with him adequately(!), he went through all that pain and loss without understanding, every day. I think he must not have seen the body – he must have thought his owner he loved had abandoned him. Horribly wrong! He should have been allowed to see the body.
omg.. i can relate to all this and i am 16
this literally explains my entire life
crying was my outlet and i was a wuss
i felt the pain experienced by others and
i didn’t know what to do
i had so many mood swings
and I don’t like being lazy but i just am
i can connect with a 16 year old, 25 or even a 50 year old easily
to be honest it’s like a boon for others
and a curse for us :(
Hallo, thank you for a very good article. I have a question regarding whether I am an empath or not. I took several empath tests in the internet and all come up with indication that I am an empath. However, I am still not sure that I am an empath because I think that I could a very good observer/analyst who combines my natural senses (visual, touch, etc.) and logical analysis to draw certain conclusion. At this point, I am still uncertain. If I am an empath, I will certainly find ways to develop this ‘skill/gift’. I hope someone can help me.
hmmmmm, so how can we help each other? Can 1 empath help absorb the negative energy from other empaths? Can we help each other’s abilities to grow stronger? Or can we provide a get secluded get away for the empaths on this planet so that they may resynch and reharmonize? I hope to one day be able to help in some way.
I’ve never for sure met another empath though I desperately would like to, if for no other reason than to know I’m not alone in this. The comments on this article help but talking about it in person with someone like me would probably make a world of difference.
As a struggling, lonely empath highly suspicious that I’m stuck in an office all day with another empath — I would really like to know how empaths could help each other, too. It’s 100 times worse being around this person when either of us is in a less than ideal mood, and we both seem eager to talk to the other while simultaneously wary or frightened by the other. We have said a whole lot of nothing to each other as a result.
I assume for a long list of reasons I am in the presence of another empath, but I can’t get over how “weird” this is to the non-empath and have said nothing out of fear of being ostracized or ridiculed. I need help from another empath, I may be 100 feet away from one all day, but it’s far more crippling to be afraid and unsure than to just be entirely alone.
I like the idea of empaths helping one another but frankly it feels like an elusive pipe dream at this point. Society has made us unacceptable creatures who feel safer hiding who we are, even amongst those who are just like us. I only hope one day I can be proven wrong; the pain of feeling like I am so close to another empath yet unable to speak to the person out of fear is nearly intolerable.
Ooooo this one is easy ;-). Find a tv show that has an empath on it. Find a general empath definition and print it out. Bring up the show in conversation and say you saw that one of the characters was an empath somewhere (truth, you did see it), then say you had to look up the definition of empath (true, you did have to look it up), if they havent seen the show, then ask if they think anyone lile the printed definition could exists and praise how cool it would be if the character was lile that……..the coworker will respond in a posiitive manner, then you can expand and one day confess you have similarities too. Ice broken. ;-)
I just learned what is called and I have learned to control it until I help people overcome their emotions. I have also learned to project happiness to other people but it really drains my energy when I do it. I have helped many people with break ups to just plain sadness to deep depression and anxiety by just talking to them. I plan to graduate high school and become a psycologist and help more people as my career. My name is Richard and I think I am doing well for a 14 year old male.