Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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I am an enigma in that I am extremely extroverted, have a thick skin, and have been popular all my life. I want to know if anybody has heard the term “True Empath” versus being an “Empath?” My mentor told me I absorb the characteristics of , not just humans, but animals, plants, and inanimate objects. There may be another name for it except True Empath? Thanks.
HI excuse me for my bad english,i feel exactly like KIM and Alielle and lately i got very very bad evil mind about people like cursing them or feel good when they have a problem specially if i feel upset with them and then regret it(its a battle of good and evil in my mind that drive me crazy),i have become agoraphobia but fortunately i work at night.sometime i can be heartless, very moody.I don’t know if i am an empath or just a person who have an mental illness.I like to watch horror movie even the gore one(i feel something but not extremely,it depends on film) because it show how the worlds are evil.i can love a person ,the next minute hate him and the next minute understand his/her reaction.I am not very good to communicate with other people,Before i a understand people even if they have done something bad but now my understanding have become evil most of the time and then regret it.i can’t go forward in my life, can feel better in 2 months and then fall apart badly.what do you think i am empath or a lunatic crazy person???
Thank you all! the only explanation I could ever give for what is going on with me was one I stole from others…I have a noisy brain. Even though I was saying it regularly, I never fully believed it. There was something more. Your explanation of the empath fits me like a glove. Its not noise, its jumbled emotions. Other sentient beings emotions mixing with my own creating a caucophony in my soul and heart and mind. Crikey I thought I was loony. I spent 30 out of 42 years drinking to quiet my brain. When the drinking nearly killed me and quit working I admitted defeat to alcoholism. But in the past 3 years the jumble remains. A trip to the grocery store makes me one big exposed nerve. Too many people talking at once or one person talking incessantly irritates me beyond explanation. Loud traffic makes me cringe. The list goes on. I’m perpetually fatigued, often cranky, sad most of the time. I understand the concepts of taking time for me (nature walks, meditation, yoga, exercise, solitude) but lack the energy because I’m busy trying to please others. However, I seem to only succeed in pissing them off… Read more »
I feel misunderstood by all
Reading this has made me feel so much better today. I am having a rough couple of weeks now and it’s like everyone around me is blaming me for being so sensitive about certain issues and I’m constantly overthinking so much that I feel like I’m about to go insane.
I’ve been the empath to so many people in my life, that it’s taken a toll on me. I feel so alone and useless sometimes that it takes me to bad places in my mind. Now I’m trying to learn more about how to be more mindful and a bit more selfish; I want to listen to myself more as others have kept listening to me. I think I need to relie more on my intuitions now because in my 30-years of life so far, I’ve seen that only I can take care of myself, no one else can take care of me.
I first came across the term “empath” last night. Some of the things fit really well. I sometimes know how things are going to turn out or things about people without knowing how I know them. I hate violence, I hate making people unhappy, I hate negative emotions, and I hate conflict. OTOH, I don’t care too much about animals or nature, can’t tell when people are lying (in fact I’m pretty easy to fool because I tend to believe the good in everyone), and I can be awfully insensitive. It’s like I am bad at figuring what my effect will be on people, but really good at picking up when they get upset at me, even if they’re not telling me. I can’t tell if I’m an empath or just want to be. I tend to score well on the quizzes. I got 73% on yours, but I know that’s not necessarily an indicator.
But for some reason the word “empath” has a resonance with me. I’m drawn to it, like it’s calling out to me and telling me I belong to it despite evidence to the contrary.
Can anyone relate?
Is there a place for us to learn how to control these things. Stupid but I feel like anikin from star wars battling between good and evil all the time. I have been able to do many things In my past. I was abused for 30 years as much as I want to love and be normal there is this all consuming thing that drives me to be a bad guy and these things I can do only work now when bad things happen. Please email me for help. Sky112601b@gmail.com my name is Sky
Hello, I wouldn’t call myself an empath or whatever title people have coined over the years, however. I have to admit that the things described is frighteningly accurate if I compare myself to this archetype. My question to the community here when you experience the feedback from peoples’ emotions how would you describe it? For me, the best way to describe is that every emotion has a particular color or vibration, and when I feel this ‘color’ often (I don’t think I have ever been wrong but who knows) I’m correct. I don’t know if I’m making any sense whats so ever. But if I’m watching a movie or out walking, and I see an individual smiling, I have a warm sensation wash over me almost bringing tears to my eyes. In other instances, if I’m walking and I see a random stranger, I get this odd emotion like panic wash over me. I don’t know its strange, and I have no idea if I’m absolutely insane or what. But I have been known to take long naps and usually, I love to walk in the rainy or cloudy days with less people. I feel liberated I guess best way… Read more »
Hi Luna, many thanks for your post. I recently came across your website and it is helping me everyday in recognising patterns since then. I have started feeling that I am not the only person who is empath and feels the world so intensely and carry the emotional baggage from others. I have a question here. I have recently discovered that I am an empath. I have also joined a masters course and find that even if I know a subject well I tend to take up negative energy from my classmates during preparation. Initially I am happy and confident about my understanding when I am studying alone. But it is always difficult to study alone and isolate yourself completely from others specially the ‘toxic friends’. When I come in contact with them, they take out all frustration on me releasing their fears and academic doubts about exam. This drains my energy completely and after that conversation onwards they are happy confidant and I have lost my confidence. I recently realised this pattern that because of this, I may start happily but end up struggling in exam hall, may be I take up all negative energy from everyone in the… Read more »
I took the test and scored 93/100 which doesn’t suprise me at all. What does suprise me is that I believe now more than ever that empaths exist, I’ve always been able to connect with people on a different level, reading Kims comment from about a year ago was truly like reading my thoughts written by someone else. I’m always the shoulder to cry on. I’ve always had a deep seeded need to help others even from a young age and now that I’m older I developed heavy depression that few know about but the need to help has only gotten stronger so I don’t say anything in fear of people not coming to me for help. I also get angry sometimes when I get taken advantage of, which happens a lot especially with family but it never stops me from helping when they ask, I just bury it down deep. A lot of people say I’m the funniest person they know and it’s because I use my humor as a shield when I’m out with people to keep the things I feel at bay. I always have to keep a shield up or I feel like I’ll go crazy.… Read more »