Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
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Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
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The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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I am a male Empath in my 30’s who is very much aligned with the above article and its exemplary erudition of the torment and anguish this condition confers upon those who have never been taught properly how to manage this vital part of their personhood.
Unfortunately, my early childhood was also marked by years-long sexual interference and emotional degradation by a so-called “friend”, whereupon the inadequacies and insecurities of those formative years eventually led me to becoming involved with another person many years later who made me privy to their disturbing catalogue of narcissistic/psychopathic qualities. Empaths really can be magnets to some truly awful people, which is one of the most insidious features of being an Empath at times.
The combined toll of having my faith and trust in others repeatedly manipulated and violated, AND having to accommodate that very schema into my already highly-sensitive comprehension of this increasingly complex and unpredictable world, has created numerous issues of “significant and enduring impact” that impede my attempts to attain some semblance of stability and emotional security in this later part of my life.
I know I am capable of love, I know that I can care deeply, I know that I am an inherently good person. And yet, a chronic shortage of love for myself has rendered me emotionally, psychologically, socially, spiritually and financially impotent for over two decades now. When love has a very poor internal presence, then expecting love from a meaningful external presence becomes a very flimsy pursuit indeed. One could say that Empaths are purpose-built for love, yet it can often be an infuriating source of anxiety and confusion when needing to navigate it with any margin of confidence. Of course, love doesn’t respond to those lower energies too well. Simply add crises, traumas and damaging experiences into the mix and watch the difficulties of these wonderful feeling creatures mount exponentially.
A distinct lack of love for myself has invariably coloured my world perspective to the point where it exactly resembles that of my inner landscape: bleak, mistrusting and deeply unhappy. I may be an Empath but I am not replete with empathy at this point in time. One small victory is that I can never fully give up on trying to find a potentially cherished outcome to my crushing loneliness and fatigued compassion, no matter how dark it gets. This journey of mine does, however, test my resolve and the will to live sometimes.
Its not your fault.
You’re not alone
It’s been great learning about empaths and reading different experiences and how they manage or not manage, whether they keep it as a curse or use it as a blessing. I knew I was different but couldn’t put my finger on it. Then one day I typed in Google “sensitive to energies” or something similar wondering if there’s a term for it. Sure enough Empath came up and finally I gained so much of an understanding although it took me until 27yrs to figure it out. For the most part, I can feel people lying, I can feel what people are intending or trying to accomplish, I feel their selfishness, i feel their care, I feel if they are the victim, I feel if they’re positive, I feel people staring or presence in a room, I feel all sorts of good and bad and it is what it is. I can’t change them or the feeling they give me but can control myself, it’s best to take yourself away from bad energy to help stabilize yourself. The gym is somewhere overwhelming but I will either distract myself with music, give out my positive energy, redirect my thoughts, or even imagine a bubble force field that I am in and deflects everyone’s incoming state of mind. The negative parts in life or people always stick out more than the good. So a lot of other empaths seem to describe themselves or experiences as negative. And of course! There are a lot of negative things about majority of the people (sociopaths, bullies, selfishness, vengeful, irresponsible, the victims, depressed and everything is just negative, etc.). It’s physically and mentally sickening to imagine having all that bad energy, it’s no wonder they are so miserable and have the issues that they do. It’s way more of a challenge to not portray yourself as the rest of them, but I challenge you today to start making any small changes that’s going to better yourself as a whole (physically, emotionally, etc.), you can add exercise (even as small as 10 mins, somethings better then nothing) to help release those endorphins and stress, anything therapeutic that you enjoy (e.g. listening to jazz as you cook a healthy meal with a glass of wine, take a bath with dim lighting and classical music, play with your pets and absorb their excited energy and innocence, same for kids, hang or watch people that will make you laugh, etc.). Whatever floats your boat. Its time that we be selfish and this kind of selfishness is healthy for us to cope with being our special selves. You will start feeling better knowing you are doing good for yourself for once instead of the rest of the world that may not even appreciate or recognize the giving you do. Don’t overwhelm yourself with a list of things to change towards your happiness, start with something small and can gradually increase after few wks, no need to hurry. Write a list of all the possible things you are willing to incorporate in your life to better cope with people’s energies whether it’s strategies, techniques, any sort of attempt and also balance your levels by giving yourself positive energy and happiness.
Lots of individuals be claiming to be an empath when they are not. If you have a wonderful life, great family and friends, jobs, good doctors, have no fears. Then you are not an EMPATH. Empaths have basically no one, have very rough lives. They tend to want to ball up in the corner and never come out. Empaths basically have no one. Friends and family are barely around. Empaths are ignored most of the time when asking for help so they feel left out. They tend to think about the world alot. They want it to be a better place. Empaths have a hard time going out into the world cause bad energy attacks them as soon as they step outside. They feel more comfortable staying at home. They can be very lonely individuals. Empaths don’t go around bragging about being an empath. Empaths can have their moments too were they misbehave,they tend to have attitudes due to all the bad energy but when they do hurt someone. Its hurts and pains them dearly. They gate evil and feel live is the most important things in the world. Empaths are individuals looking for answers and they are very special.
I meant empaths HATE evil and feel LOVE is the most important thing in the world lol
Hi. I experience this very frequently in my life. Until recently when I subscribe loner wolf, I was not aware about my character as being an empath. I was trying to do research on my life experiences and so finally I found that I am an empath. It is ofcourse very beautiful experience of being highly sensitive and as a good listener. also being intuitive. But on other hand I frequently get drained and have psychological issues because of feeling too much about all people around me. even though I meet a person only once in life for few time but still I feel his pain and suffering if he has so. I try best to remain in solitude as that suits me the best but living in the practical world around chaotic people it is too difficult for me to get my own success and achievements as I forget myself while helping others around me.
I have just discovered I am an empath. At a meeting with a Buddhist Priest this week, I have found out more of the mystery that can be blessing and curse. I have been labelled as having bipolar affected disorder by the medics, but fortunately have an enlightened psychiatrist who himself has experienced ‘spiritual emergency’. Reading a great book – Spirituality and Psychiatry by Chris Cook, Andrew Powell and Andrew Sims. I am a Reiki practitioner and have to be very careful to ground and protect myself from the negative energy of others.
I just stumbled upon this site and decided to take the quiz. I’ve always believed I was just too sensitive due to past childhood experiences and part personality. Since childhood I’ve been known to get too emotional and cry at the drop of a hat if a family member moved, if someone was crying or sad, if an animal was hurt. I would ask myself “what is wrong with me?” “Why can’t I control my emotions sometimes?” “Why do I let things get to me and make me feel down” I thought I finally figured it out and just accepted that I’m just a “super sensitive” person who’s depression “acts up” sometimes. For example: I don’t sympathize I automatically empathize. I literally will start feeling genuinely sad and cry for people I donot know who’s had a tragedy. I’m extremely sensitive about animals and when I would see a dead animal on the road it truly upset me where I become really sad. I’ve had to practice my own CBT so I can feel better and practice to be insensitive by pretending it didn’t happen. Well I felt like a light bulb came on when I read about empaths. I’m kind of skeptical but willing to learn more to see if that’s what I really am. I’m a new therapist and have been told by many clients that I’m good at what I do. Sometimes it’s still hard to accept that I am good therapist perhaps because I’m still learning. I do Have chronic headaches shoulder and neck pain. Can that just be my bad posture and bad health. I do get mentally and physically drained by the end of the day because I do love my job and put 100% into my clients. One thing I don’t tell a lot of people is that I can sense if a house, building, room, etc. Feels “heavy” or “light” in regards to spirits I guess. When I was a child I use to see a walking shadow in my house after my grandfather died however I don’t remember when I stopped seeing it but I could feel it. How can I know for sure that I’m actually an Empath? Or am I just a crazy therapist who needs to be medicated. If I am an Empath. Is there a way I can get better at it?
As far as physical fatigue is concerned, I have controlled it well by making exercise and diet priority items. In my own personal experience that has been invaluable. If I don’t make time to take care of me I become a mess fairly quick.
I am a male empath. I have shown signs of several of the differant types, not one, but nearly all of them. I am in a relationship with a empath, and I have discovered that it does not work out well. I was wondering if I could find help with this. Also when I feel others emotions I unknowingly mimic the emotions, even if they are trying to hide them. The problem is that it means instead of me being able to help the person, say for intance who is frustrated at me, I mimic that feeling and then respond to it as if it was my own. And I dont know how to get my brain to acknowledge it as their feelings and not mine. Please help me with this I am so confused.
I just had an epiphany today that I no longer wanted to take on everyone else’s emotional baggage and own it for myself. That I had been making myself a victim and allowing others to dump there negative emotion on/in me and I would then own them and feel them as my own. My mother always did the same things. I no longer want to stand for people leaving there emotional garbage with me and then treating me as if I were lazy or unmotivated when I can’t find the energy to continue.
I had heard the term intuitive empath recently and it resonated strongly with me. I decided to look up the term and meaning and along with some other things I found this site. I identify very strongly with wolves and they are my spirit animal. This seems to have all the information I have been seeking, or much of it. To turn what I was starting to think of as a curse, into a gift for my life. I have always had a very hard time keeping up with work or schooling even though I am highly intelligent and physically strong. I have never had problems passing tests, but I have always had problems staying interested or not getting overly anxious or even afraid of social situations. I have always learned well alone or in very small groups and sometimes the act of being in the presence of other people leaves me exhausted, especially when they are in a negative state.
I am afraid and at the same time very happy to find out what I am. I am afraid because I have been living my life 29 years without fully understanding what happens to me with other people, and happy because I am learning that this can improve my life instead of hindering it as it has in many ways up to this point. All I have ever wanted to do with my life is to help other people in any way I can. I always wanted to be a superhero and at times I “see” the future in a variety of ways including dreams. But also the experience some call deja vu happens to me fairly regularly and I always feel/know I have important choices or pivotal choices available to me in those moments.
Thank you for posting this information, I have felt very lost lately and I needed to discover why my interactions in society have been so difficult. I always knew I could sense/feel things and that it could help me. What I wasn’t aware of was how I owned others bad feelings and especially narcissists took advantage and dumped there loads on my shoulders which I happily took and first and slowly it became more and more of a begrudging task. I have been experience many life changes and spiritual awakenings in the last few years especially and this is my latest revelation. It hurts to except what I am because I have not had it as a positive experience most of the time. I allowed others to use me often and I never set up boundaries with people giving them the right to steal from me physically and emotionally. I know I have helped people along the way and indeed this is the most important thing in the world to me, but I understand now that I could have helped more and helped myself more if I fully understood what I am.
I have a son and daughter and I believe both of them have the same traits. I am certain about my son, my daughter is very young yet and It is harder to tell. I need to fully master myself so I can teach my son what it means. I don’t want him to have to go through the extreme pain and prejudice I have gone through in life. I have started working on a business of my own and I have never felt more accomplished and happy with my work life then I do now. Even though the business is small and needs allot of time and effort to grow, I could never keep to others schedules and no matter how hard I worked it was never recognized because I often fall ill, especially if everyone else is feeling ill. I have injured myself at work with hernia’s due to my need to please and not to let others work too hard. But this too has always been overlooked by employers. Most of which are extremely narcissistic personalities that delight in taking advantage of others for their own gains. I didn’t fully understand that not everyone feels the need to do right by or help everyone around them. I truly delight in seeing someone happy but at times I ask too much of myself to see these people happy as they don’t want to continue that happiness on there own.
I am overwhelmed and have so much more to say but what I really need to say is thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for helping with this growth I need so severely and that I will pass on the knowledge to those around me, especially my children so they can have better lives then mine has been up to this point merely by having the knowledge of what they are. So they can except themselves and help the world around them.
Love and Light from Halcyon Rain
I am an telepathic empath, I found this out recently a couple years ago and then I have done some research on it and I’m so glad I did because a lot of your information and others makes a lot of sense. Especially the growing up part, I cant tell you how many times I was called over sensitive by my mom because of my brother doing something to me and I would sound “over dramatic” or be told grow some skin. And now reading a lot of it makes me feel good I’m not the only one. Being an empath is exhausting because it stops Some things you want to do and can not because you feel what the other is feeling and you can only concentrate on that. But it also sucks because when you know how someone feels you can’t just tell them because they would find it weird and annoying. That part is the most exhausting to. Sometimes it’s helpful and easy to control and other times it won’t stop.