Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
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Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
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The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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Well, you couldn’t write it any better for who I am. I sense things and people’s emotions and environment changes both from a distance and near me. It’s like I had sense of “knowing” since I could remember. I knew when people lied to me,when they felt sick I’d get their symptoms, when they were anxious or nervous (its really like an outer body experience because its not your problems) I would feel total doom and sadness or anxiety and pure fear when storms, natural disasters or accidents would happen within 24 hours. Try to explain that to friends and family to avoid a certain place because of your gut feeling. They now ask me before going on airline flights or travels if everything is ok. I try to protect myself from a lot of negative influences,because, it is overwhelming,it makes me very tired if I let my guard down even for a few minutes. I notice when I come home from work, I have no choice but to power nap for an hour or so just to recharge my batteries of yes the energy vampires and whatever useless energy that seems to leak into my “bubble”. I am now… Read more »
A Heartfelt Thank you for this article. Helpful information to better understanding my son, and myself. It all makes sense now, phew! Wonderful insights.
–Blessings :)
I’m a sign language interpreter, and I’m currently trying to figure out how to explain to my parents that I don’t want an 8-3 job working in a school. It would be too exhausting to work there 5 days a week. My current job will only require me to work in a school twice a week. Any tips on how to make them understand? Their usual response to my attempts is “You don’t understand real life”. I even tried to express how fatigued it makes me, and I received a “everybody feels that way”. Sigh
I’m just scared I’ll get burned out and hate the profession I love so dearly.
I just now found out there’s a name for everything in this exhausting life of mine: “Empath”.
This empath test scored me at a 90. I have scored “high” on five other similar tests, taking a total of ten other tests, stopping part way through Six tests when I find the questions leading. All the tests that I felt were objective, point towards me being an empath. (Which I still have my doubts to believe)
If I were an empath, and if being an empath is a gift, where would I return it? Because if I really am an empath, I’d rather just plod along at my own life with blinders on like I see most folks do. It would make life so much easier if I could just live happily tuned out of everything going on around me. Knowing this may be a possibility only makes me feel worse than I already do.
Can you message me privately I have questions? Thank you.
i really like this article! have been working on not letting negative emotions rule my life for awhile,i was a mess for a long time. i was doing a guided meditation recently, i have a hard time visualizing anything, and i saw the profile of a wolf…was pretty amazing :)
Question…would going to a Reiki Healer help at all with all the overwhelming emotions, energy and pain? Maybe clearing out some of the energy from my energy field might help??
Reading this was so helpful for me. I’ve known for a long time that I was an empath, and have spent my adult life in a supportive role as my profession (I’m an administrative assistant, and was a band manager before that). I’m an ambivert…I used to be a great, big extrovert but as time has gone by I have retreated further into myself. It’s too exhausting to be around people all the time, and quite frankly I’m tired of people taking advantage of me and walking all over me. I have spent my life being the girl everyone turned to for everything…and now I just have to keep so many negative people at arms length. But I before reading this I had no idea why I am always tired, and physically ill. Now I understand. It makes so much sense to me, now. Thank you for the insight!! I know I have been given a gift…and I can’t keep it away from people…but I think I just need to continue to be a bit more selective about the people I allow into my inner circle. I love helping people…I have a firm belief that if someone cannot stand up… Read more »
I get it!, get it! – always interesting to find ‘others’ of a similar bend. in a world of disillusionment, nice to find people who are genuine. Have been reading a few of the articles, etc., and you both seem to fit this category ( genuine that is). i seem to have spent a lifetime of ‘seeking’ and have been mostly disappointed ( but wouldn’t change much of it) so i must say your site ‘clicks’ with my experience at least. well, just wanted to comment, you have given me a gasp of good air when i needed it. hope the moment finds you both well.
Curse. Definitely a curse. I wish I could stop the attacks on me, but I have been given so much pain and the intensity of it all. Wish it would stop. Nothing is working anymore. It’s as if the pain found I can feel it. The absolute darkness of it all. And that is darkness as in evil. I don’t wanna play this game anymore. It was fun at first until I found what I have been given was true and has happened. It think I have begun that dark road to insanity. There is so much more to all this but that’s crazy right.