Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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How can I get rid of it? I want to be normal
I scored 80% in empathy test,but lot of things differ, for ex: I never take naps.
You are so correct about being an empath. I am 50 and have been an empath all my life on top of that I have full kundalini activation and I have also had a NDE which completely activated my pineal gland so you can only imagine everything I pick up about people. Though I am very strong and most of the time I can let these energies flow in and out but it is the meanness of others that make me so angry. I just don’t want to go near these people. Their insecurities just make them behave in shocking was and there are days I’ve had enough. I just want to shut the world out. Thank you for you article xx love and Light Sonia
Hi, im ani. im 18 yrs old and for over a year I felt like I was crazy, that I needed serious help.simply bc when I talked to some people I had feelings/emotions or even when I touched them or would look at them. And I would question myself if any of that was real… how was it possible for me to do that.. why would strangers talk to me about their problems like if we were friends.. anyways it felt extremely good to know this is common to some other people/im not alone or that im making all this things up. Im going to keep researching/informing myself to be capable of helping others without harming myself.
I’ve been spending my adult life trying to figure out how to create that bubble. I feel I have done pretty good but as a wife to a man in chronic pain and mother to 2 young children I have my hands full on both the typical levels as well as my empath qualities. I have to limit who can have a piece of me because 3 people depend on me to keep it together. The last year or two it’s really hit home how important it is for me to take care of myself. Figuring out how to do that is quite a task. I am glad I recognize when I’m drained by someone else. I then prepare myself to be around them if I must. At times I can get quite contemptuous to those who just drain me selfishly. Fortunately I’ve been blessed to not have a great many toxic people in my life. What confounds me is how I have abject phobic fear of conflict. I also find I end up being whatever another person needs me to be, without even trying, it’s like everyone has a different view of who I am depending on what they… Read more »
Like everyone else, I had no idea that I was empath (this is tracing from childhood) until I read up on blogs and other websites. Like most of the posters, I hated it because (you know, the old church saying, “it’s evil!”) I couldn’t fully accept what I am. As time went by, especially approaching 49, instead of seeing being an empath as a “curse” or “something evil”, I see it as very beneficial. Now, I couldn’t imagine being anything else because I both help people and myself at the same time by not only listening to them, but also learning from them. If being an empath will make me a better person, then there is nothing “evil” about it. I have truly accepted this gift, and will definitely use it wisely.
I am glad to read this article because though I am a full empath, due to growing up in a hostile environment and constantly under surveillance and pressure I developed anger as a shield so now people see me ask dark and even evil.As a child I experienced many things that a child should not and therefore was always asleep, moody, acting out etc. and my father took me to a psychiatrist but all the while I was psychiatrist and helper to peers in school. Not to mention that I was also the smartest child in the school. But at home, they kept saying I had problems. All I ever tried to do was help everyone. I was a prodigy misunderstood. It has been difficult to excel in life and follow my dreams but I have been BLESSED with a FIERCE GUARDIAN ANGEL/SPIRIT GUIDE that has led me. I have often been called lazy and crazy but then I make things amazing happen and those same people come to me for help and advice. The soul that I am I both care enough not to hurt them and dont care enough not to hurt myself.That took YEARS TO LEARN!!!! BE… Read more »
Hi, I am also an empath. But, have you ever had close encounters with no-empathy people, such as sociopaths, narcissists? These people seem to struggle in life as well. I guess I felt sorry for their pain and their societal problems. It was something I could relate. But ultimately this empathy for non-empaths almost killed me. The moment I realised that they actually use tactics such as deliberate lying and manipulation to further their own goals was a cruel realisation. I still hesitate whether making friends with sociopaths/narcissists was a mistake or a life lesson. Maybe this knowledge is something I will need in the future…
I could read people at a young age and had this immense ability to pick up on lies and feelings from other people. Just a sense of knowing. Always helping others in my life I’ve realised that my way of always people pleasing and not listening to my gut when red flags were flashing has often had me in trouble with being used by others. Never thinking of me but other people. Something I’m now working on. I’ve been accused of being lazy, criticised, judged for just being me led me to depression. Now working on personal development I’m seeing more and more the beauty of being an empathetic person. I believe in being more aware of my abilities but also the ability to be more aware of seeing red flags to protect myself.
When I was a child I used to have an intense inexplicable fear of demons dragging my soul away into the darkness forever. Now I feel like it has come true. It seems I am never allowed to be happy for long before I am drowned again in some heavy wave of emotion. I have faced every emotion in the book head-on, over and over and over. Sometimes I wonder if this empath thing is real or just my imagination and I’m really just a miserable person. But those times when I am happy I’m an eternal optimist. And to be out in nature and away from people is a huge relief. It’s so hard to know what’s real and who I really am.