LonerWolf

menu icon
go to homepage
  • Start Here
  • Shop
  • Subscribe
  • Free Tests
  • Contact
  • Membership
  • Course
  • Freebies
subscribe
search icon
Homepage link
  • Start Here
  • Shop
  • Subscribe
  • Free Tests
  • Contact
  • Membership
  • Course
  • Freebies
×
» Home » Resisting The Path

15 Signs of Self-Loathing and How to Heal

by Aletheia Luna · Updated: Apr 3, 2025 · 143 Comments

Image of a woman holding up a balloon symbolizing self-loathing
self-loathing signs and symptoms image

Your life is a living hell.

No matter what you do, no matter where you go, there’s the unshakeable feeling within you that you’re pathetic, worthless, ugly, stupid, and a total failure at everything.

You may achieve something, and you may be given love and affection, but you brush it off because of the toxic shame filled self-loathing voice within you that whispers: 


Spiritual Wanderer Course image

Spiritual Wanderer Course:

Find your deepest path and purpose in life as a spiritual wanderer. In this immersive course, you get 3+ hours of content, workbooks, meditations, a premium test, and more!


Who do you think you are? You’re no one. You’re not good enough. You’ll never be good enough. Stop fooling yourself, you f*cking idiot. 

Can you relate to this incessant feeling of self-loathing and self-hatred?

Do you feel like, no matter what you do, you’re unimportant, inferior, unwanted, broken, hopeless, useless, ridiculous, and unlovable? 

I have been there before. 

In fact, my self-hatred at one point was so intense that I resorted to self-harm in order to cope with it. For many years, I was trapped in the prison of my mind, and it was a horrific experience – something that many people cannot even begin to understand.

The truth is that there’s no quick, one-size-fits-all solution for self-loathing. But there are many ways to overcome it. And the fact that you’re here is already one step in the right direction toward self-love and self-compassion.

Table of contents

  • Self-Loathing Definition
  • Hating Yourself: 3 Reasons Why It Happens
  • 15 Signs You’re Struggling With Self-Loathing
  • Self-Loathing, Spiritual Awakening, and the Dark Night of the Soul
  • 7 Ways to Overcome Self-Loathing and Stop Hating Yourself
  • Hating Yourself is Based on a Simple Misunderstanding

Self-Loathing Definition

Image of a person in the shadows who is experiencing self-loathing
What is Self-Loathing?


Self-loathing is synonymous with self-hatred: it’s an extreme dislike of oneself. It’s fuelled by anger, low self-esteem, and a distorted perception of oneself due to misguided thoughts and toxic self-beliefs. In most cases, self-loathing is the result of having a dysfunctional upbringing. 

Hating Yourself: 3 Reasons Why It Happens

Image of a tormented self-loathing woman screaming

Hating yourself sucks. And it’s more complex than it looks on the surface. 

In order to overcome your self-loathing, you need to understand why it happens and where it came from.


Image of an eclipse

Shadow & Light Membership:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ "Shadow and Light’s weekly guidance always rings true to my heart. Thanks for acknowledging my shadows and inviting my inner light. I always get excited to open the Shadow and Light emails on Sunday!" – Angela M.


There are three main factors at the root of hating yourself:

  1. Poor family environment
  2. Poor social environment
  3. Ego possession and soul loss

1. Poor family environment

Firstly, there is the poor family environment. When we’re raised in a family that is either (a) too smothering and possessive or (b) too neglectful and rejecting of us – or in some cases, both combined – we internalize the idea that there’s something defective or wrong with us. Why else would our parents or family members behave in that way? Why else would they harm us? Mommy and Daddy are meant to love us, right?

You see, as young children, we needed to see our parents in an almost godlike way. To us, they needed to be right, safe, and infallible because if we mistrusted them, it would have been very hard for us to survive (emotionally, mentally, and in some cases physically).

Therefore, instead of critically analyzing and condemning our parents (which young children don’t have the cognitive capacity to do), we turned the blame onto ourselves. We felt there was something wrong with us. We felt that we were wrong, bad, and shameful for the way our parents and family members treated us. We took the blame for something they did wrong.

Thus, we have one major cause of self-loathing: it’s based on the misguided core belief that we adopted as children that there’s something fundamentally wrong with us.

As psychoanalyst and philosopher Alice Miller writes:

The love a child has for his or her parents ensures that their conscious or unconscious acts of mental cruelty will go undetected.

Author and therapist Anodea Judith goes on to explain:

Since we usually identify with our caretakers and their values, the way they treat us teaches us about our value as human beings. We take on their attitudes toward us. Abuse makes us feel unlovable, and feeling defective only adds to our shame. Unlovable, we are no longer in touch with our divinity, our specialness, our validity as human beings. Convinced that the fault lies in some intrinsic flaw, to which we are blind and helpless, we abandon ourselves.

2. Poor social environment

Building on top of a poor family environment is a poor social environment. And you don’t have to look very deep into society before you come across some really nasty shit.

Other than the typical cases of bullying we see in schools, our childhood social environments that were outside of the house may have reinforced our self-loathing even more through the harmful effects of social media conditioning and the obsessive toxic comparison with others.

If you were alive before the rise of social media and internet usage, you might have come across critical and shame-driven teachers or education systems that made you feel worthless or inferior if you didn’t meet their standards of success.

Would you like to save this?

We'll email this article to you, so you can come back to it later!

Your information will never be shared.

Any experience or environment that reinforced the false idea that “there’s something wrong with you” likely deepened the amount of self-loathing you held. And if you’ve ever read into basic psychology, you’ll know that the mind likes patterns, so you’ll eventually find yourself in a bubble full of confirmation bias where you’re constantly looking out for and receiving validation that you’re worthless. This pattern occurs because it appeases the mind’s need to control and understand life.

(It’s the exact same bubble algorithm that social media networks like Facebook use – except self-loathing plays with your entire life, on-screen and off-screen.)

3. Ego possession and soul loss

Finally, we come to the core issue at the heart of all self-loathing: soul loss. This term may cause you to roll your eyes or feel confused – but hear me out.

We are all born with no sense of “me,” “my,” and “I.” As babies, we are ego-less and at One with the Universe. But as we grow older, in order to survive in this world, we need to separate ourselves to build a sense of self. To construct an ego. 

This basic separation from the Universe, from the Divine, is at the root of all self-loathing. We can only hate ourselves when there is someone to hate. Without that someone, without that ego, there is no self-loathing and, therefore, no suffering. (By the way, this state of egolessness has been referred to as heaven, Self-realization, Nirvana, illumination, enlightenment, and so on for thousands of years.)

Soul loss occurs when we get so enmeshed and immersed in our fabricated egos that we feel totally disconnected from anything good, meaningful, or real. Instead, we feel empty, lost, hopeless, and in many cases, full of self-loathing.

The good news is that you can experience this for yourself – you don’t have to believe one iota of what I’m saying. The gateway to experiencing the reality that your sense of “you” is not real is through meditation. 

If you’d like to take a tentative step in this direction, I recommend practicing mindfulness meditation and downloading a free app like InsightTimer (which is what I use). There are thousands of free meditations on this app, and to help narrow your focus, you might like to start with the self-compassion or self-observation meditations that are available.

Later in this article, I’ll explore how to prevent your ego from possessing you. But in the meantime, you might like to open in a new tab or browser window the following articles to read later:

  • What is the Ego? Should it Be Destroyed?
  • 21 Signs You’re Experiencing “Soul Loss”

15 Signs You’re Struggling With Self-Loathing

Image of a depressed self-loathing man

How can it be “happy hour” if I spend the entire time crying tears of self-loathing & despair into my $1.50 beer?

– Unknown

Are you struggling with self-loathing? Pay attention to these signs – some of them are surprising and lesser-known than the others:

  • Extremely harsh self-talk (“I’m stupid,” “I’m worthless,” etc.).
  • Depression and anxiety.
  • Feeling chronically insecure around others.
  • Slouched or poor posture.
  • Neglecting your body and health.
  • Self-sabotage and self-destructive behavior (aka., not allowing yourself to be happy).
  • Anger issues.
  • Refusing compliments, advice, or help.
  • Self-isolation.
  • Addictions or addictive tendencies.
  • Having a martyr complex.
  • Feeling like a victim all the time.
  • Defeatist mindsets like “What’s the point,” “I can’t do this,” and “This is hopeless.”
  • Hopelessness.
  • Aimlessness.

All of these behaviors and tendencies inevitably result in, and are caused by, self-loathing.

Self-Loathing, Spiritual Awakening, and the Dark Night of the Soul

Image of a lonely man standing on a dark hill experiencing a dark night of the soul

Sometimes, experiencing self-loathing is a sign that you’re going through a Dark Night of the Soul, which is essentially the shadow side of the spiritual awakening process, a typically uncomfortable but expansive journey of transformation.

When we undergo a Dark Night of the Soul, we feel abandoned by God or Spirit, we carry an inner feeling of emptiness and aloneness, and we have the sense that we’re totally cut off from the Divine.

The Dark Night is also accompanied by existential questions such as “What is the meaning of my life?” “Why do good people suffer?“ and “Who am I?”

It’s common to do a lot of Soul searching during the Dark Night and to feel disconnected from our True Nature, our place in the world, and our life purpose. The result is often a feeling of existential depression and feeling alone and isolated from everyone and everything.


Spiritual Awakening Bundle cover

Spiritual Awakening Bundle:

Find your spiritual purpose. Deepen your self-understanding. Learn to embrace who you are. Let us show you how …


If your self-loathing seems to have a deeper dimension to it beyond just a self-worth issue, you might like to learn more about the Dark Night of the Soul.

7 Ways to Overcome Self-Loathing and Stop Hating Yourself

Image of a sign that says I hate nothing about you

How has it come about that we are so bewitched by our self-hatred, so impressed and credulous in the face of our self-criticism, as unimaginative as it usually is? … Self-criticism, when it isn’t useful in the way any self-correcting approach can be, is self-hypnosis. It is judgement as spell, or curse, not as conversation; it is an order, not a negotiation; it is dogma, not overinterpretation.

– Adam Phillips

By now, a sense of frustration, desperation, or grief may be welling up inside of you.

Not only do you feel tormented by your self-loathing, but you also feel victimized by it as well. 

Well, the truth is that you are being victimized by your self-hatred. But you don’t have to stay a victim forever. 

You’ve already taken the first step in the direction of health and well-being without even knowing it. (Well done, by the way.) Next, it’s time to step out of the role of victim and into the role of warrior. 

Here are some powerful ways of overcoming self-loathing.:

1. Get the hell off social media

Social media and self-loathing

You heard me. Take a break, or detox, from social media – and set your goal for 30 days. If that seems too long, try one week with no social media. I’m talking no Facebook, no Instagram, no TikTok, and no YouTube – none of it!

If you have to uninstall a hoard of apps, do it. If you have to shove your laptop under the bed in a locked vault, do it. Go hermit mode. Say sayōnara to the constant notification dings and stream of other people’s mental vomit. You’ll be happy you made this choice!

The reason why I advise you to get the hell off social media is that it tends to reinforce self-loathing through a phenomenon known as toxic comparison.

When we go on social media, we see a finely curated version of other people’s lives. We see what others want us to see, not what is actually going on under the surface. And we then compare our lives to those picture-perfect versions of other people’s realities. As a result, we start to get anxious, depressed, and full of self-loathing. Doesn’t that suck?

“Why can’t I be that slim/ripped?” we may lament as we scroll through endless pictures of chiseled bodies in bizarre yoga poses. “Their house/boyfriend/wife/holidays/life is so amazing, and mine … sucks.” 

Can you see where all this leads? Yes, we begin to feel horrible about ourselves and our lives.

So please distance yourself from social media. It should be classified as a Class A Substance because of its addictive potential and negative side effects. 

By the way, according to many studies, people who take a break from social media report feeling happier, more relaxed, and more productive. So take comfort in that and use this information to motivate you to turn off and tune out.

2. Do one kind thing for yourself every day

Self-care and self-loathing image

It doesn’t matter what that one nice action is, do something, anything that is well-intentioned toward yourself. 

Spiritual Awakening Test image

For example, this one kind of action may involve putting on an extra jacket when you feel cold, making yourself a healthy breakfast, going to bed early, taking a walk in nature, or having a warm bubble bath. Just make sure that you’re consciously doing it with the right intention, which is to show kindness toward yourself.

Doing one good thing for yourself every day can feel weird at first. If it does, take a minute to note down those feelings and responses in a journal.

In fact, if you’re stuck for ideas, I recommend journaling every day. If you don’t know how to approach journaling, see my How to Start Journaling article.

You may also like to get our guided Self-Love Journal which can be tremendously supportive on your journey to recovering from self-loathing.

3. Creatively express your self-loathing

Art therapy and self-loathing

Art is a powerful healing practice that will help you come to terms with how self-loathing is influencing you.

One powerful art practice is to get a big sheet of blank paper and a few colored pens and draw yourself as the self-loathing part of you perceives you. Then, get another piece of paper and draw yourself as a genuinely loving and compassionate person would see you. 

Compare the two drawings. How do they make you feel? What memories or thoughts arise? You may like to write these down on the back of each drawing.

If you get a lot out of this practice, you might like to look into the field of art therapy more in-depth. (See this article on art therapy for more guidance.)

4. Explore the question, “Does my environment support me?”

Image of happy people jumping together

In other words, do your friends support you? Do your colleagues support you? Does your work, family, or study environment support you?

When I write “support you,” what I really mean is, do these people and environments uphold and uplift you?

If you feel loved and accepted exactly the way you are, you are in a supportive environment.

If, on the other hand, you’re surrounded by people who belittle, condemn, or frequently reject you, you’re in an environment that reinforces self-loathing. Such a situation is toxic, and in the interest of your health and happiness, I strongly advise you to do some heavy-duty “spring cleaning” and remove these people from your life if possible – or distance yourself as much as possible.

It can feel scary to change friends, jobs, and habits. It can feel daunting to stand up and make a change – despite what the harsh and critical voice in your head says. But you have a warrior inside of you, and you have the right to be happy and to live a life that supports you. 

So do some thinking. Assess your life right now. Plan escape routes. Seek out those who uphold and uplift you. It may take some time, but it is so worth doing. Neglecting this practice is like trying to build a castle on top of a swamp: it’s unstable. Any changes you make will be undermined by those around you if you aren’t careful. So choose your company wisely. 

5. Explore your core beliefs (and reframe them)

Image of a spider's web that represents core beliefs

Your core beliefs are the central convictions or strongly held ideas that you have about yourself. Everything else in your life – your habits, behaviors, self-talk, job choices, friends, partners – will revolve around these central beliefs. And if these beliefs are negative, beware! So much pain and suffering in life stems from our toxic core beliefs.

For over a decade, we've strived to make this website a haven of free, valuable information. Imagine a world where this knowledge wasn't readily available. If this post sparked a meaningful insight or helped you in any way, please consider a donation as a heartfelt "thank you" for keeping this resource free. Every contribution, big or small, allows us to keep giving back.

heart icon $3heart icon $5heart icon $7heart icon $10heart icon $25

$

Common negative core beliefs include:

  • “I am bad.”
  • “I am worthless.”
  • “I am unlovable.”
  • “I am defective.”

In my article on core beliefs (which I strongly encourage you to read), I show you how to get to the root of these central convictions and uncover your core beliefs.

Once you have found your core belief, it’s then essential to reframe and reprogram it. So, for example, if your core belief is “I am unlovable,” then you would hold as your mantra something like “I am lovable,” or “I am worthy of love.” 

This affirmation can be repeated endlessly throughout the day whenever a thought or feeling of self-loathing arises. Slowly, you will shift your core belief from being toxic and negative to being healthy and positive.

6. Commit to self-love and self-care

Image of a lonely sad women with her core wound

Self-love and self-care are commitments and attitudes we bring into our lives. When we walk the path of self-love, we are taking every opportunity we can to take care of ourselves – no matter what happens or who happens to hurt us.

What’s the difference between self-love and self-care, you may wonder? Well, self-love is more directed toward the heart and mind. Self-care, on the other hand, is more body-oriented. 

Ultimately, the goal is to take care of all levels of your being (your body, heart, mind, and soul). That’s why I recommend you read our articles on how to love yourself and how to practice self-care as key places to start.

7. Take care of your soul (mindfulness + meditation)

Old Soul Test image

As I mentioned above, soul loss is at the very root of self-loathing. When we are disconnected from the Divine – in whatever form that is to us – we feel empty, dead, and lost inside.

The easiest way to re-establish a connection with your soul is through mindfulness and meditation. 

Mindfulness reconnects you with the present moment, which is where all the magic happens, and meditation helps you to move past your ego and experience your soul.

Mindfulness and meditation also help you to deal with self-loathing thoughts by becoming aware of them. Once you become aware of these self-hating thoughts, you become an observer of them rather than being lost in them. It’s kind of like the difference between being in a dramatic movie versus sitting back in the movie theater and watching the movie in a relaxed manner. 

If you don’t meditate already, I encourage you to download an app like InsightTimer, Headspace, or Calm. There are thousands of free meditations on these apps, and I guarantee that you’ll find something that resonates with you after browsing for a couple of minutes.

One of the greatest discoveries I’ve made is that mindfulness and meditation can be practiced anytime, anywhere, and with anything. The beauty is that it can become a way of life, a constant doorway to freedom from suffering. And that is the true beauty of practices such as these.

Hating Yourself is Based on a Simple Misunderstanding

Image of a woman feeling happy and showing self-love

In conclusion, I want to highlight the simple truth that hating yourself is based on a fundamental misunderstanding about your worth. 

At the root of self-loathing is the belief that there’s something intrinsically wrong, bad, or defective about you. But that isn’t so. 

Sign up to our LonerWolf Howl newsletter

Get free weekly soul-centered guidance for your spiritual awakening journey! (100% secure.)

70,000+ Readers

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of being seen. You are worthy of being held. 

You are a child of the Universe, and you are here for a reason.

Who has the right to say otherwise? (Answer: No one.)

The only way you can truly understand this for yourself is to start your own spiritual journey – to be the rebel, the lone wolf that revolts against your thoughts and the ego that likes to make you feel worthless. 

It is your birthright to pave your own path, blaze your own trail in life, and refuse to be tamed by your conditioning. 

It’s time to step up and reclaim your self-sovereignty. 

Will you accept the call?

***

What does self-loathing feel like to you? If you’ve managed to overcome it, what helped? Please share below!

If you need more help, we offer 3 powerful ways to guide you on your inner journey:

1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Feeling lost or uncertain about your path and purpose in life? Gain clarity and focus by learning about the five archetypes of awakening within you. Discover your deeper path and purpose using our in-depth psychospiritual map. Includes 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, and a premium test.

2. Shadow & Light Membership: Seeking ongoing support for your spiritual journey? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Deepen your self-love and receive personal support from us.

3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Ready to soul search and dive deep? Access our complete "essentials" collection of beloved journals and eBooks. Includes five enlightening eBooks and seven guided journals, plus two special bonuses to further illuminate your path.

More Resisting The Path

  • Ai generated image of a person who has no motivation to do anything with their life in a forest
    No Motivation to Do Anything? 18 Reasons Why
  • Image of a silhouette of people standing on the horizon symbolic of the toxic family
    Toxic Family: 15 Signs & Ways to Deal With Their Negativity
  • Image of an angry man in a dissociated state who needs to learn how to let go of resentment for his peace of mind
    How to Let Go of Resentment: 5 Ways to Find Peace
  • Ai generated image of a wolf feeling lost in a dark forest under the stars
    Feeling Lost? How to Embrace the Unknown (+ 18 Illuminating Questions)
2.1K shares
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • WhatsApp
  • Print

About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is a prolific psychospiritual writer, author, educator, and intuitive guide whose work has touched the lives of millions worldwide. As a survivor of fundamentalist religious abuse, her mission is to help others find love, strength, and inner light in even the darkest places. She is the author of hundreds of popular articles, as well as numerous books and journals on the topics of Self-Love, Spiritual Awakening, and more. [Read More]

(143) Comments

    Want to share your thoughts? Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Your email address will remain 100% private.

  1. nils says

    March 21, 2020 at 3:10 am

    If “just tell yourself you’re likable” worked, I wouldn’t have been driven to the Google search that led me to this article. It probably wouldn’t even need to be written, at least not in as many words (mind you, almost nothing in the self-help industry needs to be written, at least not in as many words).

    So this was not useful for me except to make me feel worse about myself, but I also want to add – this text box looks as though it uses a dyslexia-friendly font, which is nice to see (unless I’m wrong). Cheers for accessibility.

    Reply
    • Scott says

      April 07, 2020 at 5:07 am

      Nils – hear, hear! Simply telling yourself you are worthy and lovable does not make it the truth.

      To quote the article above:
      “At the root of self-loathing is the belief that there’s something intrinsically wrong, bad, or defective about you. But that simply isn’t so.”

      Prove it.

      Reply
  2. beren says

    March 13, 2020 at 12:17 pm

    Hi there, this site is a haven for me as it is for many others Luna and Sol have helped, thank you!

    I was reading this today when I’ve been in sucked into a deep spiral of shame and grief. I have been marinating in suicidal thoughts all day. I am one of those people who grew up being conditioned to feel inferior and submissive. I’ve been in a strained relationship for a long time, and the amount of rejection and neglect I’ve endured in this relationship has completely gutted me. That isn’t to say I’m a saint or a victim, just human. I have been trying to reignite and repair my relationship, I know it takes two for a relationship disintegrate and I have played my part in that. And I feel so unloved, painfully so.

    I was driving home from an appointment with my psychiatrist today. She had asked how I was, I thought about it for a minute, then I looked at her and tried to say without choking that I was barely getting by, the truth.

    I spent the rest of my drive back to work fighting back tears of frustration, despair, and resignation.

    As sad as it is to say, life is not fair, and it can often be ruthlessly brutal. I really appreciate the people that do care, and try to help others suffering such as myself. And like today, as I left the doctor’s office, I know despite their efforts, the only person that can rescue me is me.

    And I can’t help but feel that is never going to happen. I’ve struggled a great deal with self hatred; at this point, I don’t even know that I do hate myself, I just want to close my eyes and never wake up again.

    There’s a perverse sort of way that personal growth, driven by pain, seems abusive or masochist to me; this seeming contradiction can undermine the premise of the purpose or inherent goodness of life for me at times. I do believe in universal love, but right now all I can think about are the ways life might manifest some mercy to put me out of my misery.

    I suppose at least I remain undaunted by Corona virus fears, it would only be doing me a favor if it killed me.

    Love to all the healers and sufferers out there!

    Reply
    • Darren Foo Keung Lee 1509 S 9th St Las Vegas 89104 DOB 3-4-1967 035-52-2321 says

      August 11, 2021 at 3:37 am

      (re: “… I remain undaunted by Corona virus fears …”)
      I don’t know why that made me laugh, other than being able to relate. I know it’s awful, but I just love it when I hear people saying how tough it is being isolated and unconnected. Ha! Welcome to MY world, influencer! My life hasn’t changed one bit from COVID ! (except for wearing a mask where I go for essentials like cigarettes, booze, and… oh yeah, and my sugar/fat/salt products) See how angry, abusive and toxic I am? My bottom line in life’s ledger is without a doubt RED. I’m a taker, a user, a manipulator, a liar, a scumbag… But I’m SPECIAL, aren’t I? Everyday I tell my loser self that I’m a worthless turd.

      Your talk about your broken relationship sounds like a dream to me since I have never had one. I am a 54 year old male virgin with so much repressed tension… cemented in place by a lifetime of cowardice, that the slightest speck can snowball into a seething vortex of hissy-fits. To me it feels like the MGM lion roaring, but I know it’s more like a pigeon. I have food and shelter with no fears of jail for saying the orange commander is pure evil. I have no legitimate hardships yet I whine and complain like the worthless loser that I am.

      So yeah, isn’t it funny how people get all worked up about the corona virus?

      Reply
  3. Dayana says

    February 05, 2020 at 10:02 am

    I’ll never be something, you see those famous people and think I want to be like them but then I think I come from a town were nothing important happens and the only ‘talent” I have is drawing but when you think about it what really is talent. Talent could be different for many people and for me what I do is never enough because I see other peoples art.I try to be happy and put on a “mask” for people because if I aid what I wanted to the would dismis it and wouldn’t take me serious.

    Reply
  4. Dayana says

    February 05, 2020 at 9:54 am

    Well I hate myself because I feel like nothing. Due to school home and stress. Most of the stress is caused by school and home. But either way whats the point of following this when deep down you know you’ll never be anything.

    Reply
  5. Jacob says

    February 01, 2020 at 7:57 pm

    I’m currently having serious struggles with this myself. It’s gotten so bad that it’s effecting a job that I really enjoy, my relationship with my family and my children, friends, and my relationship with someone that I love. I’ve only started the process, I’m a writer. Once I finally just stopped thinking and wrote everything down that I was stressing about I finally came to the realization that for most of my life, I just simply thought I wasn’t worth anything. All the information, and reading the comments that everyone has shared. I’m gunna be using it all. I need to start somewhere. But I guess that just being able to admit it to myself is a start.

    Reply
  6. Barb says

    January 07, 2020 at 12:32 pm

    This article has helped me immensely. I hope to put past pain behind me and not have it always there to push me down. I have a child who is coming into his teenage years and I don’t want him picking up on my issues. I just wanted to say that you guys are awesome. Thank you for helping me.

    Reply
  7. Derek says

    November 17, 2019 at 1:39 pm

    This site is literally helping me quiet and hopefully extinguish my recent thoughts of suicide.. thank you so much. Today was particularly rough and it’s getting really scary. You helped me and I want you to know that. I can’t wait to read more.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      November 17, 2019 at 3:40 pm

      Derek, it means so much to know that. <3 Take good care of yourself – embrace that inner wolf that has the thirst to live and thrive and be free.

      Reply
  8. Mary Jo says

    September 24, 2019 at 10:18 am

    I’ve had so much to overcome, but above all, self loathing has been the instigator of all my problems. My secret to getting well and finding myself? Smiling. It’s funny, you can’t be unhappy or think unhappy thoughts long (even about yourself) with a smile on your face. Smiling stimulates all the right hormones and harmonies with a positive outlook. Pretty soon (with continued smiling efforts), you are more forgiving, easier going and thoughtful. I do meditate but am still a beginner. Still working on that lol. Love and light to all!

    Reply
  9. ahimsa42 says

    September 21, 2019 at 8:52 am

    sadly, some of us truly are ugly, unwanted, worthless losers due to factors entirely beyond our control (i.e. inferior genetics). there is only so much failure & rejection one can take before coming to understand this harsh reality. i don’t hate myself anymore after coming to the realization that i did not ask to be this way so it’s not my fault but this does not make accepting being so defective any easier or make life any less lonely or meaningless.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      September 21, 2019 at 10:53 am

      sadly, some of us truly are ugly, unwanted, worthless losers due to factors entirely beyond our control (i.e. inferior genetics)

      Ahisma, I think I can understand where you’re coming from. However, it would be worth asking (1) what truly is “ugliness”? it’s an awfully subjective thing (2) what is “unwanted”? By whom? And is that true 100% of the time? (3) “worthless” is a judgment against ourselves that is based on a mental story – why are you worthless? Is that the case 100% of the time? Can you find evidence that you’re not worthless? (4) “loser” is also a label, a judgment and form of condemnation that’s based on a mental story – it’s no more real than thinking we’re big fat pink giraffes. Can you find evidence that you’re not a loser?

      These assumptions and judgments need to be questioned. When we see the world through a black-and-white all-or-nothing lens, it may seem that we’re perceiving clearly. But we aren’t. If you need help seeing through these mental stories, I encourage you to read up on the mental traps that cause anxiety and depression. I hope you feel better. <3

      Reply
      • ahimsa42 says

        September 21, 2019 at 4:49 pm

        thanks for your reply & suggestions Aletheia. a lifetime of failure & rejection when it comes to dating & intimate relationships has made me extremely lonely, depressed & bitter. i am an ugly, worthless loser because the women whom i am attracted to are NEVER interested in me so i have a lifetime of being single & lonely to look forward to. the sad truth is that some of us are simply not good enough to be desired & loved so are destined to be alone. after many, many years i have found no evidence to the contrary for these extremely harsh truths and now after wasting my entire life i am far too old for anything to ever get better.

        Reply
        • Mary Jo says

          September 24, 2019 at 10:27 am

          Dear ahimsa42,
          My husband thought much the same as you. Well, truth is, so did I. But we did find each other (in our late 50’s lol) and count our lucky stars for once that we’ve both struck love gold so to speak. I may always half doubt when he says I’m beautiful and he when I ogle his handsome face, but we are working on it as a couple. Don’t give up hope. There is someone for you in your future. Some of us just have to wait longer than others.

          Reply
          • Gregg M Orr says

            April 08, 2020 at 3:54 pm

            That’s not quite fair. Some people actually don’t find their love partner. And being unattractive in society’s eyes does effect the stats.

    • Anya says

      January 28, 2020 at 4:05 am

      I think this is all perception or conditioning because I am very attractive b6t no matter what I always felt ugly and not good enough. I was in relationships where I was told i wasn’t , was cheated on and neglected. I think I’m a good kind person and I feel attractive but when others put me down I begin to question myself. How can I give so much love only to be rejected over and over or compared to unrealistic people. I realize now that it’s not me but them. Nobody who loves with all their soul could possibly be ugly. It’s the ones who lack love in their soul who project themselves onto you so their ego can feel better. The ones who flaunt their physical beauty are not love but ego. Their job is to make others feel ugly to harness their own power but inside they have no love or true beauty which doesn’t need eyes to see.

      Reply
  10. I AM says

    September 17, 2019 at 1:25 am

    On a side note, the “not a iota” is an expression spread out also in non-English speaking Western/Christian countries and the iota refers to the I as in I AM – JHVH/Zeus/Jupiter/Oden – the Righteous One and the Most High on “tenth” dimension (actually since this summer there are 11D). Who had the power to create and spread a derogatory connotation of the I? The clergy, of course. Why? Ascended master Sevan Bomar (Innerstanding at Youtube) showed this summer that Lucifer is a woman…cloaked by the clergy for sake of deception primarily to create the notion of the “suppressed Divine Feminine”. The latter is a physical impossibility as shown by Dr Dan Winter (the Yin and the Yang have different and complimentary properties) and Dr Bruce Lipton (his concept of creative/destructive intervention dictates that when equal power forces/waves bounce off each other they create waves of harmony and that nothing can survive in disharmony). But for the Lucifarians to be able to gain ground on their battle field it is strategic to instill ideas of an imbalance, and consequently the New Age Order clergy have replaced the I AM with the cult of the self – “all is self” – ego.

    Reply
    • Derek says

      November 17, 2019 at 1:27 pm

      This site is literally helping me quiet and hopefully extinguish my recent thoughts of suicide.. thank you so much. Today was particularly rough and it’s getting really scary. You helped me and I want you to know that. I can’t wait to read more.

      Reply
« Older Comments
Newer Comments »

Popular Guides

  • Spiritual Awakening
  • Inner Child Work
  • Shadow Work
  • Dark Night of the Soul

Popular Tests

  • What Type of Spiritual Wanderer Are You?
  • What Is Your Subconscious Mind Hiding?
  • How Dominant is Your Shadow Self?
  • What Type of Inner Work Suits You?

Popular Offerings

  • Spiritual Wanderer Course
  • Shadow & Light Membership
  • The Spiritual Awakening Bundle
  • Inner Work Bundle

Stages of the Journey

  • Spiritual Calling
  • Resisting The Path
  • Finding Guidance
  • Starting The Journey
  • Turning Inwards
  • Facing The Darkness
  • Illumination
  • Traps & Pitfalls
  • Rebirth
  • Integration

Footer

↑ back to top

This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases, this means whenever you buy a book on Amazon from a link on this website, we receive a small percentage of its price at no extra cost to you.

 

Walk the path less traveled

Image of aletheia luna and mateo sol

Welcome! Our names are Aletheia Luna & Mateo Sol and we’re spiritual educators currently living in Perth, Western Australia. What's this website about? For spiritual rebels and outsiders, our mission is to help you dissolve the shadows that obscure your inner Light and find peace, love, and happiness. Unlike other spiritual spaces, lonerwolf focuses on approaching the spiritual awakening journey in a discerning and down-to-earth-way. Start here »

 

Let The Universe Choose My Message!

About

  • About us
  • Our Principles
  • Reposting Our Work?
  • Moon Phase Spiritual Meaning Calculator

Newsletter

  • Are you a spiritual wanderer or outsider? Feeling lost, confused, or alone? Sign Up for our weekly LonerWolf Howl newsletter for Soul-centered guidance – it’s free!

Whadjuk Noongar

  • We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land, the Whadjuk people of Noongar Boodjar. We recognize their continued connection to the land and waters of this beautiful place and acknowledge that they never ceded sovereignty. We respect all Whadjuk Elders both past and present, and any First Nations people.

 

Luna & Sol Pty Ltd © 2012 - 2025 LonerWolf.com. All Rights Reserved.

Privacy & Terms

2.1K shares