In our society, there is a mysterious phenomenon occurring known as “Soul Loss” arising in all people of all ages, genders, races, and backgrounds.
Indigenous people have known about the occurrence of Soul Loss for millennia and understand it as the result of an inner fragmentation caused by a traumatic experience or an intense shock to the mind and body.
While for many of us Soul Loss sounds uncomfortably familiar, this experience is usually temporary, and with the proper inner work, these lost elements of ourselves can be reintegrated into our lives.
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What is Soul Loss?
When we experience Soul Loss, a part of our Soul – or living essence – ‘hides’ or shuts away, hindering us from expressing and experiencing our true potential and wholeness as human beings.
Often times entire aspects of our psyches are completely blocked out or repressed.
During my exploration of shamanism and its methods of soul retrieval, Soul Loss was defined as the experience of the Soul traveling to other realms or alternate realities, and often being possessed by spirits.
From the shamanic perspective, when these parts of our Souls are not recovered, we can’t seem to find inner completion or Wholeness.
Before psychology, this explanation was the only way primal cultures could explain (what we refer to in modern times as) trauma in order to find ways to treat it – and it was immensely effective at the time.
However, Soul Loss can now be approached from many different angles. We’ll explore these varying perspectives next.
How Does Soul Loss Happen?
Sadly, in our modern world, Soul Loss is the rule rather than the exception.
As individuals, we lose connection with our souls (or True Nature) every time we identify with our egos and seek to feel whole again through addictions, stimulation seeking, dogmatic beliefs, conditional relationships, and workaholism.
But there’s a reason why we identify with the ego and disconnect from the Soul in the first place: it’s a survival mechanism.
We must develop a sense of self, a separate sense of “me” in the world in order to function.
But simultaneously, developing an ego (which is basically one big defense mechanism to ensure that we’re loved, accepted, taken care of, avoid pain, etc.) means that we lose touch with the authentic essence of who we truly are: the Soul.
As a result of Soul Loss, we begin experiencing symptoms of weakness, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and emptiness.
We just know that something is missing from our lives – but many of us struggle to discover what exactly is missing.
To understand Soul Loss as a loss, or disconnection, from the most vital parts of who we are is known in psychology as dissociation: the root of many mental illnesses.
The Psychology Behind Soul Loss
So how does the actual process of losing touch with our Soul happen, from a psychological standpoint?
When we become disconnected from the root of who we are, an imbalance is created within the psyche. This disconnection grows through time and can be intensified by traumatic circumstances that have a tendency to fragment the psyche.
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What happens when our psyches fragment? The answer is that individual parts of our personality (e.g., the shadow self, anima, animus, etc.) are made independent and thus escape the control of the conscious mind.
Lingering in the unconscious mind, these parts of us long to be integrated and to be made conscious, and can resort to extreme measures to get our attention (such as suicidal depression, self-destructive behavior, and explosive rage).
What happens when one of our psychological ‘complexes’ emancipates itself and becomes a tyrannical usurper of consciousness?
The result is an increasing feeling of being alienated from ourselves, life, and the Divine. We may live with fear, guilt, and shame as a constant backdrop to our lives.
And usually, we feel numb and empty inside, and a sense of hopelessness that we try to smother with work, family life, friendships, gossip, and various addictions.
Soul Loss is Also Known as Dissociation
Soul Loss, in a sense, is another way of saying dissociation.
If you’re familiar with basic psychology, you’ll know that dissociating means disconnecting or detaching from something, in this case, ourselves.
This disconnection happens as a result of a traumatic situation or environment that we’re subjected to.
It’s a defense mechanism that prevents us from totally shutting down and being incapable of functioning.
Here’s a (tragically very common) scenario of how dissociation works:
Imagine that a young child is molested or abused. In order to cope with the horrendous experience, the child escapes by dissociating or detaching themselves, from the situation.
In the process of protecting themselves, the child creates various alter egos, or entirely different personalities within themselves, as a defense mechanism.
In psychology, this is treated as “multiple personality disorder” (now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder).
It’s easy to understand how tribal cultures would have perceived this as a loss of the Soul.
But essentially, psychological dissociation is nature’s way of protecting ourselves against intense trauma and loss by blocking these wounding situations out.
But Soul Loss, or dissociation, is not limited to these extreme cases and can be found in different degrees in most people.
Addictions, eating and identity disorders, post-traumatic stress, depression, codependency, narcissism, low self-esteem, and adjustment disorders are all common causes for (and symptoms of) Soul Loss in our superficial, fast-paced, materialistic modern societies that are mostly devoid of all sense of sacredness.
A young woman who dreams of being an artist but has to live up to her parent’s expectations of being a doctor will lose a little bit of her Soul, ignoring an essential part of her being.
Or suppose the young woman does go ahead and follows her dream of being an artist, but deep down, she still depends on her parent’s approval. She then either blames them to avoid taking responsibility for pursuing her passion, or she develops depression because she is not accepted by them.
This story might sound familiar to you.
Fortunately, there are many ways of rediscovering wholeness again. Most of the material Aletheia and I write for lonerwolf is a form of Soul Retrieval, where we help you to become aware of aspects within yourself that may be buried or lost.
We do this by encouraging the development of authenticity, self-exploration, self-love, and self-transformation. I’ll explore some common Soul Retrieval practices a little later.
But first, are you experiencing Soul Loss?
21 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Soul Loss
There are a variety of physical, psychological, and spiritual symptoms of Soul Loss.
When we experience Soul Loss – that is, parts of our Soul ‘hiding away’ or dissociating from us – the result is a loss in Soulful energy or the very vitality of our lives.
This loss of energy prevents us from living a healthy, fulfilling, and creative existence. Sometimes, Soul Loss can last for a whole lifetime, resulting in the development of a self-destructive person who we often refer to as a “Lost Soul” in our language.
To recover these lost parts of ourselves, and to become balanced, whole, and centered once again, we must first identify the symptoms of Soul Loss within us.
Below, you will find some of the most common symptoms of this core issue:
- Memories and parts of your life have been blocked out.
- You experience strong periods of depression.
- Parts within yourself feel missing or broken.
- You experience a general emotional numbness to life.
- Constant feelings of fear or anxiety plague you.
- You go through long periods of insomnia.
- You feel lost or incomplete.
- You feel like a ‘different person’ after a shocking or traumatic life event.
- You feel stuck or incapable of overcoming a certain issue in your life.
- You feel disappointed with life.
- You feel as though there are multiple ‘selves’ within you.
- You try to escape by turning to alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or excessive busyness.
- You feel unworthy of being loved.
- You are experiencing a dark night of the soul and/or spiritual emergency.
- You want to find your purpose and meaning in life.
- You feel like your daily life is meaningless and task-driven.
- You avoid feeling vulnerable and keep others at a distance.
- You long for wholeness and a sense of belonging.
- You sometimes feel that you’re not in control of yourself.
- You constantly feel mentally or physically fatigued for no medical reason.
- You thirst for authenticity and complete acceptance of yourself.
How many can you relate to? You’re welcome to share in the comments below.
Soul Loss & the Spiritual Awakening Journey
What happens after we experience Soul Loss? The answer is that usually, we go through an internal crisis (or Dark Night of the Soul) that leads to a deep spiritual awakening.
In fact, Soul Loss is typically what triggers an initiation into the mysteries of the inner world in the first place – it’s at the core of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.
Eventually, we get to a point where we just can’t continue living with a sense of existential emptiness and desolation any longer.
A thirst is then born deep inside of us to find our true destiny, place in the world, and meaningful connection with the Divine. Such is the beginning of our spiritual journey – the call to return Home.
How to Reconnect With Your Soul
For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?
– Jesus of Nazareth
Inner work or Soul Retrieval (ensoulment) practices are the best way to reconnect with your Soul.
This is because they take you on an internal adventure and channel your energy toward your deepest buried feelings, thoughts, and dreams, all of which carry vital parts of you.
There are a multitude of inner work practices out there. Some of those particularly suited to Soul Retrieval may include:
- Inner child work
- Shadow work
- Art therapy
- Dream work
- Mirror work
- Archetype work (also includes Internal Family Systems Therapy)
- Plant medicine journeying (undertake this with an experienced guide)
- Meditation and mindfulness exercises
- Visualization
- Keeping a journal
- Singing and chanting
- Nature immersion and ecotherapy
- Movement therapy (yoga, dancing, etc.)
- Our Shadow & Light Membership for ongoing support
Choose a few areas you’re interested in and stick with them for a period of a year or more.
(However, ultimately, use your own judgment – and if you feel overwhelmed by any, stop immediately.)
This work takes dedication and sincerity, so go at a slow and steady pace. One day, you will look back on the moment you read this article and realize how far you’ve come!
Soul Loss Q&A
Here are the answers to some commonly asked questions:
Q: Is Soul Loss about losing your Soul – can I lose my Soul?
A: Soul Loss is about losing touch with your Soul. You cannot totally lose your Soul; it is always there in the background of your life, albeit, often times inaccessible due to the trauma you may have experienced. Many people misunderstand the term Soul Loss and believe that it means literally meaning losing your Soul. But instead, it’s about losing access to the vital core of you.
Q: How do you know if your Soul is gone?
A: Again, the Soul never ‘goes’ away, it just becomes hard to reach, hard to reconnect with. Common signs that you’ve experienced Soul Loss include anxiety, depression, emotional numbness, loneliness, emptiness, chronic fatigue, feelings of hopelessness, boredom, and profound dissatisfaction with life.
Q: Can Soul retrieval only be done with a shaman?
A: Although ‘Soul Retrieval’ is a shamanic term, it doesn’t need to be performed exclusively by a shaman. Psychotherapists, bodyworkers, and highly experienced trauma-informed spiritual healers can also provide Soul Retrieval help. Try to find someone reputable when it comes to Soul Retrieval, and most of all, trust your instincts. This is a sacred journey and requires guidance from a person who genuinely respects you and the process.
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To be healthy, to feel whole, and to live a harmonious life, you must recover the vital lost parts of yourself by learning to live a life of balance, authenticity, and self-love.
Finding the fragments of yourself that are lost, restoring, and integrating them is to return to your innate wholeness – it is to restore the essential vitality that is your Soul, which is the essence of the journey of spiritual awakening.
To learn to slowly reintegrate the lost elements of your Soul through the practice of inner work (or Soul Retrieval) is to fulfill your potential as a divine being having a human experience.
If you would like to learn what to explore next after healing from Soul Loss, see our guide on Soul Work as a path to embodying divine love.
What has your experience been like with Soul Loss? I’d love to hear your story below.
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I’m 45 yo. I had a highly traumatic childhood that I’ve carried with me as an adult. Unfortunately my child has also had a highly traumatic childhood. I’m just now waking up and realizing the life I’ve lived doesn’t have to continue on this path. My soul loss manifests as lists of things from the list in this article but the hardest to deal with are emptiness, feeling lost, feeling like there’s a higher purpose foe me but not knowing how to reach it, and feeling like I’ve made the wrong choice for a life partner that I desperately want to be free from but don’t know how. I’m ordering the Enlightened Empath book as a start and am so excited, for the first time ever, to where my found soul will take me.
I have a question about soul retrieval. How do I go about retrieving parts of my fragmented soul?
I’ve been dealing with a lot of health issues in recent years, issues that have required two surgeries and a round of gamma knife. Since my most recent surgery (July last year, had both adrenals removed) I haven’t been the same. I used to love doing so many things, like baking, cake decorating, sewing, knitting, but now all those things do nothing for me. I can’t find joy in anything, I barely sleep, I don’t eat properly, I’m suddenly snapping at people for no reason, in fact I can’t stand to have anyone near me and yet I’m so lonely it hurts. It’s like I have this terrible empty void inside me that I can’t fill but at the same time I feel as though I have an anvil sitting in my chest. I’m so confused right now I don’t even know who I am anymore and it hurts so much that I just want to die so that I can free of the pain. What’s wrong with me?
Thank you Sol. I see this as a very necessary concept for everyone to understand. it was well explained. I experienced complex trauma in my childhood. I would like to briefly identify, from the perspective I had, and have, some features I have witnessed in Soul Loss or Dissociation. Much of this specific realization, ie: I lived a life apart, and in a state of depersonalization all of my adult life, have occurred within the last 24 hrs. That is how I found myself here. I will be brief. When you speak of Soul Loss/Spirit Loss, or Dissociation, don’t, unless you at least have an inkling of the complexities involved. Once again, this is my take, not fact. I do not remember my childhood. I remember interacting with my mom once, but there are no other interactional memories. Other memories are like photographs (still shot) there are a handful of those. I have one from early, roughly between 2-3. The memory is not interactional, or perceived that way. I am screaming, but I am looking at my own face at that time. This is a recurrent memory, one of two. My point in mentioning this is, I believe Soul Loss… Read more »
When you’re young, you don’t know what experience will cost you and what It will do for Others.
On the Soul Loss Symptoms meter, I’d say I scored about a 14/21 :( I experienced my first soul loss when I was 9 years old. It has since stayed with me, but it doesn’t control me anymore. Took along time to understand and accept what happened, happened. Plus being an empath doesn’t help lol. I’m working on it, on me. Journaling mostly, but I want to do more.
I stumbled across this page the other night, and I’m glad I did.
I already felt that I was probably experiencing soul loss. I must say that when I saw memories and parts of life being blocked out I was stunned. I’m only 17 but I can’t remember the majority of my childhood, which happened to be filled with various forms of trauma. I could never figure out why I lacked memory of most of my life until now. I also resonate with almost all of the other symptoms. It kinda feels like something just clicked now. I know the why, so now I need to to figure out the how of achieving soul retrieval.
Almost all of these resonate with me. The pit of despair is real.
This is I feel the most balanced, well explained, simple to understand article I have ever read. I came across it today.
I have been sharing it. I grew tired of the system such a long time ago. It just wasn’t right for me. It actually traumatised me more than helped me and I had to do more healing, still do. Unfortunately if you are spiritual, then something is wrong with you and you need help. I was deeply betrayed by my mother when she came to me seeking help. Anyhow, thanks for writing this article. I have found it to be helpful. I do hope you are getting enough donations to keep going. As soon as I have money to spare, I will make a donation.
I can relate to every single sign of the whole 21. I can feel a connection being cutoff with my emotions. I still feel numb, yet, im a psychic empath. I’ve been through spiritual awakening, after passing dark night of the soul, yet, i feel like im no more my past self. It’s like am reborn from the ashes, more to the benefit of healing others than myself. I guess i found a way to cut myself off from materialistic world and link to spiritualism through this trauma.
Thanks for the amazing article!