The hardest thing about going through an existential crisis is that you often feel depressed and alienated.
Nothing makes sense anymore, and everything feels meaningless โ including all of your old accomplishments, desires, professional attachments, relationships, and goals.
You want to find your real purpose in life. You want to know why the f*ck weโre all here in the first place, but you donโt know where to start.
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If you can relate to these feelings, my heart goes out to you. Iโve been there before and itโs a dark place. Worst of all, it can sometimes last for years (like mine did).
As someone who has been through this, Iโm not here to bullshit you.
Iโm not promising that what I’ll share will help it all become magically better.
But I do hope you find a little bit of solace.
Table of contents
- What is an Existential Crisis? (Definition)
- 15 Signs Youโre Experiencing an Existential Crisis
- WHY Youโre Going Through an Existential Crisis
- Why More and More People Are Experiencing the Existential Crisis
- The Existential Crisis Can Be a Good Sign
- 9 Ways to Get Through the Existential Crisis ( and Actually Benefit From It )
- When the Existential Crisis Becomes Existential Despair
- This is a Time of Death and Rebirth
What is an Existential Crisis? (Definition)
Put simply, an existential crisis is a period in life where a person is at a crossroads and is questioning their entire reality.
They may wonder what the meaning of their life is and whether they have a higher purpose. They may wonder whether life itself has meaning or is just a random, chaotic product of chance.
As a result, they may suffer from tremendous anxiety, depression, isolation, and feelings of being lost. The existential crisis is often spiritual in nature and is sometimes a byproduct (or trigger of) the spiritual emergency.
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If you’re a spiritual wanderer seeking some kind of path, place, and purpose in life, you’re likely experiencing or have gone already through an existential crisis.
15 Signs Youโre Experiencing an Existential Crisis
Are you going through an existential crisis? Pay attention to the following signs:
- Youโre searching for the meaning of life
- You feel a growing sense of looming existential dread when contemplating society, the state of the planet, etc.
- You feel alone and isolated
- You often find yourself feeling consumed by melancholia/existential depression
- You feel like your โold lifeโ has withered away
- You donโt know who you are anymore
- You feel like your past accomplishments are meaningless (and as a result, you feel lots of regret)
- You see through the shallowness of societyโs goals and desires
- You crave something deep and meaningful
- You realize that the Universe is far more complex than you previously thought
- You feel a sense of smallness or powerlessness in the face of everything
- Youโre acutely aware of your mortality (and feel existential anxiety as a result)
- You feel fundamentally different from others
- You feel like thereโs something innately โwrongโ or โbrokenโ about you
- You feel empty inside
- You canโt seem to find any place that feels like โhomeโ
How many of the above signs can you relate to?
When I was going through an existential crisis my entire worldview shattered. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian background and could no longer come to terms with an โall-loving Godโ who would send people to burn in hell for eternity.
I went through years of confusion, emptiness, anxiety, and depression wondering what the purpose of all this was. It was an extremely difficult, traumatizing, and heart-breaking time. (And yes, thankfully I have pulled through it, hence why Iโm writing this article and for this website.)
But my story is only one of millions, and there are many reasons why you may be going through a crisis. Weโll explore below …
WHY Youโre Going Through an Existential Crisis
Why did all of this happen to you? Why are you experiencing an existential crisis?
There are a number of reasons. Here are the most common that you may have experienced:
- Sudden death of a loved one
- Job change or loss
- Chronic illness or a shock diagnosis
- Moving to a new place or country
- Chronic stress and anxiety
- Getting married/divorced
- Relationship breakdown
- Having a baby
- Entering a new life phase (e.g., adulthood, mid-life, old age)
- Loss of religious beliefs
- Natural disasters (flood, hurricane, fire)
- Excessive drug use
- Mystical experience
- Sudden spiritual awakening or dark night of the soul
- Prolonged isolation
Let me know in the comments which of these you think triggered your existential crisis.
As you can see, the existential crisis is caused by literally any big life event or change โ whether positive or negative.
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Anything sudden can be destabilizing to your mind. Think of it like an earthquake that sets off a domino effect within your psyche. Before you know it, you have cut off all your friends, quit your job, and have completely withdrawn from society because it all feels too much.
Again, I want to emphasize the fact that this wonโt last forever.
It might feel like it and you might believe, in your present frame of mind, that youโre the only person out there who is going through this. But youโre not.
There are people who understand what youโre going through (like myself and the community of readers on this blog). So please take solace in that and keep reading to get support.
Why More and More People Are Experiencing the Existential Crisis
Yes, you heard it right: the existential crisis is increasing in prevalence.
Itโs becoming a global phenomenon.
With record numbers of people experiencing major depression and other symptoms associated with the existential crisis, the question is WHY?
With all our technology, wealth, and material abundance, why are we feeling more and more empty inside?
There are many possible answers, but I believe that the main cause is emotional, philosophical, and spiritual in nature.
We live in a world that worships the reductionistic mechanistic scientific view of life. Anything mysterious, magical, or remotely spiritual in nature is scorned and looked down upon. We pretend weโre โabove all that childish nonsenseโ when, in reality, itโs what we need the most.
As clinical psychologist and scholar C. Michael Smith writes,
The world seen only through the lenses of scientific-calculative thinking is a thin, dry, hollow, surface world, devoid of mystery, depth, and meaning. There is an existential nausea (Sartre) that comes with such a nihilistic view of reality. Such a view is itself a symptom of deep spiritual, social, and ecological pathology. Some face this nihilism with stoic courage, others retreat into fundamentalistic and traditional forms of security, where they may have some limited contact with the sacred, while still being touched by the nihilism of the modern scientific worldview. Some seek a genuine sense of the sacred to give their lives meaning and direction, but cannot find it in the institutional religions of the west. Some turn to the numinous resources of the East, some to occult interests; some are now turning to shamanism, others the psychedelics, to rekindle a sense of mystery and meaning characteristic of the sacred.
As a society, we deal with our existential emptiness in many ways, but the unifying sobering reality is that we are spiritually destitute.
Weโve lost touch with our spiritual nature and are suffering horribly as a result โ this is known as collective Soul Loss.
Iโll explore how to get back in touch with your spiritual nature (and what worked for me) a little later.
But first, letโs explore why this is not all so doom and gloom โฆ
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The Existential Crisis Can Be a Good Sign
I know the title of this section sounds totally absurd. But the fact that youโre experiencing existential anxiety signifies that youโre not a mindless sheep of society.
You are alive goddammit, and more than that, youโre in touch with your spiritual nature.
As spiritual philosopher Krishnamurti once wrote:
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
The fact that youโre maladjusted, the fact that youโre questioning everything and feel a sense of despair means that youโre getting more in touch with your own truth โ not the version of truth that society likes to spoonfeed us.
As author Tim Farrington writes,
Doubt as to whether you are in a dark night or โjust depressedโ is probably a very good sign; it means youโre alive and paying attention and that life has you baffled, which is the precondition for truth in my experience.
Perhaps more than anyone, the Holocaust survivor and psychotherapist Viktor Frankl was acquainted with the depths of existential crisis. He writes in his wonderful book The Doctor of the Soul:
The โsymptomโ of conscientious anxiety in the melancholiac is not the product of melancholia as a physical illness but represents an โaccomplishmentโ of the human being as a spiritual person.
In other words, feeling existential anxiety is not just the result of depression (or melancholy), itโs actually an accomplishment that signifies weโre in touch with our spiritual nature.
Mirabai Starr, author of numerous spiritual books writes, โSomeone who is broken โฆ who has struggled all his or her life with some intense deficiency, may have a uniquely powerful relationship with God.โ
And itโs true.
The more you suffer existentially, the closer you are likely to draw to the Divine.
I realize you may be an atheist or simply not interested in spirituality, but perhaps itโs time to reconsider your relationship with the mysterious, at the very least. Weโll look more into this below.
9 Ways to Get Through the Existential Crisis (and Actually Benefit From It)
Again, I know โbenefitingโ from your existential crisis may sound ridiculous.
But hear me out.
The existential crisis is an opportunity for you to find your life purpose, figure out what truly matters in life, and connect with your spiritual nature.
What youโre going through may be horribly painful at times, but it also has a deeper meaning: youโre experiencing a death and rebirth.
Youโre undergoing a mental, emotional, and spiritual renewal process which is common to stage 1 of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.
Everything in life works in cycles. Think of life like the four seasons. What youโre experiencing right now is the winter stage of existence. But after that comes spring.
Here are some paths and practices you may like to explore. Many of these I have used myself during my existential crisis period โ and they helped tremendously:
1. Record (journal) all your thoughts every day
This one was a BIG help for me โ and I believe it can be for you too.
Writing down all your thoughts and feelings is a brilliant way of getting them out of your mind. The more you let your thoughts accumulate, the more overwhelmed you feel. So let them all out.
Journaling is extremely therapeutic and is constantly recommended by professionals and depressed folks alike. In my How to Journal article, I offer you some unique tips, just in case you need extra support.
Hereโs an example of an “existential crisis-styled” journal entry:
Iโm feeling horrible today. I watch and listen to people talk about their lives, but it all seems futile. I canโt relate to any of them. Not even a bit. All their plans, goals, and shallow desires โ canโt they see that itโs all going to perish one day? Their banality suffocates me and I feel like Iโm walking in the land of the dead. Everyone is asleep. Why canโt they just wake the fuck up? Maybe Iโll feel better tomorrow, but for now, I just wanted to get these feelings out. I know this is good for me to do and that these feelings won’t last forever.
As you can see, your journal entry doesnโt need to be long. It can be a tiny paragraph or even a few words. It also doesn’t need to be wordy, well-written, or poetic. The point is to benefit from it by making a habit out of it.
If you need some powerful and compassionate guidance to help you work through your existential crisis, see the Dark Night of the Soul Journal I’ve created.
2. Turn your pain into art
Some of the best art (think Vincent Van Gogh, Edvard Munch, Goya, etc.) has come from those who have suffered tremendously.
You donโt need to be good at art (or an โartistโ) to benefit from artistic self-expression. The point isnโt to create something that will please others but something that helps you feel better and process what youโre going through.
If you need ideas, go on Pinterest and look up different art projects, or go to your local art gallery. Places to start include watercolor, sketching, collage, and paint pouring. You can also read our article on art therapy ideas and see if it offers you some helpful places to start.
3. Get in touch with your inner warrior
Thereโs a reason why weโve named this website โlonerwolf.โ The wolf is symbolic of the inner spiritual warrior, the inner force of nature who refuses to give up.
S/he is the fire within you that voyages courageously into the unknown, fights for freedom, and respects your true self.
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When we go through an existential crisis, it can feel like all our power and energy has been drained from us. We may struggle to get up in the morning and keep moving forward. We may feel small and defenseless in the face of life.
The way to move through these feelings is to reconnect with your inner warrior in whatever way he/she/it appears to you. I like to see this fiery essence as an inner wolf, but you may see it differently.
To connect with your inner warrior, you may like to turn to your dreams. Before going to bed, ask your unconscious mind to present you with an image of your inner warrior. Then, pay attention to your dreams. Note down anything significant when first rising in the morning. My guide on dream work can help you through this process.
You may even like to take a herb like mugwort, blue lotus, or a lucid dreaming supplement to make your dreams more vivid (please do your own research regarding dosage requirements and look into the precautions).
An alternative is to practice visualization. Imagine youโre walking down a staircase and at the bottom is a golden door. Once you open that door, youโll come face-to-face with your inner warrior. What does he/she/it look like? You might like to play some music that puts you in the right frame of mind for this activity (think warrior music which you can find for free on Youtube).
Once youโve connected with your inner warrior, you can then work with this inner image in your daily life for strength and guidance.
You may like to journal with this inner force, talk with it through visualization, or create a piece of artwork that you put somewhere noticeable and special in your home.
4. Connect with nature
If you struggle to connect with others, go out in nature. Connect with the birds, trees, and plants. Sit and watch what happens around you and find delight in the small things.
Spending time in nature was one of the major ways I got through my existential crisis. I would often spend hours sitting outside observing how the clouds moved through the sky and the way the wind danced through the trees.
If you donโt live near nature, try taking regular trips to your local wildlife reserve, forest, or park. Nature is soothing to the soul and will help you to get out of your head. If youโre interested, I wrote this short and sweet article on the art of forest bathing (shinrin yoku) a few years ago.
5. Find what brings you joy and meaning
Even the smallest things can bring you joy like a patch of sunlight on the floor or the feeling of cold water against your hands as you wash the dishes.
By practicing mindfulness exercises, you can connect more with the present moment and step out of the cycles of dark thought that accompany the existential crisis.
Finding the meaning of life itself is a more complex path, but it’s something that can also bring you a sense of purpose and direction. I’ve written more on the topic of finding the meaning of life and youโre more than welcome to go check that out.
6. Practice self-care and self-love
Take care of yourself. This is a tough time. I know itโs hard, and I know that most days you donโt have the energy for much. But treat yourself with as much love and care as you can muster.
Even opening the window for some fresh air can be seen as a small act of self-love or putting on some warmer socks.
Two forms of self-love and care that you may like to start with are affirmations and gratitude. I know you may feel skeptical toward them, but thereโs a reason why theyโve entered the mainstream: they work.
You may like to start a gratitude journal and list five things youโre thankful for each day (being grateful, by the way, has been scientifically proven to help you feel better).
Before bed each night, I have a “gratitude stone” that I hold and I think of at least five things I’ve been grateful for during the day. This simple practice has done wonders for my mindset, and it’s so quick!
You might also enjoy finding or creating one or two affirmations that you carry with you and repeat throughout the day. Examples may include, โI have a resilient heart, and Iโll get through this,โ โItโs okay to not know all the answers,โ โI surrender to the cycles of life,โ and โThis too shall pass.โ My morning affirmations article can give you more ideas to work with.
7. Simplify and minimize sources of stress
Youโre going through enough inner stress as it is, so donโt be afraid to let go of people or responsibilities that cause you more harm than good.
One way of minimizing your stress is by creating a calm and clear mind. I love the philosophy of minimalism and essentialism for shaping a more intentional life, so look into those concepts more if you want to minimize sources of stress.
Also, try guided meditations that soothe your mind and body each morning and evening. I enjoy the free app โInsightTimerโ for all its variety and I use it on my phone each day. There are also many other meditation apps out there like Calm, Headspace, and Waking Up that you can look into.
8. Connect with others in a way that feels comfortable to you
See if there are any depression support groups around you. Not everyone experiencing depression is going through an existential crisis, but some are. And you can find a sense of kinship there.
Otherwise, there are many groups online (such as Facebook groups) that you can join for support. Alternatively, simply browse around this website and see that youโre not alone in your existential difficulties.
You may also wish to call a mental health hotline if you desperately need to talk with someone or go to a website like 7cups that offers free support (it can be a “hit or miss” experience, but worth exploring).
9. Explore a spiritual path or practice that you resonate with
As psychologist Christa Mackinnon writes:
Studies find correlations between spiritual well-being and positive psychological responses when people are confronted with existential crisis situations. A recent study of 60 lung cancer patients in America, for instance, found that aspects of spirituality, namely meaning in life and prayer, have positive effects on psychological and physical responses, and an in-depth study of 160 terminally ill patients in palliative care came to the conclusion that spiritual well-being provides a sense of peace and offers some protection against end-of-life despair in those for whom death is imminent.
You donโt need to buy into anyoneโs bullshit โ find what type of spirituality works for you.
That might be simply praying or lighting a candle, or it could mean learning how to be a spiritual healer and finding a greater sense of purpose.
I personally enjoy the path of inner work, and I incorporate many eclectic practices into my spiritual path like working with the archetypes, reflecting on oracle and tarot cards, connecting with spirit guides, practicing meditation and mindfulness, connecting with nature โฆ the list goes on.
Find a path that works for you and let it give you hope.
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Recommended read: Soul Searching: 7 Ways to Uncover Your True Path ยป
When the Existential Crisis Becomes Existential Despair
If youโre experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming others, your existential crisis has become existential despair. You need to seek help immediately.
I am not qualified to help (and I can only give general advice), so I strongly encourage you to seek out a psychologist, therapist, or counselor who can provide you with ongoing 1:1 help.
I know this may feel scary and you might feel ridiculous, but itโs worth getting help. Please do it. Yes, you might be given medication, but thatโs a stepping stone toward greater holistic health and healing in the future.
For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
This is a Time of Death and Rebirth
The existential crisis is a time of death โ the death of old beliefs, old ways of being, and old values.
But after death comes rebirth. Just look at the cycles of nature. What youโre experiencing isnโt going to last forever. After the night comes day and after winter comes spring.
I hope this article has shown you how valuable this process youโre going through actually is. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not alone.
You are actually saner than most people because you are questioning the insanity of the world around you.
You are a spiritual wanderer in the process of getting in touch with your True Nature.
Tell me, are you going through an existential crisis right now? How does it feel for you? Please share below. Letโs help others not feel so alone.
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Hay i agree i am in a ( iam lost ) this type of time .
I am gay and i do love ,but to me the gay scne as portrayed is only about Sex and Power , abuse ( big time in the gay world) and use ( payboys, gayprostitition ).
So i do not fit as i believe in just love and not waving all day this flag ( forcing)
my big thing what got me in this time of existential crisis is . i met my samesoulperson ( twinflame is wrong wording) it was if we where home even the sex was not the main thing just being …..as one in a way ( very strange experience but nice) , he had the idea we did not fit so i had to let it be ( my feelings where hy ) never said no but just as friends thats wierd even as normal x love …..( as it wil hurt in a way both one knows the other does not ).
i live far away from my own family and have lost even friends here where i live …..feeling i am ok as i am a very strong and even handsome man but i have no gay friends ( as only they want sex ) only few couples and one close friend all hetro and yes i am Gay but just like anyone else ( as it should be ) .so yes i feel alone and slowly even lonely in a way . So i have to make up my mind and hope the universe will show how and what …..i get singularities all the time so i am on the right way but and thats my biggest qeustion Why even my samesoul is away ( in physical form) and why i am still alone ( 10 years no friend ) ???? i am a happy man and i can show and talk about when not happy and i forgive people and still love who left me ,, so why ??????
studying sprituality spycholgy and whats the daily life ….trying to get art inspiration but still nothing ???? only because i love ….indeed planet earth whats wrong .
xxx but but LOVE WILL WIN ….
I think chronic stress and anxiety, never having developed effective coping skills and living my life just trying to keep my nose above water. Never having had support and doing everything on my own, one might think that I am capable but I have barely scraped by. Feeling miserable beyond this happy face mask. Been used up and stomped down, I only want to be left alone. I cannot bare to observe the ills of humanity yet I see the good in everyone as well.
Kim, I could so deeply relate to everything in your post!! I do know it does make a huge difference when you have been taught or developed healthy coping skills but unfortunately growing up in an alcoholic family myself that didn’t happen. Never having had support and doing everything on my own, one might think that I am capable but I have barely scraped by sounds again like me. We will get through this.
. I am in a bad and lonely place and feel extremely sorry for myself. Ive started you free course yesterday and rather pessimistically read the words, hoping to find just something to ease the pain. So, today, I took advise from the first lesson to find a quiet place in nature to sit and medita (meditation is totally foreign to me) and guess what? I felt a little better after. The feeling soon dissapeared though after getting back to business. But there is merit in getting quiet time to clear the mind.
I will continue with this course because for me, this guidance may just get me out of my mysery
My crisis began oct 9 2019 I lost my brother and I have really been having a hard time with life and itโs meaning I have no motivation ambition or drive like I once had I find myself drifting off daily in my own thoughts feel like Iโm watching myself from outside my body waisting away Iโm not sure how I found this website but here I am I want to get back to the old me and if not learn to come to accept the new life and person I will become
My crisis began when I turned 44 this year. I have been grieving the loss of my youth and my disdain for getting older. I was raised by my grandparents and watched first hand what happens when people grow older. Then I started thinking about how temporary everything in the universe is. I am what I like to call a spiritual scientist. I look at through a scientific lens before a spiritual one. Knowing our world will be destroyed one day, our sun will die, civilizations grow and collapse, and societies come and go make me feel like thereโs no point to life at all. In a hundred years no one will remember me. I will be forgotten not long after I die. Yes I have three adult children to genetically pass on my genes but to me that isnโt a legacy. With everything in life being so temporary whatโs the point of living. Right now Iโm just trying to find some meaning and purpose to my life.
I think it was the “Dark Night of The Soul” and/or prolonged isolation that caused this. I feel as though I’ll never feel better and will never feel the same joy ad motivation I once had.
A lot of my fantasies were based upon the possible reactions of others (Even if they were purely fictional), but this crisis has almost entirely stripped away my wish to indulge in those same impractical fantasies that I once enjoyed.
Realizing my mortality has caused me to focus only on my own personal experiences, which for someone with an empath mind and who finds wonder in the experiences and perspectives of others, it feels lonely to only be able to focus on my own thoughts and experiences (especially when I already know and understand myself in full (which may be partly to blame for why it’s so hard to get out of this mindset; I have a hard time truly convincing myself of more pleasant alternatives)).
I desperately want to get through this, but I fear I will be stuck with this dread until I die (I fear the same even if there really is some sort of afterlife; I feel I need separate entities to project upon in some way to fully feel satisfied and whole.
I’m not sure what set it off. But I have been going through it for years. I kept getting depressed and “just wanted to go home” But I was home, what the f___! Recently I had a dream that I visited my spirit guide. All he did was hug me. I have NEVER felt so loved and at peace, I don’t have the words to explain it. I left him quickly because I knew if I stayed I would never want to let go. It wasn’t my time. Darn it.
Despair?! Isnt it all just distraction? Nature is still kill and feed or be food. Playing guitar has become empty math… Pick and finger timing. Therapy and big pharma… Chemically induced distraction; life extension for living longer’s sake?
From pastor to Awakened Shaman I resonate with this in a big way. I asked the Universe to speak through my wife and have her tell me that I am destined for Shamanic work. Its been about 3 months since I prayed this prayer and just the other day she mentioned it to me. Out of the blue she said I think you are a Shaman. I didn’t realize I even asked the Universe to reveal this through my wife until I started reflecting on it and it hit me. Ohhh my God I remember telling the Universe to reveal this to her. My path is one wrought with drug and alcohol addiction, hepatitis c, dying from a head injury one of 3 traumatic head injuries, many mental hospitals and handfuls of medications in which I am free of medications now. I started studying the bible and decided after about 3 years of dedicated study my wife and I decided to start a ministry and church after being pulled from countless churches because of not feeling the truth in any of them including our own. Not realizing it was the bible we were finding the errors in. We were broken hearted. It tore my heart to pieces because I felt like it was me that was wrong in my learning not realizing I was not meant to be a biblical pastor I was meant to be a Shamanic healer. And so the new journey begins of our path. My wife is also a healer and amazing artist, well known in the flame bead glass world. Thank you for allowing me to share just a tiny bit of my experience!
Dear Luna and Sol,
The biggest reason that has triggered my existential crises was having a baby. A few days after giving birth I started to feel depressed and insecure. I ignored it, because everyone around me said that it was normal to feel like that. When I finally got the help I needed, my hips started hurting. Eventually to a point where I couldnโt walk. All the (physical) doctors said that it had to be โin my headโ because there was nothing to see on x-rays.
Years of pain and medication past untill I tot another depression after my divorce. I went to a therapist who introduced me to meditation. I started to notice during bodyscan practice, that I would start to feel sad and started to cry when I was giving attention to my hip area.
I searched for information on the internet and now iโm pain and medication free!
I too have been raised with the christian religion. You write that you have questioned why God who is an โAll-loving Godโ would let people burn in hell.. When I read this I cried, it is the exact same question Iโve been asking for as long as I can remember. Not one of the many pastors I asked could answer me and it gave me the feeling that there was something wrong with me, because I couldnโt understand.
I still experience feelings of loneliness and anxiety. The various articles on your website are very recognizable and they help me see past this episode in my life. They give me hope for the future and I am so very thankful for that. You are truly doing Divine work. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.
I send you love and wisdom to continu your work,
from Holland, Europe,
Anneke.
Thank you so much for this heartfelt and vulnerable message, Anneke. Your courage and hope are inspiring! The hip area stores a lot of grief and pain (in my experience). Whenever I massage that part I tend to get bursts of sadness flooding through me as well. I’m curious as to whether you’ve read my previous article on the meaning of muscle tension? If you haven’t read it yet, I think you’ll enjoy it. <3 It's astonishing what our bodies carry.
With much love and gratitude for your kind words of support,
Luna