Thin-skinned, hyper-sensitive, wimpy, spineless, wussy, feeble, weak, fragile, melodramatic, temperamental …
If you can relate to, or have been called a combination of any of these words, chances are you’re part of a unique group of people: the Empaths.
Occurring in an estimated 5% of the population, Empaths are known for their highly developed ability to sense the emotions and thoughts of the people around them. As author and Empath Christel Broederlow put it “empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels”, this includes the abilities to intimately understand what a person desires, yearns for, and is currently feeling, suffering or thinking, as well as the ability to feel other people’s bodily illnesses. These occurances manifest themselves as energy vibrations that the finely tuned Empath can pick up on, or “tune into”.
Commonly identifying as clairsentients and HSPs, Empaths possess an ability that is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the Empath is an excellent listener and counselor, knowing the best way to comfort and assist those around them. On the other, being an Empath can be painful and tiring. It’s common for the Empath to be weighed down and constantly congested with the negative emotional energy of others, often creating physical and psychological disharmony.
Although the Empath has a wonderful gift, and is often greatly cherished by those around them, they are often challenged and confronted by a variety of misguided perceptions towards their innate gift.
Myths & Misunderstandings
“You need to grow some thicker skin! Stop being so overly sensitive.” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard that in my childhood! Growing up as an Empath, you may have experienced similar insults from your parents, friends or peers, and perhaps even worse.
It’s not at all trendy or popular to be sensitive or feeling in our society that values efficiency, cold calculation, and industrial resilience. Therefore, you may have experienced and still experience, a lot of antagonism towards your behavior as an Empath. I will explore four of these main misperceptions below.
Myth #1 – Empaths are navel-gazing and self-absorbed.
Truth – We often focus more on others than on ourselves.
It’s true that Empaths are often unexplainably moody and quiet on the outside. However, this isn’t because they’re excessively absorbed thinking too much about themselves and their feelings. Rather, the Empath is often deeply affected by the exterior emotions of others that he experiences as his own. The Empath’s ability to intuitively feel the feelings of others is what weighs him down so much. In fact, it’s characteristic of the Empath to pay more attention to others needs than his own.
Myth #2 – Empaths are mentally ill.
Truth – We are magnets of negative energy. This often creates psychological disbalance within us.
Empaths are excellent listeners, confidants, and counselors. For this reason, it’s common for people to be drawn towards their sincere and caring natures, almost like magnets. Therefore, Empaths often experience a lot of “emotional baggage dumping” from other people, and have difficult releasing themselves from the negative energy that remains in their minds and bodies afterwards.
Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of lingering depressive emotions that the Empath is left with. Thus, the Empath can appear to be mentally ill and depressed, and in some cases legitimately is. However, in most cases the Empath is congested with remnants of harmful emotional energy, like sinuses are congested with mucus during a flu virus.
The root of the problem doesn’t lie with the Empath, it’s a result of their outer emotional climate.
Myth #3 – Empaths are psychologically frail.
Truth – We are biologically programmed to be more sensitive and in tune with our surrounding environment.
As Empath Nicole Lawler wrote, Empaths are essentially “walking around in this world with all the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others”. Understandably, this results in a lot of inner emotional tension for the Empath who is more prone to crying and exhibiting other signs of “weakness”.
Additionally, the Empath finds it extremely difficult to partake in many “normal” activities. For instance, watching a movie about Nazi concentration camps is extremely emotionally upsetting for the Empath, and getting a job in an office is overwhelming and tiring for the Empath who is bombarded with other people’s emotions constantly. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the Empath is often perceived as “wussy”, “frail” or “weak minded” to the person who fails to comprehend the constant pressure the Empath lives under.
The fact that most Empaths aren’t driven clinically insane by the constant emotional flux they experience is testimony enough to their mental strength.
Myth #4 – Empaths are lazy.
Truth – We often lack mental, emotional and physical energy due to our intense empathetic ability to understand others.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) amongst other physical issues like headaches, insomnia and Fibromyalgia, have all been commonly attributed to Empaths.
If our minds are constantly overloaded with stress, tension and pressure, it therefore translates that our bodies are as well. This often results in sicknesses such as the ones mentioned above. Thus Empaths often lack the energy and therefore desire to do many things, preferring to relax (including taking naps) instead.
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If you’ve experienced any of these misperceptions in your life, please feel free to share your experiences below. Also, feel free to take our Empath Test or read our empath book to get more in-depth guidance. Being an Empath can certainly be riddled with setbacks, however, it’s invaluable to remember how much of an asset you are to the world. Our planet needs a balance of both hard and industrious people, and soft and empathetic people. You form an important part in this great Universal Balance.
If you would you some more free resources, check out our extensive collection of empath articles!
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Hello there. I too am an empath (I scored a 93/100) and it’s slowly becoming unbearable. I find it very difficult to go out as it is very draining for me. The most I can be out an about is 2 hours before I really begin to feel the repercussions. I always feel in need of a nap but I never get there because of all the thoughts and emotions floating inside me. I regularly suffer from migraines, lower back pain and just generalized aches and pains. I’ve basically learned to live with all that. What I have most trouble accepting is that despite all the people I care about and help out it is those very people who least understand or make an attempt at understanding me. I feel like a stepping stone on to better things or better people. I listen to but am not listened to, I love and am not loved at least not the way I want or need it, I serve as company yet never have any. A lot like a gas station basically, people come, fill up and go. I’m just tired. Sorry needed to vent. Idk it just seems funny to me… Read more »
I really appreciate the article and find it very enlightening…..its nice to know there is a name for us……hi……my name is Jay and im an empath……and very much would like to share my experience……ever since i was a child i always felt like an outsider………from the way i looked, to the way i thought…… i was alway described as a happy boy…………but growing up was hard as the child of a very abusive home at times felt like hell ………only difference was i went to church on on sundays……….i still remember the first time i realized or felt i was different,….an empath …. my mother who began seeing my (now stepfather) was very abusive towards her as well as me and i hated him deeply…………. he soon after had asked her to marry him ……….and she left the decision up to me, “should i marry him son?” with tears streaming down her face……..at that moment in time i realized, ……thats not what she was asking me…….i told her, “if it makes you happy momma”…………..i was 10 years old………my path then darkens as i opted towards a more destructive route, becoming more cold, calculative, and ruthless about my judgements and observation… Read more »
So I have a question. My GF says that she’s an empath. She said that my soft energy is causing her to make the wrong decisions and that she needs to break up with me to get to where she wants to go in life as a hunter. Is this a common scenerio?
She turned down a job offer to wait for another and blames my energy level for her decision making.
I got 86% on the empath test and I am not sure if I am an empath. I feel emotions when I am around certain people. I always go to my mom to talk to her about life in general and she doesn’t know what to tell me most of the time. I talk to her about clairsentience or “having psychic abilities” and she just says she doesn’t know anything about that. I feel like there are spirits around me trying to connect to me somehow and i can almost reach out and grab them but i can’t. It’s very emotionally draining for me to think someone is standing in front of me staring at me but I can’t see or hear or talk to them. I have had loved one pass and I am clinically depressed and have severe anxiety or just ’emotional baggage’ And I feel since I am so depressed they know and want to help or let me know everything’s ok. but i can’t tell because I can’t hear them or see them. Sometimes I get the weirdest dreams about the weirdest things. I don’t know what any of it means. I am an avid dreamer,… Read more »
Is there a way i can be more open to these things, i feel in a lot of ways I’m mentally blocked. The only way i feel I’m truly an empath is when people tell me how they feel, I absorb those feelings and will feel that way 100% like a hypocondriac but the emotions have to be said. I don’t as easily pick up on others emotions if they don’t directly tell me how they feel. i feel deeply connected to animals too. and can totally relate to the tired draining feeling. I recently worked at summer camp and had kind of psychic moments which were stronger their and i attribute it to being outdoors and away from technology. and i get deja vu all the time but its so fast and i can’t grasp on to it and lately i have “dream deja vu” which i kind of made up the word but its where i remember snip-its of dreams that I’ve had in the past. maybe none of this means anything but i feel like someones trying to tell me something or I’m supposed to know something and i can’t understand or put the pieces together. it… Read more »
I got 84% on this test and scored high on others. I never had a word for what I am , always drawn to different causes, try to help… then comes the burn out . I want to do something good for the world AND me now. I cant go on like this. I also did read a bit about the pineal gland but
I have a complex cystic mass on my pineal gland. Will that screw things up for me and make it worse?
My entire life has been like this. Growing up we were discouraged to show emotion. I believe due to this and my parents misunderstanding of me caused me to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, and anything else that would make me numb. Being clean has brought everything out and I had a therapist who understood and truly believed not just in science but also beyond science. I loved talking with him. This new one……….not so open minded and I find myself worrying about what to say and it defeats the whole purpose. Time to sit at the ocean.
For years iv always avoided an never liked the idea of settling for a close contact job an always had other excuses as to why but this sums up alot for me in that area. Also pick up on my surrounding peers etc. Have learnt not to confront or address (with even the sympatheticist approach) sumone on what im unintentionally picking up off them cos they never ever come clean. It painful in a way bcos i hav a yearn to help but wen sumone is in denial its very sad. Anyway a big ups to this read it was awesome i love it
I took the test and scored a 98% which I guess didn’t surprise me. I have felt as though I could read people since I was a child. As many have said, my family and friends thought I was weird and out of touch. This ability has caused me great pain and sorrow as well as wonderful happiness. It seems it is a double edged sword if you will. I’ve seemed to have breakdowns and times of healing. I tried suicide a couple of times and then asked why, why I wanted to die when I didn’t know what it was to live. Then I surrendered to what I had always know was there but, fear kept me from. This was in my mid twenties, I experienced a profound spiritual awaking. I walked in both realities at the same time. I was given knowledge and wisdom beyond comprehension at times only to contemplate and absorb what I was given. It was as if I had an eighteen month out of body experience that culminated in a final scene of oneness that all things were revealed. I was told to write it down but never did it seemed unimaginable to put… Read more »
This is really true. Thanks for this site. I already know that I’m an empath. (72%-I took the test here)
I was even called weird by one of my family members because of some manifestations that make me different from them.
Now I know why I find cruelty and violence from movies very unbearable that’s why I avoid those kind of movies. I’m an animal lover too~~ I even cried when one of our dogs died. Even in tragic movies I weep and more on in the real life situations. I don’t know whether if it’s a weakness of mine but I have my own a strategies in coping it.
All I know is that my strength of being an empath is that I know how to understand other people. Now, I’m starting to accept myself. I hope others will too. Thank you again. =)