Christmas time. It’s noisy, materialistic, and socially overwhelming.
Most people plan for it, spend for it, live for it, and dread it all at the same time each year.
In our society, the Christmas ideal is to sit around a heavily bedazzled tree or heftily set dinner table with every member of our family and friendship circles.
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But the truth is, many of us don’t meet or fulfill that ideal.
Many of us wind up feeling lonely, isolated, and disillusioned because of our lack of close friendships or family members. And so we spend Christmas alone.
For those of us who have undergone some kind of spiritual awakening or existential crisis, Christmas time can be particularly painful. And that’s what I plan to cover in this article.
Table of contents
Christmas and Spiritual Awakening
Among many of the reasons why we may spend Christmas alone, undergoing a spiritual awakening is one of the top causes.
When we experience a spiritual awakening (and due to the state of the planet, an increasing number of people are), we tend to feel overwhelmed by everything. We begin to question our life choices, what our meaning of life is, and see life in a different light.
This process of life turning on its head tends to make Christmas a particularly difficult and even traumatic time.
We might ask questions such as:
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- Why do I need to meet up with people I rarely see during the year for a celebration that is old and outdated?
- What’s the point of pretending that I “like” or “want to spend time with” family members who are toxic?
- I’m not Christian or I don’t believe in the origins of Christmas – why should I then celebrate it?
- How do I stop feeling so depressed and anxious during this time of year?
- Do I even want to celebrate Christmas in the first place?
As a result of the internal process of spiritual transformation occurring, our priorities become clearer and deeper concerns rise to the surface – Christmas becomes a time of dread and depression.
Not only that, but we may not wish to adhere to the same consumerism that is destroying the planet and our souls. Saying no, being true to ourselves, and listening to our integrity becomes anxiety-provoking as we don’t want to go against the status quo in our family of origin. And yet, a part of us craves to break free and live according to our own values. A painful split emerges within us.
Furthermore, society tells us that to be alone (or to spend time Christmas alone) is tragedy that makes us sad and pitiful human beings. Sure, this might not be blatantly taught to us, but it’s an unspoken, subliminal message that we absorb. And it’s utter nonsense.
The Joy of Spending Christmas Alone
Before I get into the joy of spending Christmas alone, let’s explore why we fear aloneness.
First off, being alone is not the same as being lonely. The two are totally different experiences.
To set the record straight: being alone is something we enjoy or choose. Being lonely is something we fear and avoid.
So why the fear of spending Christmas alone?
I believe we fear spending Christmas alone, not just because of the social conditioning that we shouldn’t, but also because very few people know how to be alone anymore.
Why?
Well, when we’re alone, we have to face ourselves, our thoughts, and the irrepressible truth that we are alone, at an ego level. This fear of facing the hard truths of life causes us to fear being alone, and in the process, forget the delights of solitude.
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In our society, it is heretical not only to be alone but heretical to find contentment and fulfillment by ourselves, in ourselves as well.
As writer and solitude-lover Lionel Fisher comments in his book Celebrating Time Alone,
… we’ve been conditioned to press on mindlessly, be part of the norm.
And that norm is to stuff our inner void as full of stimulation and noise as possible.
The fact is that we need to relearn how to be alone. If we ever desire true inner peace, self-knowledge, and happiness – the kind that can only be discovered in solitude – we need to relearn how to be alone. We need to make peace with our aloneness. We need to embrace the power of solitude.
Fortunately, the holiday season is the perfect time to celebrate time alone with yourself. It’s fundamentally an act of self-care. It may be odd and out of the ordinary, but to live up to the standards of a sick, deeply flawed society is misguided.
Below you’ll find a list of just over 50 quirky, challenging, and enjoyable ideas to help you savor Christmas alone (if you choose to).
51 Things to Do Alone on Christmas
Note:
This list was originally written in 2012. While some of the ideas below cater to the playful, silly inner child side within us, others cater to our more serious, adult, and practical inner dimensions. I’m sure you’ll find at least one idea that appeals to you below.
1. Listen to what your inner child needs most from you right now. This inner child test can help.
2. Meditate on the sounds of nature outside.
3. Take a road trip to a place you’ve never been before.
4. Do some therapeutic art to release any tension within you.
5. Compose your own Christmas carol or listen to a new musician/artist you’ve never heard of before.
6. Go for a long walk somewhere you’ve never been.
7. Give yourself the gift of silence. Block out all noises and distractions and do what matters to you the most.
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8. Look for the loneliest looking person in town and send them positive energy.
9. Sing your favorite songs loudly in your house and notice how liberated you feel.
10. Sit outside and appreciate nature while drinking calming and mood-boosting teas like passionflower, lavender, or chamomile.
11. Be your own best friend for the entire day. Say kind words to yourself and practice self-love.
12. Consider what skill you’d like to learn in the coming year, and take one step towards making that goal a reality.
13. Get crafty and use old art supplies to create something weird and wild.
14. Do a grounding healing meditation.
15. Pull a tarot or oracle card and do some deep self-reflection.
16. Read the comments below this article, respond to someone, and let them know they’re not alone (spread the good karma!)
17. Spend time outdoors (depending on where you live) and do some gardening.
18. Read a book that will expand your mind, such as The Spiritual Awakening Process or Old Souls (shameless plug for our books, I know, but worth it!)
19. Do a good deed for someone in person or online that will make you feel happy.
20. Spend Christmas researching new hobbies and interests to broaden your mind and world.
21. Do a letting go ritual to release old habits that no longer serve you.
21. Make your own Christmas decorations by hand, and cover your house in them.
22. Build a spiritual altar and fill it with images and found objects that make you feel spiritually connected.
23. Come up with a list of 20 reasons why you shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. What would a rebellious freethinker say about Christmas?
24. Bake yourself something delicious and enjoy mindfully eating it alone in peace.
25. Go to your local park and soak in the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas day. Feel the happy vibes. Connect with nature.
26. Declutter your surroundings to create more inner space and peacefulness.
27. Have a movie marathon, rewatching movies that were paradigm-shifting to you.
28. Spend quality time with your fur baby if you have one. Alternatively, watch videos of cute animals online to boost your brain’s happy chemicals.
29. Look for local free events that you may find listed online (on places like Facebook) and attend them if you’re feeling social.
30. Read some of our many articles or take some tests on this website. Increase your self-knowledge! Our home page is a great place to start.
31. Open a map of your town, close your eyes, and point to a place on the map. Drive or walk there, and see what you find.
32. Connect with your spirit animal and see what it has to share with you.
33. Light a candle for all the souls who are spending Christmas alone like you, and send up a prayer to whoever or whatever you believe in to offer them comfort. Notice how you feel afterward.
34. Collect items that represent your feelings and thoughts about Christmas Day. Put them in a time capsule box and bury them in your backyard.
35. Research the deeper symbolic significance of Christmas.
36. Learn the art of automatic writing and discover what your deeper Self wants you to know.
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$337. Think about what you loved to do as a kid that you don’t do anymore, and do it, e.g., if it was taking bubble baths, take a bubble bath!
38. Make your day more humorous. Watch a comedy, laugh at people and yourself, and look for reasons why the things you take seriously are comedic.
39. Sit and observe people on Christmas day and write a short story about them.
40. Think of every reason why you enjoy being alone for the entire day.
41. Reassess your daily routine and find three alternative ways to do what you normally do. Put them in practice.
42. Be actively lazy and catch up on as much sleep as you can.
43. Spend the day opening, cleansing, and balancing the chakras within your body. This chakra test can help you get started.
44. Find a way of helping others; for instance, offer your hand in a soup kitchen, volunteer to visit the elderly, or do anything that supports others’ well-being.
45. Use the day to achieve something important. For example, write a whole blog post, get to level 22 on your game, solve 50 riddles, etc.
46. Spend the day painting or drawing your impression of Christmas Day.
47. Be eccentric. Weird out the people in your neighborhood by hanging bizarre things off a tree outside your house.
48. Nurture yourself for the whole day. Give yourself hugs, write yourself a poem, and compose a list of everything you love about yourself.
49. Do five things that are silly or ridiculous to you, and see if you get any life epiphanies.
50. Spend the entire day off the internet (for your mental well-being). Do something old-fashioned with your hands and notice how you feel.
51. Do some soul searching. Reflect on who you are, what you want from life, and what brings you a sense of meaning and purpose.
52. Spend time journaling and reflecting on the past year. What was the #1 lesson you learned? Here are some brilliant journaling ideas.
What to Do if You Decide to (or Have to) Spend Christmas With Others
Sometimes, we dearly want to spend Christmas alone, but it’s just not possible. That’s the way life is presenting itself right now. What do we do?
Although this article is aimed at those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and are struggling with Christmas, these tips can help anyone at any stage of their life journey:
- Take care of your stress levels. Relax before the event, e.g., ensure that you’re grounded, well-rested, and organized.
- Be present with your inner child. Expanding the above point, be aware that holidays like Christmas can trigger old patterns of stress and fear within us. These patterns come from the wounded inner child – and we all, more or less, have one. So give yourself a lot of validation, love, and support. You deserve it and need it. See our inner child article for more guidance.
- Set boundaries and limits. For example, make it known how long you can be at the celebration/gathering before you need to go to ____________ You get to decide. The power is in your hands.
- If contributing to consumerism/climate change is an issue for you, think about giving more mindful gifts. Focus on sustainable and ethically produced items. Bamboo is a great choice and place to start as it’s widely accessible and is manufactured in a variety of ways (from coffee mugs to bed linen).
- Keep it simple. Focus on simplifying what you need to do. Stick to the essentials. Don’t be afraid of letting go of the tasks and Christmas habits you’ve always done simply because they’re familiar.
- Think about how you’d like to reclaim your holidays for next year. Let’s face it, Christmas can feel really arbitrary and pointless. Why not plan for how you’d like to make Christmas (or another celebration you choose) more intentional. Don’t be afraid to create a new holiday ritual for you and your family that feels authentic.
- Limit contact (as much as possible) with toxic family members. We all have *that* uncle, parent, mother-in-law, or extended family member who’s a pain in the ass. Be strategic and find ways of limiting your contact with them. Doing so will help you hold onto that little bit of extra sanity.
- Gratitude helps a lot. Yes, I know the situation might not be ideal for you. But there are much worse situations out there. In fact, science has proven that being grateful is a powerful way of remaining happy and calm. So no, you don’t need to be thankful for your sibling’s self-entitled or snarky behavior, but you can be grateful that they have raised beautiful children that bring joy to the world.
***
Christmas is a celebration that is imposed on us by society. We often feel the need to play by its unspoken rules, and thus we experience a loss of our self-sovereignty. But with mindfulness, self-compassion, and a little effort, it can become a source of empowerment.
Enjoy, and take care of yourself!
So tell me, what is your story? Are you spending Christmas alone out of choice … or perhaps by circumstance? Maybe you are sharing Christmas with others but don’t want to. Share below to let others know that they’re in good company.
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Thank you for this article. For the past 5 years I have longed to spend Christmas alone. I’m a HSP and very introverted. The whole thing also feels fake to me as I can’t do anything that I don’t feel has a reason behind it. I’m pagan and vegan and don’t like consumerism. I feel like I’m watching all these people doing all these strange things and wondering why. I’d love to sit in the woods alone.. I get so so exhausted from family functions and trying to be “jolly”.
Your feelings are so valid and I can relate to these feelings, Amber. Especially the whole idea of having a “happy” or “jolly” time, which often feels put on if we’re not in that emotional space. Hugs
Self deprivation then self indulgence? That is definitely NOT a good idea. Bad practices like that lead to eating disorders.
I am. Christian churchgoer and someone who is very solitary most of the time. I have no family and friends tend to be with other family at Christmas, which leaves me with my own company on Christmas Day, unless I get an invite for lunch. Sometimes it is hard to bear the social stigma of being asked how I will or had spent Christmas, which is worse than actually being alone. It is a hard time of year for many people and I am no exception. Having said that I would rather do my own thing at Christmas than accept patronising pity waif and stray invited from well meaning people that ask if I want to spend Christmas with them but I can see in their eyes they are hoping that I will refuse. So I do.
15. Already done.
52. Treat the day like any other day.
Hahaha, love that you’ve done #15 Polly!
X-D
I’ll be spending it alone this year, I’m working all over Xmas plus I’m also going through a break up, but I have decided that I am looking forward to the challenge of turning my loneliness into solitude
This list is utterly ridiculous, insulting. Who wrote it, nobody who actually is experiencing what the article is about. If I did the things on this list, put old Christmas decorations in someone’s box, I’d be crazy. This helps nobody.
Well, I’d rather do innocent mischievous stuff than to sit around moping, snivelling and feeling sorry for myself. The author has presented 51 ways to get through this season when alone. It’s better than the negative reactions you’ve expressed.
Yes, and to build on what Mark says, I have written in the article the following:
“Note: While some of the below ideas cater to the playful, silly inner child side within us, others cater to our more serious, adult, and practical inner dimensions. I’m sure you’ll find at least one idea that appeals to you below.”
Being silly and innocently mischievous is a great way to find the silver lining and refuse to make our enjoyment of life dependant on others.
Peace ♡
Bear in mind that people may have good reasons to have such sentiments and it should not be dismiss ed.
i wish I wasn’t spending it alone. It’s a choice a need to except. I’m alone most the time anyway and it’s become a way of life. I get so depressed the closer a holiday comes. Every year I start calling homeless shelters to help out and every year the answer is ” we have too many volunteers”. It’s a heartbreaking story to tell and 2021 was tragic to say the least. I love people with all my ❤️. I just will never understand them. Most likely I will go to work we’re my residents need me. So many have no family and that’s where my heart will go. I’m a nurse who gives and loves everyone. As a kid Christmas was torture for me. I sobbed in a fetal position hiding behind my bed. But as an adult I want to give and love but honestly I’m like the child in the story “Removed”. I’m not sure I will ever understand.
I hear you Teresaa, thank you for your big beautiful heart. I know that there are many phone lines who need volunteers for Christmas (those to do with mental health and the elderly mostly). Take good care of your inner child ❤
Dear Luna,
This may be the most valuable post about Christmas I have ever come across – and I’ve read a lot of them because I *love* Christmas. Well, I love the idea of Christmas. The actual Christmas has often been more daunting and less romantic than my child-like illusion that it will be days of love.
Your 51 things are everything from practical to hilarious and whether I’m going to spend the next holidays by myself or not I may put the odd suggestion into practice (and then giggle a lot when I’ve hidden my snow family all over town) :D
Thank you for sharing and all the best,
Alice
Vienna, Austria
Thank you so much Alice for your kind words <3 Much love!
Dear Alice and Luna :)
@Alice , I am so happy I came across someone else who is also in Vienna, Austria and everything you wrote is so true:))
@Luna, thank you so much for this inspiring, funny, and beautiful article :) I am probably going to be spending this Christmas alone, but I can’t wait for it because of the amazing tips you offered us here and I will try to do at least 3 of them for Christmas :) wishing you a beautiful holiday season and lots of love and joy :)
BEING ALONE AT CHRISTMAS
I allow the event and energy of Christmas to absorb the minds of other people, while quickly finding time to inwardly absorb it in my own way. As it shapes it’s self with the community at large. So being alone is easy, both within the crowded mall all of consumerism and elsewhere. But it’s more important to be quiet within oneself too. As early Morning meditation and mindfulness gives one the edge so to speak, to be alone and quietly cleanses the inner temple of mind and heart, which aids greatly when one deals with the emotional spats and spasms from others. As the pressures of winding down the financial and economic year, are delightfully replaced by family pressures, and the social pressures of providing Christmas for everyone. Without any particular one feeling left out , lost or given the wrong gift.
So inner stillness keeps my mind and heart level and steady, despite the needs and desires of those around me with the.. I wants… Or this must be done now before Christmas arrives.
As a male, one must obey this call of the wallet , to put up with all kinds of wants, needs etc., while your energy levels flux and and vacillate, while others needs become paramount and non questionable. Emotionally one re-discovers that handling all types of people becomes a lesson in humility and tests out the value of Being Alone Skills to the core.
And this Christmas is no exception. He he he
WHAT TO DO IF FRIENDS COME OVER AT CHRISTMAS
This is a delicate balance between what I want for Spiritualist inner man, connected with what the economic maelstrom wants to press upon me, via Media, Branding, subconscious manipulations and cut price action, which deliver bewilderment, confusion and lost in space feelings at the checkout of my life.
This merges with what the family around me wants, and to decide upon as best action play time for Christmas. Plus who is going to do what to whom, to deliver low cost best outcomes, that will flavour this Christmas moment in time, and please every one, due to be released from their aloneness, to come and devour our tasty fair.
Giving their own feelings and Branding to make exotic and colourful appearances, while divulging their year ( 2020’s ) private hell, and yet full of hope and gladness (Christmas release).. Both oh no, and ah ! moments go down upon the inner man, as friends arrive to pitch their play upon the overly crammed cup board space available eg No space! Yet calmness prevails as you stuff that extra gift among the others under the tree. Or seek extra fridge space for that one and only Special cake or bottle of wine which of course must have pride of place in mind and place, yet is quietly squeezed into a back corner with all the other crap of Christmas.
Ending
So please accept this double entry message to encourage our endeavours to become better and more fulfilled Spiritualists and to vent out my feelings on the Special Christmas Festival.. Peace love and acceptance to all! Namaste.
Thank you for elaborating on the many emotional, mental, and spiritual nuances of Christmas that you experience, John! There are some interesting, unique and vital points you make here!
MY CHRISTMAS MESSAGE
Introduction
(My journey through the inner and outer workings of Christmas.)
Content
Spiritual Awakenings over Christmas * My joy in Spending Christmas Alone *
Being Alone over Christmas * What to if friends arrive over Christmas.
Introduction
Christmas is a time of both inner and outer Spiritual and personal awakenings.
First we escape the drudgery of work, to prepare and cleanse our dwellings with Sage and domestic duties. Then like drones we swamp the local Shopping Mall’s seeking Christmas Spirit. (???)
Then arrange plans of how much time allocation, expense, and what to do steps to take us through to reach the desired result, making every one happy (Mmm???) On to ….. The Shopping List!
Being only human with inner and outer experiences, Christmas takes us on a journey of clarification of past experiences, (old photo’s) reappearing from some draw, keep sake or old album, plus long forgotten cherished items that re enter synchronicity. We re-invoke old feelings and emotions, as we rediscover hidden gems, locked away until this point in time, and may be cherished once again.
Christmas is not just how many crowds we can find and dodge in and out of, or how much money we can spend in the shortest space of time. It’s a time of inner and outer cleansing of body, mind and Spirit. Plus a giving of self to those in most need, while also purging out our hiatus of the Shadow Side where our negative unconscious elements bulge for redemption to end 2020 and find peace.
It seems there is no time to be alone, as our Australian Cultural System keeps us hard at work, overcoming the 2020 Blues from Covid 19, the Bushfires, Volcanic eruptions, and Floods….you name it! The cumulative effect of this year alone has pressed upon both the individual and community collective. yet we survive the pain, loss of goods and services, and depression to many families.
So we are very busy people , following the same old outmoded traditions, while inwardly seeking and needing solace, some time to reflect this 2020 year of pain and suffering. Yet to know on the personal level we may still be cared about, found useful, and not useable. Remembered by friends and remaining family, alike to experience the collective joy of the human family at this time with all whom we meet greet and recall as part of our life span.
THE SPIRITUAL AWAKENING OVER CHRISTMAS
As mentioned before, it’s a time of both inner and outer Spiritual Awakenings. Outwardly we are confronted at the Shopping Malls how some folks have everything but give little in return, while others that have little give much more than can ever be expected. They are willing to graciously share time, and happiness in a common goal of loving and sharing their individual life styles. This humbles me often to know that some are just as lonely as the wealthy, yet know where they/we fit into this system of ours ( the Economic Maelstrom) of Christmas activity.
On the inner side we regain patience, understanding and tolerance of others. And id tensions and misrepresentations of feelings happen causing personal clashes with any one, we can find solace with Empathic understanding. Absorbing the hurts that may arise by with holding retaliation to form and letting all ignorant negative thoughts and proposals to subside and be deleted in prayerful and mindful meditations.
THE JOY OF SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE
For me it’s not just Christmas that I am alone, but always. Ever since my first mental and emotional stirrings, from the ages of say (3-7)years old I found myself in this beautiful mysterious world Alone.
Not alone as you say lonely, though I have done much in my past lonely times, growing inwardly to resolve my earliest years. More alone by myself within my own inner imaginative and creative art experiences, bonding to what ever enriches the Spirit and Soul and brings it into life.
While the outer world streams onwards with it’s confusions, power plays, sufferings, pain and pleasures. To form the many life desires that try to curb us all away from Spiritual love and peace.
This 2020 year, I found one recent early Morning Meditation happened, filled with Shadow side negative activity. A crowded house full of visual and auditory mind-stuff that spun around my inner core. With no where to go , and no escaping this volume of traffic, the maelstrom flowed out until it was a spent force for and hour and a half. As it was useless attempting the normal and helpful routine of winding down , relaxing and finding inner beauty and calm. As the Ego spun onward incessantly leaving me as the viewer to watch this outpouring and waiting for relief.
It was revealed to me that this was my Christmas joy divine, released from this burden. Which had built up from the previous day’s shopping experience for everything one can desire while shopping with the wife. As our excursion had wonderful intentions and I felt at first calm, but a little lost and bewildered with the many brands and goodies all needed for Jesus’s Birthday. But it seems my wife’s ideas differed greatly from mine over the day, to my own meagre needs and Christmas confusions.
The precious day turned from early bliss to problem solving, personality clashes, and rewiring of both our mind’s to formulate and re-negotiate open doors to clear and lucid communication.
So this pressure cooker effect held sway in my Subconscious mind till the following Morning.
So you can see from this state of affairs and relationships in married life, how even the subconscious or inner mind needs as much nurturance a clean out as the outer events before Christmas begins.
End of first three comments…Need and break and will post more in the following post …
You are courageous to call society deeply flawed. But I agree with you whole heartedly. My change in perception began as a six year old. That was 71 years ago. There has always been a great disconnect for me at this time of year. Traditions did not make me feel connected to anything. I am however very spiritual and feel connected to the universe. Just not connected to any religion or dogma. I am however looking forward to the New Year and a continuation of my journey in life. The Christmas season seems to me a holiday in the spirit of consumerism. For what purpose?
Well said!
Did we forget the Birth of our Heavenly Father? Jesus is the entire and only reason for Christmas! Reflect on your blessings. Pray for those less fortunate, those who have endured misfortune (hurricane victims who lost all their holiday decorations) and ask God how you can be a blessing to someone that needs Him in the New Year. Visit a nursing home, sing to someone or read Scripture to them. Feeds the birdies some bread or seeds. Shovel someone’s walkway if u live in that climate, or pick their weeds. Pray for your family, your friends, co-workers or just, pray.