Christmas time. It’s noisy, materialistic, and socially overwhelming.
Most people plan for it, spend for it, live for it, and dread it all at the same time each year.
In our society, the Christmas ideal is to sit around a heavily bedazzled tree or heftily set dinner table with every member of our family and friendship circles.
But the truth is, many of us don’t meet or fulfill that ideal.
Many of us wind up feeling lonely, isolated, and disillusioned because of our lack of close friendships or family members. And so we spend Christmas alone.
For those of us who have undergone some kind of spiritual awakening or existential crisis, Christmas time can be particularly painful. And that’s what I plan to cover in this article.
Table of contents
Christmas and Spiritual Awakening
Among many of the reasons why we may spend Christmas alone, undergoing a spiritual awakening is one of the top causes.
When we experience a spiritual awakening (and due to the state of the planet, an increasing number of people are), we tend to feel overwhelmed by everything. We begin to question our life choices, what our meaning of life is, and see life in a different light.
This process of life turning on its head tends to make Christmas a particularly difficult and even traumatic time.
We might ask questions such as:
- Why do I need to meet up with people I rarely see during the year for a celebration that is old and outdated?
- What’s the point of pretending that I “like” or “want to spend time with” family members who are toxic?
- I’m not Christian or I don’t believe in the origins of Christmas – why should I then celebrate it?
- How do I stop feeling so depressed and anxious during this time of year?
- Do I even want to celebrate Christmas in the first place?
As a result of the internal process of spiritual transformation occurring, our priorities become clearer and deeper concerns rise to the surface – Christmas becomes a time of dread and depression.
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Not only that, but we may not wish to adhere to the same consumerism that is destroying the planet and our souls. Saying no, being true to ourselves, and listening to our integrity becomes anxiety-provoking as we don’t want to go against the status quo in our family of origin. And yet, a part of us craves to break free and live according to our own values. A painful split emerges within us.
Furthermore, society tells us that to be alone (or to spend time Christmas alone) is tragedy that makes us sad and pitiful human beings. Sure, this might not be blatantly taught to us, but it’s an unspoken, subliminal message that we absorb. And it’s utter nonsense.
The Joy of Spending Christmas Alone
Before I get into the joy of spending Christmas alone, let’s explore why we fear aloneness.
First off, being alone is not the same as being lonely. The two are totally different experiences.
To set the record straight: being alone is something we enjoy or choose. Being lonely is something we fear and avoid.
So why the fear of spending Christmas alone?
I believe we fear spending Christmas alone, not just because of the social conditioning that we shouldn’t, but also because very few people know how to be alone anymore.
Why?
Well, when we’re alone, we have to face ourselves, our thoughts, and the irrepressible truth that we are alone, at an ego level. This fear of facing the hard truths of life causes us to fear being alone, and in the process, forget the delights of solitude.
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In our society, it is heretical not only to be alone but heretical to find contentment and fulfillment by ourselves, in ourselves as well.
As writer and solitude-lover Lionel Fisher comments in his book Celebrating Time Alone,
… we’ve been conditioned to press on mindlessly, be part of the norm.
And that norm is to stuff our inner void as full of stimulation and noise as possible.
The fact is that we need to relearn how to be alone. If we ever desire true inner peace, self-knowledge, and happiness – the kind that can only be discovered in solitude – we need to relearn how to be alone. We need to make peace with our aloneness. We need to embrace the power of solitude.
Fortunately, the holiday season is the perfect time to celebrate time alone with yourself. It’s fundamentally an act of self-care. It may be odd and out of the ordinary, but to live up to the standards of a sick, deeply flawed society is misguided.
Below you’ll find a list of just over 50 quirky, challenging, and enjoyable ideas to help you savor Christmas alone (if you choose to).
51 Things to Do Alone on Christmas
Note:
This list was originally written in 2012. While some of the ideas below cater to the playful, silly inner child side within us, others cater to our more serious, adult, and practical inner dimensions. I’m sure you’ll find at least one idea that appeals to you below.
1. Listen to what your inner child needs most from you right now. This inner child test can help.
2. Meditate on the sounds of nature outside.
3. Take a road trip to a place you’ve never been before.
4. Do some therapeutic art to release any tension within you.
5. Compose your own Christmas carol or listen to a new musician/artist you’ve never heard of before.
6. Go for a long walk somewhere you’ve never been.
7. Give yourself the gift of silence. Block out all noises and distractions and do what matters to you the most.
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8. Look for the loneliest looking person in town and send them positive energy.
9. Sing your favorite songs loudly in your house and notice how liberated you feel.
10. Sit outside and appreciate nature while drinking calming and mood-boosting teas like passionflower, lavender, or chamomile.
11. Be your own best friend for the entire day. Say kind words to yourself and practice self-love.
12. Consider what skill you’d like to learn in the coming year, and take one step towards making that goal a reality.
13. Get crafty and use old art supplies to create something weird and wild.
14. Do a grounding healing meditation.
15. Pull a tarot or oracle card and do some deep self-reflection.
16. Read the comments below this article, respond to someone, and let them know they’re not alone (spread the good karma!)
17. Spend time outdoors (depending on where you live) and do some gardening.
18. Read a book that will expand your mind, such as The Spiritual Awakening Process or Old Souls (shameless plug for our books, I know, but worth it!)
19. Do a good deed for someone in person or online that will make you feel happy.
20. Spend Christmas researching new hobbies and interests to broaden your mind and world.
21. Do a letting go ritual to release old habits that no longer serve you.
21. Make your own Christmas decorations by hand, and cover your house in them.
22. Build a spiritual altar and fill it with images and found objects that make you feel spiritually connected.
23. Come up with a list of 20 reasons why you shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. What would a rebellious freethinker say about Christmas?
24. Bake yourself something delicious and enjoy mindfully eating it alone in peace.
25. Go to your local park and soak in the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas day. Feel the happy vibes. Connect with nature.
26. Declutter your surroundings to create more inner space and peacefulness.
27. Have a movie marathon, rewatching movies that were paradigm-shifting to you.
28. Spend quality time with your fur baby if you have one. Alternatively, watch videos of cute animals online to boost your brain’s happy chemicals.
29. Look for local free events that you may find listed online (on places like Facebook) and attend them if you’re feeling social.
30. Read some of our many articles or take some tests on this website. Increase your self-knowledge! Our home page is a great place to start.
31. Open a map of your town, close your eyes, and point to a place on the map. Drive or walk there, and see what you find.
32. Connect with your spirit animal and see what it has to share with you.
33. Light a candle for all the souls who are spending Christmas alone like you, and send up a prayer to whoever or whatever you believe in to offer them comfort. Notice how you feel afterward.
34. Collect items that represent your feelings and thoughts about Christmas Day. Put them in a time capsule box and bury them in your backyard.
35. Research the deeper symbolic significance of Christmas.
36. Learn the art of automatic writing and discover what your deeper Self wants you to know.
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$337. Think about what you loved to do as a kid that you don’t do anymore, and do it, e.g., if it was taking bubble baths, take a bubble bath!
38. Make your day more humorous. Watch a comedy, laugh at people and yourself, and look for reasons why the things you take seriously are comedic.
39. Sit and observe people on Christmas day and write a short story about them.
40. Think of every reason why you enjoy being alone for the entire day.
41. Reassess your daily routine and find three alternative ways to do what you normally do. Put them in practice.
42. Be actively lazy and catch up on as much sleep as you can.
43. Spend the day opening, cleansing, and balancing the chakras within your body. This chakra test can help you get started.
44. Find a way of helping others; for instance, offer your hand in a soup kitchen, volunteer to visit the elderly, or do anything that supports others’ well-being.
45. Use the day to achieve something important. For example, write a whole blog post, get to level 22 on your game, solve 50 riddles, etc.
46. Spend the day painting or drawing your impression of Christmas Day.
47. Be eccentric. Weird out the people in your neighborhood by hanging bizarre things off a tree outside your house.
48. Nurture yourself for the whole day. Give yourself hugs, write yourself a poem, and compose a list of everything you love about yourself.
49. Do five things that are silly or ridiculous to you, and see if you get any life epiphanies.
50. Spend the entire day off the internet (for your mental well-being). Do something old-fashioned with your hands and notice how you feel.
51. Do some soul searching. Reflect on who you are, what you want from life, and what brings you a sense of meaning and purpose.
52. Spend time journaling and reflecting on the past year. What was the #1 lesson you learned? Here are some brilliant journaling ideas.
What to Do if You Decide to (or Have to) Spend Christmas With Others
Sometimes, we dearly want to spend Christmas alone, but it’s just not possible. That’s the way life is presenting itself right now. What do we do?
Although this article is aimed at those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and are struggling with Christmas, these tips can help anyone at any stage of their life journey:
- Take care of your stress levels. Relax before the event, e.g., ensure that you’re grounded, well-rested, and organized.
- Be present with your inner child. Expanding the above point, be aware that holidays like Christmas can trigger old patterns of stress and fear within us. These patterns come from the wounded inner child – and we all, more or less, have one. So give yourself a lot of validation, love, and support. You deserve it and need it. See our inner child article for more guidance.
- Set boundaries and limits. For example, make it known how long you can be at the celebration/gathering before you need to go to ____________ You get to decide. The power is in your hands.
- If contributing to consumerism/climate change is an issue for you, think about giving more mindful gifts. Focus on sustainable and ethically produced items. Bamboo is a great choice and place to start as it’s widely accessible and is manufactured in a variety of ways (from coffee mugs to bed linen).
- Keep it simple. Focus on simplifying what you need to do. Stick to the essentials. Don’t be afraid of letting go of the tasks and Christmas habits you’ve always done simply because they’re familiar.
- Think about how you’d like to reclaim your holidays for next year. Let’s face it, Christmas can feel really arbitrary and pointless. Why not plan for how you’d like to make Christmas (or another celebration you choose) more intentional. Don’t be afraid to create a new holiday ritual for you and your family that feels authentic.
- Limit contact (as much as possible) with toxic family members. We all have *that* uncle, parent, mother-in-law, or extended family member who’s a pain in the ass. Be strategic and find ways of limiting your contact with them. Doing so will help you hold onto that little bit of extra sanity.
- Gratitude helps a lot. Yes, I know the situation might not be ideal for you. But there are much worse situations out there. In fact, science has proven that being grateful is a powerful way of remaining happy and calm. So no, you don’t need to be thankful for your sibling’s self-entitled or snarky behavior, but you can be grateful that they have raised beautiful children that bring joy to the world.
***
Christmas is a celebration that is imposed on us by society. We often feel the need to play by its unspoken rules, and thus we experience a loss of our self-sovereignty. But with mindfulness, self-compassion, and a little effort, it can become a source of empowerment.
Enjoy, and take care of yourself!
So tell me, what is your story? Are you spending Christmas alone out of choice … or perhaps by circumstance? Maybe you are sharing Christmas with others but don’t want to. Share below to let others know that they’re in good company.
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This was the stupidest list I have ever read. As a person spending Christmas alone you helped me ZERO. ” Have a conversation with yourself all day”, “become a nudist for the day”, REALLY? Are you serious? How lame and absolutely stupid.
I used to get so depressed every year for the holidays for many reasons, mostly due to feeling extra alone in my memories of past trauma and toxic relationships. But several years ago I decided that Christmas can be whatever I want it to be, so I choose a time of meditation and solitary vision quest and I actively avoid participating in the chaos and frenzy of societal expectations during the holidays If I give any gifts, I give money or art that I made. No shopping. I take a long walk on Christmas day and I indulge in sleeping a lot. I practice winter hibernation. I look at the lovely Christmas lights in my neighborhood and do not envy all the parties or gatherings going on. I think, thank goodness that’s not me! I love not dealing with all the stress and forced participation. No thanks. My Christmas is peaceful and quiet. It’s me vibing with wildlife, nature and the Spirit world.
What a wonderful article! I resonate so strongly with this concept of spiritual awakening during this time of year. I have come to love and appreciate my friends and family in a different way over time, while also prioritizing my needs and taking no shit! May you all have a blessed holiday and learn to do the same 💖. Thank you Alethia and Mateo for all that you do 🙏🏼
I live alone and and created quite a solitary lifestyle. No more good or bad than any other home set up. Though I never minded my own company, don’t consider that I’m antisocial and love people. I confess I am an ‘observer’ and self-imposed as a ‘comfort role’ (yes I know it’s my inner child) and especially pronounced when participating in any type of gathering. Therefore Christmas is no exception. The observer in me feels far more comfortable detaching from the events because the ‘loner’ me doesn’t actually want to be there and is planning the exit from the moment I set foot in the door. The irony is that I love to watch – gathering information of interactions and facial expressions and atmospheres. On my own I’m free to explore beneath the surface of Christmas to feel and find meaning but in trying to celebrate with others often loses the point. Too many egos (including my own) vying for attention within a small space and overwhelmingly claustrophobic. The adults are sipping mulled wine and nibbling warmed bits of cheesy things fresh out the oven whilst comparing the price of turkeys. Essentially it’s a debate about the whole bird or… Read more »
I have been alone with christmas for quite some time, even if i was invited somewhere for diner 2nd christmas day, it always felt like the not important /mattered enough option. The last few years i was getting depressed by november thinking about it would be christmas next month. But thankfully this time its different. Last year november i started the lonerwolf selflove journal, and i cant thank you guys enough for that advise because it changed EVERYTHING! Just about everything! So much growth and healing have taken place. Sometimes it was a crazy and fast rollercoaster. I feel like there is still a lot to come in the new period. New intentions i want to follow for the new year and another chapter in the journey of healing my health.
For all the people who do have the last days of the year blues. Better times do exist!! Keep going, just breath, one day at a time. All the best to you out there! 🙋🏼♀️
My mother married a man with 6 children, I being 7th. Their father was a double PhD. Physics and math, mine was a lounge singer. It was like being from another planet than everyone else. It was a square peg round hole, one of these things is not like the others, who let the neighbors kid in all our family photos, kinda scenario. Of course, I am the black sheep, of course they ostracized me for life choices they don’t have the capacity or desire to not judge, and of course I am alone on yet ANOTHER Christmas. I admit it’s not a pleasant reminder of the roots of a lot of my discontent and disconnect in life, spending a “family” holiday sans the “family”. I do try to tell myself that better authentic connections are possible with people, that my isolation for the holiday is temporary, that the day passes just like any other does, and that this isn’t forever, it’s just for right now. I also remember how miserable I was in a room full of supposed “family”, no matter what day of the year it was. I try to remember how awesome it feels to know that… Read more »
i was sad because my friends were far from me but I thought it might be a great experience to spend this year’s Christmas alone
I wish I had read this on Christmas and maybe it wouldn’t have been so hard to spend another Christmas alone. I choose not to spend with family Bc of things they have done in the past but I hate thinking of everyone being with their family and getting gifts
Ten Things To Avoid while doing Xmas Alone. Avoid being self critical or critical of others belief systems motives desires for Xmas. Avoid blaming others for your own blatant lack of understanding on consumerism and their need for all the goodies with all the trimmings. Dodge saying too much on how willing you are to spend on their behalf. As your aware of spending too much, as the next power bill is due and will need attention. Learn ahead of time all family, and friends appointments for Xmas gatherings, luncheon dates, reunions etc., so you can squeeze in vital (me time), thus avoiding people you need to dodge, those that take control over the needs, gifts, to make them paramount and over shadow anything that you may feel needs doing yourself. Never give commitments of gifts, funding or attendance to entertainment of family/friends gatherings if the event seems pointless, shallow, fruitless, or stuck in obsessively controlled traditional ways. Or will bind you to platforms of obligation and sharing meaningless materialism without inner thoughts and feelings of those less fortunate or unable to comply with their wishes. Guard against those that without warning/asking dump their unwanted gifts upon you running their… Read more »
Great post. This is very inspirational..
I am stuck cleaning my apartment this Christmas. But it is more fun than being with family