Christmas time. It’s noisy, materialistic, and socially overwhelming.
Most people plan for it, spend for it, live for it, and dread it all at the same time each year.
In our society, the Christmas ideal is to sit around a heavily bedazzled tree or heftily set dinner table with every member of our family and friendship circles.
But the truth is, many of us don’t meet or fulfill that ideal.
Many of us wind up feeling lonely, isolated, and disillusioned because of our lack of close friendships or family members. And so we spend Christmas alone.
For those of us who have undergone some kind of spiritual awakening or existential crisis, Christmas time can be particularly painful. And that’s what I plan to cover in this article.
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Christmas and Spiritual Awakening
Among many of the reasons why we may spend Christmas alone, undergoing a spiritual awakening is one of the top causes.
When we experience a spiritual awakening (and due to the state of the planet, an increasing number of people are), we tend to feel overwhelmed by everything. We begin to question our life choices, what our meaning of life is, and see life in a different light.
This process of life turning on its head tends to make Christmas a particularly difficult and even traumatic time.
We might ask questions such as:
- Why do I need to meet up with people I rarely see during the year for a celebration that is old and outdated?
- What’s the point of pretending that I “like” or “want to spend time with” family members who are toxic?
- I’m not Christian or I don’t believe in the origins of Christmas – why should I then celebrate it?
- How do I stop feeling so depressed and anxious during this time of year?
- Do I even want to celebrate Christmas in the first place?
As a result of the internal process of spiritual transformation occurring, our priorities become clearer and deeper concerns rise to the surface – Christmas becomes a time of dread and depression.
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Not only that, but we may not wish to adhere to the same consumerism that is destroying the planet and our souls. Saying no, being true to ourselves, and listening to our integrity becomes anxiety-provoking as we don’t want to go against the status quo in our family of origin. And yet, a part of us craves to break free and live according to our own values. A painful split emerges within us.
Furthermore, society tells us that to be alone (or to spend time Christmas alone) is tragedy that makes us sad and pitiful human beings. Sure, this might not be blatantly taught to us, but it’s an unspoken, subliminal message that we absorb. And it’s utter nonsense.
The Joy of Spending Christmas Alone
Before I get into the joy of spending Christmas alone, let’s explore why we fear aloneness.
First off, being alone is not the same as being lonely. The two are totally different experiences.
To set the record straight: being alone is something we enjoy or choose. Being lonely is something we fear and avoid.
So why the fear of spending Christmas alone?
I believe we fear spending Christmas alone, not just because of the social conditioning that we shouldn’t, but also because very few people know how to be alone anymore.
Why?
Well, when we’re alone, we have to face ourselves, our thoughts, and the irrepressible truth that we are alone, at an ego level. This fear of facing the hard truths of life causes us to fear being alone, and in the process, forget the delights of solitude.
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In our society, it is heretical not only to be alone but heretical to find contentment and fulfillment by ourselves, in ourselves as well.
As writer and solitude-lover Lionel Fisher comments in his book Celebrating Time Alone,
… we’ve been conditioned to press on mindlessly, be part of the norm.
And that norm is to stuff our inner void as full of stimulation and noise as possible.
The fact is that we need to relearn how to be alone. If we ever desire true inner peace, self-knowledge, and happiness – the kind that can only be discovered in solitude – we need to relearn how to be alone. We need to make peace with our aloneness. We need to embrace the power of solitude.
Fortunately, the holiday season is the perfect time to celebrate time alone with yourself. It’s fundamentally an act of self-care. It may be odd and out of the ordinary, but to live up to the standards of a sick, deeply flawed society is misguided.
Below you’ll find a list of just over 50 quirky, challenging, and enjoyable ideas to help you savor Christmas alone (if you choose to).
51 Things to Do Alone on Christmas
Note:
This list was originally written in 2012. While some of the ideas below cater to the playful, silly inner child side within us, others cater to our more serious, adult, and practical inner dimensions. I’m sure you’ll find at least one idea that appeals to you below.
1. Listen to what your inner child needs most from you right now. This inner child test can help.
2. Meditate on the sounds of nature outside.
3. Take a road trip to a place you’ve never been before.
4. Do some therapeutic art to release any tension within you.
5. Compose your own Christmas carol or listen to a new musician/artist you’ve never heard of before.
6. Go for a long walk somewhere you’ve never been.
7. Give yourself the gift of silence. Block out all noises and distractions and do what matters to you the most.
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8. Look for the loneliest looking person in town and send them positive energy.
9. Sing your favorite songs loudly in your house and notice how liberated you feel.
10. Sit outside and appreciate nature while drinking calming and mood-boosting teas like passionflower, lavender, or chamomile.
11. Be your own best friend for the entire day. Say kind words to yourself and practice self-love.
12. Consider what skill you’d like to learn in the coming year, and take one step towards making that goal a reality.
13. Get crafty and use old art supplies to create something weird and wild.
14. Do a grounding healing meditation.
15. Pull a tarot or oracle card and do some deep self-reflection.
16. Read the comments below this article, respond to someone, and let them know they’re not alone (spread the good karma!)
17. Spend time outdoors (depending on where you live) and do some gardening.
18. Read a book that will expand your mind, such as The Spiritual Awakening Process or Old Souls (shameless plug for our books, I know, but worth it!)
19. Do a good deed for someone in person or online that will make you feel happy.
20. Spend Christmas researching new hobbies and interests to broaden your mind and world.
21. Do a letting go ritual to release old habits that no longer serve you.
21. Make your own Christmas decorations by hand, and cover your house in them.
22. Build a spiritual altar and fill it with images and found objects that make you feel spiritually connected.
23. Come up with a list of 20 reasons why you shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. What would a rebellious freethinker say about Christmas?
24. Bake yourself something delicious and enjoy mindfully eating it alone in peace.
25. Go to your local park and soak in the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas day. Feel the happy vibes. Connect with nature.
26. Declutter your surroundings to create more inner space and peacefulness.
27. Have a movie marathon, rewatching movies that were paradigm-shifting to you.
28. Spend quality time with your fur baby if you have one. Alternatively, watch videos of cute animals online to boost your brain’s happy chemicals.
29. Look for local free events that you may find listed online (on places like Facebook) and attend them if you’re feeling social.
30. Read some of our many articles or take some tests on this website. Increase your self-knowledge! Our home page is a great place to start.
31. Open a map of your town, close your eyes, and point to a place on the map. Drive or walk there, and see what you find.
32. Connect with your spirit animal and see what it has to share with you.
33. Light a candle for all the souls who are spending Christmas alone like you, and send up a prayer to whoever or whatever you believe in to offer them comfort. Notice how you feel afterward.
34. Collect items that represent your feelings and thoughts about Christmas Day. Put them in a time capsule box and bury them in your backyard.
35. Research the deeper symbolic significance of Christmas.
36. Learn the art of automatic writing and discover what your deeper Self wants you to know.
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$337. Think about what you loved to do as a kid that you don’t do anymore, and do it, e.g., if it was taking bubble baths, take a bubble bath!
38. Make your day more humorous. Watch a comedy, laugh at people and yourself, and look for reasons why the things you take seriously are comedic.
39. Sit and observe people on Christmas day and write a short story about them.
40. Think of every reason why you enjoy being alone for the entire day.
41. Reassess your daily routine and find three alternative ways to do what you normally do. Put them in practice.
42. Be actively lazy and catch up on as much sleep as you can.
43. Spend the day opening, cleansing, and balancing the chakras within your body. This chakra test can help you get started.
44. Find a way of helping others; for instance, offer your hand in a soup kitchen, volunteer to visit the elderly, or do anything that supports others’ well-being.
45. Use the day to achieve something important. For example, write a whole blog post, get to level 22 on your game, solve 50 riddles, etc.
46. Spend the day painting or drawing your impression of Christmas Day.
47. Be eccentric. Weird out the people in your neighborhood by hanging bizarre things off a tree outside your house.
48. Nurture yourself for the whole day. Give yourself hugs, write yourself a poem, and compose a list of everything you love about yourself.
49. Do five things that are silly or ridiculous to you, and see if you get any life epiphanies.
50. Spend the entire day off the internet (for your mental well-being). Do something old-fashioned with your hands and notice how you feel.
51. Do some soul searching. Reflect on who you are, what you want from life, and what brings you a sense of meaning and purpose.
52. Spend time journaling and reflecting on the past year. What was the #1 lesson you learned? Here are some brilliant journaling ideas.
What to Do if You Decide to (or Have to) Spend Christmas With Others
Sometimes, we dearly want to spend Christmas alone, but it’s just not possible. That’s the way life is presenting itself right now. What do we do?
Although this article is aimed at those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and are struggling with Christmas, these tips can help anyone at any stage of their life journey:
- Take care of your stress levels. Relax before the event, e.g., ensure that you’re grounded, well-rested, and organized.
- Be present with your inner child. Expanding the above point, be aware that holidays like Christmas can trigger old patterns of stress and fear within us. These patterns come from the wounded inner child – and we all, more or less, have one. So give yourself a lot of validation, love, and support. You deserve it and need it. See our inner child article for more guidance.
- Set boundaries and limits. For example, make it known how long you can be at the celebration/gathering before you need to go to ____________ You get to decide. The power is in your hands.
- If contributing to consumerism/climate change is an issue for you, think about giving more mindful gifts. Focus on sustainable and ethically produced items. Bamboo is a great choice and place to start as it’s widely accessible and is manufactured in a variety of ways (from coffee mugs to bed linen).
- Keep it simple. Focus on simplifying what you need to do. Stick to the essentials. Don’t be afraid of letting go of the tasks and Christmas habits you’ve always done simply because they’re familiar.
- Think about how you’d like to reclaim your holidays for next year. Let’s face it, Christmas can feel really arbitrary and pointless. Why not plan for how you’d like to make Christmas (or another celebration you choose) more intentional. Don’t be afraid to create a new holiday ritual for you and your family that feels authentic.
- Limit contact (as much as possible) with toxic family members. We all have *that* uncle, parent, mother-in-law, or extended family member who’s a pain in the ass. Be strategic and find ways of limiting your contact with them. Doing so will help you hold onto that little bit of extra sanity.
- Gratitude helps a lot. Yes, I know the situation might not be ideal for you. But there are much worse situations out there. In fact, science has proven that being grateful is a powerful way of remaining happy and calm. So no, you don’t need to be thankful for your sibling’s self-entitled or snarky behavior, but you can be grateful that they have raised beautiful children that bring joy to the world.
***
Christmas is a celebration that is imposed on us by society. We often feel the need to play by its unspoken rules, and thus we experience a loss of our self-sovereignty. But with mindfulness, self-compassion, and a little effort, it can become a source of empowerment.
Enjoy, and take care of yourself!
So tell me, what is your story? Are you spending Christmas alone out of choice … or perhaps by circumstance? Maybe you are sharing Christmas with others but don’t want to. Share below to let others know that they’re in good company.
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Spent a Christmas alone outside of Dublin ten years ago.All my housemates was engaged elsewhere.
Abroad, alone, cold, a grandfather who had just passed on.
Drunk on Vodka and beer, I wrote a eulogy about how I killed Santa.
Ten years abroad with highs and lows, broken dreams, obstructed plans, broken bones… Coming back alive…to a life of a street poet abd joker..
Back to Norway in the present as mama kundalini surges through my spines like an electric disc gone haywire – beating like a drum on all sore spots and blocks, I think I can handle the two family gatherings for Xmas. My clan don’t exactly expand, they are getting older.
For some strange reason, some nostalgia has krept in this year..Missing ‘old times’.. When we had tthick layers of snow..Family gatherings.
Now, it has become a repetition.
This too shall pass.
I enjoy Christmas spent with others but do find I get overwhelmed by the physical presence of others if there are more than a few of them. I find that I intentionally seek out time away from others.
An idea that I had for ways to spend Christmas alone would be to buy or build a birdfeeder. There are lots of simple ways to make a birdfeeder – even from a carboard milk carton. The internet will be filled with ideas, bird lovers being how they are. :-) Then get some birdseed and put it out for the birds. They make wonderful company and are fun to watch. You can make suet cakes using peanut butter or other nut/seed butters, slice up oranges and hang them from a tree or string popped corn and cranberries into a garland and hang on a tree outside. These will draw in a variety of birds. Anyway, one more way to celebrate the joy of giving – this time to birds. (who, beside entertainment, will only leave you poop – so don’t be disappointed, lol!)
This is my first Christmas as a new divorced woman, in a town that is 1500 miles away from everyone I know. I have two of the most precious furkids, that are special needs rescues, and it will be the three of us. I have their stockings hung, and packed FULL of gifts, a beautiful tree up, lights everywhere, and Christmas music filling the air. I am thankful for the peace and the opportunity to enjoy this holiday without a alcoholic narcissist to ruin it for me. Me and my two furkids will dance around the house, in pajamas, give thanks to God Almighty for coming to this world, and we will sit and open all of their presents. It will be one of the most joyous Christmas’s i have ever had and I am thoroughly looking forward to it. I have a big Turkey and all the fixings, and we will snuggle and watch movies that evening. God bless you all that are experiencing Christmas alone this year. For me, I would rather have it this way, then the way it was. I am eternally grateful.
Oh , the #1 made me burst out laughing. and normally i dont share my process with anyone, but I used to celebrate this very type of day a couple times a week. and somehow i lost the ability to appreciate it , getting confused on whether what i was doing was right or wrong for a time during toxic exposure to poor treatment from those close to me and a health issue clouding my judgement.
i had already started coming back to this important part of my self lately but reading it put so concisely and as #1 was just very clutch. a mixture of feelings affirms it once again for me as right and correct. and to know others see #1 as a thing isnt suyrprising at all, however hearing it even on a blog post leaves an impression im glad for
My daughter is spending xmas with her dad this year and his new partner and her kids. So im alone. Im glad i found this. Merry christmas to u all. I will be smoking weed snd drinking vodka from my bed for the day haha fuck it
Well, I’ve had to reinvent Christmas for about 15 years on my own. I am part of one of the most dysfunctional families, and the roots of these dysfunctions are so deep and convoluted that there’s no way or point in grapplying with them anymore. Life is too short. So, I look for ways to transform Christmas break into something meaningful to and for me.
Last Christmas, I spent at Disneyland, outside of Los Angeles, CA, This year is a little less manageable (due to the Pandemic); yet, I would like to find something enjoyable to engage. It would have been NY, but I can’t afford to quarantine for 14 days; that would consume the holiday, and all the money I would have spent enjoying the day.
So, if anyone out there has any ideas, send them to me. By the way, I live in the Nashville, TN area.
My husband hates Christmas, and well, that’s no help after I’ve done all the work of cooking, shopping, etc. He does not have to lift a finger for the holidays, because quite simply, he won’t. Every year I just want to hop in the car and go far away and enjoy the day. It’s amazing.
The easiest thing in the world to do is sit down and gripe.
I did the Christmas thing for my extended family for a very long time. Turns out, they will not reciprocate. They just go to other relatives festivities. Oh well, time to find
a different way to celebrate. I guess we all have to find our own way through Christmas. This article gave me some good ideas.
A morale boost to find other loners! I enjoy my own company but my family/friends expect me to join all the Christmas festivities. Much as I appreciate their goodwill I am determined to avoid this next year! I will save the socialising for other less frenetic times. Your 51 suggestions have stimulated some interesting trains of thought which I shall build into next December. I especially like the sybaritic nature of some of them. A week’s total indulgence appeals. Still cheaper and easier than dashing off to a far corner of the world. I wonder if I could try a little “fairy story” addition and pretend to be somewhere else! (I did try a week’s “Home Holiday” in the summer, with mixed results, but it probably takes a bit of practice to fend off well meaning friends and convince them that I really do want to be ALONE). I would add a further suggestion: turn all your clocks/watches/electronic gadgets with timers OFF – do things when you want to for as long as you want, not when the clock says it’s time.
Spent Christmas at childhood family farm alone. My choice because of my divorce and other issues my two adult children are not speaking to each other. They are my only family, other than a sister who lives far away. I decided I’m not going to go to all that work to invite those two families over when they won’t talk to each other. So until they get it together I am not having family holidays anymore. I don’t have a family I feel. I have already booked a trip to Washington DC over Mother’s Day..
But my time at farm was perfect, thought I might regret it. It is where I remember family that is now gone and The quiet gave me time to look at how I want to plan things in 2020. Went to church at a familiar place I hadn’t been in long time, visited grave sites, did some antique shopping. The few days I was there are now a memorable time for me.
Nothing wrong with being alone, just plan alternative activities for the special time of year.
I live alone now for 23 years now am 66 years old and love the peace of mind I been trying to write a book and it’s help me to gather my thoughts am single male some days it’s hard to get my life going at times especially during the holidays I travel a lot but living alone is good for me