The hardest thing about going through an existential crisis is that you feel constantly depressed and alienated.
Nothing makes sense anymore and everything feels meaningless – including all of your old accomplishments, desires, professional attachments, relationships, and goals.
You want to find your real purpose in life. You want to know why the f*ck we’re all here in the first place, but you don’t know where to start.
If you can relate to these feelings, my heart goes out to you. I’ve been there before and it’s a dark place. Worst of all, it can sometimes last for years (like mine did).
As someone who has been through this, I’m not here to bullshit you.
I’m not promising that what I’ll share will help it all become magically better.
But I do hope you find a little bit of solace.
And by the way, did you know that this whole website is dedicated to people who are going through the existential crisis? So stick around and drop in to say hi in the comments.
Table of contents
- What is an Existential Crisis? (Definition)
- 15 Signs You’re Experiencing an Existential Crisis
- WHY You’re Going Through an Existential Crisis
- Why More and More People Are Experiencing the Existential Crisis
- The Existential Crisis Can Be a Good Sign
- 7 Ways to Get Through the Existential Crisis (and Actually Benefit From it)
- When the Existential Crisis Becomes Existential Despair
What is an Existential Crisis? (Definition)
Put simply, an existential crisis is a period in life where a person is at a crossroads and is questioning their entire reality. They may wonder what the meaning of their life is and whether they have a higher purpose. They may wonder whether life itself has meaning or is just a random, chaotic product of chance. And as a result, they may suffer from tremendous anxiety, depression, isolation, and feelings of being lost. The existential crisis is often spiritual in nature and is sometimes a byproduct (or trigger of) the spiritual emergency.
15 Signs You’re Experiencing an Existential Crisis
Are you going through an existential crisis? Pay attention to the following signs:
- You’re searching for the meaning of life
- You feel alone and isolated
- You’re consumed by melancholia/existential depression
- You feel like your ‘old life’ has withered away
- You don’t know who you are anymore
- You feel like your past accomplishments are meaningless (and as a result, you feel lots of regret)
- You see through the shallowness of society’s goals and desires
- You crave for something deep and meaningful
- You realize that the Universe is far more complex than you previously thought
- You feel a sense of smallness or powerlessness in the face of everything
- You’re acutely aware of your mortality (and feel existential anxiety as a result)
- You feel fundamentally different from others
- You feel like there’s something innately ‘wrong’ or ‘broken’ about you
- You feel empty inside
- You can’t seem to find any place that feels like ‘home’
How many of the above signs can you relate to?
When I was going through an existential crisis my entire worldview shattered. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian background and could no longer come to terms with an ‘all-loving God’ who would send people to burn in hell for eternity. I went through years of confusion, emptiness, anxiety, and depression wondering what the purpose of all this was. It was an extremely difficult, traumatizing, and heart-breaking time. (And yes, thankfully I have pulled through it, hence why I’m writing this article.)
But my story is only one of millions, and there are many reasons why you may be going through a crisis. We’ll explore below …
WHY You’re Going Through an Existential Crisis
Why did all of this happen to you?
There are a number of reasons. Here are the most common that you may have experienced:
- Sudden death of a loved one
- Job change or loss
- Chronic illness of shock diagnosis
- Moving to a new place or country
- Chronic stress and anxiety
- Getting married/divorced
- Relationship breakdown
- Having a baby
- Entering a new life phase (e.g., adulthood, mid-life, old age)
- Loss of religious beliefs
- Natural disaster (flood, hurricane, fire)
- Excessive drug use
- Mystical experience
- Sudden spiritual awakening and dark night of the soul
- Prolonged isolation
Tell me in the comments, which of these causes triggered your existential crisis?
As you can see, the existential crisis is caused by literally any big life event or change – whether positive or negative.
Anything sudden can be destabilizing to your mind. Think of it like an earthquake that sets off a domino effect within your psyche. Before you know it, you have cut off all your friends, quit your job, and have completely withdrawn from society because it all feels too much.
Again, I want to emphasize the fact that this won’t last forever.
It might feel like it and you might believe, in your present frame of mind, that you’re the only person out there who is going through this. But you’re not. And there are people who understand what you’re going through. So please take solace in that and keep reading to get support.
Why More and More People Are Experiencing the Existential Crisis
Yes, you heard it right: the existential crisis is increasing in prevalence.
It’s becoming a global phenomenon.
With record numbers of people experiencing major depression and other symptoms associated with the existential crisis, the question is WHY?
With all our technology, wealth, and material abundance, why are we feeling more and more empty inside?
There are many possible answers, but I believe that the main cause is emotional, philosophical, and spiritual in nature.
We live in a world that worships the reductionistic mechanistic scientific view of life. Anything mysterious, magical, or remotely spiritual in nature is scorned and looked down upon. We pretend we’re ‘above all that childish nonsense’ when in reality it’s what we need the most.
As clinical psychologist and scholar, C. Michael Smith writes,
The world seen only through the lenses of scientific-calculative thinking is a thin, dry, hollow, surface world, devoid of mystery, depth, and meaning. There is an existential nausea (Sartre) that comes with such a nihilistic view of reality. Such a view is itself a symptom of deep spiritual, social, and ecological pathology. Some face this nihilism with stoic courage, others retreat into fundamentalistic and traditional forms of security, where they may have some limited contact with the sacred, while still being touched by the nihilism of the modern scientific worldview. Some seek a genuine sense of the sacred to give their lives meaning and direction, but cannot find it in the institutional religions of the west. Some turn to the numinous resources of the East, some to occult interests; some are now turning to shamanism, others the psychedelics, to rekindle a sense of mystery and meaning characteristic of the sacred.
As a society, we deal with our existential emptiness many ways, but the unifying sobering reality is that we are spiritually destitute. We’ve lost touch with our spiritual nature and are suffering horribly as a result.
I’ll explore how to get back in touch with your spiritual nature (and what worked for me) a little later.
But first, let’s explore why this is not all so doom and gloom …
The Existential Crisis Can Be a Good Sign
I know this sounds totally absurd.
But the fact that you’re experiencing existential anxiety signifies that you’re not a mindless sheep of society.
You are alive goddammit, and more than that, you’re in touch with your spiritual nature.
As spiritual philosopher Krishnamurti once wrote:
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
The fact that you’re maladjusted, the fact that you’re questioning everything and feel a sense of despair means that you’re getting more in touch with your own truth – not the version of truth that society likes to spoonfeed us.
As author Tim Farrington writes,
Doubt as to whether you are in a dark night or “just depressed” is probably a very good sign; it means you’re alive and paying attention and that life has you baffled, which is the precondition for truth in my experience.
Perhaps more than anyone, the Holocaust survivor and psychotherapist, Viktor Frankl, was acquainted with the depths of existential crisis. He writes in his wonderful book The Doctor of the Soul:
The ‘symptom’ of conscientious anxiety in the melancholiac is not the product of melancholia as a physical illness but represents an ‘accomplishment’ of the human being as a spiritual person.
In other words, feeling existential anxiety is not just the result of depression (or melancholy), it’s actually an accomplishment that signifies we’re in touch with our spiritual nature.
Mirabai Starr, author of numerous spiritual books writes, “Someone who is broken … who has struggled all his or her life with some intense deficiency, may have a uniquely powerful relationship with God.”
And it’s true.
The more you suffer existentially, the closer you are likely to draw to the Divine.
I realize you may be an atheist or simply not interested in spirituality, but perhaps it’s time to reconsider your relationship with the mysterious at the very least. We’ll look more into this below.
7 Ways to Get Through the Existential Crisis (and Actually Benefit From it)
Again, I know “benefiting” from your existential crisis may sound ridiculous.
But hear me out.
The existential crisis is an opportunity for you to find your life purpose, figure out what truly matters in life, and connect with your spiritual nature.
What you’re going through may be horribly painful, but you’re experiencing a death and rebirth. You’re undergoing a mental, emotional, and spiritual renewal process.
Everything in life works in cycles. Think of life like the four seasons. What you’re experiencing right now is the winter stage of existence. But after that comes spring.
Here are some paths/practices you may like to explore. Many of these I have used myself during my existential crisis period – and they helped tremendously:
1. Record (journal) all your thoughts every day
This one was a BIG help for me – and I believe it can be for you too. Writing down all your thoughts and feelings is a good way of getting them out of your mind. The more you let your thoughts accumulate, the more overwhelmed you can feel. So let it all out. Journaling is extremely therapeutic and is recommended by professionals and depressed folks alike constantly.
Learn more about how to journal.
Here’s an example of a journal entry:
I’m feeling horrible today. I watch and listen to people talk about their lives, but it all seems futile. I can’t relate to any of them. Not even a bit. All their plans, goals, and shallow desires – can’t they see that it’s all going to perish one day? Their banality suffocates me and I feel like I’m walking in the land of the dead. Everyone is asleep. Why can’t they just wake the fuck up? Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow, but for now, I just wanted to get these feelings out.
As you can see, your journal entry doesn’t need to be long. It can be a tiny paragraph or even a few words. It also doesn’t need to be wordy, well-written, or poetic. The point is to benefit from it by making a habit out of it.
If you need a little guidance, see our Dark Night of the Soul Journal for inspiration and help.
2. Turn your pain into art
Some of the best art (think Vincent Van Gogh, Edvard Munch, Goya, etc.) has come from those who have suffered tremendously. You don’t need to be good at art (or an “artist”) to benefit from artistic self-expression. The point isn’t to create something that will please others, but something that helps you feel better and process what you’re going through.
If you need ideas, go on Pinterest and look up different art projects. Places to start include watercolor, sketching, collage, and paint pouring. You can also read our art therapy ideas article and see if that interests you.
3. Get in touch with your inner warrior
There’s a reason why we’ve named this website “lonerwolf.” The wolf is symbolic of the inner warrior, the inner force of nature who refuses to give up. S/he is the fire within you that voyages courageously into the unknown, fights for freedom, and respects your true self.
When we go through an existential crisis it can feel like all our power, all our energy, has been drained from us. We may struggle to get up in the morning and keep moving forward. We may feel small and defenseless in the face of life.
The way to move through these feelings is to reconnect with your inner warrior, in whatever way he/she/it appears to you. We like to see this fiery essence as the wolf, but you may see it differently.
To connect with your inner warrior, you may like to turn to your dreams. Before going to bed, ask your unconscious mind to present to you an image of your inner warrior. Then, pay attention to your dreams. Note down anything significant when first rising in the morning. If you struggle with this activity, repeat it for a week.
You may even like to take a herb like mugwort, blue lotus, or a lucid dreaming supplement to make your dreams more vivid (please do your own research regarding dosage requirements and look into the precautions).
An alternative is to practice visualization. Imagine you’re walking down a staircase and at the bottom is a golden door. Once you open that door, you’ll come face-to-face with your inner warrior. What does he/she/it look like? You might like to play some music that puts you in the right frame of mind for this activity (think warrior music which you can find for free on Youtube).
Once you’ve connected with your inner warrior you can work with this inner image in your daily life for strength and guidance. You may like to journal with this inner force, talk with it through visualization, or create a piece of artwork that you put somewhere noticeable and special in your home.
4. Connect with nature
If you struggle to connect with others, go out in nature. Connect with the birds, trees, and plants. Sit and watch what happens around you and find delight in the small things.
Spending time in nature was one of the major ways I got through my existential crisis. I would often spend hours sitting outside observing how the clouds moved through the sky and the way the wind danced through the trees.
If you don’t live near nature, try taking regular trips to your local wildlife reserve, forest, or park. Nature is soothing to the soul and will help you to get out of your head. If you’re interested, I wrote this article on the art of forest bathing (shinrin yoku) a few years ago.
5. Find what brings you joy and meaning
Even the smallest things can bring you joy like a patch of sunlight on the floor or the feeling of cold water against your hands as you wash the dishes.
By practicing mindfulness exercises, you can connect with the present moment more and step out of the cycles of dark thought that accompanying the existential crisis.
Finding the meaning of life is a longer path, but something that can also bring you a sense of purpose. We’ve written more on the topic of finding the meaning of life and you’re more than welcome to go check that out.
6. Practice self-care and self-love
Take care of yourself. This is a tough time. I know it’s hard, and I know that most days you don’t have the energy for much. But treat yourself with as much love as you can muster. Even opening the window for some fresh air can be seen as a small act of self-love or putting on some warmer socks.
Two forms of self-love and care that you may like to start with are affirmations and gratitude. I know you may feel skeptical toward them, but there’s a reason why they’ve entered the mainstream: they work.
You may like to start a gratitude journal and list five things you’re thankful for each day (being grateful has been scientifically proven to help you feel better). And you may like to find/create one or two affirmations that you carry with you and repeat throughout the day. Examples may include, “I am strong, and I’ll get through this,” “It’s okay to not know all the answers,” “I surrender to the cycles of life,” “I’m feeling better every day.”
7. Simplify and minimize sources of stress
You’re going through enough inner stress as it is, so don’t be afraid to let go of people/responsibilities that cause you more harm than good.
One way of minimizing your stress is by creating a calm and clear mind. Try guided meditations that soothe your mind and body each morning and evening. I love the free app “InsightTimer” for all its variety and I use it on my phone each day. I encourage you to do the same.
8. Connect with others
See if there are any depression support groups around you. Not everyone experiencing depression is going through an existential crisis, but some are. And you can find a sense of kinship there.
Otherwise, there are many groups online (such as on social media) that you can join for support. Alternatively, you can simply browse around this website and see that you’re not alone in your existential difficulties.
You may also wish to call a mental health hotline if you desperately need to talk with someone or go to a website like 7cups that offers free support.
9. Explore spirituality
As psychologist Christa Mackinnon writes:
Studies find correlations between spiritual well-being and positive psychological responses when people are confronted with existential crisis situations. A recent study of 60 lung cancer patients in America, for instance, found that aspects of spirituality, namely meaning in life and prayer, have positive effects on psychological and physical responses, and an in-depth study of 160 terminally ill patients in palliative care came to the conclusion that spiritual well-being provides a sense of peace and offers some protection against end-of-life despair in those for whom death is imminent.
You don’t need to buy into anyone’s bullshit – find what type of spirituality works for you. That might be simply praying or lighting a candle, or it could mean learning how to be a spiritual healer and finding a higher sense of purpose.
I personally enjoy the path of inner work and I incorporate many eclectic practices into my spiritual path like working with the archetypes, spirit guides, practicing meditation and mindfulness, creating sigils, connecting with nature… the list goes on.
Find a path that works for you and let it give you hope.
Read: Soul Searching: 7 Ways to Uncover Your True Path »
When the Existential Crisis Becomes Existential Despair
If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming others, your existential crisis has become existential despair. You need to seek help immediately.
I am not qualified to help (I can only give general advice), so I strongly encourage you to seek out a psychologist, therapist, or counselor who can provide you with ongoing help.
I know this may feel scary and you might feel ridiculous, but it’s worth it. Please do it. Yes, you might be given medication, but that’s a stepping stone toward greater holistic health and understanding in the future.
For a list of international suicide hotlines, go here.
This is a Time of Death and Rebirth
The existential crisis is a time of death – the death of old beliefs, death of old ways of being, and death of old values.
But after death comes rebirth. Just look at the cycles of nature. What you’re experiencing isn’t going to last forever. After the night comes day, and after winter comes spring.
I hope this article has shown you how valuable this process you’re going through actually is. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are not alone.
You are actually saner than most people because you are questioning the insanity of the world around you. You are in the process of getting in touch with your true spiritual nature.
Tell me, are you going through an existential crisis right now? How does it feel for you? Please share below. Let’s help others not feel so alone.
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I came across this article whilst searching for feelings of emptiness’ within. When I read through the list of symptoms I found I can relate to the examples you give. In the last 10 yrs I’ve experienced deep depression and felt I had experience my dark night some years ago.
I found Zen Buddhism after a period of depression and a realisation I needed to find my spiritual self and a sense of purpose about 6 months ago.. I’ve meditated consistently and 2 months ago had my first insight. It catapulted me into a wider awareness and connection to everything. Synchronicity went off the chart! As things have quietened down I’ve been left struggling with a feeling of emptiness and an overwhelming sense of challenge and negativity in life. I’m having difficulty in motivating myself as it seems everywhere. Im questioning and have paused my practice as my anxiety is telling me I don’t want to feel any worse than I already do.
Your words give me hope, “after night comes day” will be a mantra for me, a lot of my darkest times are at 4am or thereabouts. Thank you and others for your words. It helps give perspective to what I am feeling :-)
I’m only learning to talk about what life has been. After reading this I was able to see another little glimmer of light.
Fourteen of the fifteen points ring true for me… Ten years ago (I was 43 and my life was beautiful – other than a job than the high stress of my job), I awoke one beautiful summer’s morning to my husband in a state of panic. He insisted that I had to see a doctor immediately, that I’d had a seizure in my sleep. I thought he had completely lost the plot. But, he was so insistent I agreed. After the initial visit, an EEG, and an MRI, that spanned almost nine months the doctor came back and said that there “may be some evidence of seizure activity”. Days later I had a full generalized seizure at work, an ambulance ride, and an introduction to AEDs (antiepileptic drugs). Over an eight year period I trialed 13 different meds. The side effects were beyond debilitating, I was unable to work, unable to function in life at all. I suffered through time of extreme emotional/psychological issues, including ideation of suicide, I became a recluse, and did everything I could to try to erradicate the seizures and find my way back to my life and my family. In the end the seizures were never controlled… After spending 30 days in a seizure monitoring unit I was recommended for surgery. Two years ago I had my right temporal lobe removed. That was the end of anything familiar about life.
I have tonnes of memories and lots of information, none of it works in my new reality. Now, I’m healing and learning a whole new way to live in this world. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But, during this past year I’ve experienced some stunning synchronicities. Those moments have encouraged me to look deeper and wider… leading me here. I am literally not the person I was. Now, I am trying to understand who I am and why I’m here.
Thank you for sharing your journey, and for creating a forum where other seekers can humbly connect and share.
Zafiro, your story is profoundly moving – I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through to get to this point of piecing back your life together. I am in awe of your strength and want to thank you for your courage. ♡ So much love to you
I’ve been. To this website numerous times, but never saw this article until today. I’ve apparently been going through this since my 28th birthday, I am now 34 as of this past May. During that time I had just got a huge promotion that I’d been working towards for a year, and had absolutely everything i thought i wanted. I remember being at work not too long after this, and looked around at everyone working, and thought it my head, is this really it? There surely has to be more to life than working and dying. This really can’t be it. I went into a slight depression that continued to get worse until I woke up and just couldn’t do it anymore. I quite my job, and moved back home for a bit. That was in November of 2017. I had a spiritual awakening in 2018 and a Kundalini awakening in 2019 that sent me into another depression, but this one was different, I didn’t think I was going to make it…it was horrible. I still feel like I’m in this depression mode, but not nearly as bad. I know I don’t meditate as often as I should. I’m just ready to feel okay again, I don’t even remember what that feels like.
Dear Isaiah, it definitely sounds as though you went through a spiritual awakening and simultaneous life crisis. Just take it one step at a time, remembering to ground yourself and stay as connected to the heart as you can. If things get really bad, please do seek out professional support. With love ♡
Reading this made me realize that this is what I went through, and there may also be elements of a shamanic calling in my life (I came here from the article about that). I’m actually climbing out of my existential crisis and my whole life is starting to change in a magnificent beautiful way. Even though the things I went through since 2018 were fairly traumatic. I actually have PTSD and am in the process of healing this. But, I’m at a point where I feel gratitude for my experiences and what they have taught and given me. I was inspired to begin a new business venture in the healing arts and I’m writing a poetry book. I’ve been rediscovering myself, and some it has been fun! Some of my spiritual experiences during this time have been mind-blowing. I’m not going to lie and say this isn’t a challenging, dark, painful experience. It truly is. But to anyone going through it, I want to assure you it’s worth it and there’s a place on the other side of the dark storm that is beautiful. Full of sunshine and rainbows. So keep going.
Thank you for this inspiring and uplifting message Rainbow ♥
I’d just like to tell you how my existential crisis came to happen. A chance encounter with a comparative stranger (I now firmly believe we were destined to meet) which forced me to confront years of denial. The pain is overwhelming (I don’t use that word lightly) and yet I believe this encounter has ultimately saved my life.
I became a mother to a gorgeous pair of boy girl twins in April 2020 (from a karmic relationship) but i feel like I’ve lost everything else including my identity. I’m sure everyone goes through a bit of an identity crisis when you first become a mother but everything is so incredibly intense with twins. If i get 4 hours sleep a night it’s alot. My circumstances haven’t helped and i feel like the universe is kicking me when I’m already down. I lost my job when the babies were 3 months old and have yet to find work. My relationship with the father imploded shortly thereafter and resulted in physical violence so i had no choice but leave with the twins. The twins and I have had to relocate several times over the past year living hand to mouth as I am effectively an unemployed single mother to two babies. I am still suffering from anxiety, rage, depression however feel helpless in treating these issues because most of the meds make you drowsy so i can’t take them. I also don’t have much free time being a single mom to twin toddlers. I feel completely lost and hopeless and don’t even know where to begin to look, or what I’m looking for. The karmic relationship is predicted in my numerology report as well, so I feel there is obviously significance that I’ve yet to uncover. If you could suggest a starting point that would be great, besides prayer. I am contemplating journaling prompts but for what? Self healing, self discovery, strength, etc.? Would you recommend shadow work? Thank you for your work xxx
Hi Samantha. Firstly, my heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be operating on little sleep, while taking care of twins, and struggling to stay afloat.
My first question is this: what type of support network do you have? Do you have any family members you can rely upon to help you? If not, do you have any friends you can turn to for support? If you have neither (or need more than this), have you tried reaching out to an emotional support group, counselor/therapist, or organisation that helps those who are undergoing a mental/emotional health crisis?
We all have a hierarchy of needs (Google ‘Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs’) and you need to focus on the basic needs first before going deeper into spiritual needs.
My recommendation is to focus on the basics for yourself and your gorgeous twins – getting adequate food, water, sleep, and focusing on gaining social support from others. You don’t have to go at this all alone.
Absolutely don’t attempt shadow work right now, it will be too much for you. Please focus instead on self-care – this guide will help you: https://lonerwolf.com/self-care-ideas/
Please let me know how you go and reach out to someone for support, don’t delay. ♡ Lots of love sent to you!
My existential crisis happened the day before I was scheduled to have a hysterectomy. I was already out of my mind with fear and worry. I had done a ancestry DNA test with my fiance to learn about my heritage a few weeks prior. I received the results the day before my surgery. When I read the report I found out that at 38 years old, my parents had lied to me my entire life and my father was not really my biological father. I cried for the entire day straight and went to the hospital for my surgery a complete mess. When I awoke from my surgery they couldn’t get my pain under control. I had to stay overnight at the hospital and that night I did a tarot card reading and asked for help and guidance to get me through this horrible time in my life. During the night I had a dream that came true the next morning. They came in and told me I was severely anemic and I told them I already knew that and that another nurse gave me an iron injection already. They searched my charts and told me I never got an injection. I then realized that was my dream. From that moment forward I had this profound sense of peace inside of me calling me to a higher purpose. And that is what led me to your website. I am forever grateful to have found this site.
Hi! Loss of spouse, 41 years of a near perfect love, live & best friend. Retired after 46 consecutive years of employment, rejection from relationships that have always been part of my life, most likely due to death of spouse. So I am suddenly alone, lost at sea, taking waves over the bow that I did not even see coming. Am secure in many ways, but struggling in many also. Hunger for a daily intimate partner. Concerned that I focus on this solution as opposed to owning a time of renewal and repurposing myself in life.
i feel even more void and nonsense. i don’t know what it is. i did reiki and i think this awakened me more, maybe unlocked some feelings. i feel like what next? what when we die? what if we reach enlightenment? are we in void then forever? so what’s the point to be alive? if at the end we are just “nothing”. maybe could somebody recommend me some book or anything that would help me understand. i was raised in christianity and im changing my beliefs, maybe that’s the reason why i feel so much nonsense when i think about enlightenment. but like hell and heaven is also a nonsense to me. i’m so lost.
I feel all of these. I have since the beginning of 2018. I don’t think I’m going to come out of it. At all. When I begin to make some progress, I end up right back in this hole again, sometimes deeper than before. Really struggling for the past two months but this time is different. I literally feel my soul peeling away from me, desperately trying to separate from me. The scary part is that I don’t even care.
A traumatic life event (losing a lover) has led to an existential crises. No meaning to life now. Just emptiness, depression, anxiety, hopelessness
Yes, moving to a new place, a year and a half ago after living in my previous place for 32 years. I also quit work. The main thing now is that I have always known that I have a strong tendency for emotional dependency and there has been a particular couple that has shown such love and support. She told me the other day “… you have gone into your own wound and you are looking in the mirror and seeing the wound, rather than the election of your Soul’s essence.” As such, she will still love me etc. but not to the point where I am reflecting on my own wound. And I honour her for this. This has thrown me into a dark and challenging place. A place now where I NEED to recognise the shadows that have been there for so long and yet I have feared to look at. Am feeling a huge amount of shame and recognise that it is there. As well, as moving, retiring I am at an age (66) where I feel like I am still not fulfilled in life. I have always had a spiritual hunger within and had an intense desire to know who I AM, been aware that I am beautifully connected to the Divine, and was 45 years in religion. As someone told me the other day, especially since I have moved location, old ways are dying. . . I am waffling one now. I have found this article to be very good and encouraging and will be reading more of your work. Thank you
Well I found I connected with more than one. Chronic stress and anxiety, the end of relationship, soul awakening or dark night of the soul. At first when the relationship ended I felt like a piece of my soul was ripped out of me. I prayed daily though, read devotionals, went to counseling, at the time I was also in a downward spiral mentally from my bipolar disorder. For maybe 2 months I felt lost. Than a fire inside be lit up. Before our break up I started seeing sequences of numbers. While mourning this relationship. I started seeing other things repeatedly and hearing things repeatedly. So as each free thing came up or something caught my eye. I downloaded everything that I could get for free. I started meditating, journaling, mindfulness, if negative thoughts came up I sat with them and let them flow through. I have always been a loner, I have always loved nature and animals, I used to feel things before they happened, I am highly sensitive and pick up others feelings or emotions. My great great grandfather was a shaman.
I’m so scared, I’m 16 years old and I started my spiritual path last summer because I was in a really bad state in my life and spirituality helped me a lot but two months ago all of a sudden I started questioning my reality and asking the question why everything exists every single day. And I can’t with this anymore, I also have to study to enter a good university and I can’t do it. And it scares me reading that people said that they have been like this for 10 years. I cant bear that.
What should I do?
Hello Carla. I am sorry that you are experiencing these things, that is something no one should have to deal with. I know it feels scary sometimes and your just can’t with this anymore, and I know what it’s like to be afraid by what others have said their experiences were like. But you mustn’t give into that fear, that fear will only keep you afraid and spiraling downward. I cannot say I have sure fire advice to give you as I am working through much of these things myself, but I will say that the article above has many good pointers and advice. One thing I try to do each and everyday is remind myself that things will be okay even when they look terrible. Always remember that their is a brighter tomorrow waiting for you. If you need someone to bounce ideas off of I am here to help. Just be brave. I know you’ve got this, you just need to keep fighting. Be the warrior you were meant to be. Many blessings my friend.
Hi. This is Tammy. I have so far learned enough to understand I am most likely going through some sort of awakening and existential crisis. I’m pretty positive there is more to it than I am aware of. But I find it exciting to know there are answers to my questions. I believe my journey started when I was around 4 years old. I wanted to understand what was wrong with my mom and how could I ever help her. That lead me into my own world of watching and listening and seeking. That by itself has lead me a long way in my life experience. I do know that everything I have in me where I am at right now is not everything about everything. I believe I can learn a lot more with your help. I am a believer in God. Nothing about my life ( I think) has much to do with being religious. I can’t keep up that way. But I have always felt a lot more confident in seeing myself as being more spritual. Though I need more knowledge and especially understanding to what that really is. I do believe that it is something that comes from God. I especially want you to understand that about me because God has been very important to me in my walk through life. But please don’t think I’m not open to new things. And your sight is new to me. But already are showing me things I need. So I plan to stick around for a while at least. I promise to do what I can to help support your work. Because I already think it is very important. I just have to be very careful of my spending. I just need a little more time before I can make a contribution to help you for helping me. And thank you for being there.
Hi everyone,
Yes im in tears too, finally finding a site that answers all my questions.
Ive git all 15 signs, Ive felt this way for past 10 years on and off, went to few therapists but they could not provide answers unlike the answers this thorough provides! Im taking little paces using this site. I often considered suicide several times over the years but something stopped me. Im trying to see the sunshine in life now and will try art therapy too :)
I’m so glad you’ve found this article and these thoughts/discoveries/feelings I’ve shared have helped you Paul! Much love to you ♡
Tears are pouring down my face as I read this. I have been in a spiritual desert for years. I have been through so much the last 10 years and then just as I was thinking I was going to be able to move past all the illness and depression my son died on on Mothers Day. I literally had signed up the day before to start my website and business as a cannabis health coach. I had been healing my body physically but had experienced so much loss and hearbreak all while I was leaving my old life. I live such a different life, I often wonder about how such a thing happened. I like the choices I am making and the paths I m exploring but it’s all been so terribly lonely….yet that is what I have craved. I have experienced a type of brain injury from medications. This has been part of the transformation. I am still healing physically but feel lost on moving forward.
I found this site as I am doing a 21 day Spirit Cleanse and today was a day to work on the 4th Chakra. The heart…the soul. The me. I found this site and then found this particular page and it was like being banged upside the head.
I am a former nurse. I did mostly cardiac and post op floors. I became unable to work due to many ailments in 2010. I up and moved in with a man I barely knew 6 hours away from my family and all the friends I had. I was heavily medicated over a period of 4 years when I had an awakening that the path I was on was hurting me even if I was following doctors orders by taking the medication. I was severely depressed. It was a severe dark night. I believe the combination of all the trauma I have from childhood on, then having such a prolonged sickness, followed by my sons death at the young age of 36 have sent me to this place. I have been learning about mindfulness. I have been learning to practice meditation. I was asking about crystals today. This is far from my conservative protestant christian middle class life I had for 50 years.
I have lived in a RV for 6 years. I am very mindful of many things most never consider, like water use, and plastic use. I feel most content in nature. I have wondered if I am to use my previous “healing” but in a new way. I feel called but to what I do not know. OHGosh….this is the first I have spoken of this. I have been in therapy and making headway…but still feeling something is missing.
I look forward to my journey. I look forward to learning what I am meant to do for the next part of my life. It couldn’t come at better time than now. I know Spirit is calling, which has created all the synchronicity of the information on heart work lead me to here. Thank you. I am excited now.
Hearing that you now have hope and are starting a new chapter in your life makes my heart swell with joy – thank you for sharing this and for your vulnerability Debra! ♥
Chronic stress and anxiety, mostly over finances and income. Lack of a support system to help me with everyday life issues. I still have all these.
I’ve been struggling for 10 months now. I have to say honestly these were the worst times I’ve ever been through.
nothing triggered my existential crisis but I’m pretty sure it’s a spiritual awakening, I’ve been into spiritualities for a long time now but I didn’t put much effort into it so I think it’s time to start paying more attention to my inner self and soul.
I’ve read into science and philosophy but nothing helped, in fact, science triggered my crisis so much and made it worse.
I’ve strayed away from spirituality these past few months but your article made me realize that I should start taking it seriously.
this article – and the whole website- are amazing, I just pulled an all-nighter reading the other articles linked with this one.
i can’t stress enough how thankful I’m for you! also I really hope for anyone who’s reading this to get through these tough times ! we’re all strong being !
Existential Despair. I had two days of this I am feeling better this afternoon. My appt. with my Pysch Doc is Thursday morning. I will be ok, but I have a hard road ahead. I was in the hospital for two weeks last year where my ego died. I thought that was the end of the dark knight, but it has returned. The only thing I can think of is some very deep emotional traumatic events rooted in my subconscious. Also, at the end of July of this year I had four seizures and during one of them I broke my back.I have also had depression for twenty years, but last year mania hit, so now I am bipolar I with anxiety and i take medications daily. I have been really sick with something on top of all this for two months to where I can barely walk. Also, veils have been lifted and I can see more than I can stand. Thus, all of this may have been the ‘trigger’.
Aken
I know this is a late reponse, but I hope you’re feeling much better by now Ken. Along with an existential crisis, you might also have undergone a spiritual emergency (https://lonerwolf.com/spiritual-emergency/). I’m so glad that you’ve sought help! Sending love
Before I move on from here. I just want to take a moment to say you sound much like me in my life. So if there is anything I can help anyone with I hope my sharing does that. I have held myself back from so many things that probably could have been helpful to me in my life. But recently I have discovered that a big part of it is not being sure of myself and the journey I have been on almost all my life. Looking for answers to my questions and seeking truth to the best of my ability. And I know it’s not everything. But I do think there is a lot in it.
I find it exciting to find answers and info that help open my eyes through time. But some things take so long to connect for me. My mind seems to spin in ways that are even hard for me to understand. I think we sometimes get mentally tired. Recently I thought I was going into a mania. But I don’t think so so much right now. I think it has something to do with the way I have been “conditioned” in my life. Causing me to doubt myself and that what excites me so much is real. But now I can say it is real. I’m not crazy like I have been made to be afraid that I am. Something that if my mom was still around would be very important for her to know. I just hope I have enough in me to help you see it too. You (I, we) are not crazy! Life is. It has a way of getting things confused inside of us and there is a reason for it. It’s just not that easy to connect the dots so our understandings make sense. But that is why our traumatic experience when we are young is so important to us now. Not in the way of reliving it but in the way of looking at it and learning from it. I think that is why “personal inventory” is so important. Because we can explore and learn from ourselves for ourselves and know what to do different in order to feel better about moving on. Within the last month I have made one of those discoveries. So I need to seek out answers to questions I never explored before. Answers you don’t find in a psyc ward. If I can avoid that I try. I have so much to do when it comes to these things. Being in the hospital for it is somewhat waist full. Though sometimes nessasary. There is such a thing as waiting too long. But to be a believer in a environment that most people are not. Tends to leave a person feeling they are alone in their walk. To know the truth that comes from inside is not always easy to deal with alone. This is a big reason why this sight has my attention. Because this is not so much the kind of stuff you find being talked so much about in church. I think this is a very good way to explore ourselves from the inside and what comes out will be more natural. Not so much about because it is what we are told by others. We are guided and lead by others and we learn a lot of things that are good and bad, truth and not truth. And even if we are not always 100 percent sure about everything that comes our way. I think God finds a way of helping us see it. In ways only He can do. I think we both can get a lot out of this just for our own sake by itself. For me I am on the road to breaking a chain that has been saught for a very long time. So I hope you have found the same.
I’ve been suffering with this for about 10 months now after losing my dog, then my stepdad was given a diagnosis of 12 months to live, then he passed 3 months later. Mum was suicidal and I was the only one who could help her. The pressure on me was immense, and on top of all of that, I was waning off the anti-depressants I’d been on for 5 years so that plunged me back into depression just as I started to experience all of the above.
I’m now suffering with another bout of anxiety and depression but I don’t want to go back onto the anti-depressants as it took me months to wean off them last time and I was so ill during that time. I can’t bear to put myself through that again. Plus, as a reiki practitioner, I feel it would be hypocritical to go on ‘pills’ whilst telling recommending energy healing for everyone else, I feel like tablets aren’t very ‘spiritual’ and although I know they would help me, something deep inside me is stopping me from going back on them. But it’s so hard going through this, everything is starting to fall apart around me that I’ve worked so incredibly hard to create. I feel lost and alone – so it’s so comforting to read this article and realise that I’m not, thank you so much xx
Yes, the meds dope me up but at least I don’t feel like killing myself. My trick is to take as small a dose as possible to stay sane.
Aken