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ยป Home ยป Facing The Darkness

21 Signs You’re Experiencing “Soul Loss”

by Mateo Sol ยท Updated: Jul 12, 2024 ยท 262 Comments

AI generated image of a wolf in a dark forest experiencing soul loss
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In our society, there is a mysterious phenomenon occurring known as “Soul Loss” arising in all people of all ages, genders, races, and backgrounds.

Indigenous people have known about the occurrence of Soul Loss for millennia and understand it as the result of an inner fragmentation caused by a traumatic experience or an intense shock to the mind and body.

While for many of us Soul Loss sounds uncomfortably familiar, this experience is usually temporary, and with the proper inner work, these lost elements of ourselves can be reintegrated into our lives.


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Table of contents

  • What is Soul Loss?
  • How Does Soul Loss Happen?
  • The Psychology Behind Soul Loss
  • 21 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Soul Loss
  • Soul Loss & the Spiritual Awakening Journey
  • How to Reconnect With Your Soul
  • Soul Loss Q&A

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What is Soul Loss?

Image of a ghostly woman in a dark forest experiencing soul loss

When we experience Soul Loss, a part of our Soul โ€“ or living essence โ€“ ‘hides’ or shuts away, hindering us from expressing and experiencing our true potential and wholeness as human beings.ย 

Often times entire aspects of our psyches are completely blocked out or repressed.

During my exploration of shamanism and its methods of soul retrieval, Soul Loss was defined as the experience of the Soul traveling to other realms or alternate realities, and often being possessed by spirits.

From the shamanic perspective, when these parts of our Souls are not recovered, we can’t seem to find inner completion or Wholeness.

Before psychology, this explanation was the only way primal cultures could explain (what we refer to in modern times as) trauma in order to find ways to treat it โ€“ and it was immensely effective at the time.

However, Soul Loss can now be approached from many different angles. We’ll explore these varying perspectives next.


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How Does Soul Loss Happen?

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Sadly, in our modern world, Soul Loss is the rule rather than the exception.

As individuals, we lose connection with our souls (or True Nature) every time we identify with our egos and seek to feel whole again through addictions, stimulation seeking, dogmatic beliefs, conditional relationships, and workaholism.

But there’s a reason why we identify with the ego and disconnect from the Soul in the first place: it’s a survival mechanism.

We must develop a sense of self, a separate sense of “me” in the world in order to function.

But simultaneously, developing an ego (which is basically one big defense mechanism to ensure that we’re loved, accepted, taken care of, avoid pain, etc.) means that we lose touch with the authentic essence of who we truly are: the Soul.

As a result of Soul Loss, we begin experiencing symptoms of weakness, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and emptiness.

We just know that something is missing from our lives โ€“ but many of us struggle to discover what exactly is missing.

To understand Soul Loss as a loss, or disconnection, from the most vital parts of who we are is known in psychology as dissociation: the root of many mental illnesses.

The Psychology Behind Soul Loss

Image of a sad crying woman suffering from soul loss

So how does the actual process of losing touch with our Soul happen, from a psychological standpoint?

When we become disconnected from the root of who we are, an imbalance is created within the psyche. This disconnection grows through time and can be intensified by traumatic circumstances that have a tendency to fragment the psyche.

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What happens when our psyches fragment? The answer is that individual parts of our personality (e.g., the shadow self, anima, animus, etc.) are made independent and thus escape the control of the conscious mind.

Lingering in the unconscious mind, these parts of us long to be integrated and to be made conscious, and can resort to extreme measures to get our attention (such as suicidal depression, self-destructive behavior, and explosive rage).

What happens when one of our psychological ‘complexes’ emancipates itself and becomes a tyrannical usurper of consciousness?

The result is an increasing feeling of being alienated from ourselves, life, and the Divine. We may live with fear, guilt, and shame as a constant backdrop to our lives.

And usually, we feel numb and empty inside, and a sense of hopelessness that we try to smother with work, family life, friendships, gossip, and various addictions.

Soul Loss is Also Known as Dissociation

Image of a depressed man suffering from soul loss

Soul Loss, in a sense, is another way of saying dissociation.

If you’re familiar with basic psychology, you’ll know that dissociating means disconnecting or detaching from something, in this case, ourselves.

This disconnection happens as a result of a traumatic situation or environment that we’re subjected to.

It’s a defense mechanism that prevents us from totally shutting down and being incapable of functioning.

Here’s a (tragically very common) scenario of how dissociation works:

Imagine that a young child is molested or abused. In order to cope with the horrendous experience, the child escapes by dissociating or detaching themselves, from the situation.

In the process of protecting themselves, the child creates various alter egos, or entirely different personalities within themselves, as a defense mechanism.

In psychology, this is treated as “multiple personality disorder” (now known as Dissociative Identity Disorder).

It’s easy to understand how tribal cultures would have perceived this as a loss of the Soul.

But essentially, psychological dissociation is nature’s way of protecting ourselves against intense trauma and loss by blocking these wounding situations out.

But Soul Loss, or dissociation, is not limited to these extreme cases and can be found in different degrees in most people.


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Addictions, eating and identity disorders, post-traumatic stress, depression, codependency, narcissism, low self-esteem, and adjustment disorders are all common causes for (and symptoms of) Soul Loss in our superficial, fast-paced, materialistic modern societies that are mostly devoid of all sense of sacredness.

A young woman who dreams of being an artist but has to live up to her parent’s expectations of being a doctor will lose a little bit of her Soul, ignoring an essential part of her being.

Or suppose the young woman does go ahead and follows her dream of being an artist, but deep down, she still depends on her parent’s approval. She then either blames them to avoid taking responsibility for pursuing her passion, or she develops depression because she is not accepted by them.

This story might sound familiar to you.

Fortunately, there are many ways of rediscovering wholeness again. Most of the material Aletheia and I write for lonerwolf is a form of Soul Retrieval, where we help you to become aware of aspects within yourself that may be buried or lost.

We do this by encouraging the development of authenticity, self-exploration, self-love, and self-transformation. I’ll explore some common Soul Retrieval practices a little later.

But first, are you experiencing Soul Loss?

21 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Soul Loss

Image of a lost wolf

There are a variety of physical, psychological, and spiritual symptoms of Soul Loss.

When we experience Soul Loss โ€“ that is, parts of our Soul ‘hiding away’ or dissociating from us โ€“ the result is a loss in Soulful energy or the very vitality of our lives.

This loss of energy prevents us from living a healthy, fulfilling, and creative existence. Sometimes, Soul Loss can last for a whole lifetime, resulting in the development of a self-destructive person who we often refer to as a “Lost Soul” in our language.

To recover these lost parts of ourselves, and to become balanced, whole, and centered once again, we must first identify the symptomsย of Soul Loss within us.

Below, you will find some of the most common symptoms of this core issue:

  1. Memories and parts of your life have been blocked out.
  2. You experience strong periods of depression.
  3. Parts within yourself feel missing or broken.
  4. You experience a general emotional numbness to life.
  5. Constant feelings of fear or anxiety plague you.
  6. You go through long periods of insomnia.
  7. You feel lost or incomplete.
  8. You feel like a ‘different person’ after a shocking or traumatic life event.
  9. You feel stuck or incapable of overcoming a certain issue in your life.
  10. You feel disappointed with life.
  11. You feel as though there are multiple ‘selves’ within you.
  12. You try to escape by turning to alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or excessive busyness.
  13. You feel unworthy of being loved.
  14. You are experiencing a dark night of the soul and/or spiritual emergency.
  15. You want to find your purpose and meaning in life.
  16. You feel like your daily life is meaningless and task-driven.
  17. You avoid feeling vulnerable and keep others at a distance.
  18. You long for wholeness and a sense of belonging.
  19. You sometimes feel that you’re not in control of yourself.
  20. You constantly feel mentally or physically fatigued for no medical reason.
  21. You thirst for authenticity and complete acceptance of yourself.

How many can you relate to? You’re welcome to share in the comments below.

Soul Loss & the Spiritual Awakening Journey

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What happens after we experience Soul Loss? The answer is that usually, we go through an internal crisis (or Dark Night of the Soul) that leads to a deep spiritual awakening.

In fact, Soul Loss is typically what triggers an initiation into the mysteries of the inner world in the first place โ€“ it’s at the core of the spiritual wanderer’s journey.

Eventually, we get to a point where we just can’t continue living with a sense of existential emptiness and desolation any longer.

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A thirst is then born deep inside of us to find our true destiny, place in the world, and meaningful connection with the Divine. Such is the beginning of our spiritual journey โ€“ the call to return Home.

How to Reconnect With Your Soul

Ai generated image of a wolf in a circle of light representing healing from soul loss

For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?

โ€“ Jesus of Nazareth

Inner work or Soul Retrieval (ensoulment) practices are the best way to reconnect with your Soul.

This is because they take you on an internal adventure and channel your energy toward your deepest buried feelings, thoughts, and dreams, all of which carry vital parts of you.

There are a multitude of inner work practices out there. Some of those particularly suited to Soul Retrieval may include:

  • Inner child work
  • Shadow work
  • Art therapy
  • Dream work
  • Mirror work
  • Archetype work (also includes Internal Family Systems Therapy)
  • Plant medicine journeying (undertake this with an experienced guide)
  • Meditation and mindfulness exercises
  • Visualization
  • Keeping a journal
  • Singing and chanting
  • Nature immersion and ecotherapy
  • Movement therapy (yoga, dancing, etc.)
  • Our Shadow & Light Membership for ongoing support

Choose a few areas you’re interested in and stick with them for a period of a year or more.

(However, ultimately, use your own judgment โ€“ and if you feel overwhelmed by any, stop immediately.)

This work takes dedication and sincerity, so go at a slow and steady pace. One day, you will look back on the moment you read this article and realize how far you’ve come!

Soul Loss Q&A

Ai generated image of a lonely man standing in a desolate landscape experiencing soul loss

Here are the answers to some commonly asked questions:

Q: Is Soul Loss about losing your Soul โ€“ can I lose my Soul?

A: Soul Loss is about losingย touchย with your Soul. You cannot totally lose your Soul; it is always there in the background of your life, albeit, often times inaccessible due to the trauma you may have experienced. Many people misunderstand the term Soul Loss and believe that it means literally meaning losing your Soul. But instead, it’s about losing access to the vital core of you.

Q: How do you know if your Soul is gone?

A: Again, the Soul never ‘goes’ away, it just becomes hard to reach, hard to reconnect with. Common signs that you’ve experienced Soul Loss include anxiety, depression, emotional numbness, loneliness, emptiness, chronic fatigue, feelings of hopelessness, boredom, and profound dissatisfaction with life.

Q: Can Soul retrieval only be done with a shaman?

A: Although ‘Soul Retrieval’ is a shamanic term, it doesn’t need to be performed exclusively by a shaman. Psychotherapists, bodyworkers, and highly experienced trauma-informed spiritual healers can also provide Soul Retrieval help. Try to find someone reputable when it comes to Soul Retrieval, and most of all, trust your instincts. This is a sacred journey and requires guidance from a person who genuinely respects you and the process.

***

To be healthy, to feel whole, and to live a harmonious life, you must recover the vital lost parts of yourself by learning to live a life of balance, authenticity, and self-love.

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Finding the fragments of yourself that are lost, restoring, and integrating them is to return to your innate wholeness โ€“ it is to restore the essential vitality that is your Soul, which is the essence of the journey of spiritual awakening.

To learn to slowly reintegrate the lost elements of your Soul through the practice of inner work (or Soul Retrieval) is to fulfill your potential as a divine being having a human experience.

If you would like to learn what to explore next after healing from Soul Loss, see our guide on Soul Work as a path to embodying divine love.

What has your experience been like with Soul Loss? I’d love to hear your story below.

If you need more help, we offer 3 powerful ways to guide you on your inner journey:

1. The Spiritual Wanderer Course: Feeling lost or uncertain about your path and purpose in life? Gain clarity and focus by learning about the five archetypes of awakening within you. Discover your deeper path and purpose using our in-depth psychospiritual map. Includes 3+ hours of audio-visual content, workbooks, meditations, and a premium test.

2. Shadow & Light Membership: Seeking ongoing support for your spiritual journey? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Deepen your self-love and receive personal support from us.

3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Ready to soul search and dive deep? Access our complete "essentials" collection of beloved journals and eBooks. Includes five enlightening eBooks and seven guided journals, plus two special bonuses to further illuminate your path.

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About Mateo Sol

Mateo Sol is a spiritual educator, guide, entrepreneur, and co-founder of one of the most influential and widely read spiritual websites on the internet. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction and mental illness, he was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. His mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in all stages of life. [Read More]

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  1. Marnie says

    October 27, 2019 at 1:06 am

    This is all very new to me and your concept of “Soul Loss” has profoundly touched me. I definitely feel lost and in grief. Thank you lonerwolf.

    Reply
  2. John Hall says

    October 12, 2019 at 8:12 am

    When I saw the photos of the women covering one eye I thought to myself, I’m on the right trail. I had a psychological experience where a lawyer put a mark over my right eye. There was this shadow being next to him. This was a terrorifying experience and it was not just a dream I was fully awake. Can anyone she’d any light on this. Also, something else happened but I can’t remember if it was before or after the lawyer scene. A lighting boltof some sort flashed from my brain to my heart and out of that came a shadow being that wasn’t very nice at all. I was extremely weary I remember and couldn’t resist. I thought I was going to die.

    Reply
    • Aletheia Luna says

      October 12, 2019 at 10:36 am

      You may have experienced sleep paralysis, John. Strange and terrifying visions occur during this experience.

      Reply
  3. Amy says

    September 29, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    I’m in a RELATIONSHIP were it’s oink one Sucre person who shows love affection and comfort the other is emotionless and when asked dissects every thing went this weight that instead of asking what what the original question is how do you feel or care or love me WHEN you show NOTHING what do i

    Reply
  4. Angela says

    September 23, 2019 at 3:33 am

    Is it possible to repair your soul if you donโ€™t have the ability to visualize? Do you have any resources of places to go for help with this?

    Reply
    • Mateo Sol says

      September 25, 2019 at 12:21 pm

      Thanks Angela. Yes it is, through a process called ‘felt sensing’ which some therapist specialize in. Essentially your body stores trauma and you can learn to relate to it through different techniques to see what information it reveals.

      Reply
  5. Lila says

    September 09, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    Dear Sol,
    I’ve been reading yours and Althea’s blog for several years, and I find it really inspiring. I just want to share an epiphany I had a couple of days ago.
    I was talking about past lives in a spirituality oriented fb-group, and I was wondering a life I had at least 2000 years ago and then other lives I’m aware of. I had a regression made last November, and I remembered a life (which I had been aware of earlier, I just got new details to it), in which I lived somewhere in the Greek archipelago during ancient times. I was a young man, whose personality and energies were very similar to my current life’s teenage-self. I was a delicate flower, sensitive, dreamy and fantasy-prone. I was much happier back then though, circumstances were different.

    I wondered how little I had changed in a few millenia. So, this sensitive dreamer is the essential part of my soul. However, then I realized, that there are plenty of other lives, where I have been quite different: a passionate and adventurous person with burning eyes. This energy is also an essential part of my soul.This side of the soul has preferred male life, although not always. I was a delicate male-flower in this life I described above.

    Although I was very sensitive and had good imagination when I was young, I was very much aware, that there was also another dude in my archetype gallery. He has a lot of good sides – he is a very energetic, brave and powerful person, but he gets bored easily and also has pretty bad temper. His passion is sometimes overwhelming. So, I mostly kept him in the dungeons of my psyche. However, doing so, I’ve lost most of my power and I felt weak most of my childhood and early adulthood. I just realized, that I may have been splitting my soul for thousands of years, because I’ve been unable to integrate the different parts of it. Sometimes I’ve preferred to be the sweet, sensitive type, and sometimes the energetic and brave adventurer.

    In addition to my own difficulties with my own soul, my sensitive and emotional self was not accepted by my family, plus masculine energy was favored. My masculine/feminine -ratio is close to 50-50 and I’ve been aware of this as well from early childhood. So, most of my authentic self was just loathed by other people, and no, wonder that I started to feel pretty empty after pretending to be someone that I was not in my early adulthood.

    I think that I’ve made a plan before this incarnation to integrate the parts of my essence to become whole. I actually did this already, I just didn’t quite understand everything behind the process. It was not enough that I just integrated the parts of my own essence, I also needed energy from a twin soul to do this. He was the catalyst of the integration, but his energy is also part of my essence, so I could not become whole without him.
    When I successfully fused the delicate flower and the warrior (and the feminine and the masculine + the essence twin), I regained my power and passion but stayed sensitive to the mystical realms of the world. However, I felt that I lost a lot of my creativity, but after a while I discovered that it just works in a different way. I also became super empathetic, which surely prevented the bad-tempered dude to hurt anyone, because other people’s pain become my pain as well.
    My name is Lila. During the days of the fusion, I had a lot of colour-dreams related to my name. Lilac is a combination of blue and red. I see the passionate self as red and the sensitive self as blue. When they are fused, that’s lilac. In addition to that, I needed some golden yellow from my essence twin. He brought the light, joy and warm energy, which made my soul finally whole.
    The next challenge was, that I had to learn to live with my fused essence. That’s a whole different story.

    Reply
  6. anon says

    August 27, 2019 at 10:27 am

    wow its like reading a page from my diary. explains me to a tea. stuck in such a deep hole i feel like i cant climb out, my soul is long gone

    Reply
  7. Alora Myers says

    July 10, 2019 at 1:05 am

    Hi Mateo,

    I love your blog and writing style. The way you present your thoughts has an impeccable fluidity to it. On the subject of “soul loss”, I wanted to ask what your thoughts were on the effects of co-dependency. Like crabs in a bucket, how strong can the effect of co-dependency be on the perpetuation of an individual’s disillusionment from themselves?

    Sincerely,
    Alora

    Reply
    • Mateo Sol says

      July 10, 2019 at 2:32 pm

      Thanks Alora. I think co-dependency originates in part due to soul loss to begin with. With a weak sense of self we enter a relationship and end up entangled with someone else as we haven’t clearly defined ourselves as individuals because there’s parts of ourselves that are blocked off from being accessible.

      Reply
  8. Nicolescu ion Tismฤƒneanu says

    June 05, 2019 at 1:08 am

    I love you and I love this article. It’s nice to know that there is a name and reason for the constant pain that I feel. When I was very young, I was ripped away from a happy life in Siberia and dragged to America, a country that I feel does not respect my cultural views or the way I lived my life. Walking around in my cultural clothing and playing my pipes gets me odd looks. Attempting to share my culture with Americans gets me scoffed at and unpopular. This isn’t the country that I bond with. So after that, I’ve always felt this indescribable pain, a longing, and a desire to understand why I was taking this so hard.

    While this article has not answered *every* question I had, it is most definitely something that helped me realize that the pain I feel is very real and has a name. And I truly appreciate both you and this article for this.

    Reply
    • mandala says

      September 24, 2019 at 7:01 am

      AvatarNicolescu ion Tismฤƒneanu Have you ever attended any good Native American powwows ? I was looking at a photo of a Siberian shaman who was arrested a couple of days ago, and he looks exactly like he could be the brother of some of my good friends that are Native American people here on the West coast of the United States. There is strong DNA evidence and Anthropological and evidence in spritual practices that the Siberian people and Native American people are closely linked in many ways. I don’t know where you live in the USA but i would be happy to try to give you some advice about powwows you might like in your area if you email me. I understand how it feels to be uprooted from a place that your ancestors lived and where may have found your identity and so do almost all Native American peoples.

      Reply
      • mandala says

        September 24, 2019 at 7:05 am

        i guess there is no email link on screenname as i originally anticipated but im mandalarain@gmail.com

        i long to travel to siberia someday, and mongolia !

        Reply
  9. Jah says

    May 27, 2019 at 1:20 am

    I read a lot of your articles on this topic and I donโ€™t know how to feel because iโ€™m grateful I know was going on with me. I cried reading this because all the symptoms applied to me, but I knew about each symptom and donโ€™t know what to do exactly.

    Reply
    • Mateo Sol says

      May 27, 2019 at 10:27 am

      Thanks Jah, our whole website is aimed at exploring how to reconnect with our souls. The most accessible path is via Inner Work.

      Reply
      • Caleb says

        October 19, 2019 at 3:26 am

        If a person lose their soul and disconnect from the universe for real because they gave their mind the power.

        Does that mean the person can never reconnect to the universe?

        Reply
  10. Valerie says

    May 18, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    I feel that way and wad abused severely as a child. Can i ask you a question? Can it be possible for a alter to commit suicide? A while back i felt something die inside me. Im a Highly Senstive person and Empath as well.

    Reply
    • Mateo Sol says

      May 18, 2019 at 2:11 pm

      Thank you Valerie for the question. I don’t believe in the death of any internal alter, soul loss is losing access to parts of ourselves, not losing them altogether. Hence why it’s possible to use soul retrieval to reestablish connections.

      Reply
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