You feel lost in life. You’re sick of your job, your relationships are mediocre at best, your friendships are boring and empty, you feel dead inside, and you’ve lost the zest for life …
Can you relate to any of these feelings or experiences?
If you can, you might be going through an increasingly common experience known as the existential crisis. In other words, you’re at a crossroads in life: you’re feeling stuck, and you’re starting to crave a more meaningful existence.
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So, what’s the solution to this gnawing angst?
Soul searching.
You might have heard this term before but not given it much attention or importance. Am I right?
Well, I’m here today to point out that (1) you’ve arrived at this page for a reason, and (2) soul searching is a vital part of every life journey in this world.
In this article, my intention is to show you why and how.
Table of contents
What Does Soul Searching Mean? (Definition)
Simply put, soul searching is the quest to answer life’s problems and questions.
When most people refer to ‘soul searching,’ they are often talking about uncovering truth and happiness by questioning our thoughts, habits, and motivations. But soul searching also has a deeper meaning.
At its core, soul searching is a desire to return to the center of your being. Quite literally, it is a journey to find your Soul and reconnect with your True Nature. In other words, it is a spiritual path. And usually, it marks the beginning of the spiritual awakening journey.
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Why Soul Loss is the Root Cause of Soul Searching
Why do some of us have such an intense, visceral desire to soul search? To find what is meaningful, true, authentic, and deep?
The answer is soul loss.
When we are disconnected from our souls, we feel anxious, depressed, lonely, isolated, and chronically dissatisfied with life.
To overcome this pain, we need to reconnect with the deepest, rawest, most alive, and fundamental part of ourselves.
Indigenous and shamanic cultures for thousands of years have known about the phenomenon of soul loss, and it’s an increasing epidemic in our society.
In our age of technology, in a society run on materialistic ideals and egotism, we are becoming increasingly disconnected from the wild, raw, and primal Center of our being.
As teacher and author Gary Zukav writes:
We have not turned our attention to the needs of the soul. We have not considered what is required by the soul in order to be healthy. We have not studied the soul, or sought to help it attain what is necessary to its evolution and its health. Because we have been fivesensory, we have focused upon the body and the personality. We have developed an extensive knowledge of the physical apparatus that the soul assumes when it incarnates. We know of amino acids, neurotransmitters, chromosomes, and enzymes, but we do not know of the soul.
So, what exactly is soul loss?
As we explain in our soul loss article:
When we experience Soul Loss, a part of our Soul – or living essence – ‘hides’ or shuts away, hindering us from expressing and experiencing our true potential and wholeness as human beings. Often times entire aspects of our psyches are completely blocked out or repressed.
There are many causes of soul loss. Some of the common reasons are listed below:
- Childhood trauma (physical, emotional, mental, or sexual abuse; divorce; immigration; death in the family; abandonment, bullying, etc.)
- Adult trauma (job loss, poverty, rape, violence, divorce, mental health issues, isolation, accidents, death of loved ones, discrimination, etc.)
- Social conditioning
- Religious brainwashing
- Overuse of technology/entertainment (i.e., a form of numbing and escapism)
- Inherited ancestral trauma
- Materialism
- Scientific/reductionist values and structure of society
… and the list goes on.
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Essentially, anything that threatens our physical, mental, or emotional survival – and any addictive, one-sided, suppressive ideology or habit – causes soul loss.
As a result, most of us feel a nagging, looming feeling that something is wrong …
Something is missing. We’re not happy with ourselves or our lives, no matter how popular, successful, or attractive we are.
Something is always missing.
And what’s missing is the connection we have with our Soul, which is the doorway to our True Nature.
19 Signs You’re a Lost Soul
The truth is that most people in society are lost souls.
They don’t know about their deeper Self, aren’t interested in it, and have never dipped into the vast waters of their True Nature. Instead, they operate solely from the ego, the false self, that was constructed since childhood to defend against the overwhelming magnitude of Life.
Even when such people do begin to hear the longing of the soul to break free and be seen, they suppress it. They go back to the beliefs, habits, and structures in society that reinforce mindlessness and soullessness – because it’s easier, it’s less intimidating and less confronting.
But eventually, the longing becomes so intense that they have no choice but to listen. This is the beginning of the spiritual awakening process: the dismantling of the ego and the blossoming of our Soul, which longs to reunite with our True Nature as Spirit or Consciousness.
However, there’s an in-between place: a limbo. This is the space where lost souls dwell.
In this limbo, a dance between the old dissolving and the new not-yet-coming-into-being is deeply felt.
It’s at this point that we tend to feel stuck, lost, empty, alone, and scared. There is the temptation to go back to old ways of being, but at the same time, there’s a profound sense of dissatisfaction with everything.
If you’re stuck in this limbo, you might experience the following symptoms:
- You feel constantly lethargic and fatigued
- You have no motivation and feel restless
- You feel alone
- You feel unhappy with your life
- You crave something ‘more’
- You’ve become the outsider or the black sheep of the family
- You’re frequently irritable and moody
- You’re undergoing a mid-life or quarter-life crisis
- You’re more prone to addictions
- You struggle with self-loathing
- You keep trying to numb the pain, but nothing works
- You feel fundamentally ‘broken’
- You struggle with existential depression and anxiety
- You feel like something is missing inside of you
- You’re bored and dissatisfied with others and life
- You feel stuck and stranded
- You struggle with feeling empty inside
- You don’t know who you are anymore
- You want to know what the point of everything is
Can you relate?
If so, you’re certainly not alone.
Welcome to the Lost Souls Club. Motto: I can’t get no satisfaction.
Read more: 21 Signs You’re Experiencing “Soul Loss” »
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How to Practice Soul Searching (7 Paths)
It’s because we feel separate from oneness that we begin to search, the search for completion, the search to come home.
– Jeff Foster
It’s easy to soul search in the modern secularized sense of the term. All we need to do is introspect a little and ask ourselves some pointed questions. Traveling is often touted as a great way to soul search for young, bright-eyed seekers.
But soul searching, in the spiritual sense of the term, goes much deeper than just hopping on a plane to Bali. Nevertheless, to my knowledge, it is the most worthy and important pursuit in existence.
What could be more vital than connecting with your innate, fundamental, spiritual Essence?
If you’re seeking to answer questions about mundane issues (like what job will I suit, should I get married, etc.) then perhaps the below recommendations won’t satisfy you.
On the other hand, if you’re looking to dive deep, learn how to find yourself, how to be true to yourself, and open a door to your True Nature, keep reading:
1. Make friends with solitude
Solitude will be your greatest ally when it comes to soul searching.
You need to be a lone wolf. How else can you listen to the whispers of your soul in a chaotic, noisy world? It’s extremely difficult to go within unless you have undergone years of rigorous meditation training (which, mind you, most people haven’t).
So make regular time and space to spend time in solitude by yourself away from others – no technology interruptions either (digital people are still people)!
Think about dedicating ten minutes to half an hour (or more) each day to a solitary activity of your choice. You might choose something passive, such as meditation, or active, such as taking a stroll through the woods. Honor your level of energy and go with it.
2. Explore the nature of your ego
If your soul is your true individuated essence, your ego is your false self: it’s the mask you present to the world.
Your ego is much like a cloud. It appears to have form, but it changes and morphs constantly.
Question: have you ever noticed that you put on different roles with different people? Yep. That’s your ego in action – it’s not solid, and essentially, it’s a misrepresentation of who you really are.
Unfortunately, our ego genuinely believes it is who we really are. Because it’s so convinced that it’s real, it will reject any attempt to dismantle it because it perceives that as a death threat. And so, growth of any kind is extremely difficult because the ego is always trying to protect itself.
As we can see, exploring the nature of your ego (and learning to see through it gently) is a crucial step in your soul searching journey. In fact, it’s the single biggest block to embodying who you really are.
To explore the nature of the ego, we need a combination of inner work and soul work. Inner work deals with the dissolving of blockages in our psyches, while soul work is the practice of surrendering to the Divine.
Some ways to explore your ego that combine inner work and soul work include:
- Journaling – writing down your thoughts, self-beliefs, habits, likes, dislikes, and so on
- Self-inquiry – looking within and asking “Who am I?” and seeing what changes, fades, or dies (these are your ego elements); paradoxically, we discover who we are by seeing who we are not.
- Various forms of spiritual meditation – there are so many ways to learn how to witness your thoughts and the stories constructed by the mind – one of the most common types is vipassana meditation
These three simple practices can have a tremendous impact on your ability to see clearly and experience the truth of who you really are.
3. Reconnect with your child self
As author and psychotherapist Dr. Neal Marshall Goldsmith writes:
The soul … is this part of us that is the earliest, deepest, and the most authentic part of us.
Your inner child carries the original qualities of your soul that you were born with. And thankfully, it’s not that difficult to reconnect with your inner child.
I’ve written a lot about inner child work on this website in the past, but to summarize, here are a few ways to tap into your childhood self:
- Write a letter to your inner child
- Do an inner child visualization or meditation (here are some free inner child healing affirmations we’ve created and shared on YouTube)
- Look at pictures of your inner child
- Do something your inner child loved to do when you were little
- Start each morning with an inner child journaling practice (see our highly rated Inner Child Journal for in-depth guidance!)
Approach these activities gently. Make observations about your younger self and what they want or need from you. Also, reflect on the you now and the you then. What qualities from your inner child can you integrate more into your life?
4. Reflect, introspect, and visualize
Soul searching is an inner adventure. Therefore, the practices and steps you take toward finding your inner Center will often require reflection and introspection.
Additionally, visualization enhances these two qualities and helps you to retrieve knowledge and guidance through the power of imagination.
Poet and philosopher Mark Nepo shares a beautiful visualization in his book The Book of Awakening:
Close your eyes and breathe your way beneath your troubles, the way a diver slips to that depth of stillness that is always waiting beneath the churning of the waves.
Now, consider two things you love doing, such as running, drawing, singing, bird-watching, gardening, or reading.
Meditate on what it is in each of these that makes you feel alive.
Hold what they have in common before you, and breathing slowly, feel the spot of grace these dear things mirror within you.
This example of reflection, introspection, and visualization is perfect for soul searching as it gets you in touch with your basic aliveness: the essence of your soul.
You can listen to or create any visualization that appeals to you; just make sure it’s soul-directed.
5. Connect with nature and the wildness within you
Nature is tremendously healing and revivifying to the human soul.
We often think of ourselves as separate from nature. We’re human and “above” nature, after all, right? Wrong. We’re an inseparable part of nature. Our blood, bones, hair, skin, and entrails are all stuff of the earth: animalistic, carnal, and corporeal.
Despite centuries of domestication, the human soul still retains its innate, fundamentally wild nature.
We are not wild in the sense of ‘uncontrollable’ or ‘feral,’ but wild in the sense that the Center of our being can’t fully be tamed: it is essentially free. We are, at our core, all free spirits. We see this in moments of heroism, in the primal screams of childbirth, in the grunts of lovemaking, and in the belly-deep laughs of mirth.
To get in touch with our basic wildness, our inner wolf, is to unite with a fundamental quality of the soul – and that can easily be rediscovered in the domain of nature.
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$3It’s not difficult or taxing to reconnect with nature. All it requires is just a couple of minutes a day outside, mindfully observing the trees, the animals, the clouds, and the sun rays beaming through the clouds. If you’re lucky enough to live close to a natural reserve, you might like to practice the Japanese art of Forest Bathing or take a blanket and have a picnic.
If you’re in the city, there’s still the opportunity to connect with nature. Go to the local park, listen to sounds of nature on your phone, or buy a potted plant. When your heart is open, there are endless ways for nature to creep, dig, weave, and sprout its way into your life.
6. Ask some soul searching questions
Questions are simple and direct ways of finding your personal truth. And living truthfully is living authentically: it is respecting the nature of your own soul.
Some questions you might like to ask during your soul searching journey might include the following:
- Who am I?
- What do I want in life?
- What is the meaning of life?
- What is my true purpose?
- What is authentic within me?
- What is inauthentic within me?
- What does happiness mean to me?
- What would truly fulfill me?
- Where is my ego an obstacle?
- What is a soul quality of mine?
- What legacy do I want to leave?
These are only a few examples of soul searching questions, so feel free to create and ask your own.
If you need more guidance on journaling as a beginner, see my free guide on how to journal (there are 19 essential tips, so be sure to check them out!).
7. Find your soul space and place
Sound confusing? I’ll explain.
A soul place is a physical location that deeply calls to you: it speaks to your soul. You might feel a sense of nostalgic longing for this place or a sense of deep resonance and almost mystical significance.
Soul places can be mundane areas (such as your backyard), untouched areas (such as a place in the wilderness), or holy sites (such as Stonehenge, Uluru, Notre Dame Cathedral, etc.).
You will feel a sense of expansion in these places, deep peace, and like you have finally ‘found home.’ What happens when you feel this way is that you’ve found an external representation of the inner heaven within you. That’s why soul places touch us so deeply.
Your soul space (as opposed to a soul place), on the other hand, is an inner experience of your True Nature. We often inhabit our soul spaces in moments of prayer, contemplation, altered states of consciousness, and deep meditation.
As Mark Nepo writes,
Each person is born with an unencumbered spot—free of expectation and regret, free of ambition and embarrassment, free of fear and worry—an umbilical spot of grace where we were each first touched by God. It is this spot of grace that issues peace. Psychologists call this spot the Psyche, theologians call it the Soul, Jung calls it the Seat of the Unconscious, Hindu masters call it Atman, Buddhists call it Dharma, Rilke calls it Inwardness, Sufis call it Qalb, and Jesus calls it the Center of our Love. To know this spot of Inwardness is to know who we are, not by surface markers of identity, not by where we work or what we wear or how we like to be addressed, but by feeling our place in relation to the Infinite and by inhabiting it.
To inhabit this soul space, we need to break through the barriers of the ego through various methods of inner work – that is the doing side of things. The other side is being: we need a practice that helps us to cultivate inner stillness and silence (found through the practice of soul work). And the best method I know of for experiencing this state is meditation.
Therefore, I recommend practicing meditation (or dwelling in your soul place) regularly as you discover your soul space in this world – one enhances the other in an electric sort of way.
A few deep meditations you can experiment with include using a mantra such as “I Am,” using the self-inquiry method of “Who am I?” or practicing open awareness where you allow all sounds, sensations, and thoughts to rise and fall like waves in the ocean.
I am the drop that contains the sea.
How beautiful to be an ocean
hidden within an infinite drop.
– Yunus Emre
***
To soul search is to be fully human and to embark on the greatest journey that life offers us: the spiritual quest.
I hope this article and the guidance I’ve offered have inspired you to dive deeper and reunite with the Essence of your deeper Self.
In conclusion, I’ll leave you with a beautiful soul searching quote by poet and novelist Herman Hesse:
All births mean separation from the All, the confinement within limitation, the separation from God, the pangs of being born ever anew. The return into the All, the dissolution of painful individuation, the reunion with God means the expansion of the soul until it is able once more to embrace the All.
Tell me: what difficulties have you faced on your soul searching journey? What triumphs? I’d love to hear from you below.
***
To go deeper into your soul searching path, see our essential guide on the Spiritual Journey »
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2. Shadow & Light Membership: Seeking ongoing support for your spiritual journey? Receive weekly intuitive guidance and learn to embrace your whole self, including your shadow side. Deepen your self-love and receive personal support from us.
3. Spiritual Awakening Bundle: Ready to soul search and dive deep? Access our complete "essentials" collection of beloved journals and eBooks. Includes five enlightening eBooks and seven guided journals, plus two special bonuses to further illuminate your path.
Im also 19 and recently I was extremely connected to myself, my purpose in life, and nature. I was actually able to recognize the beauty in things, truly feel the sun, and give love to myself and others. All of a sudden everything changed trying to balance being free, going to school, and mental health in such a fabricated society. It seems like i’ve lost my place in the world. I do not feel anything anymore. The sun doesn’t shine the same, water is no longer holy, and love is a mere thought. I consider myself a writer and in order to write I need to feel. I have avoided emotion and feelings for a while now so I often feel empty, anxious, and suffocated everyday. I want to feel alive again.
I’m 19, I have been lost for 6 years and I’ve been soul searching for the the last six years . When my uncle killed his self I thought I was gonna kill myself and almost did. So the last six years has been rough. But I keep fighting threw it. I started writing my own music and went to Nashville and played to coop. Then I started feeling numb like I was immune to pain. I still have suicidal thoughts sometimes. But I found myself being Gypsy. And lonerwolf has helped me. I started to have addiction. Then I went to rehab. I started to love nature. And letting the wind make my path. I go out into the rain, snow, sleet, just to go to the forest. I feel like something is calling me there. I’m just a free bird in this life.
Thank you for sharing and for your vulnerability Abby. It takes a lot of strength to get through what you’ve experienced ♡ May you walk your true path, a path with Soul!
Thank you Luna
Hi! I have been mentally aware of my soul for about 5 years. My childhood was very traumatic and to be honest it didn’t get much better as I became an adult. Because of that I feel very disconnected from myself most of the time. I am anxious and depressed, ungrounded, living in fear. I used substances, sex, the internet, sleep, etc. to try to escape my repressed emotions. A little over 2 years ago some traumatic things happened in my family life. My mother and brother struggle with dangerous addictions and it is hard not to live in a constant state of fear, dread, and apathy for the mundane aspects of “life.” Anyway, after 2 years of drinking away every day and wanting to just die… I decided to sign up for an innerwork program that brought so much self-awareness. I uncovered much about myself I never knew. So now… I am like sort stuck in limbo. I understand a lot of the process, conceptually. But I am so disconnected from my body and breath. My nervous system is always in fight/flight mode. My mind constantly races. I struggle to meditate. I can get a couple minutes in sometimes but it always feels shallow and forced. I hardly feel relaxed or peaceful. It’s more like a struggle. every day has become a struggle with my mind and it’s sort of getting really annoying. I know I still have so much more inner work to do as well as body-work and soul work. But sometimes I just feel like I don’t even wanna bother anymore. The wounds, beliefs, shadows, subconscious patterns, etc. are not only deeply ingrained and painful to even think about… but there are so… many! So I experimented a bit with listening to kundalini awakening and pineal gland opening sounds on YouTube. I usually just listen to healing frequencies but I was like sure I’ll try it but I have so much healing to do I doubt anything would happen. I believe I went into the either one a hypnagogic state or something but it happened as I fell asleep and I had to jolt myself awake but I could see faces and hear music and feel vibrations on my body. im not sure what state of consciousness it was or if it was some sort of channel? I don’t quite understand but I do know that being in limbo between soul and ego is super depressing and inner work is hard enough without all the depression and lack of will to really be here. What should I do?
I am 21 years old and not we’re I want to be in life honestly. I know they say don’t compare your life to others but with social media nowadays it’s hard not to. I dedicated my whole life to the sport of basketball. To the point that growing up I didn’t have any friends really. I would spend every day in the gym for count less hours playing the game I love. I wasn’t hanging with friends like most people my age would. When I was 17-18 I went through a real hard time in my life. I lost someone really close to me that I loved. Which drove me to depression. Girls were always something I cared about and during this time I was in a very toxic relationship. I was getting cheated on but I loved this girl so I ignored it. Now that I’m older and growing through the young adult phase. I can’t come to an agreement on how I’m feeling about life. I tend to question myself what is the meaning of this thing we call Life. I had dreams growing up and e en though I worked so hard I didn’t accomplish some of them. Girls and basketball is what literally drives me I guess I would say. But I can never get the girls I want and haven’t gotten the success I deserve in basketball. I just can’t figure out what my purpose in life is yet. I just want to be happy but I don’t what will be that thing that does make me happy.
Hey Anthony,
Thanks for reaching out brother. I hear you and I can see how what you’ve experienced can be demoralizing. I hope something in this article has helped or inspired you to find a way forward. Often what we think is an obstacle is actually a great lesson, a path forward, a helper in disguise. May you find all that you’re looking for. <3
Dear Luna and Sol, it’s been a while to me that I am being fans of your works. Recently, I am into soul searching after facing soul loss and dark night of soul. However, I am still confuse to continue my step-do I still experiencing soul loss or maybe it already lead me to soul searching. Hopefully you can still write about soul searching. I am delighted to receive the updates over the e-mail (yes, I am as well already subscribe your e-mail digest). Thank you :)
Thank you Bramantyo! It’s great to hear from you. And yes, we both plan to write and mention more about soul searching in the future. :)
Great topic! I love reading your articles and insight. My question pertains to Inner Child work. You suggest remembering back to what brought you joy as a child. What if you are unable to remember the joy and innocence when you were a child because you’ve experienced sexual abuse from the earliest childhood memories? How do you remember such a feeling that may not have ever been felt? Understanding I have a lot of Inner Child work to do, but knowing I’ve been and probably will be working through this step throughout my life.
That’s the thing about me. I’ve been doing everything above for several years, and still something is missing. A lot has improved, mind you, but something is missing. I’m not exactly anxious, depressed or any type of strong negative emotion anymore, but at the same time, I don’t feel strong positive emotions as much. I just feel . . . empty.
What was I like as a kid that I could learn from? I feel like it would not be seen as a “deep” childhood due to the Gen Z influences, because hell, how many times have I experienced boomers making fun of us anyway?
But it’s worth the try. When I was a kid, I loved playing in the playground. I was still short enough to climb through the monkey bars. I loved playing those dumb video games, instead of the more adult video games I often do. I seem to get this societal pressure that adults enjoy darker and more intellectual series, and honestly I really do, but part of myself just wants a break playing optimistic Mario Kart without having a game that has to make me worry about the end of the world.
It’s something I’m always irritated with that many older adults don’t see when being attached to video games — a lot of these games have a nostalgic sentimental depth to our childhoods that a lot of older adults don’t realize. It is an art form — from the animation, to the music, to the engaging story and through the unique mechanics of the game. I remember that sentimental song, “The Song of Healing,” from a legend of zelda game, deeply haunting, sad, and hopeful at the same time. Those are the types of emotions we can feel from a game, but honestly, it feels like all those technological pleasures I’ve went through all my childhood life is looked down upon. I remember watching this docuseries on Netflix, “The Toys that Made Us,” and how all those TV shows as well as toys impacted us growing up. How Star Trek toys encouraged so many future engineers and scientists to really want to explore other planets. How Power Rangers allowed people to bond together with their own families while watching and playing in the encouragement of being a hero for good. How My Little Pony encouraged little girls and not to mention a lot of the adults who watch the show (Eg. “Bronies”, male MLP fans) to have a girly show where the girls aren’t sweet and sugary all the time, but can be tough or smart, as their personalities can be. It’s a documentary series about toys at front, but it’s so much deeper than that — it’s a show how modern play impacts our ways of seeing the world.
I don’t know, I just miss that. Today, I make myself do difficult things regularly to “challenge” myself. But really, I wish I can just turn off my brain somewhat, and still have fun. I overthink every single step on whether a form of play sounds more “spiritual” than others, but modern play is my own type of spirituality now, if you ask me.
I don’t know. I just . . . I know how to work hard. But I just. . . I forgot what it’s like to be lazy, to not be going after some kind of profound goal at the time. My life always has to have to go for a direction. As a kid, I always had fun in just being lost in all these little games in the playground and in game consoles.
I just don’t know how to do that anymore.
I just recently watched Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things on Netflix. I am rethinking my life and life in general, for the best. I think it would help you, also.
I am awake and struggling . I seem to have an extra symptom on here I have not heard yet. The symptoms I have are everyone that has been outlined on here except I am being followed by beings that I cannot identify totally. I know it sounds insane but it’s the truth and they are making my life very difficult. Just wondering if anyone else has this issue if so can you tell me what these beings want with me I’m under constant surveillance by them and they just follow me and observe me and psychologically do things to me.
Thank you for another beautiful article. I am going through Dark Night of the Soul, Existential Crisis, grief, depression all rolled up together. I recently retired, moved from the city that was home for 30 years (Vancouver), left my relationship of 13 years and moved 400 miles away to the country. I am HSP/empath and took on all the emotional overload from my relationship, all his financial problems. I was completely burned out and depressed from my job and relationship so I knew I had to leave. It took a long time to get it all together to actually make the move as everything overwhelms me and this was major. Then also many months to get re-settled, unpack and then do a lot of yard work this summer. My ex is already in a new relationship. Now I finally have free time and all of a sudden I am in a total state of grief, Dark Night, existential crisis that I was not in while I was dealing with everything. Now I am also second guessing my decision to move because I miss my friends, living by the ocean, I even miss my dysfunctional relationship and I feel completely lost and directionless. All the time while I was working full time I did many creative projects on the side to keep my sanity and now that I have finally got the time I am unmotivated. I meditate a lot more, do yoga and work out, journal, read but can’t find any creative energy. And I’ve been crying and screaming since the end of July, screaming into a pillow or in my car. I am completely lost.
Keep goingI had a different journey to you, but am in a similar place. I am transitioning into my older years, and cannot find my purpose. I am in grief from nursing both my parents through their death. I am trapped in a house too large, it will not sell, and takes up all my energy when all I want to do is move to a simpler way of being. I am exhausted with trying to get to a simpler pared down life. And then six months ago,I fell off a roof, and broke a vertabrae in my back. Recently while having an energy body massage, I realised that I felt like a salmon, or trout, as they struggle and swim against the current of the river, they thrash over rocks, leap over flashing water, all in a determination to get to their spawning grounds. So this is what I think this phase of my life is about, struggling against the current, knowing that I will arrive where I am meant to be, so I will keep meditating, yin yoga, journeling, walking walking walking, heal my back, be kind to others, see to the demands of this house, keep going forward with selling it, with utter faith that I will arrive. Also knowing I am not lone in this sprirtual quest.
I have for some time thought I am experiencing some sort of “breakdown” but don’t care much for the labels of depression or anxiety so the finding of the existential crisis /shadow work/soul loss is something I would love to explore…however… My next huge crisis is in full swing right now and I have no idea how to save myself