You feel lost in life. You’re sick of your job, your relationships are mediocre at best, your friendships are boring and empty, you feel dead inside, and you’ve lost the zest for life …
Can you relate to any of these feelings or experiences?
If you can, you might be going through an increasingly common experience known as the existential crisis. In other words, you’re at a crossroads in life: you’re feeling stuck, and you’re starting to crave a more meaningful existence.
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So, what’s the solution to this gnawing angst?
Soul searching.
You might have heard this term before but not given it much attention or importance. Am I right?
Well, I’m here today to point out that (1) you’ve arrived at this page for a reason, and (2) soul searching is a vital part of every life journey in this world.
In this article, my intention is to show you why and how.
Table of contents
What Does Soul Searching Mean? (Definition)
Simply put, soul searching is the quest to answer life’s problems and questions.
When most people refer to ‘soul searching,’ they are often talking about uncovering truth and happiness by questioning our thoughts, habits, and motivations. But soul searching also has a deeper meaning.
At its core, soul searching is a desire to return to the center of your being. Quite literally, it is a journey to find your Soul and reconnect with your True Nature. In other words, it is a spiritual path. And usually, it marks the beginning of the spiritual awakening journey.
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Why Soul Loss is the Root Cause of Soul Searching
Why do some of us have such an intense, visceral desire to soul search? To find what is meaningful, true, authentic, and deep?
The answer is soul loss.
When we are disconnected from our souls, we feel anxious, depressed, lonely, isolated, and chronically dissatisfied with life.
To overcome this pain, we need to reconnect with the deepest, rawest, most alive, and fundamental part of ourselves.
Indigenous and shamanic cultures for thousands of years have known about the phenomenon of soul loss, and it’s an increasing epidemic in our society.
In our age of technology, in a society run on materialistic ideals and egotism, we are becoming increasingly disconnected from the wild, raw, and primal Center of our being.
As teacher and author Gary Zukav writes:
We have not turned our attention to the needs of the soul. We have not considered what is required by the soul in order to be healthy. We have not studied the soul, or sought to help it attain what is necessary to its evolution and its health. Because we have been fivesensory, we have focused upon the body and the personality. We have developed an extensive knowledge of the physical apparatus that the soul assumes when it incarnates. We know of amino acids, neurotransmitters, chromosomes, and enzymes, but we do not know of the soul.
So, what exactly is soul loss?
As we explain in our soul loss article:
When we experience Soul Loss, a part of our Soul – or living essence – ‘hides’ or shuts away, hindering us from expressing and experiencing our true potential and wholeness as human beings. Often times entire aspects of our psyches are completely blocked out or repressed.
There are many causes of soul loss. Some of the common reasons are listed below:
- Childhood trauma (physical, emotional, mental, or sexual abuse; divorce; immigration; death in the family; abandonment, bullying, etc.)
- Adult trauma (job loss, poverty, rape, violence, divorce, mental health issues, isolation, accidents, death of loved ones, discrimination, etc.)
- Social conditioning
- Religious brainwashing
- Overuse of technology/entertainment (i.e., a form of numbing and escapism)
- Inherited ancestral trauma
- Materialism
- Scientific/reductionist values and structure of society
… and the list goes on.
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Essentially, anything that threatens our physical, mental, or emotional survival – and any addictive, one-sided, suppressive ideology or habit – causes soul loss.
As a result, most of us feel a nagging, looming feeling that something is wrong …
Something is missing. We’re not happy with ourselves or our lives, no matter how popular, successful, or attractive we are.
Something is always missing.
And what’s missing is the connection we have with our Soul, which is the doorway to our True Nature.
19 Signs You’re a Lost Soul
The truth is that most people in society are lost souls.
They don’t know about their deeper Self, aren’t interested in it, and have never dipped into the vast waters of their True Nature. Instead, they operate solely from the ego, the false self, that was constructed since childhood to defend against the overwhelming magnitude of Life.
Even when such people do begin to hear the longing of the soul to break free and be seen, they suppress it. They go back to the beliefs, habits, and structures in society that reinforce mindlessness and soullessness – because it’s easier, it’s less intimidating and less confronting.
But eventually, the longing becomes so intense that they have no choice but to listen. This is the beginning of the spiritual awakening process: the dismantling of the ego and the blossoming of our Soul, which longs to reunite with our True Nature as Spirit or Consciousness.
However, there’s an in-between place: a limbo. This is the space where lost souls dwell.
In this limbo, a dance between the old dissolving and the new not-yet-coming-into-being is deeply felt.
It’s at this point that we tend to feel stuck, lost, empty, alone, and scared. There is the temptation to go back to old ways of being, but at the same time, there’s a profound sense of dissatisfaction with everything.
If you’re stuck in this limbo, you might experience the following symptoms:
- You feel constantly lethargic and fatigued
- You have no motivation and feel restless
- You feel alone
- You feel unhappy with your life
- You crave something ‘more’
- You’ve become the outsider or the black sheep of the family
- You’re frequently irritable and moody
- You’re undergoing a mid-life or quarter-life crisis
- You’re more prone to addictions
- You struggle with self-loathing
- You keep trying to numb the pain, but nothing works
- You feel fundamentally ‘broken’
- You struggle with existential depression and anxiety
- You feel like something is missing inside of you
- You’re bored and dissatisfied with others and life
- You feel stuck and stranded
- You struggle with feeling empty inside
- You don’t know who you are anymore
- You want to know what the point of everything is
Can you relate?
If so, you’re certainly not alone.
Welcome to the Lost Souls Club. Motto: I can’t get no satisfaction.
Read more: 21 Signs You’re Experiencing “Soul Loss” »
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How to Practice Soul Searching (7 Paths)
It’s because we feel separate from oneness that we begin to search, the search for completion, the search to come home.
– Jeff Foster
It’s easy to soul search in the modern secularized sense of the term. All we need to do is introspect a little and ask ourselves some pointed questions. Traveling is often touted as a great way to soul search for young, bright-eyed seekers.
But soul searching, in the spiritual sense of the term, goes much deeper than just hopping on a plane to Bali. Nevertheless, to my knowledge, it is the most worthy and important pursuit in existence.
What could be more vital than connecting with your innate, fundamental, spiritual Essence?
If you’re seeking to answer questions about mundane issues (like what job will I suit, should I get married, etc.) then perhaps the below recommendations won’t satisfy you.
On the other hand, if you’re looking to dive deep, learn how to find yourself, how to be true to yourself, and open a door to your True Nature, keep reading:
1. Make friends with solitude
Solitude will be your greatest ally when it comes to soul searching.
You need to be a lone wolf. How else can you listen to the whispers of your soul in a chaotic, noisy world? It’s extremely difficult to go within unless you have undergone years of rigorous meditation training (which, mind you, most people haven’t).
So make regular time and space to spend time in solitude by yourself away from others – no technology interruptions either (digital people are still people)!
Think about dedicating ten minutes to half an hour (or more) each day to a solitary activity of your choice. You might choose something passive, such as meditation, or active, such as taking a stroll through the woods. Honor your level of energy and go with it.
2. Explore the nature of your ego
If your soul is your true individuated essence, your ego is your false self: it’s the mask you present to the world.
Your ego is much like a cloud. It appears to have form, but it changes and morphs constantly.
Question: have you ever noticed that you put on different roles with different people? Yep. That’s your ego in action – it’s not solid, and essentially, it’s a misrepresentation of who you really are.
Unfortunately, our ego genuinely believes it is who we really are. Because it’s so convinced that it’s real, it will reject any attempt to dismantle it because it perceives that as a death threat. And so, growth of any kind is extremely difficult because the ego is always trying to protect itself.
As we can see, exploring the nature of your ego (and learning to see through it gently) is a crucial step in your soul searching journey. In fact, it’s the single biggest block to embodying who you really are.
To explore the nature of the ego, we need a combination of inner work and soul work. Inner work deals with the dissolving of blockages in our psyches, while soul work is the practice of surrendering to the Divine.
Some ways to explore your ego that combine inner work and soul work include:
- Journaling – writing down your thoughts, self-beliefs, habits, likes, dislikes, and so on
- Self-inquiry – looking within and asking “Who am I?” and seeing what changes, fades, or dies (these are your ego elements); paradoxically, we discover who we are by seeing who we are not.
- Various forms of spiritual meditation – there are so many ways to learn how to witness your thoughts and the stories constructed by the mind – one of the most common types is vipassana meditation
These three simple practices can have a tremendous impact on your ability to see clearly and experience the truth of who you really are.
3. Reconnect with your child self
As author and psychotherapist Dr. Neal Marshall Goldsmith writes:
The soul … is this part of us that is the earliest, deepest, and the most authentic part of us.
Your inner child carries the original qualities of your soul that you were born with. And thankfully, it’s not that difficult to reconnect with your inner child.
I’ve written a lot about inner child work on this website in the past, but to summarize, here are a few ways to tap into your childhood self:
- Write a letter to your inner child
- Do an inner child visualization or meditation (here are some free inner child healing affirmations we’ve created and shared on YouTube)
- Look at pictures of your inner child
- Do something your inner child loved to do when you were little
- Start each morning with an inner child journaling practice (see our highly rated Inner Child Journal for in-depth guidance!)
Approach these activities gently. Make observations about your younger self and what they want or need from you. Also, reflect on the you now and the you then. What qualities from your inner child can you integrate more into your life?
4. Reflect, introspect, and visualize
Soul searching is an inner adventure. Therefore, the practices and steps you take toward finding your inner Center will often require reflection and introspection.
Additionally, visualization enhances these two qualities and helps you to retrieve knowledge and guidance through the power of imagination.
Poet and philosopher Mark Nepo shares a beautiful visualization in his book The Book of Awakening:
Close your eyes and breathe your way beneath your troubles, the way a diver slips to that depth of stillness that is always waiting beneath the churning of the waves.
Now, consider two things you love doing, such as running, drawing, singing, bird-watching, gardening, or reading.
Meditate on what it is in each of these that makes you feel alive.
Hold what they have in common before you, and breathing slowly, feel the spot of grace these dear things mirror within you.
This example of reflection, introspection, and visualization is perfect for soul searching as it gets you in touch with your basic aliveness: the essence of your soul.
You can listen to or create any visualization that appeals to you; just make sure it’s soul-directed.
5. Connect with nature and the wildness within you
Nature is tremendously healing and revivifying to the human soul.
We often think of ourselves as separate from nature. We’re human and “above” nature, after all, right? Wrong. We’re an inseparable part of nature. Our blood, bones, hair, skin, and entrails are all stuff of the earth: animalistic, carnal, and corporeal.
Despite centuries of domestication, the human soul still retains its innate, fundamentally wild nature.
We are not wild in the sense of ‘uncontrollable’ or ‘feral,’ but wild in the sense that the Center of our being can’t fully be tamed: it is essentially free. We are, at our core, all free spirits. We see this in moments of heroism, in the primal screams of childbirth, in the grunts of lovemaking, and in the belly-deep laughs of mirth.
To get in touch with our basic wildness, our inner wolf, is to unite with a fundamental quality of the soul – and that can easily be rediscovered in the domain of nature.
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$3It’s not difficult or taxing to reconnect with nature. All it requires is just a couple of minutes a day outside, mindfully observing the trees, the animals, the clouds, and the sun rays beaming through the clouds. If you’re lucky enough to live close to a natural reserve, you might like to practice the Japanese art of Forest Bathing or take a blanket and have a picnic.
If you’re in the city, there’s still the opportunity to connect with nature. Go to the local park, listen to sounds of nature on your phone, or buy a potted plant. When your heart is open, there are endless ways for nature to creep, dig, weave, and sprout its way into your life.
6. Ask some soul searching questions
Questions are simple and direct ways of finding your personal truth. And living truthfully is living authentically: it is respecting the nature of your own soul.
Some questions you might like to ask during your soul searching journey might include the following:
- Who am I?
- What do I want in life?
- What is the meaning of life?
- What is my true purpose?
- What is authentic within me?
- What is inauthentic within me?
- What does happiness mean to me?
- What would truly fulfill me?
- Where is my ego an obstacle?
- What is a soul quality of mine?
- What legacy do I want to leave?
These are only a few examples of soul searching questions, so feel free to create and ask your own.
If you need more guidance on journaling as a beginner, see my free guide on how to journal (there are 19 essential tips, so be sure to check them out!).
7. Find your soul space and place
Sound confusing? I’ll explain.
A soul place is a physical location that deeply calls to you: it speaks to your soul. You might feel a sense of nostalgic longing for this place or a sense of deep resonance and almost mystical significance.
Soul places can be mundane areas (such as your backyard), untouched areas (such as a place in the wilderness), or holy sites (such as Stonehenge, Uluru, Notre Dame Cathedral, etc.).
You will feel a sense of expansion in these places, deep peace, and like you have finally ‘found home.’ What happens when you feel this way is that you’ve found an external representation of the inner heaven within you. That’s why soul places touch us so deeply.
Your soul space (as opposed to a soul place), on the other hand, is an inner experience of your True Nature. We often inhabit our soul spaces in moments of prayer, contemplation, altered states of consciousness, and deep meditation.
As Mark Nepo writes,
Each person is born with an unencumbered spot—free of expectation and regret, free of ambition and embarrassment, free of fear and worry—an umbilical spot of grace where we were each first touched by God. It is this spot of grace that issues peace. Psychologists call this spot the Psyche, theologians call it the Soul, Jung calls it the Seat of the Unconscious, Hindu masters call it Atman, Buddhists call it Dharma, Rilke calls it Inwardness, Sufis call it Qalb, and Jesus calls it the Center of our Love. To know this spot of Inwardness is to know who we are, not by surface markers of identity, not by where we work or what we wear or how we like to be addressed, but by feeling our place in relation to the Infinite and by inhabiting it.
To inhabit this soul space, we need to break through the barriers of the ego through various methods of inner work – that is the doing side of things. The other side is being: we need a practice that helps us to cultivate inner stillness and silence (found through the practice of soul work). And the best method I know of for experiencing this state is meditation.
Therefore, I recommend practicing meditation (or dwelling in your soul place) regularly as you discover your soul space in this world – one enhances the other in an electric sort of way.
A few deep meditations you can experiment with include using a mantra such as “I Am,” using the self-inquiry method of “Who am I?” or practicing open awareness where you allow all sounds, sensations, and thoughts to rise and fall like waves in the ocean.
I am the drop that contains the sea.
How beautiful to be an ocean
hidden within an infinite drop.
– Yunus Emre
***
To soul search is to be fully human and to embark on the greatest journey that life offers us: the spiritual quest.
I hope this article and the guidance I’ve offered have inspired you to dive deeper and reunite with the Essence of your deeper Self.
In conclusion, I’ll leave you with a beautiful soul searching quote by poet and novelist Herman Hesse:
All births mean separation from the All, the confinement within limitation, the separation from God, the pangs of being born ever anew. The return into the All, the dissolution of painful individuation, the reunion with God means the expansion of the soul until it is able once more to embrace the All.
Tell me: what difficulties have you faced on your soul searching journey? What triumphs? I’d love to hear from you below.
***
To go deeper into your soul searching path, see our essential guide on the Spiritual Journey »
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I ask myself questions and have no answers. I have no idea who I am, what I want or where I want to be.
I stay home with my dogs and question why.
I want to sleep but I’m not tired. I want answers but don’t know how to find them.
I’m tired, sore and exhausted
I ask myself questions and have no answers. I have no idea who I am, what I want or where I want to be.
I stay home with my dogs and question why.
I want to sleep but I’m not tired. I want answers but don’t know how to find them.
I’m tired, sore and exhausted
Just found out your website this morning and it’s exactly what I need right now! It’s the first time I encounter someone who describes all the stages of a spiritual journey so profoundly, I can easily identify on which stage I am right now and where I have already been. I also loved the article about Jungian Alchemy, it’s so eye-opening and deep. Thank you for your work, I’ll keep exploring! And I’m really interested if you have any resources about how to step on the path of materially integrating your purpose when you already know it and feel it. Thank you!
Thank you Valentina, it’s lovely hearing that :)
I discovered that I am at the verge of breaking down. I yearn to reach me whom I feel was slipping slowly in my hands, but now I know where to find me. Yearning is no longer unbearable, but possible.
Hello again. I find myself coming back to this website again and again, but the practice happening away from the computer screen is scarce and my heart isn’t in it. I have some of your journals and books as well, and they haven’t been read or written in much. I know fear is one part of what’s blocking me, as is expected, but I also struggle with a strong sense of hopelessness; in other words, “Why bother?”. Not only that, but I struggle with the idea of a soul because I rely heavily on facts and proof and sound, solid evidence for my decisions. I find myself increasingly skeptical of the idea of a soul or any of this “spiritual stuff” because none of it can be proven, not with the scientific method at least. Do you have any advice or resources that can point someone like me in the right direction?
Thanks Kayl for sharing your thoughts.
I think it’s good that the practices happen away from the computer, anything that has captures your attention easily like the internet can make it harder to practice any form of inner work in a deeper way.
Sometimes some of our books and journals are postponed because we’re hesitant to what we may find while doing such inner work, some part of us knows there’s something there to be acknowledged but we’d rather not. In these cases, it’s better to work with in-person guides, counsellors, or groups that can support us.
I think the ‘idea of the soul’ as you put it is a loaded concept because every person has their own ideas of the soul depending on their upbringing (i.e: Judeo-Christians see it as some non-material version of us that lives on.) We view it more as a process of ’embodying ourselves fully’, you can explore that more here: https://lonerwolf.com/ensoulment/
As for scientific proof, science has its place in working with the material world, but it can’t answer questions beyond that. What exists beyond the human senses that are used in science (touch, sight, logical thinking etc..)? This world outside of the ‘phonomena’ world of science is what philosophers have explored for thousands of years as the ‘numinous’. It’s beyond the mental faculties so it can’t be studied under a microscope.
I hope that helps clarify things.
I just found this site like 2 if not 3 days ago and I’d like to say this is amazing, I love it, Thank you, you have no idea how the world needs the world you do.
My message was not posted? Personally, I thought it was appropriate, but I respect it if you think otherwise. I really appreciate your site. It helps me in the spiritual awakening. In my dreams I get images through. Then I look for information. My experience is that I gradually end up on the right path. If you don’t post my posts for a reason, that’s a sign to me that this isn’t the right way to go, so thank you for that. I hereby let you know that I have also posted messages under “Spiritual awakening: 23 important signs + symptoms”. You may also want to remove it? I respect that too, which is why I’m pointing this out to you. Nicole
Hey Nicole,
Thank you for sharing. Your message was posted, it was just delayed due to it begin in a Foreign language the spam filters held it for moderation.
I think what we call ‘home’, or Source as you put it, is something we intuitively feel is there. But the solution isn’t to reject the world as ‘not real’, rather it’s to realize our minds create an idea/perception of reality and miss out on reality itself.
That’s what we dedicate this website to, finding ways to ‘experience’ reality, ‘feel at home’ in the world, without trying to return to some infantile womb-like state of risk ‘derealization’ by ‘thinking’ (again using the mind, the same instrument that’s causing the troubles) that it’s not real.
I hope that provides a bit of clarity. :)
Mateo
“Essentially, anything that threatens our physical, mental or emotional survival — and any addictive, one-sided, oppressive ideology or habit — causes soul loss.” What if the world we live in now isn’t real? That we live in a world created by Evil and that we are trapped in it? Then soul loss is an end in itself. I think many are opposed to this. We feel that this is not the real world, that this is not the world created by God/The Universe. We want to go back to the Source. To achieve this, we must awaken spiritually. Thank you for your help with that!!!! Nicole
Hi Alethia- I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind clearing something up for me. In this article it’s written that the ego is a false self and it’s a misrepresentation of our soul, however in other articles on this site, the ego is named something necessary and healthy for a human. I’m just confused how I should view the ego. I have low self esteem and a poor sense of self. I want to build an ego because I feel I don’t really have one.
Hey Sonna,
I’m happy to answer this as I know Ale is answering comments in the recent article.
The ego may be a false ‘identity’ we create, but it’s still a necessary identity to exist as a human in day to day life. The ego is not a problem, it’s our identification with it that’s the problem. Ultimately the ideal outcome is having a healthy sense of self-esteem i.e: sense of self, which we can then become deeply aware of it’s nature and not get lost in identification with it; this then looks like watching your thoughts/feelings/emotions as cars driving by, you can experience them, but you’re not inside them lost in traffic.
I hope that helps clarify things.
Hi! I have always had lucid dreams.. and experiences Ive encountered of “Soul Spaces” are from within my dreams.
I don’t have an actual location, only the feeling of knowing it’s from around the 15th-18th century and one other as if I’m standing inside the sun with the brightest yellow light and in both places, there was no emotion, only just being watching other black silhouettes mumbling and walking as in if standing in line walking back and forth the same way one would wait and walk in line at an amusement park for a ride.
Is there a way to find out where these locations are specifically if any or is this the created outer creation of my soul or mind to call home?
Thank you much!